A/N: Here's this weeks chapters! 4 of them! 2 of them are really long! I really hope you all enjoy the cute Rem moments in these, they are some of my favorite.

Chapter 50: Cleanup

Experiencing the same sensation he was used to when waking up, this time, because it was the same as when he'd fallen asleep, YN had no sense of time.

Awaking with Rem's fingers still gently stroking his hair, he still felt a soft presence under his head. Noticing the morning light coming in, a small panic filled him, a guilty emotion.

YN: A-Ah, Rem?

With his voice halfway between being groggy and halfway through surprise, he croaked out his words.

I-Its morning! Did Rem seriously give me a lap pillow all night?

Turning his head on the soft location it still rested on, YN looked around in hopes that wasn't true. Flipping, he had his vision filled with blue. Having turned his head fully, there was Rem.

Wah—! Hm!

Before he was able to voice his surprise, something stopped his lips. However, he remembered this feeling.

Pulling away from his lips, Rem's own returned to a full and bright smile.

Rem: Good morning, YN-kun.

Still simply relieved that she hadn't given a lap pillow all night, YN sighed.

YN: Ah, Rem, you scared me. But yes, good morning to you too.

Closing one eye, Rem teased him slightly.

Rem: Did YN-kun not expect his morning kiss?

YN: No, but that's not what it was.

Sitting up, Rem did also.

Patting the pillow his head had been resting on, YN seemed to convince himself that was indeed what he had slept on.

YN: The second I saw the morning sun and felt your fingers on my head, I thought you'd stayed here all night giving me a lap pillow.

Smiling warmly at the idea, Rem leaned in and hugged him.

Rem: As tempted as Rem was to, she did eventually need to sleep herself.

Hugging the oni back, YN felt somewhat comforted by that notion.

YN: Maybe I can hopefully do something that special for you, too.

Remembering his intentions, it was all YN could do to keep the idea a surprise.

Reluctantly releasing YN, Rem stood and walked over to the window. Opening the curtains, she turned back around.

Rem: I spoke with Nee-sama before getting her up this morning, it doesn't look like you'll be performing any outside duties today.

With this being news to YN, he was somewhat surprised.

Rem: Nee-sama decided that instead, since most of the kitchen was used yesterday during Dias-sama's visit, it will need a thorough cleaning.

YN: Oh.

Unsure what this was leading to, it did seem like a rather odd thing for Rem to start out by saying.

Rem: And since Nee-sama and Rem will be busy with other areas of the mansion today, she has assigned the duty of cleaning the kitchen to YN-kun.

At first seeing this as a hindrance to his plans to make dinner for Rem, YN then realized the brilliance of Ram's plan.

Perking up slightly to the idea, YN nodded his head.

YN: Yeah, that sounds like something I can do.

Clapping her hands together, Rem was satisfied with YN's answer.

Rem: If YN-kun needs any help, Rem will be more than happy to come join him. But for now, YN-kun should get ready for breakfast, Rem wants to try her hand at cooking for the first time since having shadowed Dias-sama. She is sure YN-kun will want to praise Rem endlessly for her breakfast.

Departing from his room after blowing him another kiss from the door, YN readied himself with a clue Ram had prepared a plan where he had forgotten to.

Praising Rem for what he thought was her usual stellar cooking, YN was pulled aside by Ram following breakfast.

YN: So uh, the kitchen needs cleaning, right? Or was that just a cover so I can—

Ram: No, the kitchen does in fact need cleaning.

Oh.

Ram: —But you'll have to do that after you're through cooking for Rem. Barasu has already dropped off the bag of tometos so you should be able to start.

Walking over to where there was a pile of ingredients left out from Dias-blah-blah-blah's cooking, YN looked around and quickly realized the kitchen was still a massive mess.

YN: I think I might clean before I start making anything. This place is still seriously wrecked.

Ram: Unfortunately Rem and I weren't left with much time last night to properly clean the entire kitchen in one sitting, but you're fortunate Ram had thought to give you this task.

Responding as bluntly as he could, YN began his clean up preemptively.

YN: Lucky me then.

Shrugging at his sarcastic remark, Ram responded.

Ram: Does YN have a better idea of how he should go about finding time to work on this with the guarantee that Rem wouldn't walk in on him?

Remembering that he hadn't come up with a plan for this at all, he knew Ram was right, he had deduced that earlier.

YN: But how do you know Rem won't come by? According to you, she watches me all the time.

Ram: Because Ram and her will be working a set of rather demanding tasks today that will leave us both with almost no time to ourselves.

