Rebel Anarchy

by Kilo8

With no one left and no place to call home, the last surviving rebel fighter from a ruined world begins his journey to avenge his planet and comrades; to Pandora: where he plans to hunt down the leadership of Hyperion, the cause of his misfortune. However, he and the rest of Pandora will soon be thrown into a storm of anarchy when a certain redhead and her robot show up.

23. Chapter 23 Fortunate Hunter

-TRANSMISSION ONLINE-

-Beginning ECHO Review Log-

(Kilo) Welcome back everyone to the final chapter of the Rising Action arc or as many would say the halfway point of BL2's campaign.

Yeaaaaa!

(Kilo) This particular chapter has been a long time in the making and I'm excited to see it finally come to fruition! We got monsters, robots, guns, suprises, loot, and explosions.

(Torgue) WAHOO! EXPLOSIONS!

(Tina) TINA WANTS BOOM!

(Kilo) We've also e passed the 75,000 view mark since last chapter!

(Gaige) Wow! That's a lot!

(Kilo) Now as per usual, please stick around at the end for news and responses to previous reviews. If you don't want to stick around then I atleast ask for you to leave a review And of course if you're interested in contributing and helping please join our Discord server the SOL II.

HT TP (Colon Double-slash) discord . gg / R2rKhZr6

(Kilo) Now please sit back, buckle up and get ready for a wildride! TOO THE MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER!

-ECHO Transmission interrupted-

Disclaimer: I do not own Borderlands or any of its characters, Borderlands is owned by Gearbox Software and 2K Games, the only ownership I claim is of my own OC's. This is a story just for your fun and enjoyment. Please enjoy.

X-X-X

Stories text formats

"Talking"

'Thinking'

"Echo/Radio"

'Krieg's inner voice'

X-X-X

Chapter 23

Fortunate Hunters

Mancubus looked over the newest additions to his collection with scrupulous eyes, three large black pearls that would glint blood-red when the morning light shone through the windows of the Lodge. The first two were just smaller than a large marble while the last one was the size of a golfball. "I must say… You three have exceeded our agreement and all of my… expectations. Honestly, I wouldn't have even questioned if you had taken two of these marvelous specimens for yourselves, but you have fulfilled our agreement… And then some." He said as he eyed the crew who looked like they had gone through a blender. Torgue had several teeth still sticking out of his right arm with several slash marks on his chest. Billy had a nasty gash on his left leg with dried blood around it and several spots on his suit that looked burned from acid. Finally, Remmy, who was tiredly slumped on top of Billy's costume, had a new cut over his left eye that would likely leave a scar, but he was lucky that the Nouthrax had missed his eye.

"I tell you right now, it wasn't by f8cking choice." Torgue said.

"So many teeth, so many tentacles." Billy muttered as Remmy oinked in agreement.

"Seriously, how's a c*ck ugly and vicious creature like that not more widely known?"

"While science and culture have progressed over the millenniums of human history, there are many things that still elude the general knowledge of the known universe. Somethings to an almost… Eldritch sense." Mancubus said as he pulled out a cloth and gently picked up one of the smaller pearls. "Now then as promised the new drive is yours, and I have already taken the liberty to move the drive to your truck's hanger. You will also find the snow globe there. Also, seeing as you've brought me an extra pearl I welcome you to stay here at the Lodge in the future if you ever need a place to rest… Free of charge. . . Of course, food and drinks will still be charged."

"Understandable. However, don't you mean extra and no an extra pearl?" Billy asked, making Torgue roll his eyes behind his shades.

"I know what I said, my dear new friends." Mancubus said as he held out the pearl in his hand. "A token of my appreciation… for your efforts." He said as Billy gently accepted the pearl and cloth it rested in.

"I don't… Mancubus, are… Are you sure?"

"Now now, I just needed one pearl, but you brought me three pearls, each of record size." He said, gesturing to the other two. These two pearls are more than I could have hoped for from this venture."

"What's the value of it?" Torgue asked.

"Well, a normal pearl at that size would be worth about five million."

"FIVE MILLION!?" They both yelled as Remmy let out his own squeal of surprise.

"But a blood pearl of this size… about thirty to forty million.

"Fo- fo- Forty million!?" Billy stuttered as his costume's eyes widen.

"While valuable in a monetary sense, that pearl is more valuable as a resource… It would be wise to hold on to it." Mancubus said.

"I- I understand. Thank you." Billy said as weakly as he wrapped the pearl in the cloth.

"While I must say you are one of the oddest individuals I have ever f*cking met, no offense."

"None taken, most call me much worse for my… Demeanor."

"Not helping your case. But you have been nothing but an outstanding and reasonable man, and I f*cking respect that."

"Thank you sir. Will there be anything else you need?"

"Nope."

"Then I believe our business is done and this is where we part." Mancubus said as he walked them to the door and held it open for them.

"Thanks for everything Mancubus." Mister Torgue said.

"It was my pleasure. And remember." He said as they walked down the stairs. "Wherever you may be, the Lodge is always open to those in need."

Billy stop in his tracks as he processed what Mancubus said. "Wait a second, what do you mean by wherever you may… Be?"

Torgue quickly noticed Billy wasn't following him and turned around. "Hey Billy, what's the hoooold the f*ckup?"

Where the Lodge had been was now an abandoned dirt field with several shuttle and old starfighter wrecks. "Did, did we dream that?" Torgue asked.

Billy took out the cloth and quickly opened it to again reveal the pearl, before looking back to the lot. "I… I think we should just fucking go. This town is weird enough."

Several hours later the gang had the new drive installed and to Billy's delight, it hummed like a symphony orchestra and roared like a Kaiju going to war. Once they sealed everything up they took up their seats in the cab. Torgue performed the final touch and placed the big bang globe as he called it in a special housing on the left of the dash so it wouldn't move.

"Well, time to make space tracks." Torgue said as he powered up the main engine. "Hope this new drive works."

"I did a static test as you were pulling the old housing, it checked out. Although I should warn you, supposedly, the first time you go into hyperspace with a Warlock, it gives the rider a kick."

"Eh, I can handle it. Besides, it's one jump, from here to Pandora." Torgue said as he throttled the engine and blasted out of the atmosphere. Once they were far enough away, Billy brought the hyperdrive online.

"Drive is charged, coordinates set and locked. We're clear to jump."

"THEN HANG ON!" Torgue said before he throttled the drive. There was a massive boom in front of the ship as it was jarringly pulled into a swirling tunnel of stars and colors. Remmy flew past Torgue and Billy as he slammed into the cockpit hatch as the others were plastered to their seats. "BILLY! WHAT IS F*CKING HAPPENING!* Torgue yelled feeling his face stretching.

"It's the kick! I can't reach the controls! Will have to hang on!" He struggled to say as they barreled uncontrollably through hyperspace.

X-X-X

After several hours of walking the Vault Hunters finally made it to the end of the tunnel to find themselves in rocky hills and green grass, which was more than the usual places around Pandora. "Finally daylight!" Gaige cried in relief.

Well, it's more moonlight than anything else right now." Maya noted as the glow of the moon was bathing the jagged mountains in the distance.

"Damn, now that a sight." Gaige muttered.

Could do without the Hyperion buildings." Axton muttered pointing out some yellow Hyperion buildings in the distance.

Before anyone could retort a massive purple flash appeared above the Highlands as Sanctuary flashed back into existence. A few seconds later a loud boom could be heard as the gang was hit by a shockwave that nearly knocked them over.

"Damn, what an entrance." Salvador said as everyone dusted themselves off.

"Annnnd... I'm awesome." Came a familiar voice over the ECHO.

"Lil, is that you?" Maya asked over her ECHO.

"Hey, killers. Just phased the city. No big deal. Just took an hour to move that much mass."

"Uuuh, Lil, it's been nearly a day since you disappeared." Gaige interjected.

The was a silence on the other end of the line for several seconds. "Wait, you serious?"

"Considering we had to travel to the Fridge, which is a big ass bandit city now BTW. Fight a bunch of B-grade comic book villains, got saved by a talking Bullymong who let us crash at his place, fought the villains again, and spent the last three hours walking through a dark cold cave after escaping a toilet-themed bandit, then yeah, I say we know how long you've been gone for. Oh and I almost forgot, after an argument and misunderstanding, Kai drove off in a fit of anger for who knows where." Gaige said with all the snark only a teenager could muster.

". . . Okay, obviously we need to compare some notes." A crash could be heard in the background as Lilith let out a sigh. "It's a mess up here so we can talk later, find a way back here as quickly as you can. Lilith out."

"Okay, how the hell do we do that?" Salvador asked.

"Now that Sanctuary's reappeared, you can use any fast-travel station to get back to the Crimson Raiders." Angel said.

"Okay, and where are we supposed to find a Fast Travel out here?" Maya asked.

"There's one." Salvador said pointing to a nearby shack with a Hyperion Fast Travel and New-U station.

"Well, that's convenient." Gaige said as they all walked over. Axton pulled up the fast Travel list and punched in the address to Sanctuary, hitting go when finished, after a few seconds a beep was heard as an error icon appeared.

"Error. Location [Sanctuary] not found." Came a female digital voice.

"Oh, no." Angel muttered. "The phase blast must have taken Sanctuary off the Fast-Travel network."

"Well, that's just great. How the hell are we supposed to get back to Sanctuary then Angel?" Axton asked.

"Uh... okay. There's an Eridium Extraction Plant nearby, head to it. I think I know how to get you back to your friends." Angel said. "Oh, and watch out for the Stalkers."

"What's a Stalker?" Gaige asked only to hear a growl behind them. The gang spun around with weapons drawn only to find nothing.

"You guys heard that too, right." Salvador asked getting a nod from Zer0.

Gaige heard something behind her and looked to find nothing again. "What the-" she was cut off when a reptilian creature seemed to shimmer into existence and let out a roar into her face. "WHAT THE FUCK!?"Gaige screamed as she jumped back. The others whipped around and quickly began to fire at the creature, a shield appeared around the animal but was quickly overpowered and gunned down in a hail of lead.

They all looked over the creature to see it had four legs with wing-like membranes on its forelegs. A long tail with several large boney spikes sticking from it, and an odd angler head that seemed almost upside down as the eyes were on the lower part of the jaw.

"Th-there was nothing there, and then it was! And did you see it, it had a shield-like our!?" Gaige yelled in panic.

"Huh, so that explains the sign warning about invisible assholes." Axton said as he nudged the stalker's head with his boot.

"Let's just hope we don't run into any more of them." Salvador said before a bone spike lodged itself in the pole next to him. Everyone looks to see about a dozen more stalkers of various sizes and colors materialize into sight.

"Dammit Sal!" Gaige screamed as she pulled out her Dog shotgun. "You just had to say it!"

After about an hour of fighting several dozen invisible assholes, entering the refinery, and fighting off several dozen Loader bots the gang had gotten to a draw bridge to get to a moonshot receiving area Angel directed them to. However, a Loader Bot called an EXP Loader ran over and blew up the controls, locking the bridge in the up position. It took the gang some time to find a cargo crane that they rode on to get to the other side. Once they got to the gate to the drop site they were ambushed by a Constructor which the team took care of in a few minutes. Now with torn and disheveled cloths, cuts, scrapes, burns, and bite marks with teeth still stuck in the wounds, they found themselves walking between haphazardly set moonshot pods and several small warehouses as they trekked to the spot Angel had marked on their HUDs.

