Chapter 9: Ad astra per aspera ~ Through adversity to the stars

Saturday May 2, 1998

Harry stared into Lily's eyes as he fed her. The baby seemed content considering how insanely irate she had been not ten minutes previous. She had cried so hard he was certain she stopped breathing. Either that or the cry had hit a frequency humans couldn't hear. The only evidence of the meltdown now was a tear stain along her cheek. Rubbing away the line, he walked her into the study. Hermione was reading the law books again. Unsure why she was studying the contents so intently, Harry was trying to give her time to relax. One of the reasons he had insisted on dealing with Lily when the first cry rang out.

Sitting down next to her, Hermione closed the book. Leaned into him as she smoothed the baby's thick hair down. It popped back up. "All that fuse for a bottle?"

"It was very dramatic," he confirmed. "When does their eye color change?"

"Hm, the book says it varies. It could be in the next few months. Why?"

It was silly. He was hoping she'd have green eyes like him. "No reason."

When the doorbell rang, they both looked at each other in surprise. The fidelius charm was still active. They hadn't been in a hurry to remove the protections around the place. "I'll get it," Hermione volunteered.

Harry was worried about her. The call to her parents was looming over her. They were hurt. She said she understood. That didn't make it easy.

A deep baritone voice echoed through the entryway. Kingsley was led into the study. "Minister?" Harry was surprised to see the wizard standing there and alone. Moving to get up, the minister waved him down.

"Stay," he told Harry, sat across from him. "I owe you both an apology. Especially you, Miss Granger."

Harry swallowed his agreement. The visit might be a day late to help Hermione's testimony, they both still had many questions that only the minister could answer.

Hermione returned to her seat next to Harry and Lily. "Can we get you anything?" she asked.

There was an edge to her voice. Harry wasn't sure many would have picked up on it. Her offer was polite after all. If she was ready to stand up for herself, there might be some fireworks.

"No, thanks. I can't stay long. I came here without my security detail so I wouldn't have to explain myself. The ruse won't last." He leaned back and formulated his words. "You handled yourself well yesterday. I'm sorry it was so adversarial."

"I'm not sure why I expected it to be any different," she didn't hold back.

"You signed the familial bond contract." It wasn't a question.

"We did. We changed her name to protect her," Hermione explained. "Lily Grace."

"Potter," Harry added, looking surprised by his interruption.

Hermione leaned closer into him in response. "We are concerned about the number of people who know about Bellatrix having a baby. Everyone at Shell Cottage. The night…"

The minister nodded, not needing her to finish her thought. "I obliviated everyone there. With their permission. They won't remember you telling them there was a child."

Letting out a small breath of relief, she continued. "So just the Malfoys and whomever they trusted with the information."

"Narcissa didn't believe there was anyone still alive who knew."

It was a simple statement with the gravity of war weighing them down. "I guess that settles it then. The only other person who we need to talk to will be Ron. He was with me, us, when I would have been pregnant. He'll put the pieces together." Eventually. Hermione left the last unsaid. She was pretty sure Ron would accuse them of having a relationship behind his back. He'd let his jealousy and insecurities override the evidence. It wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to and didn't think Harry was either.

"So what's next for the two of you?" The change in subject from the minister seemed abrupt.

Hermione was certain she had no idea how to answer the question. "For us?" Was he asking about the relationship? It seemed odd.

The minister offered an awkward smile. "Your careers. Have you considered what you want to do?"

Looking from Kingsley to Harry, she let him take the lead.

"I still want to be an Auror. I don't have any N.E.W.T.s."

"That's the other reason I came today. The Auror numbers are depleted. We're of course reinstating everyone who was dismissed under the previous administration. Those who were allowed to stay are under suspicion of breaking their oaths at worst or being imperiused at best. It will take time to sort out. I'm authorizing the Departments to wave N.E.W.T. requirements for anyone otherwise deemed qualified. I'd like to recommend you, Harry, to Henry Williamson if you're interested. He's rebuilding the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Tonks will be the new Head Auror."

"That's fantastic. Of course, I'd be interested," he said and then looked to Hermione. "How soon would I start?"

