"Kokomi?"
She doesn't respond. I try again, a little louder this time.
"Kokomi!"
Finally she looks up. "O-Oh! S-Sorry Chiyo, I.." She seems to finally notice the blouse I was showing her. "Y-Yeah, that looks really cute! I.. I think it'll go well with that skirt you bought earlier!"
I share a glance with Mikocchi. I don't want to be the one to tell her that we were discussing clothes for Kokomi. Before I can say anything, Mikocchi comes to my rescue. "Might be a little too flashy for Chiyopippi," she says smoothly. "Teruhashi-san, why don't you give it a try?"
"Me?"
Mikocchi gives her a nod and I follow suit. "Y-yeah. It might be a little too much for me. Why don't you give it a shot, Kokomi?"
"O-okay.." We watch her float over to the changing room, and I can feel my smile growing just a bit taut. I can't help but notice how her steps seem slightly uneven as she slips behind the dressing room curtain.
"She's.. she's a bit out of it today, huh?" I catch Mikocchi murmur. I look over. "I think it's more than a bit..."
*Sigh...*
I've never seen Kokomi like this. Honestly, I'm starting to get worried.
"Any clue what might be bothering her?" Mikocchi asks, and I rack my brain.
"I did think she sounded a bit off on the phone... And you know how Kokomi is — always first to show up, right? But today, she was the last one here. That's not like her."
...Thinking back to this morning, I can't remember the last time I'd been that excited about going shopping. Mikocchi and Kokomi rarely hang out together, so I figured it'd make for a perfect way to unwind from all the exam stress.
I've had this whole bunch of things I've wanted to buy in preparation for my Christmas 'date' with Kaidou-kun. (I say 'date' because I have the distinct feeling Kaidou-kun will think it totally appropriate to have the guys tagging along, but whatever. I'll take it, dammit.)
I thought for sure Kokomi would be in full Christmas mode herself. All hyped up for her own plans...
"Ne, Mikocchi." Something occurs to me. "Can't you use your fortune telling to figure out what might have happened?"
It sounded like a good idea in my head. Mikocchi doesn't seem to share the opinion. "I don't know if she'll appreciate us prying."
"Maybe. But desperate times call for desperate measures."
I don't think calling it a desperate situation would be an exaggeration. I've never seen Kokomi like this before. Sure, she has days where she looks a bit more tired than usual, but this..
I don't know...
It's freaking me out a little, if I'm being honest.
Before I can get Mikocchi to reconsider, we hear the rustle of parting curtains and I spot Kokomi stepping out. Despite all the earlier apprehension, I can't help but let out an "Offu!". Neither can the rest of the store from the sound of it. I half expect a spontaneous round of applause.
"Looking good!" Mikocchi offers. Totally.
The blouse just works so well on her. It's not tight, but it fits her perfectly. And those little purple dots on the white fabric - the way it sets off her hair and skin... man.
In typical Kokomi fashion, she offers a kind, gentle smile, despite everybody aweing at her.
"It really does look great!" I say. What doesn't looks great where Kokomi is concerned? But I think she could use hearing it out loud right now. "I'm sure the guys would be blown away!"
That had been meant to cheer her up. If anything though, her smile looks more strained than ever. I think I see her fingers fidget with the hem of the blouse.
"Uh, Kokomi..." I can feel my weight shifting from one foot to the other. I'm tempted to rub the back of my neck. "Is... is something.. wrong?"
I wince internally. Maybe that hadn't been the best way to put it.
I thought I saw something flicker in her eyes, but it was gone so fast.
Kokomi? ...Panicking? That... couldn't be right.
Then, just like that, it was as if someone had pressed a switch. I almost got whiplash. Her whole... everything, just changed. The way she stood, the look in her eyes, even the color in her cheeks.
"Whatever do you mean?" she asked, and suddenly I was looking at the Kokomi I've always known. That million-watt smile was back, lighting up the whole place like it always did.
And I'm standing here, blinking like an idiot. Like the past hour had just been some kind of weird fever dream.
I glance at Mikocchi, and she looks just as thrown off as I feel. But before either of us can get a word out, this... new? old? I don't even know anymore... version of Kokomi is talking again.
"Really sorry if I've been acting a little off this morning, guys," she says, and I swear it's like listening to a completely different person. "I'd been so excited for this trip. I was up super late last night, just couldn't put those fashion magazines down. Sorry if that's ruined the mood-"
"Oh no. Not at all-" I try to cut in, but she barrels on. "Don't worry though! I feel really fresh after getting into these new clothes. The fabric just makes you feel so snug and alive."
She's gushing now, all sparkly-eyed.
"I think I totally need to get a new skirt that goes with it!"
Having said her piece, she quickly darts over to the nearest lineup of skirts and starts checking them out. Watching her go, I can't decide what I should feel.
Should I feel relieved? I mean, her explanation makes sense, right?
I watch her fingers flick through the hangers, skirts swishing and swooshing as she browses. It's not frantic or anything, just... purposeful. Like she's on a mission.
It looks normal. It should look normal.
But... I don't know.
I make out the aroma of freshly baked pastries wafting through the air, mingling with the scent of coffee.
"A double matcha latte with a topping of chocolate flakes, oh, and a slice of matcha chiffon cake!" Chiyo's cheerful voice cuts through my thoughts. She pauses, her brow furrowing slightly as if reconsidering. "Wait, make it a half slice of cake. And could you use almond milk in the latte?"