"Alright Angel, explain why we're in an area where we could get crushed by a falling moonshot pod?" Axton asked.

"You'll need to steal a lunar supply beacon which will need to call the moon base and have them send you an uncalibrated fast-travel unit. You can use that to get Sanctuary back on the fast-travel network." Angel stated.

"Sounds simple enough." Maya said.

"Yes, simple. Except not at all." Angel said as they came around a corner and saw the beacon in the middle of a field. Just then a moonshot crashed into the ground and slid about fifty meters till it came to a stop, leaving a fresh muddy trench in the field.

"Soooo… who's going to run out to grab the heavy ass beacon while dodging cargo containers landing at terminal velocity?" Gaige asked.

It was silent for several seconds until Axton spoke up. "Alright, will do this democratically. . . Onetwothree, NOT IT!"

"NOT IT!"

"SHIT GAS!

"NOT IT!"

"NOT IT!"

"NOT IT! . . . Fuck!" Salvador cursed as he was the last one. "Can't believe I lost to the haiku ninja." Salvador muttered as he glared at Zer0 whose visor lit up with a classic tongue sticking out emoji. "Whatever." Salvador muttered as he got ready to sprint for the beacon. Just before he could run the ground began to rumble.

"Is that Jack again." Maya asked. Before anyone could answer a massive mustard-colored worm with several tentacles protruding from its neck and blue glowing marks on its body burst from the ground and quickly swallowed the beacon before diving back underground.

No one said anything for several seconds as they stared at the hole. "Did that thresher just eat the beacon?" Angel asked.

"Yes, yes it did." Gaige said shakily.

"I'm sure we didn't need that exact beacon. I mean there's probably a backup stored somewhere around here… right Angel?" Maya asked hopefully.

"Uh... you'll need to get that back."

". . . Aaaw crapbaskets." Maya muttered as the large thresher popped erupted from the ground again, only this time the glowing visage of a shield could be seen around its body. "And now it has a shield. Yay, so great… Sal, you're the native, what do you know about Threshers?"

"Not that much, there an invasa, invesa… What's the word?"

"Invasive?"

That's it, they're an invasive species from Elpis." Salvador said, jabbing a thumb towards the ever-present moon. "They appeared several years ago and have been a son una maldito molestia! They can burrow underground, shoot barbs and have really strong tentacles that can crush things. Gusano de mierda." Salvador mutters as he turns to the others, only then to notice something. "Oh great, looks like we lost Gaige again."

The others looked to the redhead and saw her rooted to the spot with a look of absolute fear on her face. "Crap, looks like her plokámiphobia has kicked in again." Axton cursed as he remembered the little fact they had learned about her. Back during their second day on the southern shelf thry spent together, they discovered that Gaige had an extreme fear of tentacles thanks to seeing a particularly infamous horror movie when she was little. As this happened several Loader bots were deployed from the spawn stations or came from where they were working to converge on the Thresher.

"Here's an idea, why don't we just let the Loaders do the work for us." Maya stated as several Loader began to fire on the creature. As if to spite her, several tentacles sprout from the earth and wrapped around a few of the bots, lifting them off the ground. After several seconds of squeezing the groans of metal could be heard before the bots were all crushed.

"What part of strong tentacles did you not understand!?" Salvador said as he spawned a Maliwan shock rocket launcher. "Everyone gear up, we got a worm to kill."

"And Gaige?" Maya asked.

Salvador looked at the petrified teen for several seconds before letting out a sigh. "We're on a concrete base and the worm is more focused on the landing area. She should be safe here. . . Buuut." Salvador grabbed the Sabre turret box on Axtons belt to his protest and deployed it on a crate. "That should cover her from any loaders, now come on!" He yelled, leading the charge.

Quickly each of the vault Hunters jumped in and began assaulting the massive Thresher with everything they had. Maya would hit it with Phaselocks that, while didn't trap the creature did damage its shield. Salvador was firing away with his rocket at the main body while keeping a Tediore shotgun out for any tentacles that came close to him.

Axton, being down his turret teamed up with Zer0 and had a Dahl sniper out which he used against both the Loaders and the Thresher. Krieg stuck to smashing any Loaders and slicing any tentacles that he could get close to. This continued for several minutes as the Vault Hunters quickly noted an issue. "Electric boogaloo is bleeding the energizer bun bun!" Krieg yelled as he jumped over a clawed tentacle that swiped at him.

"Maya, what did he say?" Axton yelled.

"I think he said that the Thresher is charging itself off of the beacon's battery, it would explain why its shield is recharging so fast." Maya said as she phaselocked a Loader only to fling it at high speed into a nearby container with a flick of her wrist.

"It doesn't help that the maldito gusano keeps diving underground every minute when we do get it low. Why the hell is this so hard?" Salvador yelled.

"Usually we have Kai deal with the heavy shields with Hati and/or Gaige uses DT and one of her shock weapons." Axton shouts as he pulls a Jakob revolver out in his left hand. "Zer0 DUCK!" The assassin does as told as a PWR loader nearly takes his head off with a claw swipe. Axton takes the opening and puts five shots into the bot's single eye, knocking it back. Zer0 looked to him and gave a nod in thanks.

"How does this thing even have a shield!?" Salvador yelled.

"I suspect that it must have eaten someone with a sheild… Or two, and now the beacon's EM field is powering them." Angel stated.

"So like the Matchbox fight then." Axton yelled.

"Any ideas on how to deal with it then?" Maya yelled.

"At this point, all we can do is just keep shooting!" Salvador yelled as he finished loading his launcher again. "Last rocket mag!" He yelled and began firing off rockets at the creature.

While this was all happening Gaige was having a fear-induced mental breakdown. 'Oh sweet merciful Holy Robot Policeman why does it have to be sick slimy disgusting tentacles, I don't want to see them hear them feel them just no no no no. No bad touch no bad touch no fucking bad touch! I don't want to be the stupid throwaway cheerleader character in this horror story!'

As she was having her mental meltdown she didn't notice as a single tentacle wrapped around Axton's turret and crushing it. It slowly slithers around, feeling for prey until it bumped up against Gaige's leg. Gaige flinched at the sudden bump, slow she turned to see a clawed tentacle reeling back to strike. Gaige let out a scream as she threw her arms up in a panic, as the tentacle shot forward. However, it suddenly hit something with a ringing *thunk* as DT digistructed in front of Gaige. Seeing the threat, Deathtrap immediately slashed the offending appendage, slicing it in two and leaving a spatter of green blood over the pavement.

The remaining stump of the appendage was quickly pulled back and out of sight.

"THATS RIGHT YOU BETTER RUN SLIME'O!" DT worbled out. He turned and looked at his maker/mother to see she was still petrified and hyperventilating. DT looked out from their cover to the others. It was obvious that they were struggling with the creature as it was now throwing Salvador around while Krieg was chasing after him yelling about fava beans. With a look back to Gaige he sighed and spoke. "Mom, please stay here, your boy is going to go make some calamari." With a thrum of his gravity drive DT rushed out of the cover in a burst of speed, surprising the other Vault Hunters as he flew towards the worm.

The Thresher turned towards the noise as DT shoulder checked the worm's head, knocking the creature over. "Alright bitch, let's tango." DT said before letting loose a lightning eye that sent a stream of electricity arching over the Thresher's shield. DT then looked around at the other Vault Hunters who were all just staring and shouted. "Don't just stand there, kill it!" While they didn't understand the robot they picked up the intent as all the Vault Hunters once again fired on the worm with renewed vigor. The Thresher though kept its focus on DT as it realized that he was the greatest threat. Using it tentacles it picked up several broken and one still functional Loaders and threw them at DT.

"Warning, unauthorized flight detecte-" DT slashed the Loader in two and quickly rushed in again to make several quick strikes into thew worm sides. It bellowed in anger and attempted to strike DT with larger tentacle, which he dodged only to have another one smash into him. "Ugh, you Murphy damn bitch!" DT yelled as he let loose another lightning eye. The worm roars as it attempted to turn and jump back into the ground only for an explosion to go off distracting it, followed by a dozen small explosions.

"Eat grenades punta!" Sal yelled as he threw another two MIRV grenades, while Maya pulled out her own.

"Don't let it go underground." Maya said.

The Thresher attempted to move at them only to feel something grab the end of one of it's under chin tentacles. It turned to see Krieg pulling the tentacle back, stretching it out across the field. ORDER UP SPAGHETTI MAN!" As if on cue, Zer0 appears from his cloak and slashes the tentacle, making the Thresher roar in pain. In its moment of distraction DT fires another lightning blast that danced over it shield as Salvador, Axton, and Maya all opened fired with any shock weapons they had. The combined fire overloaded the creature's shield which shattered in a flash of light particals.

"Get rekted!" DT yelled as he took immediate advantage of the worm's lack of defenses, he rushed in and slashed his claws into the left side of the worm's face, leaving a large open cut. The Gluttonous Thresher roared as and wildly began shooting spikes at him. DT dodged and fired an incendiary laser from his eye, carving into the creature's skin and setting it aflame. It screamed in pain and anger before sending several of its smaller remaining tentacles at DT who began slicing and dicing them like wet ramen noodles. The Thresher looked at its butchered tentacles and screamed as DT flew in. "Still hungry, then chew on this asshole!" DT yelled as he raised his hands and clapped them in front the creature's face causing an explosion to erupt, clouding both DT and the Threasher's head. After several seconds the smoke cleared revealing DT floating in front of a half blow-off Threasher's head. It wavered a little bit before finally letting out a groan of pain and falling forward with an earth shacking thud.

DT stared at the corpse for several seconds until he floated over next to the midsection. He fired his laser at it, creating an incision before stopping and shoving his left arm in. After several seconds of rooting around, he pulled the beacon out as Axton, Krieg, and Zer0 walked over. "Nice job Deathtrap." Axton said.

"Thanks" DT said in his normal warble to everyone else before handing the beacon to Krieg and floated off to where Gaige was. He found Maya and Salvador checking on her, and noted she was still in a daze.

Maya then noticed the robot. "Do you have any way of snapping her out of her shock?" she asked DT. He stared at Gaige for several seconds until a slot on his left side popped out a metal mug. Another slot opened up on his chest with a nozzle that came out and began dispensing a steaming brown liquid into it. DT then held the steaming mug under Gaige's nose. At first, Gaige didn't show any reaction to the brew until she suddenly began to sniff the air several times.

In a flash of motion, she suddenly grabbed the mug and quickly downed the drink. When she finished she let out a sigh of satisfaction before handing DT the mug. "Damn that's good cocoa." Gaige says before looking around. "What happened… Also, when did you get a cocoa dispenser? I built you and I know I didn't put one in." DT pulled a small note from the compartment he had put the mug back in and handed it to Gaige.

