Rebel Anarchy

by Kilo8

With no one left and no place to call home, the last surviving rebel fighter from a ruined world begins his journey to avenge his planet and comrades; to Pandora: where he plans to hunt down the leadership of Hyperion, the cause of his misfortune. However, he and the rest of Pandora will soon be thrown into a storm of anarchy when a certain redhead and her robot show up.

16. Chapter 16 New Enemies

-TRANSMISSION ONLINE-

-Beginning ECHO Review Log-

(Kilo8) Alright, welcome back everyone. I'll keep this short and any news for the end like last time, but I want to say sorry to anyone who felt disappointed by the way some characters acted in the last chapter, and that this chapter should help to rectify some of those feelings and I'll explain some of my reasons about the choices I've made for this arc at the end. So with that please enjoy the chapter.

-ECHO Transmission interrupted-

X-X-X

Disclaimer: I do not own Borderlands or any of its characters, Borderlands is owned by Gearbox Software and 2K Games, the only ownership I claim is of my own OC's. This is a story just for your fun and enjoyment. Please enjoy.

Stories text formats

"Talking"

'Thinking'

"Echo/Radio"

'Krieg's inner voice'

X-X-X

Chapter Beta Read by "Redemption's Avenger"

X-X-X

CHAPTER 16

New Enemies

Rong had been searching the base for Kai, who he hadn't seen since the evening before for well over an hour now. "Kai. Hey Kai where are you?" He sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. Since the little… argument yesterday the whole base has been on edge. The bulk of the base's personnel were now split into two opposing groups. On the one side, there were the medical staff and a few others who were backing Kai's decision to put a hold on operations, but the majority resented the decision and supported the newly coined General Dirk. Now it was a tense standoff as to what should be done as both Kai and the Alphas seemed to be missing.

On top of this, Captain Banks was drunk off his ass, singing old songs of victory and honor in the command center, again. This left him as the commanding officer of a base where it's personnel were more willing to follow the words of an idiot than an actual officer. An idiot who would run off a cliff if it meant a righteous victory and drag every follower under his command with him, Rong thought. Rong had seen it all before with several old COs back in his Crimson Lance, but never to this degree, never to this level of stupidity. It was as if everyone had 'drunk the kool-aid' as they used to say.

In his brewing frustration, Rong kicked a beer can that flew several meters and hit an old cargo container with a small 'clank' before falling to the ground.

*CLANG!*

Rong was spooked by the sudden noise. He looked around for the source but didn't see anyone. *CLANK! CLANK!* He turned and noticed a safe box sitting on an old workbench shaking around, immediately he went over and opened it. Inside he found an ECHO device and another device that he had seen Kai wear. Rong grabbed both items and started looking them over for any clues. As he did a small metal sphere fell out of the box and rolled next to his boot. "What the?" He muttered as he looked down at it. The sphere glowed and flashed as Hati flew out, knocking down and pinned Rong to the ground. Hati maw hovered close to Rong's face as the wolf let out an angry growl. "EASY! EASY! I'M UNARMED!" Rong panicked.

Hati looked the man over before realizing who it was and slowly stepped off of him. After catching his breath the officer looked to the wolf. "Hati. Right?" Rong asked as he sat up. Hati looked at him and nodded. "Okay… where is Kai?" Hati looked around for several seconds and sniffed the air some before he ran to a nearby container and started clawing at the door. Rong got up and walked over just as Hati flickered and dispersed in a swarm of particles, letting the Photon emitter fall to the ground. Rong walked over and picked up the emitter before looking at the door. There was a heavy padlock on the door which he didn't even think twice about as he pulled his sidearm out and shot it off.

Rong quickly opened the door to find Kai tied up and knocked out on the floor. "SHIT! KAI!" Rong rushed to him and started checking him over. "Hey come on kid you can't leave me to deal with all of these idiots alone asshole!" Rong said as he slapped Kai on the cheek several times, trying to wake him up.

"Uhm... it's too cold for training drills Colonel." Kai mumbled.

"Oh for-" Rong muttered. "WAKE THE FUCK UP!" Rong yelled as he gave Kai a heavy slap to his face. The slap had the intended effect of snapping the teen awake.

"AGH! Son of a bitch man. What was…" Kai stopped and took stock of his current situation before letting out an angered groan. "Oh, that fucking bitch!" Kai yelled. "Where's Dirk and his team?"

"I haven't seen them today." Rong shrugged.

Kai just muttered a curse under his breath as he looked around the room. A frown appeared on his face as he looked. "Where's my gear?"

"You mean this?" Rong held out his ECHO and Hati's photon pack which Kai took and quickly re-equipped. He looked around again then back to the Raider.

"What about my rifle?"

"That's all I found." Rong said with a shrug.

Kai was taken aback by this as normally he was never far from that rifle. 'Okay so I know that I had it on me before being knocked out and tied up by…' Kai thought until a look of realization came over his face. "Oh, that fucking cunt faced bitch of a drunken fat whale of a whore! She took my gun!" Kai yelled as he jumped up with an angry scowl. "Come on, we need to get to the command center." Kai growled as he ran out with Rong chasing after.

X-X-X

Axton was sitting in the nearly empty command center with a steel mug of black coffee (or what passed for coffee on Pandora) while watching Captain Banks dancing on the holo table singing a drunken version of Blood on the Risers. Axton was just getting over the last of the morphine effects from the day before much to his cringe. Compared to what it may have seemed he actually hated the stuff, as he always did loopy and embarrassing things when he was hopped up on it, only then to walk up the next day feeling like his body was in wet cement in two times gravity with a hangover on top of it. It was morphine that got him hitched to his ex-wife in the first place, luckily that had actually worked out for a while until he pissed off Dahl high command and had to run away in order to live… But if he was being honest with himself he really didn't regret the choice.

Axton was about to take another sip when the door to the command center slammed open to reveal a pissed off Kai with a confused looking Lt. Rong in tow. Kai marched to the table that the Captain was on, jumped up and Sparta kicked the man straight off, leaving the man crumpled up on the floor in pain. "WOAH! What the shit kid!?" Axton yelled.

"Axton?" Kai said in surprise, as he was not expecting to find the man there. He narrowed his eyes at the Commando. "Are you still on cloud nine?" Kai asked with a judgmental glare.

"No. Just a metric of pain and a hangover." The man replied.

"Good. That saves us some time, now then, WHAT KIND OF SHIT SHOW ARE YOU RUNNING BANKS!" Kai yelled as he jumped down from the table next to the man.

"The hell is wrong with you Kai?" Axton asked as he watches the scene in confusion.

"I tell you what's wrong! I got knocked out, tied up, and locked in a damn cargo container all night by Dirk's personal cheerleader slash slut!" Kai said with a tone of unbridled rage in his voice.

"Wait Kare-Kare tied you up? Why would she do that?" Rong asked.

"Tell me, does it seem a little too quiet in the base today?" Kai asked, as he sweeping an arm around the whole room.

It took Rong several seconds to connect the dots, but when he did the Lieutenant visible froze and looked to his Captain. "Sir, where is everyone and the Alphas?"

Banks sat up and gave a drunken smile. "They're off to see the wizard!~" He sang out.

"What?" Rong asked.

"Yeah, every trooper... and even that cute little red-haired girl with the cool robot arm are off to defeat the evil witch doctor, before he steals me booze and charges me for ten years of tax evasion." Banks drunkenly said with a loopy grin.

"Wait, Gaige went with them!?" Kai asked turning back to Banks only to find him lying back on the floor and snoring. Kai just sneered. "Tsk. Useless idiot. Rong, you're in charge here, I need to come up with a plan."

"WOAH! Hold on, what the hell is going on? Where is everyone and what happened to you?" Axton asked.

Kai looked between the two men before letting out a drawn-out sigh.

~Flashback~

"Ugh, what the fuck." Kai moaned as he tried to move, only to realize that his hands and feet were tied up and he was inside of an old freight container. Just then Kai heard a familiar yet very despised laugh, he turned to see Kare-Kare sitting on a nearby wooden crate with her legs crossed with an innocent expression on her face, with Bear-Bear in her lap. "Kare what the fuck is this!? Why am I tied up, where's Hati!?"

"Your mutt? oh don't worry about him, he locked away someplace nice and safe." She said as her damn Bear just laughed. "As for why you're tied up, well that's simple, you got in the way of my dear Dirky pie plan." She gushed as Bear-Bear jumped off her lap. "I mean how can you treat someone who's gone through so much hardship and lose so unfairly? And after all the good he and the Alphas have done for Polaris and Pandora." She asked sweetly.

