Richard76310: Well, given that in Canon, none of the guys (or girls except Penny) went to gyms, the guys in particular being famously nonathletic, a gym in the building would be collecting quite a lot of dust, don't you think? ^^
Enjoy :)
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that appeared in the show.
"Raj, can you explain something?" Penny asked him as they went over the material Penny had gotten from Sheldon.
"What is it?" Raj asked, holding a beer bottle, taking occasional sips to be able to talk to her.
"When it comes to those historical figures, how many of them are actually confirmed to be assassins?" she wondered. "I mean, most of this seems conjecture, right?"
Yes, that's true." Raj admitted. "But orders of assassins have existed for centuries. Since most relied on secrecy, few had actual documents that survived the ravages of time but one of the first we know about is the..."
"The Nizari Isma'ili sect that lived in the mountains of Persia, whose records go back to 1090." she finished his sentence after he had pointed his finger at her.
"Very good." Raj smiled. "And their founder?"
"Um..." Penny wracked her brain, trying to remember the name she had learned in the material. "Hasan something."
"Hasan-i Sabbah, yes." Raj nodded. "Of course, their name wasn't assassins, since that is an English word."
"Hashshashin." Penny answered the unspoken question. "Is it true the name comes from the fact that they smoked hashish before a mission?"
"It's possible but given that Hasan-i Sabbah was said to be a strict interpreter of the Koran, it's highly doubtful." he said. "The Koran forbids the usage of intoxicants."
"Then what is the origin?"
"Nobody knows for sure but a more convincing explanation is the Egyptian Arabic word hashasheen, which means noisy people or troublemakers." Raj shrugged.
"Huh, that's not quite fitting given that assassins usually work quietly in the shadows." Penny mused.
"But they are troublemakers, of sorts." Raj nodded. "Not in the vandalism sense but they disrupt things when they kill someone, especially if it's someone in a position of power. Until that vacuum is filled again, things can become chaotic."
"True." Penny conceded. "But be serious, do I really need that knowledge?"
"Not need it, but Sheldon believes it's a nice thing to have to round out what you are." Raj said. "And I agree with him in that case because if you don't appreciate the past and the people that built and paved the road you now drive on, you're not going to appreciate what the job can bring you."
"Leonard told me that he doesn't like what he's doing." Penny mentioned. "So, what's to appreciate about the job?"
"The only part that Leonard doesn't like about what he does is the killing part." Raj corrected. "I'm sure you're aware that Leonard had done a very lucrative job recently that didn't result in the death of his target?"
"Yeah, the finance guy." Penny nodded.
"Do you think he appreciates the freedom his wealth brings him, not being stuck in a schedule?"
"I guess." Penny shrugged.
"Or the satisfaction that the world may just be a tiny bit safer for someone else?" Raj prodded on as his phone chimed. "There are many aspects of this profession that you can like."
"Anything important?" she asked regarding the message.
"It's from Sheldon, telling me that the food has arrived." Raj told her. "Any questions about the material?"
"Nothing comes to mind." she shrugged as she got up. "If there's something, I'll ask you."
"Good, now lets go eat." Raj smiled and led her out of the apartment.
"Do you always walk up the stairs?" Penny asked him as they walked.
"Whenever I can, yes." Raj nodded. "It's good for the gluteus."
"The what?"
"Your butt." he chuckled. "Climbing stairs keeps the butt and leg muscles trained."
"Good to know" Penny said, having learned something new.
"We're here." Raj announced them as they entered the apartment.
"Hey." Leonard smiled at her from his place on the armchair, leaning his head back when she leaned down to kiss him.
"How did she do?" Sheldon asked.
"Very well." Raj told him. "Didn't just repeat what was written but thought about and questioned the material."
"Good." Sheldon nodded. "How long do you think she will need to finish the historical education?"
"I'd say for the rest of the week, then she can get to the next step." Raj said.
"What is the next step?" Penny wondered as she walked to the kitchen island to help Amy with unpacking the food.
"Next step is an overview about the most used technical gear and then I have you run through some courses." Sheldon explained, confirming what Leonard had told her would most likely happen.
"How long is that going to take?" she wanted to know.
"For as long as it takes." Sheldon replied cryptically and poignantly looked at Amy for his food.
"Leonard, did you see the contract for killing Bill Gates on the board last night?" Howard asked.
"What?" Raj gasped as Leonard nodded. "Who would want to kill Bill Gates?"
"From what I could uncover, some conspiracy group placed the contract." Howard said. "But they might have been a patsy and I couldn't keep working on it to find out more."
