In a moving carriage, a bizarre scene was playing out.
"Uhm, I think that means I get 200, right Subaru?"
Emilia asks for confirmation, as she grabbed a small piece of paper off of someone's back.
"Yup. Whenever you pass this place, you collect 200 from the bank."
Subaru taps his finger on a wooden board that had many squares on it, with each individual square having a different drawing on it. He tapped a spot on the board that had the word 'GO' in bold letters.
"But didn't I pass it and I didn't get it."
The raven-haired woman – who introduced herself a few moments prior as Elsa Granhiert, the infamous bowel hunter – frowned as she looked down at the ground at her pieces of paper.
Of everyone who was playing the strange game, Elsa was the one with the least amount of papers in her possession.
"Here, you can have some of mine."
Subaru bends down and offers up a paper with '500' on it, with the most charming smile he could muster.
He was hoping the action would win the woman's heart, but unfortunately for him, the simple action wouldn't make the woman fall for him.
"Thanks."
The woman struggled to grab the piece of paper, as she was not only in a pair of cuffs, but she was also on all fours on the ground, with her being the thing holding up the wooden board, but she somehow managed to grab it and placed it down near her.
"How'd we get to playing Monopoly? How did I get this hot chick to be our table? Flashback time!"
"[58 Minutes Ago]"
The current sword saint Reinhard Van Astrea, the half-elf candidate Emilia, and the normal boy Subaru Natsuki, all walk into the run-downed bar.
"It's you!"
The blonde-haired thief, Felt, says as she sees it's Emilia.
"Give it back!"
Emilia stretches out her hands and summons icicles around herself.
Reinhard was going to try to get Emilia to not shoot the icicles, but before he could attempt to ask her not to, he suddenly blocks an incoming kunai barreling straight for Emilia.
"Oho~ I didn't think the sword saint would be here."
The raven-haired woman stood up from the stool, smirking as she eyed Reinhard.
She pulled another kunai that was at her waist, and throws it, but this time it was aiming towards the red-headed knight.
*Clink* *Clink* *Clink*
Reinhard waves away the kunai barreling towards him, as well as the ones that the raven-haired woman had secretly thrown at both Emilia and Subaru.
"Thanks Reinhard."
Emilia thanks the knight with a small smile on her face.
"..."
Subaru nods with a smile of his own and flashes a thumbs up, but he surprisingly didn't say a word.
"Hehe~ I thought maybe you wouldn't see those, but you're not called the sword saint for nothing."
The woman's smirk grew wider, as she grabbed even more kunais from her waist.
"I am Elsa Granhiert, the bowel hunter."
The woman known as Elsa introduced herself, as she got into a battle stance.
Reinhard knew exactly who the woman was. She was an infamous assassin know for cutting out people's guts, as well as someone who was known for always completing the job.
He didn't have doubt that he would lose against her, but what he was worried by was his lack of weapon.
"Come on, aren't you gonna fight?"
Elsa teases.
Reinhard tries to unsheathe the sword on his waist, but is unable to.
He looks around the bar for a weapon to use, when fortunately for him, Subaru pats his shoulder and hands him a sword.
"..."
Being the helpful guy he is, Subaru gave the red-head a smile as he handed him the sword, but still kept silent and didn't let out a peep.
"Thank you."
Reinhard thanks Subaru, and then turns his attention back onto the woman Infront of him.
"Reinhard Van Astrea, current sword saint."
Reinhard gets into a stance as well, as he introduces himself.
Elsa smile grows wider as she feels a burst of energy flowing through her veins. Just like many other people who like battles in the world, Elsa had always wanted to have a duel with the famous sword saint.
She has heard the many great stories of the knight, with him being widely thought as the strongest person in the world.
Although naive of her, Elsa truly believed that she had a chance against the knight, and so she took the first move and advanced towards the knight.
Reinhard took a small huff of air and pointed his sword to the roof. Elsa still kept approaching the knight with a large smile on her face, as she immediately knew that the knight was going to slash at her. She brought up the kunai to block the incoming slash that was incom––
It was for nothing.
Reinhard brought the sword down in a slash and then the room went white, blinding everyone expect for Reinhard.
As the white light slowly faded, and as the dust settlled, Subaru opened his eyes and was shocked at what he saw. The roof was completely broken, with most of it now on the bar's floor.
He was lucky that he was standing off to the side, if not, he would have most definitely have been crushed yet again.
"Wow..."
Felt looked mouth agape at the now broken roof.
She knew Reinhard was strong, but she didn't think a simple looking slash would do that much damage to the place.
Emilia looked somewhat surprised, but her surprise quickly went away and she adopted a small smile.
"Good thing that woman's dead."
The big guy behind the counter says.
Subaru eyes widen and he finally opened his mouth.
