Chapter 122: I've Come To Expect It From You
YN: AGHH! Get off of me!
Garfiel: Yous got a lot of nerve pullin' some shit like this!
In the midst of an immediate struggle, just after he had emerged from the Tomb, YN was in a standing headlock of Garfiel's design.
YN: Screw you! You've got no right!
Garfiel: 'ell I do! Now, spit it up about the Trial! How'd'ya take it, eh?!
Increasing the grip around his neck, YN worked to try and get an arm behind, up and over Garfiel's back to get ready to grab the blazer he wore.
YN: I don't owe you any explanation!
Garfiel: That so, eh?! How bouts' I rip yer head off?! Not so strong this time around are ya?!
While Garfiel was definitely putting in effort to keep YN restrained, he was beginning to get annoyed with the little white spec of light harassing him.
Garfiel: 'ell is thing too?! Annoyin' me!
Trying to wave it away in vain, the little Yang spirit was far too agile for him. With a few attempts to blow the spirit away with a few huffs of air, Garfiel gave into his instincts and tried biting at the spirit as it hovered close to his face.
With the "*clack*" of his teeth closing on nothing but empty air, he let out a growl of continued frustration at this annoying spirit.
But this was to YN's advantage. Too focused on Algol, he made his move.
YN: —HMPH!
Grabbing a hold of Garfiel's blazer, YN leaned forward and lifted. In the youth's distracted state, his tension over YN's neck was weakened to the point he could slip out of the headlock, and in one motion, flipped the golden-haired boy over his shoulder as Algol supplied mana to his muscles.
Garfiel: —Gah!
Garfiel landed straight on his back as YN essentially threw him to the ground.
Quick to recover though, Garfiel flipped himself upright on the ground, but with the wind partially knocked out of him, it hadn't been as immediate as he had wanted. Regardless, he was facing YN once more.
As YN took a stance of sorts, arms out and ready to grapple, Garfiel clenched his teeth as his hands on the ground turned to fists, taking dirt into them as they formed.
Garfiel: Oh I'm gunna make ya pay fer that one...
Yet, just as he went to lift himself another entity joined them in the clearing before the Tomb.
Clad in white, rather than her usual black coat, her pink hair was flung behind her as she ran up to the person she so affectionately referred to as "Gar-bo."
Barefoot as she ran out of the brush, by the time she reached Garfiel's side, YN realized the elf girl also lacked her usual staff that held a mana crystal of sorts.
With the light "pat-pat-pat" of her run coming to a halt, as she reached Garfiel, Ryuzu simply stared at Garfiel.
Garfiel: —Huh?!
Clearly catching him off guard, YN wondered why Ryuzu would run up like this in the midst of a scuffle.
It doesn't look like she's trying to stop the fight... But why isn't she saying anything?
Finding the elder's behavior odd, YN remained still.
Garfiel: W-What're you doin'— errrr... Granny, what's going—?!
Ryuzu(?): — — —
Simply staring at him, her face was rather close to his own as the blank expression and eyes remained unchanged.
With his question spoken to her though, all she could do to answer was tug on his blazer with one arm, and point out to where Garfiel had followed YN from with her other.
Garfiel: What are you trying—?
In the midst of trying to get clarification though, another entity joined him.
Algol: —!
Hovering about "Ryuzu," the Yang spirit's white hue matched her own jacket's stark brightness. Although she paid the spirit no mind, it seemed as if it were enthralled by her presence. While the spirit could not speak, its movements carried an air of joy and excitement to them.
However, that brief moment of stillness was disturbed by Garfiel suddenly shifting his legs. Going onto his back, he used the momentum of his upturned legs to throw himself upward and stand.
Garfiel: —Shit! That's what'ya mean, ain't it?!
Looking over to YN, the youth scowled as he spat dirt caught in his mouth still at his feet.
Garfiel: 'Pretty apparent now yous was just a distraction for the real plan all along, huh?
YN: — — —
Garfiel: —Tch. When I settle this, you can count on me comin' back to kill ya.
In the time Garfiel had said this, 'Ryuzu' had made a full sprint back to the area in the brush she had emerged from, never making a single sound, or speaking a single word.
But upon realizing that, YN was then given a view of Garfiel running off in the same direction he had come from.
