Above The Moon

by JSBG

She really is here. Brittany is here, and you think over the past 10 years without her, trying to figure out how destiny didn't bring you back together sooner, but you guess it just wasn't the right time. Warning: G!P

6. Chapter 6

Title: Above The Moon
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 15.6k

Summary: She really is here. Brittany is here, and you think over the past 10 years without her, trying to figure out how destiny didn't bring you back together sooner, but you guess it just wasn't the right time.

Notes: This is a long one, but it's finally getting to the point... Hope you enjoy and thank you for your reviews!

/

It's the day of Kurt and Blaine's wedding, and it's everything they dreamt of in their perfect gay lives.

Nothing goes wrong, it runs smoothly and you're happy for Kurt and Blaine after they're announced husband and husband, and you grin at them, clapping away as they walk down the aisle, ducking their heads as rainbow coloured biodegradable confetti is thrown and people cheering their names. You laugh a little, having more fun than you expected and Cassie's cool too. She's as you remember her, but dressed, and she's not draping herself over you, which is kind of nice, even if she's already told you she's game for another session later if she doesn't find anyone else here.

You would be offended, but you've already seen Brittany twice and she's looking so beautiful it's actually hurting you, and it's not like you're hoping to hook up with her but like… You just feel weird hitting on Cassie in front of her considering last night you were fucking on your sofa after forgetting about 27 Dresses.

Brittany's been with Kitty and another blonde you don't recognise anyway, but there's no sign of a guy on her arm so you're guessing she didn't bring her date after all and so you've waved from a distance… Twice, but that's it and you've stolen like, two shy glances, too, so you're good for now.

Anyway, everyone moves into the courtyard area for the celebration part of things, and Kurt's dad makes a speech, Blaine's mom is here too – who's hot as hell, but in a cougar kind of way – and everyone takes their assigned seats at different tables. You're on a table with Rachel, Mercedes and Cassie and a few others, and Brittany's on another one which sucks, but it's fine really as you can talk to her later and she's still got two other blondes with her, and you eat your wedding breakfast and chat with the other people around the table to make the time pass.

Before you know it, it's time for the first dance and everyone crowds around the make-shift dance floor as Kurt and Blaine sweep in. You don't even register their chosen song as a newlywed as it's so overly atypical that you roll your eyes and withhold the urge to vomit everywhere, but they're kind of cute too as they mouth the words to each other.

Mercedes nudges you in the arm when you stick two fingers down your throat at her, pretending like this isn't getting you a little bit sappy, but it's only because you've known them for ages now and you're kind of a bitch, so.

(Although it's really hard to maintain the bitch façade when Brittany flashes you a knowing tilt of the head from across the dance floor after catching the action, silently scolding you and reading through it as you're only doing it as you're kind of jealous of what those two have.)

(They've been through hell and back and are still madly in love.)

Anyway, the DJ announces that it's time for everyone to join in, and you crane your neck to search for Cassie as you should be polite and ask her, but she's already being whirled on to the dance floor by a tall Asian guy and you shake your head, exhaling through your nose. You're not actually bothered, but you thought she might stick around for a bit.

Except when you're searching around the dance floor, seeing who's dancing with who and what will be the gossip of tomorrow, you come across Kitty and the other blonde she was with, being twirled around by various men. Which wouldn't be weird if you weren't incredibly aware that Brittany's not with them anymore. She's sat all alone as you find her when you search (a little desperately) as you lost the eye contact when you were blushing super hard at the look she gave you.

She's sat on a table, all by herself, chin rested in her arm with her elbow propping her up, and you tilt your head to the side as you read her expression. It's also an opportune moment to go over there, and you two are friends so it wouldn't be weird, and you convince yourself that's enough of a reason because the longer you look at her, you quicker you realise she's not even inside her own head and entirely distracted by thoughts whilst staring at the throng of people dancing.

So you move, going around the dance floor with your eyes trained on her and when you're a few steps away, you hear her sigh loudly, not noticing you're behind. You don't want to scare her, so you clear your throat quietly and her head snaps around, eyes growing wide when they land on you, but an instant smile graces her face. It kind of makes your stomach flip, but you're trying not to focus on that and instead what you're going to say.

"You wanna dance?"

Blue eyes narrow slightly as Brittany clenches her jaw but you can tell she's trying not to smile too widely, even if she hesitates. "Where's your date?" She asks tentatively.

"Somewhere else," you admit, eyes flitting across the dance floor where a cute Asian guy is around spinning your date. You think his name is Mike. "But I didn't ask her to dance because I don't want to dance with her," you say as you glance back to the blonde you stare up at you with bright eyes. "So do you wanna dance with me?"

She doesn't get up immediately, which strikes you as strange and sends a panicked thought that you've done something wrong, but you just hold out your hand because it's not weird and shouldn't be. If she didn't, that'd probably be weird as she'd have to explain why she wouldn't, and you don't think there's a reason. But there's still something in her eyes, dulling them but before you can question her about it, or how she's feeling as you think it's to do with that, she slides her palm into yours and you back away to the dance floor.

Her arms wind around your neck, draping over your shoulders when you get there and you pull her close by the grip you have on her hips now, thankful that you chose to wear heels as you're now almost as tall as she is, but when you try to look her in the eye, she's staring around the room, looking at anything but you. What did you do?

"Are you okay?"

Brittany flinches a little at the question but tightens the grip on your shoulders and sucks her lips in, nodding. She finally glance back to you and that thing is still there, behind her eyes. "Yeah, I'm good," she breathes, the corners of her lips tugging up, but you wouldn't call it a smile. You'd call it an attempt at one, and when she sways the topic, you think you've just caught wind of something she doesn't want you to catch wind of. "The wedding's all gone to plan, I guess?"

"Yeah, Kurt was freaked out about it a few days ago but looks like it paid off," you reply, because conversation is easy.

It always has been between you two and especially when you're this close, swaying to the love ballad playing overhead. You also don't know the boundaries with you two now, as you've spent more time being friends than like, friends with benefits, but it's still been at an arm's length for some reason and so you're unsure if you're allowed to call her out on the obvious.

She must know you know her better than this. You always have done.

"That's great," Brittany replies, lowering her chin to your shoulder and stepping closer until your bodies are completely pressed together. It feels a little too close, but it doesn't feel like she's about to reach down and grab you or anything, it just feels… Intimate. You're just stepping side to side, not really moving but moving to the beat overhead and it's so not like Brittany to not put effort into dancing that it just can't be a coincidence, and it begins bugging you.

So much so that you can't resist in asking her, as if feels like if you don't, you'll regret it. "What's wrong?"

Blue eyes flash to you. "Nothing," Brittany replies, sucking her lips in but you've always been able to see it and quirk a brow. She smiles, genuinely for the first time since you asked her to dance, and chuckles lightly, resting her chin back on your shoulder. "Work's just stressful and some of the people I work with is here tonight, so it's just reminding me of stuff I've got to sort out."

It's a plausible enough explanation, but it doesn't sit right. The way she didn't look you in the eye when you said it, or how she's still not entirely with it, or even with you right now, like her mind is somewhere completely different, is speaking volumes but you know if she wanted to talk, she would. Maybe you just aren't as good of friends as you thought, and maybe you need to brush up on your Brittany skills as you could've just misread it.

But you don't want her to feel uncomfortable, nor do you want to stop dancing with her, so you choose to skip over it. Your eyes find her friends, dancing away behind her and you nudge back her head with your chin until she's gazing back at you once again. Her eyes are still slightly empty, still showing that thing you saw earlier but you can't make her tell you.

(Even if you want to.)

"Who's your new friend?"

Brittany frowns, but then peers over her shoulder and sees the blonde you don't know. "Oh, that's Quinn," she replies and turns back. "Why are you asking?"

"Just wondered," you reply with a lift of your shoulder. You don't care who she is, but she did come with Brittany and if you're going to be friends, you should know her friends, too. She knows most of yours already in one way or another, as it turns out, and that's a normal step in a friendzone, right?

