Lady Palutena farted a smelly, deep pitched brassy tuba toot as she was in one of the mansion's many lounge rooms, with the Smash News program coming on as several non playable characters gathered around, ignoring Palutena's ass gas.

"Oh joy I sure hope something good is on," Palutena said while munching on a bunch of pancakes she brought from the kitchen. "I'm sure it'll be exciting!"

"Today on Smash News, we got the gassy Goddess of Light as a special guest for some of our news programs!" Stated a red clothed Falco Lombardi as he rolled his right hand around. "Normally Captain Falcon would be here with me to elaborate on why, but he's not here at the moment. He's stuck in traffic, which Fox will state later. Anyway, to the other news!"

"Wait a moment how are you here and there?" Silver questioned while noticing the goddess sitting on the couch and on the television screen.

ROB moved by the hedgehog and shook his robotic head. "It's best not to question how a deity can be present here or there."

"The robot is right; it just happens." Dry Bowser added in while placing in some new carpet for the hallways, with them going on their own business while Palutena began burping loudly for she concentrated on watching herself on TV.

Weather with Pichu and Palutena

"It's going to be clear and sunny as usual!" Palutena stated and twirled her staff around, glancing at the baby version of Pikachu. "Did I do it right?"

"You did it perfectly, trust me." Pichu remarked while hiding underneath a cardboard box.

"...Why are you hiding in Snake's box?" Palutena remarked with her hands on her hips.

Suddenly several Metal Gear robots appeared out of nowhere, attacking the set as they began beating up Palutena, who was taken by surprise.

Fortune Show with Ganondorf and Palutena

"And for today's fortune, you shall all be purified!" Palutena remarked and performed a strip tease, revealing parts of herself.

"Madam, this is a show for people of all ages!" Ganondorf snapped as he performed a Warlock Punch on Palutena, knocking her out as he turned to the camera, chuckling nervously. "Heheh... sorry about that gong show, folks. Your fortune is being able to punch anyone with relative ease, and make crushing rocks seem such a breeze."

"Horray!" Exclaimed Chunky Kong, who was watching the Smash News inside his wooden cabin somewhere on Donkey Kong island.

Traffic with Fox and Palutena

"Well, I can see why Captain Falcon couldn't be here." Fox McCloud stated for he looked down the highway in his arwing, with it being nighttime. "Fourside is packed to the brim with vehicles!"

"You said it! Melee City is just full of-" Palutena then interrupted herself with a huge brassy fart. "Sweet relief! Sorry about that!"

"Goddamn it, Pal, I told you not to fart in here!" Fox snapped since Palutena farted again, with the amount of room in the arwing barely being present as Palutena's huge body made it too cramped in here. "Great, now we're gonna crash!"

Doing a barrel roll, like Peppy Hare would want, the two crashed into one of the many skyscrapers of Earthbound's Fourside metropolis, with a huge amount of smoke overlooking the traffic.

"Oh great." Falcon complained for the F-ZERO captain wasn't in the mood for this. "Now I'm going to take even longer to get here."

"...And that was today's Smash News." Falco responded as he shifted his papers, shaking his head in dismay. "Those poor people in traffic... glad I'm not there!"