The Robin Hood of Ruffians (Ch. IV)
After a whole bout of guffawing by Ames and massive protest by Stan by the twins' most recent idea, they left the Oversized Arsenal to go and explore the slums they were at, promising to stay within three blocks of the OA and to mark out their hiding place.
As they moved down the block, Dippens marveled over how mechanically-ingrained the city was. Wherever they went, pipes would jut out of the sides of buildings and lead into other ones, wires stretched across over alleyways and streets, and street lights lined the sidewalks. The occasional walkway with ornate glass and reinforced steel would lead from one prominent building to another, allowing for citizens to look down over the streets and sidewalks below.
Dippens looked down the street, then swept his gaze upwards, noticing that structures with more stories and height were layered on raised foundations, almost like a wedding cake style. His eyes sparkled as he witnessed a blimp slowly emerge from behind one of those buildings, floating by almost leisurely. His torso swiveled towards Margery as he took a moment from his gazing.
"Margery, this place is a bloody mecca of machinery! There are so many different functions, so much to gaze at- FACKIN' 'ELL, PUT THAT AWAY YOU DIM-LIT MINCH!"
He was interrupted by the excited giggling of Margery as she pulled out her billy club, swinging it around nonchalantly. She was disappointed as he came up and pushed down the billy club she was holding.
"Marge, ya can't be wavin' that thing 'round so much! We 'ave no bloody idea what kind of things are allowed in this 'ere place!"
Margery's face dropped in disappointment as she slowly lowered the baton in her hand, but quickly she became confused.
"Why are you speaking like that?"
Dippens raised his hands with an expression of 'really?'.
"You 'ave to blend in wit' ya surroundin's, Marge. Oim bloody sure these knob-'eads speak just loike this."
Marge's eyes widened, as if she had discovered something amazing.
"I didn't think about that!"
Dippens rotated his hands, as if encouraging her to take on this routine.
"Oh- I mean, I didn't bloo'y fink abou' dat!"
Dippens cringed in regret.
"...Is that really what I sound like? Uh...nevermind, then. Let's drop the accents."
Marge seemed very disappointed by this.
"Get back 'ere, ya mangy cunt!"
The twins whipped their heads around to witness a small figure running down the middle of the cobblestone street in the distance, being chased by what Dippens discerned to be a group of heavily-armed guards of some sort, with flintlock pistols and varying swords. In the night, it was difficult to discern the look of both the pursuers and their target, but Dippens could see that the street was somewhat packed, and so the small figure was able to navigate between the crowds much more easily than the pursuers.
"Looks like trouble." Dippens commented nervously. It wouldn't be ideal to get into such bad business, especially as they were completely naive to this city and its landscape politically, economically and socially. He turned his head towards Margery. "Come on, Marge, we should get-"
"Dips, watch out!"
"Wha- AAAH!" Dippens exclaimed as he felt something slam into his torso, tumbling down.
"AAH!" A smaller voice echoed, and Dippens had realized the figure had bumped into him in her pursuit. He looked down to see the figure trying to get up, but struggled as their legs were entangled.
"Get off me, you damn lug!" The voice piped up, high-pitched and full of distress. Dippens realized it was a young girl from the feminine sound of her voice.
"You ran into me, you churlish fop!" Dippens fired back.
They finally untangled themselves from one another, but not before the pursuers had finally caught up.
"Bloody 'ell, you fackin' twit." One of them cursed at the young girl, seemingly out of breath from running. "You pu' us through a long fackin' marathon. I'm gonna beat you senseless 'fore I take ya back to Krayma. I'm sure he wouldn't mind us roughin' up the li'l bitch that robbed 'im."
From what Dippens saw, the man, who was surrounded by 5 more of his cohorts, all brandishing various weaponry, was average sized, not too tall nor too short, but was well-built. His defined muscles gripped the bat in his hands in an intimidating manner, a malicious grin rippling across his face.
The girl got up, hiding behind Dippens, who was surprised to suddenly be in the middle of this heated confrontation. The man tilted his head slightly as he noticed the action.
"You protectin' this li'l shit, boy? I suggest you step ou'a the way 'fore I assume ya mixed in wit' 'er."
Dippens was torn between a moral duty to help this little girl from these clearly brutish thugs, and to step out of the way from a situation he really had no business being in.
We're outnumbered, outclassed, and outgunned, Dippens thought nervously. Maybe it'd be better to just leave this be…
The man stepped forward and out of his crowd of lackeys, gripping his bat tighter in a show of force.
"Did you fackin' 'ear me, you li'l twit? I said get the fuck ou'a the-"
CRACK!
