Title: Above The Moon
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 10.6k
Summary: She really is here. Brittany is here, and you think over the past 10 years without her, trying to figure out how destiny didn't bring you back together sooner, but you guess it just wasn't the right time.
Notes: Damn… Your response was awesome on the last update! I love the honesty, and I hope I don't disappoint. These few chapters have been written in advance so let's see how you feel about the next day!
/
In the morning, you head down to the kitchen first, hoping to grab a cup of coffee before anyone else wakes up.
Obviously, because you wanted alone time and left Mona in your bedroom, you don't get to be as you find Kurt sitting at the kitchen counter, a packet of painkillers on the left and a large, iced coffee sat in front of him.
There's half a slice of toast on a plate too, and when you move into the kitchen and closer to him, you see the green tinge to his skin and grin. Somehow you're not that hungover, just need a coffee and you'll be good to go, and due to him being easily irritable in this mood, you decide to annoy him, poking him in the ribs before darting away, narrowly missing the arm he slings out as an immediate response.
"Oh, screw you, Satan," he groans as you move to the opposite counter and smirk at him, and his arm goes back to resting on the counter, head in hands.
"You know, Blaine's a lucky guy to wake up to such perfection every morning," you quip, and he snarls at you. His hair is all over the place, he has large black circles beneath his eyes, and he looks like he's about to vomit everywhere which you're not dealing with. That's a husband duty. "Where is the lesbian version of Bob Reynolds anyway?"
Kurt wrinkles his nose up at you, ducking his head to sip on the straw in his iced coffee, clearly not appreciating the nickname. "Throwing up in the bathroom upstairs," he mumbles, and you laugh lightly, turning around to flick on the coffee pot, feeling his eyes on you. "How come you're not hanging?"
You throw him a look over your shoulder. "Some of us don't drink like frat boys."
Kurt hums a noise of acknowledgement, but it also contains doubt, but you don't need him to bring up the awkwardness of Mona arriving last night as you're desperately trying to ignore it. If you can be cool, then Brittany will be cool and maybe no-one will talk about how close you two were last night and how you definitely weren't like that in front of your new girl. That's not something you'd like to explain, but you kind of think your friends will be on your side and not judge the hell out of you and instead help instead.
"Sure it's got nothing to do with Mona turning up?" He asks. "That kind of thing tends to have the sobering effect."
You roll your eyes and huff loudly, preparing a few cups of coffee in case everyone comes down at the same time. "Why would it have the sobering effect?" You challenge and turn side on, so you can look at him as you pour out the beverages.
"Oh, I don't know," Kurt starts and folds his arms, leaning them on the counter as he cocks his head to the side, smirking at you now. His tone is condescending and airy, like he's pretending he doesn't already have a list of reasons, but you don't want to hear them. "Perhaps because you and Brittany were all over each other before Mona came along and then you barely even looked at each other nor touched after."
You think that silence is the way to go here, as it suggests that you're not bothered even though that's definitely why you're not that hungover and you're kind of freaking out that he knows that. After getting back to your room and sleeping with Mona, your head was no longer swimming with alcohol and that's why you're bouncy as hell this morning, plus sex always makes you a little lighter but again, if you think about that too much you'll overthink it and just no.
You're here to enjoy the weekend, even if it seems a little difficult to do so now but you're sure it'll work out.
"I was a little shell shocked that Mona came at all… It was a nice surprise though."
"A nice surprise?" Kurt repeats, a pitch higher than you said it. "Okay, Grandma," he sips at his coffee and smirks at you. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."
You roll your eyes again and put the coffee pot back in place, folding your arms to look at him. "Is it not supposed to be awkward when you're ex-girlfriend who's also the mother of your unborn child meets your new girl in a situation you weren't prepared for?" You fire at him, not wanting to beat around the bush here. "How would you react if Blaine had to meet one of your exes? Or perhaps one of the hundreds of guys you cheated on him with?"
"I never cheated on him," Kurt snipes back but that's so not the point and you just grin when he winces. At least the heat is off you. "I probably would've done better than you did, though… You choked like a little bitch."
Your face twists up with disgust and you flip him the bird before grabbing two cups and heading back out the kitchen, pausing at the bottom of the stairs to look at him. You didn't choke, but you were drunk, thinking about kissing Brittany after outrageously flirting with her and then your new girl that hasn't met any of your friends turned up and crashed the party. Sure, it is nice and you're enjoying her being here, but it's just freaking weird, and you don't know how Brittany's taken it as she hasn't come down yet.
And you know Kurt, and due to your teasing this morning, he's probably going to seek revenge, but you don't want that at the expense of either Mona or Brittany.
"Don't be a dick in front of either of them," you hiss, and Kurt waves his hand at you before you head upstairs.
/
It was a normal Saturday night, and you and Brittany were curled up watching a horror film on the tv when the lights went out, and the house went dark.
Because you were teenage girls and halfway through a slasher, so you were already on the edge of your seat, you screamed and clutched at each other for good few minutes, but you were the first one to react and got your phone out, putting the light on and shining it around the room. It was dead silent, nothing moving, and you peered over the side of the couch and out the window, finding that the house opposite was dark too.
"What's going on?" Brittany whispered, face buried into your neck, but you giggled and pulled back, stroking your spare hand over her hair.
"I think the power's gone out," you answered and dropped a kiss to blonde locks before wiggling out from beneath her, heading over to the window and staring up and down the street.
