A/N: This was one of the key chapters I really wanted to write for this arc. I really enjoyed writing about Rem's impact here and I hope you all enjoy it.
Chapter 93: From Twin to Only Child
Ears ringing and body aching, it took what felt like all of his remaining strength to spit the dirt from his mouth. Taking deep, labored breaths, YN's poor senses slowly returned to him, as did his consciousness.
It was dark, and all around him it seemed there was a thick haze. Flipping to his back, he tried to look upward, but all that remained was more of the same haze. He couldn't tell if this was his own vision, or the actual reality of the world around him.
But as he looked up, the haziness seemed to twinkle over to his side. Forcing his head to look, it appeared as if a light was shining upward, and instinctively he rolled over to its direction.
It was beaming straight up from the ground, pointed up towards the heavens, however, the tall grass of the plains concealed the source of this light.
Pulling himself forward, one arm and leg at a time, YN groaned in pain as he crawled towards the light. Fist after desperate fist, he clawed his way closer until—
YN: It's...
Facing upward, was his own phone, the flashlight remaining on. Seeing it so casually thrown to the side, the last few moments of his more recent bout with consciousness re-entered his weary mind, and with it, the last thing he'd seen illuminated.
No... No! Rem! Where is—?!
?(muffled): YN-kun!
Calling out, was a voice he knew well. Better than any other voice. It was the one voice he wanted to hear the most right now.
Rem: YN-kun! Thank goodness.
Dropping to her knees, Rem looked over his battered and bruised body.
YN: Rem... Are— hk! Are you alright?
Wincing in pain from just speaking up, Rem nodded to him.
Rem: Yes. Does YN-kun require any immediate healing?
Somewhat caught off guard by how calm her tone was, yet hearing and seeing the urgency she otherwise had, YN answered her nonetheless.
YN: No... I'm good for now, but... What... What about that eye?
Rem: The White Whale it seems has descended upon the highway, just like what occurred in YN-kun's last loop.
YN: The White Whale... Does it really come this early?
Shaking her head, Rem replied as best as she could.
Rem: Rem only knows as much as her YN-kun does. Perhaps while the Highway was set to close much later in the day, the actual appearance of the Whale was long before.
Looking over her shoulder as she said that, concerned if the Whale had given up the chase yet or not, Rem snapped back to the reality before her.
Rem: B-But is YN-kun sure he is fine? No broken bones?
YN: No... —hk! Just sore and really fatigued...
Rem: That will unfortunately happen if you try to force magic while your Gate is stagnant. However, this may be to Rem's own selfish benefit.
YN: Huh?
Confused on what she meant by that, Rem picked up the one who held her heart like a prince would carry their damsel in distress.
YN: Rem, what about the Whale? Did my Jiwald do anything to—
Rem: The Whale is currently hunting Otto-sama it would seem, although YN-kun did seem to damage its vision. Rem can still recall his name so it is unlikely it has caught him yet.
YN: You can still remember his name?
Not asking her so much that literal question, YN more so asked what she had meant by this as well.
Rem is acting strange...
While the thought of Otto running, terrified for his life across the grassy plain from the megafauna that was the Whale visualized itself in his mind, Rem conveyed her understanding of this "vanishing ability" it utilized.
Rem: YN-kun has surely noticed it by now. While he is capable of remembering other merchants where Otto-sama and even Rem herself could not, YN-kun only noticed the discrepancies as the fog began to grow thicker.
Putting two and two together, YN surmised what Rem was getting at.
YN: You're saying the Whale uses the mist to erase people?
Surprised to think of such a thing even being possible, he was stunned to say the least.
Rem: It would appear so. Why YN-kun is capable of remembering the victims though, that may be related to the fact his memories persist past Death as well. That is the only thing Rem can believe is the key difference between him and anyone else when it comes to remembering events that are either no longer, or have not yet occurred.
Fully realizing just how much of a dangerous foe it was based on its abilities alone, Rem continued onward with YN in her arms. But in one hand though, she held his still lit up phone, holding it in a way to keep the light from shining out.
