Martin woke up in a jail cell after his crushing defeat at the hands of Kevin Smith. His fellow Justice League members were still unconscious after getting hit with the filmmaker's power.
The only other person currently awake was Gwenpool, who was in the process of playing Cheetahmen 2 on the NES.
The comic fangirl spied Martin and said "hey you, you're finally awake."
Martin Luther King shook his head and said "what happened?"
Gwen just said "we got our shit pushed in by Kevin Smith and Mr Teacherman. Its no biggie."
"So, what do we do?"
Gwenpool pulled out a game controller and said "now we wait for someone to come and rescue us."
Martin just summoned all the racial equality in the universe and fired it at the walls, creating a massive explosion the likes of which mankind had never seen!
The door was unharmed.
Gwenpool continued holding the controller out, waiting for Martin to take it.
Martin Luther King just sighed and said "fine, gimme that controller."
And now we turn to the perspective of the Mr Teacherman and Kevin Smith.
….
Mr Teacherman and Kevin Smith were sitting on lawn chairs, drinking Caprisun as they awaited to enact the next step of their master plan. The next step being, sacrificing someone so they could summon the all-powerful being to absorb the multiverse into itself.
Soon, a Jerry Seinfeld clone walked over and exclaimed "sir!"
Kevin Smith said "at ease soldier, what is it you want?"
The Jerry clone said "I have some important questions to ask!"
Kevin Smith said "lay them on me."
The soldier said "when is this fanfiction actually going to end?"
Kevin Smith spoke up and said "I'm sure the creator is hard at work making chapters for all 1 trillion of his readers."
The soldier then said "and also, how come the first chapter had you resurrecting a bunch of KKK zombies and yet you never actually bothered using them?"
Kevin Smith said "well the thing is-"
"And another thing, how come this story sucks so ba-" but the soldier didn't get to finish his sentence, as he suddenly caught on fire for asking such stupid fucking questions about my flawless masterpiece of a story.
Kevin and Mr Teacherman just looked at each other before Mr Teacherman said "well that was weird."
Kevin just said "wanna just get to the sacrificial rituals?"
Mr Teacherman said "sure thing buddy."
And the both of them went to go and sacrifice a poor schmuck.
….
Mr Teacherman and Kevin Smith stood over a naked Johnny Test, who had been bound and gagged.
Johnny Test struggled to escape from his ropes but it was no use. All of the whip crack sound effects in the world wouldn't save him this time.
Johnny fearfully asked "why do you wanna sacrifice me?"
Mr Teacherman responded with "because, we need your blood to summon the all-powerful entity."
Johnny just gulped and said "why is my blood so important?"
Kevin finished with "because, you're Canadian."
Johnny fell silent at that. Everyone knew that Canadians bled a fusion of maple syrup and bacon, so naturally their blood was the most sought after.
Mr Teacherman and Kevin Smith both held sacred knives over their sacred heads as they spoke the sacred prayer in sacred unison to make the sacred multiverse theirs, sacredly.
"Oh great Keebler Elf, we bring thee an offering of blood. Let thine chocolate chip cookies overtake this feeble multiverse. Your elfiness is much requested and we require your sacred power. Lend us your blessing in this harsh time. Amen."
Johnny just said "wait, can't we talk this out?"
Mr Teacherman said "you know what? You're right. If you can answer two questions, then you can leave."
Johnny said "lay them on me."
Kevin Smith spoke first and said "what is your name?"
Johnny said "that's easy, my name is Johnny Test. Now can I go?"
Kevin Smith said "not so fast, Mr Teacherman has a second question for you."
Johnny said "go for it."
Mr Teacherman put on a pair of glasses and began waving around a ruler before saying "in the configuration of the hypermatter reactor assemblies within the kuwat driveyard's eclipse class dreadnought, how does the redundant field harmonic stabilizer compensate for the inherent phase differentials induced by the multifaceted gravitic modulation matrices?"
Johnny thought about it for a second before saying "that's easy, the stabilizer discharges the excess waste in-between flight paths."
Kevin just looked at Mr Teacherman and asked "is he right?"
Mr Teacherman just shrugged and said "I have no idea."
The three men just stood there in silence for what seemed to be an eternity before Mr Teacherman said "fuck it, we're gonna kill you anyways."
The two men then took turns stabbing Johnny Test repeatedly, filling the flame headed boy with holes.
"Come to us, oh sacred one" said the two in unison.
Johnny Test screamed as the Keebler Elf burst out of his chest in an explosion of blood and guts.
The Keebler Elf now stood in front of the two overlords. Kevin Smith and Mr Teacherman could feel the overwhelming power illuminating from this master of the multiverse.
It was a popular myth that Keebler Elf cookies each contained an entire universe within their fudgy goodness, and now it appeared that the myth was true all along.
The Keebler Elf then stared at his two subjects before grinning a demonic grin and saying "s'up?"
Mr Teacherman and Kevin Smith looked at each other and smiled. The most powerful being in the multiverse was in front of them and his power was theirs to do with what they wanted.
…
In the big city (it doesn't have a name, it's just the big city) business was booming.
A blonde woman named Samantha was walking her dog. She took a big whiff of the fresh air around her and said "man, what a nice day we're having."
Samantha then saw a cookie flying towards her and said "hey is that a chocolate chip cookie? Those are my fa-" but before she could finish, her head was removed from her body as the Keebler Elf called his razor sharp cookie back to him.
Kevin Smith and Mr Teacherman were once again sitting on lawn chairs, this time drinking cherry Kool-Aid, as they watched the master of the multiverse demonstrate his destructive power.
