Chapter 14: The First City

"My feet hurt…"

"This fly needs to fuck off…"

"Does no one see that colossally humongous monster walking in the distance?!"

As I heard the complaints of our new group members, I couldn't help but sigh heavily. This had been going for a day now, and it was irritating the shit out of me.

How did these people survive before they met us? I thought to myself.

"Shut up, you goddamn babies. I've had to listen to this shit for an entire day now, and I'm about to send you on your way if you keep it up."

I could sense the fear that went around the young adults, who quickly closed their mouths. I was glad to have Stan on my side for this one.

Rrrrrrggggghhhh….

I felt a shiver run down my spine as I started to tune in to my surroundings, and unfortunately started to hear the sounds of monsters in the distance. Shrieking, roaring, growling…

It was something straight out of a horror movie.

"So...where you guys from?"

Dipper heard the question come from Josh, who seemed to be the most outgoing, next to Amy.

I was at first suspicious of answering that question, as was fitting for my paranoid nature. However, I overcame my guarded attitude to respond.

"Well, uh...when I first...gained consciousness, I guess is how you would put it...I, uh, was in a forest of sorts, on top of a large hill. And…"

Dipper's eyes wandered over towards Mabel, who was hiking along beside him, seemingly halfway recovered from whatever illness had befallen her prior.

"...Mabel here was next to me."

I only happened to notice that she reacted with some form of relief to hear me finally call for her name. I was about to be disgusted by her presence once again, yet I hesitated. I didn't find her consolation to be one that was out of any form of pleasure, but rather pure relief. Why, though?

"Thank you, Dipp-"

It shocked me to suddenly see Mabel fall to her knees and vomit onto the ground below, everyone turning their eyes to witness the sorrowful sight.

Among the refuse that had come out, I noticed a half-digested rotten apple laying in the bile, and I felt a pit of guilt open up in my heart.

At sudden, there was a strong grip around my arm, and I looked up to see Stan pulling me off to the side of the group. After walking a few meters, Stan took a hard stare at me, his eyes filled with anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Dipper?!"

"Wh-what?"

"I saw you look at that grimy apple. I tasked you with feeding her back at the warehouse, and you give her a goddamn rotten fruit? How much of a piece of shit can you be?!"
I felt a mix between indignance and shame.

"I...She..."

"She's sick, Dipper! She was injured, nearly died, and you decide to feed her shit."

Fuck you, old crone!

I'll kill you and whoever else I want!

You're burdens to me!

I felt dark thoughts cloud my head, violent tendencies build up in my body, and in an act of unchecked defiance, my left hand balled into a fist and struck Stan across the face. For a moment, both he and I were shocked by the sudden attack.

…

…

…

I then saw his face turn scarlet-red, and within seconds, my face was shoved into the dirt, Stan prowling over me as he hissed in my ear.

"I should leave you little shits here to rot! You can be ripped to shreds by the monsters for all I care!"

As these words of abuse were hurled at me, I began to cry and shiver in fear, the realization of the terrible abuse I had inflicted upon Mabel.

"All you kids do is piss me off, undermining me at every step of the way! There's no end to your stupidity OR your unpredictability!"

Why she was so relieved when I didn't immediately treat her with disgust.

"Clawed to death, burnt, stabbed, dismembered, eviscerated, castrated, decapitated, by those monsters! That's what'll happen to you if you keep FUCKING with me!"

And yet, even past all that, she still looked at me like I was her everything. Like I was something.

"What the hell is wrong with you people?! Did you lose your sanity along with your humanity?!"

I deeply wanted to apologize to Mabel right now, for all the terrible things I had said to her. Despite what she did in the past, she did it out of the best interest for me.

"Why did I even go along with you fools? Just to witness you tear each other apart?!"

Now that I realized just how easily other people could break, I wanted so desperately to be around Mabel, someone familiar, someone...I loved.

"Leave each other alone, and ENOUGH with the rivalry- AAAH!"

Stan, at sudden, let out a cry of pain as a hard whack was heard. He fell over to the side, unconscious, a large welt on his head. I looked up to see Mabel, standing over me, makeshift cudgel in hand. Despite her sickness, the fire in her eyes burned brightly.

"Are...are you okay, Dipper-"
What happened next I could not explain rationally, nor could I appeal to anyone of decent morality about my decision. I got up from the ground, relief and a swelling filling my chest, and grabbed Mabel by her shoulders, bringing her close.

And I kissed her.

