Title: Herculean Tasks - Chapter 7 - With Unbearable Sorrow

Rating: T

Pairings: Eventual "Goddenport"

Summary: Of all the things to encounter in deep space, the crew would not have guessed a man who claimed to be a knight from Old Earth would be one of them. The man's identity is called into question, potentially revealing another layer to the conspiracy back home.

Disclaimer: Takes place during "The Impossible Dram," and some dialogue is lifted directly from the episode to serve the story. I don't own Space Cases; I just like to play in the show's sandbox.

Warning: Chapter contains character death.

Chapter 7: With Unbearable Sorrow

Of all the things to encounter in deep space, Seth would not have guessed a man who claimed to be a knight from Old Earth would be one of them. Both T.J. and Seth were skeptical about Dram's identity. Luckily, it appeared the gentleman wanted to protect the crew—mistaking Catalina for his daughter and Harlan for his squire. Though Dram's sword, Seth insisted, must be confiscated.

After an eventful day of chasing the surprisingly spry old man around the ship, being declared King, and repairing Thelma, Seth was in desperate need of a nap. But there were still some pressing issues that needed to be addressed: namely, the crew needed to figure out exactly who Dram really was.

Thelma, Radu, and T.J. remained in the Command Post trying to access the files on the data crystal from Dram's ship, while Seth searched for the older gentleman, deciding it would be prudent to get him to the Med Lab for some scans and some rest. He found him taking a leisurely stroll through the corridors with Harlan and Catalina, and Seth was happy that the trio seemed to be enjoying each other's company.

"But Your Highness, I have not yet paid my respects to the Queen," Dram protested upon hearing Seth's suggestion.

"The Queen? There is no—"

"Ah, here she must be now!" Dram declared, bowing with flourish.

Seth cursed his luck when he turned to find T.J. standing behind him. He shot the kids a warning glare, to which they responded with suspiciously angelic smiles.

Space help him.

T.J. quirked an eyebrow as she came to stand at the Commander's side, and she braced herself for whatever impending nonsense was likely to occur in her presence. "What is going on?"

"Your Majesties, I thank you for allowing me to seek refuge in your realm," Dram continued.

T.J. was flabbergasted and could feel herself turning beet red as the kids laughed. She noticed the moment Seth's exasperation eased and he appeared more relaxed, if not a little playful. He flashed an impish smile in her direction.

That damn smirk would be the death of her.

"Dram realized that the Commander is 'King of this realm,'" Harlan explained with air quotes and a smirk of his own.

Cat scrunched her nose as she giggled. "Which means…"

Bloody hell. T.J. managed to recover quickly and clear her throat. "Commander? Radu, Thelma, and I were able to access some helpful data. If I may request your presence in the Command Post?"

"Of course." He grinned again and offered his outstretched hand. "M'lady."

"Oh honestly, Commander." T.J. huffed and turned on her heel to lead the way back down the corridor.

"Oof. Rejected," Harlan chuckled.

"Do not despair, Your Highness," Dram offered. "'Tis probably just a tiny lover's quarrel. And besides, 'where there is great love, there is often little display of it.'"

The two students erupted into fits of laughter that left Dram confused and their commander perturbed.

T.J. and Seth entered the Command Post to find that Thelma and Radu had successfully booted up a video file from the data crystal. The group watched the recording of the confused man, noting that his daughter did in fact bear a striking resemblance to Catalina. T.J.'s heart sank, and she willed herself not to cry as the symptoms of Dram's illness manifested throughout the compiled footage; Seth's emotion of choice was abject horror.

They learned that Dram was a respected scientist from one of the Sol System's outer rim colonies. He began displaying symptoms of sudden rapid onset dementia shortly after he'd retired from his position as CSO of one of Tau Ceti's esteemed biomedical research laboratories. Dram's only child, Mira, couldn't take care of him on her own, so she sent him to live at a facility that would provide him with the best care money could buy. But Dram never arrived at his destination; his transport ship was attacked by Spung en route.

Rapid onset dementia followed by a Spung attack: This series of events definitely triggered alarm bells in Seth's mind. With the political climate back home, could Dram have been targeted? If so, for what purpose? What did he know? What research had he conducted?

What did the UPP want him to forget?

T.J. noticed Seth flexing his fingers into a fist at his side, and she moved to place her hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged her away and made a swift exit from the room. Shocked, she excused herself and followed after him.

"Seth! Please...?" She didn't even know what she was asking. For him to stop? For him to talk to her? For him not to be upset? For him to help her process what they just saw?

He paused in the middle of the corridor and slowly turned toward her with his eyes downcast. He bit the inside of his cheek as he thought about what to say. "I'm sorry. I just wasn't expecting..."

"I know. That was difficult for me to watch as well."

"He doesn't deserve this," Seth blurted out, the pain and anger lacing his voice. "He doesn't deserve what's happening to him."

T.J. nodded in agreement, gently noting, "You seem quite affected by the footage. Did you perhaps know someone else who…?"