But she just weakly smiles, and again, you don't understand but then you think back to what she said about work, and you know that's an avenue you should go down, conversationally. Apparently asking her who she came with isn't leading anywhere, and maybe she thinks you're actually asking where that guy she was seeing is – considering she did say she might bring him – and that's also not something she wants to discuss, but you know what you can say.

Something that'll put her into a more comfortable area, as she seems to be doing the weird avoiding teetering thing she always used to as a teenager.

"I can talk to Wheezy if she's putting too much pressure on you," you whisper and she twitches a smile at you, her eyes roaming around your face. "I haven't bitched out at her in a while."

Brittany chuckles quietly, a spark brightening her eyes for just a moment and your body relaxes, feet moving a little faster as you begin swaying more with her, going in circles, and avoiding the bodies around you. She's back, or at least she is for the next following seconds, and you know you have said the right thing this time. Maybe you do know her better and should make assumptions based off your old friendship as you were best friends as well as girlfriends and that'll get you further.

But it doesn't, and you only realise that when she meets your eye again and stares for a beat too long, and it feels weirdly significant. For what reason, you don't know, but that fucking thing you can't figure out is now back behind her eyes as she shakes her head and lowers her chin back to your shoulder, whispering into your ear, "No, it's fine… It'll be fine," she hushes.

And if it weren't the third time she'd broken eye contact, or the third time she chose to rest her cheek against your neck, you would call her out on it, but you know her well enough to know this particular book is now closed, and that's something you'll have to adjust to as you guess this is the new friendship.

So you just keep dancing and rest your cheek against blonde hair.

/

A little while later, you're up at the bar, getting a drink.

Kitty and the other blonde – Quinn, you remember Brittany saying – stole Brittany away after just one dance, and you didn't like it, but you were trying to be polite, and you promised Kurt you wouldn't start any drama which would've happened as it was like taking a treat away from a loyal dog. You're really trying to keep to it, so you flashed them a tight-lipped smile and said you were thirsty anyway so that's why you're here.

You sip on your drink and lean on the bar backwards, watching the dance floor and smiling at the few people that twirl by, not wanting to interact with them. Cassie is still with that Mike guy from earlier, as you can see her in the far corner beside a palm tree, with her tongue down his throat but you really don't care; you're more bothered about why Brittany was so weird, and you get to think it over for a solid five minutes before you're interrupted.

A body slides up to the side, and you don't recognise them instantly, so you just offer a light smile, but then the blonde is taking the drink given to her by the bartender and matching your position, like you're friends and to be honest, she's way too close to you and it takes a second to register who it is.

It's Quinn, someone you don't know but Brittany does, and whereas you'd usually snap at them for getting up in your grill, you suppose you could just make small talk and she obviously is hovering around for a reason.

Maybe she wants to introduce herself personally.

"Hey," you say, turning your head to look at her.

She has stunning hazel eyes, and you only notice because they narrow when she looks at you. "I'm Quinn," she says, in lieu of a greeting and you frown – because rude – but okay. "Brittany's best friend."

"Yeah, I know who you are," you reply with a light smile and sip your drink, but the attitude you're currently being given isn't going amiss. Maybe Quinn's a bitch and she's not even trying to hide it with the hardened stare she's aiming at you so you can give it back. Perhaps she'll take it as a battle of the alphas and back down. "I'm Kurt's best friend," you point over to one of the grooms. "Guess that means we're friends now… Just through association."

Quinn doesn't laugh, doesn't even twitch her lips, just continues glaring. "Yeah because you know Brittany," she deadpans. "You're friends from way back, I hear."

You still don't understand why she came up to you if she's only planning on questioning yours and Brittany's friendship, but you guess she probably knows about your past, too. "What's your point?"

"My point," Quinn starts, taking a step closer which is now way too close, and you even lean back to get away, but she's insistent and leans over instead. "Is that I'd like to talk to you about you and Brittany."

You scoff quickly, exhaling through your nose and let your eyes wander out to the dance floor. You're really not enjoying this attitude and the memory of Kurt specifically asking you not to start any shit is hovering around in your mind. It is his wedding day, and you've got to remember that, but having a stranger up in your face, asking you about a subject you're vulnerable over, is seriously threatening your restraint.

But you need to keep it calm and cool. She probably means no harm.

"Why?" You ask, trying to convey how uninterested you are with a dismissive tone. Maybe she'll leave you alone.

But she doesn't. The blonde doesn't back off, just stays strong in her position and your vision flits back to see her nostrils flare, like you're pissing her off. You're kind of enjoying it and you can't help but smirk at her as she's the one that started this weird tension. You would've quite happily made up some bullshit to talk about to acquaint yourself, so that later you can tell Brittany that you spoke to Quinn and that'd make it easier to see each other if they are best friends, like Quinn says.

Had you known you would've been interrogated, you probably would've just taken your drink and left.

"I get that you two have a history," Quinn begins, tone clipped and her fingertips drum against the bar top loud enough for you to hear. "But I've asked around about you and it doesn't take more than a quick search online to find out that you don't exactly think with your… brain," her eyes flit down and you suck in a shocked gasp, but just swallow it so you don't show her you're reacting. You know where this is going now; she's about to warn you off. "You can't have famous friends without being caught in the background, you know," she quirks and that makes you turn your full attention to her.

You know you have a past. You know who you are. You know you've had countless women in your bed, and you know you've been caught by the paparazzi as you're the 'hot publicist of Rachel Berry' after a social media post about your ass went low key viral. What you don't know is why Quinn thinks it's appropriate to come up to you at a freaking wedding, pester you with shit that isn't any of her damn business, and then judge you for your reputation?

Hell no. It pisses you off. Pisses you off to the point where your hand begins shaking from where it's grasping your drink, and the rim hits your teeth as you take a sip, but you know you can't lash out. Despite all the fury building in your chest, and the heat scorching across your skin as you just want to slap a bitch, you know this isn't the ideal place to do that and that's a take Quinn should've had when she considered coming over here.

(Even if she doesn't have any personal connection to either of the grooms. You're not really sure why she's here.)

So you swallow it. You put all your energy into pushing it down and clench your jaw after the sip you take, glaring at her fiercely for a second before looking out towards the dance floor again.

"You don't know anything about me."

"I know enough," she snaps back without blinking. "And I won't stand by the side-lines if you disrespect or hurt Brittany," she continues and eyes your drink before plucking it out your hand, earning your visual attention once again as your nails of your now empty hand dig into the skin of your palm. "Mark my words, Santana… I will end you," she finishes, gritting her teeth and staring deeply into your eyes for a beat too long before flashing a too-wide smile and backing off, but not walking away.

And you don't know what you're more confused about.

The part where she assumed you were even capable of hurting Brittany, or how she just threatened you like you've done something to piss Brittany off, or even the part where she thinks she has a fucking clue about you and Brittany's relationship. None of which are or could be true, and you clench your jaw, nostrils flaring as you stare at the blonde, half-expecting her to take back what she said but she just holds it strong, and you know she isn't even going to pretend like she wants to.

Now you're really fucked off.

So you've got to walk away. If Quinn isn't going to, you need to.

"Right, okay," you drone and snatch your glass back, tipping back the rest of it, slamming the empty glass on the bar as you take a large step away from her but don't break the eye contact. "Well, as great as meeting you has been, I'm going to leave," you quirk with a matched forced grin, but anger strikes through you when Quinn doesn't even seem phased by your flat tone, just smiles. "Before I'm forced to slap you so hard you won't wake up until that dress is back in fashion," you add on and that breaks the smile staring back. Good.

When she doesn't reply immediately, you spin away and start to do as you said, but apparently Quinn's dumb enough to freaking touch you after the obvious warning and fingers wrap around your arm, halting your movement. You whip your head around, teeth bared and Snixx fully prepared to burst through your chest, but that fucking fake smile is back on Quinn's face and it catches you off guard. This bitch just doesn't let up.