(Queue 'Bloody Presto con Brio' by Austin Wintory)
Dippens witnessed with shock as Margery's club came flying out of nowhere and cracked the brute across the face, sending blood spittle and a few teeth flying out of his mouth. He stumbled to the side, looking up on pained outrage at his assailant.
"Whoh't the f'hack-"
SMACK!
Another raised blow cracked him across the face, sending him collapsing into the ground. Dippens watched in horror as Margery ruthlessly beat at the brute huddled on the ground, bashing his torso and raised arms with the club and kicking him in the stomach repeatedly.
Finally, one of the thugs, who had snapped out of the shock, rushed forward in anger, raising a lead pipe and charging her. Dippens darted forward as the thug brought down the pipe, parrying it off of his cane. As the thug's weapon slid downwards and he stumbled forward, Dippens cracked him over the back with the cane, causing him to fall to the ground with a pained grunt.
The two of the remaining three brutes standing decided to charge Dippens in the moment, and Dippens recoiled in fear as he realized he was outnumbered and definitely not skilled enough to take on two enemies at once.
Whizzz-Thunk!
"AAAAAAAAHHHH!" One of the bandits screamed as a small arrow slammed into his arm, and Dippens quickly looked over to see the little girl, having pulled back her sleeve to reveal a small crossbow mounted to her wrist in a mechanized fashion. She nodded grimly, pulling out a small dagger and rushing into battle.
Dippens turned back to the last brute confronting him, who had taken a moment to witness his friend drop to the ground in agony at the arrow in his arm. Dippens used this moment to slam the end of the cane into the man's stomach, causing the brute to grunt in pain and fold over, before Dippens cracked him over the head. The brute fell to the ground, dazed and incapacitated.
"PHLEASE, SHTOP! SHTOP!"
Dippens noticed that Margery was still beating away mercilessly at the first man, who was now oozing blood all over the cobblestone street. The sight sickened and shocked Dippens.
"What the hell, Marge?!" He began. "He's already down, quit-"
It was then he noticed the last brute, in a desperate attempt, charging at her with a hatchet and screaming in desperation. Dippens bolted forward with his cane, but realized he wouldn't be able to get there in time-
Whizzzz-Thunk!
Dippens watched as the thug keeled over in agony, dropping his hatchet and falling to the ground, and Dippens' head swiveled over to the little girl, whose wrist crossbow was aimed at the thug, before lowering it. She nodded at him.
Margery quickly turned around and kicked the former assailant in the side of the head, causing him to yell in pain, before turning to Dippens, her eyes alight with a brutality Dippens hadn't seen before.
"My god...that was so bloody fun, Dips!" She squealed in delight, jumping up and down in glee with her bloodied club. Dippens sighed in relief, looking down at his sword cane. He started to realize just how reliable and strong it was, after reminiscing on how the cane cracked down on the thug's back without a sense of breaking or fracturing.
"Fuckin' 'ell, these things are-"
"Amazing, I know!" Mabel interrupted, looking around at the carnage. "Damn, we really gave them a whackin'!"
But Dippens had already tuned her out, turning to the approaching young girl in the hood walking towards them cautiously.
"Thank you," She muttered. "For...savin' my life."
Dippens was a bit taken aback by the gratitude. He'd never been thanked for something like this in his life, so it was a bit of a shocker to receive one.
"Well…" He scratched the back of his head, chuckling lightly. "I mean...it was no biggie, really."
And yet, he was starting to slowly realize the predicament he had gotten himself into as his eyes glanced by the unconscious or groaning, battered bodies next to them.
Whatever, He thought to himself. I don't think we'll come across them again.
"Should we kill 'em?"
Dippens' eyes widened as he heard Margery propose the idea.
"Wha-What?! You want to execute these people after we beat them in a fight?!"
Margery shrugged.
"I mean, they were gonna kill us either way. Might as well make sure they don't come back to try sumn'."
And yet, Dippens shook his head thoroughly.
"We just defended ourselves, Marge. We're not gonna start executin' people, even if they come back for us. I don't want to cross that line."
Margery bit her lower lip in dissatisfaction.
"Fine, then. But don't say I didn't warn you for the future."
"Dips, is it?"
Dippens turned towards the younger hooded girl, who prompted the question.
"Uh, Dippens, actually. And this is Margery."
He gestured to Margery, who waved politely.
The girl looked up at him, and Dippens got a glance of her dark brown eyes. She looked down once more, seemingly shy.
"Erm...I know this is a bit...crude of me to ask, but...now that there's a bounty on me 'ead, bounty hunters and other distasteful people are gonna start lookin' for me and tryin' 'ta take me to that bastard who put it on me in the first place-"
"Wait," Dippens interrupted. "There's a bounty on your head?"