Yup, there was no power anywhere, and you hadn't exactly planned to do anything exciting with your night as your parents were out of town and gave you house-sitting duty, but it still put a stint in the whole movie night idea and technology was necessary to entertain teenagers.
You let out a long sigh and turned around, finding Brittany with her own phone light on now, but she was furiously typing away at the screen and you frowned, making your way back over to her and taking a seat on the sofa again. Your eyes took in the large font on the screen spelling out Google and seconds later, the webpage changed to Twitter and Brittany was scanning over it quickly before looking up to you.
"Someone tweeted that a car hit a power station nearby," she explained, and you screwed your face up.
"That sounds bad," you winced, and Brittany locked her phone, dropping it to her lap to stare at you with a pout.
"Yeah," she breathed and looked around the room, which you could barely see due to the darkness but you both had phone lights on so that helped a little. "Do you have candles anywhere? It's kind of dark in here."
It was a good idea, and you hadn't got to that yet as you couldn't remember the last time you used candles as lights, but you nodded and climbed to your feet, heading into the den to grab a few boxes stored beneath the desk. You rummaged through until you found a handful of tealights and some candlesticks, bringing them back out and Brittany lit them, placing them out until there was a dark glow illuminating the room and then you both settled down, staring at the black television that you couldn't turn on.
And you tried to think of other things to do, as you both needed your phone's for communication and seeing as charging them was no longer available, it's not like you could continue watching the movie on there, so you looked to Brittany, but she was grinning at you with something in her eye.
"What?" You asked, confused. It was too dark to see if there was like, something on your face, but she was staring at you like there was.
"Just thinking about what we could do now seeing as the power's out," she shrugged but the way she said it made the breath hitch in your throat, your breathing suddenly picking up as you noticed hers was already doing it.
"Yeah?"
Brittany nodded slowly and shuffled over on the couch until she was pressed to your side, the air suddenly getting hotter around you. You gulped, as you two had finally had sex and it'd been a few weeks since, but you were still new to the whole thing and were beginning to recognise the signs of when she wanted you, of when she needed you. Those signs were looking at you then and there, with a smirk on Brittany's lips, her eyes dark as they shifted from doe to devil, and she threw a leg over you lap, straddling you and you had to tilt your head back to look up at her.
She didn't explain right away though, instead let her hands fall to your shoulders, her head dip down until her lips were ghosting over yours. "Have you ever heard of a game called Too Hot?"
No, you hadn't, but you were about to.
/
You spend the afternoon down at the beach with everyone.
It's sunny, so you take full advantage and realise that another thing about Kurt's offer to stay in a beach house that turned out to be bullshit is that the beach isn't actually next to the house.
It's down a few overgrown alleys and a few blocks away, and everyone bitches out at him until an hour after you've all laid down towels, tanned and taken a dip in the sea. It's unseasonably warm, and Mona looks really good in a bikini, so you're cool with it, plus Brittany doesn't seem to be acting weirdly. However she is staying out the water, wearing a sundress but you know she probably feels weird around Mona now so she's not behaving normally and is kind of quiet.
Brittany did have a point; you do have a type and Mona is smoking hot and eerily close to Brittany in a lot of ways physically, so you think that's making her self-conscious, even if it's ridiculous.
(No-one could even come close to Brittany as her name is the definition of perfection in the dictionary.)
Those ways are ways you're trying not to think of, as you start comparing them and more, like when Mona laughs and how it doesn't make your insides go funny in the way it does when Brittany laughs, and that type of thing will be dangerous. You're just trying to enjoy yourself and you all have an easy, fun-filled day, bonding and doing all the things you won't be able to do when the little one comes along.
Anyway, Kurt says he's going to prepare a barbecue back at home on the decking for dinner and goes back with Blaine to the house. Brittany and Rachel head off together shortly after with a small, whispered goodbye and a lingering stare from Brittany, leaving you with Mercedes and Mona, and you take a stroll down the beach as your friend gets to know your new girl to distract yourself from wondering why blue eyes were on you for so long.
You hold Mona's hand, and Mercedes eyes you suspiciously when the other girl can't see but you don't know what it means and honestly, you don't want to. Ever since Mona's got here you've been on edge and acting a little weird, but it's just because your ex is here and like Kurt so kindly pointed out, you have stopped touching and talking to Brittany in the way you did before your girl got here which makes you think you shouldn't have been doing it.
If you can't do behave like you were with Brittany before Mona got there, then you really need to take a long look at yourself before judging anyone else as that means you should probably change it.
But you don't need to right now, or even think about it, and you won't let yourself, so you cuddle up to Mona a little more, watch the sunset with Mercedes too which kind of ruins the romance vibe but you're cool with it as it's a little awkward anyway, and then head back to the cabin. The barbecue is already lit, several camping chairs set up in a circle on the decking in front with a firepit in the middle, and it's rustic – just like the rest of the place – but this part you can actually enjoy.
You go up to your room, have a shower with Mona and then giggle as you get ready, slapping her ass on the way out once you've changed. You head down the stairs, with Mona throwing you looks over your shoulder as she got naked and you didn't take advantage, and you're feeling good about you two. She's cute and it's been awkward – mostly because of your own behaviour – but no-one else seems to giving you looks like Mercedes was on the beach, so you're allowing yourself to enjoy it as Mona doesn't seem to be picking up on it either.
Or picking up on how many times Brittany's looked at you today. It's been quite a lot, and it's weird because you haven't actually spoken to her alone. Not since Mona walked in when you thought about kissing your ex.