As he looked down, where Rem had begun to walk was covered in the splintery remains of the wooden ground dragon carriage they had been on.
That damn Whale... Not only can it erase you, it's also massively strong... To destroy an entire carriage in one slap...
YN: Rem... Should we not run while we have the chance then? Or maybe even hide? Rem, we should—
Rem: —Rem must reiterate that what she is about to do is very selfish, but she left with no other choice.
As she said these words, a silhouette in the mist appeared, and drawing closer, Rem pointed the light of the phone at it.
Green in color, and staying stationary with no intent to move unless ordered, was the four legged ground dragon that had been pulling Otto's carriage.
Without so much as an explanation, Rem sat YN up on top of the dragon.
YN: Wait Rem, shouldn't you get on first while I sit behind? I don't know how to ride a—
Taking what remained of the driver's reins, Rem tied them around YN's straddled legs and torso, firmly securing him on the small saddle that was on the ground dragon's back.
YN: Rem?
Feeling his wrists be bound in place as well, his current fatigue was so great it prohibited him from resisting even slightly.
YN: What—? Rem, what are you—?
Rem: These are not tied as secure as Rem can make them. Once YN-kun's strength returns, he should have no problem freeing himself.
'Freeing myself?!' What is she getting on about—?
Rem: It is fortunate YN-kun's strength is missing, because now he cannot protest what it is Rem must do.
With a visible pain in her one exposed eye, the stillness of the night air and the humidity of the mist made the impact of her words much greater.
YN: Rem... what do you mean?
Becoming worried, YN felt his heart begin to race with anxiety.
Rem: If YN-kun is killed, he Returns to life once Subaru-kun has also perished... Has YN-kun thought what would happen if the Whale's mist erased his existence rather than killing him? Would he still Return?
YN: — — —
Coming to the realization he didn't know, and couldn't say for certain what the consequences of that would be, he lacked an answer for her.
Rem: Although it pains Rem to leave his side, she will be much more pained should she live in a world where she cannot remember her YN-kun.
With a tear running down her cheek, the smallest of breezes pushed her bangs slightly to show both of her eyes turning to azure colored pools of water.
YN: No... No-no, no. Rem, we—, together—!
Rem: —Rem must be selfish and secure the opportunity for another [Rem] to have a happy future with her YN-kun...
Smiling through immense heartbreak as she said that, she leaned in, standing on her tiptoes, and gently kissed his cheek.
YN: Wait! Rem! Please...
Rem: Because YN-kun will still remember his Rem, she is not afraid of being forgotten once she falls.
YN: No! Rem you're not falling victim to the Whale as well! We can run together! If it's still chasing Otto you don't need to play decoy!
Rem: — — —
Silent in reply to his plea, Rem rather let the phone emerge from her possession, and let its light shine out brightly, signaling her location.
Rem: Rem can only assume 'Otto' is the name of the last person the Whale was chasing. Since she cannot recall it, that means it is time for her to act, so that YN-kun can escape.
Signaling that Otto was now the latest victim of the Whale's mist, a more refined panic entered YN's mind.
YN: Rem no! Please! I'm begging you!
Rem: Please forgive Rem, but all she asks is that YN-kun remembers her. —That he'll remember this Rem. As the Rem who made sure he will not be erased from the heart of the [Rem] who will one day grow old with her YN-kun, and share together a happy future with him.
Running her hand through his hair, Rem savored one last intimate feeling of the one who held her heart.
—'m t-tired all of a sudden...
Compounding his fatigue, Rem's magic lulled him to rest as she had done before to him.
Rem: Rem wants her YN-kun to know, that more than anything...
Whispering into his ear, Rem seemed to struggle to find the words, and seemed to change what she originally had planned to say.
Rem: —t-that more than anything, she would like YN-kun to take care of Nee-sama.
With her words trailing off, failing to say what she wished she could, she slapped the rear leg of the ground dragon, forcing it to run off and away with the one she sought to save on its back.
No...! Rem...
As the last thing he consciously heard was the rattle of rusty pipes and chains, YN knew Rem was marching off to the battle she could not win.