Gaige opened the note and read it out loud. "Gaige, while you were getting your stuff together for your grand escape we took the liberty of installing a hot cocoa maker into DT for you. We figure you could us a little piece of home when you get homesick. Love Mom and Dad. P S, We didn't have time to add the mini marshmallow injector, sorry." Gaige looked at DT with a quirked eyebrow. "Seriously D, you had a cocoa maker all this time and didn't tell me!? DT why?"

DT just floated there for a second until he shrugged and decompiled into a cloud of particles. "Seriously." Gaige said with a pout. She then looked to the others. "So what did I miss."

"Well you're Battle Bot beat the mierda out of that worm."

Gaige blinked at that. "He did what?"

X-X-X

The siege on Tina's home had been going on for well over two hours now. Early on they had several close calls as the bandits had tried to land troops on the top of the mountain with Buzzards for a roof entry. Luckily between Mordecai's sniping skills and Kai's access to nearly unlimited rockets thanks to Tina running back and forth between the lookout and the ammo vendor in her workshop they were able to repel the attack. Next, the bandits brought a heavy mobile mining drill from the nearby Eridium mine to try and burrow in through the mountainside. With Tina's quick thinking the three defenders built and rolled several remote barrel bombs off the side of the lookout perch which rolled down and hit the drill, putting that idea out of commission. Now they were attacking the gate again, only this time, they were using a combination of Nomads armed with flamethrowers to heat the door, then pulling them back to hit it with rocket fire for several minutes. The frightening part was that it was actually working from what they could see on a security camera. While it was agonizingly slow the door was slowly giving out at one spot. With not much to do, Kai and Mordecai set several traps just inside to try and stem the impending rush of maniacs as Tina was gathering her gear and stuff for their hopeful rescue.

"Okay, that's the last mine I got." Kai said. As he placed the last of his Bearclaw mines.

"Same, any word on our rescue?" Mordecai asked.

"I haven't heard anything since that message Loggins sent stating his ETA was just over an hour." Kai said just before another loud *THWUM!* impacted the door, causing the metal to buckle inwards some.

"Well, either way, we're out of time. Let's get up top." Morde said The two Vault Hunters rushed to the door up to the lockout. "Alright Tina, let go." Morde said to the girl who had been waiting with a knapsack on her back and a pink suitcase next to her which the Hunter grabbed.

They were halfway down the hall to the ladder when Tina suddenly froze in her tracks. "OH CRAP!" Tina yelled as she turned and ducked under Kai's legs and ran back down the hall.

"TINA! Where are going!" Kai yelled as he and Mordecai charged after the girl.

When they got through, they saw Tina by the large metal silo hatch opening a panel on the rim. "I'll get her, you cover." Kai told Mordecai as another loud *THWAM* hit the door. Kai jumped over the rail and ran to Tina. "Tina! We got to go! Whatever it is it can't be as important as your life.

"Not unless you want all of those bandits to have to access all my bombs! If they get them even Jack will be hard-pressed to keep Pandora with how Bandits use them."

Kai just paled at the comment. "How much ammo do you- You know what I don't care, how long?"

"Just need five minutes."

*BOOM!* They turned to see a hole in the door just big enough for a person or two to get through.

"TIME FOR THE BUTT SPELUNKING!" Yelled a Psycho that ran through the hole in the door followed by several more.

"Tina, you have one." Kai said as he deployed Hati and pulled out a Vladof Spingun. Quickly he rushed and slid to a barricade they had built earlier and started spraying the door with concentrated fire.

Mordecai quickly began to dispatch several of the psychos that had rushed in with well-placed fire. Hati meanwhile was dealing with the few that he missed and had tore into them with teeth in claws. "I WANT TO PET THE DOGGO!" A Psycho yelled as he pulled two grenades and activated them before rushing at the wolf. Hati just rolled his eyes before firing a small Mjölnir that put a hole in the psycho's chest, stopping him in his track as he looked at it. "LOOK MOMMY YOU CAN SEE ALL THE WAY TO CHINA!" He yelled before the grenades exploded. "Idiot." Hati muttered.

Kai had just gunned down another psycho when several lanky-looking guys with battered clothes, and old gasmasks came into the room. "Ssssslice them open, ratsssss!"

Aww fuck, they brought Rats. MORDE, DOOR! I got these mutants. Kai yelled switching to the Fast Talker and pulling out the Teapot. "Glad I swapped to the fire barrel." Kai said as he fired at two separate rats filling one with lead that ignited him in a ball of flames and the other in the face causing his mask to melt from the rat's head. A third one came in with a crowbar and tried to smack him, but Kai rolled left. He brought the Teapot up and put two shots into the rats head before turning and firing both weapons into a fourth one who looked to be about to throw a dagger. A cry of pain came from behind, Kai whipped around with weapons up to find a rat with it right arm ripped off by Hati.

"The food killed me!" The rat cried before Hati spit out the arm and used one of his newer move. An icicle-like bolt the size of a rail spike flew from his mouth and executed the rat with a headshot.

"Thanks buddy." Kai said to the wolf who gave out a set of barks. "It does seem like íss Rage is working well now, we just need to work on accuracy at range."

"Annnnnd DONE!" Tina yelled as she slammed the hatch shut. "ALRIGHT BITCHES! LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Kai turned to tell her to retreat when a cry of panic could be heard near the breach, Kai looked back just in time to see an explosion blast the hole.

*COUGH, COUGH* What the fuck?" Kai looked up and blanched in shock. The door had been blown even wider and a massive Nomad in hazard orange walked in with a heavy armored shield that looked like it was ripped off the front of a tank. Propped on his shoulder was a combined rocket launcher set in a triangle with a Torgue launcher at the bottom, a Maliwan slag launcher to the top left, and a Bandit launcher to the right. To finish off the look the Nomad had on an old Football Helmet with a plastic gold crown glued on top.

"HAIL TO THE KING! KNEEL BEFORE BOOM DADDY!" The nomad bellowed.

Kai gawked at the sight for several seconds. ". . . Nope." He said before turning and bolting away with Hati following.

"GET BACK HERE TARGET!" Boom Daddy yelled as he fired off a set of rockets that flew wildly around the cave. Kai quickly caught up to Tina and grabbed her by the knapsack and carried her as rockets flew by. Tina pulled out a Tediore pistol and started firing behind them wildly, while Mordecai was firing off shots as fast as he could from a Dahl incendiary sniper rifle.

"HATI! BLOOD! COVER!" Kai yelled as he got to the stairs. Hati fired shot after shot of íss Rage making the nomad duck behind his shield while with a shriek Bloodwing flew forward after the new Psycho's and bandits charging in. Using her razor-like talons and wings Bloodwing raced between the bandits, slicing arms, chests, and even whole heads off. As this occurred Kai tossed Tina up to Mordecai who yelled for her to get up to the lookout as Kai jump up and grabbed the railing to pull himself up.

"LET'S GO BLOOD!" Mordecai yelled as he pulled Kai over the rail.

"HATI, RETURN." Kai yelled.

Bloodwing flew back as Hati just turned off the hologram and had the sphere teleport back to his charger. All the while Kai and Mordecai moved back to the door. "BIG BOY! STOP THEM!" BOOM DADDY yelled. A Badass Psycho in green and blue suspenders with a multi-colored beanie hat charged for them at an alarming speed. "Here it comes, BIG BOY!" He yelled as the Vault Hunters get to the door.

"Move it MOVE IT! Mordecai yells before Kai rushes through. Immediately the sniper slams that door shut and throws a lock bar in place just as Big Boy slammed headlong into it and began yelling in anger as he pounded the door.

"Come back! My teeth desire your intestines, doc says I need flossing!" Mordecai and Kai rush down the hall and up the mess of ladders, stairs, and climbing ropes that filled the shaft. Halfway up they heard an explosion signifying the door had been breached. They could hear the bandits coming into the shaft just as they reached the hatch at the top where Tina was waiting.

"Come on, come on COME OOON! MOVE YOUR ASSES LADIES!" Tina yelled as the two Vault Hunters rushed up the ladder. Mordecai was the last one in the shaft when BIG BOY bashed through the door at the bottom and immediately scrambled up the ladder hot on his tail.

COME ON!" Kai yelled as Bloodwing flew out past him. As Mordecai got to the top Kai reached in and grabbed the man by his shirt and helped to pull him out.

As soon as they were clear Tina hefted a large bundle of grenades that looked to be several MIRV, Incendiaries, and singularity grenades all tied together with painter's tape, barbed wire, and dental floss. "ORDER UP!" The bomb maker yelled before dunking the device into the hole and immediately slamming the hatch shut. On the other side, they heard several dozen small explosions going off, followed by screaming and metal falling. "That should hold for a little bit. But I used all but three of my grenades for that thing." Tina said pointing to her now-empty suitcase.

Morde looked over the edge. "I don't think that gonna be enough."

The teens looked over and realized what he meant. Hundreds of psychos and bandits were slowly climbing the side of the mountain. Each one hootin and hollerin about killing or eating them. "Well fuck nuggets." Tina said as she pulled out a pair of assault rifle scopes that had been taped together to make binoculars.

"How much ammo do we have?"

"Not enough." Kai said.

"That's not the worst of it. They got another Buzzard, and it's a big one." Tina yelled pointing to the sky. Sure enough, they looked to see a single aircraft flying toward them, but it was different from a buzzard.

"That's no Buzzard! THAT LOGGINS!"

Dangerzone,

by Kenny Loggins

A catchy 80's rock song blasted from a twin-rotor aircraft that flew towards them. The frame was painted a ghost grey with a painting of a massive black bird on its side with a small Bandit Buzzard in its talons. Underneath the words Vengeful Vulture painted in blood-red letters. Mounted on the side wings were a pair of 70mm rocket pods

"TIME TO LITE THE FIRE!" Loggins yelled as he dove the aircraft down and stratifed one side of the mountain with rockets. Bandits in its sights were quickly blown to bits as the rockets took chunks out of the rock face with several dozen more crushed by the processing rock slide.

"THAT'S SO COOL! GO LOGGINS!" Tina yelled as Loggins pulled up from his attack and ran into a steep climb.

"Like a leaf on the wind." The former bandit pilot said as he banked the dropship into the aerial equivalent of a banking turn and dove once again. Bandits on the other side of the mountain began trying to run away as Loggins unleashed another hail of rockets on them. "EAT IT FUME SNIFFERS!" Loggins yelled in victory. He quickly pulled the aircraft around and pulled close to the platform. "All passengers we are now boarding!" He yelled over the rotor wash.

*BANG* The roof hatch was blown clean off its hinges and immediately several Psychos tried to rush out. "LET'S GO!" Kai yelled as the three quickly jumped onto the gunship. Without a moment to spare Loggin pulled away just as three Psycho's jumped for them. Two fell to their demise while the third managed to just barely grab onto the landing skid. He gave a yell of triumph as he lifted himself up, until a small foot kicked him in the face.

"NO! FREE! RIDES! HOMEWRECKER!" Tina yelled before kicking the psycho in the face one final time, knocking him off the ship.

With them out of danger Mordecai and Kai each let out a sigh of relief. "God damn, that was close." Morde said.

"Tell me about it. Tina, what was so important that you had to almost get us killed by going back?"