"I'm serious," she entreats, voice hard and dead. "Don't fuck around with her, Santana."

This time, you find yourself with nothing to say and Quinn drops her hand away from you before widening the grin and spinning away, retreating through the dance floor and out the other side to the bathroom.

You're not intimidated by anyone, but shit… You might have a worthy opponent once and for all.

/

You don't see Brittany for the rest of the night.

You try, and literally search every available area so you can pull her to the side and ask what the fuck Quinn was talking about – it must have come from somewhere and now you're kind of confused for more reasons as you don't get what Brittany could've said to evoke such a reaction out of her friend – but to no avail. The venue isn't that big, and most of the places are roped off for the employees here so you don't think she'd go there, and you eventually give up when the crowd starts thinning out and you can't find any of the three blondes you're searching for.

They've been together most of the night, so it makes sense to think if you find one, you find the other two and the one you're really looking for.

But you don't and you head on home disappointed and irritated (and alone as Cassie left a while ago with Mike) kissing your friends and the newlyweds on the cheek before you slip into a cab and get back to your apartment. It's dark and cold, and you change out of your dress and grab a glass of wine before heading to the sofa, taking your phone with you as you begin wondering if it's too late to call Brittany. It's not midnight yet, and she's called you in the middle of the night recently just to chat when she couldn't sleep, so you don't think it would be inappropriate, but you don't really know anymore.

What Quinn said has thrown your thoughts into a spiral, because you could only disrespect or hurt Brittany if sleeping together meant more than just sex, but she was the one that initiated it and directly told you she wasn't looking for anyone to date. She's made it obvious what's going on, and you agreed yourself and so you're doubting that that's the reason for Quinn getting all up in your grill, but it just doesn't sit right because that's not something to be pissed over.

You two are friends. You've just had sex a few times as well.

There's no way Quinn would've said all that shit to you unless she had a reason. You don't know her, like she doesn't know you, but you're aware of your reputation and Brittany must be too, and if it doesn't bother her then it shouldn't bother Quinn, but obviously it does.

You just don't get why.

You click down on Brittany's name and bring the phone to your ear, knowing you can't linger over it, or you'll find reasons not to call, but the line just rings out and you hear Brittany's voicemail message after a couple of seconds. Not the outcome you wanted, but she might be asleep, so you just shoot her a text asking her to call you when she wakes up and settle down into the couch, flicking on the television and sipping at your wine, just in case she's in the shower or something and will call back soon instead.

But she doesn't, and you fall asleep with your phone clutched in your hands.

/

You and Brittany were fifteen when you lost the V card to each other.

You had been talking about it for the few months before, as you'd spent pretty much every single second together since she literally stumbled into your life beneath the damn bleachers, but you'd never been so happy before.

Everything about her was good and beautiful and made you feel like anything was possible. You were obsessed with her. You literally couldn't get enough and sometimes snuck over to her house and climbed up the trellis, just to fall asleep next to her and wake up before her family did and get angry about the broken open door policy.

They knew about you two and were incredibly supportive, but also knew about teenage hormones and that policy was strictly in place whenever you were over, so that was another reason you snuck over at night. You had done some over the clothes touching but hadn't even gone second base as you had a hard enough (pun intended) time just making out with the girl. The things she did to you were insane, and you didn't want to blow your load in two seconds if she touched you, so you were sort of training with your left hand.

It was your best friend and you used it regularly to contain all the pent up tension between your thighs so that you didn't come in your boxers everything she bit down on your neck during a make out session.

But anyway, you had talked about it and had sent some risky pictures to each other in compromising positions to tease what was to come, but you just wanted to do it the right way. You wanted to go through all the bases eventually, when Brittany felt comfortable and you had some stamina, and then maybe even have a Prom night pact as you were totally cliché anyway. You were the badass and she was the happy-go-lucky co-captain of the Cheerios, all smiles, and rainbows and so it seemed fitting to do things the normal teenage route.

But you wanted to respect her. Sure, you'd discussed losing the V card, but you hadn't even stepped out into second base, and you knew it was a much bigger deal for people with vaginas over people with dicks. You'd heard the jocks chat shit about some of the Cheerios and you didn't want for her. You didn't want it to be just anything, as sappy as it was, because she just deserved red roses and candlelight and all that other romantic crap.

Or that's how you planned it in your head, anyway.

It didn't quite go like that, like most things don't, and it was a normal Thursday afternoon in the middle of Summer. It was like every other day; you and Brittany were out in her pool, swimming about after school, flicking water at each other, and hiding in the corner to make out before you got too hot and had to swim away. Her parents were inside so it wasn't like you could cop a feel beneath the water, even though she was wearing a very skimpy bikini that made your mouth water and teased you at any chance she got.

Which is where it started.

"You need to put some sunscreen on," you observed, wading over to Brittany as she laid out on a pool lounger. Your hands skimmed up the side of the rubber, squeaking against the material and she beamed a grin at you, flicking her sunglasses down to the end of her nose to peer over them at you.

"You wanna do it for me?" She purred, a devious glint in her eye.

You groaned loudly, twisting the float so you were down by her feet. That was a safe zone, and she was testing you by kissing you alone earlier, so the thought of rubbing sun cream over her perfect body was almost too much to even think about.

"You gotta stop that," you tried to sound stern, but she could see straight through it and fired a smirk back at you. You laughed through your nose and pushed at her feet playfully, but she scrunched her face up at you, kicking back but missing. "Seriously, your parents are inside, and I think if I touch you for more than two seconds we're going to have a problem."

"A problem?" Brittany leaned forward, hands pressing to sides of the float and her legs dropped into the pool, legs spread either side of it. "What kind of problem?" She whispered, still looking over the rim of her sunglasses but she was biting her lip now and you forced yourself to look away, blinking rapidly. You already looked at the spot between her legs when she moved, and you knew she was doing it on purpose.

"A problem I'll have to solve in the bathroom with my left hand," you hissed, keeping your voice low as you glanced over to the double doors leading indoors.

In the few weeks prior to that moment, you and Brittany had been making out and you'd got rock solid in under 60 seconds, so you had to relieve yourself as the open door policy was kind of a cockblock. She always found it irritatingly adorable and told you to use the lotion in the cabinet beneath the sink and you so didn't want to do that then. You'd just got back into the pool after getting both of you drinks, and her bag as she asked you to for some reason, and you fully expected her to be teasing you with her tongue between her teeth like she always did.

But when you looked back, Brittany was leaning forward now, elbows pressed into the end of the lounger where her feet just were, and you were momentarily distracted with her position. She was super flexible, her back was straight, but she was basically folded in half, and you were amazed how she was keeping balance. If you were in her position, you would've toppled into the water, but you quickly got over that thought when you saw the way she was looking at you, blue eyes dark and narrowed, the sunglasses now floating in the pool away from you.

"Maybe I could help you instead."

/

You wake up in the morning to no missed calls, but a text sent at 4am this morning.

You hiss at yourself, mostly because you've got a small wine hangover and that means headache, but also because had you stayed awake – albeit 4 hours after calling her – you could've fallen asleep after talking shit out with her. But you didn't, and so you scan over the few words on the screen and frown instantly.

Sorry I missed your call. Had too much to drink so had to leave the wedding early. Speak later? I've got classes all day – B

Considering you asked her to call you, that isn't what you wanted, but you know wouldn't have bothered you before and Quinn giving you shit shouldn't change that, but you just feel all out of sorts now. Prior to yesterday, you thought it was all good with Brittany and yeah, she was weird when you were dancing and didn't even say goodbye, but you wouldn't have fretted over it like you are now. Now you're wondering if she's avoiding you as she kind of did that last night, but you're probably just overthinking it.

Nothing's even happened, and you need to not hover over it.

With that thought, you push up and off the sofa, cracking your bones back into place as you head for the shower.

/

All the blood ran from your face and gathered in your groin, and it was shit like that, that turned you on like a fucking light switch.