Crossing her arms and closing her eyes declaring her plan as fact, Ram looked at YN with the corner of her visible eye once more.

Ram: And before you ask, yes, Ram will also be working alongside Rem, if only to make sure she stays occupied. Which is why cleaning the kitchen will be YN's responsibility, to make for the fact Ram will be most tired after today.

Seeing that her intentions weren't entirely to YN's benefit, her rationale at least made more sense now in regard to why she had set things up as she did.

Setting about cleaning the kitchen, Ram was departing, but as she did, she stopped in the doorway.

Ram: Please try and make sure you don't burn the mansion down, Roswaal-sama would hate to lose this one.

'This one?!' You mean there's more?

Before he could get a reply to his unasked question, Ram left YN to his devices.

YN: Ack, screw it, I'll clean it first, that way I can at least familiarize myself with the facilities. I don't want to accidentally give Rem food poisoning.

Truth be told, the twins never let the kitchen get bad, but it appeared Dias-blah-blah-blah's extravagant cooking had led to a greasy film on most of the countertops and floor, not unlike the one that was on her assistant's head.

What I could give for some grease-cutting dish soap about now.

Getting the kitchen as clean as was realistically plausible given he was just going to make it dirty again, YN was set to begin the process of actually making the tometo based sauce.

Taking one out of the bag, YN set the red morsel on a cutting tray.

Given everyone seems to get squeamish when I say I'm using these for a sauce, maybe I should try a bite and see if they taste like how a normal tomato should.

Taking a chef's knife from the block, YN cut a slice of one, and promptly taste-tested it.

Hmm, I mean, they kinda taste similar, but I can't tell if that's because of how ripe or unripe these are, or if it's an actual difference...

Figuring there wasn't anything to-it-but-to-do-it, YN pulled up a recipe on his phone and followed along on the instructions.

With it getting close to the evening, he followed the instructions of the recipe closely. Never before had he been so sure that he diced everything as it should be diced, boiled everything to the perfect temperature and time, and stirred things just as they should be.

Taking his first taste test, YN blew on his ladle before taking a bit from it.

YN: *Smack* *Smack* It's a bit... bland.

Briefly wondering if he had boiled something for too long or let the sauce sautée for too long, he retreated back to his phone to look at the recipe.

Oh the next part is the spices...

Looking over the list, YN saw it should be simple enough. Going to the spice rack, YN opened the cabinet to reveal a sight of many jars, all labeled and filled to different amounts of variously colored powders, dried leaves, and roots.

Doing his best to read the names on each, that's when it hit YN.

Oh man, these are something else.

While YN's experience with this world's different foods having been slight spelling changes and occasional slight taste changes, with the exception being solt for salt and peppa for pepper, spices just seemed to be all over the place.

These look nothing like how they smell too...

Taking small bits of sauce out, YN tried first with spices that looked familiar, or maybe had a more familiar name.

Mixing them in the ratio the recipe called for, YN took his first seasoned bite.

YN: Bleh!

Wiping his mouth on his sleeve, YN recoiled from his own creation.

YN: That's nothing how it should be.

Trying more and different combinations, each time YN failed. From spitting out the concoctions to just being mildly unpleasant, each attempt was a bust. Finally, getting tired of wasting what could be expensive amounts of spice, he accepted his defeat.

YN: I'm going to need outside help.

Coming to conclusion, there was really only one person he could ask as well.

Covering up his creation in case she came by, YN put away the spices and hid the pot filled with the red sauce under a counter.

Leaving the kitchen, he set about finding the one person who might be able to help.

Heading up the stairs to one of the upper floors that was seldom used, YN quickly pinpointed where the person he needed to find was currently at.

Seeing an entire manner of furniture moved out into the hallway, it was clear whatever room this was, was currently getting a deep clean. As the late-mid day sun shined through the window just across from the entrance of the room, dust could be seen floating in the air catching the light as it hazily dispersed from the doorway.

Poking his head inside the room, YN found who he was looking for.

While the dust in the air was much thicker in the room, it was easy to see just how barren the room looked in its current state. It was a room not unlike the one they had held the snow festival party in, but was much smaller, as if it were for more private events.

YN: Nee-sama.

Whilst pushing what appeared to be a mop across the hardwood floor, the maid in question looked up to see her visitor.

Without reply, she merely tilted head, prompting YN to realize she had acknowledged his presence.

YN: Uhh, where's Rem?

Ram: She's currently outside, beating the dust from the rugs that furnished this room.

YN: Must have been pretty dusty in here then...