Her question surprised him. He thought back to the War and even to a few weeks prior when Catalina had been threatened with a mind wipe. Seth admitted to himself that Dram reminded him a bit of James Davenport: both men shared the same philosophical nature, both were kind and selfless, and both had the same mischievous twinkle in their eyes. Seth suspected Dram and James would be great friends.

Or had they been great friends?

It wasn't out of the realm of possibility: James said he had friends in high places. And as confused as he was, Dram's intentions were noble: he wanted to hunt down a monster and protect his daughter. In the simplest terms, that is also what James wanted.

What if James was being targeted back home? What if T.J. had been targeted back home, instead? If anyone ever wanted her to forget…

"Seth, what is it? You're shaking."

She soon found his arms wrapped tightly around her. She let out a startled "Oh!" as he held her close, but she didn't make any move to pull away.

"Um...what are you doing?" she wondered, shocked, as her hands came to rest on his back. She tentatively reciprocated the embrace, finding it wasn't unpleasant in the slightest.

"Giving you a hug?" he answered, suddenly embarrassed. He released her and took a step back to give her space, afraid he'd crossed a line. "Sorry. It looked like you were a little shaken up and could use one. Was I wrong? I didn't mean to—"

"No. It was nice, actually," she admitted with a grateful smile. "It was unexpected, but nice." She hesitantly wrapped her arms around him this time, explaining, "Although perhaps you needed the hug more than I."

He nodded against her shoulder and sighed, feeling some of his tension melt away just by being in her arms. "Perhaps." He took a deep breath and pulled back, deciding, "We have to tell Cat about Dram."

"She will be devastated. Goodness, she has already lost so much. Her parents died when she was just a child."

"Engine malfunction," Seth muttered bitterly under his breath. Off T.J.'s quizzical glance, he clarified with a heavy heart, "Cat's parents. They were on a shuttle that crashed. Due to an engine malfunction. That's how it happened."

T.J. gasped as the pieces fell into place and the guilt set in. For all the times she had rolled her eyes at Catalina's mention of Suzee, how could she have discounted the possibility that the imaginary/invisible engineering genius was not a joke, but a coping mechanism born of trauma? "I didn't know. Oh, that poor girl. Why did you not tell me?"

Seth found himself unable to look her in the eye as he admitted, "I'm really not supposed to know the details, myself. Please let me take the lead on this one though."

She agreed, albeit reluctantly. "Would you like me to accompany you, at least? Perhaps for, I don't know," she fumbled for an excuse, "moral support?"

"I appreciate it, but this might be best one-on-one. I don't want Cat to feel cornered, especially after what happened at the prison. Thanks though. Really, Teej. Thank you."

"I will still be available: should you change your mind, or should Catalina wish to speak with me." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. She handed it to Seth, telling him, "Here, take it. Should someone need it."

He rolled his eyes even as he accepted the neatly-folded baby blue cloth. "Someone, eh?"

"Whomever may need it. No assumptions or judgment, of course," she clarified. "It is best to be prepared, is it not?"

Seth delivered the news of Dram's illness on his own. As he expected, Catalina was in denial and stormed into the Command Post, demanding to see proof of the Commander's claims.

T.J. wanted nothing more than to gather the girl in a hug and offer her words of comfort, but all she could do was fidget and explain the files detailing Dram's condition. She managed to maintain her composure for the most part and stuck to the facts, as if teaching a history lesson and not discussing something more personal. And as she recited what they'd uncovered, her voice remained neutral but gentle.

Seth contributed where he could, noticing the subtle unspoken ways in which T.J. asked for his help: wringing her hands and hunching slightly as she neglected her posture and focused intensely on keeping the tremor of emotion from her voice.

"We think his transport ship was attacked. Possibly by the Spung," Radu added. "Both the ships were destroyed, apparently. But-but Dram was put into suspended animation in an escape pod and ejected before that happened. He'd been floating in space for several years before the pod's automatic systems latched onto us."

"Well, could we put him back into the pod?" Catalina asked, her voice small. "Into suspended animation? He'd be asleep, but alive."

T.J. and Seth turned to look at each other in an extension of their silent conversation. It was T.J. who delivered the bad news this time, "No. The seal is broken, Catalina."

Still grasping at straws, the girl fumbled for a solution. "Well then how 'bout... How 'bout if we...?"

"There's nothing we can do," Seth decided, determined to end the rather painful discussion. As if apologizing for the situation and his abruptness, he added, "I'm sorry."

The girl nodded for a moment, but then furrowed her brow. "No. It's dumb," she decided stubbornly, defiantly. "Forming attachments is dumb. There's no point. Not if stuff like this keeps happening."

Seth was quick to interject, "I disagree. The War took a lot of people from my life. And yes, it was painful. It still is. But I believe that forming bonds and friendships and relationships is perhaps the most rewarding thing in the universe. It gives you the opportunity to teach others and learn from them, to brighten someone's day and receive the same in return, to have a support system and serve as part of one, and to live a full life and help others do the same."