It wasn't the first time she'd said something like that, so you didn't reply immediately and just stared at her, but she wasn't laughing it off or telling you she was teasing – you both did that – and the smile dropped from your face.

"What did you say?"

She giggled and you pinched your thighs together in the water. Those swim shorts did not have enough material to cover your boner if you had to get out and that'd be interesting to explain to Brittany's parents.

"You heard me," she replied, her voice low as she dropped one hand to the lounger and crept across it with her fingertips. "My parents have got to go and pick up my little sister soon, so we'll have the place to ourselves."

Because you'd talked about it recently, you weren't shocked. What you were shocked over though was how blatant she was being. She wasn't even ashamed, just gazing you in the eye like she wasn't suggesting you creep into the second base zone and as frozen as you were emotionally, your body was responding for you. You bobbed your head rapidly, and she grinned widely, clearly finding you adorable which was kind of annoying as you wanted nothing more than to slip your hand beneath her bikini and make the smile drop from her face, but then she was reeling back and returning to her previous position.

Just in time for Whitney – her mom – to poke her head out the double doors and call her name.

"Hey, Britt!" The older woman called, and she was kind of a cool mom, but she had her rules and you obeyed them, so you took a step back but kept your grip on the lounger. The woman was cool, but she could be scary as hell, kind of like Brittany, and you did have a boner and were alarmingly aware that people can see through water. "Your dad and I are going to get Jaime!"

Brittany threw her mom a smile and plucked her sunglasses off the waterline, putting them on her face quickly. "Okay!" She yelled. "We're gonna stay in the pool."

"Have fun, girls!"

Whitney disappeared once again, shutting the door but you were straight up confused. You waited until you heard the front door shut from the other side of the house before pulling the float back towards you, brows furrowed as you stared at your girlfriend. She just told her mom that you two were going to stay in a pool, but a second ago she was inferring that you were about to feel each other up at least a bit so you thought you were going to get out and head upstairs.

"We're staying in the pool?" You asked, and Brittany held a finger up at you, craning her ear up into the air to hear the sound of her parents car roaring to life and heading out the driveway before she turned back to you.

And somehow, you got even more turned on when she looked at you that time. Her eyes were hidden behind her sunglasses as she pushed at your shoulders and slipped off the float and into the pool, tossing them aside quickly. She didn't even verbally respond, instead flashed you a quick smirk before arms were wrapping around your neck and she was kissing you. Her grip was tight, her body pressing against yours and backing you up until you hit the edge of the pool, and if she hadn't stolen your breath by stroking her tongue into your mouth, which would've done it.

But you were far too interested in knowing how she was going to help you with your 'problem'. You were in a pool, so you knew your options were limited but you didn't care. Her touching you in any capacity was good in that moment because you'd made out so many times and had to force yourself away from her that day alone that you were insanely aroused. Every part of you was on fire since she slipped into that damn bikini, and all you could think about as her teeth nipped at your bottom lip was how easy it'd be to just slip it aside and touch where you'd been dreaming about for months.

"San," Brittany whispered against your mouth, barely parting your lips to say the words. She was hot for you, you could tell by the way her hips were pressing into yours, your bulge going right where she needed it and your eyes rolled into the back of your head when she moved her kisses to your cheek, then your jaw, then down your throat. She knew exactly where to touch you, to kiss you, to drive you fucking crazy, but you were really trying to respect the boundaries you'd set, even though she'd already suggested going across them. "I think… I-I want…"

She didn't finish her sentence, just brought her head up to look you in the eye, lips swollen, and blonde hair wet at the ends, but you could see something different in her eyes and felt the atmosphere shift. Arms slid down from your neck, hands clutching at your shoulders and the water splashed around your bodies, the sounds bringing a natural calmness but nothing about you was calm. She was the one who suggested helping and now you were freaking out that she was scared and trying to figure out a way of backing out without offending you.

But you wouldn't have been offended. You'd go at whatever pace she wanted.

"It's okay," you tried, but her face twisted up and she shook her head, biting her lip.

"No, no," she whispered, voice strained, and you saw her gulp. Your hands that were on her hips beneath the water squeeze reassuringly because as much as you wanted to do dirty, dirty things to her, you were more concerned with her worrying about it or freaking out.

But you were wrong. She definitely wasn't doing either of those things.

"I think I wanna… do it," she added, her voice lower than before and a smirk spread across her face, but your mouth just dropped open.

"Do what?"

Brittany cocked a brow as an immediate response, and you only asked to be sure even though you knew the answer before the question left your mouth. That really wasn't a time for miscommunication, and you had to check that she was talking about sex.

But yup. She was.

"You heard me," she repeated her words from earlier and your entire body flushed with heat as her fingers crept around to your hair, twirling a strand around her finger, blue eyes going to the movement before they slowly dragged back to meet your dark ones.

"But we haven't even done… stuff…" You dipped your head slightly, glad that your body was doing its own thing as your mind was blanking.

You weren't even sure you knew what you were saying because if you were right, you weren't about to get a handjob or whatever… You were about to have sex, and you were suddenly super fucking aware that you hadn't even scratched the surface of second or third base, so to skip over them was genuinely a shock to the system. That wasn't the natural order of things, but you also knew you and Brittany did exactly conform to normal rules, so you didn't have to follow the same path as everyone else.

Still though… You were totally caught off guard by what she was saying.

"So what do you think?" Brittany quirked, biting down on her bottom lip, and stroking her nose over the tip of yours, breathing against your mouth. "Did you bring my bag?"

It was off topic, so you stilled in position, brows furrowing as your eyes darted left and right. You wanted to scream FUCK YES, but it didn't seem too appropriate as you really didn't want to come across too eager. Excitement would lead to you getting hot in under a split second and if it happened, you didn't want to harm your stamina before you even started. Plus, the second question kind of threw you off too and your eyes darted from left to right in confusion.

"Uh, yeah... I brought your bag."

"Where is it?"

You reeled back to get a proper look at her face, not sure where that conversation was going. "Why?"

Brittany grinned, but you could see a glint in her eye as she nudged your nose again, acting like she was about to kiss you but stopping before doing so. "Because I wanna show you something," she explained and again, you were confused. You could've sworn you were just talking about having sex and you really thought it was going to continue down that path, but you were curious. You couldn't deny it. "Can you get it for me, please?"

She punctuated her question with a kiss, light and soft and you inhaled sharply through her nose, pushing forward to deepen it but she was caught up on the whole bag thing – you couldn't help but be more focused on the whole sex part of it instead – and resisted. You pouted, which she scrunched her face up, but blue eyes flitted over your shoulder to the sun lounger with her bag on it and you did as you were told, parting with a groan to push up on the edge of the pool, stretching over to grab it before sinking back down into the water.

You turned around, holding it up and Brittany plucked it from your hand, smirking intensely as she reached inside and grabbed something. She handed the bag back to you without another word, and you craned your neck to try and steal a peek, but she just shook her head, the smirk growing as she hid the item.

"Put it back on the side, please," she demanded softly, and you were turned on and confused (and a little irritated as you were really hoping you weren't going to be blue balled now but would be okay with it if you did) but again, you did it and then you spun back around, a small distance away from her and your palms skimmed across the top of the waterline. "So, I was going to talk to you about this properly," she continued, and you bit down on your bottom lip, moving towards her again as she clasped the hidden object between her hands above the water. "But I feel like it's as good of a moment as ever."

You nodded slowly, wanting to show you were understanding but also conveying that you really didn't understand what was going on. "Okay…" You let out, voice slow and sucked your lips into your mouth. "What is it?"

Brittany held your eyes, and you could see the nerves behind hers as she opened her hands to reveal a small, pale pill container. It was oval in shape, and you took a second to realise what it was but when you did, your mouth dropped open and eyes widened. You'd seen enough movies and had the birds, and the bees talk from your mom, so you knew that it was contraception, but you had no idea that she was on it, and more importantly, why she was on it.