"All the good, are you crazy? Your actions have gotten more of our own people killed then the enemy. Your team action caused the direct deaths of eight men today!" Kai growled.

"They served their purpose." Kare-Kare waved off.

"Served their purpose!? You evil uncaring bitch!" *SMACK* "FUCK!" Kai shouted in pain before looking to his right to see that it was Bear-Bear who had smacked him with its baton. However, the bear now looked different. Its eyes were now a glowing blood red that had an evil glint in them and seemed to have a more sinister smile as it chuckled.

Kare-Kare meanwhile gasped at the accusation. "I care! I care about Dirk! He's all I care about, after all, he's just so perfect!" Kare-Kare gushed with a dreamy look on her face. Kai had no inclination of trying to figure out what she was imagining. He was sure he would regret it if he did.

"Okay, so I talked down on Dirk's actions today, big deal. Being tied up and thrown in a storage container seems a little… excessive, even for a bitch like you. *WHACK!* "SON OF BITCH! I swear to god, I will rip the stuffing out of you. I don't care if you are a hologram, I'll find a way!" Kai yelled as the bear cackled.

The teen girl merely giggled at the inflicted pain on her prisoner. "That part of the reason, but the fact is you're just in the way. We're gonna go on that mission you tried to cancel, after all, it's another important step in Dirk's grand plan!"

"Dirk's grand plan?" Kai asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Well, my grand plan actually. We work our way up the chain of power and defeat Handsome Jack. Once we do, we will take control of Hyperion as its new leaders, and then use its powers to take back Zallerth, his kingdom, and his throne. Then, once we've slain those that have stolen his throne and kingdom he'll finally profuse his love for me after standing with him through it all!" She cheered like a giddy fan-girl. "And then will have a grand royal wedding that will be broadcasted to the universe and will live together happily ever after, as King Dirk Hardpeck and Queen Karen Hardpeck!" She said with a sinisterly happy smile as she cupped her face with a heavy blush. Kai would say later that he swore he could see hearts fluttering in her eyes.

Kai just stared in horror at this revelation. "Oh… My… God…! You're not crazy, you're just the absolute epitome of entitled batshit insanity!"

"Bear-Bear." Kare-Kare asked all knowingly.

*SMACK!* "OW! THAT IT! I'M FUCKING REFORMATING YOUR MEMORY CORE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! And you're not going to get away with this… Karen. YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WI- *GHACK*" Kai choked as the Bear grabbed his nose and held his head back while Kare-Kare shoved a flask into his mouth making him drink all its content. She soon removed it once it was empty causing Kai to cough for air.

"Oh you simple fool." She giggled. "I've already gotten away with it. By the time anyone finds you, we will be celebrating our victory, which the Crimson Raiders at Sanctuary will recognize and then invite us to join them. Then will be one step closer to Dirk's final goal and our destined matrimony." She boasted as she tossed the flask away as she twirled around. "See you at the victory party loser~. Oh, but you will still probably be knocked out cold by then if your past tolerance to alcohol is anything to go by."

"You goddamn. . . fucking. . . cunt." Kai rasped out before blacking out.

~Flashback End~

Everyone stared at Kai for several moments. "Holy shit, I knew that chick was crazy, but to be that crazy is…" Rong started to say but no one needed to fill in the blanks to that thought.

"Eh, it's Dirk, I'm sure they'll be fine. I trust him." Axton shrugged.

"Axton how can you say that!? You've been on only one mission with him." Kai asked as he scowled at the man

"And it was a success."

"You got shot!" Kai shouted.

"Details, details." Axton waved off.

"We lost eight Raiders because he jumped the gun." Rong stated with a sharp undertone of anger and regret.

"We lost eight men, Axton. Tell me how is that a successful mission." Kai reiterated. "And now that same idiot is leading Gaige and the other Raiders into danger far worse then what we faced!" Kai stated as his temper grew.

"Gaige is fine, she is in the New-U system."

Kai's anger boiled over as he marched up to the Commando and grabbed him by the shirt collar. "THAT WON'T WORK AXTON. HYPERION HIGH SECURITY AND R&D SITES HAVE ENCRYPTED NEW-U NETWORKS AND JAMMERS PREVENTING UNAUTHORIZED RESPAWNS! MEANING IF GAIGE DIES IN OR EVEN AROUND THE PLACE THEN SHE DIES FOR GOOD!" Kai yelled in anger.

There was a sudden slight glow in Axton's eye that seemed to just as suddenly fade to no one's notice. Axton for a second felt as if a haze had been lifted from his mind as he slowly began to process the information until the realization hit him like a flying bowling ball. Kai let go of him, let Axton take several steps back. "W-what. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ASSHOLE THINKING, COME ON WE GOTTA SAVE THEM." Axton yelled as he jumped up to try and rush out of the room only for Kai to grab him by the back of his jacket and held him back.

"Hold up brother bear. Good to see you come to your senses but we got another problem. They have a two hour lead on us. As it stands, even if we leave right now it will take almost three hours to get there by Technical, even a Runner at full speed can't go much faster."

Axton looked at Kai in disbelief. "So... are you saying all we can do is hope for the best?"

"I hate to say it… but yeah." Kai said grimly.

"FUCK!" Axton yelled as he kicked a chair over. As they had been talking, Rong had been keeping silent. "Come on Kai! There got to be something we can do!"

"I may have something that can get you there faster." Rong said getting the Vault Hunters' attention.

X-X-X

Just outside of the Crimson Raider HQ an old man was working away. The old man had finally fixed his cart after two days of hard work and had just placed the last cabbage on it. With a satisfied smile of a job well done, the man turned to put a few tools away when the garage door to the Crimson raider base his cart was parked in front of opened up. The roar of a jet engine firing up could be heard as two headlights cut through the darkness, followed by the sound of spinning tires. Reacting on impulse the old man jumped to the side as a polished steel skinned car barreled out of the garage and smashed through the cart, turning it into a shower of wood splinters and minced cabbages. The old man watched as the car quickly turned and raced down the street and out of sight. Then the old man just looks at where his cart was. "MY CABBAGES!"

The car soon flew out of one of the tunnels leading from Hollowpoint revealing it to be a Racer variant of a Runner. This Racer however had been heavily customized with a new minigun turret constructed from a pair of Vladof sniper barrels set up to make a four-barrel gatling gun. At the front, the single machine gun had been replaced by a pair of newer smaller caliber guns that had increased fire rates in trade for power. Also added to the front was a lightweight ram bar mounted on the nose with ports cut out for the guns. Finally, the single booster engine that all previous Racers had was replaced by a set of three smaller but slightly longer engines that were set up in a pyramid setup. On the side of the frame, the words Racer MK III was painted in black stylized letters.

"Who would have thought the medics were all a bunch of motorheads!" Axton yelled excitedly from the turret.

"I know, right. Scooter is going to be so jealous when he sees this beauty!" Kai replied as he drove.

It was quiet for a minute after that as they rode through the winding hills. "Sorry for… Sorry for ignoring you, and being an idiot. I should have realized just how stupid those kids are. Honestly, I don't even know what I saw in them."

"It's not your fault, it's Dirk's. The guy just seems to put everyone he meets into a trance or something… Hell, I was the same way for a time."

"What happened between you and them? Drik did say you were a part of the Alphas for a short time?" Axton asked.

"Yea… For all of four missions, but the fifth one. Well…"

Excluding the wind and the engine, there was a thick heavy silence between the two Vault Hunters. ". . . You lost someone." Axton said.

Kai was silent for several more seconds before letting out a sigh. "I had two good friends growing up, Jenny… and Tobias."

"Wait, the big guy? You were friends with that crazy, slow as tar muscle head."

"OI! He wasn't always like that." Kai yelled back in anger. "He used to be a pretty clever guy... at least until that fifth mission."

It was silent again for about a minute after that as they kept driving. "What happened?"

"... Dirk led us on a mission to capture a high ranking Hyperion officer who had apparently attacked a kid for fun. We found the bastard hiding out in a Hyperion firebase with about four platoons worth of Hyperion soldiers and bots protecting him. We managed to take the base and capture the officer, however, we lost several fighters while Tobias was injured. He got thrown into a steel wall by a PWR Loader… headfirst." Kai said grimly, causing Axton to wince at the implication as not much else needed to be said to figure out what happened to the kid.

"How bad?"