I watch as the waitress nods, her pen scratching across the notepad. The sound grates on my nerves for some reason. As she turns to me, I try my best to muster a smile.
"Just a cup of chamomile tea for me, please."
The words come out fainter than I intended. From the corner of my eye, I catch Chiyo's frown. It's quick, there and gone in an instant, but I caught it nonetheless. She doesn't say anything though, and I'm grateful.
I'm just not feeling very hungry at the moment, really...
The waitress nods again, jotting down my meager order before turning to Aiura-san. I find myself studying the grain of the wooden table, tracing its swirls as she spoke.
"I'll have... the purple yam pancakes with whipped cream and strawberries on top, and an iced caramel macchiato."
Her voice is light, carefree. Out of habit, I have the urge to make a mental note tracking what menu items she seemed to prefer, but I push it aside. It feels really wrong for some reason right now...
Aiura Mikoto.
Her long hair catches the sunlight streaming through the skylight, highlighting strands of honey blonde. Even though we've shared classes for quite a few years at this point, I can't say I really know her any more than I did when she first transferred.
We don't really talk a lot, do we..?
I find my gaze drift to the busy corridor adjacent to us, watching as shoppers bustle past, weaving through the space, arms laden with bags, making purposeful strides. Since this was the first time Chiyo-chan had invited both me and Aiura-san together for shopping, I had had ideas about trying to make a good impression on her.
Right now though... I can't bring myself to care.
Not about this 'long-awaited' girls' day out. Not about upsetting Chiyo-chan. Or about getting along with Aiura-san.
Honestly, I'm not even sure why I bothered showing up.
The chatter of the cafe feels like its pressing in from all sides. And it feels like almost every single cell in my body is telling me to head home. What little refuge it is - I think it'd still be a million times better than... whatever this charade is.
...Why did I decide to come today anyway?
The question hangs in my mind as I absently trace the rim of my empty water glass. The cool surface beneath my fingertip grounds me, just a little.
Oh, right..
Distraction..
I wanted a distraction.
And as soon as I think that, my mind's trying to naturally follow that line of thought to what I needed a distraction from...
I can't help my fists clenching to that half-thought. It's a good thing I took the seat across from the two. This... illusion of normalcy - however tenuous - I'd rather it hold out.
And I feel myself grasping at the present – the gentle clink of dishes, the murmur of conversation, the faded warmth of the winter sun. Anchors tethering me to the here and now.
But despite myself.
I can't help asking. For the umpteenth time. The same question that's been nagging at me all night. Etching itself into every little corner of my mind.
...Why?
One syllable, three letters, and somehow it's a tide trying to pull me under. I blink, and for a moment, I'm back in my room, staring holes into the ceiling over my bed. His words play back, over and over, like a broken record in my head.
"I'm sorry... But I can't return your feelings."
I keep myself from clenching my fist. But-
Why? Why did things turn out like this? What did I do wrong, Saiki? Did I do something to make a bad impression on you?
Questions and memories tumble through my mind.
"Saiki-kun! Did you see the latest episode of 'Meteor Garden'? Everyone's talking about it!" My voice being just a touch too eager when I caught him at his seat in the morning. Pestering him about a show everybody seemed to be talking about.
And I can recall the ever so slight tilt of his head, and the way his eyes flickered to mine for just a moment before returning to his book. What emotion had it been swirling underneath that blank facade of his?
...Disinterest? ...Annoyance?
"Ah, Saiki-kun, have you heard? They're thinking of changing the school festival theme this year! Apparently, it might be 'Futuristic Tokyo'. Sounds really fun! What do you think, Saiki-kun?"
"Saiki-kun, are you planning to go to the summer fireworks festival next week? I heard they're adding a new display!"
"Sorry, but I happened to notice the book you were reading. 'The Blind Horologist', was it? Sounds quite curious! I've never heard of it before. If I may ask, what's it about, Saiki-kun?"
Did you ever care for my attempts at all? For me pestering you about things in class? Bugging you about classwork and what not?
Did I do something to make you hate me? ...When? When I made your brother dislike me? When I made a bad impression on Yuuta? Or was it when my brother tried to harass you? Did you not like it when Kurumi-san invited me over to your place without asking you first? Had I overstepped?
Or am I just barking up the completely wrong tree?
...Am I not your type?
What is your type, Saiki-kun? Gyarus?
I tried that. I tried that, Saiki. Poured hours into it. Changed my hair color and personality and everything. Did I overdo it? Did it put you off? Me trying too hard to change my image?
Or maybe I just wasn't pulling off the Gyaru look quite the way you wanted it?
The questions keep piling, and I can feel myself blinking to keep my eyes from misting.
What is it that I'm doing wrong?
"Keep dilly-dallying and someone else will confess to him before you know it. Or worse... He even might confess to someone else!" The piece of gossip I'd caught in the washroom floats into my head for some reason.
...And maybe I was barking up the wrong tree all over again?
A new thought creeps, settling like a weight in my chest.
Did... Did Saiki Kusuo like Aiura Mikoto? Was... Was that the explanation?
I.. I don't know. I-I don't even know if I want to know.
The possibility feels like a punch to the gut. And I can't help my gaze drifting to Aiura-san, laughing at something Chiyo just said. The sound grates on my nerves, even though I know it shouldn't. I know it shouldn't.
I-
Am I not good enough as Aiura-san for him?