The girl looked to become more cautious after hearing the sentence, as if he and his sister would suddenly turn on her.
"W-Well, uh-"
"We're not gonna try to take you in. I mean, we just beat down these guys..."
"Ellie. Ellie Parlow."
"Ellie. Hell, I mean, we're new to this city as it is-"
He stopped his sentence, thinking of how foolish it was to reveal naivete to someone in a foreign setting. However, Ellie seemed to respond positively to this info.
"Really? Well, I was goin' to say, if ya guys got a place that I can stay at, I'd be glad to help ya learn about the city. It's…" She distanced her hands in an exaggerated gesture to demonstrate the scale of the city, blowing air out of her mouth with wide eyes to further emphasize the point. "...Whaddya say?"
Margery shrugged.
"I've not a problem with that."
Dippens turned to Margery, annoyance plain on his face.
I wish she wouldn't up and go say this stuff right out the gate, He thought to himself. I wish she hadn't attacked that thug without any thoughts about it, either.
He sighed. It was too late now, and he saw no point to turn her away, especially since she proved trustworthy by saving both him and his sister in that fight.
"Alright, then. Follow us."
He was curious to note why she showed the slightest hint of confusion in her eyes, though it quickly turned to gratitude as she followed them back to their place.
"And so I told this guy, 'Why in the fuck would I give you five of my best men?" Ames chatted, Stanley listening idly as he leaned against his own chair. "And by this time, you know, he was just blabbering away about some 'eldritch secret' deep within some spooky island off the coast. I couldn't listen to anymore of it, so we just binded him and threw him on the side of the road and walked on."
"Oh yeah, I've definitely had my encounter of crazy kooks in my time. There was this one guy- Oh hold on a second. Hey, Solomon!"
From around the corner, a hulking mass of muscle, over 8 feet tall, came stumbling out, responding to Stanley with a deep, grating voice.
"Yes, Mr. Boss Man!"
Ames shifted in his seat slightly, still uncomfortable with the massive presence of this monstrous man. The first time Stanley called him out, Ames had pulled his sword in fear that Stanley had meant for Ames to be dealt with. Even now, his nerves were on edge from just being around him.
Nonetheless, it seemed to him that Solomon had no animosity or hostility within him whatsoever. As he came out, Stanley told him to bring more wine for the cups they were drinking out of, and Solomon bowed his head obediently, running off to go fetch the bottle.
"God, where did you get that monster?" Ames whispered to Stanley, once he was sure Solomon was out of earshot. Stanley grinned in a very smug fashion, noticing the discomfort in Ames' voice.
"Found him on the street in another city I was visiting, in a box. You wouldn't believe how heavy he was to carry even as a newborn- Oh, look who's arrived! Wait who's that?" He turned towards the entrance, seeing Dippens and Margery come in plus a hooded little girl. They waved at Stanley and Ames and started heading over to the table.
"Here's the wine, Mr. Boss Man!"
Dippens turned around to see who was speaking, and nearly had a heart attack to witness a hulk lumbering towards them. In a panic, he raised his cane in abject fear.
"Dippens, it's fine!" Stanley interjected. "Put the damn cane down. That's Solomon." He said, pointing at the beast with the bottle, which fit comfortably in one hand because Solomon's mitts were so huge.
Dippens slowly lowered his cane, studying Solomon. He noticed Ellie had reacted in the same fashion, having raised her wrist crossbow.
"Why didn't you introduce him to us earlier?" He asked.
"He was out getting groceries." Stanley remarked with a grin. "And because of his...charms, oftentimes he gets some great discounts."
Meanwhile, Margery was looking up at Solomon, her eyes lighting up in delight.
"Hello, Sully!" She shouted, drawing his attention. He smiled at her, which was surprisingly wholesome and cute in contrast to his shocking size.
"Hello." He responded, and Dippens started to wonder, by the tinge of dumbness in his voice, if this man was all up there in the head.
From there, Margery and Sully, as he was now known, went off as Margery invited him to come talk about trivial things. Ellie watched them walk off elsewhere with a disturbed expression.
"How...what…"
"Try not to put too much thought into it." Dippens said with a sigh, walking up to the table Ames and Stanley were lounging at. "This is Ellie. She wants to bunk here for now, and in exchange she'll share a lot of info she has on the city-"
"Woah woah woah." Stanley interrupted. "Hold on. Why does she have to bunk here?"
Dippens seemed hesitant to answer, and Ames watched the spectacle without speaking.
"Well...she may be...a bit...wanted by the Nobility District…"
"What?!" Stanley exclaimed. "Why the hell are you giving refuge to someone wanted by some of the most powerful people in this city?! What the hell did she do to get wanted by them?! They rarely put bounties on people!"