"I had to rig my boobytrap… Haha, Booby."

"Which is?" Kai asked.

-Sence changed to Tina's Cave-

"I rigged up all of the bombs in my cave to go off in five minutes." Tina said as a bandit worked on the panel Tina had set the trap from. "It'll probably wreck everything in the cave but I'll be able to rebuild."

"What if they find the panel and somehow disarm the trap." Kai asked as the bandit pulled off a covering and noted several exposed wires with a countdown timer reading a minute.

"Well then fuck that ass hole for all the trouble he's caused me." Tina said as the bandit cut through several wires in sequence.

"Why?" Mordecai asked as the bandit looked betweenthe last two wires, a blue wire with sparkles and pink wire with white pokadots, trying to decide which one to cut.

"Because if some bandit does manage to figure out my spectacular setup and disarm it, it will initiate the backup self-destruct." Tina yelled as the bandit cut the pink wire causing the timer to freeze at fifteen seconds.

"What's the difference?" Kai asked as the bandit gave BOOM DADDY a thumbs up before the sound of metal locks disengaging could be heard in the cave, confusing them all.

"The first one would detonate all the bombs in the main cavern. The backup will blow up everything including the Rancid Vault."

"Wait, that blast door on the floor? That's the Rancid vault!?" Mordecai said in panic.

"The what?" Kai asked. Red warning lights started to flash throughout the cave as the doors on the ground began to retract.

"The Rancid vault, a crimson Lance munition dump filled with ammo, bombs, missiles, fuel and all kinds of sharp and pointy things!" Tina said gleefully.

Boom Daddy and all of the bandits looked into the open door and paled at what they saw. There where hundreds of Anti-ship mines, stacked pallets of ammo, containers with Torgue and Tediore labels on them, several cretes labelled sharp and pointy shit, racks of bombs ranging from dumb to high yeild plasma charges, and at the center of it all a massive missile painted a crude orange with an angry-looking white bunny on the nose with the words, Tina's big carrot.

"All in all, I would equate it all to equal… about a hundred and forty kilotons of TNT." Detonator lights activated on all of the weapons in the silo as Boom Daddy immediately tried to turn and run.

-Back on the gunship-

"Actually, the primary trap should have gone off by now. . . So that means the back up should be going off riiiiight… now."

There was a flash of light as the mountain was suddenly engulfed in a blazing ball of fire that shot several kilometers into the sky.

Oh shit… EVERYONE HANG ON!" Morde yelled.

Seconds later the shockwave hit the ship. Everyone screamed in panic as the drop ship was sent spinning around in the air. The gang were all screaming as held onto whatever was available to prevent them from being flung out. It took all of Loggins's strength to keep the bird airborne, but after another ten seconds of turbulent air they finally leveled out once the shockwave passed. "HANG ON! IT NOT OVER YET!" Loggin's yelled.

"But the shockwave has past?" Mordecai yelled as he tried to keep Bloodwing calm.

"Yes, but not the boulders that used to be the mountain!" He yelled as a massive molten rock suddenly screamed by the ship.

Kai looked out the door and saw hundreds of rocks falling from the sky. "SHIT! BREAK LEFT!" Loggin's juked the bird hard left as a flaming Runner size boulder flew by.

"TILT RIGHT!" Tina yelled as she looked out the right side. Following her call, Loggin's tilted hard right as another rock barely missed the right rotor. The next sixty seconds became a rollercoster as they dodged falling boulders from the size of footballs to semi-trucks. All the while being pelted by fine gravel. After dodging a large car sized rock Tina screamed. "HOUSE INCOMING!" Kai looked to see a boulder the size of a long two-story house hurtling at them and Kai noted it was too big to move out of its way.

"We can't go left or right!" Kai yelled.

"THEN HOLD ON AND CLINCH YOUR ASSHOLES!" Loggins yelled as he pulled back on the stick. The aircraft suddenly flew up at an extreme angle as the boulder came in. To the others, it was as if the worlded slowed down as the gunship flipped up and over just as the boulder flew under, just barely clipping one of the back fins. Everything sped up as they flipped back up and dropped nearly a hundred meters towards the ground before Loggins gained control and climbed back up, having to only avoid a few small boulders before they were finally safe.

After everyone caught their breaths they looked back to see that the mountain was completely destroyed with nothing but a massive mushroom cloud looming over everything. What remained of the Tundra Express, was a burning hellscape as for miles around everything was either burning or crushed from debris.

"Tina, why the fuck didn't you tell us about the ammo dump below our feet!?" Kai yelled. "Better yet, WHY WEREN'T WE USING IT!"

"Because that was the ammo dump. The weapons that could fire all that ammo were in Knoxy Knox's little armory which he blew up." Tina said, pointing to Mordecai. Kai looked to Mordecai who held up his hands.

"Hey, I had no idea, all Tina said when I asked was that's where she kept her special projects… Being a thirteen-year-old female bomb-maker with a pension for blowing things up, I took the safe choice and didn't ask."

Kai thought about it and realized he couldn't blame the guy's decision of life over knowledge. "Sooooo, while I don't mind giving you all a gunship tour of this lovely planet, I'd prefer a destination." Loggins yelled.

"That brings up a good question, how are we going to find everyone?" Mordecai said. "Sanctuary is still off the map and we have no idea where the other Vault Hunters are."

"I just tried calling your girl. No signal, Hyperion must be jamming them again." Tina said waving a pink ECHO that said no connection on screen.

"Then we simply go with plan B." Kai said as he started shuffling through a pocket on his pants.

"And plan B is?" Mordecai asked.

"This." Kai said as he held up a small device that showed a 3D hologram compass that was pointing south.

"Ooooh, pretty! . . . What is that?" Tina asked.

"See, Scooter has this thing about his Runners getting stolen, sooo, he made several various parts that both look like simple parts that worked but are also tracking devices. Hub caps, headlights, steering wheels, you name it. Bandits after all can't find the tracker if the tracker is in the parts. His most clever ones, are a screw and simple lug nut. Now these trackers are small so they only give out a weak beacon signals, but they can easily be tracked across the system if you have the codes. Anyways on the fourth day after Gaige reached Sanctuary, we were both out target practicing. She got ambushed after she went to relieve herself by this knock-off edgelord ronin warrior asshole who was after her bounty. Luckily I was nearby so I killed the guy… And a rabid skag that attacked us, but later it got me thinking, what if I wasn't there…"

"So you gave your girlfriend a tracking device?" Mordecai asked as he stared at the rebel in disbelief. Tina and even Loggins turned and looked back at him.

"Yes." Kai stated flatly. "Two actually. And before you say it's some kind of trust issue, it's perfectly reasonable considering she has a bounty worth 820 billion and see how the bounty never specified dead or alive, any bounty hunter will take her alive so not to risk the second biggest bounty reward ever given in the last century, giving me the opportunity to find her and bust her out." He glaring back at Mordecai who was still staring at him. "Don't give me that look, don't think I haven't noticed the little rabbit pin Tina has on that's also one of Scooter's trackers." Kai said.

The girl in question took off the pin and looked at it. She noted some details such as it being thicker than it should be. Tina gave the back a twist and sure enough, there was a tiny tracking chip glued on the back. "Morde, what the fuck!?"

Ignore the young teen, Mordecai continued. "Where did you put them?"

"I swapped a lug nut on her choker and one of the bolts on her earring." He said as he handed the tracker to Mordecai. "Figured I'd double it up for both signal strength and in case a bounty hunter find one."

Mordecai looked over the compass for a moment before looking back to the rebel. "While I don't condone what you did-"

"Says the guy who tagged my sis." Kai muttered.

"Your foresight has paid off. This will get us to where we're going." Mordecai said as he tossed the compass to Loggins who caught it and immediately got to work.

After a minute he had a solid lock on the direction. "Well, this could take us a while to get there, so settle in back there ladies and gentlemen. Also if you could check my gear back there that would be helpful." Loggins said.

"Gear?" Kai then realized he was actually sitting on a wooden crate that was tied down. He moved and open it up as Tina looked over his shoulder. "Woah." He said as he stared at the content of the crate.

"Daaaaaamn, that boy got some girth!" Tina said.

"Indeed he does. . . What to help me set it up?"

"Fuck yea!" Tina yelled like a happy puppy as they flew south towards the unknown.

X-X-X

The Vault Hunters were riding through the Dahl highlands under the Elpis moonlight. Gaige was in the back of the Technical they got from a catch-a-ride with Krieg, Maya, and Zer0, while Axton drove and Salvador was in the turret. "So Angel, where the hell are we going, and why did we need this supply beacon?" Axton asked.

"Your heading to Overlook, it is a nice quiet place you can set up the beacon. Once you've set it I'll be able to request an uncalibrated fast-travel unit from the moonbase which will let me reconnect Sanctuary to the grid."

"Wait… Overlook, was that the place where Hyperion was conducting a competition that the band The Totally Doomed were killed at?" Salvador asked.

"Indeed it is."

"Soo what happened with this… Band you were talking about?" Maya asked out of boredom.

"Happened about five years ago, a little bit before the moon started glowing. There was this horrific firework accident that blew the arena right off the side of the cliff. I heard later on that the local church they were using as a triage center got burned as well down when a Claptrap unit knocked over a fire pit, killing everyone there… Actually, it was apparently the same Claptrap that wrongly swapped the fireworks with explosives and later killed the last competitor by knocking him into a grinder with an inflatable pool ring." Salvador said.

". . . Wow, I'm not one for hating on robots but I hope that Claptrap was decommissioned like the rest." Gaige said, being followed by several words of agreement. It was then that they passed a side road that lead to a bridge connecting the shore to the gleaming city in the middle of the bay. "Hey, Angel, what that city over there?"

"That would be Opportunity, Jack's vanity project if you ask me. It's still under construction but it should be able to accommodate over ten thousand people."

"Seriously? Who would want to move here?" Axton said with Zer0 nodding in agreement.

"Shoot, I'll get back to you in a minute." Angel said in sudden panic. Before anyone could ask a familiar voice came on.

"There you are you filthy degenerates, I lost you after the party we had up here." Handsome Jack said in his usual tone of superiority. "Me, the company board, and a few others were partying, drinking, shoving interns out of airlocks." He let out a little chuckle. "It was a blast of a party, especially when we started playing pin the moonshot on the bandit camp. See we all drew town names from a hat and then got a whole minute to fire to our heart's content on our town while everyone else watched the show in hyper definition. I have to give to Deborah from HR, that woman is as vicious with a moonshot cannon as she is with an internal review, I mean she just let loose on this piss ant of a Bandit town! What was it called… Ah, Cobre!"

"COBRE! You bastard! That town had one of the best fight bars on the planet. And the people weren't bandits they even had a decent church, and an orphanage! AN ORPHANAGE!" Salvador yelled in fury.

"Anyways." Jack said as he ignored Salvador's cries. "One of my peons just saw you guys drive by the city through one of the gate cams. Had to redirect like, fifty satellites to get a singnel to you guys."

"What the fuck do you want Jack." Maya asked.