I...
Where did I go wrong...?
"Teruhashi-san?"
The girl didn't seem to react, Aiura's voice barely registering.
"Teruhashi-san?" She tried again, louder this time. Startled, the bluenette's eyes snapped back into focus, confusion and embarrassment flashing across her face for the split second it took her to school her expression into a polite apologetic smile.
"I'm so sorry!" She pitched her voice into a perfectly soft self-reproach. "I wasn't paying attention. What were you saying again?"
Aiura returned a strained smile.
"Uh, your phone... it's.. it's been ringing for a while now."
Kokomi followed Aiura's gaze to the device vibrating insistently on the table, it's face down in courtesy. The ring cut off just as she reached for it, leaving an awkward silence in its wake.
Picking up the phone with a light tremor fingers, Kokomi let out a small, "Oh," as she read the missed call notification. "It's Imu-chan," she explained, her voice oddly detached.
She looked up, intending to ask permission to take the call in private, when the empty seat beside Aiura suddenly registered in her mind.
"Where did Chiyo-chan go?"
Aiura gave her a strange look, eyebrows furrowing slightly. "Uh, Chiyopippi went to the washroom. About five minutes ago."
"I-I see."
The words came out a small whisper. And she could feel heat rising to her cheeks.
Oh, god. How embarrassing.
She really hadn't been paying attention, had she? Disgraceful, as far as perfect pretty girls went.
"I'll-I'll be back in a moment." The words tumbled out hastily, her usual grace abandoning her. She gestured vaguely with her phone, already half-rising from her seat.
Aiura nodded, her expression a mix of politeness and poorly concealed concern. "Take your time."
Speed walking over to a quieter corner of the mall, Kokomi took a second to blanch at the number of unread messages she'd piled up. Some eighty seven messages, and three missed calls.
Quickly dialing back, she heard two rings before the call connected. "Hel-"
"Senpai!"
The other girl cried before she could even get a word out.
"I've been trying to reach you all day! Did you not get any of my messages yesterday? What happened with Saiko? Did that guy try to pull anything untoward towards you? I-I'm so sorry! It's my fault! I told you you should go. I didn't think he would do something so scumbaggy! I was so worried when I couldn't reach you even late into the night! I could have swore something bad happened! What did happen? Did-"
"I-Imu-chan!" Kokomi cut into her frantic rant. "I-I'm fine." Mostly. "S-Saiko-kun didn't do anything untowards to me or anything. He was... courteous." Mostly. "He wanted to let me know that he was going abroad next year, and... wanted to ask me to come with him."
The line fell silent for a second.
"Did... Did you agree to go?" She sounded like she was holding her breath, and it almost elicited a chuckle on Kokomi's face.
"No. No I did not."
The girl let out what sounded like a giant sigh of relief. Taking a second to collect herself, the girl finally returned a, "I-I see."
This time Kokomi couldn't help but chuckle.
"I'm not going anywhere, Imu-chan."
"That's good to hear." There was a small pause. "Then.. Was there something else keeping you, yesterday? My messages didn't go through. I even tried calling once, but you didn't pick up... Is something the matter, senpai?"
Kokomi's smile wore off.
She wasn't sure what to tell her.
"...Ne, Imu-chan."
"..?"
"About yesterday... when we were looking for Saiki-kun together. I... I just wanted to say thank you. It meant a lot to me that you took the time to help. I really do appreciate it."
"What are you saying, senpai? Of course, I'd help!" The girl said in a way that suggested she'd puffed out her chest. It almost made Kokomi smile.
"Even though you weren't a fan of Saiki-kun?" She tried to tease.
The girl seemed to think it over for a moment.
"I'm not. I'm really not. I honestly can't even begin to imagine what you see in him." Her voice conveyed an exasperated roll of the eyes. "But, even though I don't like Saiki Kusuo," her voice shed its levity, "at the end of the day, if he can make you happy, then..."
Rifuta wasn't one for sappy conversations, so seemed to struggle to find the right words. But did eventually.
"I'd just prefer for senpai to be happy."
"Denim?" Chiyo asked, not looking convinced. The orangette held up a beige blazer in her hand, looking across from the Denim jacket Kokomi had proposed. The two looked to Aiura for her thoughts. It was intended for the blonde after all.
The girls had reconvened earlier, finishing their meals, and had gone around to check a few other stores.
In Aiura's hand was a sleek black floral jumpsuit, with scarlet and orange patterns scattered along it. Kokomi's recommendation seemed to be a dark denim jacket to go with it. Chiyo thought a beige blazer would look better.
Aiura looked from one to the other, a contemplative frown on her face.
"You know what, I'll try 'em both on," she said, before grabbing the two options and jumping into the nearest changing room.
There was a momentary lull as the two girls watched her go. Chiyo tapped her foot, as if thinking something.
"Now that I'm thinking about it," Chiyo spoke up, her brow furrowing as she twirled a strand of orange hair around her finger, "maybe beige wouldn't go that well with Mikocchi's tan after all..."
Kokomi paused, her hand hovering over a silky blouse. The soft fabric rustled as she let it fall back into place. She tilted her head, considering.
"I don't think that's necessarily the case, Chiyo-chan. I do think it might work really well on a lighter top. Maybe burgundy or similar. I could show you what I mean."
She turned, reaching towards a nearby rack. The metal hangers clinked softly as she began to sift through the array of colorful tops.