"I stole a lot of money from the nobles there," Ellie intervened, realizing that Dippens wasn't defending her very well. "Then I gave it to the poor in the lower districts."
Stanley gave her a look of 'Fuck's wrong with you?" while Ames laughed his ass off, slapping his knee and everything.
"You invited Robin Hood's little sister in our humble abode!" He guffawed.
Stanley sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"What kind of fuckin' fantasy bullshit does this city bring?" He inquired to himself. "First it was that damn elephant crisis, then the meteor, then those fuckin' sand tribes, and now this. It's only been a month!"
Dippens was very curious as to what events he was referencing, half-wishing he got to witness such spectacles.
"Well...what benefits could you possibly offer that would make us even consider harboring a fugitive like you-"
"I know the locations of several banks around the nobility district, and the various ways to get in. Even if they've been closed off because of me, I know many other hidden paths and routes into their precious treasuries."
"Welcome aboard!" Stanley stated, standing up and shaking her hand profusely. Dippens was flabbergasted by his 180, but not as much as Ames was. He stood up in outrage.
"What the hell! You're actually letting her stay?! Trusting her not to screw us over like she did with those nobles she robbed, if her stories are even true?"
"They are true!" Dippens interjected suddenly. "Me and Marge saw a group of thugs chasing her down, talking about how she robbed some bosses of this 'Kramer' guy or somebody-"
"Woah woah, did you say Kramer?"
Dippens stared at Ames with confusion.
"Um...yeah, what about it?"
Ames let out a frustrated groan, taking a seat and leaning over, seemingly contemplating something.
"Fuckin' shit."
"What?" Dippens asked nervously.
Ames sighed ominously, leaning back against his chair.
"Guess he settled down. I knew him for some time, a real brutish piece of work. From when I last saw him on the road, he was leading a band of over 250 mercenaries."
Stanley huffed.
"It'd be typical of the nobility in this city to hire mercs as their personal henchmen. That's how the CC got to be one of the most powerful gangs around."
Dippens tilted his head in curiosity.
"CC?"
"Caesar's Ciphers, the biggest gang in the city, and undoubtedly one of the most powerful syndicates across Erona. They have influence across every sector of this place and beyond, and they're rumored to have a direct connection to the Royal Family."
Knock, knock.
Everyone looked towards the door.
"The hell?" Stanley said aloud. "Everyone that approaches that door is either trying to bust it down or is allowed in here. Is this my first door-to-door salesman?"
Dippens walked over towards the door, readying his cane. He peeked through the peephole.
"What the…"
On the other side, from what he could see, a young, 20ish something man was standing there nervously, fiddling with his fingers. He had the look of your average thug, wearing a grey flatcap, a worn vest, and black pants. He didn't seem to have any threatening presence, but Dippens remained skeptical.
"Who the fuck is it?" He said loudly, trying to sound intimidating. The man jumped slightly.
"U-Um...Hi. Uh...I'm here to...erm...join?"
"...Join what?"
"...We-well...I saw yous on the street, fightin' an' stuff, and I just got, like, really into it, you know? I'd, uh, i'd love to fight and do some cool shit loike that. So, uh...can I join? Your gang, I mean."
Dippens was taken aback by the suggestion, but also seriously intrigued.
"I'll...get back to you on that."
"O-Okay."
Dippens receded from the door, immediately running over to where Ames and Stanley were sitting.
"Guys, guys! He wants to join our gang!"
Stanley, who was in the midst of sipping his wine, nearly choked on the beverage as the words graced his ears, coughing profusely, while Ames facepalmed.
"Our WHAT?!"
"This is unreal…"
"Well, I mean-"
"I'm sorry," Stanley interrupted. "But when exactly did we turn into a gang?"
"Fucking hell." Ames grumbled. "I didn't come here to get involved in the bullshit that this town is clearly on. It's been, what, half a day? How the fuck did this even happen?"
"Well…"
Ames and Stanley stared Dippens down, and the withering stares were too much for him.
"I-I'm sorry! We got involved in some shit with Ellie, and those guys I was talking about, and we kinda beat the shit out of them-"
"Don't-" Stanley raised his hand. "...Don't say anymore. I'm starting to understand our predicament."
He sighed deeply, looking into his wine.
"So far, we've severely beaten some loan sharks -which I'll admit was my fault- but now, we've also beat the shit out of a group of henchmen that work for an infamous mercenary group?"
He rubbed the bridge of his nose, taking a swig of his cup.
"...Well, I didn't move to this city because it was boring."
That sentiment prompted an expression of dismay from Ames.
"I'm surrounded by psychos." He muttered.
Stanley sighed once more, standing up with gusto.
"Fuck it. Let's start a gang!"