"Uh, Britt?" You managed to force out, gulping as you reached for her, hands diving beneath the water and grabbing on to her hips. "Is that what I think it is?"

Brittany bobbed her head slowly, but the pieces were clicking together in your mind all by themselves, but she still explained. "I was having heavy periods and so my mom took me to the doctors, and they suggested I go on the pill to help manage them which I said was a good idea because of my age well... because of us," she said, and you swear your heart jumped into your throat. "But it also means that we're like…" She trailed off, head dipping. "Protected, if you know what I mean, if we did wanna do... it."

Yeah, you knew what she meant. You knew why she asked you to bring out her bag and you felt foolish for a split second because you hadn't seen this coming. She obviously had. Or she'd at least planned to tell you about the contraception regardless of the discussion you had a few minutes before, but the thing that stuck out the most was she was telling you that not only did she want to have sex, but she wanted to have sex without protection.

Admittedly, it was technically running through her body, but there was no need for a condom, and you hadn't had sex, so you didn't know the difference, but you knew that was like… a big thing. On top of losing both your virginities which was huge in itself.

Excitement shot through you, quick and electric and you couldn't help it when you began grinning as widely as possible. Your entire body was scorching once again, Brittany using her superpower over you to turn you on like a freaking light switch and you didn't even bother replying, just took the case out of her hand and tossed it on the side before pressing your lips together and spinning her to push her into the wall in the corner of the pool.

It was pretty clear where it was going from there, and you stroked your tongue against hers, her hands shooting to your head to grip at your hair, tilting your skull to dominate the kiss but you were so fucking aware that you were about to lose your virginity that the excitement you previous felt turned into fear. You let her take over though, having heard all the rumours about how painful a girl's first time was and you had to focus on not blowing your load the second you were inside her as you hadn't exactly had time to work on your stamina with anything other than your left hand.

You hadn't even had the opportunity to fool around with her yet and that probably would've been a good idea before that, to perhaps get her used to it or whatever, but then her hands were dropping from your hair and going into the water, working at removing her own bikini bottoms before reaching for your swim shorts and all concern shot out the window.

The breath hitched in your throat, and Brittany ducked her head beneath the water quickly, urging your clothes down your body because you were kind of frozen. Sure, you'd done your research online and you two had discussed it, but you hadn't got like a plan, and you definitely never thought it would happen in Brittany's back garden, in the freaking pool, so you were nervous and caught off guard. It all felt like a freaking dream, but when she stepped forward and pressed your bodies together, your erection getting trapped against your thigh and hers, it all became very real.

Your hands shot to her arms, gripping her biceps and she pulled back to look at you in the eye, and you were fucking glad she had confidence because yours was shot. You thought you'd handle it differently when it came to it, take the time to care about her and make her feel good and make sure she was all warmed up, but there you were, frozen in the corner of the pool, with her pressed against the edge and adjusting her position so she could wrap her legs around your waist beneath the water, her arms bracing her on the ledge.

Blue eyes met yours, and your body moved automatically until you were in a comfortable position, but you were so very aware that you were naked on the bottom half, hidden by the water but so fucking close to where you were aching to be, and okay, Brittany's parents were out but you knew her little sister didn't go to school too far away and that concern tried to leave your mouth.

"Britt, wait–"

"They're not going to be home for at least half an hour," she instantly said, cutting off your words before they could even be verbalised. You knew she could see how nervous you were, your whole body was shaking and the water rippling around you, but you were comfortable. You wanted to do it. The imaginary scenario had been rolling around in your head on replay, being used as spank bank fodder, and you really freaking wanted the real thing, but it was too surreal in that moment.

It'd gone from a swim in her back yard after school to losing your virginities in the damn thing. How else were you supposed to feel?

"We don't have to," Brittany quickly followed up, but again your body reacted before your mind did and you were shaking your head.

"No, no… I want to, I really do," you explained, and you guess the strength of your voice backed up your words as relief flooded through her visibly so. "I just–" You gulped. "Are you sure?"

A smile graced Brittany's face and she bobbed her head again slowly, lifting one hand off the pool to come to your cheek, cupping it. She looked deeply into your eyes and your chest blossomed with affection as all you saw was trust and love, and that's what made all the fear seep away. It was replaced with arousal, flashing through you like lightning and you matched her movement, nodding your head until she closed the gap between you and kissed you, only pausing to whisper a response.

"I've never been surer of anything."

/

A week goes by before you see Brittany again, and it kind of sucks but you fill your time with criticising Kurt's outfits on Facebook as he and Blaine went to the Maldives for their honeymoon and getting on with work. Which, there's a lot of, as apparently Rachel decided to leave the wedding and kiss the concrete after having one too many drinks and that so doesn't help with her innocent reputation that you desperately try to put out there.

She looks like a 12 year old girl half the time so that's the image you try to get everyone to see, innocent and good and charitable, and vomiting on the inside of a car door after eating shit on the sidewalk really didn't help get that across.

Anyway, you manage to sway a few news stations and pay off a couple of paparazzi, and you slam your laptop shut, cricking your neck left and right. It's been one hell of a day, but it's Friday and so you get out from behind your desk, shut up shop and head out through the office, down the elevator and into the lobby. It's only when you're leaving that your phone buzzes in your hand, and you flick it open as you head out the large glass doors, stopping in your tracks when you see a message from Brittany.

Hey, sorry I've not been around much, been a little busy. Can we meet for a drink later? – B

You've been texting daily, but there hasn't been any video calls, and you haven't run into her for work purposes or just because of fate, and so you're relieved when you read it. You could do with seeing her after the week you've had, and so instead of replying to her, you call Mercedes and tell her you're not coming to the bar tonight as you've got other plans. She pushes for a reason, but you were complaining to her the other day about lessening Brittany's workload despite your friend insisting she wasn't asking for much, so maybe avoiding the truth is the way to go and so you do that.

She gives up pretty easily, as she's got some guy round (you can hear him in the background) and you tell her to keep safe and call your assistant if she needs anything as you'll be temporarily occupied and staying away from Rachel as she's pissed you off enough today, and then you return to Brittany's message and send her the address of a bar not that far from you alongside another text.

Say around seven? – S

You don't ask if she's going to come alone, as you're kind of hoping she is and you've calmed down now about the whole Quinn thing, seeing it as reasonable as you Googled yourself and found some hilarious stories that didn't paint you in the best light, but you still want to ask Brittany about it.

Great. See you later – B

You let out a long sigh and head for the sidewalk, hailing a cab and muttering your address before leaning back and staring out the window.

You feel better now.

/

Everything went fast forward from there, and you stole the next breath she tried to take by sucking on her bottom lip, only stopping when she reached between your bodies and for the very first time, wrapped her long fingers around your shaft. You couldn't help the way your hips jerked – you were being touched by someone else for the first freaking time – and a low, guttural moan left your throat, lips faltering against hers.

You couldn't believe it. She began stroking you and it was like freaking heaven because okay, you'd done it to yourself but that was nothing alike. She was twisting her fist, pumping you in a manner that was far too practised considering she was a virgin, and you began rolling your body against hers, trying to convey that she really couldn't do that for too long. You didn't last that long with yourself, let alone testing the waters with your super-hot cheerleading girlfriend, and she giggled against your mouth when she used the arm she was still holding herself up with to lift higher.

But you wanted to get her ready. You wanted to give her what she'd just given you in ten seconds and you nipped on her bottom lip, your hands stroking down her ribs, fingers tickling over the skin as she shuddered into you until you reached between her thighs. You were so cautious, touching her like she was an open flame and you put some space between your heads, wanting to maintain eye contact when you touched her for the first time.

And when you did… You almost died.

Brittany was wet. She was so fucking wet and not because of the water you were in, and your body sizzled until you were sure you could come from watching her face contort with pleasure. You'd seen it when you had teased her in one of your bedrooms over her cheerleading spanks, her lip taken between perfect teeth and a crease between her brows, but she was forcing her eyes to stay open, to continue boring into yours as you circled her clit, earning the most heavenly moans that you wanted to bottle up and save for later.