"Tobias cracked his skull in several places and was given a case of brain damage plus amnesia. The doctors said they could repair a lot of the damage but we just didn't have the equipment to do it. As for the falling out… I took a bad shrapnel wound to the chest and had to be put in a medical coma for two weeks to heal. When I finally woke up, Dirk had already inserted himself as Tobias's best friend. I tried to get him to remember me but… at that point, the friend I knew was gone."

It was silent for a moment as the info sank in. "What about your other friend?" Axton asked.

"Nothing." Kai answered which confused Axton for several seconds. "No explanations, no witnesses, no body, no Jenny. All I was ever given was her name on an MIA list from an after action report and her recovered photon emitter unit which neither myself nor my mother, who built the thing mind you, could ever get working again."

"Damn, that heavy man."

"Yeah, it is. Which is why I'll be damn if I let that bastard and his bitch take another friend from me."

"Well, I'm game for some payback and hero work. By the way, how did you recover so quickly from the drunken blackout that bitch forced you into, I thought it took you half a day or something to come out of one of those?" Axton asked curiously.

"Simple, Kare-Kare's got piss poor taste for booze, and if it wasn't for my abysmal tolerance I doubt a toddler could even get drunk after only one bottle of that shit she thinks counts as alcohol." Kai said with a chuckle.

"HA! So the psycho bitch is also a cheap date, that's funny." Axton laughed as the road in front of them finally straightened out and Kai began powering up the remaining jet engines.

"Alright, let's see what this baby can do." Kai declared excitedly.

"You do know how to handle this thing… Right?" Axton asked nervously.

"Nope, I've never driven anything this fast before, so you better HANG ON!" Kai yelled as he hit the booster, snapping both Vault Hunters to the back of their seats as the Racer's speedometer jumped to nearly two hundred kilometers an hour.

"I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE!" Axton yelled as the wind buffeted his face.

"I KNOW! ISN'T IT AWESOME!" Kai screamed back as they raced towards the horizon.

X-X-X

The day had started out… odd for Gaige. Kare-Kare had woken her up early telling her that the raid was back on and they were moving out within the hour. When she asked what changed, Kare-Kare told her that Dirk was able to convince Kai that this mission was too important to the cause and that action needed to be taken. Kare-Kare also said that Kai had volunteered to go ahead and recon the lab. Although Gaige's gut and DT for that matter told her something was off Gaige ignored that and joined in with over six dozen raiders and the Alphas as they drove several hours to the lab.

By the time they arrived, it was mid-afternoon on a Pandoran day time cycle. The building they were facing was circular in design with four ramp-like struts surrounding it. There were dozens of large turrets that were visible on the building and even several Badass Loaders walking around outside on patrol. The place was a fortress and it visibly unnerved many of the Raiders. That was until Dirk gave a corny but rousing speech.

"People I know this looks grim, they have twice our guns and three times our numbers. But I believe in all of you. I believe you have the power, the drive, the spirit, the belief, and motivation to face this great challenge head on. Together we shall march upon that fortress, burn it to the ground and drag out that evil man who helped kill an entire planet, so that he may face justice! Today, we are great, you are great and with that greatness my friends we shall have our VICTORY!" Dirk yelled in front of all the troops.

"NOW ATTACK!" He yelled as everyone charged the front gate.

Once contact was made the battle quickly got bogged down as both sides traded shots for about twenty minutes, until one overly exuberant Raider took a Runner, slapped a bundle of explosives on it, and drove it into the front door. The guy jumped out before he hit the gate and successfully blew it open, but the Raider was quickly cut down by a sentry turret. With the main door blown open Dirk ordered everyone to give cover fire, while Gaige and the Alphas rushed into the lab.

It took the team of teens another twenty minutes of fighting to finally reach the center of the facility where Dr. Lobotomous lab was. The room was a massive circular area that was about 400 meters round and 300 meters tall with a massive glass skylight with dozens of walkways, heavy cranes and support gantries hanging off of the heavier support struts. The only issue was there was nobody there or anything else on the ground for that matter, no equipment, no personnel, nothing.

"Where the hell is everyone!" Kare-Kare screeched.

"Maybe Kai was right, maybe Dr. Lobotomous was never here." Gaige suggested.

"SHUT UP BITCH!" Kare-Kare yelled, scaring the Mechromancer.

Gaige backed away from the cheerleader. "Woah, What your problem?"

"Don't question Dirk's wisdom, Dirk is always right!" Kare-Kare growled.

Dirk was ignoring both girls as he looked around the room as Ice walked over. "What the play boss, I need to know what tune we're gonna jam to." Ice asked.

Dirk pondered this for a moment till he walked forward several meters, where he pulled his sword out and pointed it into the air. "IN THE NAME OF THE CRIMSON RAIDERS AND THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS OF POLARIS I ORDER YOU SHOW YOURSELF, COWARD!"

"Hold on!" Came a voice over a loudspeaker. "I'm trying to get this properly. . . Got it! We're good sir!"

"Finally! Took you long enough!" Came a familiar voice that Gaige knew all too well.

"Oh great, it's him." Gaige muttered.

A large circular hovering platform descended from above. A set of hologram projectors activated as they formed the image of a laughing forty-meter tall Handsome Jack. "That right morons, it's me, the smart, talented, well endowed, and very handsome Handsome Jack, here to welcome you all to your DOOM!" He said with an ominous voice at the end.

"JACK! YOU VILE FIEND! WE MEET AT LAST!" Dirk yelled with his sword pointed at the hologram.

"Yes, we finally met... uggggh... Who the fuck are you? I see the Vault Hunters little redheaded mascot."

"HEY! I'M NOT LITTLE!" Gaige yelled only to be ignored.

"But where are the other Vault Hunters and the rebel Polarion piece of shit? And who the fuck are you kids?"

"My name is Dirk Hardpeck and I am-"

"Woah Woah Woah, hold on." Jack interrupted trying to hold back a laugh. "Your name is Dirk Hardpeck?"

"Actually his name is Prince Dirk Hardpeck the Fifth of Zallerth!" Kare-Kare proudly stated.

Jack's hologram just stared for several seconds until he fell to the ground of the holo platform holding his gut laughing. "Oh my god, that name is so bad! Your ancestors must have hated your great whatever father or been idiots to think that was a good name. Oh my gosh, that's just too funny! HA HA HA! And you call yourself a prince too! That so fucking adorable! HAHA!" Gaige looked over to Dirk who looked pissed along with Ice, while Kare-Kare had a murderous look in her eyes. This continued for several minutes until they could see the pain on Jack's face from all the laughing. "Oh God, haha, it hurts. Okay, now run along kids, my fight with someone who actually knows how to fight and not a bunch of children playing soldier."

"Who could possibly be a greater challenge than us? I mean we're too cooooOOOL to be passed up." Ice demanded with a slight sneer of jealousy.

"Kai the Rebel, that bastard has been a thorn in my ass for months now."

"WHAT!? What has that idiot done to garner the attention my Dirky poo deserves!?" Kare-Kare screeched to the ache of Gaige's eardrums.

"What hasn't the prick done, Assassinations, sabotage, theft, not paying his parking tickets, the list goes on. I mean go ahead kill a few employees, I can replace them easily. Destroy a few hundred Loaders, who cares, I can build them faster than tin cans, but then he also wrecks a few of my big pet projects, and helped destroy several important facilities. I mean I get it, you're mad that I killed your planet. But the most egregious of his crimes is that he hacked and fucked with my cappuccino machine! NO ONE FUCKS WITH MY MORNING CUP OF SUNGARA PLATINUM ULTRA BLACK BREW FRAPPUCCINO AND GET AWAY WITH IT!" Jack took a large breath and muttered "breath and relax" several times. "Sorry about that, I've been dealing with the fact I haven't had a good cup of coffee in several days so excuse me if I'm a little… tense. Now, where were we?"

"You were trying to figure out who they are." Gaige said as she pointed to the Alphas.

"Right, thanks kid. Now again… who the fuck are you snot nosed wannabe punks?"

Dirk puffed his chest and took a step forward. "We are the best warriors Polaris has to offer! We are the tip of the sword, the light in the darkness, the knights of justice and righteousness. We are the ALPHAS!" Dirk cried as the team took their signature pose around Dirk. "And we are here to seek justice for the crimes you have committed against the people of both Polaris and Pandora!" He yelled, pointing his sword at the hologram.

For some reason, one half of Gaige's mind was telling her that the Alphas were being super cool at the moment. The other half however was telling her to feel really embarrassed for even knowing these teens and she didn't know why. Her pondering was quickly pushed aside when Jack started laughing again.