YN: Well, the jig is up it seems.
Saying this to no one but Algol, who was now back by his side, YN ran off in a new direction.
I've got a pretty good idea of where Ram and Otto will be taking Subaru... I'm more than willing to bet he's going to Patrasche and he's going to make a break for it...
That only made sense after all. Even if the plan was simply to lay low while Garfiel simmered down, it was obvious he wouldn't follow Subaru out of the Sanctuary.
Maybe at best, Subaru's got more information he can ask Frederica about...
It was a long shot, but YN still viewed Frederica as a valuable source of information, and an ally in all this, especially in regard to Garfiel since she was his older sister.
Rem would trust her too. Maybe Frederica can explain how to get Garfiel to not be so hostile to us... or how to calm him down when he gets violent like this.
Certainly a big sister would know this.
Running through the thicket of shrubbery with his spirit by his side, YN gambled on many things now. Namely, where he hoped he could reconvene with everyone.
In the near distance to where YN hoped to rendezvous with Subaru and the others, a beastly roar echoed out from just beyond his limited vision that was hindered by the thick, night time forest ahead.
Shit, am I too late?!
Fearing it was mabeasts, YN bit his lip as he approached.
Rem mentioned she thought it may be the same person attacking as before. Using mabeasts... If they were able to attack the village and then the Mansion so covertly, there's no reason to think they wouldn't be capable of attacking here too!
Worried, YN exited the brush to the main pathway to and from the Sanctuary.
Damn it, I guessed wrong when running here... The stables shouldn't be that far up the road though—!
Turning in the direction that he believed would lead him to the right place, a gruesome sight stopped his thoughts cold.
YN: — — —
YN's agape mouth could only spew tiny puffs of warm air that steamed upward, past his vision, illuminated from the torches left knocked over and faintly burning upon the ground.
What...?
His body was locked in place. A fear crept though his mind that if he too went down this path, his fate would be like the others he saw here now.
W-What happened to them...?
Littering each side of the pathway, wide enough for just a single ground dragon carriage to pass, were the mutilated bodies of the Arlem villagers.
YN: — — —
Timidly, he stepped forward into the carnage, the still dripping and odorous smell of fresh blood let him know whatever had done this, had done so right before YN had gotten here.
Making his way down the path slowly, one thing was apparent with all the bodies—
—they're all armed. Crudely, with pitchforks, spades, and whatever else it looked like they could muster on short notice, but they definitely went down fighting a potential threat they knew could harm them...
What such a thing was though, YN couldn't guess, as it would have needed to newly manifest itself in the time he had taken his Trial. As much as he could continue thinking about what this all stemmed from, a familiar green tunic somehow stood out from the red smears that littered the muddy ground.
YN: No...!
Kneeling down to his side, YN moved the distinct merchant's cap this person wore to better see their face.
YN: Otto...
Lifeless, YN knew from the severed abdomen, it was pointless to try and potentially rouse his consciousness.
Otto could be counted among the dozens of fresh fatalities along the path.
? (distant): Fula!
Using his fingers to shut his eyes and let him rest peacefully, a familiar voice echoed from further down the path.
Is that... Nee-sama?!
Forcing himself to stand immediately, YN wasted no time, rushing further down the path to where the yell had come from.
*ROOOAAARR*
With a bellowing sound of a beast also coming from the same location, YN pushed himself harder to get there as quickly as he could.
YN: Nee-sama! Nee-sama!
YN was entering a state of panic. His heart was pounding, and his breath was bordering upon starting to hyperventilate. With every bounding step he ran towards the scuffle, the more narrowed it felt like his vision was getting.
But as he was running forward, a pink vestige was launched toward him from the darkness ahead. Arcing downward in their fall, their momentum was enough to cause a lethal result upon impact.
?: Agh!
YN recognized who this was though from their cry of pain. Nearly tripping as he adjusted his course, YN turned it into a slide as he caught the airborne individual.
YN: Nee-sama!
Stopping his forward travel as she was caught, YN was knocked backwards, causing them both to go to the ground.
YN: —Gah! Nee-sama! Ram! Are you okay?!
Holding the delicate oni in his arms, his hands were now stained in blood as the girl responded with nothing but her own labored breathing.
