Remember the author's not the last chapter? When I said I had gingivitis? Well, that took a bad turn. Two weeks of worsening pain later, my dentist had to pull my lower right first Molar. Of course, since it's me, the wound didn't heal properly but got infected and after my dentist "spooned out the rot" (his words), I had to have daily visits (weekends included) to get these antibacterial strip put in and replaced. And all that while dealing with the pain that comes with it.
But I'm feeling better now so I was able to write again. And I'm pretty sure that everyone knows this, when anything in your head hurts, be it headache or teeth, concentrating is impossible
But enough of me going on, enjoy :)
Oh, and I watched a few older episodes while writing this, and I couldn't help but take something from one of them into this chapter. You'll know when you read it :D
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that appeared in the show.
"Guess what?" Penny addressed the group during their dinner. "I accepted my first job."
"Congratulations." Bernadette smiled. "Who's the target? Rapist? Banger? Ex-spouse? If it's the first, I'll make you a poison that will make their dick fall off."
"Bernie, I say it again, you need help." Penny chuckled.
"She accepted the White Whale job." Leonard told them in between chewing.
"What's the White Whale job?" Raj asked.
"This one." Leonard said, showing him the screenshot on his phone.
"Oh god, that one again?" Raj gasped. "How often has this been reposted?"
"Too many times." Leonard chuckled.
"I think if you do that job successfully, you'll be bumped into the third of fourth tier right away." Howard mused.
"If she does the job well, meaning without going in guns blazing, she might even get promoted to tier five or even six." Bernadette added before turning to Penny. "You already have an idea how?"
"No, me and Leonard are going to Fulton soon to do some close observation." she shook her head. "We're going in the disguise of a vacationing couple with their dogs. The town has some nice cozy vacation homes for rent. According to the file, this guy has some medical issue he has to get treatment for every once a month, so I'm thinking something along those lines."
"Unless the medical issue isn't something you can't exacerbate with poison." Bernadette cautioned.
"True." Penny conceded. "But I won't know from afar."
"Aren't you concerned that you may have bitten off more than you can chew?" Amy asked.
"Of course." Penny nodded. "It's my first job. But the upsides outweigh the downsides."
"You could experience ridicule." Sheldon interjected.
"I don't think so." Leonard said. "Much more experienced assassins haven't been able to do this job, so while some might think that she was way too overconfident in even attempting this, nobody will think she deserves ridicule if she fails."
"If you had taken it, how would you have approached the mission?" Raj asked Leonard.
"The same way Penny does, extended reconnaissance, especially given the fact that several of those who tried have lost their lives in the process." Leonard replied. "So either the guy's security is over the top qualified or there's something else."
"I'm sure that his compound has heavy surveillance." Howard mused. "Penny, you want me to snoop around?"
"Only if you can do it in a way that wouldn't give away that another assassin is coming for him." Penny said.
"Please, who are you talking to?" Howard grinned.
"A creep who tried to get me to take my clothes off in front of him." Penny replied offhandedly.
"You what?" Leonard gasped and gave Howard a pointed look.
"Don't worry, I stopped him." Bernadette interjected. "And Howard's punishment is my job."
"Fine." Leonard huffed but glared at Howard for a while longer, enough that the engineer started squirming. "But to my point, given how often one of us has tried to kill that guy, I'm sure he'll expect another attempt anyway."
"That's true." Howard agreed.
"Hey, since that your hacking is for a job, do I have to pay you for it?" Penny asked.
"Yes, but it's your first time, so it's on the house." Howard told her.
"What would be the rate?"
"The hacking attempt is one golden coin, a successful hack adds another two. Depending on what you want me to do after the hack, it adds more." Howard listed. "Like, destroying their databases, stealing data or whatever."
"Good to know." she nodded. "Bernie, what about you?"
"What do you mean?" the little blond asked.
"If I wanted some poisons from you, how much do you charge?"
"That depends on how complex the poison is." Bernadette explained. "If I need a lot of ingredients, or if it shouldn't show up on tox screens, it gets more expensive."