"...You kids? HAHA! You don't look like Polaris rebels, let alone look like a threat, I mean look at you. A gallant knight, it's the 29th-century dingus, not the dark ages. Go back to playing Bunkers and Badasses if you want to be a knight!" He turned and pointed to Ice next. "A hipster greaser who thinks he's the coolest thing since the Fonz. No one is cooler than the Fonz dick weed! I'm not even that cool and I'm the coolest thing since sliced bread! Next, we have the generic big dumb strong one who looks like he got a peanut for a brain and looks way too kind hearted to be fighting out in a warzone."

"Actually he only like that because of the brain damage." Dirk said nonchalantly.

"THAT EVEN WORSE!" Jack and Gaige both yelled in surprise. They both looked to one another for several seconds before ignoring the odd moment of agreement.

"Whatever, and of course you idiots brought a cheerleader!... Granted, points for getting a cheerleader to join your little gang but those points are canceled out bringing a stereotype that is more useless than a toaster in a gunfight. Hell, I'd bet a hundred billion dollars that miss pom-poms can't even take a hit from a midget armed with a rusty spoon! You idiots are not-"

"Ah-em" Everyone stopped and looked over to realize Jade was still standing there.

"Oh great, you also have a wannabe ninja, how original. Like I haven't seen that a dozen times already… Points for staying inconspicuous though kid. But as I was saying you guys are no fighters, you're more like the cast to a bad Saturday morning cartoon." He said in a bored tone.

"Huh, Kai said the same thing." Gaige said.

"Did he now? HA, that bandit lover has more brains than I thought if he saw that, and well as much as I hate the guy, he has proven himself to be a royal pain in the ass since he's got here. Hell, this place was supposed to be a trap to lure him and his mangy mutt in so that I could kill him and maybe a few of the other Vault Hunters, but I'll settle for five bargain bin rebels and his little girlfriend. It's better than nothing." He shrugged nonchalantly.

"THAT BASTARD IS NOTHING BUT A COWARD, HE TRIED TO STOP OUR RAID!" Kare-Kare screeched.

"Oh, and what notable things have you done since getting to this planet? Because it looks like you guys have just been playing soldier!" Jack shot back.

"We've raided dozens of your supply convoys! CoooOOOOL!"

"Kai and his buddies have done twice that. Multiple in one day in fact."

"We've foiled several ambushes!" Kare-Kare yelled.

"The guy pulled a prison escape! That beat a few ambushes."

Gaige tunes herself out from the argument as she begins to think about what she has been observing. 'Are these guys really all that uptight about not getting recognized? I mean, isn't the point not to paint yourself as a target. Sure, Kai bragged from time to time, but he didn't make a spectacle about it every chance he got.' Then it also occurred to her. 'Wait, why would Kai suddenly change his mind about this mission so quickly? He was completely against the entire idea... Did… did he really agree to this, or did the Alphas lie about getting the go ahead for this mission? Would they really lie? That's just ridiculous right?... Just… maybe they did lie… but aren't they too cool to lie-'

Gaige's thought process was interrupted when Jack finally got fed up and threw his arms up in frustration. "You know what, screw this! Doc it showtime!" The floor opened up as a fountain of steam fired up from the opening as something large rose up. "I like to introduce all of you to Dr. Lobotomus's latest weapon creation, the HXR!"

The steam clears to reveal a massive… Robot leg. Not a pair, but a single giant Hyperion yellow robot leg with what looked like a crane cab attached to the pelvis joint at the top left. In the cab was a man with wild brown hair with a single streak of white, red-tinted goggles and a clean pressed lab coat, all just screaming I'm a mad scientist.

"What the! Doc, where the hell is my giant robot!?" Jack screamed in anger.

"I told you it would take a week for each section, and I only just started last week, but worry not sir. This leg is more than enough to dispatch these delinquents." Dr. Lobotomous stated.

"IT A FUCKING LEG LOBOTOMOUS! AS IN SINGULAR, WHAT THE FUCKING HELL CAN A SINGLE LEG-" Several compartments open up all over the Leg. A heavy Hyperion plasma cannon on the knee cap Digi-structured, two sets of laser turrets on either the thigh popped out, several RPG pods opened on the lower leg, and a large missile from its toe. Jack just stared at the weaponized robotic creation in front of him with dumbfounded awe. ". . . Okay, I take back what I said."

"Oh, crap baskets." Gaige said as the Leg started to hop forward while firing RPGs wildly causing the group to scatter. Gaige pulled out a corrosive Tediore shotgun and fired at the leg as it hoped after Ice. Dirk and Kare-Kare deployed their partners and began firing with their own weapons, while Tobias just started tossing explosive barrels while not moving much. As for Jade, Gaige didn't know, the ninja had just disappeared at some point. The only indication that he was still here was the occasional snap of a Maliwan sniper rifle. 'I've been here too long to identify a weapon just by its sound.' Gaige thought for a second.

Xarvasdys flew in and unleashed a blast of fire at the Leg, but the unit's shield shrugged it off like a mosquito bite. "How cute, you have a pet lizard. Oh, this gives me an idea for an experiment! Let see what happens when a lizard is hit with multiple high intensity laser guns!" The laser turrets turned and each shot a focused beam at the dragon. Xarvasdys let out a roar of pain before turning away.

Seeing that Xarvasdys fire blast, let alone her shotgun, weren't working Gaige swapped to her recently acquired Commerce Beta SMG and started firing away at the Leg's shield. Maya had given her the SMG a week before but upon acquiring it Kai had nab it from her to her dismay. The next day he brought it back and found he had sup it up so that it was higher damage and could emit a large electric over-charged burst to every fifth round. This made it the perfect anti-shield weapon in her mind as she excitedly began spraying the monstrous leg with shock infused bullets. After about two minutes however and nearly a dozen magazines Gaige began to notice that the indicator on her ECHO showed no significant damage to the Leg shield. "Hey guys, we're not even putting a dent in this thing shield, let alone its armor." Gaige yelled over the fighting.

"That may be so but this monstrosity of science has to falter at some point. Dirk yelled as he threw a corrosive grenade. " Now, keep pressing the attack!" Dirk yelled as he started firing away with his Hammer Buster. The Leg fired a single laser beam at Dirk from one of the small turrets which were blocked by a barrier shield that Bear-Bear deployed in front of the teen knight. The barrier held for several seconds until it broke making Dirk roll out of the way.

"YOU TRIED TO HURT MY DIRKY KNIGHT! DIE! Kare-Kare yelled as she pulled out a Bandit Bombabarbardeer rocket launcher and started firing recklessly at the Leg. Several shells hit the Leg causing no damage but several more rockets missed and corkscrewed away. They began impacting the walls and ceiling causing part of them to start falling. One large beam fell just five meters behind Gaige, scaring the girl to near death.

"Kare-Kare! You're doing more damage to the building than the Leg, stop firing!" Gaige yelled in panic.

"Die Die! Die!" Kare-Kare screamed continuously, firing rockets with reckless abandon.

"Little girls shouldn't play with such toys." Dr. Lobotomous said as he aimed the plasma cannon at her. Before he fired a large ball of ice impacted the side of the Leg making the Doctor miss his shot and blew a portion of the floor up. Lobotomous turned in time to see Ice throw another large snowball at the leg. "WHY YOU LITTLE RUNT!" He yelled as he fired a set of RPG's at the hipster who immediately started running away while yelling "CooooOOOOL!"

"That's it! Get him, turn that Fonz wanna be into a smear on the ground!" Jack hologram yelled.

As this was going on Gaige pulled out a Torgue rocket launcher she picked up from the armory the other day. She took aim and fired two rockets in quick succession which both impacted the back of the Leg. When the smoke cleared she saw that the rounds barely took off a point of the robot shields. "HAX! I call hax!" Gaige yelled in anger. Two of the laser turrets spun around and started firing bolts of energy at her, forcing her to run. "Kare-Kare! A little assistance here!" Gaige yelled.

"Sorry Gaige, I'm a little busy." The girl said flippantly as she dreamily watched Dirk as he blasted away with his Hammer Buster in one hand and a Dahl SMG in the other. "*Sigh* He's just so handsome and hunky." She swooned.

"DAMMIT KARE-KARE!" Gaige yelled as she kept running to dodge a barrage of RPGs.

"HA HA HA! Dance for me my little lab rats! DANCE!" The mad scientist yelled.