Ram: Yes, this room came to our attention when Beatrice-sama had decided to use her door crossing in an attempt to keep Barasu away. Little to say, he did eventually get this door open, although it was heavily stuck with age.

YN: Jeez, how long ago was the last time this room was cleaned?

Ram: Considerably.

Taking Ram's guess at the extent of time, YN scratched the back of his head, feeling the dust begin to settle on his head.

Ram: So what brings YN up here? Is what you've made for Rem almost done?

YN: Almost, I've just run into one problem and I need your help with it.

Patting her dress of the dust that had fallen on it, Ram set the mop against the door frame and obliged to assist.

Ram: Fine, but it must be quick. If Rem returns and doesn't see her Nee-sama where she left her, she will come looking for her.

With that, the two descended the steps to return to the kitchen.

Ram: — — —

YN: W-What is it?

Having lifted the lid off the pot YN was making the tometo sauce in, Ram was silent as she looked down upon it.

Still not saying anything, Ram simply pointed down at the concoction, as if confirming it was in fact this that YN had made.

YN: Y-Yeah, that's it.

Still eyeing the sauce with suspicion, Ram picked up the ladle, filling its cup with the red mixture. Bringing it above the top of the pot, she let the contents she held splash back into the mixture, as if getting an idea for its consistency.

Looking at YN with the corner of her visible eye, a look of doubt filled her expression.

Ram: Is this what YN had in mind when he set out to make this?

YN: Y-yeah! It's just, it tastes a bit, uhh, bland...

Putting a smaller amount of the sauce back into the ladle, Ram poured a small amount onto the back of her wrist, and tasted it herself.

Ram: 'Bland' would be a compliment for this. It's utterly tasteless.

YN: T-that's the problem! The spices the recipe calls for don't seem to exist here...

Tilting her head at what YN said, he realized he had misspoke.

Ram: 'Exist?' Is this some sort of recipe from a fairy tale or something?

YN: U-Uh no! They just seem to either be rare or called something else locally...

Putting a hand on her hip, Ram shrugged.

Ram: Possibly the latter. First you called 'solt' and 'peppa' something slightly different, and it was the same for 'tometo' too—

Looking back over to the pot in question, Ram gave the sauce another look of suspension.

Ram: —And you still mean to tell me this is supposed to go with a noodle like pasta?

Only nodding at her skepticism, worried what conclusion she may draw from these repeated instances, Ram sighed.

Why is the idea of a tometo sauce so hard for her to comprehend!

Ram: Do you have a list of the spices you need?

Rambling off the list on his phone, the odd names did continue to make her expression portray more and more confusion.

Going to open the spice cupboard, Ram mulled over the various ones the mansion had in stock, reading their names and trying to find close matches. Any matches really. Finally shrugging and setting them all back inside, Ram sighed in frustration with her hands on her hip.

Ram: YN and Barasu most certainly must come from a rather far and strange land. What odd names for spices...

Letting her suspicions be at rest, and allowing YN to breathe a sigh of relief from her coming to any 'out-of-this-world' conclusions, Ram set about helping the clueless YN in a more constructive way.

Ram: Well, Ram supposes since you're entirely unfamiliar with common spices, you'll just need to describe the taste and she'll try to season it effectively.

Grabbing a few of the spice jars back out of the cupboard, she lined a few up, as if in order of how to try them.

Ram: —Now then, I assume this is supposed to be sweet sauce?

YN: Wha—? Huh? No. I'd say savory if anything...

Raising an eyebrow to what he said as if she hadn't expected that answer, Ram again took the jars she had set out and put them back away again, grabbing different ones.

With Ram trying different combinations of added spices and YN taste-testing, the two quickly went through their options.

Ram: —and you're certain it needs to taste this way? That it's even cooked correctly?

YN: Pretty sure, I'd say.

Beginning to wonder if the difference between tomatoes and tometos was how they paired with spices, YN was close to being worried there was a simple chemical incompatibility until—

Ram: YN... Are you sure this sauce is supposed to be red?

Putting a hand to her chin, Ram seriously considered the error of something YN knew to be a universal truth.

YN: I mean, yeah? That's the same color as a tometo so—

Ram: No, after you season it.

Shaking his head, his answer seemed to have gone unnoticed by Ram, who had turned to grab another jar from the spice cupboard.

Returning with a larger jar filled with a finely ground yellow powder, Ram dumped a considerable amount straight into the pot.

Putting his hands to the side of his head, YN couldn't believe what Ram had just done, he was speechless. Watching in horror as the maid stirred the yellow spice into the red sauce, the concoction turned a district, but dull hue of orange.

