Chapter 9. Desires, March 27, 1875, 4 pm, Atlanta, Peachtree St.

March 27, 1875, 4 p.m., Atlanta, Peachtree St.

"Prissy! I need you to help me tighten my corset. I want to wear my beautiful emerald evening gown tonight. »

The young maid hurried to help her mistress. Then Scarlett sat down in front of her powder table. Her hairstyle had been artistically elaborated, thanks to the experienced fingers of Prissy. It only remained for Scarlett, to perfect her outfit, to put on her necklace set with emeralds.

She distractedly sprayed her favorite perfume in the hollow of her wrists. She was finally ready.

Ashley would soon pick her up to take her to the theater. He had insisted that they see a new performance of William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

She looked at the time. Way ahead of schedule, for once. Then she let her mind wander over the events of the last few months.

ooo

So much had changed! The Scarlett of two years ago no longer existed. She was proud of the battles she had fought and won. First, she battled anorexia and reshaped her body with a new lifestyle.

Today, she could admire herself in the mirror again. That's why, during the last few weeks, she had accepted several outings with Ashley. She felt good and wanted to show it.

She suspected that some of her "friends" in the Old Guard would comment and make a big deal about Scarlett O'Hara's entertainment wanderings.

However, the situation had really changed since her divorce. Many people had finally taken her side, pitying the woman abandoned by Rhett Butler. They were grateful for all the efforts she had made to regain the esteem of the community, the generosity she had shown to the newly poor who had been devastated by the economic crisis, and her enthusiasm (on display!) for joining the members of various charitable circles.

So, with her fight to reintegrate into Atlanta society won, she no longer wanted to refrain herself from enjoying life, going to shows or restaurants. It was so much fun to go out again and to be exposed to the glances of men admiring her blossoming beauty! She intended to fully enjoy this period of lightness hardly gained.

ooo

Her greatest battle, her greatest pride, was winning back the trust of her two children. They really had a good temperament! She had abandoned them for so many years! She recognized it honestly; Scarlett was not fooled by her failings. She had made a commitment eighteen months ago to become a better mother. Of course, all battles were not won yet. Every day, she had to get rid of her reflexes of being annoyed by Ella's youthful impetuosity, or Wade's constant need for attention. But her newfound mothering skills were getting better every day. She never thought she could do it.

The sad thing was that she could no longer share it with her favorite daughter. Bonnie! Her precious one... The pain of losing her child would always be constant inside her, but she had managed to imprison that pain, to numb it. She had to get used to its presence and go on living.

Her two children demanded it and in return brought her new simple joys that she had never taken notice of before: a drawing, a fable told, a game shared, little things that, added together, had transformed the eyes that these two shy children had on their mother.

They had always admired their mother. But this feeling of pride for a brilliant and dynamic mother had been coupled with the fear she inspired in them. Fear of her outbursts, of her annoyance that could arise at the slightest mischief of one or the other of her children.

Now they had no reason to feel uncomfortable. Of course, she would occasionally show a little temper towards them, but they had come to realize that she really loved them.

And now there were the three of them. Uncle Rhett was gone. Their mother was a safe and protective haven. Comparing their situation with their cousin Beau, they thought that they were really lucky to have such a mother.

The next vacation, they would join their cousins at Tara. The plantation was for them a huge room of games, laughter, and antics in the fields.

Wade enjoyed spending time with Uncle Will who took him under his protective wing. He was his instructor in all things natural, teaching him the basics of cotton farming and the rhythm of the seasons.

In Tara, Ella was warmed by Mamy's kind attention. The little girl was very pleased to see that, in front of Mamy, their Mother was losing her self-confidence. It was funny to watch her obey the old woman like a child. Had Mother been a child? Definitely, the latter was full of good surprises.

Yes! Scarlett was proud of the way her children were growing up.

ooo

What about Tara? She had been there a few times. It was still her anchor, her rock. "The land, it is the only thing that counts!" her father used to tell her.