Anyway, you and Mona take a chair each when you get outside, and smile warmly at Brittany, Rachel and Kurt who are already here. Mercedes and Blaine have gone off to grab some more liquor as you all drained it, and you offer to help but Kurt shakes his head and throws his head back laughing, twisting around to reveal his apron with the words BBQ-UEEN embossed in large print on the front of it.
"Jesus Christ," you scoff and scrunch your face up. "How do you make grilling gay?"
Kurt throws you a scowl. "I'll have to you know my grilling skills are the straightest thing about me," he grins, and you roll your eyes, laughing, hearing Brittany join in with the giggle which makes your eyes slide to her but the second she meets them, the smile on her face falters and you frown.
"I actually really like your vegan burgers," Rachel chimes in, twirling into the circle and taking a seat next to Mona, hand setting over the back of it to grab her attention. "Have you ever thought about going vegan, Mona?"
Mona's pulled into a conversation with the troll about the best chickpea replacements for meat and how animals are our friends not food, and you take the opportunity to cock your head to the side and look at Brittany. She's still looking at you, but there's something sad behind her eyes and you try a smile, but she just pinches her cheek up at the side and shrugs at you, even though you didn't ask a question. At least not verbally.
And you're about to get up, scoot over to her and ask why she's being odd and have your first proper conversation of the day when Mercedes voice booms in.
"We got the tequila!" She sings and Blaine wanders in behind her, grasping two large brown bags that clink with every step, and it pulls focus away from Brittany as Mercedes asks you to help get some glasses and you do so.
You forget about asking Brittany why she was looking at you like that.
/
So, apparently Brittany had heard from her Cheerio friends about the game Too Hot.
Her friends had played it a couple times with some of their boyfriends, and you knew instantly what it was as she began to explain, as there had been rumours flooding the hallway that everyone knew about thanks to that game. It was made for teenagers to tease each other until they were literally about to explode under the pretence of a game and competition.
So, obviously as you were a horny teenager, so was Brittany, you had the best sex and had the house for the night to yourselves, you took full advantage of the offer. You almost got too hot prior to even starting the damn thing, as you interrupted your girlfriend explaining the rules by shoving your tongue down her throat and falling off the couch as you made out for long, hot moments, but you eventually pulled yourself away as you were kind of really excited to play it.
Brittany ran to the kitchen and came back with whipped cream, a glass of ice cubes and some rags, which you didn't know those were for, but you were entirely distracted by the other two items that your brain sort of glitched out. She smirked at you and asked you to take your top off and lay on the table, and you were already turned on from making out with her, so the fact she was telling you what to do just made you whimper and do it as quickly as physically possible.
There you were, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling as you felt Brittany move around you, adjusting some of the candles so the scene was set. It made the room get hot and heavy, and you knew exactly where it was going but you wanted to go slow. You thought she felt the same as she giggled darkly, watching you get impatient as you propped yourself up on your elbows and peered at her down by your feet, catching your eye and holding it.
You were about to ask her what she was doing, but then she shook her head slightly, pressed her finger to her lips and you almost freaking died right then and there, your thighs pinching together tightly. Then she reached down, keeping the eye contact as her other hand curled around the hem of her shirt, and she pulled it over her head, throwing it down on to the sofa where you started the game earlier in one swift motion.
And you didn't know what to do. You two had spent the past few weeks figuring out each other's bodies, and with that came confidence but then you felt weak and unexperienced in that moment like you were losing your virginity all over again, and Brittany was showing a dominance that made you ache with need to get off and you were totally willing.
So you clamped your mouth shut, staring at her as she reached into the glass of ice cubes, fishing one out and popping it in between perfect lips. You gulped, your hands tightening into fists against your ribs, but you couldn't take your eyes off her. You wanted nothing more than to move, to take control but you were under her spell. She was drawing you in, rendering you completely incapable of doing anything but gawk, jaw dropping open as she came towards you, kneeling down on the rug and still holding your eye as she bent down over your body.
And again, you swear you could've died.
You choked as it touched you, the too cold ice on your too hot skin and you hissed, but it set your body on fire. It was such a contrasting feeling, and you just stared at Brittany's profile, noting the way her lip twitched into a deeper smirk, clearly hearing, and feeling you reacting. You'd never known anything so hot, and you knew that was the point of the game, but this was the first round and then you had a thousand ideas of what you were going to do to her with the whipped cream she brought in.
"Britt," you gasped as she dragged the ice cube up the dip of your abs, bumping the bottom of your bra and your muscles tensed, entire body going rigid as she followed the path she just came, swallowing the cube between her lips until it disappeared when she reached the waistband of your jeans. Then they pressed down, her lips now cold against your skin and all you could think about was how it would feel with them wrapped around something else and your arms gave out, until you were pressed back down on the coffee table, staring at the ceiling once more.
Brittany just giggled though, dropping the ice cube back to your skin and running it along the line between your hipbones, and her warm hand slid up your jean covered leg, the other making a path up your ribs as she continued teasing you, stroking her fingers up to the apex of your thighs and tracing the tip dangerously close to where you wanted it most. You knew you were rock hard already, and probably showing, but you didn't care.
"Oh my god," you whispered, shaking your head and you knew that was your breaking point.
Everything was starting to spin around you, your veins pulsing with the speed the blood was shooting around them, and you felt like you were on fucking fire. Your lungs were burning, your throat the same and you could barely hear anything as all senses bar touch had just faded away. You could feel everything she was doing, every part of her that was touching you, stroking you, making you shiver with anticipation but that was the whole point of the game.