She was so beautiful. Everything about her mesmerised you and you should've been concerned that you were in plain sight, not even hidden by the pool lounger that had floated away to the other side, but you were way too into it. She was the hottest thing you'd ever seen, and you knew that was a memory you would replay over and over. Not just because it was the first time you'd stepped into second base, but because you were the first one to make her feel like that and she was reacting so well.

You didn't want to get too cocky though. You were a virgin after all.

"San… Oh my God…" She breathed, tilting your foreheads together as you dipped lower, tracing a single digit between her folds and over the wettest part of her. It was a familiar substance, as you'd felt something alike with your own juices, but it was so different and thrilling that you almost passed out when her hips jerked, and you slid inside with just the tip of your finger. You froze, as she did, but she just gyrated and you took it as a sign to push further, until the backs of your knuckles were being coated with her.

You didn't really know what you were doing, so you chose to go off the sounds she was making, and a bumped breath left her throat when you retracted and pushed back inside. Her forehead slipped against yours, but you caught her lips with your own as a silent question, checking in on her wellbeing, and she sensed it, answering it with a slight bob of her head, careful enough that it didn't break the kiss as you slipped a second finger in.

You continued your motions, your brain running wild as you tried to focus on what you were doing, but she sounded like nothing you'd ever heard, small whimpers escaping her lips every time you twisted your fingers and curled, and it was super fucking distracting. It was better than you'd imagined, and her legs began tightening around your waist, trapped arm being restricted, and you would've cared, but that was a sure sign she was about to have an orgasm and you ignored the burning in your forearm to work harder and faster, only being stopped when Brittany clenched down hard until you couldn't move anymore.

It wasn't what you expected, but nothing had been that day and so with slight panic, you reeled back until you could look deeply into her eyes, seeing them hooded in a way you hadn't seen before, and you knew she wasn't coming as her body was rigid. But the look on her face, as turned on as it was, also told you something else and that was confirmed when she spoke for the first time, voice strained in the sexiest way.

"I want you to…" She trailed off, her already red cheeks getting darker, but you knew what she meant. "I don't want to until…"

You were so glad you were best friends, because words weren't necessary as you shared such a deep understanding of each other on so many levels and so you pulled your fingers out of her, enjoying the sound that left her throat way too much and her legs went slack around your waist, one holding stronger than the other. Your hands stroked over her thighs beneath the water, thumbs rubbing circles reassuringly, but she just bit down on her swollen lip, like she was excited and scared.

You knew how she felt; you were exactly the same.

"Okay," you hushed, swallowing against your thickened throat and it wasn't until she grabbed at you again that you were aware of the deep ache in your groin, the need to get off hitting you harder than ever. You'd made out with her until you felt like you were about to explode, but this was nothing like that and you bit down so hard on your own bottom lip that you thought you were going to make yourself bleed.

But she caught on to your need, smirking again in a way that you knew you had already fallen in love with – just like her, but you two hadn't said it yet – and shifted her leg, using the years of building up strength in her arms to balance on one leg as the other tightened around your hips, drawing you so close until she ran your cock through slick heat. You thought you'd found the most heavenly feeling, having touched her for the first time, but you were so wrong, and an embarrassingly loud groan left your mouth as your head dropped to her shoulder.

You really wanted to just slip inside her and see what everyone was talking about when they spoke of how good sex was and what that feeling was like, but that was the first time. It was losing your damn virginity and it's always something to remember for both parties, so you wanted to treasure it and most importantly, not hurt her. You knew you weren't like, average sized, just above, so that wasn't going to make it easier, but everything was too hot. It was like you were having sensory overload as she bumped the tip of your dick against her clit, like she knew what she was doing.

It really felt like she did.

"Fuck," spilled from your mouth when she lowered you down to her entrance, and that was the immediate step before sliding inside so you pulled your head off her shoulder and looked her in the eye. Your hands were still on her thighs, aiding her despite the water also doing so, but you were just clutching at her because you weren't ashamed to admit you were scared. There were so many things to be scared of. There were so many plates you were trying to spin at the same time, and it was only then that you also understood why losing the big V was such a big deal.

It was giving the person you were sleeping with a part that no-one else would ever get. It was a vulnerability that no-one else would ever possess over you and that fucking terrified you.

But you knew as long as it was Brittany being that person, you were good. You would be okay.

Without any spoken words, and with your eyes locked onto hers, you took the reins and tilted your hips, her hand shooting out from the water to grab at your neck as you slid into her for the first time. Hot, tight resistance clamped around you, and your mouth dropped open at the suction that encompassed you because you'd never felt anything like it. It was warm, and wet, and you couldn't stop your eyes from rolling into the back of your head as you pushed a few inches inside of her until nails dug into the skin of your neck.

All your body wanted to do was move more, but your brain kicked in and you nudged her head up from where it had dropped, her face revealing to show you it was screwed up and fear joined in with the emotions spiralling through your body. You thought you were hurting her.

"A-are you okay?" You managed to get out, keeping your hips as still as possible even though you thought you were about to come purely off being inside her for the first time.

Brittany clenched jaw, face relaxing after a few seconds and she nodded slowly, exhaling quietly as her lips popped open. "Y-yeah," she stuttered, but you knew her well enough to know she was uncomfortable. You weren't surprised, but you didn't know what to do. "It's okay," she got out quickly, blue eyes meeting yours and she continued nodding. "K-keep…"

You didn't need to hear the rest of the sentence, and you obliged, giving into the urge burning through your body as you pushed further, then back out, then back in a little more that time, the heat covering your cock further and impressively, Brittany took you until you couldn't go any further after a few repetitions of the movement. Her nails were still digging into your neck, but in the most pleasurable way and you kept your eyes trained on her face, trying to gauge if she were still okay with this as you knew if you had to stop, that was the moment you would have to, or you wouldn't be able to at all.

But then her mouth crashed against yours, and the leg wrapped around your waist tightened, a silent sign that she wanted more, and you pulled out, the pleasure surging through your body like nothing ever before. You literally had never felt so good, the sparks erupting low in your spine and silky friction completely covered you, and then you knew why everyone was so mad about sex. It was without doubt one of the best feelings you'd ever had, and your mouth popped open, breaths short and rapid as you began to move inside of her, taking in her face.

She was moaning lowly, and the nails in your neck moved to scrape against your shoulder blades and her face twisted every time you bumped inside of her, finding a spot that made the moan turn into a small whimper. You were so fucking hot for her, and your fingers dug into her thighs to support her as you began putting a little more force behind every thrust, careful that you weren't hurting her but the sounds you were hearing were telling you that whatever you were doing was good.

So you just kept doing it.

Your lips found her pulse point, choosing to suck as you thought of ways to distract her just in case she was uncomfortable, and she said your name quietly into your ear until you reeled back, her mouth finding yours instantly. You didn't know how long you'd be able to be inside her for, as there was this pressure building in your spine that you were way too familiar with thanks to your left hand, so you adjusted your grip until you could slide between you, coming in contact with your shaft as it slid in and out of her, gasping when you found her clit and she clenched around you.

You'd seen guys do this to girls in pornos to make them come, and you knew that you needed her to come first as you were already rapidly approaching oblivion to the point where you could feel it behind your eyelids every time they fluttered shut. You could already see the stars and you really didn't want to be a two minute wonder, but it was your first time so two minutes seemed like a stretch, and you needed her there with you.

"Ugh, Santana," Brittany whined as you continued rubbing circles on her clit, her arms making their way back around your neck as your lips broke, the words painting on your own. "Fuck."

The muscles around your cock were massaging you, wrapping you up in warmth and hot suction and you couldn't explain how incredible it felt as your girlfriend got closer and closer. You continued your ministrations, somehow managing to find a rhythm between thrusts and circles, the water splashing around you and up into your hair, but you really didn't care. All you cared about was the words leaving her mouth, how she looked like she was in complete ecstasy – at least that's what you thought, but your faces were so close you couldn't see anything but tightly squeezed eyes – but you wanted the eye contact.