Passing out, the ground dragon hurried along with him being shaken about until its Divine Protection activated, giving his unconscious body a smoother ride.
But standing and facing her foe, Rem let the light of the phone shine out, taunting the one she needed to distract. Standing still for a moment, knowing she was attracting it to her, she reflected on the words she could not muster herself to say.
It would not have been fair to YN-kun for this Rem, the Rem he will remember that let him be saved from the Whale, be the one to say her true feelings to him.
Crying out as it hovered high above her, now making itself known, the Whale drew close, and so did Rem's final fight. Manifesting her horn, Rem leaped into combat, and as she did, she finished her self reflection, content on her own specific place in YN's heart.
Rem: To say those words, that privilege is for another [Rem].
Sacrificing herself for the one she loved, Rem entered her final ballad against the White Whale.
Slowly but surely, YN began to rouse once more from his unconscious state.
He could feel the morning sunshine lightly dancing on the other side of his closed eyes, taunting him that his rest was soon to be over.
Stretching his arms and legs out, the sensation of freshly laundered sheets was a cool and smooth feeling, and the sweet scent of recently cut flowers wafted about the room he was in.
While his body remembered waking up like this many times in the past, his most recent style of waking in the morning was not like this anymore.
Always, ■■■ had been one to wake before he did, and in her long, flowing blue nightgown that so perfectly paired with her azure hair and eyes, would lay on top of the covers of YN's bed. From there she would gently run her fingers through his hair, letting the sensation of her touch be the thing to wake him up.
As he would wake up more, ■■■ would be sure to wipe away the drool that would run from his mouth as he felt the euphoria of her touch. It was one of ■■■'s favorite moments of the day, to see him so moved and enthralled by her simple presence, as well as being one of the only times she could touch him without seeing him flinch. It was always a stark reminder, seeing him react that way, but at times likes these when he didn't, it was pure bliss for ■■■.
Letting his vision clear up, YN was greeted by the ornately decorated ceiling he had woken up to many times before.
YN: ...This isn't my bed.
?: A very astute observation, perhaps YN's mind remained uninjured after all.
With a familiar voice at his bedside, YN rolled his head on the pillow to meet it.
YN: Nee-sama...
Gently shutting the book she was reading, Ram weakly smiled at him.
Ram: Ram is unsure of why you call her that, but this feels like the first time she's ever questioned it.
YN: — — —
As the reality of her words sunk in, at first it had been his instinct to question why she would say that, but guessing correctly at why that was, YN felt his heart shatter.
YN: —tch...
Choking back sobs and failing to fight the tears running down his face at the realization ■■■ was no longer in the world he existed in, YN turned his face away from Ram, knowing that out out of all the people in the entire world who knew ■■■ the best, it would be her.
Ram: —? YN? Are you experiencing pain?
Standing from her chain with alarm, Ram's voice gained an air of concern to it.
YN: — — —
Ram: Ram will fetch Emilia-sama or Beatrice-sama to heal you, so please tell her where the pain is.
Trying to get a better look at him, YN pulled the covers over his head before answering her, letting his honesty accidentally spill out.
YN: —everywhere...
Stalling her exit, Ram re-approached YN and slowly pulled the covers away from his face.
Ram: — — —
Seeing the emotion in his eyes and the sadness on his face, Ram was taken back, but quickly realized what it was.
The answer wasn't physical pain.
Something has deeply troubled him.
It was a pain so deep in his heart that he'd been moved to showing such a weakness in front of her that he could not help it.
While she couldn't understand why, she knew that was incredibly unnatural for him to do. Taking her seat once more, Ram did the only thing she felt she could do.
Feeling a familiar, but not exact sensation that had made him fall asleep before, it was in line to how he felt his wakeup routine should be.
Doing her best, and on pure instinct, Ram ran her fingers through YN's hair as her only strategy of comforting him.
Although it wasn't the same, the sensation was much needed, and effective in quelling the sorrow that was overtaking his mind.
YN: Normally it feels like you'd berate me for being so weak...
