"We really shouldn't be doing this", said Aziraphale nervously, although he kept climbing after Crowley. "It's illegal."
The demon snorted. He clambered up the last bit, then stood up and extended a hand to a grateful Aziraphale.
"Angel, we were literally here when this thing was built", said Crowley, as he was pulling him up, "If anybody's got a right to climb on top of it it's us."
"Still", insisted the angel, "One ought to respect authorities."
"Provided they are respectable", said Crowley.
This was a statement Aziraphale could not argue against and so he didn't. Instead he used a hand to shield his eyes from the blazing sun so he could have a look around and take in the spectacular view with obvious delight.
"Not bad, isn't it", said Crowley smugly.
"It is quite a good vantage point, I give you that", concurred Aziraphale, "And as much as it pains me to admit it: You were right about the climbing. One does appreciate the view much more if one has to work for it."
The demon had insisted on them going to the top of the Cheops Pyramid the human way, i.e. by climbing[1] rather than flying straight to the top.
"Yeah", agreed Crowley. "Oi, you reckon we should hop over to the other ones? Get on top of each of them?"
"I do hope you mean by wing", said Aziraphale, a slight hint of dread creeping into his voice. Despite the relative ease with which they had scaled the pyramid, once had been enough thank you very much. Crowley snickered.
"Yes, angel, by wing. I don't fancy climbing up another one either", he said.
"Then I shall gladly accompany you, my dear", said Aziraphale.
The angel's initial agitation had markedly declined, seeing as the guards had still not spotted them yet (and never would, no matter Crowley's antics). The pyramids, too, did not seem in any danger of toppling over the moment anyone set foot on them and Aziraphale had relaxed considerably, feeling quite silly about his initial worries now.
The two of them ambled around the uppermost platform for a bit longer, enjoying the view, until Crowley eventually got bored. He vanished his shirt with a thought and lazily unfolded his wings. Aziraphale did the same (although he meticulously folded his shirt and carried it) and they were about to take off for the Khafre Pyramid, when Crowley suddenly stopped and raised a halting hand. He folded his wings back into their higher sphere, then stepped perilously close to the edge of the pyramid's top until the tips of his snakeskin shoes were protruding over it. His shirt reappeared. Grinning manically, Crowley spread his arms in a dramatic fashion, took a deep breath and hollered:
"I'm the king of the world!"
He laughed and turned expectantly to Aziraphale, but the angel merely looked bewildered.
"What was that all about?", he asked; wondering if Crowley had perhaps suffered a heatstroke. It would not have been the first time.
"Oh, for the love of… It was a movie quote, angel!", said Crowley and rolled his eyes. "Have you never seen Titanic, for crying out loud?", he asked.
This appeared to baffle the angel even more.
"Of course I have, dear", he said slowly, "As have you. We were on it when it went down, don't you remember? You gave up your s-"
"Not the real one, you idiot! The film! It's a classic!", hissed Crowley, interrupting him.
"Gosh, really? I've never heard of it."
"You really need to get out more, angel"
"Was it any good?", asked the angel.
"It was a masterpiece of cinematic kitsch", Crowley told Aziraphale, "You'll love it."
"Huh", said Aziraphale contemplatively. "Well, remind me of it when we get back to London, will you?"
"Sure", said Crowley, who was positive they both would have forgotten this exchange by tomorrow [2].
Aziraphale regarded the Khafre Pyramid in the distance.
"Anyway", he said. "Want to go on to the next one?"
"Yeah- no, hang on", said Crowley and pulled out his iPhone. "I want to take a picture[3] first!"
Aziraphale sighed internally, put his own shirt back on and then waited patiently while the demon walked around on the small plateau trying to find the perfect spot for a photo.
#
"Just pick a spot already", said Aziraphale, whose patience was starting to wear fairly thin. He wished he had brought a book.
"Just a moment", replied Crowley distractedly.
"You said that fifteen moments ago."
"Well, it's sunset. It's bloody difficult to find the best lighting and get the other pyramids in the background", grumbled Crowley.
"We could take a picture with the city in the background", suggested Aziraphale, taking another look. "Gosh, it has really gotten big, hasn't it?"
"Mhm", said Crowley, who was clearly not even listening, " Look, I just want to get a good photo of us on this pyramid, angel, alright? I helped build it!"
"You incited a slave revolt", said Aziraphale acerbically, "How was that helping?"
"Improved living conditions for the workers, therefore fewer deaths", said Crowley smoothly. He had been prepared for the question. "No workers, no pyramid. More workers, more pyramid. QED."
He kept trying out different angles while Aziraphale was busy attempting to find the flaw in this logic; visibly brightening up a few seconds later, when he finally found the Perfect Spot [4]. Crowley motioned for Aziraphale to come over and sat down cross-legged on a corner, where the sunset was colouring the stones a beautiful orange-red.
The angel joined him with a relieved sigh, both of them automatically slinging their arms around each other's shoulder for support and Crowley held out his arm in the cramped, stretched and universally uncomfortable position of selfie-takers all over the world. He grinned into the camera. Aziraphale smiled. Two pyramids were glowing red in the very last rays of sunlight.
Snap.
###
[1] By a very loose definition of 'climbing', which involved a general upward movement and a distinct lack of dirt, sweat or getting out of breath. Both Crowley and Aziraphale liked doing things the human way occasionally, but they both also agreed that one should not overdo it unless strictly necessary, i.e. for the purpose of blending in. Since there was one around to blend in with, they had gladly forgotten to include the slightly messier parts of climbing up a pyramid.
[2] He was right. Aziraphale did not watch Titanic until May 21st, 2021.
[3] The demon had recently taken to digital cameras – claiming that the possibility to easily take a sheer endless number of photos bred Vanity in humans and was therefore to be encouraged – and had started to take pictures of them on his phone wherever they went. Aziraphale suspected he really just liked taking pictures of them together.
[4] It should not have been the perfect spot but even the patience of an angel was finite and so Crowley's phone wisely decided to take a perfect picture anyway.