"Whenever you're ready. The paperwork will be a formality."

"We can talk about timing and let you know," he said motioning to Hermione. "We still have a lot to figure out here."

Hermione leaned forward. She wasn't thrilled with the idea of being alone while Harry went off to continue the work. She didn't want to stand in his way either. "Harry we can work it out. Whatever we need to do. This is what you've wanted. You should start straight away."

"That is what I wanted," he agreed. "Things change. We have a family to consider and you have just as much, if not more, to offer to the wizarding world."

Kingsley cleared his throat. "I do have a request to relay. The headmistress is insistent that school should resume at Hogwarts and she's a professor short."

Hermione's brow furrowed in confusion. The school hadn't lost a professor as far as she knew. Her mind was so busy trying to unravel who he was referencing, she hadn't processed what he was asking of her.

"The school needs a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and she inquired about you. If the governors would approve a temporary post."

"Me? What about Professor Snape?"

Clearing his throat, he shifted uncomfortably. "Severus is suspended. For now. He has much to answer for and he doesn't think it's good for the school if he continues teaching. Once he's publicly cleared, the situation will be revisited."

The more she thought about the reality of the offer, the more uncomfortable she got. "I'm technically still a student. What business do I have returning as a professor?"

"Hermione," Harry started.

Kingsley held up a hand. "This was discussed at the governors' meeting. Who better to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts than the person who ended the war."

At that she bristled. Again, he held up his hand.

"This is a legacy you'll need to get used to eventually. Of course it was a war fought on many fronts and many people sacrificed… everything. Your actions will be talked about for a very long time. Minerva has every confidence in your ability. Unless, of course, you plan to return and complete your seventh year?"

"No," she said with a small laugh. "That wasn't the plan. What about Lily?" she asked, more to Harry than Kingsley as she straightened the baby's blanket. She was still nestled contently in Harry's arms. Fast asleep after her meltdown and bottle.

The minister interceded anyway. "The castle has a nursery. It hasn't been staffed for many years. Minerva is aware arrangements will be needed."

Part of her thought it was all too good to be true. It was a cynical response to the years of experience she had with the ministry putting politics above policy. "Can we let you know after we've had time to talk?"

"Of course," he said, standing. "Send an owl. Minerva is determined classes will resume on Monday. Not to pressure you."

Harry and Hermione stood, led Shacklebolt to the door. "We'll let you know today," Harry said confidently.

When they were alone, they stood in silence. Trying to process the new developments. There was so much left unresolved. Hermione tried to prioritize her thoughts. Her parents would be expecting a call later that day. They needed to talk to Ron if she was going to show up at the school with a baby. A Potter no less. Would Harry want to talk to Ginny too? She wanted everything to just slow down. It was ironic. They had spent weeks, months, wandering aimlessly, not knowing what to do or what the next day would bring. To be thrown into life again. It felt like rapids pulling her along whether she wanted to go or not.

"Do you want to call your parents now? We'll have a better sense of their timeline. We can help them move if they want it," Harry said, as if reading her thoughts.

"Yeah. I should before it gets too late in Perth," she agreed. "I'll use the payphone across the street. Do you want to invite Ron over to tell him about Lily?" That elicited a grimace, she pressed on. "If I bring her to Hogwarts, everyone in the wizarding world will know. He should hear it from us."

"Hear what from us? Do we tell him the truth or the story?"

"Let's send him an owl, see if he wants to come for dinner tonight or tomorrow and we'll talk it over. Do you want to invite Ginny too?"

This was answered with an audible groan. "I don't think that's necessary. She already knows we're together. I made sure to break it off with her before we left The Burrow. Besides, Dean asked for my permission to send her an owl."

"He did? When?" That was a surprise to her.

"Right before he left Shell Cottage."

"That was before we…"

"I guess I already knew."

Leaning over the sleeping baby, Hermione was careful not to wake her as she gave Harry an affectionate kiss. "I'll go call my parents. You'll send an invitation to Ron? Then we can work out what we'll say and if we're accepting these positions."

Harry looked like he wanted to go with her for the conversation, but stopped himself. He opened the door for her. "Whatever they need. We'll do it."