To make you too hot.
Brittany had been doing it for under a minute, and yet you were about to explode with the need to touch her, to take her right then and there, and it would mean losing but fuck it. One of you was always going to lose, and you were sure you'd adjust to being a loser if you still got a prize at the end.
"Too hot," you blurted, and within seconds, Brittany reeled back, the ice leaving your skin and you brought your shaky hand up to your forehead, pressing it palm down as you tried to catch your breath.
You were freaking exhausted, and it was embarrassing that you were so close to fucking coming in your pants like a 13 year old virgin but you really didn't care. You just needed to move, to do something to her because you were totally overwhelmed, and the only reason you managed to come out of it was because Brittany was right there, face hovering over yours and you swiftly came back to reality as she bent down, pressing her lips to yours and transferring the smaller version of the ice cube into your mouth.
Apparently the temperature of your skin had melted it.
"I'm so glad you called it before I did," Brittany panted, pulling her face back as her one of her hands drifted across the wetness on your stomach, thumb stroking it away whilst the other came up to play with your hair, stroking it away from your then sweating face.
You just laughed breathlessly, shaking your head and grabbed the back of hers before pulling her down to kiss her for a long moment, only reeling back to look her in the eye once more as you whispered, "Don't get too happy just yet… It's my turn," with a grin.
Brittany was the one to melt that time.
/
After dinner, which was surprisingly well grilled by Kurt, Mona asks if you want to go down to the beach for a moonlight walk.
You agree, as Mercedes kind of killed the buzz earlier by joining you on the earlier one, and you both head off, ignoring the specific pair of blue eyes that watch you the entire time as you still haven't spoken to Brittany, and she's been quiet.
Mona's cute and tells you stories about her childhood and family vacations to the beach and you listen and laugh when she makes jokes. You take the time by yourselves to evaluate whatever's going on between you, and as much as you're thinking she's actually pretty cool, not like the rest of the girls, there's something missing.
It's a thing that's always been missing with every girl you date, even if you haven't exactly had many and you don't want to think about what it is because you think you've always known. Ever since your first ever relationship, there was that chemistry, that zap missing. It's like a spark, and you've had connections with other people before but never quite like the one you had with Brittany and that's a hard pill to swallow.
You don't want to think you won't ever find it with anyone else, as that'd mean Brittany's the only one you'd ever feel content with, but you also know that the love you two had when you were younger was a dumb love. It was something that fairytales are made of, even through the worst of times and so you can't compare what you could have with what you did, or you'll just end up single forever, even if you don't mind that right now.
And you're also completely different people now. You've both evolved and you're not the 16 year old versions of yourselves.
Not anymore.
Anyway, you head back to the decking, to find only Rachel there and frown as everyone else has disappeared, including Brittany which you can't help but feel disappointed at, but it's not like you can show it. But it's weird as you and Mona have only been gone an hour or so, and it looked like the party was just getting started when you left earlier with Blaine cracking open another bottle of tequila and Kurt cutting up some limes.
"Yo, Berry?" You call and Rachel's head snaps up as she pulls her knees to her chest, feet on the seat of the camping chair she's on with a blanket covering her. "Where'd everyone go?"
She sweeps her hand out, gesturing towards the house. "Think the beach took it out of them. They've all gone to bed after one tequila too many, but I wanted to enjoy the fire for a little longer."
You push your tongue to the back of your teeth, wanting to ask if Brittany was okay as she didn't do much nor was she drinking obviously, so she shouldn't be that tired but maybe the pregnancy got the better of her. Maybe she hasn't been feeling well today, which you should know but you don't as you've been trying to make Mona feel comfortable and spending time with her, and you kind of hate yourself right now as you overlooked that, but it makes sense.
Brittany's been weirdly distant today.
But as that thought springs to mind, you glance at Rachel and see something in her eyes, and you just end up swallowing the words that come with your thoughts. It's something that makes you doubt her explanation of wanting to sit by the fire for longer, and you are her publicist, and her friend, so if she's going through something you know you need to find out what it is as early as possible so you can handle it and when the corner of her lip twitches, her head moving in the slightest of nods, you know you need to be alone with her.
So you look to Mona, squeezing her hand drop a kiss to her cheek, subtly moving your head in the direction of Rachel to silently explain that you're going to hang back, but you still say something, so it doesn't get lost in translation.
"I'll see you upstairs," you say, and Mona gets it, her lips dropping open, but she follows your line of sight and glances at Rachel who shuffles uncomfortably, almost like she's confirming she wants to speak to you, too and the blonde doesn't argue.
"No problem," she utters and flashes a warm smile at you, then Rachel before skipping into the house and leaving you alone.
You're kind of glad Mona handled that well, as she could've found it weird, but she knows you work for Rachel and you don't completely hate the girl, but it makes you feel more comfortable about your situationship. If Mona can be like that, then maybe you consider labelling something between you in the distant future, but that's not important right now so you make your way over to the camping chair next to Rachel, scoot across in it until you're right next to her and reach over, stretching the blanket on her lap across so it covers yours, too.
She laughs, and you roll your eyes playfully because you don't mind her when she's not being psychotic or irritating, but it also lets you know she's wanting to talk to you about something serious and usually, this never goes well. The last time this happened, you found out about the gigolo boyfriend, even if you were fully aware of it thanks to an in depth background check of him that happened that morning, which was slightly illegal but that's neither here nor there.