"Burgundy, you said?" Chiyo's voice perked up. She dropped to her knees next to Kokomi, her fingers flitting through the lower rack.
The gentle whir of the store's heating system filled the momentary silence as they searched. The scent of new fabric and subtle perfume hung in the air. Outside the store's entrance, the muffled sounds of holiday shoppers and distant Christmas music drifted in from the mall's bustling corridors.
"Ne, Kokomi," Chiyo said suddenly, her voice softer than before.
"..?"
"I'm sorry I couldn't keep Saiki-kun yesterday." She blurted out. "I was sure he was right behind me. I got distracted for a moment when I saw you heading into the first-year classroom - people were talking about some fight or something - and before I realized it, Saiki'd completely disappeared and-"
"I-It's -It's fine, Chiyo. You don't have to worry abou-"
"No," the orangette interjected, swerving around to look the girl in the eye. "Kokomi. It's fine to be mad, you know? I'm sure you had plans in mind. Things you wanted to say to him."
Her words picked up speed as her gestures grew more animated. "I tried asking him where he'd been going with Mikocchi, but he just brushed it off. Mikocchi told me later that he owed her a drink or something, but she didn't know where he went afterwards. I..." She bit her lip. "I was being so caught up with my own business with Kaidou-kun, I didn't realize it was bothering you so much!"
"Ch-Chiyo-chan," Kokomi stammered, reaching out to grasp her hand. The burgundy top she'd been clutching fell to the floor, forgotten. "I-it's not that. That's not the thing bothering me." She took a breath to steady herself.
"I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. And it's fine for you to prioritize yourself, Chiyo. You didn't have to go out of your way to keep him."
Kokomi's voice softened, a gentle smile tugging at her lips. "And I'm honestly really happy that you went that far for me. I really am!"
Chiyo was silent for a moment.
"Something is bothering you though, then?" Her voice was quiet, almost hesitant.
Kokomi internally grimaced. She'd slipped. Her smile faltered for a split second before she caught herself, but it was enough.
Chiyo took one look and decided. "I-I'll drop it," she said, squeezing Kokomi's arm gently. She'd never seen Kokomi's face like this before and didn't want to make it worse by pestering her. Kokomi's shoulders visibly relaxed.
There was another momentary lull in the conversation. Kokomi bent down to retrieve the burgundy top she had dropped earlier, smoothing out its wrinkles before hanging it back on the rack with a soft sigh. The two girls continued semi-awkwardly rifling through their respective racks. The soft rustle of fabric filled the silence between them. Kokomi's fingers paused on a silky red top, her mind elsewhere.
"Speaking of Kaidou-kun, though," Kokomi started, her voice carefully casual as she pulled the top from the rack to examine it closer, "How... How is it going between the two of you, if it's alright with me asking?"
Chiyo paused, her hand hovering over a bright yellow sweater. Her cheeks flushed light red for a moment, before it was replaced by a slightly more despondent expression. She let out a small sigh, her shoulders drooping slightly.
"Kokomi, I don't know how you do it..." Chiyo's voice was tinged with a mixture of admiration and frustration. She turned to face her friend, leaning against the clothing rack. "I almost never see you studying, but you're always in the top fifteen in our grade. I.. I really want to believe that the power of love can overcome any barrier, but I still can't seem to close the gap between me and Kaidou-kun academically."
Kokomi reflected on that for a moment, idly running her fingers through the soft fabric of the top she held. Her brow furrowed slightly as she considered her response.
Chiyo's rank at the end of second year had barely hovered around a hundred and sixty. Kaidou, on the other hand, had consistently managed to keep his rank within the top thirty. Kokomi tried to recall what Kaidou's first choice in university was, her eyes unfocusing slightly as she searched her memory.
"Uwaisumanu Daigaku.. was it?" Kokomi mused aloud. Chiyo looked up sharply at her words. "His first choice university."
Second, if she remembered correctly, was Puradouji. Third was Jiinieusuu. She had enough prudence to not verbalize herself memorizing all three though.
Kokomi hung the red top back on the rack, her movements slow and deliberate as she considered Chiyo's next words.
"I.. I didn't decide to go to the same university as Kaidou-kun on a whim, you know?" Chiyo said, her voice wavering slightly, as if she was trying to convince herself of the fact.
She wrung her hands together. "I-I know it might seem stupid. Basing my entire future on a dime like that. But," her voice gradually regained its usual energy, "I don't want to have any regrets."
The bustling sounds of the mall seemed to grow distant as Kokomi thought it over.
There was a cynical way to look at her words. And there was an optimistic way to look at it. Kokomi would be the last person to think Chiyo's feelings fickle, but it was a fact that feelings sometimes changed. No teacher worth their salt would recommend their students basing their choice of university simply based on the person they liked attending it as well.
Kokomi was no cynic though. Not when it came to matters of the heart.
Seifutii. Kommonu. Abureiji. Saiki's top three choices for universities he was considering applying to.
...Kokomi's as well. At least that was how it was supposed to be...
Her eyes refocused on Chiyo, taking in the determined look on the girl's face. In Chiyo's case, the girl had come all the way to rank ninety-seven within the last semester. It was a tremendous improvement by any measure. But even then, it was still a long way from being competitive for a top of the line university like Uwaisumanu.
"Chi-"
"Kokomi," Chiyo inadvertently cut her off. There was a certain lethal undertone in there that made Kokomi's words catch in her throat.
