Anon: Who cares? This is fanfiction. Also, as in any profession, you need people to come after you, otherwise the profession will at some point simply cease to exist. Ever watched the movie Leon: The Professional?

Guest: Since Penny never was a waitress in this story, the name wouldn't make sense.

Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that appeared in the show.

"Hey guys!" Penny greeted the group as they entered the apartment.

"Is the vacation going so badly that you have to come back?" Howard asked with a smile.

"Funny, always a good joke to hear after a seven hour drive." Leonard smirked at him and whistled before dropping onto the armchair. "Boy, a seven-hour drive just to deliver something is exhausting."

"Oh no, not this again!" Sheldon squealed when the two dogs jumped up at him and licked his face.

"Sheldon, they're just saying hello." Penny laughed and called the dogs off of him.

"This time, I was prepared." Sheldon huffed and grabbed an antibacterial wipe to clean his face.

"There you go, Bernie." Penny said and handed Bernadette the bag with the hairs.

"What's that?" Amy asked.

"She got her hands on some of her target's hair." Leonard said proudly.

"Wow, how did you do that?" Raj wanted to know.

"As Sheldon would say, using my lady parts." Penny grinned.

"What, you slept with the guy?" Raj gasped.

"Ew, no!" Penny made a face. "But I did wear some really skimpy clothes when I pretended to jog and run into him."

"Smart." Amy smiled.

"So, Bernie, how long does this sequencing take?" Penny asked.

"I'll put some of the hairs into the sequencer tonight and let it run through the night." Bernadette told her. "I should have the needed results tomorrow."

"I'll pay you once it's done right?" Penny wanted to know. "There's no advance or whatever?"

"No, because I don't know yet how much it will be. But expect at least five coins." Bernadette explained.

"The job has revealed another problem." Leonard interjected. "Enrico Fabian works for that man as security."

"Who's Enrico Fabian?" Raj asked.

"Never heard of him." Howard said at the same time.

"Enrico Fabian is the assassin who took the job to kill that man and subsequently disappeared without a trace." Leonard told them. "When Penny bumped into the leader, Fabian was the one who pulled her off and restrained her until the target told him to let go."

"The guy called him Rico." Penny added.

"Trust me, it was him." Leonard continued. "And they also followed her to the cabin we're staying at. They left once she was inside."

"What are you going to do about it?" Amy asked.

"Be careful." Penny shrugged.

"But when you're poisoning him, don't you think that his Fabian guy could come after you?" Bernadette suggested. "They could just suspect you out of sheer coincidence of you being there."

"That's true but other than staying there for the rest of the week to keep up the pretense of being vacationers, I don't know of anything to prevent that." Penny mused.

"I'm going to take our FBI badges with us, just to make sure." Leonard said. "Even if they suspect us and if they somehow captured us, they might have some hesitation about killing us if they think we're members of federal law enforcement."

"That's a good idea." Howard agreed. "By the way, I have tweaked Penny's FBI profile to make it more believable."

"How so?" Penny wondered. "What was wrong with the one you made before?"

"The one I made first was a quick solution given that Leonard gave me only a few hours to create it." Howard explained. "Your current one is a little more refined. Take a look."

"How?"

"Sending it to your phone now." Howard said as he typed something on his own phone.

"Why is it so many pages?" she asked.

"Because there's everything in there, even your application." Howard told her. "Though in your case, I made it so they recruited you."

"Cool." she grinned. "Vanessa Riley, five-foot six, hair color dark blond... wait, dark blond?"

"You prefer light brown?" Howard looked at her. "We can see your roots."

"Alright, point taken." she chuckled. "Wait, what is this? Currently dating Agent Vincent Breslau? Who's Vincent Breslau?"

"That would be me." Leonard winked. "Honey."

"Does that have to be in the file?"

"Yes, it's the last page." Howard nodded. "FBI agents dating, especially if they're partnered together, need to report their relationship to their supervisor who then puts into a relationship form that both sign."

"Why though?"

"It's to avoid awkward questions and also, the two agents in question can then share hotel rooms when they're out on assignments." Leonard interjected. "Without said approval, agents would be reassigned to other units to avoid conflicts of interest."