In the moment, I was filled with a joyous feeling, one that I was too fulfilled with to be absolutely sickened by. I held the kiss for moments, feeling the warmth that radiated off of Mabel.

Sweet...sugary…

Oh, god, what am immeasurable relief from the depraved, sick, twisted atmosphere of this vast wasteland.

My eyes were closed, but I could feel Mabel melt into my arms as we embraced one another tightly, both out of reassurance and love.

Finally, I let go, taking my lips off of hers. I gazed into her eyes, seeing a bright, ecstatic look in the shades of her pupils.

"Dipper…"

I could not possibly explain what madness drove me to commit such a morally indecent action. I could not rationalize why. All I knew was, in that moment, within this horrific nightmare of a world…

I was happy.

And now that I thought about it, why should I have to resist such an urge to cherish love, even if it was debauched? What moral compass could one possibly have in such a place as this, filled with monsters, deviants, fanatics and depravity?

There was none. I could do whatever I wanted in this new world, and there would be no one who could hold it against me. It would merely be another facet to fuel this ever-growing nightmare that I couldn't seem to escape.

"By the gods above, how wicked, how sinful, how depraved! Such an act of Oedipal love, unchecked and encouraged by your own perverted emotions and carnal desires! O, how licentious and promiscuous! Surely, you will not consummate this incestuous act before my very eyes?! I would have no choice but to dunk my these black marbles into a pool of acid and bleach, to cleanse my sight's palate of these degenerative actions befitting of the lowest common denominator!"

I heard Soos' rambling as he scrambled over here like a goblin, though I decided to tune him out, as I was not in the mood for his drivel. I released Mabel from my arms, much to her disappointment, and turned to look at the still-unconscious Stan, then towards the very confused and shocked group of our traveling partners.

I decided to look to the horizon, towards where we were heading. Within the distance, around a few miles away, I spotted what looked to be a clustering of cities.

That must be...Richmond.

Despite having not kept any memories of my life before this hell, I still pertained what seemed to be a fountain of knowledge in many areas, from math and science to mythology and geographical locations.

Now that we were within sight of a form of civilization, I turned my head back to the group members. I was filled with confidence, all from a simple kiss.

And yet, at what cost to your dignity? My inner thought chirped maliciously. To your pride? Your morality? These are the actions of reprobates.

I crassly ignored my inner thoughts. I was not interested in a morality lesson, especially not when I was living in an environment of constant hostility and moral ambiguity.

"Listen up, guys," I started, catching their attention. "We're going to head towards Richmond, and we'll be scavenging the outer parts of the cities for supplies. From there, we'll figure out what to do."

The members nodded nervously, clearly sensing some power shift in leadership. I was inspired by their fear. I felt...powerful.

Surely, these feelings were natural and righteous?

Then again, it didn't matter what was righteous or not in this climate. I had plenty of justification for acting however I pleased.

"Now, Josh, Sean. You two help carry Stan. If we can find some form of a stretcher when we get there, that should make things easier."

They groaned as the thought of hauling around a big old man was dreadful, but complied nonetheless, moving over to pick up his unconscious figure. I nodded in satisfaction.
"Now, let's get moving."

Within a dozen minutes or so, we had arrived at the base of the city, where the ground was starting to turn from dirt and gravel to cracked concrete, and the air was starting to fill with the smell of an overwhelming amount of death. My nerves were on edge as the air was pervaded with that all-too-familiar scent of corpse. Despite my familiarization to the sickening smell, my traveling partners were less than pleased.

"My god! What the hell is that?!" Amy exclaimed, pinching her nose as the group was walking.

"It's the rotting bodies of those that couldn't escape the monsters…"

My answer was a bit morbid and surprising to myself, but especially so to my group members, who fell into silence as their questions were answered grimly.

"You can bog it down if you take a cloth and tie it around the lower part of your face like a bandana." I stated simply. I had the done the same thing when I first came upon a town during my first week of discovery in this world, though now I had gotten used to the smell.

They followed through with what I said quickly, ripping apart some cloths and tying them around their mouths.

"...Thanks, Dipper." Amy said. I nodded to her, continuing my trek down the path.

Eventually, I noticed that a large highway, running over a wide-spanning river with several rocks noticeable over the surface, was the only way into the city from where we were. The highway itself was clogged with abandoned vehicles, most of them torn up, exploded, or having had some other catastrophe befall their metal bodies.