T.J. looked at him in awe, but it was Catalina who asked aloud, "After everything that's happened and everything you must've seen, you still believe all that?"

He nodded. "Absolutely. Without question."

Catalina took a breath as she processed this. "But Dram can stay, right? While he's… For the rest of… That means you'll let Dram stay?"

"We'll need to keep an eye on him. But he can stay."

Catalina fought back another wave of tears, swiping at her eyes in a futile attempt to compose herself. "Thank you."

Seth reached into his pocket and handed the girl T.J.'s handkerchief. Catalina accepted it, staring at the cloth in confusion for several seconds. The origin of the object in question was enough to momentarily distract her from her grief. She looked between the two adults before meeting her teacher's eyes. "But this is—"

T.J. surprised them both when she moved to embrace the girl, unable to stand idle and watch her cry any longer. Moral support, she thought. "I am so sorry, Catalina. Please let us know if you need anything. We are here for you, Dear."

"Thanks—" Catalina pursed her lips together, deciding against expressing the rest of the thought aloud. She stepped back and glanced to the empty space next to her teacher before managing a melancholy smile. "I'm gonna go find Dram, if that's okay."

T.J. nodded. "Of course."

The tension dissipated as Catalina departed with a whoosh of the jumptubes, and T.J. turned to address the young navigator who had been silently and respectfully observing the emotional exchange from Harlan's post.

"Thank you, Radu. You did not need to stay."

"No, I-I wanted to help," the boy stammered. "Catalina: she's like the...sister I never had, I guess." Off the adults' expressions of surprise, he backpedaled, "At least, that's what I think, from what I've been told of family relationships. R-Rosie tried explaining some of that stuff to me. She said I was like the brother she never had. And I, uh, I think that's how I feel too: Rosie, Cat, Bova, and even Harlan are like my sib…?" He struggled to find the gender-neutral term.

"Siblings," T.J. offered.

"They're like my siblings," Radu declared, testing the term. He nodded to himself; it felt right. "I know it's been a while, but I've been thinking back to the family tree assignment. I know I'm different from the others, and that I don't have a family in the same way they all do. But I'd like to know more about their cultures and-and how families work."

"And I would be happy to discuss the subject further. Perhaps we can continue after class tomorrow. I would like the time to properly address all of your questions," T.J. suggested gently, foreseeing the inevitable conclusion that would be drawn from the conversation. "Speaking of Rosie, I believe she is due for training at her post. Would you mind fetching her, please?"

The young navigator licked his lips and nodded. "Sure. I'll go remind her. Thanks, Miss Davenport." He covered his mouth as he yawned before leaving through the jumptubes.

"Pardon," T.J. said through a yawn of her own. "And I'm sorry. I just couldn't—"

"I know," Seth interrupted. "No need to apologize. That would have been another hell of a conversation to have today."

"We are responsible for navigating the kids through deep space, through adolescence, through loss, through life. Perhaps it is best not to think about the enormity of it all." She furrowed her brow and jutted her lower lip out into a tiny pout as she sighed. After a moment of contemplation, she voiced her concern softly, "How long do you anticipate Dram will stay with us?"

Seth took a breath, unprepared for the question. Though he should have known this discussion would happen sooner or later. He had hoped for later and then shook his head at the thought. Later. It was always Later with him.

Space only knew how T.J. could have the patience of a saint when it came to him and Later.

"Uh, how do you mean?"

"It is all the same, isn't it?" she wondered, gently. "The poor man's escape pod is irreparable. Even if he had a way to leave, he would not want to. You would not change your mind and order him off the ship even though you could; and if you did, I simply would not allow it." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "What will we do when he passes?" she asked in a whisper.

Seth sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know."

"And even before then, when his memory deteriorates to the point where he does not even recognize us anymore—when even the girl who looks so very much like his beloved daughter becomes a stranger to him—how do we cope with that? How do we prepare for that?"

"One thing at a time. I don't want to think about that right now."

"Someone has to, and I wish that someone was not always me. I'm always worrying, always planning, always trying to make things easier only to somehow wind up making them more difficult." T.J. yawned again and leaned against the helm controls. "Goodness, it is mentally, emotionally, and now even physically exhausting."

Worry set in as Seth noticed the color begin to drain from her face. "Teej, are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, I am just tired." She sighed heavily, all of her resolve depleted. "Seth, I am just so very tired."

"Maybe we should go to the Med Lab. You look…" He stared at her for a moment and blinked rapidly as what little color she had left in her cheeks faded, leaving her skin frighteningly ashen. He blurted out her name and grasped her arm, thankful when his hand didn't pass right through her like some sort of ghost or hologram. He recalled Elmira's prediction for her, and the feeling of foreboding was unlike anything he'd experienced before. It chilled him to the bone.

Dreadful moans down every hall.

For days, your ghost on every wall.

"Are you alright, Seth?" she wondered, unsure what to make of the horrified expression on his face. "What is it?"

"You'd tell me if something was wrong?" he asked, grateful when the color seemed to return to her cheeks.

She shifted her weight and frowned at him, wary. "Would you?"