Regaining his composure as the tears subsided and his breathing calmed, Ram gave him one final stroke of his hair before sitting back up right, but keeping a soft tone to her voice.
Ram: There is no other maid in the world more kind or compassionate than Ram.
Putting herself on airs, Ram could not foresee the weight those words of lighthearted nature would have.
YN: I suppose that would be your title now, wouldn't it?
While too honest to not correct her by saying that, he also wished to return her kindness by being lighthearted in return. Yet—
Ram: ...You say that if it were only a recently acquired title.
Knowing YN knew she had only meant it as a way of lightening the mood, she could tell his response carried a weight not unrelated to his current condition.
YN: — — —
Ram: It is also unlike you to say something like that.
Ram knew that whatever was wrong with YN, had to be monumental. While she knew it was wrong for him to be acting this way, she could not think of a reason for him to be so troubled. But as for why she knew it was wrong, for some reason she could not pinpoint the reason she thought that. It was an identical feeling to her wonderment on why she had never questioned being referred to as "Nee-sama" before today.
To say the least, it baffled her.
YN: Because there's more to it than just that. —A lot more to it.
Surprised to hear him answer so stoically, Ram hesitated before replying.
Ram: Would YN care to try and explain it to Ram then?
With a glance past Ram to the open window behind her, YN watched as the wind gently blew the curtains behind her.
As the sun's warm rays illuminated the room past the guest bed, YN was reminded that under similar conditions, this was where he and ■■■ had first opened up to each other, and where they had broken ground on what would become their promise to lean on each other. Where for the first time, ■■■ would learn to rely on someone else.
But starkly contrasting the beautiful day outside, the reality of the future overshadowed it. While this day has begun bright and cheery, the darkness in his mind of what was to become of the village smothered it. And the sorrow in his heart for the one who held it shadowed it as well.
Ram: YN, did something happen?
Speaking slowly, the sorrow in his voice returned.
YN: I don't know whether to tell you if something did happen, or if what it was ever even happened.
Ram was fully aware it wasn't like YN to answer so cryptically, and hoping to get an actual answer from him, in rare form, she reached out, and took his hand.
Ram: Ram has very little strength she can offer to YN—
Confusing her mind yet again, Ram was also now unsure why it was she felt so concerned for his well-being. She trusted and wished the best for the groundskeeper, but where did this feeling stem from? She felt as if she had every reason to root for, and support him, but to what end? Ram knew herself better than anyone. So what justified these feelings?
Ram: —but please, try and help her understand.
YN: ...It's just going to sound like crazy talk.
Ram: Ram will be the judge of that.
Leaning back onto his pillow again, YN stared at the ceiling, deadpan.
YN: Ram... Rem is no longer with us.
His words to himself sounded hollow and untrue. His entire psyche refused to believe it, but his heart knew it was true, as it could not lie to him when it was about her. After a long pause, Ram remained silent and let him continue.
YN: We were trying to get back here from the Capitol, but the White Whale descended upon the Lifaus Highway. We had a whole entire merchant company with us, and every single one of them was wiped out.
Ram: Ram would think the news of an entire caravan being attacked would have reached us sooner.
YN: That's just it though. When the White Whale attacks with its mist... Those caught in it seem to be... erased from existence. No one remembers who they were, or if they were there to begin with. Even if they were standing next to you as it happened.
Looking at YN while she continued to hold his hand, Ram remained expressionless.
Ram: YN is saying the White Whale possesses the ability to alter memories.
YN: Yes... And I'm guessing since you didn't react seriously to me saying that Rem had perished...—
While it pained him immensely to realize it, he knew with certainty of ■■■'s fate.
YN: —that means you don't remember her either, do you?
While she remained expressionless, Ram was a cocktail of emotions inside herself. Why did she feel like she should be reacting more troubled to this? Should she be wailing and sobbing? Angry at the Whale? She did not know.
Ram: Ram does not know who this 'Rem' is unfortunately.
Casting his eyes down, YN bit his lip to mask the pain he felt in his chest.
It's not fair... It's not right...