YN: Ram. Hey, Ram, what's going—?
Ram had quickly gathered her bearings as she realized she had been caught by an ally. Yet at this moment, she wished YN was far from here.
Rapidly turning her head to see him, a much more calm, yet still alarmed glint was in her eye as she looked to YN.
Ram: YN, you need to run back in the opposite way, Ram will hold him back!
'Him?!'
YN: Ram what are you—!?
?: Grrrrrrrrrr...
His words halted, a resonating growl reverberated throughout the forest and the ground they both sat upon.
*THUMP.* *THUMP.*
Each step of whatever manner of beast this was, shook the ground and rattled the loose leaves from the trees above.
Ram: — — —
YN: — — —
Scared silent, alarm bells were going off in YN's mind like crazy. He wanted to sling Ram over his shoulder and run, but the growl from before still echoed in his body, paralyzing him.
Ram: Ram... Ram has no strength left... W-We're done for...
Moving a hand to her head, just where her scar from having no horn was, Ram cursed her lack of power to defend themselves with.
With a few more *THUMPS* of its footsteps, a nearby fallen torch began to light up their approaching foe in this night-time hellscape.
?: GrrrrrRRRRR!
Snarling more now, the large beast was fully in view now.
Covered in blood, it dripped from its large claws and covered its orange-gold fur upon its stranding, upright body. Stepping strongly and confidently on just two legs, this normally non-bipedal foe shocked YN to his core.
A... A tiger! A massive, massive tiger!
The carnage made sense now. This giant of a beast was clearly capable of such violence.
YN couldn't help but focus on its paws. Although the fur on them was stained red, they were each nearly half the size of Ram's own body. Thankfully, the maid was only covered in scratches at best, but still must have found herself backhanded by one of the large mittens.
This scene of impending doom though was still not lost on her.
Although he could not see them, Ram's eyes dilated in anticipation of what lay next. Her breath shallow, the coldness of dread began to take over her psyche.
Ram: It's... It's over. We're dead...
Her hands, desperate to reach behind her, grasped and pushed at YN.
Ram: Please, YN—
About to plead with him to at least attempt to flee now, Ram's words were cut off by the sudden glow of white to the left of her vision, where her bangs obscured some sight.
It was a round ball of light, and it was warm. Hope itself seemed to radiate from it, but hope was not enough to save them, not now at least.
Ram (whisper): A spirit... YN's spirit.
Speaking just under her breath, Ram's attention was taken back to her right, where a larger, even brighter light overshadowed Algol.
It was a hand, outstretched. This one radiated warmth as well, but in conjunction with it wasn't just hope, but—
Ram (whisper): —Strength...
Clearly upset by the defiance, and of who it was that was showing it to him, the great, Golden Tiger snarled in anger at this show of white light.
Tiger: ROOOAAAR!
Rearing its claw back to take them both out in one swing of mass carnage, a roar was yelled back at it from YN.
YN: —El Jiwald!
Firing out as fast as light, the pinpoint beams of Yang magic shot forth.
Tiger: —!
Seeing it in the glare of its eyes, Ram saw the surprise in them as the beams of light tore past the golden fur, and buried themselves in the muscled chest of their foe.
Tiger: —Gah!
Blood shot from its large maw as the Golden Tiger fell to one knee. The light entering its chest had quickly bored its way through to cause immense damage, yet the beams of light hadn't emerged from its backside, much like they had with the head mabeast on that fateful night in the forest; a testament to the Tiger's strong density of its skin, muscle, and bone.
Tiger: —Haa...
Breathing heavily now, the beast's steaming breath nearly reached where they laid with its large huffs and puffs of pain.
But, not to waste another moment, Ram felt YN go to stand from underneath her, as the two had been on the ground this entire time still.
Feeling herself be thrown over his shoulder now, YN made a break for it.
Tiger: —GRRR!
The Golden Tiger swatted at them both in vain, getting nowhere near with its reach as YN hauled past.
YN sought to put as much distance between him and this threat as physically possible. His lungs burned for air and his muscles ached with fatigue from having used magic that normally put him right out.
YN: —Gah! —Ack!
He had managed to wound the beast, not kill it. It was important he took this opportunity to get as far away as possible since Ram was currently defenseless.