"Alright, we're gonna have to-"

I was interrupted by my planning as I broke into a fit of intense coughing. Amy came up to inspect me with worry.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-Yes, I'm fine…"

In all actuality, I was not very fine. Recently, I had felt a creeping weakness begin to set upon my body, and these coughing fits had increased slowly but gradually since I had left the warehouse. I wasn't sure if I had caught some disease from that dreary place, but I hoped I could find some form of antibiotics before anything serious happened.

Aside from that, I felt my eyes wander over to Stan, who was beginning to stir from his unconscious state. I had been thinking about how to approach him when he woke up, and I decided that, despite his angry outburst, he could be reasoned with.

"Put Stan down." I ordered to Sean and Josh, who complied by releasing his limbs from their hands.

"Wait, not so-"

"OW!"

"..Ugh…"

Stan was stirred from his unconscious state, looking up and around groggily. It took a few moments, but Stan was finally gaining a bearing of the past events that transpired. His eyebrows furrowed in anger as he made eye contact with me, and began getting up.

"Goddamn you, Dipper! Who do you think you are, hitting me-"

"Wait, Stan!"

My urgent exclamation stopped him in his tracks, though he kept a hard gaze on me.
"I didn't hit you. Mabel did."

His head swiveled towards Mabel, who I noticed subtly had her club out in case anything happened. I was thoroughly impressed by her sudden change in how she was able to adapt to the situation and my intentions with Stan, as rather than resorting to killing or threatening, she would now keep guard and anticipate a serious threat.

She must have learned from the past, I thought to myself. I couldn't help but feel an immeasurable relief from this discovery. I felt as if I had things under control, now.

"Damn brat…" Stan muttered, though his anger seemed to have lessened.

"Listen, Stan, do you remember what you did before you...fell unconscious?"

Stan was about to spout a retort, when he seemed to realize what I was referring to. His eyes flickered downwards, and I could see a hint of shame in his eyes.

"...Yes, I do, but…"

"I understand what I did was wrong, but I've bridged the gap with Mabel." I stated. "I want to leave it there, but I also want you to understand that what you did in response was extremely...cruel."

Stan said nothing.

"But...Stan...I want you to know that I appreciate your leadership, and your help. I'm not trying to usurp command from you, nor am I trying to harm you...Okay?"

I noticed Mabel inching towards me from the side, seemingly attempting to create a barrier of protection between me and Stan. I felt another strong surge of affection towards her as I noticed the action. It was indescribably wonderful to have someone look out for me so strongly.

"I love you, Dipper." Mabel muttered, before turning to me and planting a kiss on my lips. I was filled with another sense of ease and reassurance, breaking off the kiss as I slowly leaned away.

"I...love you too, Mabel."

I just then realized what I was doing in front of Stan, and I looked over to see him disgusted and appalled by the sight.

"Wha...Wha…" He muttered. He gagged, covering his mouth for a moment.

…

…

…

Stan got up from his place, trudging towards Mabel and I. Instinctively, I lowered my hand to my side, where my knife was tucked. To my surprise, Stan brushed past both of us, moving on towards one of the nearby buildings, a bar.

"What the hell am I doing…"

I felt a mound of relief wash off the tension as I suspected that Stan had now violent plans in mind, though I felt guilty for assuming the worst from him.

"Damn, I guess he's not used to young love, is he?" Josh commented idly. I realized that he wasn't aware of my relationship with Mabel, and I decided it would not be ideal to make him aware.

"Well, what now, Dipper?"

I looked back at Amy, who had addressed the question.

"Well, we should get to searching."

"Why don't we just send the bots?"

I had just then remembered the presence of the bot army that surrounded us. I had almost forgot about them, as they seemed to blend into the background in a very odd way.

"Well, we tried that one time, but I don't think they have the capability to measure what is valuable to us or not. They can protect you guys while you search."

Amy nodded her head.

"Alright, we'll get to it."

I heard a tired sigh from Vito, the short Italian. Now that I thought about it, I had noticed Vito was actually quite old, telling us he was 54 while we were on a trek for the past day. I didn't want to cause his demise by over-pushing him, so I decided to get creative.

"Vito, since you have more experience in, uh, life, why don't you oversee the search, and decide what's particularly valuable and what's crap?"

Vito looked at me with a grateful expression.

"Sounds great. Thank, Dipper."

I couldn't lie, I was starting to feel a hubris begin to grow in my mind, though I made sure that I would keep myself in check. I was starting to become more self-aware, and with self-awareness comes the ability to improve oneself. I did not want to screw up what I had now.

"Soos, can you direct the bots to protec-"

"Not a problem, NOT a problem! There is a simple solution, to- FACETIOUS HUMOR- don't get your panties in a knot, now!"