YN wanted to yell and shout. He wanted to curse the idea that even to Ram, the one who ■■■ looked up to the most, the one who ■■■ idealized the most, thought not of ■■■ all of a sudden being gone, but worse; having never existed at all.
But he knew lashing out was in vain.
Letting tears fall down his face, Ram could see this was the source of his despair. Wishing to be sympathetic, but also with an air of unfounded curiosity, stemming from somewhere she couldn't pinpoint, Ram inquired further.
Ram: Who was this person?
Managing to perk him up slightly, YN blankly stared up at the ceiling before taking a deep breath.
YN: Rem was—, is your adorable, younger twin sister, and the proud head maid of this Mansion.
Turning his head to Ram, he could see she was somewhat dispositioned to hear of such a person whom she had no memory of.
YN: She was an oni, like you, but she retained her horn.
Finally seeing a look of genuine surprise on her, YN continued.
YN: No one is a better cleaner, or a cook, or a more reliable person.
Returning a grip to her hand finally, he went on.
YN: You two are nearly identical. While her hair was as blue as the sky, she styled it to copy your own. More than anyone else in the world though, she looked up to you.
Unable to keep eye contact, YN chose his words carefully for the next part.
YN: No matter how often someone might have pointed out that you were lazy, or couldn't cook well, or are rude to others, Rem would be right there to say how wonderful she thinks you are. —To say that you were so elegant in the way you did something, or that you deserved to be praised for some other action.
With a large silence building between them as Ram processed in her mind what having someone like ■■■ in her life would have been like, she finally returned her thoughts to the here and now.
Ram: And she fell victim to the Whale, is what YN is saying?
Nodding solemnly, he croaked out a response with his dry throat, remembering his and ■■■'s last moment together.
YN: She really quickly picked up that I was remembering people who she didn't, and out of fear of not wanting to forget who I was, made the decision to distract the Whale to let me escape.
Ram: It is clear you were not offered a choice in the matter.
Recalling how she'd found him, he had been restrained to the ground dragon that had wandered into the village of Arlem. With the villagers recognizing him, word had been quickly sent to the Mansion.
Ram: Had it not been for that, Ram is afraid how'd she judge you knowing you let her perish.
Hearing her say that, YN perked up more.
YN: Then, you believe me? Because if so, there's a lot more I need to say—!
Ram: YN,—
Blankly looking back at him, it seemed Ram was having a bitter argument with herself in her mind. On one hand, she wished to believe him, but on the other—
Ram: —you must understand, the things you are telling Ram are... farfetched to say the very least.
Like a piece of glass shattering, YN felt his entire heart crumple upon hearing Ram doubt ■■■'s existence. It was one thing for her to not remember her, but to deny it—
Ram: The White Whale is a well known terror throughout the lands. Its strength is immense, but this idea of it erasing those it encounters is not something that is spoken of.
YN: That makes sense though, does it not? How could anyone remember if it did or not unless—
Ram: —Unless for some reason, YN is able to, and him alone?
Realizing what this meant, YN knew he had no answer as for why only he could remember. And in truth, it wasn't so much as he couldn't tell her, but he truly was clueless as to why as well.
With more silence between them, Ram spoke up more, seeing YN was not going to answer her.
Ram: YN is aware the previous Sword Saint perished to the Whale as well, correct?
Snapping to meet her gaze, YN could hardly believe it. What shocked him the most wasn't that it had overpowered the Sword Saint, if Reinhard was anything to be compared to. No, rather—
YN: How were they not forgotten then...?
Ram: Ram is not a student of historic epics, but she is positive no one has ever mentioned the ability to erase the existence of those whose lives the Whale has taken.
YN: — — —
He couldn't believe it.
I...
He never expected anyone else to believe what he said.
It's...
He never expected anyone to understand what it was like to remember these things.
...
But he had at least hoped that somehow, Ram would believe in him.
I guess that's what makes Rem so special, isn't it?
With another new handful of tears running down his face, the idea of just how wonderful Rem was towards him beamed in his mind.
It's only her, and it's only ever going to be her, that will believe me when it comes to things like this.