"So," you clear your throat and pick at the edge of the blanket, eyes trained on the roaring fire in the large metal bowl in front of you. "What's up, Berry? What have you done this time?"
Rachel laughs lightly but nudges her elbow against yours. "Shut up. For once, I don't want to talk about me."
You frown and look at her slowly, eyes narrowing. "That's possible?" You throw back and she glares, but she's stifling a giggle and that was the intention of being mean, of making this suddenly heavy situation feel lighter.
Because she never wants to talk to you about you, or anything other than her and her personal life and/or career, and when she does it usually involves stealing the spotlight, so this is weird but considering the events of the past 24 hours, it's not that surprising. You just didn't want to think she might actually want to comment on your life and stick her nose in, even though that's so Rachel Berry – proven by her inviting Mona behind your back in the first place – but the thing that's odd is the way in which she's doing it.
You haven't been sat here for more than a minute and she's not talking at you, instead she's skirting around the topic which she's yet to bring up, but you feel like you know what it is anyway.
"How are you and Mona?"
There it is.
"Good," you reply without a beat and suck your lips into your mouth, still staring at her even though she's doing her best not to meet your eye. She always told you she gets intimidated by eye contact with you as it makes her feel like Satan is about to appear. "Why are you asking?"
"Just curious," she shrugs and reaches over to grab a glass of wine off the decking, sipping at it and taking her damn time, but you're impatient, and now you're unsure where this conversation is going as she's yet to bring up Brittany, which you're sure she would as she's been plenty verbal before when it comes to that situation.
"Just spit it out," you finally hiss and Rachel flinches, but laughs nervously and it's beginning to really piss you off.
"Brittany just went to bed after you guys left to go to the beach," she explains, but it's not really an explanation nor an answer to any question inside your head as it's out of the blue, and totally unrelated to you and Mona bar the fact it happened after you went for a walk.
"So? Didn't everyone else?" You ask and look around the empty chairs surrounding the firepit. "Or is everyone just really good at hiding?"
Rachel turns to look at you, that seriousness back in her eyes as she chews on the inside of her cheek, ignoring your joke. "Yeah they did but… Brittany went first."
It still isn't leading anywhere quickly, and you're starting to remember why you don't treat her as a friend, like you are now, and why being a publicist is so much easier as you can use that as an excuse to bitch out at her, as she's usually making another poor decision. But you can't do that now, as you're on a weekend vacation and one of the points you made prior to coming here to make sure she understood, was that neither of you would be in work mode and you'll break it if you just snap for no good reason.
It's not like she's unwillingly offering you an opinion, just telling you things she wants you to hear. Even if you don't get why.
So you swallow against the venom, take in a deep breath and force calm into your voice as you speak. "Okay," you draw out. "And you're telling me because…"
"Just thought you should know," she shrugs but yup, now you're definitely pissed. "How far along is she?"
You're being thrown left to right, up and down, and so you jerk your head back, blinking rapidly. What the fuck is she on tonight?
"28 weeks," you reply, distracted by blur in your mind from not understanding anything about the right now. "What's your point, Berry?"
Your voice is sharp, and showing blatant annoyance that she usually reacts to, but she's not. There's no fear in her eyes, and you'd like to say it's because of agreeing not to be the usual bitchy publicist Santana that she's used to being around, but you don't think it is. She's concerned, not scared, and it's making your stomach turn because you don't get why. You're trying to link the things she's said to paint a bigger picture, but it's all just messy and blurred and you can't make any sense of it.
"Third trimester is coming up," Rachel continues, totally disregarding your obvious glare but you know she is going somewhere and clearly your attitude isn't making it happen faster, so you find an internal zen and lean into your chair, stealing the wine glass out of her hand and tipping the rest of the contents back. It settles in your stomach, warming your body alongside the burning fire, and you just nod your head.
"Yup."
"Are you nervous?"
Your eyes slide to her again. "Not really. Nervous about the antenatal class we're going to soon, though… Not sure what to expect," you shrug as the day before yesterday, Brittany text you to ask if you would come to her first one.
You have no idea what it involves bar what you've researched and the pictures you've seen on Google, but you guess both parents usually go, and you want to experience everything with her so neither of you miss anything.
You've done it so far and managed despite some struggle. You stay at each other's places – albeit not much recently – with you in separate rooms or you on the sofa when she's at yours, and the baby has kicked a few times. The first time, you cried together but still returned despite all urge to stay there and fall asleep with Brittany in your arms, but that was the day after you slept with Mona.
Which meant you just couldn't, as you feel like that stamped the barrier that is desperately needed to keep you and Brittany apart. The one that disappeared for the first few hours you were here in Montauk, but swiftly came back up and has separated you two since as you've barely spoken to her today.
(Something you're trying not to focus on, but desperately aware of and even more so now that Rachel's beating around the bush that's Brittany shaped.)
(You're guessing you're not the only one who's noticed the severe lack of interaction between you and your ex.)
(Otherwise, you wouldn't be sitting here.)
"Yeah, Britt mentioned that," Rachel replies, and you frown even deeper. They've talked about that? "Which is kind of why I wanted to get you alone," she finally admits and thank God, because you were two seconds away from excusing yourself and disappearing.
You do not want to unleash the beast as she wouldn't ever let you live that down, but you also don't have the patience for this. The longer this conversation goes on, the more you're going to have to think about what to explain to Mona when she inevitably asks what Rachel said and that's already something you're dreading as you have no point to go on yet. Maybe it would be appropriate to tell Mona the truth, but you don't feel like it will be otherwise Rachel wouldn't have wanted to get you alone, like she just said.