"I'm just saying hi to my favorite stress toys, you idiots are like the little Ewok figures I used to strap firecrackers to when I was young. I used to throw them across the yard, pretend to murder their allies, shooting them with a BB gun, good times. . . Anyways what are you ass hats up to, have you finally given up on life? Oh if you need help I have this great place you can go and off your selves at. Large desolate cliff, toxic fumes, lake of molten lava to break your fall, it's perfect! I can even guide you there like one of those old car navigation program. Come on it will be fun!"

"Fuck off Jackass. We're not going to off ourselves for your sick amusement, were not gonna role over and give up after everything you've done, and we are not gonna stop till one of us gets to curb stomp your face." Gaige yelled getting several approving cheers.

"Argh, this is so frustrating. Y'see, this is what I don't get about you bad guys. You know the hero's gonna win, but you just don't die quickly. Example: this one guy in New Haven, right? City's burning, people are dying left and right, yadda yadda yadda. This jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A fricking spoon! And I'm dying laughing, right? So I scoop out his stupid little eyeballs with it, and his kids are all, waaahh!, and, he can't see where he's going, he's bumping into stuff, and ah... I don't know, maybe you had to be there. The moral is, you guys are total bitches."

"So what does that make you, the cunt?" Gaige said as Salvador began laughing at her response.

"Oh, you think you're real funny you damn snout-nosed kid. How's it feel knowing you betrayed all your friends, especially that little boy toy rebel you hang out with?"

"First off, fuck you, and second I never betrayed him. We were tricked, there is a big difference between the two."

"And yet your little friend ran away and abandoned you."

Gaige let out a growl, as Maya put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. "Hey Jackass, do us a favor and just piss off." Maya said holding a finger to the sky.

"YEAH! Go choke on caviare or whatever it is you rich assholes eat" Salvador cheered.

"Aww, it so cute when the little bandits try to act all tough. You are just so adorable! But now that you mention it I am hungry. I think I'll have something exotic, oh how about a blue striped Ocelot. Nothing like an endangered species to go down with a serving of fresh caviare and wine." Jack said tauntingly before hanging up.

"What, a, jerk." Maya said with a huff.

"He's been like this for the last two days." Angel said. "It has been no stop gloating since he attacked the city."

"Angel, how did you end up working for Jack anyways? It obvious you hate the guy just as much as us, sooo… What did he or Hyperion make you and your forced to do this, were you stolen and enslaved?" Gaige asked.

"It's… a very long and painful story." Angel said sadly. "For now we need to focus on getting you back to Sanctuary as soon as possible." Ending the conversation.

Several minutes later they reach a small town that had a perimeter wall cobbled together with junk that prevented the gang from just driving in. Of course, Salvador made note of a bar called the Holy Spirit, which led to the hilarious sight of Zer0 dragging the man away by his foot as the Pandoran dig his fingers into the earth while he beegged for a beer break.

The town of Overlook was a very quiet town set on a clifftop hill with dozens of old prefab Dahl buildings that while in much better condition than most Pandoran structures had obviously seen better days. The odd thing that the Vault Hunters noticed was that there was no one out and about. "Does anyone else find this suspicious? " Axton asked as they slowly moved through the town.

"From what I understand Overlook used to be a nice place. Then after the competition Jack took over and began mining operations in the area, the towns folks all contracted the Skull Shivers from working in or near the mine. It's a condition of having too much unrefined eridium dust in the body that weakens the body. Most of the townsfolk can't even leave their homes."

"Heard about that, nasty condition." Gaige said as she turned around and walked backwards to face everyone. "A kid at my school several years ago was hospitalized for like eight months after he took too much cheap eridium dust he bought from a gang."

"Why would anyone willingly take such stuff?" Maya asked.

"For the high and to be cool." Gaige and Axton both stated in contempt.

"Uuuugh?" Maya looked between the two in confusion.

"Let's just sum it up like this." Axton said.

"It's High School." Gaige said with some flare.

"And that's supposed to explain everything?" Maya asked.

"You'd be surprised how much it actually explains." Axton replied.

"Teenagers, raging hormones, boys and girls, popularity, bullying, acceptance, rejection, fighting social norms set by adults, being cool, life, the expectations of ones parents and family, disappointment, love, and DRAMA! It that weight of exsitance, as you try and find your place in the universe."

"That basically sums it up." Axton said.

"That sounds nothing like the high schools I've read about."

"That's because your reference for High School are shows and books like Toradora, Azumanga Daioh, Komi Can't Communicate, or Assassination Classroom."

"Wait, aren't those all animes?" Axton asked with a chuckle as Maya's face went nuclear.

"GAIGE! You weren't supposed to tell anyone I was into that!"

"I didn't tell them you were into it, you just told them you were into that stuff." Gaige said as Zer0, Salvador, and Axton all laughed. "

"Gaige you are so dead."

"Then you'd be screwed."

"Why?" Maya asked with a questioning look.

"First, you'd lose one of your favorite rom-com characters. Second, you'd be the only woman in this sausage party of a team. Third, without me who do you think Angel is going to direct all of her teasing towards." Gaige said tauntingly

"She's right, I would get very bored, very fast." Maya could just hear the shit eating grin on Angel's face.

". . . Fine, I won't kill you. But don't think I'll let you get away with this."

"Eh, it was worth it." Gaige shrugged as they entered the town's square.

"Alright Angel, where are we putting this thing." Axton asked.

"You'll wanna set up the beacon over on the grinder. Once set, I can contact the moonbase to process our request, and then you should have a fast-travel station."

"Grinder?" They all look to see a massive machine that had large gears and parts in it.

"Why does a town have such a machine in the town square?" Maya asked.

". . . Don't ask." She said as Salvador and Gaige walked up the stairs of the grinder. Salvador set the beacon on a drum that was part of the machine. As Gaige started to set the beacon up, Salvador walked to the back edge of the machine which sat on the edge of the cliff, and looked over. Down below he could see the ruins of what looked like a wrecked building.

"Damn, what a way to go." Sal said as he looked at the once great areana. "Rest in peace Totally Doomed." He muttered before turning back.

Gaige finished setting the Beacon and activated it, getting a blinking light and a beep from it. "Okay Angel, your on."

"It's transmitting the supply request now. We've just gotta wait a few minutes, and… Sent. We just need to be alert as eventually, someone will probably notice what we're doing."

"How long until someone notices?" Maya asked.

Before she could answer they heard that last person they wanted to hear.

"Angel, what are you doing?" .

"Maya, you had to say it." Gaige said as the woman looked sorry for jinxing them.

"Shot! We don't have long until Jack realizes I'm not helping him anymore. Get ready to defend the beacon!"

"Shit!" Axton said before turning to everyone. "Zer0, get on the clock tower and cover us. Gaige, Sal, you watch the right street, Maya, you and me got the left street. Krieg, you'll run between both of us dealing with anyone getting too close. Grab any scraps to make some cover and grab all the ammo you can. MOVE IT!"

"Angel, are you still pretending to help the bad guys. That's adorable. You can stop now Angel… Angel?" Jack asked.

"Alright, the request is finished." Angel said.

"Uncalibrated fast-travel station request received. Estimated processing time: three to six weeks." Came an automated Hyperion response.

"No! No, no, no!" Angel yelled in frustration. "I'll move some data around, see if I can bump the order up in the queue.

"Angel, what the hell are you doing?!" Jack said with anger creeping into his voice.

Gaige was propping up a steel plate on the grinder when she heard a familiar noise. Looking to the moon base she saw several fireballs head towards the town. "Baddies incoming!" Gaige yelled several seconds before the first pod landed down the right street as another two landed on the left.

Gaige and Salvador jumped behind their cover as several Gun Loaders started walking up the dirt road firing wildly. Gaige quickly deployed DT who immediately fired an arc of electricity at the first loader while Sal and Gaige shot the next two. DT then turned to her for orders with a worbble. "Guard the right side by us, but if he needs it, cover and assist Krieg. Now go get'em bud!"

DT saluted and flew forward. "Welp this sucks. Backs to a cliff, no idea when will be able to get out, and worse, I'm not drunk enough for this shit!" Salvador said as he took aim and fired a few shots from a Jakob assault rifle he had out.

"Tell you what, when we get out of here, I'll buy you a bottle and we can both share it. Top shelf." Gaige said as she blew the arm off a PWR Loader that had come around a corner.

"Really? You're the best pequeña dama a guy like me could ask to know. Now then, VÁMONOS, PUTAS!" He yelled as he pulled out another assault rifle and fired.

And so for the next fifthteen minutes, Loaders would be dropped from the moon base and move up the hill as the Vault Hunters fended off each wave. Gaige had already burned through her SMG ammo and was nearly through all of her shotgun ammo. She only had half of her assault rifle ammo, which wasn't of much use as her only assault rifle was the Ol' Painful, and incindiary weapons were of very little use against armor.

"Sal, hows that ammo coming?" Gaige asked as she blasted another surveyor drone that flew too close with her Dog shotgun.

"My converters are barely keeping up with my own ammo use. Here." He said as he passed three mags of SMG ammo to the teen.

"ONLY THREE!? Sal you have to have more?"

"Hey we're not doing so well here either." Axton said over the ECHO. Gaige looked to see Maya phaselocking an RPG loader which Axton shot apart with his sidearm. Nearby was his turret which had been redeployed several times now.

"Hey, Angel hows it coming?" Salvador asked.

"I've managed to increased the request's priority. T-Bone Junction can live without medical supplies for another few months."

Salvador thought about that for a second. "I don't know how to feel about tha-"

"BOOMER!" Krieg yelled as an EXP loader ran past him while he was holding off a PWR Loader. The Loader jumped and launched itself with it feet rockets at the beacon as its power core began to overload. Both Gaige and Salvador fired at the Kamakazi loader and managed to destroy it, but the explosion caught the Beacon, knocking it offline.

"Repair the beacon, quickly!" Angel yelled.

"On it!" Gaige said as she threw down her shotgun and opened a panel on the beacon.

"Seriously is there no end to these things." Salvador muttered only to notice a flash in the distance. He squinted at the object to realize what it was and paled. "ZER0 GETOUT!" He yelled to the assassin. The assassin jumped from to the ground just as a glowing projectile flew in and blew the top of the clock tower off.

Gaige looked from her work at the tower and then to Salvador. "What the fuck was that!?"

"Plasma mortar from that Hyperion outpost on the cliff." Salvador said pointing to a collection of buildings over a kilometer away. "Looks like we woke the neighbors" He said as another round flew over the cliff.

"Hey Angel, while I'm fixing this, can you do something about that." Gaige asked.

"Already, done. I just caused their targeting computer to fail, they'll still be able to fire but they have to aim manually for the next ten minutes."

"At least it's something." Axton yelled as he fired a corrosive rocket from a Maliwan launcher at a badass Loader.

"How many more of those do you have?" Maya asked.

"Two shots. Gaige is the only other one of us with rocket ammo left. Speaking of, RED! Hows it coming?"

"Axton if you just give me one damn-." Several sparks shot from the beacon causing Gaige to jerk back but she saw the beacon reactivate. "We're online again." Gaige shouted just as a Loader landed behind her Gaige looked to see her Dog shotgun laying on the ground and jumped for it, only for the Loader to crush it beneath it foot. She scrambled back as the bot advanced only to stop suddenly stop as if snagged. The bot looked back to see Salvador had grabbed it's waist from behind.