"Did you know? Mikocchi's fortune telling - it's never wrong, apparently."
She did. Or at least, she'd heard a lot of people saying something to that effect. The common consensus from almost everyone who'd availed the girl's fortune reading services was that Aiura Mikoto's powers of psychic foresight were impeccably accurate.
Especially when concerning matters related to love.
The thought hung heavy in the air between them.
"I haven't brought it up with her lately, about.. about Kaidou-kun. You remember how it went last time, right?" Chiyo's voice had dropped to a near whisper, her eyes downcast.
Kokomi returned a muted nod.
The last time Chiyo she had brought it up with Aiura, i.e. episode four of The Disastrous Life of Saiki Kusuo: Shidou-hen, the girl had told her that her compatibility with Kaidou had risen from two percent, back from when Aiura had transferred to PK, all the way to... four percent.
At the time, Chiyo had tried to convince herself that it was still good news, but...
"I've been meaning to ask her. If it's improved or not. My compatibility with Kaidou-kun. But every time, I just keep chickening out..." Chiyo's voice trailed off.
Letting go of the clothes she'd been examining, Kokomi turned her full attention to Chiyo.
"I thought yesterday's exam went well. I-I really did," the orangette continued, her words tumbling out faster now. Her hands gesticulated wildly as she spoke. "B-but, what if I'm just getting carried away? W-What if I end up botching the university entrance exam? T-Then w-we won't be able to go to the same u-university. And t-then, w-we'll slowly drift apart, a-and-!"
"Chiyo," Kokomi cut her off, her voice uncharacteristically firm. She reached out, grasping Chiyo's flailing hands in her own. Lips pursed, nose scrunched, Chiyo made an anxious expression as she looked up at Kokomi.
"Chiyo, I.."
She struggled for words. What could Kokomi even tell her? Anything she could say felt inadequate.
"...I can't say I understand how Aiura-san's fortune telling works." She paused, hesitant. Her thumbs idly traced circles. "If you're going to say that she's right a hundred percent of the time, I'll believe you."
She let out a soft exhale that belied the maelstrom of gears turning in her head, sifting through all the possible words she could offer the girl.
"But, Chiyo. Your feelings for Kaidou-kun. They aren't half-hearted, are they?"
The girl gave a vigorous shake of her head, her orange hair whipping about her face. The action prompted a glimmering smile from Kokomi, but it quickly faded as she steeled herself for what she needed to say next.
"Chiyo..." Kokomi's voice softened. "At some level... I do realize that Aiura-san might be right. That... if you and Kaidou-kun were to date, as you guys are now, that it might not work out..."
Chiyo made a small wincing expression, and Kokomi felt a pang of guilt, but she pressed on, her hands moving to rest gently on Chiyo's shoulders.
"But, you know what, Chiyo?" Kokomi's voice gained strength. "I don't know a single person who cares about Kaidou-kun more than you do." She gave the girl's shoulders a soft, reassuring squeeze. "You've been trying so hard, Chiyo. You're studying all the time nowadays. You've been working so hard, trying to keep fit and slim. You've been putting so much time and effort into learning about Kaidou-kun's hobbies and likes."
"Kokomi..." Chiyo's eyes were wide and glistening.
"I know better than anyone else that Chiyo-chan's feelings are the real deal. And even though I worry at times that Chiyo-chan might scare Kaidou-kun off with her... intensity," she added with a light, teasing smile, "at the end of the day, I also know for a fact that Kaidou-kun cares a lot about you, Chiyo."
The bluenette closed her eyes for a moment, searching in her head for the right words. When she opened them again, they were filled with conviction.
"Chiyo, I... I don't believe that just because people are compatible, it automatically means that they'll make a good couple."
"...It doesn't?" Chiyo's brow furrowed in confusion.
Kokomi shook her head, her blue hair swaying gently. "This is just my personal take on the matter, but... no matter how well two people get along, a relationship doesn't last unless both partners continue to put effort into it." She grasped earnestly for words.
"When... When people get complacent, they stop putting in effort." Kokomi would know. She wasn't perfect pretty girl number one by sitting on her laurels. "That's when they stop going on dates, that's when they stop making romantic gestures, or giving compliments to each other. And they eventually fall out of love."
Chiyo listened intently, soaking in every word.
"And, Chiyo," Kokomi's voice grew stronger, more passionate. "If there is one thing I know for a fact, that I know you're better at than almost anyone else I know - it's putting effort into your love. I know better than anyone else just how hard you work, Chiyo."
Kokomi gave her an adoring smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "When Aiura-san says that you have a low compatibility with Kaidou-kun, in a way, I think that all it means is that there's just a lot of room for you and Kaidou-kun to grow closer, Chiyo. To come to understand each other better. And learn all sorts of new things about each other."
Kokomi softened her tone again, leaning in slightly. "If you give it some time... And have some faith. And continue giving it your best, I know the two of you could grow into exactly what you guys need..." She reached out, straightening the collar of Chiyo's shirt with a gentle touch. "Your compatibility can improve, Chiyo-chan." Kokomi finished, her voice rising with conviction. "I guarantee it!"
The other girl's expression, which had slowly been looking more and more hopeful throughout Kokomi's speech, erupted into an exuberant "Offu!"
Her eyes sparkled with renewed determination, a broad smile spreading across her face.
The bustling sounds of the mall seemed to fade back in around them, as if the world had been stopped holding its breath for the two. Chiyo stood a little taller, buoyed.