"Hey Doc, up top." Jack yelled. The doctor turned in time to see Xarvasdys swoop in and unleash a torrent of flames from his mouth that formed a fire twister that engulfed the robot Leg. The Alphas all stopped firing and started cheering in celebration.

"Good work Xarvasdys." Dirk said as the massive dragon landed next to him. "Excellent job my friends. Another fine victory against the tyrannical rule of Handsome Jack." Dirk proclaimed, receiving another set of cheers from the three other Alphas.

"You know, you must be really stupid." Jack said.

"Oh, and do tell why vile villain! We just defeated your scientist and his abominable machine." Dirk proudly proclaimed.

Jack just laughed which sent a spike of foreboding dread through Gaige's spine. "Do you really think a little fire is gonna destroy one of my company's armored creations?"

Before Dirk or the other Alphas could retort a large plasma bolt shot out of the tornado and blasted straight through Xarvasdys's head causing the headless dragon hologram to fall over before dispersing. From the twister which was petering out, the Leg hopped out, undamaged from its time in the tornado. "I will admit, that was an impressive looking attack, but honestly, that felt more like a warm mid-summer breeze than an attack. Now be good lab rats and DIE FOR SCIENCE!" Dr. Lobotomous yelled as he started pressing the attack again.

The fight quickly turned into a game of cat and mouse as Gaige and the Alphas kept trying to attack only to be forced back over and over again. Throughout the fight, Gaige repeatedly tried to get help from Kare-Kare when her shield was low or ask Ice to cover her while she tried to reload her rocket or other weapons, but they just seemed to ignore her. Tobias was somewhat helpful but ended up bringing more attention to them than intended. When she asked for an assist from Dirk he would just give some inspirational words, that while encouraging, did nothing to help her. It also didn't help that Jack hologram was acting as a second pair of eyes and calling out targets to the Doctor in the snarkiest way possible while insulting everyone.

After a particularly heavy assault from everyone, the Leg hopped back some distance from the group. "Alright you damn lab rats, have a dose of this! DOCTOR ORDERS!" Dr. Lobotomous yells as the heavy missile is fired from the foot and goes straight up into the air about a hundred meters before turning and landing straight down in the middle of the group causing a massive explosion. Everyone nearby was thrown away by the blast which left a strange sickly yellow cloud.

As Gaige picked herself up, her ECHO started screaming with a crackling noise that her scientific mind immediately identified. "Radiation! Everyone move!" Gaige yelled as the Alphas heeded her warning and moved away from the spreading cloud. While radiation weapons we're not unheard of on a large scale, small scale use had been starting to crop up more recently as high power, extremely low half-life materials were discovered. Luckily even if someone is hit by radiation all they need is a med-hypo to stop the poisoning and avoid prolonged contact which was also not much of a problem as the cloud quickly dissipated.

Gaige quickly joined back with the others behind a large slab of metal that had fallen earlier as the mad Doctor began pummeling the area with. "Well that was close, also, I don't know if you guys have noticed but we're all starting to run out of ammo. Plus there are no crates or anything to loot ammo from in here." Gaige said as she took a quick check of her gear. She had already depleted her rockets, which she didn't have much to begin with and none of her other guns were even making a dent in the things shield which kept recharging if no one shot at it for more than ten seconds.

"It is of no worry." Dirk said with confidence.

"Well, we're gonna need a plan if we are to take this thing out!" Gaige yelled as she resummoned DT for the third time already. He immediately flew out and started launching lightning bolts and drawing attention away from them.

"Don't worry yourself, young maiden!" Dirk said with a smile to which Gaige looked at him in confused silence. 'Maiden? I don't think I'm what someone would call a maiden.' Gaige thought as Dirk continued. "I have a plan, my dear friend, it's simple yet bold! If range attacks don't work, then we shall meet it head-on!" Dirk yelled as he drew his sword out and held it up. "AT POINT BLANK RANGE!"

"Uh, fighting close range against a giant fucking leg seems like a very bad idea." Gaige said only to be ignored as Dirk walked out from the cover and raised his sword.

"Alphas! Gallant Alpha RUSH!" He bellowed.

"COOOOOL!" Ice yelled as he started skating off. "HEY OVER HERE YOU BIG SNOT NOSED NERD!" The greaser yelled getting the Doctor undivided attention. As the Doctor started trying to blast Ice, Tobias switched the barrels from explosive to slag and started lobbing them at the distracted robot, coating the lower foot in slag.

"All right! Ready? Okay! DIRK OUR MAN! RA RA RA! DIRK SO COOL! YEA YEA YEA! DIRK IS GONNA WIN IT ALL! GOOOOOO DIRK!" Kare-Kare cheered, causing an aura of red energy to envelope her pom-poms before the energy shot over and surrounded DIrk which all quickly congregated at his sword.

When the transfer of energy was complete Dirk charged forward towards the Leg with his sword held up and ready. Ice came around and blasted the ground in front of Dirk with his ice sprayers to make a path of smooth ice straight to the Leg which Dirk started to skate on to pick up more speed. "For the honor of my forefathers! GALLANT ALPHA RUSH!"

"What? OH SHIT!" Dr. Lobotomous screamed just as Dirk got to the leg, jumped into the air, and unleashed a mighty slash at it with the glowing sword at the Leg ankle. There was a thunderous clang of steel, and a second later Dirk landed on the ground several meters from the Leg where he stood up and turned his back to it.

"Victory for the honored!" He yelled striking a pose. . . Nobody moved for several seconds as Gaige looked around.

"Um, was something supposed to happen?"

Dirk looked confused as he turned back to the Leg. "I don't understand that was one of my strongest attacks! It has never failed me! You should have been swiftly defeated by that move!"

"PFFT HAHAHA!" Jack started laughing as he had to hold his stomach. "Holy nut sacks! I was just joking about the cartoon superhero bit. But Gallant Alpha Rush!? That is the corniness name for an attack I ever heard. Plus it just looked so stupid."

"It wasn't that stupid." Gaige said, although her will in such belief was snacky.

"I will give you points kid. That attack did pierce the shield and damage the leg." Lobotomous said calmly as he looked over a screen in the cockpit.

"WHAT!" Jack yelled in anger before turning to the scientist. "I thought you said this thing was impenetrable!"

"It will once the mech is complete, remember this leg has only one of several shield generators, sir. Besides the only damage those idiots did is the robot equivalent of someone taking a set of keys and using them to scratch the paint job on the prick truck who keeps parking it your personal parking spot!"

Everyone just looked at the man in the Leg cockpit cab. ". . . That's a little specific doc." Jack pointed out.

"Just because Davidson works as head of marketing doesn't mean HE CAN TAKE MY SPOT!" Dr. Lobotomous screamed as he made the Leg start firing nearly all its weapons wildly, hitting the walls, floor, and ceiling. Wreckage started falling all-round as several of the gantry cranes on the ceiling were blown apart, forcing everyone to run for cover under a particularly large but sturdy support beam that fell earlier.

"I dare say, my friends, we seem to be in a spot of trouble. None of our gear seems to be having an effect." Dirk said.

"You could say that again, I'm nearly out of ammo here with the exception to my assault rifle and pistol ammo." Gaige said as Ice and Tobias nodded in agreement as they looked at their own reserves.

"I have something that may work, Dirky Luffagus!" Kare-Kare cooed as she activated the storage device in her purse. To Gaige's shock, she watched as Kare-Kare pulled out Kai's Clementine and presented it to Dirk. "Here you go! I hope you like it honey bun."

"I say Kare-Kare, this is a marvelous weapon! One fit for a worrier, of my caliber." Dirk beamed proudly, leaving the girl flustered.

"Only the best for you my strong Dirky Senpai." Kare-Kare nearly squealed in excitement at the praise as Gaige gawked in shock.

"The fuck! That Kai weapon! How did you get it!?" Gaige inquired forcefully.

"Oh, he let me have it to give to Dirk, for the good of the mission. His words were only Dirk could possibly handle such a weapon." Kare-Kare innocently said with her sweet girl next door face.

For a split second the Mechromancer brain was about to accept that statement, no her brain was compelled to accept this reason as truth. Before her mind did accept it though a single memory to cut through that train of thought like a hot katana wielded by Zer0.

FLASHBACK - Two weeks earlier

Kai and Gaige were currently taking practice shots at some Bullymongs atop a cliff across a massive crevasse near the marrow fields. The reason for this was to… try and improve Gaige's accuracy with ranged weapons. After the incident at Southpaw, everyone agreed that the girl needed training with a sniper rifle. Gaige was currently using a bi-pod Vladof sniper she had found several days before and was trying to miserable effect to hit a Bullymong who didn't even seem to notice it was being shot at.