"And of course, it's a little more difficult when the relationship goes up the chain of command." Amy added. "If Leonard was an assistant director or higher, you couldn't date if he was your direct superior."

"To be more precise, we could date but any decision made about you would have to either be made by another assistant director or at least double-checked by one." Leonard added. "Although I could be wrong about that though."

"I still wonder how it's possible that there might be dozens of agents on the FBI rolls that nobody ever meets." Penny said.

"That's because the FBI director knows about it." Howard stated. "And the deputy director as well."

"Wait, what?" Penny was surprised.

"When a new FBI director takes over, they get a briefing. But once that is done, they get a... special briefing, if you will, where they are told about us and what we do. And they get a list of all those extra agents that are on the payroll without ever getting actually paid. And furthermore, since these agents aren't on the regular rolls, even the HR branch director doesn't even know about them."

"So, we're kind of special special agents." Penny giggled.

"It's a complicated arrangement." Howard shrugged. "But it has worked since Hoover was director."

"Is it true that he gave the permission because the organization agreed to assassinate Russian spies?" Raj asked.

"Who knows, maybe." Leonard replied. "But we don't have to do that anymore."

"Could we ever be sent on investigations?" Penny wondered.

"No, hence our names being on that extra list." Leonard told her. "While most assassins have some experience as investigators because we usually have to find out information about our targets or find the targets themselves, it's a different kind of beast to do it within the confines of the regulations of law enforcement. The extra listing is really just there so we can use our badges if needed. Anyone checking the badge number would get a positive return."

"Could you do an investigation?" Penny wanted to know.

"I think I could hold my own." Leonard chuckled. "Though I would have to brush up on my FBI regulations. I think you could do it too."

"You think so?" Penny swelled with pride.

"Sure, you're very perceptive and you can made deductions based on fact and a healthy dose of gut feeling." Leonard nodded. "That could help in an investigation. If it were enough to, for example, find a serial killer, doubtful. But for smaller things, it's like trying to find a target."

"If you say so." she shrugged. "I guess I would have to do it more. Given that this job told me exactly where my target was, I didn't have to find him first."

"True." Leonard accepted.

"So, lets eat and then we let you guys play your video games." Bernadette grinned.

"Thank you!" Sheldon said, finally being able to say something since it wasn't job related.

"You think Bernadette can finish the poison in time?" Penny asked quietly, her eyes still closed with her head on Leonard's shoulder.

"If anyone can, she is the one." he hummed. "But we maybe shouldn't talk about this here, they're still watching us."

"They're not in here." she chuckled.

"When Kenta spied on me, he used a directional microphone." Leonard told her. "Rico isn't stupid and the cult has access to a lot of resources."

"Wait, you and I had evening- and morning sex every day and you never said anything?" she gasped, lifting her head.

"They might even be using some specialized gear to watch." he egged her on.

"Leonard!" she hissed. "I walk around naked in here."

"Relax, I'm kidding." he laughed. "Look."

He showed her his phone screen where the image from one of the cameras was showing two guys sitting in a amateurish-looking tree house, one holding binoculars but not looking through them. She lifted her head and saw the window they would be seeing, the line of sight blocked by the shades Leonard had drawn ever since she bumped into their leader. Neither of them was wearing headphones either, so it didn't appear as if they were listening in.

"You ass." she moped, getting up and putting a long shirt over her naked body.

"You can still walk around naked in here, they can't see through the shades." he moped.

"Not taking the risk." she poked out her tongue and went into the windowless bathroom after grabbing her underwear.

It has been five days since they had delivered the hair to Bernadette and no message from their friend that the poison was finished. It was Monday and in two days, her target would go eat in that restaurant again, which meant that she would need that poison by tomorrow since she had to break into the restaurant to inject it into the food during the night between Tuesday and Wednesday when it was sitting in that prep fridge.

She washed up and put on her underwear and then the shirt again. Returning to the bedroom, she saw Leonard watching his phone, the screen again showing the picture from the camera filming the two men who were observing them. It felt weird to her to know that she was being observed but she saw it as good training to act normal and not showing them that she knew about it.