So you nudged her, panting heavily and feeling the heat creep up your spine, but you persevered. You put everything you had into not spilling into her and shifted your feet, momentarily throwing your tempo off course, your fingers slipping from her clit, but you swiftly returned both of them back to normal as you adjusted your position, scooping her other leg up so they were wrapped around you again. The water was slamming against your back as you thrusted into her, and Brittany threw her head back at one particular motion, her arms dropping from your neck and hands shooting out to grasp your biceps before she peered back down at you.

"Oh, San-oh-OH," she half screeched, the walls around your member clamping down impossibly tight.

And you knew you were in deep trouble.

You knew you'd only last about thirty seconds or so in that moment, with her eyes locking deeply with yours, especially when the visual contact apparently was all she needed to tip over the edge and you watched in awe as her orgasm punched through her, causing her to choke on the air like there wasn't enough oxygen. You took a mental picture, glad for the quick decision making because she was coming, and coming hard and then you were slamming your eyes shut as you pounded into her like it wasn't your first time, pressing your bodies close so the thrusts were deep and drawn out, and you were preparing for the inevitable.

But not before she was kissing you. Her tongue slid into your mouth, and that was all you needed to shove you into an orgasmic paradise, and you stopped trying to hold back on the pressure, breaking the kiss to suck in any oxygen, to fill your lungs as sparks shot off inside of you but it didn't work. Your fingertips pressed deeply into Brittany's thighs, your eyes bulging open at the same time your mouth dropped, and her forehead tipped against yours as the tempo you'd built completely fell off rhythm, and you didn't even try to continue it, instead giving into the deep burn between your thighs and released into her, holding deep inside, and feeling your juices spill out around both of you.

Apparently, the way you were buried inside of her, the sucker punch to the gut but in the best way possible was way too overwhelming and it pushed her into her second orgasm, which only elongated the time you came but it was magical. Everything about that moment felt like a dream and you gasped sharply, shuddering out the exhale slowly as she clamped down around you one more time, moaning loudly to the point where you should've been concerned that the neighbours could hear, but again, you didn't care.

You couldn't believe it, you not only made her come once, but twice, and you were almost so enamoured by that, that you forgot how significant the moment was, but Brittany didn't.

Fingers stroked over the curve of your brow, both your chests rapidly heaving as you basked in the electricity sparking around you still, and you were exhausted but in the most wonderful way possible. You felt weightless, like a piece of paper floating through the wind, and you released your hands slowly, not wanting to pull out of her even though you could already feel yourself softening but you didn't want the moment to end.

You wanted to stay there, staring into each other's eyes, soft smiles tugging at the corners of both your lips forever, because you think you already knew, but you had fallen madly in love with the girl. It was undeniable and you began laughing quietly as the sparks began to slowly fade, the fatigue feeling heavier inside as long legs went slack around your waist, lingering around mid-thigh and still holding on.

"God," Brittany sighed, sounding completely exhausted and she dropped her head to your shoulder, rolling it back and forth and giggling quietly, like you were.

Your fingertips danced up her thighs, over her ribs until you scooped behind her, pulling her into a hug. "I know," you agreed, even though she hadn't said anything, but you two didn't need words to communicate.

And then you fell into a comfortable silence, just swaying in the water back and forth until the sound of a car pulling into the driveway broke you apart.

(You did it again that night.)

(And then so many more times after that, that you lost count.)

/

You head to the bar, dressed up a little nicer than usual.

You're into fashion, and as Quinn so kindly pointed out most of the time you're around Rachel as you're her publicist, so it makes sense for paparazzi to stalk you and take a few pictures, but you know it's for other reasons too. You've kind of missed Brittany. Having her back these past six weeks or so has been incredible, and you feel like you're becoming a nicer person because she's around.

Not to like, most people, but to your friends as you aren't as snappy, but that also could be because you're no longer getting drunk at a club and fucking a nameless blonde into the early hours of the morning and waking up with a raging hangover. You're snappy as hell when you're suffering the aftereffects of tequila and poor decision making.

(And so what if you like to look good when Brittany's around? It gives your ego a stroke when she checks you out.)

Anyway, you turn the corner and run into someone, immediately stepping back as there's a stranger pressed up against you, and blink until you see the person, awaiting an apology. But the recognition hits, and you tilt your head back to peer up at the sign above your head – yup, this is the right bar – and frown, because you know this person as you glance back down to her, frowning deeply with confusion.

"Kitty?"

Okay, you don't know know her, but you know her through association and considering you're meeting Brittany inside the bar, this is a strange coincidence.

"Santana?" Kitty chirps, adjusting the strap of her bag over her shoulder. She smiles, but it's forced as it doesn't reach her eyes, but you guess she doesn't know you. She probably just came along with Brittany to make sure it wasn't a dive bar or something. Although she does look like she's wary about running into you like she shouldn't have. "Hey, uh… I was just leaving," she bobs her head like she's convincing herself. "Brittany's inside waiting for you," she adds quickly, jutting her thumb over her shoulder but you instantly become suspicious.

But you shake it off as you've already had a run in with Quinn, so you don't need to add Kitty on to the list of people you don't get along with in Brittany's life as you're still trying to solidify that position and it's been kind of weird over the past week. You think you two are okay, but you've also got this feeling deep in your stomach that something's wrong, but logic dictates that it's near impossible that you're to blame for it.

You've talked to her, but not in the same capacity as before, so you're convincing yourself it's all good and maybe Brittany just needs a shoulder to lean on, which is why she text you to meet up.

(Although you are aware Kitty being here is proving that at least slightly wrong.)

(Brittany could lean on her shoulder as she's supposedly her best friend, but whatever.)

(Maybe Brittany feels more comfortable with you.)

"Thanks," you reply, a light-tipped smile on your face. "See you around."

Kitty flashes you a not-really-there smile and heads off, and the only things you've heard about that girl is that she's kind of a bitch, but you don't care either way as you could out bitch her any day.

It's weird, but you're not here to think about that and so instead you breeze inside, taking your jacket off as it's kind of warm in here and take a second to scan the area. It's not very busy, but you like this place as it's dark and has jazz music playing in the background all the time, and you know the owner, so he lets you smoke cigars in the back room when there's few customers.

You find Brittany in the back corner, sat in your usual booth and you smile to yourself, wondering if she just randomly chose it or maybe the bartender told her that's your spot if she asked if you were here yet, but you shake it off and head over, flagging down the bartender with two fingers as a signal for your usual as you do so.

Your hand reaches out for the back of her seat as she's facing the other way, and you duck down to whisper into her ear, grinning as she jolts a little. "Hey."

"Crap," Brittany hisses quietly, almost knocking the glass of water out her hand and you frown at the chosen beverage, but Brittany's always been a little odd. She turns to face you, smiling but you can see how it doesn't reach her eyes and the grin drops from your face as you slide into the booth opposite. She's always beautiful, but she looks paler than usual and the happiness you felt for seeing her rapidly twists into deep concern.

She kind of looks like she's been crying.

She also looks like she did a week ago, at the AnderHummel wedding, but it's more worn in now like she's felt it daily ever since.

"Are you okay?" Leaves your mouth before you can stop it, your hand reaching over to settle over the back of hers, gripping the glass.

Brittany drops her chin to her chest, eyes going to the table and your chest tightens. You really don't like way she's acting right now. "Yeah, I'm fine," she gets out, clearing her throat and then looks back up to you, trying way too hard to smile as her hand adjusts and grasps back at yours. "You okay?"

You slowly bob your head, but you don't care how you are right now. "I'm fine," you say a little too quickly, shaking your head and shifting forward so you're basically leant over the table. "What's wrong? Has something happened? Did someone die?"