"Where are you going pendejo!" Salvador yelled before he bent back and suplexed the loader.

Instead of smashing into the metal floor however, it threw the loader into the grinder which automatically began shredding the robot as it yelled. "This will compromise my warranty!"

Okay, avoid the grinder." Gaige said as she looked at her crushed shotgun. "Sorry about that shotgun you gave me Sal."

"Eh, it was a bandit gun, who cares." Salvador said as he started shooting at the next set of loaders.

"GOD... darn it." Angel said with a frustrated grunt "The lunar engineers denied our request. Just hold out for a bit longer I'll see what I can do"

"Goddammit, Angel! What the HELL, are you doing!? Those are the murderers, the cannibals, the rapist the BAD GUYS! We don't help the bad guys Angel." Jack yelled.

"And now I have a raging CEO breathing down my neck… Great."

"Umm, Angel are you gonna be okay?" Maya asked as she threw a grenade into a group of loaders coming up the road.

"I'm fine, just give me a some time."

"We can hold for now but time is something we don't have a lot of. KRIEG!" Axton yelled as a PWR Loader charge at Krieg as he was holding back a BUL Loader that was attempting to run him over. Before the Loader could hit him, the loaders arm seemed to fall off with a clean cut at the elbow. Zer0 then appeared and stabbed the loader in the back taking it out. "THANKS ZORRO!" Krieg yelled as he lifted the BUL loader and tossed it at a nearby GUN Loader.

"RRRRAAA! SCREW IT! Send in the constructors! Send in EVERYTHING you can! I want those bastards dead NOW!" Jack yelled. Several moonshots soon streaked over and impacted just outside of the town.

Gaige pulled out her Ol'Painful and looked through the scope to see over a dozen HOT and SGT Loaders, a pair of Badass Loaders, and a Constructor. "Oh shit." Gaige muttered.

"That bad?" Salvador asked.

"That bad."

"It's about to get worse." Axton yelled as he pointed off to the distance. Gaige looked to where he was pointing and paled.

"Fuck." Was all she could say as a Hyperion Drop Barge was flying towards them from the outpost with an escort of a dozen JET Loaders. As the ship approached several more moonshots came down to deploy more Loaders of various types that were quickly moving in.

"Maya RUN!" Axton yelled as he grabs her arm and pulled her from their cover. Seconds later a mortar from the base blew their cover to bits and threw the Vault Hunters. In an instant, Krieg rushed over a caught Maya in a bridal hold while Axton landed on some trash bags.

"Um, thanks big guy." Maya said with a slight blush. Krieg, who had steam coming from his ears, gently set her down.

"No worries, I'm fine. No need, ugh, to concern yourselves." Axton said as he got out of the trash.

The gang drew back to the cover they had on the grinder as more Loaders moved in. The constructor shot over the building and landed on the roof of the building that split the roads. At the same time, the barge closed in and had opened its front hatch to reveal several dozen GUN Loaders.

"ANGEL!" Axton yelled as he fired his Dahl SMG he was down to. "Now would be a good time!"

"Well Vault Hunters, this is the end of the line for you. Oh and don't worry. I've isolated the New-U system for the area so that you'll appear in a cozy jail cell. And then the real fun begins!" Jack said with a tone that oozed of unspoken horrors. "So enjoy that last breath of fresh stale air, feel the dry weeds between your toes, look into the sky at the universe that will not miss you, listen to that last song on the horiz-. . . Wait, why do I hear music?"

Everyone listened and could hear what sounded like an orchestra, with trumpets and violins as the focus. But there was another noise, the sound of an engine hidden in the music.

Ride of the Valkyries

by Giscard Rasquin and Richard Wagner

From behind the cliff a ghost grey aircraft lifted up to be level with the Drop Barge. "Is that Loggins?" Salvador asked as it passed their head height and they could see the crazy pilot at the stick. Without warning the aircraft fired a salvo of rockets straight into the barge's open-door, causing the front half to explode and knocking off one of the lift struts below it. With the strut gone, the ship began to list heavily to the right before falling over the cliff and crashing in the valley below.

"Holy shit!" Axton yelled.

"WHAT THE HELL! WHO THE HELL HAS THE BALLS TO ATTACK, ME! WHO!"

The music then switched from an orchestra, to a drum beat with an electric guitar.

Fortunate Son

by Creedence Clearwater

The aircraft rotated to the right to show its open bay door, and the three people inside. Mordecai had a Maliwan corrosive sniper in hand. Tina was next to him with a Vladof rocket launcher in hand and a manic grin, and finally, Kai was in a seat to her left manning a door-mounted tri barrel belt-fed fifty caliber Gatling gun. All the while he had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. "Sup Jackass."

"RIP AND TEAR BITCHES!" Tina screamed as she fired at a group of Loaders, turning them into scrap metal, as Mordecai started sniping the JET Loaders still in the air. Kai spun up the cannon and unleashed hell on anything in Hyperion yellow as several bots were quickly turned into swiss cheese in seconds.

"Shit Gaige, your boyfriend really knows how to make an entrance." Maya said as they watched on.

"Yeah, yeah he does." Gaige said with her own smile growing.

"Hey, hey, HEY! Make a hole bitches, cus Mercenary days come early!" Tina yelled as a small crate was pushed out and fell near the Vault hunters. It broke open to reveal a mess of ammo that everyone immediately jumped on before reengaging the Loaders.

"Hey, Gaige!" Gaige looked up to see Kai leaning out of the chopper. "Got something that belongs to you!" He yelled before an object was tossed out. Gaige held her arms out and caught the heavy object. It was a shiny Maliwan rocket launcher with an orange front half and black back half and a white and black diagonal line in the middle. The unique feature was a large E-Tech barrel with several flaps on the side of it and blue glowing components, the stats popped up on her HUD and was lite orange signifying its legendary statues. At the top of the card was the weapons name, Norfleet.

"Unleash the anarchy, girl!" Tina yelled, as they flew off to orbit the battlefield.

"Oh fuck yes!" Gaige yelled as she shouldered the launcher, letting out a small manic laugh as it readied.

"Um, Gaige. How much anarchy do you have?" Salvador asked hesitantly.

"Currently. A hundred and eighty-three stacks. But tonight, I'm going for two hundred."

". . . Oh shit." Salvador muttered as Gaige fired. Three blue spheres shoot out and erratically fly around before one impacted the Constructor, engulfing it in a sphere of energy. When it dissipated a few seconds later, all that was left was the back half of the bot and it's stuby legs.

"What the HELL!? How did that bitch destroy a Constructor in one shot!?" Jack yelled in anger.

"HA HA! SMASH THE SYSTEM!" Gaige screamed before she jumped off the grinder onto DT's shoulder. "DT To battle! To glory! TO ANARCHY!" She yelled as DT rushed into the fury as Gaige fired with reckless abandon at any bot in her sight.

"Oh great. Her meglomaina is showing again. Axton said as he watched the teen vaporize a Badass Loader in a hail of super charged plasma.

Thous the battle of Overlook was elevated to new levels of chaos. All around bullets, rockets, axes and plasma rounds were flying every which way. Maya lifted a SGT Loader with her Phase lock as Krieg jumped in and smashed it like a pinata. Salvador had pulled out a pair of Jakob pistols and was spaming rounds as if bullets were going out of style. Axton at the moment slide under a badass Loader's legs and shot out the hips before turning and pulling a pistol and shooting two survayors out of the sky. "I love this planet!" He yelled as Zer0 jumped over him and slashed a GUN Loader that was about to stike the commando. "Thanks Z." He said before charging at a distracted HOT Loader.

In the sky above, the gunship was unleashing hell on any bots below. Kai had just minced another Badass Loader when Tina tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey bro, can I have a go with the big gun?" She asked innocently.

"Sure." Kai said as he scooted out of the seat as Tina immediately took the spot.

"Hello sexy!" Tina said rubbing her hands togeather before she reached to grab the controls.

"Tina!"

"What?" She said with annoyance.

Kai reached over and locked a seatbelt over her lap. "Remember, safety first."

"Thanks big bro." She said with a cute smile before she grabbed the mounted cannon. "DAKKA! DAKKA! DAKKA! DAKKA! DAKKA!" Tina yelled as she began firing at another Constructor that had just landed. Kai just chuckled as he pulled his Clementine from his back and fired on the Loaders.

"Gaige was blasting another group of Loaders when Angel's voice came on again. "I just shut off the moonbase's oxygen supply. I expect the engineers will launch you a fast-travel station very soon." As if on cue a fast-travel landed in the middle of the square with a loud thud.

"Well, that was convenient." Gaige said.

"Go, quickly, You need to input the address in manually!" Angel said. Gaige nodded and immediately put the Norfleet in her inventory and rushed to the Fast-Travel. "Everyone, get to the fast-travel station and get back to Sanctuary, Jack is loading multiple constructors!"

"You guys pull back, will cover you until you can go!" Mordecai said over the ECHO as the aircraft flew in low to fire on the Loaders. The Vault Hunters, and DT pulled back to surround Gaige as she worked on the unit. At that moment over a dozen Moonshots were streaking towards the town.

"How's it coming?" Axton yelled over the gunship.

"Just give me a moment dam-."

"Fast-travel station calibrated. Location, Sanctuary, is now available for travel."

"Time to go!" Gaige yelled as she selected Sanctuary, in seconds they were all enveloped by a blue cloud of pixels as several constructors landed.

"Get us out of here Loggins." Kai called. With a nodded Loggins turned towards Sanctuary.

Up in Helios, Jack was staring at his monitor which was looking at the spot the Vault Hunters had been. "Angel, you and I are gonna have a serious talk." He muttered with controlled anger.

X-X-X

There was a flash of light in the Sanctuary's fast travel hub as six people and a floating robot appeared. A Raider in blue armor brought his rifle up at the gang. "HALT! What's the password?"

"Password, what password?" Salvador asked.

"The password given out in the staff meeting thirty minute ago." The blue Raider said.

"Staff meeting?" We've been gone since the city jumped! The city been off the Fast Travel grid for days! How are we supposed to know what the password is?"

"There, you almost had it but you're missing a word." The Raider replied.

"What the, LOOK, we don't know what the password is!?" Axton said getting angry.

"Oh come on man, now you're just guessing."

"Caboose."

"Oh, hi Gaige… who are you."

"Gaige, and I'm good, now then, the password is… Password." Gaige said.

"Hey, you got it right! Your good to go." Caboose said stepping out of their way.

"What the hell was that?" Salvador asked.

"You mean you haven't met Caboose yet? He's one of those Blue and Red guys we see around here, like Sarge and Church."

"Oh, those idiots. Like the maroon one and gold one who are always arguing like an old married couple?" Salvador asked.

"One and the same." Gaige said as they exited the Shariff station

"What is that guy's story then?"

"Caboose, he a sweety. He's just missing a few marbles ."

"I see."