"Was the contract taken down?" Leonard asked.
"Yes, Archangel deleted it during my inquiry." Howard nodded. "I wished he had just hidden it until I was finished but it was not to be."
"Who is Archangel?" Penny was confused.
"Archangel is the person that more or less controls the board." Howard explained. "Nobody really knows who he is."
"Or she." Leonard said. "We don't know if Archangel is a man or woman."
"Or what country he or she is from." Raj added.
"Or maybe Archangel is more than just one person?" Penny suggested and the others looked at her as if she had grown two heads. "What?"
"I never even thought of that possibility." Howard conceded. "It's very possible, given that Archangel seems to be watching the board almost all the time."
"Anything interesting?" Raj asked Leonard.
"Well, here's a new one." Leonard said. "Gang leader, assault, rape, suspected murder, never gets arrested because apparently he seems nowhere to be found. It's even a local."
"If they can't find him, how do they know he's a local?" Amy wondered.
"Not local in the sense that he was born here, local in a sense that his base of operations is in the city." Leonard corrected. "The women he personally raped could give a description but police can't find him."
"Want me to mix a poison that will cause his dick to fall off before you kill him?" Bernadette asked.
"You're very not nice." Leonard chuckled.
"You love it." Bernadette laughed and bent down.
Penny's eyes went wide when she saw Bernadette leaning over Leonard's shoulder as he laughed as well and drop a kiss on his cheek and her jealousy flared up inside her like the sun. She mentioned for Howard to join her and Amy at the kitchen island, waiting until he was close enough for the others not to overhear them.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Did you see that?" she pointed at Leonard and Bernadette, the latter's head still next to Leonard's as they looked at the screen of his tablet.
"Yes, what about it?" Howard looked at her.
"Aren't you concerned?" Penny wanted to know.
"No, not really." Howard shook his head. "Leonard has never shown any romantic interest in Bernie and apart from her early interest in him, and yes, she told me about it, she doesn't have any romantic interest in him either. Their relationship has blossomed into something more akin to brother and sister."
"Just to reassure you, there's nothing romantic in their interaction." Amy told her.
"Well, a kiss is pretty telling." Penny pointed out.
"Really?" Amy chuckled. "I'm pretty sure you have kissed your parents or siblings on the cheek at some point, are you saying that you are romantically interested in them?"
"Ew, no!" Penny made a face but then nodded. "But I see your point now. But I still don't like it."
"Nobody likes it when the person they love get a kiss from someone else." Amy shrugged and took her glass and Sheldon's to the table, leaving Penny a bit dumbstruck by the word love.
His dad had said the same thing, also that Leonard loved her as well. Her own mother had given her that knowing smirk but they never had said it out loud to each other. Did they even have to? Would it change anything? She would still be just as happy too see him come home as she was now.
"Penny, come on." Bernadette snapped her out of her thoughts, carrying some of the food to the table.
"On my way." Penny nodded and took the last two cartons, hers and Leonard's, handing him is and then sitting down on his lap just because she felt like it.
"Leonard, are you going to take that contract?" Howard asked.
"Could you get me some more information before I decide?" Leonard returned.
"Sure, no problem." Howard shrugged. "I'll even do it for free."
"You don't have to." Leonard chuckled. "It's not as if I couldn't afford it."
"If you want some poison, you'll do have to pay." Bernadette winked.
"Can you really make poison that makes a man's penis fall off?" Penny asked.
"Yes I do, though it would have to be injected close to the penis to achieve it." Bernadette nodded. "I'd use some flesh-eating bacteria that I grow in a way that they work quickly, though then the victim would die soon after because the bacteria will eat itself through the other parts of his abdomen."
"I think I'm gonna be sick." Penny almost heaved, her food forgotten.
"Bernie, there's something wrong with you." Howard looked at his fiance.
"You're still marrying me." she winked back.
"True." Howard conceded.
"Hey Penny, did you do all the bureaucratic stuff?" Amy asked her.
"Well, I did some reading and as long as I'm not staying in the state for more than nine months, I don't have to register as a citizen." Penny said.
"What if you're training lasts longer than that?" Raj asked.
"It won't." Sheldon shook his head. "If what Rajesh told me was true than I don't think she will take that long to finish."
"Sheldon, that almost sounded like a compliment." Leonard chuckled.
"It was no such thing, only an observation." Sheldon said, sounding almost insulted.
"I would have thought you would artificially prolong her training just to keep Leonard around." Howard suggested.