"How much was the one you used on that millionaire when we met?" Penny asked Leonard.
"Five golden coins." Leonard replied.
"That much?" Penny was surprised.
"Yes, because the poison he wanted needed to be colorless, odorless, tasteless, soluble in scotch, and not to appear on a tox screen." Bernadette nodded.
"If the poison is liquid, wouldn't it be soluble anyway?" Penny wondered.
"Not necessarily." Leonard interjected. "A poison can be liquid but because of the different gravities two liquids can have, they don't always mix. Like you see in a tequila sunrise."
"Okay, I understand." Penny nodded.
"You do?" Howard asked.
"Not the science part, but what it means." Penny chuckled. "If the poison isn't fully soluble in the liquid you pour it into, it would create something like a layered drink."
"Precisely." Leonard smiled. "Or like fat swimming on top of gravy."
"Will it become a habit that we talk about the business during our social gatherings?" Sheldon interjected.
"Sheldon, it only happened a few times, so stop whining." Leonard sighed.
"Fine, what do you want to talk about?" Penny asked him.
"Leonard, have you thought about your experiments when you decided to accompany Penny to her mission?"
"Sheldon, my experiments don't go anywhere." Leonard rolled his eyes. "And it's not only Penny's first job, it's also a pretty high profile one, so of course I will help her in any way I can."
"So will we." Bernadette smiled. "Especially given the level of scumbag this guy is."
"Have all of you read that file?" Penny wondered.
"I haven't." Sheldon shook his head.
"Sheldon, if you really need some help designing an experiment in that time, ask Leslie." Leonard added.
"When are you going to leave?" Raj asked.
"Don't look at me, it's her plan." Leonard smiled.
"Monday." Penny answered the question. "That gives us two days to settle in. On Wednesdays, the leader is said to go to that restaurant to get his special meal. And on the first Saturday of our stay, he's supposed to go to Santa Rosa for this medical treatment he apparently needs regularly."
"How will you find out what it's about?" Amy wanted to know. "I doubt they'll let you in to watch."
"Even though the specialist is coming in, I don't think they will do it in some nondescript building or warehouse." Penny said. "So, the type of clinic they use should give me some indication of what this medical issue is about."
"And if it is a nondescript building?" Howard added.
"Then maybe the doctor himself will reveal something." Penny shrugged.
"Are you going to kidnap and interrogate him?" Raj was confused.
"No, no." Penny chuckled. "But Howard has image recognition software, so he could identify him. Knowing what his or her specialty is should help narrow it down."
"How do you know I have image recognition software?" Howard asked.
"Because you're Howard." she looked at him poignantly.
"Fair enough." Howard laughed.
"One important question though will be how the townspeople are in regards to this cult." Bernadette said. "Do they support it? Do they not? Is the cult heavily influencing the city council, like Scientology is doing in Clearwater in Florida?"
"Not according to the file." Penny told her. "The compound isn't right next to the town or inside it, it's about fifteen miles away. Also, while the compound is guarded by armed security, they're not openly waving those guns around or even visibly carrying them when they patrol their walls."
"They really have walls?" Raj gasped.
"No, just high steel fences interspersed with guard towers." Leonard clarified. "And since Fulton wants to be a tourist destination, the cult also knows not to be too overt about it. Nothing brings in the federal government quicker than a cult waving guns around and threatening outsiders."
"According to the file, tourists routinely walk or ride bicycles relatively close and in view of the compound." Penny added. "The cult leader knows that he can't really stop them since it's public land. They have signs that denote where the cult lands begin and if people cross it, they tell them they're on private property and escort them away. They haven't shot a tourist so far. And lastly, taking them on on their property is really my last resort."
"I'm very impressed." Bernadette smiled. "You sound like a veteran, the way you plan ahead."
"Well, I learned from the best." Penny grinned and gave Leonard a kiss. "Bernie, how long does it take you to prepare a poison?"
"That depends on the poison of course." Bernadette shrugged. "I can do a simple poison in a few hours but that would be noticeable in taste, smell and color and show up during an autopsy."