"Are we still going to Sacramento today?" she asked.

"Sure, why not." he shrugged. "Bernadette said she would call ahead when she's finished. Also, if we're still in Sacramento when she calls, she can have delivered there and we can pick it up."

"That's true." she accepted. "Do you think they will follow us there too?"

"They might, but I don't think so." he said. "They didn't follow us back to Pasadena either. They probably think that if we're not here, we can't try anything."

"I'm worried about my plan to poison his food. How would I be able to get out of here if they watch us." she mused.

"So far, the only time I've seen them is when they use that tree house, I haven't seen any other watchers, so you could leave the cabin through a window on the other side and then return the same way." he told her.

"Good thing you made me get the bodyglove when we went to Pasadena." she grinned. "Will help me to blend into the background at night."

"And look amazing while you do it." he winked as he got up. "Can you make breakfast while I use the bathroom?"

"Sure." she nodded.

She headed into the living room and to the kitchenette, putting some water into the water heater for their morning tea as well as preparing two bowls for their cereal. As the water was heating up, she filled the dog bowls with dry food and placed them on the floor, sitting down next to them and waiting until both dogs had gotten down on the stomachs, looking expectantly at her.

She grabbed a handful of the food and held her hand out to Major, who greedily ate the food from her hand. She repeated it with Tyson and then three more times with each dog. When the water was done, she pushed the bowls to the dogs, who looked at her again while she got up and both didn't eat a single pellet until she gave them the nod, after which they almost vacuumed it away.

"This hand feeding thing you do is amazing." Leonard commented when he came into the room. "I never thought of that."

"I read it primarily helps to deal with food aggression, so dogs learn that you are their feeder but it also gives more trust, since the dogs learn that the food comes from you, which also increases the bond." she said.

"I don't think your bond needs strengthening that much, they have pretty much accepted you into the pack as the co-leader." he chuckled and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

They ate their breakfast in silence, Leonard using his phone to watch their watchers, sitting in a way that would make it impossible for anyone to see his phone screen. Penny wondered if these guys would stay there until the vacation was over or leave earlier if they realized that she and Leonard were ostensibly regular vacationers and not who they really were, someone hired to kill their leader. She had asked herself a few times how anyone could live like the leader, apparently so full of paranoia that he had to surround himself with bodyguards wherever he went and pretty much imprisoned inside his compound except for a handful of times.

On the other hand, what drove a man to enslave other people, including children to his whims, and even worse, marrying those same children because of whatever metric he used to decide why they should be his wives. If she had a daughter and some adult wanted to marry her, Penny knew that she would kill the man in the most painful way imaginable and letting him know why she did it.

"You ready?" Leonard snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah." she nodded and got up, cleaning their bowls and cups while Leonard packed their travel bags.

Since the drive to Sacramento would be roughly two hours, he packed a bottle of water for each of them and filled a half-gallon jug for the dogs, along with the rubber sleeve that would act as a cup. They made a show of leaving the cabin, getting into the car and driving off. Penny kept watching the mirrors to see if they were followed but after ten minutes, no car or other vehicle appeared behind them. When they had arrived, Leonard parked the car and both walked around, first finding a bathroom to use. They chose a cafe, deciding to get something to drink while making plans on what to do.

"We should go to the railroad museum, and then go and tell Sheldon about it." Leonard suggested.

"Why?" she wondered about the last part.

"Sheldon loves trains." he elaborated. "I mean, really loves trains. But he never visited the museum here because it's so far away."

"Well, I have a list here of the best things to visit when in Sacramento and the railroad museum is actually on top." she chuckled. "But I think we should just go where our whims take us."

"Agreed." he nodded.

Since it was already late morning, they decided to just walk around, getting ice cream for themselves and even some specially made for dogs. They ate a light lunch at a restaurant Penny spotted during their walk and continued on to the museum, walking around for a while and looking at the history of train travel. As they continued perusing, Penny's phone rang.

"Hey Bernie." Penny spoke into the speaker, moving to the side and lowering her voice.