"That wouldn't work anyway." Sheldon shook his head. "Leonard would undoubtedly recognize a ploy like that."
"Okay, that was a compliment." Raj laughed.
"It is born out of my respect for his intelligence." Sheldon said, everyone looking at him with disbelieving eyes. "And totally not out of fear of the multitude of ways he could end my life."
"And there it is." Leonard laughed.
"I'm still vastly smarter than him, it's just a fact." Sheldon added.
"And there is that." Leonard laughed more.
"Sheldon, it's fourteen points of IQ, not really considered vastly." Amy said.
"Except that Leonard is not as socially inept as you." Howard voiced. "So in that regard, the difference is indeed vast."
"What is Sheldon's IQ?" Penny wanted to know.
"One hundred and eighty-seven." Amy replied.
"Wait a second, Leonard, you're IQ is a hundred and seventy-three?" Penny gasped.
"Yeah, why?"
"Aren't you, like, a genius?"
"Yes, and what does that change?" he wondered.
"Well, nothing, but..." she stammered. "I mean, given what you do, I didn't expect that."
"Leonard has written and published several scientific papers that are highly respected in the community." Raj told her.
"This is insane." Penny rubbed her face when suddenly, a scared yelp exited Sheldon's mouth.
"Leonard." Sheldon spoke out of the side of his mouth. "Would you kindly remove that monster from my side?"
"Don't be a baby, Sheldon." Penny rolled her eyes when she saw Major right next to Sheldon, his front paws on the armrest which brought his head to Sheldon's level.
"Leonard, do it now!" Sheldon was almost panicked, his hand still holding the fork with the piece of chicken on it and before Leonard could say a word, Major's head shot forward and snagged the piece of chicken from the fork.
"That was so cute!" Penny giggled.
"Oh no!" Sheldon whined, dropping his fork as if it had gotten scalding hot. "Leonard, tell your beast to not do that again."
"Don't do that again." Leonard spoke, directed at Major while Sheldon stood up to wash his hands and get a new fork. "Good boy."
"I heard that." Sheldon said from the kitchen.
"Damn his Vulcan hearing." Leonard laughed and Penny threw a piece of her chicken to Tyson who greedily caught it out of the air.
"No, don't." Leonard stopped her from throwing another. "It's spicy, that's not good for them."
"Oh, I'm sorry." she quickly ate the piece herself.
"No worries, one won't hurt them." he said. "We'll feed them later."
"Why did you bring them anyway?" Sheldon asked as he sat down and continued eating, keeping the box close to his mouth.
"Because I like to have them around." Leonard shrugged. "I have to leave them for long times when I take certain jobs, so I want them close when I'm not on a job."
"Down!" Penny ordered when Tyson jumped on the armrest this time, the dog complying immediately.
"That's very impressive." Amy stated. "He listens to you as if you have been his owner forever."
"Leonard explained that Malinois bond to one person only, so apparently Tyson chose me." she shrugged but was inwardly quite happy about it.
"Howard, have you set a date for your wedding yet?" Leonard asked.
"No, why?"
"I want to make sure not to be on a job when you do it." Leonard told him.
"Unless you're taking another contract like your last one, I think we're okay." Howard chuckled.
"So Leonard, what does it feel to be the first and so far only one to finish a fifty million dollar contract?" Bernadette asked.
"Well, I do feel good that I was able to pull it off but money wise, I don't feel that much of a difference." Leonard shrugged. "Though I didn't get fifty million, realistically, I got half of that."
"Why?" Raj wondered.
"Taxes." Leonard shrugged. "If you add all of them together, they take half of your money up front."
"That's the price for not using tax havens." Howard quipped.
"One I gladly pay to avoid having to deal with the problems that often arise from it." Leonard retorted. "Remember Regina?"
"Oh yeah." Howard nodded.
"Who's Regina?" Penny wanted to know.
"Regina is the code name for a Chinese assassin called Chen Biyu." Howard explained. "She earned a lot of money but never paid any taxes on it so at some point, when one of her jobs pissed off the Chinese government, they went after her with their tax laws."
"She went to prison?"
"No, she didn't want to go to prison and subsequently got killed in the proverbial shootout with police." Howard finished.
"Translation, they executed her." Leonard said. "But she took down almost fifty cops before going down."
"I thought that governments use people like us?" Penny wondered.
"They do." Leonard nodded. "They also turn a blind eye to some of the thing we do but when we do things that go against those governments, we quickly become pariahs."