"Well, unless I have some more detailed information, all of this is moot anyway." Penny said.
"So, since we won't have that many chances in the near future, I want to suggest a gaming night." Sheldon spoke up.
"Howard, isn't the university doing maintenance in our buildings this weekend?" Leonard asked the engineer.
"Yes, Friday and Saturday, why?"
"How about we all take Thursday off and do a full gaming binge?" Leonard suggested.
"Oh, which game?" Raj became exited.
"Star Wars." Leonard said after thinking for a few seconds.
"Movies or video games? Or board games, or trading card games, or LEGOs, or dress up, or comic books, or dramatic readings of novelizations? Yes to all!" Sheldon almost shouted.
"Lets play the online game, I haven't done that yet." Leonard said.
"Oh YES!" Sheldon whooped, showing an excitement he rarely displayed.
"So, if you hole yourself up for a few days playing video games, what are we supposed to do?" Penny asked.
"I have to work anyway." Bernadette said.
"Same here, I'm in another building at the university." Amy added.
"You can use the time to immerse yourself more in the material for your job." Leonard counseled.
"Alright." Penny grudgingly accepted.
Given that the guys would spend three days playing games, the group stayed together, spending time with chatting and watching TV until Sheldon more or less kicked them out at ten due to it being his bedtime. Penny left earlier to take a shower before Leonard and after ruffling through Tyson's fur, she undressed and let herself get sprayed by the clear liquid to get clean.
As she was brushing her teeth, Leonard returned and joined her in the bathroom, where he undressed and ran his hand gently over her bare behind as he stepped into the bathtub. Holding herself back from slapping his ass, she just smiled and finished cleaning her teeth before heading into the bedroom and flopping into bed, not bothering to put on a pajama bottom, only putting on a large shirt to cover herself.
While waiting for Leonard to arrive, she read the file again, looking through every line of words and every picture that was part of it in an attempt to get a bearing on how to do it. Some of the pictures added some ideas to what she already had, but she knew that without some hands-on information that can only be gotten by being there in person.
She looked up, wondering why Leonard took so long when she noticed him sleeping next to her. A quick glance at the clock almost made her choke on her spit when she saw that it was three in the morning, indicating that had been engrossed in studying for over four hours. Shaking her head, she put the file away and lied down, closing her eyes and quickly falling asleep.
"We should go to the guys soon and tell them that there gaming marathon is over." Bernadette said. "Otherwise, Leonard will be too tired to pack and get to Fulton."
"I already packed everything." Penny shrugged. "Leonard made a checklist before the guys locked themselves into Sheldon's apartment."
"Have you used the time for more preparation?" Amy asked.
"Yes, but without actually going there, I can't learn anything else."
"Remember, I can make a poison that causes his dick for fall off." Bernadette grinned evilly.
"Bernie, can I ask you something serious?" Penny turned to her.
"Sure." Bernadette looked apprehensive.
"What makes you this... lets say eager, to cause mutilation on rapists?" Penny asked. "I mean, you told me about how those guys that wanted to rob you laid a hand on you but that can't be all."
"No." Bernadette replied after almost a minute of silence, during which Penny thought her friend would leave. "I was..."
"You were raped?" Penny almost didn't dare to ask.
"Almost." Bernadette fought back tears. "When I was fifteen, I had a best friend. He lived two floors above us and we had been friends since we were in elementary school."
"Okay." Penny nodded, and could imagine what had happened.
"When we were fourteen, the girls had already come out to play." Bernadette pointed at her chest. "I noticed the looks I got from most guys in my class. A small blond girl with huge knockers made a lot of hormonal teenage boys go apeshit, but I wasn't interested in any of them, given that I was too young for that anyway. One afternoon, my friend and I were in my room and we played cards. I hadn't noticed that after he had used the bathroom, he had locked my bedroom door."
"Did he...?"