Screams soon began erupting as the Keebler Elf enacted the fury of the gods by tearing any human being he could get his hands on into shreds.
The Keebler Elf tore open a 5-year old child's skull and began feasting on his brain just like a cookie.
The Elf chewed the mushy morsel in his mouth before saying "a drop of fudge in every bite." He then ate the rest of the boy's body like a crunchy crispy easter egg.
The Keebler Elf then grabbed a pregnant woman and sliced her into several pieces before firing her at the moon, causing numerous explosions to be seen from space.
Buildings crumbled as the Keebler Elf smashed through the concrete with his bare hands.
Skyscrapers fell to pieces as the Keebler Elf munched on the buildings like chocolate fudge cookies, before pools of blood leaked as the Keebler Elf began feasting on the flesh of those who were unfortunate enough to be trapped inside of them.
Screams erupted everywhere before being shortly silenced by the Keebler Elf and his monstrous appetite for the souls of the damned.
The U.S army then showed up. Naturally they consisted of foot soldiers, tanks, and jets, with all their sights aimed at the Keebler Elf.
A cigar smoking army general (we'll call him Edward) stood there and said "alright fellas, let's annihilate this sunuva bitch!"
The soldiers in front of him yelled "HOORAH!" in unison.
The Keebler Elf did not seem to be frightened in the slightest, he just wagged his finger, as if disciplining a disobedient child, before saying "taste the wrath of my fudge" and firing a flood of liquid chocolate from his hands, drowning the soldiers in the process.
The tanks and jets opened fire. Bombs, bullets, and missiles exited from their cannons and laid waste to the elf in front of them. Explosions rang throughout as the army poured every speck of fury they had into this onslaught, until eventually, Edward raised his hand to signal his troops to stop firing.
The surrounding area was filled with smoke, it was nearly impossible to see anything. The remaining soldiers looked in suspense. Soon, the smoke dissipated, and Edward's cigar fell from his mouth.
Instead of a scorched elf corpse, there was what seemed to be a small bomb shelter made from fudge cookies.
The Keebler Elf then exited from his bomb shelter before whispering one simple word.
"Die"
The Keebler Elf then summoned numerous other cookies from thin air and flung them at the tanks.
Numerous fiery explosions erupted as the cookies hit their mark, trashing tank after tank. Every flung cookie seemed to create a new corpse in return. Leftover mechanics and human body parts flew in all directions from the now destroyed tanks.
The jets fired missiles at the Keebler Elf, but they too seemed to be hopeless as the Keebler Elf batted them away with a fudge cookie he used like a makeshift tennis racket, sending the missiles flying in separate directions before hitting more buildings and creating more debris.
The Keebler Elf then began moving faster than the eye could see, as he hopped onto each jet, one-at-a-time, and sliced each one apart with his fudge cookie blades.
More orange soot covered explosions erupted as the precision of every slice created a miniature mushroom cloud in the air. If one were to look closely, they could see a human skeleton getting eviscerated at the center of each flying machine.
The Keebler Elf then delicately landed on the ground, before looking around at all the destruction he'd caused and smiling.
Edward was alone now. His army was gone, and he had nothing to defend himself with.
Edward ran up to the Keebler Elf and tried to punch him, but when he did this, all of the skin on his arm flew off, revealing a white bone where his flesh used to be.
The Keebler Elf wasn't even phased, he just simply stood there, allowing the hopelessness of the situation to set in on Edward's mind.
"Wha-what the hell are you?" asked Edward.
The Keebler Elf didn't say anything. He just playfully patted the army general on the head before kneeling down and whispering one ominous word in Edward's ear.
"Death"
The Keebler Elf then proceeded to dip Edward into a large glass of milk and eat him like a cookie.
The Elf then finished his meal, before looking around the destroyed city and smirking.
The Elf proceeded to summon a city sized cookie and dropped it, completely wiping the place off the map.
As soon as the explosion was over, the Keebler Elf dusted himself off before going up to Mr Teacherman and Kevin Smith and saying "like what you see?"
The two overlords then walked over and patted the Keebler Elf on the back, knowing that this was the beginning of the end of everything.
….
Back to our heroes, Gwenpool and Martin were playing Cheetahmen 2 together, while everyone else just watched with anticipation.
Suddenly, a knock on the door broke everyone's concentration.
Gwenpool looked over and saw that it was her best friend in the whole wide world, Captain Crunch!
Captain Crunch opened the door and said "did someone order a Captain?"
Immediately, the Justice League ran out of the cell, glad to finally be out of that cell after 15 minutes of captivity.
Gwenpool lovingly sauntered over to Captain Crunch and said "need a hand?" before pulling down Captain Crunch's pants and jerking him off.
Captain Crunch moaned before cumming onto Gwen's face.
Busta Rhymes asked "so, are you two a couple?"
Gwenpool just said "no, we're just really good friends."
Captain Crunch pulled his pants up and said "what she says is true. What kind of friends don't give each other handjobs to cheer each other up?"
Busta Rhymes just suspiciously said "okaaaaaaaay" before walking away.
Captain Crunch then said "Mr Teacherman and Kevin Smith have already summoned the Keebler Elf. You'd better hurry." before tearing open a peanut butter flavored portal and tossing our heroes inside.
"What about you, Captain?" asked Gwenpool.
Captain Crunch said "I've got my own war to fight against David Hasslehoff."
Gwenpool nodded her head in understanding before hopping in the portal and joining her friends to finish the fight against Kevin Smith and Mr Teacherman, once and for all.