"Kokomi-chan!" Tossing aside the fabric she'd been holding, the girl leapt into a hug. "Oh, Kokomi! I hope so! I really hope so too!"
As the other girl continued to rub her teary-eyed face into Kokomi's chest, the bluenette - a little exasperated, but not at all against it - couldn't help but utter a single inaudible consolatory line.
"You still have a chance, Chiyo..."
"The blazer looked a little off, so I went with the Denim. Girls, how does it.. look?"
Aiura Mikoto walked out of the changing room to a strange scene. Chiyo, facing away from her, had her face buried in Kokomi's chest, hugging the girl to death.
Kokomi, noticing her arrival, returned Aiura a confused smile of her own, before shrugging.
Kokomi looked at her watch to see it was around two in the afternoon now. The girls had finished visiting a few more clothing stores. Aiura had bought a couple of new dresses. Chiyo had bought a bag's worth. Although she had been initially reluctant, Kokomi had been enticed into buying half a bag's worth of items as well.
For what it was worth, it had been fun. It had taken her mind off things. If only a little bit.
Stopping near another food court, the girls set their bags down. Aiura put some coins into the vending machine, getting herself a bottle of Sakura P*psi. It let out a small fizz as she unscrewed the cap, and she downed a third of it in one long gulp.
The girls had set their bags on a nearby bench. Chiyo seemed to be checking something on her phone. Kokomi saw Chiyo look up and search around for a second, before her eyes landed on one of the stores across from them.
'Otaku Corner' read the signage. Coming round from the vending machine, Aiura followed the girl's eyes to the place as well. Eyebrows raised, she took a gulp.
"I think I'll sit that one out, Chiyopippi," she said, taking a seat next to where she'd put her bags.
Chiyo didn't seem to mind.
Kokomi was contemplating who she should offer to keep company, when Chiyo decided for her. "Kokomi, you can stay. We've dragged you around long enough. It might take some time to find what I'm looking for anyway."
So she said. It didn't seem like she intended to elaborate what exactly she intended to search for at the moment.
"Watch over this for me, kay?" Chiyo said, pointing to the bag she'd placed on the bench. Aiura returned a "Yiss," as she gave a mock salute. Kokomi nodded as well, as she settled next to Aiura.
A brief silence stretched out between the two girls. It wasn't quite awkward, but neither was it entirely carefree. Kokomi absently smoothed a wrinkle in her skirt, while Aiura fiddled with the label on her drink bottle.
Aiura was the first to break the silence. Her eyes had been drawn to something glinting on Kokomi's purse, catching the light from the nearby storefront.
"Teruhashi-san," she said, leaning in slightly and pointing to the girl's purse, "That's a really cute key-chain you've got there! Where'd you get it?"
Aiura had noticed it a while earlier but hadn't found an occasion to bring it up. Now that she looked more closely, she had to admit it was quite charming - a pink, translucent rhinestone butterfly that seemed to shimmer with every slight movement.
"Thanks," Kokomi accepted the compliment graciously, a small smile lighting up her face. Her hand moved to touch the key-chain gently. "I... actually got it from a Gacha machine."
"Oh?" Aiura's interest was piqued. She took a sip of her drink, condensation cool against her fingers, and settled back, her body language inviting Kokomi to continue.
"It was... around the end of summer break, I think," Kokomi began, trying to recall the memory. "I happened to run into the guys near the arcade - I think they'd been working on homework together earlier in the day and wanted a break." A fond expression played across her features as she reminisced. "They ended up inviting me along. Kaidou-kun got really into a new Gacha machine there. I don't remember exactly what he'd been after, but he got this magnetic top that could spin hanging upside down."
"That sounds like something he'd be into."
"I know, right?" Kokomi replied, eyes crinkling in amusement.
Aiura's lips curved into a light grin. "So that's how you got the butterfly charm, huh?" A shadow passed over Kokomi's face, so brief Aiura might have imagined it.
"Actually.. it was Saiki-kun who won it," Kokomi said, her tone measured. "The others convinced him to try. I went after him and I happened to get this cute little plushie that kinda looked like Coffee Jelly. I asked him if he'd like to trade, and well..." She trailed off.
"That would certainly suit him way better."
Letting out a small chuckle, Aiura took another sip of her drink before setting it aside on the bench. She let out a thoughtful 'Hmm', turning slightly to face Kokomi more directly. There was a moment of hesitation, a subtle shift in the air between them as Aiura seemed to wrestle with something internally.
Finally, she spoke, her tone delicate, quite unlike her usual bubbly demeanor. "Teruhashi-san..." She paused, as if gathering courage. "You... like him, right?"
The question hung in the air between them, heavy. Kokomi almost thought she had misheard, her eyes widening slightly. It had come out of left field, but from Aiura's expression, it was clear this had been on her mind for a while.
Kokomi found herself scrambling to rein in her expression. A myriad of emotions flickered across her face as she regained her usual poise.
Lips pursed slightly, she met Aiura's gaze. "...Yeah," she admitted softly, not quite sure what else she could say.
"I... I see." Aiura's tone was uncharacteristically meek.
The subsequent lull in conversation was charged with a subtle tension that drowned out all ambient noises.
Aiura spoke up again, her tone conveying a recognition that she was treading into delicate territory. There was a sense that she realized she was coming in a little too hard, a little too quick, but that she had decided to swallow her reservations.