While it was ■■■ who only occupied such a place in his heart with her deeds, somehow, without her even needing to do anything, it grew that much more ingrained in him.
Rem...
Feeling the grip on her hand tighten slightly more, Ram knew that YN was hurt by what her judgment could not accept. It wasn't that she wished to not believe him, but rather, Ram's personality was based on concrete ideas, something one needed to be if they were an older sibling.
Ram: Ram must apologize. YN can certainly understand that unless something can be used as undeniable proof, Ram must remain skeptical at best.
Feeling the grip on her hand subside and YN pull his away, a hint of guilt wound up in Ram's throat. But moving the hand to his neck that had held hers, YN fished around briefly below his undershirt before emerging with a pewter circle of sorts on a necklace.
Before he explained himself, Ram saw as YN softly looked at the trinket and held it as though it were something extremely precious to him. The longer Ram also looked at it, the more familiar it did feel.
YN: Do you still remember when I got this?
Ram: Yes. Ram accompanied YN to the village to buy it from a special vendor...
While the memory was recent, less than maybe a month ago, it seemed foggy in her mind, like it had been many, many years since then.
YN: It's a two part necklace. The other half—
Ram: —Rem wore. Didn't she?
Nodding softly to her, Ram for awhile now had seen how YN was acting in regard to ■■■'s disappearance, and from the get go, she had begun to form an idea of what kind of relationship YN and ■■■ had.
If Rem truly is Ram's younger twin, and given the way YN is talking about her is any indication...
Taking a deep breath, Ram actually had to steel herself to ask the question she felt, for some odd reason, she was entitled to know.
Ram: YN, just what were you and Rem? —Your relationship with her.
Fondly looking at the pewter circle, YN was slow to answer, but for the first time Ram could see a warmth in his eyes.
YN: Me and Rem? We have really strong feelings for each other. She's always very possessive of me, but I like that. From the moment I first saw her, I knew we were drawn to each other. At first she was very cold, but she eventually opened up.
Seeing his eyes become misty, he looked away from Ram, and back to outside the window.
YN: When the Mabeast fiasco happened, it was all because of her things ended up alright. —I know you don't remember that, but it was through that event Rem learned to rely on others for a change. Before that all she knew was you, and Roswaal... —And since she was keen on doing all the work in the Mansion it seemed, she eventually worked herself into getting into a habit of exhausting herself every day just so you wouldn't be strained.
Looking back at Ram, he continued.
YN: In fact, you're the one who asked me to be that person for her, to be the one she could lean on if she could not on anyone else. That night in the forest with the Mabeasts, a lot of tragic stuff occurred between us, but I still feel that foundation of ours makes us stronger than any other two people together, and it's what makes our relationship so special. There were some bad times we both faced, some Rem still regrets I know and feels guilty over, but I wouldn't change any of it because it's so integral to who we are together.
Hearing him speak so strongly about someone Ram did not know who was apparently her twin, a feeling of melancholy surrounded her foggy mind, finding so many small bits and prices of what he said so oddly lodged in her memories, all seemingly complete but yet somehow riddled with holes.
Raising a hand to her brow, Ram rubbed it as if struggling to recall something.
Ram: For some reason, Ram can remember talking YN with something to do in relation to having others rely on him, but it's all so fogged in her mind...
Perhaps on the cusp of breaking a curse of some kind, YN repeated the words Ram had told him on a few different occasions.
YN: Would you say that you were 'hanging your hopes' on me?
Eyes opened wide, Ram dropped the hand from her brow and stared straight forward for a moment before looking directly at YN again, surprised at his word choice and how well it fit the gap in her memory.
Ram: Hanging Ram's hopes on YN... Yes. I—, I am still unable to recall what those hopes were, or what they were for, but Ram definitely remembers doing that... That is why...
While it felt wrong to say, Ram definitely knew she treated YN better then how she would usually treat anyone who wasn't Roswaal. Frankly, there was no reason why she shouldn't treat him as she treats Subaru, as he was about the same status, and except for a few achievements, was no more noteworthy then him.