"Don't jinx it you–"
Unfortunately for Subaru he couldn't finish his words, as before Reinhard could even react, Elsa appears from behind Subaru, and cuts open his stom—
Cut!
Now this is what annoyed me. Why the fuck did Rom jinx it there! I could've made it to the mansion on the first try, but nooooo, Rom just had to be a blabber mouth.
Like cum on dude, there was no need for your comment in that.
As you could've guessed by now, it's your's truly, Subaru Natsuki!
I'm the one telling you all this because I know Thirth Person would've just skimmed over my 'failed' loop, and of course I didn't want that to happen, so I thought I might as well just be the one to explain everything.
Basically right after I respawned from the 'failed' loop, I busted down the door(luckily I didn't break my arm), and quickly sprinted over to Elsa. I got out the handcuffs that I was talking about in the first chapter, and then I handcuffed her.
She unfortunately broke out of my cuffs, but luckily with the power of plot, Reintard luckily had a pair of super strong cuffs with him and easily cuffed her.
After Reintard cuffed the hottie, the dickhead Rom decided it was a good idea to open his mouth, saying something along the lines of "Oh we did it!"
Which btw, there is no WE! It was all my genius planning all the way from chapter one that made it possible, but the asshole gave the credit to everyone!
He's the first on my hit list.
Luckily after Reintard saw some weird glowing thing glowing in the blonde loli's hand; which I'm pretty certain was a bomb, he immediately put the loli to sleep.
The big guy Rom decided to play hero and tried to stop Reintard from taking the blonde loli away, but was put to sleep.
Reintard looked at the moon and mumbled some corny shit, and then he turned over to me and Emilia-pan and smiled.
Although he was smiling at us, I could tell the guy was eyeing my body. I didn't really have it in my heart to tell him I don't swing that way, so I just feigned a smile at the guy, and just allowed him to stare at my greatness.
After Reinhard was done ogling me, he tried to take away Elsa but I told him I got it.
He looked at me with skepticism for a moment, but with a flash of my smile I'm pretty sure I made his heart go doki doki, considering he turned away from me as his eyes saw my charming smile.
I didn't see it, but I know the guy was blushing madly as he imagined my smile.
He let me keep my little Elsa, and then a few minutes after he left, a beautiful chick in a maid dress came from the distance and stated she was looking for Emilia.
And what happened after that was just Emilia begging me to stay at her mansion, and Elsa also begging to follow along.
"And that's how were playing Monopoly!"
Subaru slams down his fist on Elsa's back, launching some of the figures that were on a wooden board into the air.
Emilia pouted at Subaru's eccentric action, and was going to scold him for it, but another person did it for her.
"I don't know how you found this rude boy, Emilia-sama."
A girl in a maid outfit shakes her head disapprovingly, as she and Emilia picks up the pieces from the floor, and off Elsa's back.
The girl had medium length pink hair with part of it covering over her left eye. Her pink haired perfectly matched her red eyes, and the maid outfit she was in, fit perfectly on the girl's beautiful body. If not a maid, the girl could easily be a model if she was on Earth.
"We can agree on that Thirth Person."
Subaru smirks and licks his lips.
"Gross."
The maid, Ram, looks in disgust at Subaru, but it doesn't deter the crazy boy.
"I like tsunderes!"
Subaru exclaims.
He had a large goofy smile on his face, which even though he just slammed his fist into Elsa's back, everyone couldn't help but smile at his antics; with the exception of Ram.
Ram just rolls her eyes, and then does her turn on the board game.
"Hah! That's my spot."
A smug smirk found its place on Subaru's face, as Ram's little figure landed on a spot he owned.
"Ugh, how much?"
Annoyed, Ram picks up some of her papers and looks over to the boy.
"56 bucks! Pay up beach!"
"Ugh."
Ram groaned.
"Be nicer Subaru."
Emilia frowned at the way Subaru was treating Ram.
She didn't really like the way he was treating Elsa either.
She knew Elsa had tried to kill them both, but she couldn't help but feel bad at how Subaru was treating the assassin at the moment.
"Eh, it's all good fun between me and Ram, right Ram?"
Subaru confidently smiles as he points over to the tsundere maid.
"Ah. This perverted waste of space is messing with Ram."
Ram blankly says.
"Stop messing with her, Subaru."
Emilia pouts at Subaru.
"I'm being framed Emilia-pan!"
Subaru once again slams his fist onto Elsa's back, making the pieces fall again.
"And stop hitting her!"
Emilia's pout drops lower as she scolds him.
"But she kill—"
Subaru was going to argue back, but time stopped.
"Not this shit again."
He mumbles.
Just like in his previous loop, Subaru was growing tired of not being able to talk about his deaths. He wanted so badly to share his struggles.