"How the hell are you so bad at this when even your Anarchy is empty? Even when Scooter is drunk off his ass he can at least wing a skag from 300 meters away, with a bandit rifle, but you can't even hit a creature that twice or thrice its size with a sniper rifle at half the range!" Kai said as he set down the spotter scope he was using.

SHUT UP! It's harder than it looks!" Gaige retorted with a pout as Kai pick up his Clementine.

"Not really." Kai retorted as he looked down the iron sights of his Clementine. A second later he fired a single shot at the Bullymong she had been firing at and blew the creature's brains out.

Gaige looked between him and the rifle. "How the hell did you hit a Bullymong at that range without a scope?"

"Practice, lots of practice." He said cheerfully before firing another round which ripped apart a Monglet chest as it was in mid-jump.

Gaige stared at him for several seconds as she shot him a scrutinizing glare. "Bullshit. It's got to be the gun… Let me try it."

"No." Kai bluntly replied as he fired again and hit a Slinger through the heart, blowing said heart out of it back and onto the face of another Bullymong who began to panic before slipping on the blood of an earlier kill and sliding off the cliff to its doom.

"I bet you're just afraid that I'll be a better shot with it than you!" This got a chuckle out of Kai before he took another shot which brained two Adult Bullymong who were unlucky enough to be lined up.

"Firstly, it took me a whole year just to be able to handle this rifle, your little ass wouldn't be able to handle it. Second, you'd probably break something if you tried to shoot this weapon. Third, you haven't even managed to hit anything with any scoped sniper rifle yet so good luck eyeballing a target with an iron sight." That one got Gaige to pout. "And finally, old Wind Snapper entrusted me with this weapon. A weapon that he spent years crafting, one that he poured all of his heart, soul, and experience into. I respect that old grouch far too much to let anyone, especially a gun-ho rookie with a pension for anarchist behavior use this weapon, which as I said before would probably knock you on your little ass at the very least." He fired again, this time he shot a Brat mong off the back of a badass Bullymong.

"Did you just insult and tease me?" Gaige said, slightly flustered.

He fired for a seventh time, blasting another adult mong's arm off which caused it to lose its footing and fall off a cliff it was hanging on. "A little." Kai said with a cheeky grin.

"Screw you asshole." She pouted, getting Kai to laugh.

"The point is Gaige, the only way I would ever let someone even touch this weapon." He stated as he focuses on a Badass mong. "Is if they were to pry it from my cold dead hands."

*BANG!*

~Flashback over~

The light that Gaige had in her eyes for the Alpha's faded as she watched Dirk begin to load her best friend's most treasured possession. "No… You stole it… YOU STOLE KAI'S CLEMENTINE!" Gaige yelled in rage.

"What? I would never steal. Honest." Kare-Kare said with a smug smile on her face. "It was he who stole it. Back on Polaris, it was stated by Command that the Alphas had earned first picks on any weapons which that idiot or his creepy old mentor made. *Humpf* To think that coward would try and hide such a powerful weapon from my dear darling Dirky-Kun."

"So you did take it from him!" Gaige pointed.

"It wasn't his, to begin with, just like that Hammer Buster and Luck Cannon that me and Ice had to take back from him." Once again shocking the Mechromancer only for her eyes to narrow in anger as she marched up to her.

Using her robot arm Gaige grabbed the cheerleader by her shirt and drew her close. "What did you do to Kai… Bitch."

The girl just laughed in Gaige's face with no regard to her safety. "That idiot, I knocked him out with a full flask of Vodka. He'll be out for the rest of the day until well after the victory party." She stated smugly. "Serves him right really. After all, all he does is try and drag Dirk's greatness through the mud by saying things like you're reckless, you're a menace, your plans will get our allies killed, you stole my guns or you killed my friends."

Gaige let go of Kare-Kare at this last statement and backed up from her with a look of shock. "What?... You. He. What?"

Kare-Kare let out another annoying laugh. "While the brain damage does limit Tobias some, he's just so much easier to manipulate, and that has made him an excellent emergency meat shield when things get hairy. As for that little thot friend of his, Jenny I think was her name, I took my chance and shot her in the back. I not only eliminated my competition for Dirk but she made a nice distraction to escape those Hyperion troops following me. I even threw a grenade in after me for good measure." Kare-Kare waved off.

"But.. why would you tell me this?" Gaige asked.

"Two reasons, first, Hyperion labs like this have all sorts of jammers and access codes to prevent any unauthorized personnel from using their respawn network." Gaige's eye's widened at the sudden implication that she was in mortal danger. "And secondly." Kare-Kare said, giving Gaige an evil smile. "Because you're not going to make it out of here alive! After all, the fewer females in our group means less competition for my Hunkey Little Dirkey Pie!" Kare-Kare gleefully cries out just as Gaige hears something behind her, she turns to see Bear-Bear about to bring a hard light clever down on her. Everything slowed down for Gaige as she tried to raise her robot arm to block, but she could see she wasn't gonna be fast enough. She watched in adrenaline-fuelled slow motion as the cackling teddy bear's blade came closer and closer to her face.

Just as the blade was about to strike her, a massive metal clawed hand grabbed the floating bear and pulled it back. Both Gaige and Kare-Kare watched in shock as DT held the struggling bear in his massive left claw. [Just what do you think you're doing to my maker... plushie?] DT warbled out to the Bear with newfound anger in his voice.

[UNHAND ME YOU PILE OF RUST! ONCE I'M DONE GUTTING YOUR PIECE OF SHIT MASTER I'M GONNA DISASSEMBLE YOUR CPU AND THROW YOUR BODY IN A CAR CRUSHER WITH A MILLION HIGH POWER MAGNETS! THEN DIP YOUR REMAINS IN A BARREL OF ACID!] Bear-Bear squeaked in rage.

The death bot glared at the struggling hologram. [Hati was right, you are just a piece of malware.] DT slowly began clenched his grip tighter around the bear causing it to screech in pain until it's hologram body shattered into a shower of sparkling pixels.

"BEAR-BEAR NOOOO!" Kare-Kare cried out in horror!

Before Kare-Kare could say another word Gaige took advantage of the distraction to spin around and decked the cheerleader in the face with her robot arm, knocking the girl down. "Eat that you fucking BITCH!"

Gaige looked to her partner and gave him a thumbs up which he returned, before turning and looking back to the battle. She quickly realized that the boys had all not noticed her and Kare-Kare's absence or their little confrontation. Tobias and Ice had been grabbing Dr. Lobomious attention with a multi-sided attack, while Dirk had been making hit and run attacks with his sword. Dirk jumped back and put away his sword. "It's time to end this farce, once and for all!" He pulls out the Clementine and shoulders it. "Now witness the true power of Polaris ingenuity!" He yells before pulling the trigger. The rifle lets out a loud crack as it's followed up by a yell of pain. The window on the cockpit Dr. Lobotomous had a large hole in the glass, showing that the bullet had gotten through but the round had missed the doctor's head by several millimeters to the left. The only damage Dr. Lobotomous had were a few glass shards in his cheek which he was picking out. Gaige then heard a scream of pain that brought her attention back to Dirk who was holding his right shoulder as he had dropped the rifle.

"What in the blue blazes of hell! How does Kai use such a weapon, it dislocated my shoulder, AAARGH,*POP* in one shot!" Dirk stated as he pushed his arm back into place. "This weapon is unfit for a warrior of my caliber!" He yelled before giving Clementine a rough kick and sending it flying. Gaige quickly ran out and caught the rifle. She gave it a quick look over and saw it was surprisingly fine. Dirk turned back to the Leg and pulled his sword again. "So be it, will do this the old fashion way. With an honorable swing of thy sword, I shall smite thee!"

Gaige just stood dumbfounded at what Dirk just said. "You literally tried that already… TWICE!"

Dirk however didn't seem to notice her words as the Knight rushed forward to strike the leg again. The Doctor who had been pulling glass out of his face saw this and turned the Leg to face the teen. "You know Jack, I was never picked for football during recess as a kid, even when the teams were uneven! Let's see if I have any game." Dr. Lobotomous cackled. The Leg starts to levitate thanks to a set of rockets near the top and pulls back for a kick. Just as Dirk got close enough Dr. Lobotomous swings the Leg and kicks Dirk right in the midsection, sending him flying into a pile of rubble over a hundred meters away.

"Goal!" Jack hologram yells as he throws his arms up in a goal fashion.