Seth was taken aback. He narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing every detail of her appearance and her body language, trying to determine what she was keeping from him. "You didn't answer my question."

"Nor did you answer mine," she noted, crestfallen. "I need a moment. Please excuse me. If Rosie arrives in my absence, let her know I will return shortly."

T.J. was grateful that Seth did not follow her into the hall. She closed her eyes, slumped against the door, and took a deep breath to ward off the feeling of vertigo. She needed to clear her mind of the pessimistic thoughts that amounted to a bleak future.

"Your Highness?"

T.J. yelped as her eyes snapped open, revealing Dram standing before her in the otherwise empty corridor. "Goodness! Dram, I'm sorry."

"No, no, it is I who must apologize. I did not mean to startle you."

"It is quite alright." T.J. tugged at her uniform jacket and regained her composure as she fought back another yawn. "Cat— I mean, your daughter just left the Command Post. I believe she wanted to spend some quality time with you. I could have our android, Thelma, locate her for you."

Dram beamed and mused, "My daughter is a royal advisor. So much has changed since I last saw her, and I cannot wait for her to tell me of her adventures. She always did want to travel and see the universe. Now she has that chance. I could not be more proud of her."

T.J. couldn't bear to follow through with her original line of questioning and potentially shatter the poor man's illusion. Disheartened that she might never be able to speak with Dram Cervantes, CSO, she decided she would make the most of an enlightening conversation with Sir Dram, Knight of Cervantes.

"We are quite proud of her as well. Please tell me more about your Mirabella," she requested as the two began strolling down the hall.

"Ah, well first I must note I am glad she has a role model such as yourself to look up to."

"There really is no need to flatter me. I assure you, you have earned my respect as well as that of the Com— the King."

"I am simply stating my opinion, Your Highness. Mirabella's mother passed some time ago, you see. But if her own mother cannot guide her, I am glad she has you."

T.J.'s eyes began to well with tears. "I am sorry to hear of your wife's passing."

"She was my dearest friend and grew to be my deepest love. We were together for thirty years before she died. I hope Mirabella finds someone who makes her as happy as her mother made me. In fact, I suspect she may be well on her way." He cleared his throat. "My little Bella has always been rather enchanted by Bassanio, you see. If my instincts are correct, it would seem my good squire has now taken an interest in her as well."

T.J. looked away as she said, "I have noted that theirs seems to be a complicated friendship."

"They bicker and tease: it is normal with young love." Dram paused mid-stride, catching T.J.'s attention and looking her directly in the eyes. "But I've learned that life is too short to waste time with such nonsense. I only wish for them to be happy. Were either one of them to approach me and ask for my blessing, I would be happy to give it."

"You would not disapprove of such a relationship even if they continued to work closely together?" T.J. asked carefully.

Dram's eyes sparkled as they continued on. "Is that not how you and the King go about things? You obviously govern together."

"I am afraid our dynamic is not that simple," T.J. admitted to Dram. It was not unlike Catalina and Harlan's complicated friendship, but that was something she only admitted to herself.

"I see. If I might be so bold to ask: I assume you are the one of noble birth?"

"Pardon?"

"You and your husband make quite a pair, but it is apparent to me that your king married well above his station," Dram clarified.

T.J. was barely able to stifle a laugh. "I'm sorry. I simply don't know where to begin." Deciding it would be too much effort to explain the reality of the situation to the old man, she offered vaguely, "Ours was a...surprising arrangement. I have hope that we will be able to, uhm, rule together harmoniously for years to come."

Dram hummed thoughtfully and nodded. "Hope is a fascinating thing. 'For hope is always born at the same time as love.'"

T.J. opened and closed her mouth, but no words came. She could feel her face getting hot, and she was certain that…

"It would appear your complexion is changing to match that of Mirabella's adorable radish friend."

T.J. brought her hand to her cheek and smiled demurely. "Rosie."

"Yes, that is the word: your complexion has turned very rosie," Dram agreed. "Apologies. I did not mean to embarrass you, Your Majesty."

T.J. shook her head as she considered the endearing old man beside her. "You remind me very much of my own father," she admitted. "I miss him terribly."

"He was a calming presence in your life, I assume."

"He always did seem to know what to say," T.J. agreed with a wistful smile. "He encouraged me to live up to my full potential and learn from my mistakes. But he noted that I was always my own worst critic, and that I put too much pressure on myself. I suppose what he really wanted was for me to be happy: to make my hopes and dreams a reality."

"And have you?"

The question surprised her, and she dismissed the concern with, "It does not matter."

"Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I must wholeheartedly disagree."

"I have responsibilities," T.J. said vaguely. "Ones I take very seriously. And that means I must make sacrifices."

Dram continued studying her but said nothing. Even so, the look on his face was one that spoke volumes and gave her pause: It was similar to the one that her father routinely gave her when she withheld information he instinctively already knew. There was the slight quirk of an eyebrow, the knowing twinkle in his eyes, and a reassuring smile, T.J. would cave every time without fail.