"It's not that, it's just that sometimes it takes so long for it to go back to normal."
Subaru lies to himself.
He really did want to talk with others, but was too scared to admit it to himself. And so to distract himself, he calls out to his favorite delusion.
"Let's play a game of chess while we wait Thirth Person!"
He excitedly exclaims.
Subaru leans his head against the carriage's wall, and closes his eyes as he smiles to himself.
"Add me on ! My user is top secret, so promise you'll block it from the readers, okay?"
Subaru asks of his delusion.
"I'll pretend you said yes, my user is [REDACTED]."
Subaru told his delusion that his user was 'TotallyNo––
"Fuck off Thirth Person!"
Subaru swears at the thing
"I specifically told you not to say it!"
Subaru looked genuinely upset at his delusion, something that hasn't ever happen before.
"Nah, I'm not mad."
Subaru's angry expression immediately fades from his face, as a large smile was now present. It was almost as if the crazy boy wasn't even angry in the first place.
"Okay, let's play now! My turn first"
Subaru says, as he innocently swings his legs back and forth as if he was a little excited child.
His actions actually made him look adorable, and made him seem like a innocent normal boy his age.
"Why aren't you moving?!"
His childish swinging of his legs stop, as well as his innocent demeanor, as his closed eyes twitch.
"I'll give you another sho— play the fucking game!"
Subaru raises his voice to his delusion.
"One more time..."
Subaru tries to settle back down, but his annoyance could be clearly heard, as well as clearly seen.
"Fuck you Thirth Person."
Subaru opens his eyes as he seemingly is done with his resting.
And he opened his eyes just at the right time, as time started resuming.
"Let's continue playing."
Subaru blankly says.
The others immediately noticed his frown on his face, and the way that he was unusually stoic.
"You okay, kid?"
Surprisingly, Elsa asks if he's fine.
Just like many people that meet Subaru, Elsa too felt a strange pull towards the boy. She was a cold-blooded killer, and she did still feel like gutting the boy, but at the very moment a part of her couldn't help but cheer the boy up.
"Do y'all think Thirth Person likes me?"
Subaru asks to the three girls with a small smile.
All the girls were confused by what he meant, but they all felt something telling them to answer a yes.
"Uh, I don't know who this 'Thirth Person' is, but I'm sure they do!"
Emilia is the first to try to tell him, and next is Elsa.
"You're an interesting guy, so most likely they do."
She was confused on why she was even saying yes.
The boy Infront of her had been non-stop ogling her body and had been treating her like a table for hours, and yet here she was telling him what he wanted to hear.
And then it was Ram's turn to tell him.
"You are somewhat annoying to be around, but as much as I hate to admit it, they probably do like you."
Ram kept her tsundere tone, but still managed to get out a confirmation like the other girls.
Just like Elsa she was confused on why she felt the need to say yes, but she still ended up giving the answer.
"Really?!"
Subaru asks excitedly, as his smile grows wider.
"Ye—"
Emilia nodded her head and smiled at Subaru, but is interrupted by Subaru.
"I return by d—"
Time is stopped.
Time resumes
"You what?
Emilia questions him.
"What! That was so fucking fast!
Subaru complained.
He had been wanting to monologue to himself, but it seemed the world didn't want him to.
"I think you should stop saying naughty words."
Emilia suddenly asks of him.
"Huh?"
Subaru looks taken aback by her suggestion.
He hadn't expected anyone to call him out for his potty mouth, especially not someone like Emilia.
"Yeah, I think you should stop with the naughty words, okie?"
Emilia innocently asks of him.
She wasn't bothered by his potty mouth at first, but now she realized Subaru would just slip in naughty words in almost every sentence he spoke.
"Fuck off."
Subaru swears at her.
"Bad boy."
Emilia pouts and wags her finger at––
"Fuck this!"
Subaru yells out.
"What the fuck is even this chapter? It's been a whole lotta nothing! We're not even playing Monopoly!"
Subaru complained, as he started punching the wooden plank he was sitting on.
"Another timeskip because Thirth Person literally narrates every single thing that happens."
Hours passed as the carriage moved along.
In that time, the group continued to play the board game Subaru came up, with the difference being that Elsa was no longer the table for the wooden board, instead they were now playing on the ground.
Another thing about the bowel hunter, was that she and Subaru had become friends over the game.
It started when Subaru distracted Emilia when Elsa had landed on one the half-elf's place, preventing Emilia from charging Elsa for rent as Ram had already moved her figurine.
After that, Elsa tried to do the same for Subaru when he landed on Ram's place, but unfortunately Ram didn't get distracted and still charged Subaru. Despite it not working on Ram, Subaru still respected that Elsa at least tried to pay him back, and so they secretly decided to team up.