"Does... Does it bother you?" The question was posed gently. Aiura's eyes searched Kokomi's face, a mix of curiosity and something akin to concern in her gaze. "That I like him too?"
Kokomi turned to face her fully, not quite sure what expression to make. She had always suspected that Aiura Mikoto had been romantically interested in Saiki Kusuo, but she had never heard her outright admit it before.
The question echoed in Kokomi's mind: Did it bother her? That Aiura Mikoto also liked Saiki Kusuo? She'd be lying if she said it didn't.
A mix of emotions swirled within her, as Kokomi wrestled with how to respond.
"You know..." Aiura scratched her neck, looking a little sheepish. "If I'm being completely honest, I used to be a little intimidated by you, Teruhashi-san."
Aiura's eyes flickered back to Kokomi cautiously. The perfect pretty girl's composure faltered for a moment, her sapphire eyes growing round with surprise.
"With me, I always get the feeling like Ku- Saiki's treating me like one of his lackeys. Like he treats Toritsuka." A small, self-deprecating smile played at the corners of Aiura's mouth before her expression shifted, becoming more contemplative. She seemed to be weighing her next words carefully, teetering on the edge of a confession.
"If I'm really being honest," Aiura continued, her voice barely above a whisper, "I feel like... I've always been a little jealous of you, Teruhashi-san... Of how Saiki always seemed to hold you in high regard."
A wistful smile graced Aiura's features. "Not that I don't understand where he's coming from. You're a pretty cool girl, Teruhashi-san." Her usual gyaru intonation added a unique cadence to her words, somehow emphasizing their sincerity.
"Chiyopippi told me all about what happened yesterday," Aiura continued, her eyes brightening slightly. "How there was a big fight over at the first-years'. She couldn't stop going on about how mature and reliable you'd looked." She paused, her gaze dropping momentarily before she mustered the courage to meet Kokomi's eyes again.
"I'd... I'd been hoping to be able to become friends with you for quite some time, Teruhashi-san."
Aiura's words hit Kokomi like a gentle thunderbolt, her carefully cultivated poise slowly falling apart. It took her a moment to find her voice, her mind searching for an appropriate response.
"A-Aiura-san-" she began, but was cut off.
"Just call me Mikoto. Mikocchi is fine too." Aiura's smile was warm and inviting.
A wave of emotion washed over Kokomi, and she found herself smiling back, her eyes glistening slightly. "Gosh... I feel so stupid now," she murmured, her voice so soft it was almost inaudible.
"What was that?" Aiura asked, leaning in slightly.
Kokomi shook her head, her smile broadening into a radiant beam. "In that case, just call me Kokomi too."
A light grin spread across Aiura's face. "How about Terukoko?" she suggested.
"That works too," Kokomi replied, her amusement evident in her voice.
"Gotcha." Aiura grinned, lifting her drink for another sip. Meanwhile, Kokomi found herself at a crossroads, her mind whirring with indecision. Aiura's honesty had roused a desire to reciprocate.
Letting out a small sigh, Kokomi steeled herself. "Can I be a little honest too?" she asked, her voice soft but steady.
Aiura's response was an enthusiastic "Uh-hmm," muffled slightly by her drink.
Kokomi took a moment to gather her thoughts, her fingers idly tracing patterns on her skirt. "I... I think I was a little envious of you too, Ai- Mikocchi."
Aiura paused mid-sip, her eyes widening in surprise.
"The way you're so unreserved around him," Kokomi admitted, voice growing firmer. "How you can make conversations with him so easily... I've always been a bit jealous of that."
Aiura laughed softly. "Oh, he still tunes me out plenty," she said, setting her drink down. "Though I guess I am pretty shameless about ambushing him between classes."
"Doesn't he usually just slip away?" Kokomi teased, a smile tugging at her lips.
"Every single time," Aiura confirmed, her eyes dancing with mirth.
Grinning, the both of them dissolved into a fit of giggles. As their laughter subsided, a comfortable mood settled between them, the earlier tension all but melting away.
"You know, Mikocchi. You're... really a sweet person," Kokomi found herself saying.
Aiura cocked her head slightly, a mix of surprise and amusement on her face. "That's an odd way to put it," she said, her tone light. "People don't normally go out of their way to call me 'sweet'."
Cute? Sure. Sexy? Definitely. But sweet?
Kokomi shook her head, her blue hair swaying gently with the motion. She opened her mouth to respond, but found herself at a loss for words, a wave of strange emotions washing over her.
"Gosh... I-I feel so stupid." Her body shuddered slightly, and her eyes fell to the floor. Her fingers curled into fists in her lap, knuckles white with tension.
Aiura's expression shifted from amusement to concern in an instant. She leaned forward, her hand hovering uncertainly near Kokomi's arm. "Terukoko?" she asked, her voice laced with worry. "You... you alright?"
But Kokomi wasn't alright. She really wasn't.
Rifuta's words from earlier echoed in her mind. "I'd just prefer for senpai to be happy."
Even though Rifuta didn't like the idea of Kokomi spending time with Kusuo, she was willing to put her own feelings aside for Kokomi's sake. That simple gesture suddenly felt overwhelming.
In comparison... what could Kokomi say about her own feelings towards Kusuo? What.. What was it that she wanted for him? The questions swirled in her mind, bringing with them a tide of emotions.
She couldn't help but clench her fists tighter, her nails digging into her palms. The physical sensation would have been a welcome distraction from the turmoil within if it had at all registered.