"There you guys are." They all look over to see Lilith walking over with an older man in a dusty Shariff uniform who Gaige knew was Marshall Friedman. "I heard something over the wire that you guys got in a fight near Overlook."

"Yeah, that was a close one."

"Oh, how'd you manage to get out of that?" Friedman asked.

"With Mordecai, Tina, and Kai's help."

"Morde and Kai?" Lilith asked as she looked around. Where are they?" Just then the gunship flew over the town square towards Scooters. "What the hell!? Are we under attack? Marshell, call Carolina and alert the men!"

"No ned to worry, that would be them." Gaige said as she started off towards Scooters before glancing back. "Tell the Raiders not to shoot!" She yelled back before running off.

"Where she off to in a rush." Lilith asked.

"To make amends." Maya stated with a grin that all the other Vault Hunters watched their young Vault Hunter run off.

It took Gaige a few minutes to make it to the roundabout in front of Scooters garage. She got there in time to see the gunship landing in a makeshift landing area marked by flares that a few nearby Raiders had placed. Once on the ground the aircraft powered down and a small blonde jumped out. "WHAT UP SANCTUARY! THE BITCH IS BACK!"

"Oh no."

"Why is she here!"

"Quick! Hide all the ammo and booze!" Several Raiders yelled and even ran from the site.

"Tina, what did we say." Came Kai's voice as he poked his head out

"UUUGH. No terrorizing the city and the people here."

"Especially now that the place is flying." Kai said as he stepped out of the aircraft. He then noticed something and looked over to see Gaige standing at the top of the stairs. "Morde, you got Tina… I've got something to do." He said.

The old sniper looked to where he was staring and let out a chuckle. "I got your sis, go say what needs to be said."

Kai nodded a thanks before walking over to the foot of the stairs, all the while Gaige was watching him. "Well you look like shit." Gaige said as he reached the foot of the stairs.

"Could say the same about you." They were both silent for a good minute just staring at each other, both looking apprehensive of the situation. Finally Kai let out a tired sigh as he looked to the side. "Look, I'm not. . . I'm not that good at this sort of stuff. . . Never had any real experience with issues that couldn't be solved with a good left cross." He chuckled. "So excuse me if I'm a little blunt, but I'm sor- OOF!" Kai spat out as a small red torpedo smashed into his chest and knocked him to the ground. He looked down to see Gaige's face buried in his chest.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for not telling you about Angel, I'm sorry for not trusting you as a friend, I'm sorry for being tricked, I sorry for not trying too hard to explain things and-."

"Gaige, Gaige. Breathe dammit. I'm the one who should be sorry." He said as he gently pushed her up to sit. "I'm sorry that I was so short sighted when this all happened, I didn't consider all the fact and I let it get to my head. I mean if Roland, Lil and Morde fell for the trick, it's not that much of a stretch for it to happen to any of us."

"That… is true. Plus you were riled up by Jackass" Gaige said as she got off Kai and stood up.

"Yeah, not gonna lie, I feel like an idiot for letting him get in my head." Kai said with embarrassment as he picked himself up..

"You are an idiot more often than you think." Gaige jabbed with a small smile.

"Hey, we're suppose to be making up, not fanning the flames of war."

"Sorry, couldn't help it."

The two teens soon fell into another acquired silence as they stood there. "Umm, Gaige." "Kai." They both say at the same time causing them to stop. After a second they both let out a chuckle.

"Sorry, you go first." Gaige said.

"No, no, you should." Kai said.

"After you."

"No, I insist."

"Age before beauty."

"Did you just call me old?"

"If the hat fits."

"I guess the hat would swallow you whole."

"Hey!"

"OH MY GOD! WILL YOU TWO GET ON WITH IT!" Tina yelled from by the gunship as Mordecai facepalmed.

Gaige let out a sigh before turning back to Kai. I guess I'll do it. Kai I just wanted to say. . . That I'm sorry for what happened before. Your my best friend after all, you've helped me survive this planet, save my ass several times, you've watched over me countless times when I make stupid decisions, and you are a person I can always count on. . . I Guess what I'm getting at is. . . Well. Kai I. . . I . .. I. . . What is that?" Gaige asked as something caught her attention

Kai looks behind him to the sky and sees a fireball streaking towards the city. "What the hell, Shit MOONSHOT!" Kai yelled.

In the next second the massive object flew over them and smash somewhere in the city, causing the entire place to shutter and groan.

"Holy robot policeman, we're alive." Gaige said picking herself off the ground.

"Yeah, but the question now is what hit us." Kai asked.

"We need back up in the town center! All avalibe raiders to the HQ." Yelled a female voice. The two nodded and rushed to the town never noticing the rest of the Vault Hunters on the roof above them.

"FUCK! And she was so damn close to." Maya said.

"Ha, told you it wouldn't happen pay up."

"It doesn't count, you bet on her chickening out, they were interrupted. Doesn't count!" Maya said as she walked for the roof ladder..

"Told you she try and weasel out of the bet." Axton said as they followed her.

Kai and Gaige soon reached the center of town where over fifty Raiders were all armed and pointed at a smoke cloud that sat above the Raider's HQ. Kai moved over to a Raider in Cyan armor and another in steel grey with yellow trim. "Carolina, what's going on?" Kai asked.

"From witness reports it sounds like some kind of ship crashed on the HQ's roof." The woman said as she turned to look at him.

"I'm telling you Carolina, it wasn't a ship it was a truck! First cars try to kill me, now trucks, what next a battleship."

"Can it Wash." She said as the other Vault Hunters, Mordecai and Tina all walked over to them.

"Where Roland?" Axton asked.

"He's injured and has been at Zed's before we even came out of the warp. Lil is there with him and since Captian Miller was knocked out when that thing hit, me an Wash are incharge."

"What the plan then?" Kai asked.

"So I want you up in your apartment since it has a clear line of sight to the roof, while we-"

"Hey, something coming out!" A Raider yelled. Every gun in the area was immediately trained on the cloud.

The smoke blew away to reveal a large red truck like ship with it front partly hanging over the roof. On the hood was a familiar large muscled shirtless man with large dark sunglasses, and a red bandana. "HELLO PANDORA! MISTER TORGUE IS BACK- OOF!" He was kicked off the hood and fell to the ground below with a loud thud. "Ugh. My f*cking pride." He moaned.

Everyone looked back to the top of the truck to see a person in a bullet costume with their foot stretched out, Next to the mascot was a small red boar with a checkered bandanna around its neck. "DAMMIT TORGUE! YOU'VE WRECKED THE SHIP! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT GONNA TAKE ME TO FIX IT!" The person yelled in anger.

"Just fucking great, more idiots." Carolina muttered.

"This is gonna be a long evening." Kai said as she and Wash nodded.

A few hours later Gaige, Salvador and Krieg found themselves in the sitting at Moxxi's wrecked bar with a bottle of scotch between them. "I can't believe the moment was ruined." Gaige muttered as she stared at the glass of amber liquid in her hand.

"That was some shit luck amigo. But hey, at least you've made up, and actually thinking about it, considering everything that happened today, it might have been too much to drop that on him." Salvador said.

"I disagree, while it's more romantic to find the perfect moment and be slow and gentle as you profuse your love, sometimes you just have to be fast and hard, shoving the point straight in!" Moxxi said as she swept some glass behind the bar, while Susan was putting bottles on the shelf.

"Ugh, why is love so hard." Gaige asked.

"Well if it was easy sugar then it wouldn't be any fun. After all half the fun of playing fetch is finally getting to play with the big hard stick at the end."

Gaige let out a groan as Salvador spat out his drink in laughter. "Why do you have to say it like that Moxxi?" Gaige said before downing her drink.

"She wouldn't be Moxxi if she didn't turn every conversation into an innuendo." Abigail said as she and Trixie walked over with broom and mop in hand.

"Besides Red, there's always tomorrow." Trixie said.

"Yeah, tomorrow." Gaige repeated before pouring another glass and downing it immediately.

"You're going a little heavy on the liquor girl. You might want to show a little more control or else you'll be a crying mess here again." Susan said.

"I don't give a rat's ass, I just want to drown this day like any love sick lass would." Gaige said as she grabbed the bottle again.

Moxxi and the girls all raised a brow at the words but gave up as it was her choice.

One hour later.

Kai had finally finished his debriefing Roland about his adventure after the city disappeared and hearing Axton and Maya's own adventue at Zed's while the doctor patched him up. They even talked with Angel who explained a few interesting details. Then there was the questioning of the cities two and a half new residences that now live on the HQ. At first everyone was afraid Torgue was going to start a new corporate incursion on the planet, but that fear was quickly squashed upon realizing he just wanted to go on badass adventure and teach his partner.

Eventually he was finally allowed to go and like the rest of the Vault Hunters, was told to take a day for themselves. He was thankful for it as he could feel the drain of the day finally catching up to him. Kai just wanted to go to bed then and there but he was also starving, so he figured he'd stop at Moxxi's, check in and grab a meal to take back to his, probably messy apartment, where Gaige was likely at. Of course, as a general once said many centuries ago no battle plan, survives first contact. When Kai reached the bar he noted that it was a mess with tables broken, broken glass and everyone was taking cover behind the bar. What's going on." Kai asked.

"Kai, run for it, before she-." Moxxi started to yell, but before she could finish Kai was tackled to the ground for the second time that day. Kai shook off the shock and suddenly found himself being straddled by a red faced red head who had a manic happy gleam in her eyes that spoke of unwanted trouble. He oddly found it hot.

"Kai! thare yer mah mukker, whaur hae ye bin a' forenicht. A've bin explaining tae thae scaredy skags howfur a wifie fights! 'N' howfur a real wifie holds her swally, drank Sal richt under th' buird."

"Ugggh translation anyone?" Kai asked in confusion at Gaige's new accent.

"She started acting like this about thirty minutes ago, after beating Salvador in a drinking contest." Moxxi said. As she pointed to the short man who was slumped over a nearby table.

"She then challenged Krieg to an arm wrestling match and threw him across the bar." Trixie stated as she pointed to a knocked-out Psycho who was on a broken chair.

"Since then she been arguing with anyone who comes in, looking for a fight, and demanding to know where her best mate is." Susan said as she peeked over the bar.

"Th' jimmy pat up a gid rammy, bit he coudnae beat mah wit 'n' mah tech. Awright, howfur aboot we gang oot 'n' fin' something tae rammy? a'm need a guid rammy." Gaige said.

While Kai wasn't knowledgeable about Gaige's current language, he at least got the gist of it. "You, you want to go for a hunt? Gaige is nearly eight o clock, aren't you tired?" Kai tried to persuade her from the idea.

"Fauchelt? Ah'ament fauchelt, a'm duin tae rammy fae gloaming till dawn! 'N' forby th' nicht is aye young, thir's plenty o' hings we kin gang murdurr." Gaige yelled as she jumped up and pulled out a familiar broadsword from somewhere.

"Wait, why do you have Dirk's sword, I thought I left that at home?"

"Doesn't maiter. Noo c'moan, we're pure burnin` moon light 'n' a'm waantin' tae fin' me a muckle auld badass tae slay!" Gaige cheered as she grabbed Kai's arm and dragged him from the bar and leaving a dust trail in the air.