"...Thanks. Actually, while you're doing that, I might need you to do something for me, Soos."

"Oh? On GOD?!"

I had an idea brewing in my head for a couple days now, especially since seeing Soos' astounding mechanical abilities.

"Soos, I was wondering if you could design some sort of...vehicle...that can carry all of us, but doesn't make any sound."

As I had noticed in the past, especially with seeing a few passing vehicles, they tended to make sound that would attract all types of monsters, and most that I had the chance to witness were either ripped apart by monsters, including the passengers inside, or we found them ripped apart further down the trail. Thus, a vehicle that moved without making sound. Soos seemed to take a liking to this idea.

"Yes, YES! What an idea, one befitting of an autistic savant!"

"Wait, what-?"

Before I could confront Soos, he sped off, running towards one of the abandoned buildings with a few bots in tow. I sighed in relief. I had everything worked out as of right now. All except…

I looked towards the bar, where Stan had receded into. As much as I wanted to leave him be, I wasn't sure if his relations with me were in any way fixed. I decided it would be best to go and see how he was doing, or at least try and rebuild whatever barriers I had burned prior.

As I was about to make my way in with Mabel, who was walking alongside me, I considered making her stay outside. After all, Stan witnessed the kiss between her and I, and as much as I had a different view to the newfound relationship, I was much more sure that Stan was revolted by it.

"Welp, this going to be...difficult."

Pushing open the double doors, I entered the bar to find the place to be in a somewhat stable state. Aside from the mess caused from what seemed to be panicked customers, as well as some broken bottles, the interior was not dilapidated in any way.

And there, sitting at the bar on a stool, was Stan, who was indulging himself to a few bottles of whiskey. As I came forward, I noticed that the first whiskey bottle was already half empty. I was a bit discouraged, as confronting a drunken man was already not a good way to start off.

As I tentatively approached the bar, my footsteps squeaked on the floorboards, and Stan slightly tilted his head to the right.

"Jesus Christ…" He muttered, before going back to drinking.

I got up to the counter, taking a seat next to him. I noticed a rectangular mirror stretched along the entirety of the bar opposite of our heads, allowing me to see Stan's defeated expression as he downed the whiskey.

Silence grew on as Stan continued drinking, taking moments to stare at the reflection in the mirror.

…

…

…

"This is hell."

I glanced over at Stan as he remarked the statement.

"Well, yeah, but...we should at least try to make the best of it."

Stan took another swig before responding.

"...And here I thought you were the pessimist of the group…"

"Well, that's changed now. There's a lot I've realized over this short span of time. Now that I'm more organized, my mind is clear."

"Organized, huh? What a fuckin' joyous time…"

Another moment of silence, another swig from the bottle.

"Stan, I...I don't want there to be any bad blood between us, considering what happened from before-"

"Listen, kid. I want to tell you something before I forget it in my damn stupor."

I closed my mouth, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"The moment I met you two, when you entered my shack...I felt a strong sense of familiarity. Your mannerisms, your actions, your words...They all sounded so...familiar. Mabel, despite her aggressive nature….She wasn't like that always. I'm sure of that. And you, Dipper...I feel as if you had a spark about you, as if you were optimistic, curious, courageous...I don't...I don't feel like this world is the real one. Like...Like there's a problem, or that this whole place was changed, or….I don't fuckin' know."

Another swig of the bottle.

"...Right now, I can't look at you, Dipper. You were first bullying and trying to get rid of your sister, and now...Now...You're fucking...kissing her...What the hell...I...I can't possibly understand what's going on in your mind...And I don't want to…"

Another swig.

"I...I don't know what other advice to give you...I...I care for you, but...this is just...wrong. Immoral. I have to resist the urge to vomit just thinking about-"

Stan gagged, covering his mouth as a thought occurred to him.

"...You two...need to...I don't know...but this...this is just...fucking sick."
Another moment passed. I was about to open my mouth to justify my actions.

"Don't try to explain it to me, Dipper...please...I don't want to hear it. I can't possibly fathom justifying sick actions, even if you live in a sick world, even if you're surrounded by constant sickness..."

"...Just...leave me be."

"But-"

"Leave me be."

His tone was a little more forceful the second time, which made me feel a little ashamed of myself. I decided I would leave him alone for now, sliding out of my seat. As I made my way out of the bar, I looked back at Stan once more. He took another swig of the bottle, almost all of it empty at this point, and felt a sadness pick at my heart.

I turned my head and exited the bar.