Staggering and tripping, YN collapsed as he reached the entrance back into the village, but still made sure he didn't fall on top of Ram as his legs gave out from underneath him.
The groundskeeper gasped and longed for air. His vision had become blurred and wavy from his exhaustion, and for some reason, he felt as if the air around him was abnormally cold.
With Ram in his arms still though, he gently set her down and tried to coax her into standing. His breath was too occupied trying to supply oxygen to his body to be wasted on words, as his consciousness was fading.
Please Ram... Please get away and run!
The mana YN had used for his intermediate level Yang spell, even if it had been brief, had taxed his body beyond being able to continue to flee.
He felt his muscles begin to give out as even the cold air around him did little to sooth the heat they radiated.
Taking his last few gasps he could make on his own, a weight released itself from his mind as he saw Ram make it to her feet.
That's right... Ram... Nee-sama... Please make it out of here... Go find Roswaal...
His vision blackening, YN slumped backwards as his mind went blank, and his pain subsided with all his muscles finally at ease.
While he wasn't dead, he certainly wasn't awake now either, and thus, was at the mercy of fate...
Ugh...
His head pounding and his muscles feeling dead, YN was jostled about as his consciousness came back to him.
With each "bump" he went over, it pained his headache, and made it difficult to easily open his eyes. He did feel well taken care of though, as he felt two solid points of support underneath his body.
What's going on?
Definitely lying down, or at least sideways, YN fought gravity and the inertia of each "bump" to raise his head enough to see what was going on around him.
First in his vision was the blur of scenery moving by rapidly. He knew immediately he was upside-down now, as the sensation seemed to lag behind what he felt initially upon waking up. Before him was the dimly lit treetop canopy going by. Next, was the sound in his ears finally being registered. There was district "clack" with each step under him, akin to dress shoes running along a hard dirt trail, but this was nearly drowned out by the heavy and labored breathing just to his side that wasn't his own.
Craning his vision over, a blur of pink swayed about in a fixed location. He couldn't see her face at the angle she carried him, but YN knew exactly who it was that was carrying him now.
YN: R-Ram...
As her head was looking over her shoulder, gazing behind, Ram hadn't noticed YN waking up as she ran, but with his horse voice calling her name, the maid stopped immediately as she looked at him.
Ram: —!
Quick to set him down, the oni huffed for breath as carrying YN must have proved no easy feat.
Looking up at her now without the blur of movement obscuring her details, he saw the damage on her body.
Dried blood stains ran down her forehead and face, with still a minor stream of the liquid variety traveling down from where her horn's scar was located.
Her clothes were torn and worn from a fight, or fleeing from one.
YN: Ram?! What's going on, why were you—?
Trying to ask her what had occurred in his conscious absence, they were interrupted by the rustling of the bush to their immediate flank.
Ram: —tch!
Immediately turning all her attention to the sound, a small object YN couldn't make out launched itself from the shrubbery right for them.
Ram: —Fula!
Meeting it with a blade of wind from her hand, the small object was cut in two on its path to them, leaving a small splatter of blood on the ground.
What the hell?!
Ram: —Gah!
Just after using her magic, Ram paid the price.
Falling to the ground on her knees, the poor girl clutched the wound on her head as it seeped more blood than whatever had just been cut in half did.
YN: N-Nee-sama!
Crawling over to her side, he reluctantly moved her hand away from the magical wound on her head, and saw the damage as Ram's own arm could do little to resist YN in her weakened state.
Giving him a weak look as if embarrassed to be so exposed like this, —to show such a weak side of herself, YN tried to formulate on what he should do.
Damn it, Yang magic doesn't really have any healing ability from what I've recalled, and I don't think I could try learning it here on the spot... But she's definitely out of mana... If I gave her some maybe—
Moving his own hand over, YN gently imprinted his thumb onto the wound on her forehead, causing Ram to wince for a moment while he closed his eyes.
Just like in the White Fox's Nest with Rem... I gave her mana while in there, so I just need to do that again...
Focusing on it, YN felt Algol's presence seemingly take over as he did.
...?
YN felt mana begin to move, but it was not his own. Rather, it felt like Algol was pulling in mana from the atmosphere directly, rather than channeling it to his own Gate like he was used to. He felt more like a catalyst than a supplier at this point.