"I hope for many things," she found herself saying, pausing to yawn. "Oftentimes they are at odds with one another and may even seem impossible. We are very far from our home right now, you see. It is my responsibility to ensure the safety of everyone here on our journey."

"Your advisors will leave you once you return, then? You fear you will be lost without them?"

Of course Dram was confused, she reasoned: the students were not her advisors. And yet they seemed much more adept during their adventure than she'd ever imagined. T.J. found herself deferring to them more often: while dealing with the Straczyn virus, the Spung attacks, and the collision with the comet. Radu's suggestion of looking for the data crystal on Dram's ship was also very astute. She really was learning from the students as much as they were learning from her.

"They are very special," T.J. affirmed. More tears welled in her eyes. "They are a part of my family."

The smile never faded from Dram's face as he asked, "And what exactly is it that you dream of for yourself and your family, then?"

T.J. felt the answer more than she thought it, and she feared any explanation offered would leave her vulnerable and emotionally raw. She swallowed the lump in her throat and was relieved when she looked up to see Harlan approaching, finding his presence to be a welcome distraction from what was becoming a deeply personal conversation.

"Dram! There you are. Cat's been looking for you." The young Earther spared a glance at T.J., asking, "Is everything okay?"

T.J. offered what she hoped was a reassuring smile to both Dram and Harlan, even as she felt her heart aching. "Yes, Harlan. Everything is fine. Dram, it was lovely speaking with you. Thank you."

"The pleasure was all mine, Your Highness. It would seem you have some things you wish to contemplate, but I hope we will be able to continue our conversation soon."

"I would like that very much. Now, if you'll excuse me, duty calls."

Dram bowed before turning to Harlan and asking, "So, Bassanio, what does one do for entertainment on this enchanting ship?"

A flustered T.J. returned to the Command Post to find Seth struggling to operate the communications console. While Rosie offered him a sympathetic smile, T.J. flashed a cheeky grin and was pleased when he reacted by staring at the floor and rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"Don't worry, Commander. I'm sure the Christa will let you work some of the controls soon," Rosie encouraged him, always the optimist.

The Commander was more than happy to step aside and allow T.J. to guide their young charge, though he was equal parts alarmed and impressed by how much she knew about encrypting and decoding secure transmissions. He briefly wondered precisely how secure the contents of her compupad were, though he had a feeling he knew. But why would she feel the need to take such measures?

Seth tried to focus on the lesson, hoping to learn some helpful information as well, but he found his concentration drifting. His thoughts wandered to the crew's encounter with Sofiana, and he tried not to make connections between the Luff conflicts and what might be happening back home. He yawned several times throughout T.J.'s instruction, causing the teacher and student to do the same, and T.J. shot him a playful glare each time. Soon, it was a struggle for him to keep his eyes open, and her narrowed eyes held concern rather than playful frustration. He covered another yawn and leaned against the helm. Both were shocked when his legs gave way beneath him.

T.J. hurried to his side the instant he collapsed. She latched onto his arm in a feeble attempt to keep him upright. "Commander, what's happening?" she asked, trying and failing to keep the alarm from her voice.

He couldn't blink back his exhaustion anymore. He didn't have the energy to stand, and it was an effort to focus and speak. "I dunno, I just…" he trailed off as he pitched forward onto the floor.

T.J. gasped in horror as she looked over his prone form. She ordered Rosie to call for help and hurried over to the young medical officer, letting out a startled "Oh!" when the girl fell backward into her arms, unconscious.

T.J. had taken part in emergency first aid classes at Starcademy, but she hadn't been very confident during the simulations: she'd been too busy worrying if she would even be able to perform CPR on Rosie with her high body temperature or on Radu with his high molecular density.

"Oh dear. Come... Come on, now. Wake up," she pleaded weakly, gently shaking the girl to try and rouse her.

She looked between Seth on the floor and Rosie in her arms, unable to offer help to either of them as her own eyelids grew heavy. She reached for the console to activate the shipwide comm, but collapsed before she could hit the dial, bringing the girl to the floor with her.

"Rosie, please. Please wake up."

She gathered enough energy to gently nudge the girl but her attempts to wake her were futile. Running on adrenaline alone, T.J. willed herself to push herself up onto all fours, even as her muscles protested and her vision swam.

"I will not faint," she whispered to herself as she crawled toward the console again. "I will not faint."

What she thought was the sound of blood rushing in her ears morphed into the whir of the jumptubes. When she looked up, she was only able to discern a grey figure with a blur of rainbow before her eyes threatened to close.

"Catalina… Thank…heavens…"

The Saturnian looked around the room: to her teacher, to her commanding officer, and to her friend: the latter two lying unresponsive on the floor while the former lazily crawled her way back to the Commander's side.

"We have to do something," T.J. mumbled as Catalina unceremoniously shook the Commander.

T.J. finally lowered herself to the floor and curled up next to Seth as the Saturnian's voice faded. A disturbing yet comforting thought flitted through her mind before she lost consciousness: At least if this is how I die, I'll die painlessly in my sleep.