Because of their secret alliance, Elsa managed to catch up, and ended up becoming the second richest out of the group.
"Ah, I guess you win Elsa."
Emilia sighs and smiles.
"Good shit Elsa!"
Subaru excitedly exclaims, even though he lost.
A few rounds earlier, Subaru had purposely gone bankrupt as he pretended to make a bad deal with Elsa, losing all the places he had gathered and them all going to the assassin.
The assassin looked proud of herself for tricking Subaru into a bad deal, unaware that the boy willingly walked right into it.
He brings his hand up for a high-five to Elsa, but he quickly remembered she was still handcuffed.
"That was fun."
Elsa said, as a genuine smile crossed her face.
"You want the handcuffs off?"
Subaru asks Elsa.
He had a large smile on his face, as he grabbed a small key from his pocket.
Both Emilia and Ram looked surprised at Subaru's sudden question, with Emilia being the most vocal about her surprise.
"I know Elsa has been good, but I don't think we should uncuff her."
Emilia expresses her honest thoughts.
The side of her that wanted to see the good in Elsa, was outweighed by the rational side of herself telling her that it wouldn't be a good idea to uncuff a dangerous assassin.
But it seems Emilia's words didn't reach Subaru, as the crazy boy had already entered the key into the cuffs.
The cuffs fall onto the wooden floor of the carriage.
"—!"
Both Emilia and Ram go into a battle stance, expecting Elsa to attack them all, but unlike the two wary ones, Subaru was standing right next to Elsa without even thinking the woman could attack him.
Elsa immediately reaches for her waist, and quickly pulls out a kunai and points it straight at Subaru's eye.
"Your welcome!"
Subaru smirks.
He completely ignores the blade that is only mere centimeters away from taking out his eye, as he just smirks at the assassin.
"Hehe~"
Elsa lets out a surprisingly cute giggle that doesn't match her mature appearance.
"You really are an interesting guy, Subaru."
Elsa says with a smirk of her own.
The assassin ignores the icicles that are currently being formed around Emilia, and just focuses onto the crazy boy.
"I hope we meet again."
Elsa pulls away the kunai from his eye, but not without quickly making a cut on Subaru's cheek.
Without waiting for a response from the boy, Elsa jumps out of the moving carriage, not without cutting away the icicles Emilia sent at her.
"Wow..."
Subaru exhaled.
He brought his hand to his cheek and felt the blood coat his fingers.
"Are you okay, Subaru?"
Seeing that Elsa had already gotten away, Emilia now focuses on Subaru.
"Yes I am..."
Subaru answers, sounding like he's in a trance.
"You dunderhead."
Emilia pouts.
She thought Subaru would understand how dangerous it was if he released Elsa from her cuffs, but of course the crazy boy just had to surprise her expectations, but not in a good way.
"I'm bricked."
"We're here."
Ram calmly says.
"Hooray!"
Subaru stands up from his seat and celebrates.
His celebration shows off his still erect manhood poking through his pants, as Subaru wasn't joking and had actually gotten erect from Elsa's goodbye.
Ram called Subaru disgusting when she saw the erect member and then started to ignore him for the rest of the ride, whilst Emilia was too innocent to even understand what was the bulge in his pants, so although she was curious about it, she didn't say a word about it and talked normally to Subaru.
"How embarrassing!"
Subaru face blushes bright red as he just barely notices his erection.
He had thought that Ram was just being her usual tsundere self, so he hadn't even noticed that his manhood bulge was clearly seen.
He quickly adjusts his pants to hide his bulge, but because Subaru had an above average size, his adjusting did little to hide his length.
"Thanks for compliment Thirth Person!"
Subaru walks out of the carriage, with him being the last of the three to leave.
"Woah..."
Subaru's jaw drops to the floor as he gawks at the massive mansion infront of him.
Being someone who frequently watched many animes back in his home world, even the richest character he knew of, Dr. Snuffles, hadn't had a house as big as the one he was currently seeing.
"Stop spreading lies."
Subaru whispers to himself, reminding himself he should lie.
"Ahem."
A blue-haired maid, looking exactly like Ram except she had a bigger chest, as well as her hair was covering her right eye.
"Uh, what is this OC doing in this fic?"
Subaru leans over to Ram and whispers.
Ram just rolls her eyes and answers Subaru.
"That is Ram's sister, Rem."
Ram said, as she held a small proud smile.
"Be nice to Rem."
Emilia tells Subaru.
She didn't want Subaru to treat Rem like how he first treated Ram.
"Emilia, Ram."
Subaru looks over to both girls.
"Yes, Subaru?"
Emilia cutely tilts her head at Subaru.
"What is it?"
Ram looks annoyed at him, but still asked.
Subaru looked at the two with confusion written all over his face, as he asked the two something.
"Who is Rem?"