"It's finished." Bernadette simply said. "How do you want to handle the delivery? Are you coming to get it?"

"We're in Sacramento right now, can you deliver it here? Or to Santa Rosa?" Penny asked.

"Sacramento has a hotel." Bernadette replied. "I can order a rushed delivery, they'll have it there in three hours."

"How?" Penny wondered.

"They'll use a helicopter." Bernadette explained. "It'll cost you, though."

"Coins or cash?"

"Coins." came the answer. " It's an organization transport."

"How many?" she asked. "I only have five with me."

"Should be enough." Leonard interjected, having overheard the call. "If it's more, I have a few on me as well."

"Alright Bernie, send it to Sacramento, I'll pick it up tonight before we return." Penny said. "I'll pay for it once we're back."

"Will do. I will deliver it for Penelope. Just give the clerk at the hotel the name. " Bernadette confirmed and ended the call.

"It'll take even a helicopter a few hours to get here, so I guess with Bernie bringing it to the hotel, the package being transported to this city and delivered to the hotel, we're looking at at least three or four hours." Leonard calculated.

"Well, I guess we get a cup of coffee somewhere and then think about what else to do." she mused.

They went outside and just walked, trying to find some small establishment to get a beverage. Both had a dog on the leash in one hand each, the two canines walking dutifully beside them. When looking at them, Penny had a hard time knowing that they could be used in battle, both of them having killed people with their teeth or kept their victims down until her or Leonard had put a bullet into their heads or hearts.

"How do you feel?" Leonard asked suddenly.

"Fine, why?" she wondered.

"If all goes well, you will do your mission tomorrow night and your target will die soon after." he said. "Any nervousness? Any thoughts or maybe doubts on the job?"

"Nervousness? Of course." she nodded. "That's pretty normal I'd think. But doubts? No."

"None?"

"No, this guy is a scumbag and the world will be a better place when he's dead." she said decisively. "Why do you ask me this?"

"Just to make sure." he smiled. "You did hesitate when you had your exam."

"I know." she sighed. "But remember, I..."

"Agent Breslau?" a voice interrupted her, making her turn around and seeing a man wearing a suit approaching them at a quick pace.

"I think he called you." she whispered to Leonard, remembering that Agent Breslau was Leonard's FBI cover.

"Yes?" Leonard turned around, the man stopping in front of them.

"And Agent Riley, what a surprise." the man continued when he saw Penny and took a step backwards when Tyson began to growl at him.

"Down." Leonard ordered and Tyson retreated, sitting down but continuing to glare at the man. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"Ah, we met a while ago, I'm Agent Simpson, Victor Simpson, I'm with the CBI." the man introduced himself. "We met in Omaha, I was the detective in the Rose Club bombing case that you took from us."

"Ah, I remember now." Leonard nodded and put out his hand." Nice to meet you. But not to be disrespectful, but is the CBI even a thing anymore?"

"Yes, it had some big budget cuts but we're still responsible for certain crimes." Victor rolled his eyes.

"Was there a reason you stopped by or did you just want to say hello?" Penny asked.

"Actually, I was hoping that you could help me." Victor hesitated. "We were called in by Sac PD after a bunch of murders and the signs point to a serial killer."

"If you need help from the FBI, why don't you call the Sacramento field office?" Leonard asked. "Kind of strange to ask two agents on vacation."

"Sorry about that." Victor apologized. "The thing is, my boss doesn't want to call the FBI, since the case hasn't crossed state lines."

"This is about finding a serial killer and your boss is worried about inter-agency rivalries?" Penny was aghast, but played her role as best as she could.

"Yeah." Victor sighed. "Please? Could you just take a look at the latest crime scene?"

"Can you give us a minute?" Penny looked at him.

"Sure." Victor nodded, getting the message and taking a few steps back and turning around.

"I think we should do it." Penny whispered to Leonard.

"Why?" he whispered back.

"It could give me some experience in investigations." she suggested. "You said we have to do this regularly."

"Alright, but we won't be solving the case for them, we have to be back in Fulton by tomorrow." he agreed.

"Agent Simpson?" Penny called him.