YN: R-Ram... That was all the tometo we had! I can't make any more of this now! I don't know what I'm supposed to— hmph!

While voicing his concerns to her, Ram had calmly taken one of their testing spoons and dipped it into a ladle full she had just stirred up. Cutting him off by suddenly sticking the spoonful into his mouth, YN was made to taste the final result of Ram's mixture.

Taking the spoon in his own hand, YN let the flavor be judged by himself.

YN: *Smack* *Smack*

Silent for a moment longer, Ram put her hands on her hips, as if becoming inpatient to YN's prolonged judgment.

Looking up and away while answering, he gave his opinion.

YN: Ya know... That ain't bad. It's not quite what it's supposed to be, but it's almost better.

Ram: But will it work?

Shrugging at the maid, YN couldn't really deny her.

YN: At this point, it's going to have to.

Referring back to again the risk Ram had just taken by adding right to the main batch of the sauce, and just how much she had added too, YN would have never taken such a gamble.

Setting the ladle back into the pot, Ram brushed her hands on her apron.

Ram: That's resolved then. Now, Ram must return back upstairs should Rem finish with the rugs.

YN: Oh, before you go.

Stopping the pink haired maid halfway through the door to the kitchen, YN grabbed one of disposable white kitchen linens used to clean up messes.

Ripping it in half, corner to corner, he handed the two ripped pieces to Ram.

YN: You two should wear these around your face if you're going to be around that much dust, it isn't the best thing to be breathing in.

Looking at the two rags she was being handed, Ram took them.

YN: It isn't much, but they might help you not have a bad cough later this week.

Ram: Ram will make sure Rem gets hers.

Going to leave, Ram turned back once more.

Ram: When everything is complete, let Ram know, she'll assist from there.

YN: Gotcha. Thanks again, Nee-sama.

With the pink haired maid having departed, YN knew what needed to be done next. Putting a fist into his palm, he readied himself for the easy part.

YN: Alright, now for the noodles.

Getting a new pot and filling it with water, YN set it over the heat.

YN: I should probably prep the—

YN stopped. Frozen in place. He couldn't move.

His mind was blank, his body refused his commands. Stuck, mid-turn away from the pot he had just set up to boil, YN realized he had made a critical mistake.

I...

Feeling his heart sink, YN wanted to yell to the heavens.

YN: I...

Patting his back pocket that still contained the necklace he had bought for Rem with all his money, YN knew he had messed up.

YN: I... —!

Putting his hands on his head and spinning back around to his empty pot of boiling water, YN exclaimed the fault of his ways.

YN: I forgot to buy the noodles!

For the next hour YN was scrambling through his phone, trying to find a recipe for noodles. Pouring through his educational app, he found nothing. Finally sighing, locking his phone, and putting it back into his pocket, he rubbed his hands on his face in frustration.

YN: I seriously can't believe I forgot to buy the noodles. How stupid am I?

The only thing he could rationalize was that he was too tunnel visioned on finding Rem her gift. Trying to brainstorm what he should do next, YN racked his mind for any solution.

If I had my car it would be as easy as driving down to the village and picking some up like take out.

Knowing going to the village was out of the question, and he had no way of making any on his own, YN truly seemed to be out of options.

I can't ask Ram for help again either, she's way too busy and I have no idea what she'd think of me if I forgot something so crucial...

Seeing it was getting later and later, he knew he'd have to give up the kitchen soon for Ram to cook dinner for everyone other then himself and Rem, YN lamented over the idea of causing a holdup.

Since it'll be Ram cooking, it looks like everyone else will be eating steamed tatoes... Subaru won't be happy—

Hearing the name in his mind, a sudden idea of triumph grew in YN's mind. Smacking his fist into his palm, he exclaimed his idea aloud.

YN: Subaru!

Rushing out the kitchen the door, out the dining hall, and up the stairs, YN hoped he knew where to find his fellow wayward traveler turned coworker.

Nearly breaking a vase rounding a corner going down the upstairs hallway, YN came to a familiar door.

Flinging the door open, YN was struck to find Subaru's room was empty, absent of its single resident. Almost not noticing the window was open, right as he went to close the door and look elsewhere, he heard what sounded like distant familiar laughter.

Walking over to the window, YN looked out to see the person he was looking for, entertaining himself with the unmistakable half elf that was their employer's sponsor.

He must have seen her outside here and hollered out to her and went running down so quick he forgot to shut the window.

Knowing he had little time to waste, YN slammed the window shut, and ran downstairs to the back lawn to make contact.