Aiura's expression grew increasingly worried, at a loss for what to do. It took Kokomi a second to realize why Aiura looked so alarmed.
With a start, Kokomi became aware of a warm wetness on her cheeks. She blinked, and felt more tears spill over. Her vision blurred, the world around her becoming a kaleidoscope of indistinct shapes and colors.
Kokomi was crying.
Just once...
"Just once... I wanted to make him react."
I can feel my breath hitch at the admission. The words that catch in my throat feel like shards of glass. And the heat in my eyes threaten to spill over.
"I.. I wanted to see him make an expression. Any sort of expression." A smile, a frown... An Offu..
I can't help but let out a wry smile at that thought. How pitiful. To have been clinging so desperately so long for that meager an acknowledgment.
"Something.. Anything... In the end, he never let me in. Not even once.."
The words tumble out. Like a dam giving way, and I can't help it.
"Saiki has all these... walls around him, keeping everyone at a distance. I... I thought I could be different. That I could be the one to tear them down."
I don't know if I could keep my hands from clenching if I tried.
"But I can't!" The words burst out of me, filled with despair. I can feel my chest constricting.
Why does it hurt so much?
"I'm sorry... But I can't return your feelings."
Kusuo's words echo in my mind with a certain cold clarity. No more room for misinterpretations or false hope.
"I'm not the one he wants..."
My voice cracks on the last word. The floor tiles beneath me are already an indistinct blurry haze. My cheeks burn. I can hear myself sniffling.
God, I feel so pathetic.
In my peripheral vision, I catch sight of Aiura's panicked expression. Eyes are wide with concern, darting between me and the crowd amassing around us. But I can barely focus on her.
And the words just keep pouring out. "I'm not the one he wants!"
It comes out as a wail, startling even myself. No longer held at bay by shock or denial, I can feel the full weight of the rejection crashing into me. Like a mad freight train.
...I don't think it had really hit me until now, the true significance behind his words. The utter finality of it all.
Last night, everything had been shrouded in a hazy numbness. A part of me had clung to this faint hope that maybe it was all just a bad dream.
That I'd wake up. And everything would go back to how they'd always been...
But it won't! And the stabbing feeling in my chest's only all too real.
My vision's a mess, all obscured and blurred. I catch pieces of the crowd forming around us - their curious murmurs and prying eyes. And its a small pity that Aiura-san frantic gestures fail to offer me any comfort. I can barely make out her words.
And yet, I still can't bring myself to stop.
"I hate it! I hate it! That I can't do anything about it! That I can't be the one!" I can feel my breath coming in ragged gasps. My body shuddering from the force of its own words.
Some small part of me is mortified at breaking down like this in public. The perfectly pretty, ever-composed Teruhashi Kokomi, reduced to... this.
But I'm beyond caring.
"B-But." The words choke themselves out. Each feeling like barbed wire, tearing at my throat as it escapes. "...But the thought." Sniffle. "T-that." Sniffle. "S-Saiki might." Sniffle. "M-might go through life." Large Sniffle. "W-Without ever being able to open up to anyone..."
My throat feels dry. God, my throat feels so dry...
But I just can't stop. Like its some sort of horrid emotional gag reflex.
I find my gaze drawing to Aiura's face. She looks absolutely stricken, hazel green eyes wide with worry. "K-Kokomi...!" she stammers, frantically rummaging through her purse. Probably searching for tissues or something to help.
...Aiura really was such a sweet girl, wasn't she? Candid. Sassy. Hip and bubbly. Unreserved. Many things I wasn't.
And the words form before I can stop them.
"If it's someone like you..." Sniff.
What am I even saying?
"I-If it's you-"
The words die in my throat. I can't bring myself to finish the thought. To give voice to it.
The murmurs of the crowd grow louder, pressing in on me from all sides. But they feel distant. Unimportant.
All I can focus on is the image forming in my mind. Saiki and someone else... Saiki and Aiura. If she could be the one...
The one to make Kusuo happy. To break through those thick walls of his.
The thought that nearly chokes me is strangely bittersweet. And I feel another stupid wave of tears welling up.
Kh-!
"If-f that's..." Sniffle. "If that's.. t-that's what it'll take.." Sniffle. The girl raised her gaze, her eyes bloodshot and glassy, rimmed with the raw redness. Hot tears cascaded down her cheeks, leaving glistening trails on her pale skin. Yet, even in this state, she somehow retained an ethereal beauty, a fragile elegance that refused to be smothered by anything.
"I-I..."
Her voice caught in her throat, choking on the words that refused to come out. Her chest heaved as she struggled to breathe, her sobs breaking through like cracks in a dam.
But somehow, despite the storm raging within her, she managed to steady herself.
Despite it all. A smile crept onto her trembling lips. It was a faint, wavering smile, one that threatened to fall apart at any moment, but it was there nonetheless — defiant and resolute.
Her sapphire eyes, now half-lidded and tinged with an intimate shade of red, glimmered with a mixture of sorrow and something else, something almost akin to acceptance. The moisture on her cheeks shimmered in the dim light, painting her skin with a fragile glow that only made her look more hauntingly beautiful.
And in that moment, her heart clenched, the pain twisting like a vice tightening around a shard of glass buried deep within her.
She smiled the most beautiful, bittersweet smile in the world.
"I-I don't think I'd mind it so much anymore..."