"DIRK!" Ice, Tobias, and bloodied face Kare-Kare (who just got up) yelled in shock at the bleeding, unconscious, and possibly dead teen knight. "YOU HURT FRIEND!" Tobias yelled as he hefted and threw an explosive barrel, but it had barely made it a meter from him when a laser beam shot from one of the smaller turrets hit the barrel causing it to explode in the boy's face. Tobias was sent flying back into a support beam along the wall which shuddered and gave out causing a pile of metal and concrete to fall on him.

"So COOOOOOL!" Ice yelled as he skated forward-firing away with his pistols as Gaige yelled for him to stop. Ice raced around ducking and diving past RPG's and lasers before he jumped from a slab of a steel wall that had set up like a ramp and flew towards the cockpit firing away. But less than halfway to the plasma cannon turned and started firing rapid-fire bolts, hitting Ice's shield several times and collapsing it. One bolt tore into his left arm ripping it off, another tore through his chest, then finally one hit and melted through the left side of his face causing him to fall to the ground in a clump of burning flesh. "This… isn't… COOOOOOL!" He yells one final time before he expired.

"YOU BASTARD YOU HURT MY PRINCEY-POO!" Kare-Kare screeched as she charged at the Leg with her SMG firing away and a primed grenade in her left hand. As the leg begins to set itself for another kick.

"Lobotomus lines up the shot, can he make it folks? Here the kick!" The leg flies forward and catches Kare-Kare on the top of the foot sending her flying over a pile of rubble which ironically had a pair of steel beams sticking out like a goal post. Kare-Kare flew between the posts and behind the pile. A second later, the grenade exploded as Gaige saw a ball of fire come out from behind the pile. "And the kick is GOOOOD!" Jack yells.

Gaige looks around and suddenly realizes she and DT are the last ones standing (err, or floating). "Shit! . . It looks like it's down to you and me DT it down to you and me bud-" before she could finish DT eye started to flash as he gave a panicked warble before being forced to despawn leaving Gaige all alone. ". . . Oh no." Gaige slowly turned back to the leg which now stood facing her.

"And then there was one." Jack said as the Doctor pointed the plasma cannon at her.

"I'm gonna erase you from existence, Vault Hunter! Right down to your atoms!" The doctor maniacally laughed as the cannon began to charge. Gaige looked down at the Clementine and realized that it was the only weapon she had ammo for or would be even remotely effective against the robot leg. She shoulders the gun and fired at the cockpit, only to discover the rifle had a brutal recoil causing her shot to go wide. "Fucking Megatron!" She yelled, rubbing her now bruised shoulder. "And to think Kai spams the trigger on this thing!"

She looked at the cannon which now had a plasma charge the size of a Goliath and was still growing. Gaige gritted her teeth and shouldered the rifle again and to much pain started firing again at anything. She kept firing and had several shots hit but they did no damage real to the Leg. She kept firing until a familiar but now soul-crushing *PING* was heard as the clip ejected signaling she was out of ammo.

She lets go with her right hand to try and reload only for it to immediately go limp from the numbness and pain now coursing through her arm. It dawns on Gaige that as of that moment, she couldn't possibly reload the weapon as it required two hands to effectively reload. She looked between the rifle and the now truck size ball of energy aimed at her. "This is it, Vault Hunter! WITNESS MY GENIUS! AH HA HA HA HAAA!" Dr. Lobotomous laughed maniacally.

Gaige looked around in a desperate attempt to find anything she could use for cover, to attack with, anything to stave off the impending attack. But there was nothing, her scientific mind told her; a blast from that cannon would surely cut through the building twice over before stopping. . . She was doomed. Gaige dropped to her knees as tears started to run down her cheeks. She gripped the Clementine close to her as she wept. "I'm sorry Kai… for not listening to you." Gaige whispered as Dr. Lobotomous went to pull the trigger.

*CRASH!* "YUAAAAAAAAGH!"

X-X-X

Torgue Mini-Adventure

Chapter 5

The Torgue-anought crew were currently on the most backward space station that Billy had ever seen. From the outside, it looked like a giant horseshoe. The whole inside of the station was more like a space colony that was decorated like an old western theme complete with large deserts, dirt roads, cactuses, random tumbleweeds rolling around, and actual horses that people used to move around the massive station.

Mr. Torgue, Billy, and Remmy were walking through what looked like a desert town which was ironically called Mad Town. "So why are we here?" Billy asked as they passed the fifth gunfight since arriving at the station twenty minutes before.

"We're here for this." Mr. Torgue said pointing to a sign outside of a large wood and brick building that read Lucky Horse station's 40th annual EXTREME Unrestricted Truxican Wrestling Battle Royale, tonight. All challengers welcomed. Grand Prize 10,000,000 dollars, a 2 year supply of HeTap, and a Legendary weapon. "I heard about it on the local ECHO broadcast this morning and I have been feeling cooped up on the ship lately so I figured it be a good way to stretch our f*cking legs and fists. Plus it's been years since I've been in an unrestricted Truxican Wrestling match, so this kills two birds with one bomb."

Billy and Remmy looked at one another before looking back. "Don't you mean two birds with one stone?"

"I know what f*cking I said." He replied as he turned and entered the building.

Billy turned to the small red Boar again. "Looks like it gonna be a crazy night Remmy."

"OINK!"

An hour later a small arena was filled up with people. Billy and Remmy were both seated in a spectators section designated for Team members.

An old man in a white suit and a massive ten-gallon hat that actually looked like it could hold that much liquid got up into the arena. "Ladies and gentlemen, as your host, and the owner of this station, Jeff Horsetrader welcome to the Lucky Horse station's 40th annual EXTREME Unrestricted Truxican Wrestling Battle Royale, sponsored by HeTap. We've got a huge turn out of competitors this year who hail from here and all over. All of whom are just itching to prove themselves as the best, so let's get started. Our first match is between Fatal Fury and Mister Torgue!"

Mr. Torgue entered the ring with a large shirtless man in a black and red luchador outfit with a spiky mohawk. Both of them got to opposite corners and prepared to fight. "Alright contender ready! FIGHT!" Fatal Fury charged at Mister Torgue to tackle him.

"What the hell!? TORGUE MOVE!" Billy yelled. But Mr. Torgue just crossed his arms as Fatal Fury tackled him… And tried to move him, lift him, throw him, but nothing worked as Torgue just stood there. After about three minutes Fatal Fury was panting for air in front of Mr. Torgue, who had not moved.

"You done?" Torgue asked. The luchador nodded. "Good. Now it's my turn." Mr. Torgue kicked the man in the gut, knocking him to the ground. He then jumped back onto one of the corner posts. "DIVE BOMB HAMMER!" Torque yelled as he dove on top of the man with both knees first, which was rewarded with a sickening crunch as the man's rib cage was crushed. The referee counted to ten and called Mr. Torgue the winner.

"That was brutal!" A man next to Billy yelled. "But he won't make it through the next round."

Billy looked at the man. "Wanna bet?"

-Que Bad Reputation by Joan Jett-

Torque's next opponent was a lanky man who he quickly grabbed and started spinning like a helicopter blade before throwing him clean out of the arena. Then the scene cut to a portly man in a pink and purple superhero costume, Mr. Torgue swung the man over his shoulder by his cap onto the ring over and over.

As the matches progressed Billy was booking more and more side bets from the crowd.

Torgue continued to win match after match while expertly displaying legendary wrestling moves invented in the golden ages of wrestling. Pile-drivers, Powerbombs, Backbreakers, the Boston Crab, chokeslams, Spine Stripper, the Crowbar Chop, The Eye Bolger, the Kidney Scoop, the Vasectomy Smash, and many more. His opponents never stood a chance.

-End music-

After 18 matches Mister Torgue had finally reached the final round. "Alright everybody! It's time for the Final round, form the A bracket! Mr. TORGUE!" Jeff Horsetrader yelled as Mr. Torque waved around at everyone. "And from the B bracket, THE LONESTAR SHARK!" The spotlight lit up the opposite corner to reveal a larger shark standing on its back fins with a bolo tie around its neck.

Billy and Remmy just stared in confusion. "What?"

Mr. Torgue stared at the shark in the opposite corner. "So, what has it been, fifteen years? It was at that tournament on Vegas 21." The shark let out a growl. "I still haven't forgiven you for what you did, I still get a f*cking after taste that annoys me from time to time thanks to you."

The shark just snarled.

"Maybe… But I guess we'll never know for sure… Chump." Mr. Torque said coldly as he took a fighting stance.