Each of her visits had been primarily devoted to long discussions with Will about the management of the plantation. How hard it was to restore Tara to its former glory! It would have taken a lot more money than she had. Maybe one day...

Thanks to Will's tenacity, the farmland had begun to regain every inch of the plot. Ah! Suellen was lucky to have such an energetic husband. For a moment, Scarlett thought she should have married someone like him. Oh sure, not a Cracker, not a poor farmer! Scarlett had not changed that much. However, if she had married someone who loved Tara, perhaps they could have restored the O'Hara plantation, not to its former glory, but to a better place than it was today.

No regrets, anyway. Scarlett was not going to meet a man who would love Tara, since she would not getting married again!

Her beloved Tara was in good hands. Will watched over the plantation with the same passion as the elder O'Hara. Scarlett had her life in Atlanta. She had to admit that her store, the houses built on the land, even her last sawmill, all these activities no longer fascinated her. So she made up her mind: she was planning to sell everything, and to turn that page too.

ooo

The divorce guaranteed her a comfortable monthly income, at least until 1878, when the five years stipulated in the separation agreement expired. Rhett could - should - have been even more generous, Scarlett concluded with a touch of bitterness. Her love of money was as strong as ever.

Divorce! A deep wound. A cut. A shame she had to face alone. Perhaps her former husband had unconsciously - or consciously - wanted to bring her down by this means... Well no! Despite such an earthquake in her life, such a big change of status of a divorced woman displayed to the world, nothing made her flinch. The more Scarlett fell, the more she got up. Eventually, she had recovered.

Helping Ashley getting back on track was part of her recovery. Melly's death had devastated him. It had been the same for her, of course. The widower had spent long days in total lethargy, getting drunk.

Scarlett had been there - for Melly - for the confused little Beau. The little boy's world had fallen apart. No more mother to caress him. Luckily, he could run to his Aunt Scarlett's house and play with his cousins Wade and Ella.

Scarlett's newfound strength had brought Ashley out of the abyss of grief. He had, little by little, resumed his posture of the calm and discreet gentleman. Scarlett had made him understand that he had to be strong for his son so that the child could regain confidence in the future.

Melanie's widower had felt deeply grateful to Scarlett for her unfailing and patient support. He was indebted to her for holding his hand out of his affliction.

This closeness had only deepened the admiration he had always felt for Scarlett, who marveled at her "passion for life."

To thank her, Ashley had, for his part, faced firsthand the resentment and jealousy of his sister India and the matrons of the Old Guard, when they had adamantly opposed Scarlett's reintegration into their friends' circle. His icy tone telling them to keep their slander about Melanie's best friend had - partially - allowed Scarlett to return with her head held high.

The reinforced complicity between the childhood friends had awakened in him even more fervor towards her. He could now, without being too restrained, openly display his pride in having such a beautiful escort woman by his side. Little by little, the idea was making its way. He knew that his Melly, from the Heaven where she had gone up directly, had entrusted him to his sister-in-law, in the same way as Beau, before dying.

So, Ashley began to dream. Marrying him was what Scarlett had wanted the day of the barbecue at Twelve Oaks. She had loved him, so faithfully... He could now give free rein to his physical attraction, his desire for her.

ooo

"Why not start a family of five again? "he suggested to Scarlett. The idea had seemed so obvious to him a fortnight ago when their three children had accompanied them for a long walk in the busiest park in Atlanta.

The appearance of a "blended family" was caught undoubtedly by Mrs. Easling and Mrs. Merriweather when they came across the Wilkes and O'Hara / Hamilton / Kennedy families.

No doubt the two harpies will take advantage of this to spread a new gossip. Aunts Eulalie and Pauline will make a show of it in Charleston again!

With a wave of her hand, Scarlett brushed aside the prospect of a new scandal to come.

I do not care if they talk about it! I do not have anyone to shock anymore...

ooooOOoooo