~~/~~

Hermione busied herself with setting the table. Kreacher wasn't happy. She needed to do something with her hands. Between her parents' indecision and their uncertainty over how Ron was going to take the news, nothing about her day had been easy. Even accepting the position at Hogwarts was harder than she thought it would be. Would her friends take her seriously? Would the other students think she had no business teaching them? Deciding Ron would be a good test case, she'd see what his reaction would be before overthinking the rest.

The owl was sent. The decisions made. Harry would be an Auror as he dreamed. She would fill the temporary position as a professor. As she put the forks in their places, she wondered if that was her dream. It didn't feel like it would be a permanent post. It was some soul searching she needed to do another day. The doorbell rang. Hermione's stomach flipped. Hearing Harry walk down the stairs, she'd let him welcome Ron back to Grimmauld Place. Lily's timing to take a nap had been ideal. It would give them an opportunity to ease into the subject. Assuming Ron hadn't already heard the news from the trial. The fact that the hearing hadn't been public gave her some hope they'd be the ones to tell him. It was going to be hard enough to explain as it was.

The jovial tones coming from the hallway suggested Ron had no idea what was coming his way. She took a small breath, steadied her nerves. When he appeared in the doorway to the dining area, she smiled. It was genuinely good to see him.

Rubbing his neck, he waved awkwardly. Held up a gift bag. "I brought a… house warming gift." It was clear their friend was still uncertain about the entire situation between his two best friends.

Seizing the moment, she stepped up and hugged him tightly. "Ron. Thanks for coming. How's your family?"

"They're good. We've been just spending time together at The Burrow. It's hard to believe it's all over."

Nodding, Hermione thought there was a lot that was hard to believe. "What can we get you to drink?"

"Just a butter beer."

Harry moved to get it, Hermione waved him away. "I'll get it. I'll grab three. We can sit in the study."

Letting Harry lead Ron away, she bought herself a few seconds. She and Harry decided they'd tell Ron a version of the truth. That they adopted Lily from a family that needed to remain secret. They'd start there anyway and see how it went. Unfortunately they couldn't know how long Lily would sleep so they didn't have the luxury of time to let Ron get too comfortable. Cracking open the bottles, she took a big drink from hers and juggled the other two in her free hand. Joining her friends, she found Ron talking animatedly, explaining to Harry what the twins had planned for their grand reopening. Deciding not to rub their relationship in Ron's face, she took a chair across from Harry after handing them both a beer.

It was good to be together. She hoped that night wasn't their last. Especially for Harry's sake. She sat and listened to them talk about nothing important. She trusted Harry to find a way to bring it to the point. She glanced occasionally toward the stairs. Willing Lily to sleep until dinner.

"I think I'm going back to Hogwarts," Ron said, catching Hermione's attention.

That was an unexpected development. One that might make her other news as complicated as the first. "On Monday or next term?" she asked.

"Monday… How did you know classes started on Monday? Are you coming back too?"

Drinking more of her butterbeer she tried to formulate her words. "Well, yes. But—"

"—that's great! Both of you?"

He looked so excited. She wanted to lie to him. "No. Just me. But not as a student."

Silence filled the room as Ron worked out what she was saying. Once it was clear he was close to the answer, she continued. "I'm going to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. Temporarily."

His eyes squeezed shut. Then he blinked rapidly. "You're going to be a professor?"

Nodding, she looked to Harry for help. He didn't appear to have an obvious solution. "The minister is offering exemptions to N.E.W.T.s for our class."

"I know. I got the letter," Ron's answer had an edge. "I just wanted things to be normal again."

Normal. Things were never going to be like they were before the war. Not for her anyway. Not for Harry. If Ron could go back, she was happy for him. "I think it's just for the term. To help prepare everyone for their exams."

"What are you doing?" Ron asked Harry.

Harry squirmed. "I'm starting Auror training."

Ron's head nodded slowly as he accepted the situation. "Auror training. Hogwarts professor. Truant student."

"Ron. There's nothing wrong with wanting to go back to Hogwarts."

"I didn't say there was anything wrong, did I?"