When Seth awoke, the first thing he noticed was the stinging sensation on his cheek. Actually, the whole side of his face felt oddly numb. He tried to think: Did he say something to upset T.J.? Did she slap him? If so, she packed a hell of a punch. The second thing he noticed was that he was on the floor of the Command Post. Odd, he thought. Though that would definitely explain why the one side of his face felt like it was throbbing. Much like the vacuum of space, the tile floor was harsh and unforgiving.

Space help him, T.J. would never let him hear the end of this one.

It wasn't until he sat up with a groan that he noticed the third, most important thing: his second in command curled up next to him, unconscious.

Seth had been feeling tired—no, positively drained—before, but now he was wide awake. As he examined her unconscious form, he noted how calm she appeared, almost as if she was simply dreaming, with her arm tucked under her head in lieu of a pillow. Pulse and respiration were normal, and was she...lightly snoring?

"Teej? You with me? Hey. Please wake up." He gently brushed the fringe from her eyes and ran his hand along her forehead and cheek, checking to see if she was feverish. He was grateful when she made a small sniffling sound as her eyes opened to blink away the harsh light of the Command Post.

"Seth?" she whispered, reaching to catch his hand in hers.

"Hey, you with me?"

"Yes." Her response was immediate, even as she glanced around in confusion and her surroundings came into focus. "We're in the Command Post. Did something happen? Did I pass out again?" Her eyes widened as she remembered, "You passed out. Are you alright?"

Seth helped her sit up and lean back against Harlan's post, checking her over for any obvious signs of injury. "I'm fine. What about you?"

She was still woozy, and she squinted as she tried to think through the mental fog. "Catalina was here. She seemed to know more about what was happening. I don't—" Her heart stuttered when she noticed Rosie sprawled on the floor a few feet away. She clutched Seth's hand, and he followed her gaze over to the young Mercurian.

"Rosie!" Seth scrambled to the girl's side. He attempted to check her pulse, swearing as her skin seared his fingers.

T.J. tried to stand, but fell back against the helm controls, still dizzy and nauseous as she decided to lower herself back down to the floor. "She collapsed in my arms. I couldn't help her." She hung her head. "I'm sorry, I… Seth, is she...?"

"Can't check her heart rate, but," he paused, noting the rise and fall of her chest, and sighed in relief, "she's breathing."

Tears of relief streamed down T.J.'s cheeks. "Thank heavens."

The Commander forgot himself, cradling the girl in his arms and encouraging her, "C'mon, Rosie. Wake up. You can do it. C'mon, kiddo. You're okay. Rise and shine."

For all their discussions about serving as parents to the students, T.J. wasn't certain she fully understood what it meant—how it felt —until that moment. She cared about the kids, she worried about them, but watching Seth warmly urge Rosie to open her eyes caused something inside her to finally break.

She let out the breath she'd been holding when the girl stirred and snuggled into Seth's arms, mumbling a sleepy, "Five more minutes."

"You're okay." Seth continued to hold Rosie as he turned to T.J. and flashed a reassuring smile. "She's okay."

T.J. didn't trust herself to speak. She merely nodded as her lower lip trembled.

"Commander?" Rosie inquired, smiling even in her confusion as she finally examined her surroundings. "I didn't mean to fall asleep during training. What…?"

"We don't know what happened, and it wasn't just you. We all collapsed," he explained.

Rosie was small enough that Seth was able to carry her to her post and sit her down, instructing her to use the comm to warn the others before approaching a dazed T.J. and kneeling down next to her. "Truthfully, are you okay?"

"That remains to be seen." She tried to blink back more tears and regain her composure, though her heart was still thudding in her chest. "Help me up, please?"

He carefully helped her to her feet, but she couldn't stand on her own, choosing to lean against him for support.

"Let's get you to the Med Lab," he suggested, wrapping his arms around her to steady her. T.J.'s protests fell on deaf ears as he did a double take and stared at the helm controls. "The sword. It's gone." He groaned in frustration. "Thelma!"

The android appeared with a dutiful, "Yes, Commander?"

"What the hell is going on around here? Why did we pass out? Where are the others?"

"The anesthetic gasses from Dram's cryopod leaked into the Christa's air systems. I was able to work with Radu to fix the imbalance, however it will take more time for the atmosphere on all decks to stabilize." Thelma twitched oddly and added, "And I regret to inform you that we are sold out of corn muffins."

T.J. chose to ignore the non sequitur, insisting, "We need to find the rest of the children and Dram immediately."

"Med Lab for you," Seth argued. "You still look pretty out of it."

"I will be fine," T.J. reassured him. Turning to Thelma, she asked, "Where are the others?"

"Bova is currently asleep in his bunk. Radu, Harlan, Catalina, and Dram are all in or near the Engine Room."

"Commander, I can get an antigrav gurney and meet you there," Rosie offered.

"Good. Go."

"And I shall make sure Bova is fully recharged," Thelma declared with a dutiful nod.