"You're going to help?" Victor was visibly hopeful.

"Before we decide, we need information about the crime." Penny said. "Or crimes, since you said it's a serial case."

"There have been twenty-seven murders so far, within the past three years."

"Twenty-seven in three years? That's almost one murder a month." Leonard interrupted. "And you haven't even been here that long."

"Sure, but when we noticed the signs, we pulled the cases together." Victor continued. "The problem is, we can't get a fix on a potential suspect."

"Why not?" Penny wanted to know.

"The victims have no connecting features. No type we can ascertain, no preferred killing method." Victor told them. "Their youngest victim was fifteen, the oldest was in her seventies with stage four cancer. Both genders were killed. They were killed with gunshots, strangulation, stabbings. They are middle class, poor, one was rich."

"Then what makes you think this is a serial killer?" Penny wondered.

"The perpetrator's calling card." Victor said.

"What calling card?"

"Why don't I show you?" Victor made a bowing motion towards an alley.

He led them through the alley and to the other street where Penny noticed several police cards and SUVs on the outside. Before they entered the building, Leonard tied the dogs to a pole, telling them to sit and also informing the officers present that they were his. He and Penny followed Victor up the stairs, ending on the third floor where an apartment was open, police tape telling of an active crime scene with several people in the room.

"This is my partner Agent Chang, and these are Detectives Smith and Callahan from Sac PD." Victor introduced the two men and one woman. "These are agents Breslau and Riley from the FBI."

"Are they?" the one called Calahan didn't believe it.

"Yes." Leonard nodded and showed his badge, Penny doing the same and relieved that Leonard had actually thought about taking those with them.

"Did the FBI introduce casual Monday then?" Chang smirked, noting Penny's and Leonard's regular clothing, especially Penny's tank top and summer shorts.

"Hey, if we had female colleagues wearing that, work would be a lot more fun." Smith grinned.

"Shut up, John." the other detective huffed.

"John Smith?" Penny had to suppress a laugh while glancing at Leonard.

"What's wrong with my name?" Smith wondered.

"Nothing, I just had a case with someone who used the name John Smith as a fake alias and the reason we caught him was because the name was so obviously fake." Penny chuckled.

"Sure, my real name is Tanaka Wakatakakage." Smith rolled his eyes and looked at Simpson. "What are they doing here?"

"Guys, I think we can agree that we're not going anywhere and I met these two back in Omaha. They helped us close a dozen cases." Simpson explained. "They're here on vacation and I asked them to take a look. Maybe some fresh eyes can give us some insides we have missed."

"Fine." Smith shrugged. "Go ahead."

"I thought this was a crime scene." Leonard interjected. "Where's the body? The blood? Or anything else denoting it as a crime scene?"

"That's the connection of these crimes." Simpson explained. "There aren't bodies, no blood, no residue of any kind, even after it was found out that guns had been used."

"The bodies of the victims often show up after the crime." Smith continued. "They're found in landfills, dumpsters, some were cut apart and put into smaller bins and so on. They also often look as if they had melted as if someone tried acid to destroy any methods we might have for identifying the exact cause of death, however, that rarely works as intended."

"What's that smell?" Penny asked, sniffing around.

"That's the killer's calling card." Callahan threw in. "After the crime, he or she spreads some spice mix over the crime scene. Probably to cover any smell that might identify them. By the way, the spice is clove, however, it seems to be very concentrated to give off this strong smell. We have begun to call him the clove killer."

"No, we haven't." Smith shook his head.

"I'm not talking about the clove." Penny corrected. "The other smell."

"What other smell?" Leonard asked, also sniffing. "I can only smell the clove."

"Try to go underneath it." Penny said, dropping to her knees to smell the carpet at several spots. "There."

"What?" Simpson asked and knelt down as well to take a whiff. "Yes, I smell it."

"I think that's bleach." Callahan added when he also closely smelled the carpet.

"There's more." Penny said and took more whiffs. "It smells, I don't know, metallic?"

"Could be blood residue." Chang suggested.

"Damn, I didn't know you had such a good sense of smell." Leonard commented. "I still can only smell the clove."