This was going south quickly and they hadn't even gotten to the part that would be a problem.

Harry cleared his throat. "You can join the Aurors too. Tonks needs good people."

Ron picked at the label on his bottle. "I want to go back. Finish the year at least."

"That's great then, Ron," Harry tried to sound upbeat. "They'll need Aurors when you graduate too."

"Right," Ron agreed.

Lily took that moment to let out a cry from her crib. Hermione swallowed the profanity.

"What was that? You got a cat?"

Harry laughed despite the situation. "No. We have something to tell you."

Hermione set her empty bottle down and stood. "I'll go get her."

"Go get who?"

"Come on," Harry said by way of answer, and pulled Ron to his feet. The trio walked up to the nursery. Hermione pressed forward to the crib as Ron and Harry stopped just inside the door.

Lifting Lily, Hermione fished out the pacifier from the blankets. Turning she stood in the spot, gently bouncing the little girl.

"You stole a baby?" Ron asked.

"No," Harry said as seriously as he could. "We adopted her."

Ron looked around for a chair and decided to sit on the floor where he was. Feeling bad for the continued shocking revelations, Hermione walked to him and crouched down. Letting him get a good look, she smiled. "Her name is Lily."

"I don't understand."

Harry helped his friend up. "I know. Come back downstairs. We'll explain."

As they led Ron back downstairs, Hermione watched him. He wasn't mad. That was something. It might be the calm before the storm. Lily squirmed in her arms and then sucked on the pacifier. "You just didn't want to be alone, did you?" Hermione asked Lily as she returned to her seat. "Wanted to make a grand entrance for your uncle."

Ron scratched the top of his head with both hands. "When did you find time to get a baby?"

Harry poured a firewhiskey for Ron and put it in his hand. "We were asked to adopt her on Wednesday. Right after… everything."

"Why? Why you?"

"It's complicated. You're the only one we're planning to tell. That she's adopted. As far as the law is concerned and her birth certificate, she's ours."

"Yours. Yours and Hermione's."

"Yes. This is important," Hermione explained. "You can't tell anyone anything different. We have to protect her and that means the world has to think I gave birth to her while we were on the run."

"You want everyone to think that while we were hunting horcruxes my best mates were making babies? Together?" The pitch of Ron's voice was impossibly high.

"To put it simply. Yes," Harry answered. "We signed a magical contract that binds her to us. She's ours in every way possible."

"Who is she? Why was this so important?"

Harry offered an apologetic look. "That we can't tell you. People who knew that are either all dead or have had their memories of her obliviated."

"I still don't understand. Who asked you to do this?" He set his untouched glass town on the side table.

"Ron, really that's all we can tell you. For her safety and ours. We didn't want to lie to you or make you think we were… making babies before…" Harry was running out of words.

"This is crazy. This is all crazy." He rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands.

Hermione couldn't argue with that assessment. He looked like just got bad news. She was sorry for it. It must feel like his two best friends left him behind. These were decisions that had to be made quickly. There wasn't time to talk about it all like they did in school. They also weren't decisions that affected Ron directly.

Harry's face softened. He looked like he was processing the same thing. "This all happened really fast."

"You think?" Ron said looking up. "Did you invite me over to make sure I'd go along with your story?" There was anger in the words now.

Harry leaned back, trying to get distance between the two of them. "No. That's not it at all. We didn't want you to find out from someone else."

"You want me to tell people that the whole time we were on the run, you two were hooking up and I was the pathetic third wheel." It wasn't a question. "People thought we were together," he continued motioning to Hermione.

It wasn't the time for her to challenge him on what he thought that meant. Hermione hadn't been sure how Ron felt about her nearly the entire time she knew him. It wasn't until he returned to them that he started to act like there was something between them. "I'm sorry this isn't ideal for you. If you want people to think you were cheated on, if that makes this easier that's fine by me."

This got Ron sitting up. Anger changed to hurt. "That's not what I want. It's just that…"

Hermione felt guilty as she watched him struggle to find the words. "Ron, I'm sorry. It's important to Lily's safety. I can't imagine too many people will be that interested in when and how I got pregnant."