Rosie crossed paths with Radu in the Med Lab; when she went to retrieve the gurney, she found him depositing a groggy Harlan onto the exam chair. The Earther urged them on to meet the others, and the two younger students reported to their commanding officers outside the Engine Room, guiding an antigrav gurney between them.

Seth held his breath and touched the access crystal. The doors parted, revealing Catalina crumpled on the floor and Dram sprawled out and facing the far wall, with his sword a few feet away. Seth's instinct was to run to Catalina, but he held himself back and quickly surveyed the scene. When and how exactly had Dram reclaimed his weapon? There was no blood that he could see—thank Space, no evidence of stab wounds—but something was wrong.

Rosie and T.J. tended to Catalina, while Radu stood next to the Commander, glancing between the two unconscious crew members. Dram was a member of their crew now—a member of their family—Seth realized, and he found himself cautiously inching toward him.

Radu narrowed his eyes in concentration. "Commander? I can't… I can't hear his..."

His heartbeat.

"It'll be okay, Radu." Seth quickly moved to the elderly man's side to tend to him and block him from view. Over his shoulder, he added, "Go on, help the others with Cat."

Catalina's resting heart rate and breathing were normal, but she was still out cold. Radu lifted her onto the gurney at Rosie's instruction, and they headed for the Med Lab. T.J. turned to Seth, and what she saw made her stop in her tracks.

"No," she whispered, stepping closer on unsteady legs. "No, no, no. Tell me he isn't…"

She made the mistake of looking at Dram's face. Earlier, his eyes had sparkled with intuitive knowledge and kindness. Now they were wide, glazed over, with no light behind them.

No. No, no, no.

She couldn't let this happen. She couldn't freeze up again. She had to save him. She dropped to her knees and positioned her trembling hands over his sternum, linking her fingers together and shifting her weight over her arms.

"Teej, stop." Seth's voice was flat, detached, so unlike him.

"We have. To do. Something," she said for what felt like the thousandth time that day as she began chest compressions.

Seth wrapped his arms around her from behind and hauled her to her feet. She fought him, struggling to break free as she cursed him and barked orders to let her go.

"Teej, it's too late. There's nothing we can do," he told her, also what felt like the thousandth time that day.

"You don't know that!"

"Teej, stop!" he pleaded as he tightened his grip on her. Jeez, she was strong! "He's dead," he stated, bluntly, and she finally stopped fighting him as his words rang in her ears. "He's gone cold. I don't know how long we were out for, but he's been like this for a while. CPR isn't going to help."

T.J.'s legs gave out from under her, and Seth held on tightly, supporting her and embracing her as she wept.

"It's dumb," Catalina had said. "Forming attachments is dumb."

"We have to do something," T.J. repeated as her entire being trembled. Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, she looked away from Dram and turned in Seth's arms to cry on his shoulder. "We cannot just…"

"I know." Seth absentmindedly rubbed circles on her back as he stared at the old man in a daze. He tried to blink back his own tears, but they fell instead. "I know."

"We have to move him. Somewhere."

"I know."

"He deserves better."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know."

Seth called for Thelma, ordering her to take Dram back to his cryopod in preparation for a funeral. He and T.J. walked to the Med Lab hand-in-hand, refusing to let go until they reached their destination. Seth stood back and swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched T.J. perch on the edge of the exam chair, holding Catalina's hand and stroking her hair as Rosie monitored the girl's vitals.

"She was exposed to more of the gas than the rest of us," Rosie explained. "Her blood oxygen level was a little low, so I put her on supplemental for a few minutes before you got here. Her level's back where it should be now. She'll be fine."

T.J. nodded, accepting the explanation. "We will need to ask her what she remembers. Goodness, we need to tell her what happened if she does not already know. She needs someone to stay with her, to be here for her." More quietly, she added, "for moral support."

"I'll stay," Rosie offered. "Harlan and Radu have been wanting to see her. But all we can really do right now is wait for her to wake up, so I told them I'd let them know when she was conscious."

"They should be here," T.J. decided, "if they wish to be."

Seth cleared his throat, and T.J. looked up at him quizzically. He tilted his head toward the doorway, and T.J. reluctantly left Catalina's bedside to follow him into the hallway, finding Harlan and Radu eagerly waiting on the other side of the door.

"I-is she awake?" Radu asked.

"Can we see her?" Harlan wondered, peering around Seth.

"She's not awake yet." He glanced at T.J. before adding, "But you can both go in if you want to wait there."

Harlan thanked them both before hurrying inside to get an update from Rosie. Radu licked his lips nervously and nodded, hesitant to enter.

"She's going to be fine," Seth reassured him.

"Rosie had a, uh, a mask on her earlier. Is… How, um, how does she look now?" he wondered.

T.J. inhaled sharply, stunned by the question's implications. "She looks healthy. She is healthy. She just needs some rest."

"G-good," Radu declared. "Good."