"No, no," she laughs, but there's something you doubt in the sound as you used to know every laugh, and that one was way too close to her fake one for you not to doubt it. "Nobody died," she confirms, and you exhale heavily, but it doesn't reduce the weight on your chest. If anything, it presses down harder as that'd make you feel better as that means it's not to do with you, or like something you've done, and makes your blood move faster around your body until your heart is pounding in your ears. "I just wanted to see you."

It's not like you think she's lying, your freaking stomach just flipped three times hearing that, but there's something you're not buying as your eyes search her face. There's a light cover of make-up on her face, but the longer you observe her, the more you start to think she's only wearing it to try and cover up an emotion that's affected her face. As far as you know, the only emotion that would do that is sadness, like she's been crying, and her cheeks are super red and fuck… You're really not liking this.

But you know the ball is in Brittany's court as she's the one that asked you to meet up, and you also know from years of friendship that pushing her when she's down or whatever usually makes her retract even further. Sometimes she's an open book, but when shit gets really bad, she just curls up and hides away and you can't blame her for doing the same after spending so many years apart. It's not like she'd just slip back into the teenage familiarity you shared, which is disheartening, but you can take it.

You've got to work at the friendship; it's not just something you can pick up on where you left off. For more than one reason.

So with that thought, you decide to ask her about Quinn. You've wanted to since her friend came up to you at Kurt and Blaine's wedding and you can't deny that it's been replaying over and over in your mind (alongside other things) in the week you've been apart.

"Your friend Quinn is... kind of a bitch," you begin, throwing in a light chuckle to try and seem like you are trying to like her despite you literally just calling her a bitch.

Blue eyes snap to you, Brittany's breath hitching in her throat, and she pulls a face you instantly dislike. "What?"

Still, you repeat it. "Quinn," you say and shift in your seat as the bartender comes over, sliding your drink into your hand. You take a moment to sip it, humming at the warmth that settles in your stomach and look back to the blonde who's still giving you the same expression. You think she's scared, and shocked, but it's more shocking to find out that her so called 'best friend' didn't tell her about your little chat. "She cornered me at the bar at the wedding and Britt," you pause to lean over, half-expecting Brittany to flinch when you reach over to her hand again but you're trying to make light of this situation because she's being really fucking odd. "You gotta pick better friends because I spent three minutes in her company and even I can tell she's a conniving bitch."

Brittany doesn't laugh, which shocks you more than anything but ends your own chuckle quickly and she sucks in a deep breath, dropping her hand away from the table and simultaneously away from you, almost like she's relieved by your explanation but you don't get it. Why would telling her that her choice of friends is poor, be a relief? And why is she looking so damn sad and making a point not to meet your eye?

You really don't fucking like this, and the fear is intensifying as you pull your own hand back, feeling entirely rejected. You thought you two were close enough to touch considering you've slept together like, three times now but maybe not and you've just insulted her best friend. You feel like a total ass, so maybe you should apologise for that, and it'll make her tell you what's going on inside her head; you can almost hear the cogs turning rapidly from the other side of the table.

"Sorry," you try, not sure if you've just offended Brittany instead of making a joke. You lift a shoulder and scrunch your face up, letting the guilt show. You only feel guilty because you think you've upset her, not because you think Quinn's a bitch. That still stands but you can keep it to yourself next time and you've only met her once, so maybe that was a one off. "I was just kidding… She isn't that bad."

Brittany sucks her lips in, biting down on the bottom one when she releases a few seconds later and she glances up to meet your eyes. Each of hers dart between each of yours, searching for a beat too long and you start to replay every conversation you've had recently, trying to find something that you've done wrong, but you come up with nothing. In the past week you've barely spoken to her, just a few texts here and there, and you start to think that maybe that's the issue, but you don't know why it would be.

Yeah, okay, you've been bothered by it, as you just got her back so you don't want her to go, but it's not like you can say that. That type of thing comes with certain connotations that just aren't true.

"It's fine," she finally replies, a little breathless like she was holding it, so you instinctively lean forward again, elbows coming up to rest on the table as you stare at her with deep concern. "What did Quinn say to you?"

That throws you off a little, your eyes darting around the room, but you know you've got to answer her if you want to get any answers. You do want to know why Quinn was basically digging at you and insinuating you were going to treat Brittany like shit. Even Mercedes had that little talk with you and you're so over everyone harbouring this deep care for Brittany built off the fear that you'll be the one putting her in harm's way. They don't know your relationship, and at one point in your life, you would've taken a bullet for the girl and you're fairly sure you would still, even now.

But again, it's not like you can say that, so you're honest instead, replying with a casual shrug. "Nothing bad… Just sort of…" You pause for a second, squinting at her whilst trying to find the right words without setting alarm bells off in Brittany's head. You think she's on the edge of freaking out and you still don't know why. "Threatened me, but it was weak, so I wasn't exactly intimidated."

"She threatened you?"

You bob your head slowly, studying her. Her hands are now on top of the table, nails picking at each other in a way that's all too familiar – she used to do that when she was nervous – and it only makes your own fear grow. You can feel the sparks beneath your skin, the ends of your nerves coming alive because you may not know what's wrong, but you know something is, and you starting to believe it's very much to do with you which is just making you panic more.

But you're a grown ass woman now and you can talk about your feelings, unlike your teenage self, and so you've got to clear the air. Especially seeing as you two are sort of friends with benefits now… Or friends with occasional benefits.

"Britt, I don't know what you told her about me, but–"

"I didn't," she cuts off, not even letting you finish your sentence and it's so unlike Brittany that you jerk your head back. "She just Googled you."

It runs close to the version Quinn gave you, so you have no reason not to believe it but she's being so fucking weird that your heart's picking up its beat inside your chest and doubt is flying around inside your skull anyway.

"Okay, well, even if she Googled me," you repeat and tilt your head to the side, not wanting to insult her but also wanting to know why Quinn would threaten you to the point of 'ending you' as she so eloquently put it. "She seemed to hold some strong feelings towards me and think I'm going to hurt you or whatever," you wave your hand, but you can feel yourself rambling. "But we both know it's not like that because we talked and I just–"

"Santana."

Your mouth snaps shut before the sentence can finish, and the blonde shifts forward, this time being the one to reach over and grab your hand with both of hers, holding just the one between and stroking her thumbs over your knuckles. That was kind of rude, but Brittany isn't rude so that's like, the third thing that's struck you as strange since you fucking got here and it's not making you feel any more comfortable. It must show, because she inhales deeply, shuffling forward in her seat and staring you deeply in the eye, leaning over so it's almost like you're about to share a stage secret.

"You didn't do anything," she reassures, but it doesn't have the desired effect as she gulps loudly before speaking again. "She's just… protective over me and I didn't know she was going to corner you."

"Protective?" You squeak, neck going back as far as it can. If anything, that just makes it make less sense. "Why would she need to be protective over you when it comes to me? I'm not going to hurt you and you wouldn't hurt me… You do know that, right?"

Brittany doesn't answer immediately, just stares directly into your eyes and you feel like you can see a thousand things running through her mind, with the indecision of which one to choose and that's totally unsettling. You'd never hurt her, and you thought she knew that, but the silence is saying different. You've fallen for this before though… Coming to your own conclusions before actually getting clarity and you're good at handling her when she's like this, all withdrawn and quiet, unable to say what she really wants to.

Back when she used to do shit like this when you were teenagers, like when you two were in the pool the first time you had sex, you just calmed her even though you were freaking the fuck out and you decide to use that tactic here. Pushing her won't do any good, you're starting to get that panicky sweat beneath your boobs and you're sure your palm is clammy as hell from her clutching it and the nerves thrumming through your body, but you need to make sure she's okay because you know she isn't.

This isn't about you, you're sure of it as you ran into Kitty who obviously came here with her, and because she's been weirdly distant, and you don't get why.

But when you hear the next two words, you get your answer.

"I'm pregnant."

All you can do is stare.

/

How are we feeling now?