"You spent years in the presence of two dogs, no wonder your sense of smell has atrophied." Penny poked out her tongue.

"Are you guys dating?" Smith asked.

"No, we're just spending a romantic vacation together because we feel like it." Leonard smirked.

"Yes, we are." Penny confirmed. "All above board."

"Alright." Smith shrugged.

"Yeah, I think he planned to ask you out." Callahan laughed. "Or at least to have sex with you."

"Shut up!" Smith turned away.

"Can we please get back to our job?" Simpson got them back on track. "What else do you smell?"

"I can't put my finger on, but there's another smell." Penny said and put her nose to the carpet again. "I have smelled it before."

"Nope, not smelling it." Leonard shrugged after trying again. "Or anything but clove for that matter."

"It reminds me of a cleaning solution I once had to use." Penny tried to describe it.

"That's the bleach, isn't it?" Chang asked and knelt down again to take another whiff herself.

"No, it smells different." Penny tried to remember. "Almost like sodium."

"Lye." Simpson sighed. "Dammit."

"Yes, lye." Penny realized. "Cleaned my bathtub with that stuff a few times."

"Sodium hydroxide." Leonard translated it into its chemical name. "If it's subjected to alkaline hydrolysis, it becomes a powerful soap. If used pure, it can be used to create a concoction that can melt bodies."

"Are you saying our killer is trying to melt his victims' bodies?" Callahan gasped.

"You said yourself that you often found bodies that looked as if stuff had melted off of them." Penny argued. "Doesn't seem to work though."

"So, the clove is like the stripper in a club, distracting you while someone else picks your pockets." Leonard suggested.

"Well, an apt comparison." Penny laughed. "But I don't think this is a serial killer."

"What are you talking about, how can it not be?" Callahan asked. "Why else would that smell be at every crime scene?"

"You said it yourself." Leonard said, coming to Penny's aid. "Every crime is different, no similar victim types, different weapons used."

"So, what about the smell?" Simpson wondered. "That can't be a coincidence."

"It's not." Penny agreed. "I think you have a serial cleaner."

"A what?" Chang asked.

"That's actually a good idea." Leonard agreed with Penny.

"Are you suggesting there's someone they call to clean crime scenes?"

"Well, we have crime scene cleaners, don't we?" Penny looked at their disbelieving faces. "Who's to say that there isn't someone who does it for the other side of the law?"

"You should look into former crime scene cleaners, or maybe even some still active ones." Leonard suggested. "Maybe you can find one who lives way above their means."

"In the meantime, I suggest you start treating those murders as single crimes and investigate them accordingly." Penny added.

"I would also look through older case files. Maybe there are cases with the same smell profile." Leonard said. "If so, you could maybe find someone to make a deal with, to give you the name of the cleaner in exchange for immunity."

"We'd have to talk to the DA for that but you're right, it's a good idea." Simpson nodded. "Damn, I never thought asking you might be this successful."

"You act as if they solved the case." Smith scoffed. "But you did give us some new insights and for that, so thank you."

"You're welcome." Leonard said. "Anything else? Otherwise, we'll go about our day."

"Nothing I can think of." Simpson shrugged. "Will you be staying in the city?"

"No, we're leaving in a few hours." Penny told him. "Also, if you do solve the case or any others, keep us out of the reports."

"Naturally." Callahan laughed. "Would bring too many questions from our boss if we mentioned you."

"Goodbye then." Penny smiled and shook everyone's hand, Leonard doing the same before leaving the apartment and building.

"I'm so proud of you." Leonard smiled proudly as they were getting their dogs. "You really have a flair for this kind of work. Especially the smelling part."

"Thanks." she grinned. "Do I get a prize?"

"How about tonight, I really give it to you?" he laughed.

"Sweetie, we have really given it to each other every night and every morning since we started this vacation." she laughed with him. "Hard to imagine how you can top that."

"I might think of something." he shrugged. "Now lets find a place to get dinner and then we can head to the hotel to see if the package has arrived."

"Lets go." she agreed.

Ending the chapter here.

Review please :)