"Radu, if you want to talk…"

"Thanks. Thank you. I just want to forget about it for now, if, um, if that makes sense. If it's okay. Is that okay? That's...that's normal, right? I don't want to be…"

"It's not disrespectful, if that's what you're worried about," Seth finished the young man's thought. "That reaction is perfectly normal. Just let me know if you change your mind: if there's anything you want to talk about, whenever you're ready."

"I will. Thank you."

Radu brushed past the two adults to join Harlan in the Med Lab. T.J. let out the breath she'd been holding, and the second the door shut behind Radu, she turned toward Seth, who was already reaching for her. Neither was certain who the hug was for, so they silently, separately yet simultaneously, decided it was for both of them.

"You were right," Seth whispered, shaking his head. "You were right to worry. Again. And I didn't listen. Again. I'm sorry."

T.J. disagreed, "You had your priorities in line, and I did not. I was focused on the long-term worst-case scenario. You are always focused on the more immediate concerns."

"But you were right."

"I gain no joy from being right in cases where the worst-case scenario ends up being the immediate concern."

"But Radu saw … and you saw… God, Teej, you'll remember ..."

"Catalina may have witnessed the entire thing," T.J. deflected, pulling back slightly. "And we do not know what Harlan or Rosie were able to discern in the commotion. This is the first time… I do not imagine the children have witnessed something like this before today. I pray they haven't. Goodness, what do we do now?"

"What you said earlier," Seth decided. "We continue navigating the kids through deep space, through adolescence, through loss, through life. More specifically, we wait for Cat to wake up and we remain supportive as we break the news to her. We can have a short ceremony to honor Dram and pay our respects. We can talk to the kids about what happened." Seth cleared his throat. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

T.J. fought against her mind as it attempted to force the memory upon her. "I saw you next to him. He looked… It was a bit of an out of body experience for me. I suppose I acted on instinct."

Seth just nodded, still wondering about her headspace when she sprang into action and attempted to revive the old man. T.J.'s fight or flight responses seemed inconsistent at best. But she was intelligent and fiercely protective, and Seth knew that they were all in good hands with her.

"I'm proud of you," he declared.

"I don't know that I've done anything to deserve that praise, but thank you all the same."

"I failed to prevent what happened today. And I failed to prevent you and the kids from seeing it when it did happen. But you were right there trying to help in any way you could. Your instincts are good ones, Teej. Don't doubt yourself." Seth thought back to when he saw her unconscious on the floor of the Command Post, and even before then when she appeared to be fading away before his eyes. There were so many things he wanted to say, but what came out was, "I'm still glad it's you out here with us. And I know it seems like things are really bad sometimes. But if I had the opportunity to pick my second in command instead of leaving it to chance, it would still be you. I don't know if you'd want the job, but…"

"It would have always been me, remember?" T.J. blushed and struggled to find the right words as she confessed, "There are times when I am not certain this entire voyage was left to chance. I think it would always be you, me, and the children out here one way or another."

"What do you mean, exactly?"

"Obviously there is only so much we can anticipate. But…" She bit her lip and gazed down the corridor, distracted. "I don't know. Some things just seem inevitable."

"Hey." Seth gently nudged her. "You with me?"

"Yes," she answered even though her concentration was elsewhere. "Forgive me. The day seems to have taken a lot out of me."

"You should go take some time for yourself to rest, then."

"But we need to be there for—"

"I know you want to be there for Cat, but it looks like you can barely keep your eyes open. Maybe Rosie should scan you and make sure you've fully recovered."

"No, there is no need for that."

Seth masked his worry with a direct and somewhat flippant, "Any particular reason you've been avoiding a med scan all day?"

"I have not been avoiding one, I simply do not find one necessary. I am just emotionally drained right now, and I do not know how much help I will be if I start crying in front of the students. I will check on Bova and then ask Thelma about any necessary engine repairs before retiring to my quarters."

Seth frowned at her. "Engine repairs?"

T.J. hung her head. "I pieced together what happened to Dram. How he… The burn marks were faint, but they were there. I do not know why he did what he did. I assume he was simply confused."

Seth sighed. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice. Not to say I didn't think you would. I was just hoping to at least spare you that."

The doors opened behind them, and T.J. and Seth instantly jumped apart and turned to see Harlan approach.

"She's starting to wake up!" the young Earther announced happily before retreating back into the room.

T.J. glanced inside to see Catalina begin to stir, but all she could think about was her CPR training and Catalina staring lifelessly at the ceiling instead of Dram. All it would take would be a simple mistake during routine maintenance, and...

"I'm sorry. I really do think I need to decompress," T.J. said, trying to rid her mind of the newest batch of worst case scenarios. "You go. Please let me know if Catalina wishes to have a small service, and I will attend. But I just need to…"

"Take care of yourself," Seth said kindly. "You've been taking care of everyone else. You need some time so you don't burn out. But please let me know if you need anything."

T.J. nodded and thanked Seth before heading down the corridor as she heard Rosie announce, "I think she's coming around!" and Seth add, "Welcome back to the land of the living." His comment gave her pause, and she stopped in her tracks, blinking back the intrusive thoughts yet again, before taking a deep breath and continuing on her way.