Fuck.
"We're friends, right?" She starts and twists her body, side pressing into the back of her camping chair as her hands move to rest on the arm.
You nod cautiously, as her putting that out there is making your stomach turn uncomfortably. If you're friends, she's undoubtedly going to say something that is going to piss you off enough to lash out at her and she's looking at you like she's remembering the promise you made. It was supposed to be for your benefit, as you really wanted to chill and enjoy the vacation instead of having to deal with another poor decision on Rachel's behalf, but now you think that was stupid and she's using it to her advantage.
Still, you don't know either way, so you just wait it out.
"Okay, well as a friend, I think you should talk to Brittany," Rachel finally gets to the point, but your eyebrows lift to your hairline. You hate when people tell you what to do when it comes to Brittany as they have no idea about your past so you have to navigate it carefully, but Rachel is fully aware of that and so she must be saying it for a reason.
There's no way she's that dumb.
"Just to make sure everything's okay between you, because we spoke earlier when we were coming back from the beach, and I couldn't help but notice she was… off?" Her face twists, eyes squinting like she's trying to find the right description, but you get it regardless. "I don't know her, or really know anything about your confusing relationship that somehow works," she shrugs, and you bite down on your tongue, fighting natural instinct to defend but you don't think she's attacking you. You genuinely think she's being your friend.
"But I know women, and I'm as jealous as they come so game recognises game, and I've gotta say, Santana…" She sets her hand over the back of yours on your lap, your eyes moving down to it before back up to her eyes and instead of annoyance, you feel warmth. This is the Rachel Berry that's your friend, the one you told about visiting your parents, and the one that you pretend isn't actually close to you, but really is in a weird way.
You usually kind of hate that, but right now, you appreciate it instead.
"I can't help but think Brittany might be off, because of you and Mona… She might be jealous," she finally gets out and that's the crux of it.
That's why she didn't want Mona to be around for this – for which you're entirely grateful for the foresight – and you know it must have taken some awareness of anything other than herself to pick up on signs, so it's got to be important. She knows better than to come to you without feeling confident, without evidence, as you always pick holes in whatever she has to say, but you haven't been around to see it to know either way and that pisses you off all over again.
What did you miss today?
You don't know, so you ask. "What's happened? Did she say that?"
Rachel pinches her lips together. "Nothing specific and no," she lands on as a response, and you clench your jaw. You're not sure you're buying that, but you're having a hard time calling it as she's not looking at you, just staring at the fire but then she's inhaling, and turning back, plucking the wine glass out of your hand, and climbing to her feet, stopping to look down at you.
"I'm just trying to think of how I would feel if I were in her shoes, pregnant with your baby whilst your girlfriend's just turned up at a getaway that you two were enjoying together before–" Your mouth opens to argue, but she just speaks over you when you try. "And I just think it'd be hard for me not to feel jealous, or feel something towards you, especially after screwing your not girlfriend in the next room and honestly?" She lifts her shoulder, sucking in her lips and taking a second, eyes studying you. "I would've been as distant as she has been today," she hums and pinches her lips together knowingly. "You're not the only one who hasn't talked much to her."
Your eyebrows pinch together in the middle of your forehead, your head cocking to the side and you process her words. You're not sure what you're more stuck on, the fact that you have no idea why Brittany's not been her lively self today as you have noticed, the fact that you hadn't even considered that Mona's presence might make her question her own, that you didn't even think about how having sex in the room across the hall with someone else would affect Brittany, or that Rachel's calling you out in a way that doesn't make you want to tear her head off.
She isn't one for delicacy, usually going straight for the jugular, but that only reinforces the belief that she's really trying to be your friend right now, without ulterior motive and that's a hard thing to criticise, especially when it means Rachel's putting Brittany first.
Something you should be doing as she is the mother of your unborn child and supposed to be her best friend, or the closest thing she has to one here in Montauk, anyway.
"Maybe you should just check on her," Rachel follows up when you give nothing but stunned silence, shifting her weight from one leg to the other, playing with the wine glass in hand still. "She didn't have any time to prepare meeting Mona, or prepare for anything else, and I've seen how she's been looking at you today and tonight," she shrugs again, because she doesn't know what it means but you could.
You even saw it earlier across the firepit when you were both laughing, and a few times before and after that and it's been nagging at the back of your skull, but you've ignored it. You have to, because Mona's here, because you're just friends and because of a thousand other reasons, so you're not sure you want to know why Brittany's being 'off.' Rachel's noticed it though and is telling you for good reasons and you could bite at her, but you know it comes from a good place.
Even if you wished she hadn't said it because now you're starting to have doubts about everything and that never goes well.
"Gotta keep things clear with your situation, you know?" She finishes but then takes a long breath when you nod your head weakly. "Want your own glass? I'm going in for a refill," she follows up and her eyes flit towards the cabin and the normal Rachel is back when you register the jibe as you did finish her drink, so you should probably be doing it, but you skip over it.
"Yeah, I'll have one," you confirm with a barely there smile and Rachel nods before walking off and leaving you to your thoughts.
/
Okay, so your turn lasted ten times longer than Brittany's did, but the game came to a swift end after that.