"Competitors ready?" Jeff Horsetrader asked. "Aaaaand… FIGHT!" For several seconds, neither fighter moved as they stared each other down. A cold aura of killer intent seemed to surround the shark, while an aura of explosive anger enveloped Mister Torgue. Then both fighters charged at each other, yelling/roaring at one other in rage as fists and teeth launched forward to destroy their target.

x-x-x

"I still can't believe you fought a damn shark sir." Billy said 30 minutes later as he counted the massive stack of cash he had in hand, while also noting to the weight of the new 88 Fragnum pistol strapped to his new gun belt. As the group walked through the town an automated hover wagon holding a two year supply of HeTap was following them as they headed back to their ship. Mr. Torgue had several bruises and bite marks covering his body, but still had a cheeky grin on his face as he shifted his shiny new champion belt on his waist. Mr. Torgue had won the match after having one of the craziest battles and had given him the pistol since he had several already. "What the story between you two anyway, you seemed to know about each other."

"Right well back when I was growing up on Hephaestus with my grandma there was a colony of Muta-Sharks. You ever hear of them."

"Hmm, I think one of my early roommates talked about them. They are a genetically augmented breed of sharks that were bred to have a higher amount of intelligence and gills that work in water and out of water through a combination of shark and human DNA splicing. They were created about three hundred years ago to deal with an invasive case of space squid on Rozonoe 8. After that thirty year war, a new war between the Muta-Sharks and the humans there over their rights. After several years of bloody fighting, a peace agreement was reached that granted the Muta-Sharks their rights since they are technically part human." Billy stated.

"That about right, anyways a small colony of them lived off of the coast of my home town on Hephaestus. That Shark was from there, and we've always had this sort of a rivalry between us, and being on the same high school wrestling team only f*cking furthered that. Of course, it escalated about twenty years ago after he gave me a bag of chips that tasted like sh*t taco marinade in a waste treatment plant for 5 years." Torque stated which caused both Billy and Remmy to grimace at the thought.

"Your in what could basically amount to a bitter rivalry because of single bad bag of chips?" Billy asked arching one of his cartoonish eye brows.

"It left a taste in my mouth for months, plus it still comes back from time to time." Mr. Torque complained. "That guy claimed that those chips were a Muta-shark delicacy while I claim he was trying to kill me. We've had this continuous argument ever since." Mr. Torgue finished leaving his companions confused.

Billy shuke off the confusion after a few seconds. "I still can't believe you managed to suplexed a damn shark."

"HA, that nothing, you should have seen the time I Swanton Bombed a poison barbed Gorilla wearing a beer hat in a tournament on Hoton 3." Mr. Torque said excitedly leaving Billy dumb strucked.

"Wait, who was wearing the beer hat?" Billy asked.

"Well… Yes." Mr. Torgue answered as the group slowly walked off into the artificial sunset.

X-X-X

-Link Re-establish-

(Gaige) DAMMIT KILO! Another cliffhanger with my life on the line!

(Kilo8) HA, yeah, ain't I a stinker.

(Gaige) Fuck you.

(Torgue) Well, at least that wrestling arc was awesome. That was f*cking BADASS!

(Tina) YEah! That was Badass boo!

(Moxxi) It was interesting.

Everyone but Kai looked over to the barmaid in surprise.

(Tina) SEXY! What are you doing here?

(Moxxi) Kilo invited me to stick around.

(Gaige) . . . Why?

Moxxi, unashamed, lifted her skirt in front of the group.

(Moxxi) Fanservice!

Torgue and Tina both flew back as blood spurted from their noses, as Kai just facepalmed while Gaige looked on in confusion.

(Kilo) Dammit Moxxi. Firstly, you invited yourself, second… actually I don't know why you're here.

(Moxxi) I was bored, plus I'm here to make sure I get some screen time next chapter.

She whipped out Rubi, cocked the hammer, and pointed it at Kilo. "Catch my drift."

(Kilo) . . . *Sigh* Alright, I'll put you in the next chapter. Anyways onto business. As you all might be asking right now, why another cliffhanger, because screw you I can be evil when I want to be.

(Gaige) Kilo.

(Kilo) Kidding, kidding… sort of. Originally the last two chapters, this one and the next one were supposed to be just two chapters, but I had to split each one as they were just too big, so that's why there were all the sudden cliffhangers. Although it actually flows better now if I do say so. Now as for the characters, I just really wanted to take a stab and make fun of the Mary Sue character type… Or Gary Stu... Will be ripping into Dirk and his gang more later. I really don't have much issue with the character type if done right, with a few exceptions that I absolutely hate.

(Gaige) Aren't they all from that anime series Gundam Seed Destiny?

(Kilo) I don't care what those false religion fanboys say, there is no way those two idiots could survive THAT explosion at fucking point-blank range! I even had Tina and Mr. Torque run the numbers. THEY SHOULD BE DEAD!

(Moxxi) . . . Is he always like this about this show?

(Gaige) I've seen it, and he is justified with the anger. This is why you don't mix teen love dramas with giant robots… Especially Gundams, its a Super Kami Dende damned insult to the entire franchise!… Kilo, can we get moving again?

(Kilo) Hmm? Oh! Sorry about that… Moving on from my disdain, I will go ahead and tell you that you will not have to worry, the next chapter will be the last one of this arc, and it should be a very satisfying chapter in so many ways.

(Moxxi) Ooooh, kinky~.

(Gaige) . . . I'm starting to remember why you don't invite her.

(Kilo) Just ignore it. While today we don't have a Q&A we did have a review from PanzerKampfWagonJager making two predictions as to possible outcomes. I like to congratulate you on your effort and would like to tell you that both opinions are sort of right and sort of wrong. I'll say you're still missing a few pieces but not bad guesses, it honestly surprised me how close you came. But as for what will happen... well you'll have to wait till the next chapter.

Well that it for this chapter the only other note is there is a new RA Loot Guide after this for the Commerce Beta, so check that out. Anyways, remember to leave a review and feel free to ask any questions. So till next time, Kilo8, out! Gaige hit the button.

*WHAM!*

(Kilo) Thank you Gaige. Now we should probably do something about these perves… Which reminds me, Moxxi, why are you not wearing underwear?

(Moxxi) Wouldn't you like to know, sugar.

(Gaige) Are all of our shows going to like this for now on?

(Kilo) Who knows. Now if you excuse me I still need to add Moxxi part for the next chapter. As well as fix that part in where the fifty-foot tall bandit queen come out to attack the gang only for Kai to show up with Thor's hammer which he uses to have Hati turn into Godzilla to fight it, while Gaige has a samurai-style dual against Handsome Jack over an active acid volcano for last Kit-Kat bar in existence.

(Gaige) Are you still gonna have DT turn into the OG Megazord and fight Megatron?

(Kilo) Better, DT will become the DragonZord and fight against a Skynet controlled Mazinger Z.

(Gaige) Ooow, I like it!

(Kilo) I haven't even gotten to the big reveal of Axton's secret love triangle between Tanis and Captain Scarlett!

(Moxxi) Hey is that light supposed to be on?

. . .

(Gaige) Fuck that damn button again.

(Kilo) Well, we just ruined part of the next chapter. I'll start rewriting it after I drag these two to the med bay. . . Fuck it gonna take me months to rewrite this. Gaige.

(Gaige) Yeah, yeah, I got it. *Chu-chink. BANG! BANG!*

*BZZZZZZT*

-ECHO Review Log Terminated-

RA Loot Guide

Name: Commerce Beta

Manufacturer: Hyperion

Weapon type: SMG

Weapon Grade: Unique/Very Rare

Flavor Text: I have a wolf, a killer robot, two pissed off teens, and an extra power core for once.

Description: A modified variant of the Commerce SMG that has been upgraded on the principle that, a gun with as shocking of a weapon skin as that should do something equally shocking, as stated by the one who upgraded the weapon. The weapon was given the ability to fire an overcharged round every fifth shot. This round will deal the normal amount of damage while also adding an equivalent extra 50% shock damage. This can be seen as every fifth round will have a blue vapor trail and the projectile tracer is brighter than normal. The drawback to this is that the weapon's reverse recoil takes longer to fully kick in, leading to several more than normal stray shots.

Stats:

Damage: 5393

Accuracy: 94.2

Fire Rate: 8.4

Reload Speed: 2.3

Magazine Size: 35

Electrocute Dmg/Sec: 3887

Chance to shock: 12.3%

Bonus: 50% shock Damage increased for every fifth bullet.