Then why is Ram treating him as such...?
It was a question with no answer she could ever hope to find, for that answer could only lay in the words YN was trying to convince her of.
And seeing she was on the brink of coming to a realization, YN pleaded with her one final time, having a good enough clue what was going through her head.
YN: How else can you explain your trust in me? I can tell you want to believe me. Where does it come from if not for you entrusting to me, your younger twin sister? Rem might have disappeared, but your trust for me hasn't.
Ram: I... Ram agrees. But—
Really beginning to struggle with herself, Ram fidgeted with her hands on her lap, resting gently on her apron.
Ram: —to accept it fully... would not be wise. Obviously these feelings Ram has and these holes in her memories... —she feels compromised by this.
Shaking her head to get a hold of herself, she sternly looked at YN with a new perspective.
Ram: Any proof YN might find cannot be Ram's own inadequacy of mind. While there may be a feeling that something is missing in her memory, that is not enough.
Not wasting a second more to let a lingering silence end the progress he felt was convincing Ram, YN continued to plead to her.
YN: That feeling is the key to it all though. The best proof is yourself and nothing else. How else were you born with only one horn? For what other reason did you lose it the night the Witch Cult attacked?
Ram: — — —
Sternly looking at YN, Ram didn't say a word, yet the expression she wore was hard to understand. It was a mix of surprise, concern, and even an air of cautious hostility, but even with that, YN went on, determined to convince her, even if she didn't answer his questions.
YN: And if I'm being honest I think I understand something about the way you are now, and why you and Rem have the relationship you do.
Ram: And that would be?
Concerned how YN could be speaking like this, on things she had no idea he knew, Ram began to feel almost irritated at how he was boasting about his knowledge of her inner feelings.
YN: The village viewed you as reincarnated God of sorts, as a callback to times of when the oni weren't in a decline. But you're not the kind of person to want such responsibility thrust upon you. And all of that ties back into Rem.
Ram: — — —
Deepening her expression, YN went on despite the somewhat threatening aura Ram had begun to give off.
YN: I won't comment on the ideas of grandeur the oni clan might have seen in you, or what they wanted and expected of you... But the only person who saw you as 'Ram' was Rem. You detested those expectations and instead clung to being the Nee-sama Rem thought you were.
Ram: YN...
Gouging deeper and deeper into what were her innermost memories, Ram could feel his words inflicting more pain as the fog in her mind wrestled against what she felt was missing.
YN: While everyone else refused to view you as you, Rem did. And you lost your horn to protect her. While Rem saw everything you could do be wiped away by its loss, she refused to stop praising you, because she knew if she didn't, no one would...
Ram: YN.
YN: —But even you knew that wasn't a healthy thing for her to do. Ram, I still don't know how hard it was for you to ask for Rem to lean on me... but what I do know is you were willing to sacrifice her being the only one to see you in a perfect way that wasn't attached to anything other than you being you. All so that she could finally find someone to lean on when you weren't having to lean on her to fulfill your duties around the mansion—
Ram: —Enough!
Yelling, Ram released some of the mounting self-frustration that was beginning to mount in the form of wind magic. More than just creating a gust that blew both of their hair, she managed to knock over the crystal lamp on the bed stand, and the top blanket off of YN.
With a pain extending from her own memories, it was Ram now who pleaded for answers.
Ram: How is it that you are able to speak in ways that perfectly explains the gaps and fogginess in Ram's mind despite it making no sense!? Ram has never once gone into detail on the origin of her hornlessness either... especially with it being related to the Witch's Cult...
Firing off her demands on how he could know these things, and despite the intimidating aura she was trying to use against him, YN remained calm in his demeanor as he answered.
YN: Because Ram,—
She knew what he was going to say before he said it. And still—
YN: —Rem told me.
Wishing to lash out, wishing to end his words, wishing it was for some other reason, the same fogginess of her mind calmed her. And with that calming—
Ram: — — —
—came the realization that even though it pained her, and even though it meant accepting what she felt made her incomplete—
Ram: —Very well. Let us say from this moment further, Ram believes you.