"Another reason why you want someone like me doing background checks for every contract you take, just to be sure that the target isn't someone you are being lied to about." Howard told her.
"Did you ever watch the movie Mr and Mrs Smith?" Raj asked her.
"No, why?" Penny shook her head-
"It's about a couple who are both assassins and then get hired to kill each other." Raj explained. "The movie was actually written by someone who knows a person like me or Howard, people who don't kill anyone but are part of the business. And it loosely explains what happens when an assassin were to run afoul of either a government or the organization itself."
"So, if Leonard were to do a job that the Chinese government didn't like, they'd hire an assassin to take him out?" Penny asked.
"Pretty much." Leonard nodded. "They can't really openly announce what I do for a living without running the risk of it becoming known that they use people like me too. So, to punish me, they'd send one or more people after me."
"So, what if that assassin failed to kill you and you take him or her out?"
"That would depend on the severity of my transgression in their minds." Leonard explained. "Either they send more, most likely an entire team that time, or they leave it be, seeing it as me having learned my lesson."
"How would you having killed their assassin make you learn your lesson?" she wondered.
"By me learning that if I ever do again whatever I did, they send more and that time, until I'm dead." Leonard shrugged. "Essentially, they'd tell me that I wouldn't have a quiet day anymore, I would always have to watch over my shoulder."
"Interesting." Penny nodded, though the idea of being on the run forever was appalling to her.
"I have a great idea." Sheldon suddenly said and grabbed Leonard's phone, hitting a few buttons.
"What did you just do?" Leonard asked after Sheldon gave him the phone back, smiling proudly.
"Accepted the contract for that gang rapist guy." Sheldon explained.
"Sheldon, neither Howard nor me have done a background check, why would you accept the contract for me just like that?" Leonard complained, his voice rising in volume and anger. "I know nothing of the guy, nothing about his gang, how many people he has at his disposal and all the other small details I need to know."
"I think it's a good exercise for Penny." Sheldon defended his action.
"Sheldon, Penny hasn't even run one of your courses yet, what makes you think she is ready for a real contract?" Leonard didn't understand Sheldon's reasoning.
"No, she wouldn't do the deed, but she can observe you in your preparation." Sheldon revealed.
"That's actually a good idea." Raj conceded.
"Howard, can you check about the contract?" Leonard asked. "Any information about the guy?"
"Sure." Howard nodded and grabbed his own laptop.
"I don't mean now." Leonard chuckled.
"I don't mind." Howard waved him off and started typing furiously.
"Sheldon, don't ever do that again." Leonard said, his face deadly serious.
"Understood." Sheldon visibly swallowed.
"That's odd." Howard spoke up.
"What is?" Leonard asked.
"Well, since that contract doesn't list the full name of the target, it's hard to find anything out about him but the contract actually contains the name of the person that placed it." Howard explained.
"Who is it?" Penny wanted to know.
"Wow, you won't believe this." Howard laughed. "It's Peter Malloy. Father Peter Malloy."
"You're kidding, a priest?" Leonard couldn't quite believe it.
"I'm not kidding." Howard smiled. "Might be a good idea to get some information."
"Write down the address for his church, we'll go over there tomorrow." Leonard nodded.
"We?" Penny asked excitedly as Howard sent the address to Leonard's phone, which he read and promptly deleted.
"Since Sheldon took this contract to get you to watch me prepare, of course." Leonard confirmed. "Tomorrow, after work. I'll come home around three, we'll head to the church at four."
"Is that time important?" Penny asked.
"It's a time where priests are usually in their churches, often taking confession." Howard explained. "It's before evening prayers."
"I'll be here." Penny promised.
The evening moved to more gender-separated things, the guys discussing science stuff, or rather science fiction while Penny and the other two women talked about anything and nothing. Since tomorrow, she would be on a job, however remote her participation was, she abstained from alcohol completely, not touching the wine that Bernadette opened.
Watching the guys interact, she noticed that even though nobody claimed the title by words, Leonard was the undeniable leader of the group. Sheldon might be the smartest but they all looked up to Leonard, talking about his upcoming job that Sheldon had accepted for him. Leonard laid out the possibilities of what could be expected, what weapons or other gear he might need but since important information were still missing, everything was just speculation.