As the barmaids stared after the teens, Moxxi looked around the bar that was now even more trashed than before and let out a sigh. "This is the part I hate about being pregnant, you can't get hammered when you need to."

"Speaking of hammered, I thought Gaige was a sad drunk." A voice from the door said. They all looked to see Maya walking around the dust and over the debris on the floor.

"That's what we thought, she went through five beers last time before she was a bumbling, crying mess." Abigail said.

"What did she have this time?" Maya asked.

"Nearly two bottles of top shelf scotch." Trixie stated.

"How's she still standing?"

"Don't know, we're still trying to just figure out why she's acting like a Scottish worrier." Susan said.

"C'moan Kai!" They all looked out the door to see Gaige running from the center of town in a kilt and red war paint adorning her cheeks. "Th' less time we spend 'ere th' mair time wull be oot killing beasts!" She yelled as she changed for Scooter place.

Kai came bolting from the same place, in his own kilt on now and blue war paint split his face in half. "Gaige! The fast travel is back the other way! Where are you going!?" He yelled as he chased after the little anarchist.

"Seriously, what happened!?" Maya asked.

"It's probably a case of multi-brew personality disorder." Everyone looked to see Salvador dragging himself off the table.

"I've heard of it, but I thought it was just a myth." Susan said.

"It's real, just extremely rare." Sal corrected.

"I've got seven degrees including business and drink mixing and I have never heard of that." Moxxi stated as Salvador dragged himself to the bar.

"You went to school? Where?" Maya asked as she gave Krieg a few light slaps to wake him up.

"Swigmore University, your one stop shop for every education in libation!"

"Catchy." Salvador muttered as he sat down. "Trix a water please. Now where was I. Oh right, it's a multi personality disorder that only appears when the person in question drinks a certain amount of booze."

"How's that different from being drunk normally?"

"Because each personality is connected to only one type of booze. An old man in my town who had it was an absolute idiot, nice guy, but a idiot. but when he drank regular beer, he was a genius inventor, had enough vodka he would act like a crazy Vladofion who wanted to wrestle with anyone or anything. Had wine, would act like a street mime, the Kids loved that one." Salvador said as he accepted the water glass Trixie brought him.

"So Gaige is one of these..." Moxxi fished.

"MBP's" Salvador answered.

"MBP's, is there a trend to each personality?"

"Only that each personality tends to follow a stereotypical personality of the culture that created the beverage. But even that varies. Same guy I mentioned acted like a cheerleader after enough brandy, and was an accountant after a bottle of Tequila."

"FREEEEEDOMMMM!" Gaige yelled as she ran back up the road towards the center of town, with a large hubcap in her left arm that she was carrying like a shield.

"Gaige, wait!" Kai yelled running after her with his own hubcap and a Katana on his back.

"Hey, get back here you crazy teens! You need to pay for those!" Scooter yelled as he chased them.

Everyone in the bar stared out the door until Maya let out a chuckle. "Well, this should be interesting… Does anyone want to start a new betting pool on what her other personalities will be?" And so for the rest of the evening they all brainstormed and made their bets.

X-X-X

Bonus

It was after seven in the morning when Kai finally made it home with a sleeping Gaige on his back still slurring out the occasional weak battle cry with blood covering her jacket and kilt. "Fuck I need some sleep." Kai muttered as he walked in and passed Tina who was working on something at the table.

"Hey bro."

"Hi Tina." He said tiredly. Kai suddenly stopped and looked at the chipper girl. "Tina, why are you at my apartment?"

"Because I'm living here now."

Kai was silent for a few moments. "Okay, and where exactly are you going to sleep? I only have two bedrooms and there not very big."

"I'm staying in the room in your basement."

"Basement? Tina this is a tower, I don't have a basement."

"You do now." She said as she pointed to the closet under the stairs. Kai set Gaige on the sofa before inspecting the closet. Immediately he noticed a hole blown in the floor with a crude ladder going into what looked like an unused bedroom.

"Tina what the hell!? What about the neighbor?"

"Oh don't worry, he dead yo."

"Dead!? Tina, what did you do?

"Let me explain."

Several hours before.

Tina was walking through Sanctuary to Kai's apartment after getting the address from Moxxi since that's where Morde decided to drink himself asleep. She came to the building and went to the door and knocked.

A minute later a man in a wrinkled business suit opened the door. "Who are you? Tina asked.

"Russell, who are you?

"Tiny Tina, is Kai in?

"Kai, oh you got the wrong apartment. He's up one flight."

"Ah, my mistake sir."

"It's fine young miss."

It was silent for a minute. So, would you be interested in joining the Holy Church of the IRS and being watched under the eyes of our holy God Tax-Sama? We give members bonuses on your yearly returns with a fixed interest rate." In an instant, his head was blown off and Russell's body fell back.

Tina had a Maliwan slag pistol in hand and a slightly panicked look. "Noooope, none of that bitch." Tina said before entering the apartment.

Present

"I checked the place out and sure enough he had what could be called a tax shrine in his living room which had a photo of some woman in a tight but boring suit with her face replaced by a 1040 tax form."

Kai stared at the girl for several seconds before letting out a sigh and pulling out his ECHO. He pressed a few buttons and got a ring which was quickly answered. "Marshal Friedman here."

"Hey Marshal, I'd like to report a murder."

"A murder, who is it?"

"My neighbor downstairs."

"Do you know who killed him?"

"Yeah, my sister." Kai said as he glanced to the said girl, who didn't looked phase at her brother calling the cops.

The marshal was silent for a moment. "You're reporting your own sister? . . . Wait who your sister?"

"Tiny Tina. Anyways she claims that the guy claimed to be a member of the Church of the IRS."

"Aaah okay, I'll send someone out to get the body and clean up the mess. Thought we got all of them, damn cultists."

"Yeah, the bastard must have been hiding out, when he met Tina thought he could spread his holy word to someone younger. Anyways when you send your guy over could you have them drop off some new zoning papers, my apartment is now apparently a four-bed, two-bath."

"Not a problem, been handing a number of those out today anyways. Have a good morning."

"Thanks, Marshal." Kai said before disconnecting. HHe then looked to Tina who gave him an innocent smile. "Anything else I should know about the new rooms?"

"Not if you ever want to sleep here peacefully." Tina said.

"Yeah, I'll pass." He said handing both his Katana, Dirk's sword, and a bloody bag to her.

"Do me a favor and clean the blood off the swords and take the bag to Hammerlock later. Tell him I wanted it clean and ready for a wall-mounted. I'm gonna be asleep for the next several hours." Kai muttered as he turned away.

"Sure thing bro." Tina said as Kai went upstairs. Tina looked in the bag and found the head of a Stalker with golden horns. "Huh, wonder what the story is with that?" Tina said.

X-X-X

-LINK REESTABLISHED-

-Resuming ECHO Review Log-

(Kilo) AND CUT! We've made it to the halfway point of the BL2 main story!

(Tina) And what a ride it was! SO MUCH BOOM!

(Torgue) *Sniff* It was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen, so much raw badassery. I feel ashamed that my character missed such a fight.

(Gaige) Hey, at least you are now finally on Pandora, which means you get to do more things now. More fight, more trucks, more explosions. The skys the limit buddy!

(Tina) EXPLOSIONS!

*Sniff* Yeah. Yeah! FUCK YEAH! MAOW OWW NAOW NAOW NAOW NAOWWWWW!

(Gaige) Actually Kilo you really went all out with this chapter, what gives?

(Kilo) This chapter is basically the tipping point of the series and is the coumination of nearly two years of ideas in my mind. We've cracked the insanity dial to eleven before, now we're going to eleven hundred!

(Gaige) Another question, what did you base Loggins dropship/gunship on?

(Kilo) Oh, I based it on the SA-2 Samson dropship from Avatar, only more Borderlands style to it.

(Gaige) I see… And the Norfleet, how did I get that? You can only farm it from Vermivorous the Invincible.

(Kilo) All I'll say is, keep an eye on future chapters from my Rebel Anarchy: Side Quest series. Speaking of which we've released two new chapters there in the last week! So if you haven't seen them or you just want more hilarities after reading this, then hope over and take a look.

(Gaige) Final question, this new condition were my personality changes depending on the alcohol I drink… Your not planning anything crazy with that right.

(Kilo) . . .

(Gaige) . . . Right?

(Kilo) No comment.

(Gaige) Fuck.

(Gaige) This is gonna be soooo entertaining. I can't wait to tell Moxxi.

(Kilo) Now then, onto the reviews.

CrimsonGeist, I'm glad you like the late night release, and seeing the release time of this one, your getting another one… I'm not making a habit of this. As for Rakkman, I don't know if you've realized it out of all the characters I made for the Fridge he's actually the only one that not my creation, he's a real character in the game. He appears as a side mission as mini boss, and makes another appearance in BL3. He might make a return here, but I have no plans as of now. Although considering the scope of this story, and more importantly how cool the Fridge is now who knows.

Silentslender, no that wasn't a fevered dream, thats Borderlands. There's a reason it rated M. Now as for the confession, sorry, no confession yet. You'll just have to wait.

(Tina) You know Moxxi's gonna kill you when she hears about this.

She can try. Master Lumine Omega. . . I hereby accept your apology and give you not an oil bath, but a burning oil field filled with so much scrap that make the USAF boneyard look like a recycle bin! Now witness the awesomeness that is DT! MONSTER SLAYER! ARMY KILLER! THE HAROLD OF HOT COCOA! . . . Gaige did you change my script?

(Gaige) . . . No.

(Kilo) . . . Whatever, anyways sorry Omega, good guess on Mister Torgue landing this chapter, you just got the wrong coordinates.

TheRealShenron, I must apologies, while I know about the Metal gear series I've never actually played it. I was making a slight reference to SAO Abridged episode 9. While the original Sword Art Online series is. . . . You guys what to help me with this?

(Gaige) Unrealistic character development and an uninspired plot.

(Tina) A royal pile of poo.

(Torgue) Sh*tty as F*CKING Sh*t!

(Kilo) Yes. The fan made Abridged series on YouTube is awesome! A real gem in the rough with exilent character development, I actually take a LOT of inspiration from that series and have made several references to it over the years. . . Ha, meat toboggan. It a great show to watch if you want to kill three hours and give your funny bone a workout.

Anyways that's all for this episode Vault Hunters, if you would be so kind please leave a review as I always like to hear what you all think of my story. If you want to help, join the Discord for more info on the story or to make suggestions, links at the top or PM me. All suggestions are welcome, I just reserve the right to choose what goes or not. Speaking of the Discord I'd like to thank PanzerKampfWagonJager and The Killer Mohawk, those two are always helping out when I'm hung up on an idea. Mohawk just the other day knocked me onto the idea for the Church of the IRS during one such Discord chat, thanks buddy!

If your new here remember to follow or favorite so that you don't miss any more awesomeness, you all don't want to miss the next chapter, that gonna be an adventure for our two Vault Hunters. So until next time Vault Hunters, Kilo8 out! Torgue, HIT THE BUTTON!

(Torgue) GOT IT!

*BZZZT*

-ECHO Review Log Terminated-