"Suddenly, he threw away his cards, grabbed me and pushed be against the bed." Bernadette continued. "He tore my skirt and underwear off and I began screaming while he repeatedly said that he just needed me. I felt his tip entering me. But before he could thrust in, my dad broke down the door and pulled him off of me."
"What did he do?" Amy asked, also learning this for the first time.
"I thought at first he would throw him out of the window." Bernadette chuckled sadly. "Instead, my dad beat the living shit out of him. Then he grabbed his gun but I managed to convince my dad not to kill him. So my dad did the next best thing. He used the grip of his gun to break every finger of the boy. Smashed them one after the other."
"Jesus!" Penny gasped.
"When I asked why, he simply said that someone who does that, would do it again if they felt they needed to." Bernadette shrugged. "And that's how I learned that sometimes, keeping someone alive but mutilated is a bigger punishment than killing them."
"I'm sorry." Penny sniffed and hugged her friend.
"It's okay, it's been over a decade." Bernadette said but returned the hug nonetheless. "And you surely had similar experiences when you were working the streets."
"Yeah, but at least I got paid." Penny chuckled sadly.
"Okay, enough of this sad stuff." Bernadette clapped her hands and wiped a tear that had formed. "Lets get the guys and..."
"HOWARD JOEL WOLOWITZ! I'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK FOR TWO DAYS AND I KNOW YOU'VE TURNED OFF YOUR PHONE! YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE! I'VE BEEN TO THE MORGUE AND THE HOSPITAL AND THEN I HAD TO LEARN THAT YOU DITCHED ME TO PLAY COMPUTER GAMES!" they heard a gravelly yelling.
"Oh no." Bernadette closed her eyes as a thumping denounced someone hammering their fist against the door.
"Who is that?" Penny asked as they moved to leave the apartment.
"It's Howard's mom." Bernadette shook her head and together, they left and went up the two floors, where they met the large woman owning the voice. "Hello Debbie."
"Oh, hey there girls." Debbie greeted them in a much softer voice. "How are you."
"I'm good, thanks." Bernadette smiled and pointed to Penny. "By the way, this is Penny, Leonard's girlfriend."
"Hi." Penny waved at her, not knowing if she should offer her hand or not.
"Hi mom." Howard said after opening the door, which was accompanied by the telltale smell of sweat, snacks and bodies that haven't washed for three days.
"Good afternoon, Misses Wolowitz." Leonard also greeted her.
"Leonard, you dog you." Debbie grinned at him and pointed her thumb at Penny. "Good catch."
"Thanks." Leonard chuckled.
"How did that happen?"
"She jumped into my basket and I didn't have the heart to throw her back." Leonard shrugged.
"Ass." Penny smiled. "We met at a reception and hit it off. He was the first to treat me as more than just eye candy."
"Yes, Leonard always was considerate that way." Debbie smiled but that smile vanished when she turned towards Howard. "And you..."
"I know, I know." Howard sighed. "I'm sorry I missed it, but Leonard and Penny will leave on vacation tomorrow and we wanted to play like we used to at least once."
"What did you miss?" Raj asked, having joined the group.
"He promised to do a juice fast with me but left me to do it alone." Debbie revealed. "Have you any idea how much I peed?"
"Too much information." Penny made a face.
"Let me get my things first." Howard said and turned around.
"Rajesh, you want some lunch too?"
"I'd love some." Raj nodded and also headed into the apartment to get his laptop as well.
"Good morning, Misses Wolowitz." a very tired looking Sheldon greeted her.
"You look like crap." Debbie laughed.
"I am very tired." Sheldon confirmed.
"And you all need a shower." Penny made a face. "And have you heard of these great inventions called windows? They can be opened, you know?"
"Is it that bad?" Leonard asked, smelling his shirt and making a face.
"It's worse." Penny nodded.
"Did you take care of the dogs?"
"Of course, I did." Penny said.
"Oh, where are the boys?" Debbie asked excitedly.
"You know Leonard's dogs?"
"Of course." Debbie cooed.
"She gives them way too many treats." Leonard chuckled.
"I'll get them." Penny grinned and hurried down one floor, opening the door and whistling, causing the two canines to rush out and follow the smell.