You licked off half a can of whipped cream from her half-naked body, making sure you had stripped her down to her underwear so you could pretend that you didn't want to ruin her clothes. It wasn't like the laundry room was any use as the power was still out, but you two were making full use of the sensual aura in the room and used the rags to clean up the mess left after.
The candles were still burning, and it was intense and hot, so it wasn't much of surprise when you kissed her after the whipped cream, stroking over every inch of her body until you were rock hard and grinding into her, sat between her legs with yours either side of the coffee table, and hers behind you, her hips propped up on your thighs. She'd stripped you down quickly and then you returned to your positions, having Googled a few positions from the Karma Sutra to widen your knowledge on the sexual side of the universe, and chose that that position was the way you wanted to take her.
And that's how you ended up finishing the game, cock buried deep inside of Brittany, her body glistening in the candlelight with sweat as you moved inside of her, feeling your own sweaty skin sticking to the coffee table beneath you and hers, but you didn't care. Her hands were clutching at yours, resting on her stomach and your eyes were trained on taking in every feature in her face as it twitched, pleasure coursing through her veins as you worked her.
"Ugh… Santana," she chanted your name breathlessly, her legs squirming around you as she rolled her body.
But you two had been doing it for the past ten minutes, and due to all the build-up which inevitably led you to fucking her on the coffee table in a brand new position you knew would become a favourite, prior to starting, you were aware that you weren't going to last long, and you were already dangerously close. Hearing her say your name just made your skin flood with heat, your thrusts inexplicably speeding up until bumped versions of your name were leaving her mouth instead, and you tried to regulate your breathing, but it wasn't working.
You were panting like a freaking dog after chasing a rabbit, chest heaving up and down and you leaned across her, removing your hands from beneath her clutch to grip at table edge, either side of her hips. You pushed up, using your strength to hold yourself up as you hammered into your girlfriend but keeping her hips tilted, feeling slick walls clench around you every time you bottomed out inside of her, creating the most heavenly mewl but you wanted to make her come again.
She had already come twice, and gushed a little on to the surface you were sat on at the five minute mark, but you didn't care. You just wanted her to make her feel as good as she made you feel. You wanted to find out what you could make her body do and you were amazed and so freaking turned on that it just made everything race to the finish line so much faster than any of the other times you'd ever had sex.
Bar the first time, but that was understandable.
"Fuck," you groaned, the too familiar heat in your spine, signalling you were close, but you didn't let up, just bit down hard on your bottom lip, eyes squeezed shut as you pounded into her, ensuring your body rolled in the way she liked it, and you felt her hand squeeze between your bodies as she began circling her clit.
It made your entire body light up like a freaking firework when you noticed, Spanish curse words flooding out your mouth as you tipped your foreheads together, so you increased the pace, listening to the obscene smacking sounds echoing the room and trying to push away the inevitable, but after one, two more thrusts, you couldn't anymore. She was breathing hard into you, holding you impossibly close and you were brimming on the edge of to something beautiful.
Something you couldn't hold back on anymore.
Your eyes bugged open, a choked breath escaping your lips and Brittany tensed, her hand stilling on her clit and her other snapping to your bicep, nails digging into the skin as you both came hard together. She clenched around you so tight, rolling into it with you but that just intensified yours as she massaged your dick, milking you for everything you had as you released inside of her, feeling warmth coat the tip as you jerked sloppily off rhythm, ultimate bliss flooding through your body like a wave upon a shore.
"Oh m-my G-God," Brittany moaned, her voice shrieking into a high pitch as her orgasm punched through her, and bright blue eyes were boring into yours, holding them as you both rode the waves, and it took a couple of seconds, but then you were collapsing, exhaustion slicing through your muscles as you draped your body over hers, her legs twitching around your waist as you both fell into a post-coital haze, tucking your face into her neck.
After a couple of bliss filled minutes, with only the sound of both of you trying to catch your breaths, you began giggling. Your entire body ached, the sweat now becoming sticky and not in a comfortable way anymore as you peeled yourself off Brittany, feeling her body begin to vibrate as she giggled along with you, clearly in the same place mentally you were. The game may have been called 'Too Hot,' but you were actually too freaking hot from the mind-blowing sex you just had, and the candles weren't helping now as they were a natural source of heat.
"I'm freaking boiling," she commented through light chuckles, the words airy and she started fanning her face, which you gazed at for a few seconds, registering swollen lips, flushed skin and the bluest eyes known to man. They were still clouded over, and her body was twitching here and there as she rode out multiple orgasms, and that was all kinds of distracting, so you didn't answer until she spoke again. "Can you power a fan using a potato? I saw a commercial once where they used a potato as a battery."
You let out a long string of laughter, scrunching up your nose as you stared down at her because you couldn't believe her sometimes. How did she go from coming hard against you, panting against your mouth to only a few minutes later, talking about potatoes? You really didn't understand her, but you also totally got her and that's why you thought you were falling in love with her hard and fast.
Even if you were downright terrified of doing that.
"I don't think so, Britt," you got out between chuckles, wincing when you lifted your hips and felt your softening cock still inside of her. You needed to pull out, but you really didn't want to lose your connection with her and after that round, you wouldn't be able to reload that quickly. Even if you were a hormonal teenager with the hottest girlfriend on the planet. "We need to clear up," you said instead, peering at the small puddle of juices between your intertwined bodies. "And maybe take a shower."
Brittany giggled more, but then agreed and braced herself, hands gripping your biceps and looked you in the eye, giving you a nod. Reluctantly, you grasped the base of your cock and slid out of her, whimpering at the loss of heat around you and ignoring the tell-tale signs of pressure building in your spine as your eyes focused on her slick folds, gulping when you saw her hips roll which made stuff trickle out of her as you shifted back.