For her, being with the two girls and gossiping was like a young adulthood she never had experienced before. When she was being forced to work on the streets, there was no friendship and bantering. There was plenty of gossiping in those few times she and other prostitutes were hired for some group thing but usually, she stood alone in a spot, others like her a few hundred feet away, the row bookended by two of Kurt's henchmen who always had acted as if they were outside of a bar, on a smoking break with their phones in hand, while in reality they had made sure that no prostitute of another pimp came into their area. And that nobody became violent to the girls, at least not on the street.
"You know, I only just realized something." Penny spoke up, addressing the group as a whole, after Bernadette had told her that they were living in the apartment downstairs for free as well.
"What?" Leonard looked at her.
"Well, you got rich with your job, but how did Sheldon make enough money to buy this building and let everyone live here rent-free?" she asked. "Were you rich before?
"I did it by tying my boots and working hard." Sheldon stated.
"Gambling." Howard, Raj and Leonard said at the same time in unison.
"Leonard!" Sheldon whined. "That sounds so mundane."
"Gambling?" Penny wondered.
"We went to Vegas and broke a few casinos." Leonard shrugged. "Sheldon has an eidetic memory, he can earn plenty of money at certain games like Blackjack."
"Don't they crush your kneecaps when you do that?"
"Only in movies." Howard replied. "Legitimate casinos would open themselves up to really bad litigation if they punished players for winning money."
"So, how much money did you win?" Penny wanted to know.
"Depended on the casino." Leonard shrugged. "Some became suspicious when his winnings went past a quarter million, in one he had several million on his hands when the manager came by and kicked us out."
"Can they do that?" Penny was surprised. "Kick you out for winning?"
"Well, not really but Sheldon admitted that he was memorizing cards and couldn't prevent that due to his eidetic memory, so they generally congratulated him on his earnings and banned him from the game."
"So, you weren't kicked out."
"No, but we couldn't play other games and win without a healthy amount of luck, so we didn't risk it and went to another casino." Howard told her.
"Aren't there dozens of casinos in Vegas?"
"Sure, but some are owned by the same corporation, so when we got banned from Blackjack in one, they didn't let us play Blackjack in another casino of theirs." Leonard shrugged. "MGM Resorts International alone owns at least eleven."
"So, how much money did you come home with?" Penny asked.
"A bit over twenty million in total." Leonard said.
"Twenty-one million, eight hundred and four thousand, ninety-six dollars and eighteen cents." Sheldon listed, seeing the faces of everyone turned towards him. "I think we have already established that I have an eidetic memory."
"And OCD, he can't let anything not be precise and unfinished." Amy added.
"I do not have obsessive compulsive disorder." Sheldon complained, using the complete words and not the abbreviation.
"Really?" Amy deadpanned and hit the table five times in a certain knocking manner Penny knew.
"Really." Sheldon was adamant but finished the knocking series with the last two knocks anyway. "That proves nothing."
"Well, we should head home." Leonard proclaimed. "It's almost Sheldon's bedtime."
"You act as if I'm a small child." Sheldon complained. "But you're right, it's almost my bedtime, so please leave my apartment."
"It's like being kicked out of your friend's house for farting in the living room." Penny shook her head.
"Howard, once I have the info I'll call you, so you can prepare the gear I might need." Leonard said on their way down the stairs.
"If you need some poison, tell me." Bernadette spoke up. "Just in case I need to get some ingredients."
"What non-lethal stuff do you have on hand?" Leonard asked.
"I have some sleeping potions and fast working laxatives." she told him.
"How fast working?" Penny wanted to know.
"You eat or drink it, ten seconds later you really need a bathroom, another thirty seconds later you'll be crapping your pants if you don't find a toilet bowl." Bernadette described.
"Jesus!" Penny gasped.
They kept walking down the stairs, first bidding Howard and Bernadette good night and finally Raj before going further to the ground floor and exiting the building to walk the dogs. They only walked them for half an hour, Leonard going through the park area with the certainty of a man that could defend himself and his girlfriend against any attacker that may try something, if the large, lean dogs weren't enough of a deterrent. Soon after, they were back in their apartment, getting ready for bed.
"I can't believe I'm going on a job tomorrow." Penny said giddily, still wearing just a towel from her earlier shower.
"Remember, you're just observing." Leonard reminded her as he got into bed. "That means you're not going the be close to the gang when I take the leader down."
"I know, I know." she accepted it. "But still, I feel like a kid the day before going to an amusement park for the first time."
"Well, at least you're tall enough to ride all the roller coasters." he winked.
"There's another thing I can ride as well." she said seductively and dropped the towel before literally jumping on him and spending a lot of minutes after that grinding herself into heaven.
I'll end the chapter here.
Review please :)