"You really studied too much at Hogwarts," Ron observed with a laugh, lightening the mood. "That's all people who know us are going to talk about."

She hated to admit that he was probably right. "What can we do to make it easier on you?" she asked him, genuinely wanted to know if there was something to be done.

"Can I tell my family the truth?"

It had been something she and Harry had talked about. It would just be too many people. Harry shook his head, "I'm sorry. We're taking a risk telling you. We can't tell anyone else. Even people we trust. The magical bond depends on no one knowing the truth."

Hoping Ron would feel good about being let in on the secret, Hermione waited to see if it was enough. She looked down at Lily who had fallen back asleep. Standing, she gently put Lily in the bouncer next to Harry. "I'm going to check on Kreacher. See if dinner's ready." Instead of walking into the kitchen, Hermione turned and walked out the back door to get some air. It didn't matter what they told Ron it was going to be hard on him. They could have told him the entire truth and that would have been hard for him to accept. In her experience with Ron, it was going to be best to let him get hurt and mad and then once enough time had passed made amends. It was a familiar cycle. She hoped that one day he'd grow up and move past his insecurities. It seemed today was not that day.

"Hermione?" Harry's voice called out, looking for her.

"Out here. Coming," she called out and returned to the dining room. Kreacher had served the food. She was hoping it looked like she had done what she set out to do and hadn't run for the back courtyard to get a minute alone.

Ron was already sitting and appeared to be stewing over everything. The longer they let his mind invent new scenarios, that hard it would be to reason with him. Harry was getting Lily settled. Hermione sat in her seat, picked up a serving dish. "Do you want the sweet potatoes?" she asked Ron.

"That depends. Are they really sweet potatoes or are we pretending they're something else?" he answered harshly.

Hermione set it down, took a small breath. "Well, they'd be sweet potatoes either way wouldn't they?" Scooping up a portion for herself, she didn't bother to hand them over.

Harry sat. His eyes moved between his two friends. Everyone knew a storm was brewing. No one knew how to stop it. Ron was counting something off on his fingers. Harry wasn't sure if he wanted to know what he was doing.

Hermione was quick enough to figure it out. "I would have given birth to Lily the end of February. Harry and I would have banged the first week of June."

Dropping his fork, Harry's eyes grew wide. "Hermione." He was shocked by the crudeness of her comment.

Ron's whole face turned red.

"Assuming I carried Lily to full term, which is unlikely considering the stress we were all under. Definitely not before we left Hogwarts though. Do you want us to make up a story for that, or can you manage it?"

Harry's mouth opened and then closed.

Ron pushed his chair away from the table. "I leave you two… you three," he corrected, motioning to the baby. "Alone. There's no room for me now."

Standing, Harry was shaking his head. Hermione felt incredible guilt over her behavior. "Ron, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything…"

"Just because you didn't mean it, doesn't mean it isn't true."

"Ron, don't leave," Harry pleaded, followed his friend into the hallway.

Hermione put her head in her hands. She really hadn't meant to be so sharp. She wasn't sure where it had come from. She heard the door close, held her breath as she waited to see if Harry was going to return with Ron. He didn't. "Harry. I'm so sorry. I was just… I didn't…"

"I know. He wasn't going to come around tonight anyway. I'll try to talk to him tomorrow."

She didn't think there was much hope that Ron would be more receptive in a day.

"We would have banged the first week of June?" Harry repeated her words.

"I really don't know where that came from. He was sitting there, trying to do the math. He was doing it on purpose to make us talk about the timeline. I just couldn't play the game. Maybe I'm still raw over my parents decision to stay in Australia. I'll apologize to him."

Harry started to put food on his plate quietly. He appeared introspective. She didn't want to interrupt his thoughts. It wasn't until she saw the small grin on his face did she perk up. "Where do you suppose we would have? You know… banged… at the school?"

Rolling her eyes, she finally smiled. Together they started listing all the place they thought they could have gotten away with such an act. The humor eased the anxiety they both felt. They had to accept the fact that their friendship with Ron might be over for the time being. It wasn't a reality either wanted to accept.