"Hey, you guys." Debbie squealed and bent down as far as she could while the dogs jumped up in joy.
"Wait, you have snacks for them with you?" Penny wondered when Debbie pulled out several strips of meat.
"That's my snacks for the road." Debbie shrugged, the movement causing a lot of her skin to ripple.
"When did you meet the dogs?" Penny wanted to know.
"Oh, Leonard has visited a few times with them before." Debbie replied while feeding the two animals.
"Ready." Howard proclaimed, carrying his laptop bag, Raj following him and doing the same. "Before we leave, we'll just bring our computers back to our apartments."
"Rajesh, do you like cake?" Debbie asked as they entered the elevator.
"Yes, I do." Raj nodded.
"I'll bake you one after lunch."
"I lend you a pajama." Howard rolled his eyes. "You won't leave her house until tomorrow."
"It can't be that bad." was the last thing they heard before the elevator doors closed.
"Is it that bad?" Penny asked around.
"Oh yes." Bernadette nodded. "They won't be back for a while."
"Alright, sweetie, lets get you home." Penny turned to Leonard.
"Sure, let me get my stuff." he nodded and walked back into the apartment.
"And I will air the place." Amy made a face and walked in to open every door and window to get a draft going.
Leonard came back with his computer and they walked down the stairs, the two dogs leading the way and entering their apartment, whose door Penny had left open. Leonard ran his hand over both animals before heading into the bathroom, taking a much needed shower and brushing his teeth to get the smell of death out of his mouth.
Without even saying anything to Penny, he simply flopped into bed, quickly falling asleep due to the fact that unlike Raj and Howard, Leonard had stuck to mostly drinking tea to stay awake instead of lots of coffee or energy drinks. When Penny came into the room, she noticed him lying askew and barely covered, so she pulled his body straight before putting the covers over him. Major had joined her in the room and was about to jump on the bed when Penny shook her head and pointed to the door, making him leave.
Proud of herself at the control she had developed over the animals, she changed into some running clothes and left the room, whistling for the dogs to join her on her run. She spent the next ninety minutes jogging, the dogs dutifully at her side while exerting themselves. Finishing her run, she went into a bakery and after apologizing for sweating so much, she bought some stuff for her and Leonard to eat once she got him out of bed again. With bags in her hand, she walked back to the apartment.
"Leonard?" she shouted after coming in, putting the bags on the kitchen island.
"What?" a sleepy Leonard asked a minute after she had called.
"Enough sleep for now or you'll mess up your sleep schedule." she winked before taking off her clothes for a shower.
"Did you pack everything?" he asked when she was done.
"Yep, used your checklist, so if you have anything else, you need to pack it." she said.
"Maybe a gun or two, just to be sure." he shrugged.
"I actually hope that we don't have to use any." she chuckled to subdue her nervousness about the job while she put her purchases on a plate.
When she had finished, they enjoyed the bear claws and cake she had bought and spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV. The evening was like usual, having dinner with the group where the conversation revolved around her upcoming job, not helping with the butterflies she had in her stomach.
Despite all this, she did rest well during the night, both getting up at a normal hour since the drive would be a bit over seven hours. This time, they both did the morning run together, and when they were done, they continued walking the dogs for another half an hour. After getting back home, Penny suggested going out for breakfast, which Leonard accepted, so they headed back out to a cafe and enjoyed a breakfast that was different from their usual, with Leonard again eating what would be way too much for his size.
"You got everything?" Amy asked, as they stood outside, where Penny and Leonard were storing their luggage in a SUV that Howard had procured.
"We should." Penny nodded. "If we forgot anything, we'll call and you can send it to us by courier."
"Good luck." Bernadette smiled. "If you need poison, just call."
"Will do." Penny chuckled.
As Leonard drove, the butterflies returned with a vengeance. She was actually going to do her first real job and it wouldn't be some small-time target.
She would either go down in history or down in flames.
Chapter ends here. Really sorry about the wait.
Review please :)