While an immense weight still lingered on YN's shoulders with Rem's erasure, his strength to endure it was reinforced.
Ram: To what end does that give you though? What is it that you've hoped to gain by convincing Ram of this tragedy?
Taking a deep breath, YN was relieved things could finally progress.
YN: There's a lot. But for starters, we need to find Subaru. He has information I'm sure we're going to need.
Ram: 'Need' for what exactly?
While he couldn't say for the root reason he needed to find Subaru, as it was related to the need to Return back to before things couldn't be undone, it did relate to the goal they needed to conquer next time.
YN: Just like your village was attacked and you lost your horn, the same fate is going to befall the village of Arlem.
Ram: The Witch Cult?!
Standing from her chair in alarm, Ram was once more surprised at how everything seemed to come back to familiar themes.
YN: Yes. And if I'm correct, Subaru has information that can help us with that.
Ram: Then we must go speak to him immediately.
Taking his hand and making him stand, Ram immediately moved to the door.
YN: W-Wait, Nee-sama, you're saying that as if he's down the hallway or something.
Ram: —? That is only because he is.
Turning to him, Ram said this like it were only a matter of fact.
YN: Wha—? How?!
Ram: YN lent him his... 'Khar' as you call it?
YN: S-Sure but—
Not wishing to delay things in explaining how Subaru stole it, Ram spoke with haste as well.
Ram: Ram must unfortunately relay to YN as well, that due Barasu's incompetence, he crashed it.
YN: —! Tsk. Of course he did.
Again, not wishing to delay any further, YN held his tongue. Following Ram down the hallway, she further explained as they walked.
Ram: According to Emilia-sama, he was trying to stop a planned theft of the proxine crystal the Great Spirit-sama resides in from her. Least to say, he failed in preventing it, and abandoned Emilia-sama in Fleur while he chased after the thieves.
Damn it, Subaru. You rushed in to try and save Emilia with absolutely no plan, didn't you?
Ram: After she was able to secure her own carriage for return and finding that the Lifaus Highway was then closed to traffic, Emilia-sama found him on the detour route to Arlem, passed out and half dead from his crash.
With no real time to inquire or care that his stolen car was now more than likely totaled, YN had to prioritize talking to Subaru. Arriving at the other guest room, Ram knocked.
Ram: Barasu, you have a visitor.
— — —
No response.
Knocking again, Ram was more forceful this time.
Ram: Barasu, if you are in the midst of some indecent act, please remember you have only been given lodging in the guest room for your recovery, and Ram will not tolerate anywhere other than your own room being soiled.
— — —
Trying to taunt him, again it yielded no response. With a hand now on the knob, Ram was ready to enter.
Ram: Ram is entering. If she is forced to see anything that will leave her traumatized she will—
Opening the door as she said this, her words were stopped in their tracks.
Ram: —Where...?
Poking his head in to see now too, YN was just as alarmed as Ram was.
While the unfixed bed clearly symbolized the room had been recently occupied, the lack of its occupant being present troubled both of them immediately upon seeing their absence.
YN: He's gone?
Stepping inside, Ram quickly deduced that he wasn't merely hiding. Turning back to YN, Ram spoke in a serious tone.
Ram: How vital is the information that Barasu has?
YN: I'd say pretty vital.
Snorting in frustration, Ram stomped back into the hallway, nearly knocking YN over.
Ram: Ram will ready a carriage using the ground dragon YN arrived on to go search the village and see if he departed to try and mount some sort of defense for the incoming attack. YN will stay and try and search the Mansion and immediate area for him.
YN: S-Shouldn't we both search here first and then—?
Ram: We don't have a moment to spare. If we split up we may be able to more quickly find him.
Not giving him a choice, Ram hastily stepped away to ready her own departure in search of Subaru, leaving YN to look on his own.
Damn it. Subaru we better find you quick!
Taking a deep breath, YN tried to suppress his darker thoughts.
We can't tolerate this loop going any further...
Running off to check the most obvious places first, YN began his search for his fellow wayward traveling companion.