You then had a whole new definition of this game because that was too freaking hot.
"Does the shower still work when the power is out?" She asked, not noticing you were totally distracted, and you snapped your vision up, finding her smirking at you and peering down where you just were, registering it then.
You swallowed again, nodding, the heat definitely not going away and Brittany's suggestion about attempting to power a fan with a potato becoming something to consider, and somehow getting hotter as you shuffled back further and let her swing her legs over the edge of the coffee table, sitting upright and scooting over to you, invading your personal space and you were more than okay with that. You may have just had the most exhausting sex of either of your lives (so far), but you were discovering you were wrong about your ability to reload as you took note of the glint in her eyes.
You were already getting there, and you think she was already prepared for round two.
"Yeah," you managed to get out, voice thick with arousal and your breathing getting heavier all over again. "House has old school plumbing," you tried to explain, like you weren't lost in her eyes and feeling your cock begin to twitch again. "But we might have to get in there together," you followed up, nodding your head as you began thinking maybe, it wasn't such a bad idea. You still had the whole night and there were no Twitter updates from the power company about restoring the electricity. "Make sure we're safe and stuff because it's dark obviously."
Brittany smirked, her teeth taking in her bottom lip as she traced a single finger down your neck, eyes following the movement before they dragged back up to meet yours through long lashes. "Obviously," she whispered, and a smile cracked at your face as you got closer to her again, until your lips were ghosting over each other, but you didn't kiss her just yet, instead whispered the same word back to her before doing so.
/
You go upstairs, but when you're in the hallway, you stop in your tracks, feet feeling heavy as your eyes dart between the two doors on your left and right.
You wouldn't be having such indecision if it wasn't for Rachel talking to you earlier about Brittany, and even though you two finished another bottle of wine before coming up, you know it started sinking in and becoming the only thing you can focus on. You didn't talk it out with Rachel after that, just pretended to go on about something else and saw the normal Rachel Berry pop her head out as she began talking about herself and this new stripper guy she's interested in, but you welcomed it as it meant you could think about what she said.
You hate yourself for not asking why Brittany's been off today, even though subconsciously, you think you do. You've just been avoiding dealing with the consequences of it, wanting to live in blissful ignorance and now you're torn, staring at two doors that have two blondes behind them.
Because you don't know which one to go into.
If you go into your room, where Mona is, you'll probably end up finishing the night in the way you did yesterday and without talking to Brittany first, you're not sure you can do that again. You didn't think it over much the first time, even though you should have, but you know you can't do it again.
It's not like you agree with Rachel either and think Brittany's jealous because you don't. She might be feeling ill or aching today – it happens a lot with her back – but you're now picking up on things you didn't throughout the day and how many times you've caught her looking at you and with what Rachel said, you don't know how you would feel if the roles were reversed.
If Brittany was here, with a new person, would you be okay with seeing them flirt and kiss and all the stuff people do in the first few weeks of dating? No, you don't think you would, and you hate yourself more as you stand there, because you've been inconsiderate, especially after banging Mona in the room across the hall from Brittany's. You've been the normal Santana a little too much, which you thought was a good thing but now you definitely don't.
Now it's making you want to disregard your own room, go into Brittany's, and apologise. It's making you want to ask her if she's jealous straight up and if so, why. You don't want to hover over this and overthink everything as you've still got another day here and a few months left before the baby comes, but if you don't get an answer you might end up doing irreparable damage and like Rachel said, you need clarity with your situation.
If she has a problem with Mona, you need to know now. Sure, she said that she'd be okay with you dating but you did also say you weren't into dating so she probably wasn't expecting Mona to come along – neither were you – and you can only see Rachel's point more because you went through seeing Brittany going on one and even meeting the guy. That was only one date, and you went out and hooked up with some random blonde in a bar with Kurt to try to take your mind off it, which didn't work, and you ended up feeling shitty because of your knee jerk reaction.
You don't want the same thing to happen to her. You don't want her to feel that way and you have this innate need to make sure she's okay but that's deeply rooted in your chest from a connection you formed with her over a decade ago. That's a still burning ember, remaining untouched but undiscovered until she walked back into your life, and you didn't like it at first, but you've learned to live with it.
But that doesn't mean going into her room would be the right decision though, as you think you might do something stupid in there and either say something dumb or leading, if she can't explain why she's jealous which would make it super difficult to return to Mona afterwards as you might not be in the same mindset.
Not that you're expecting that but… You just don't know.
You don't get to decide what to do before the sound of a door opening jerks you out of your daze, and you're about to go into full panic mode but then you register it's the bathroom and see Kurt stepping out, all sleepy eyed and rubbing at them with one hand. He notices you quickly, dropping his arm and opening his mouth, but then he must see something in your face, or maybe notice that you're literally stood in between two rooms that you shouldn't be hesitating over, because his face twists with something warm… Something understanding.
It's not what you expected to see either, but he just pinches his lips up at the side, smiles sadly but knowingly and walks past you towards his room, pausing when he's right next to you to pat you on the arm, nod his head once like he's telling you that you know the right thing to do even though it hasn't been spoken about, and disappears into his bedroom without a single word.
And just like that, you do know what to do.
So you take a deep breath, turn your feet towards your chosen door and reach out for the handle.
/
Oooooooooooh bitch! Who's room is she going into?