Ram: Aaa...haa...
Seeing the tension on Ram's face melt away, a flushed expression took its place.
With her closed eyes slowly opening, it was as if the second they saw YN, they shot wide open. Amidst this, Ram suddenly grabbed YN's arm he was supplying mana with and moved it away from herself.
Ram: —Ah!
Exhaling sharply, Ram took several more, deep, wide eyed breaths before looking at YN with an air of extreme annoyance that bordered on disgust of all things, which was a stark contrast to the rosy cheeks she still sported from a moment before.
YN: Ram are you—
Ram: —Don't—
Glaring at YN now as if hostile almost, Ram's words carried a weight he'd never felt from her before.
Ram: —try, to give me, mana. Ever. Again.
YN: —!
Surprised to hear such a dark tone be used against him, YN leaned back, away from her to give the maid some more space.
Yet, thankful he had done this, Ram saw the look in his eyes in response to her harsh words.
Ram: — — —
More than she could remember then ever before, she had just wounded YN's feelings.
Averting her eyes, Ram in truth felt she had no real need to voice her displeasure in such a cold way now. YN had just saved her from being clawed apart, and now he was just trying to give her some strength.
Ram: ...—at least, not without Ram showing you the proper way too... which she'll still not let him do.
Trying to downplay her initial tone of hostility towards him now, Ram knew such things weren't in order to do now. There was danger.
A lot more danger.
With one last look of weakness to YN, Ram stood up and grabbed YN to stand as well, more or less not giving him a choice as she did. From what little mana she must have been given, it clearly was enough to restore a portion of her strength.
But as he was helped up, YN caught his eye on the small object Ram had sliced in half before collapsing.
Is that—?
Mortified by the gore shown to such a small creature, YN's immediate rationale could only be that Ram was on edge, and because of that, her judgment and restraint were compromised, hence her lashing out only a second before.
What she had cut in half with her Wind magic, was little more than—
—A hare?
'The stark white rodent at least was given a short, painless death', could be YN's only comforting thought on the matter.
Fully standing next to Ram now though, a second rustle was heard in the brush now to the opposite side as the first.
Ram: They just don't stop coming...!
YN: Ram... I think it's just more—
Ram: —Fula!
Three more small objects leaped from the brush, all to be cut down much less eloquently then the single one from just before.
Catching herself as she nearly stumbled backwards in recoil from using magic again so soon, YN pleaded with Ram to give herself a break.
YN: Nee-sama! You really should let yourself rest! It's just a bunch of rabbits that are probably disturbed by this cold snap we're in...
Rubbing his own arms to thwart the cold, he knew how badly Ram did in the cold...
We only just got away from that huge Tiger beast trying to kill us... She's probably frenzied...
YN figured this rash behavior of killing whatever rodent popped out from in-front of her might not be unlike when Rem would lose control while fighting in her 'oni mode.'
We should get to my car and try to follow Subaru out of here... We're really out of options by just staying.
Knowing Subaru had to be alive given YN hadn't felt a Return, he was still duty bound to make sure Ram was okay too.
Ram: It's more than that... So much more...
Wobbling in fatigue, YN stepped closer to try and steady the exhausted girl.
YN: Ram. Hey. Take it easy or I'll have to give you more mana again.
Ram: YN would not—
*Rustle* *Rustle*
Hearing something jump from the brush behind him, YN turned as he met the object flying at him.
*Bite!*
Clinging on to the fabric on his arm, a white bunny with red eyes was gnawing at his shirt.
YN: What the—?
Going to brush the annoying rodent off, as he went to, Ram quickly grabbed his arm to stop it.
Ram: —Don't!
As she saved his fingers though perhaps, it came at the cost of the flesh on his arm.
YN: —Gah!
Through his cloth, the small hare bit down into his skin, breaking it, and took several more bites as YN flailed his arm about.
YN: Get it off!
Seeing YN start to become a victim to this now too, Ram refused to see it happen again.
Ram: Ram promised to protect YN...!
YN: —Agh... Wait, Ram, don't! You're still—!
Ram: F-Fula!
Managing to get her hand near it, Ram decapitated the white rodent with her wind magic.
Yet, the small bodiless hare's teeth remained latched onto YN's arm. Pulling it off, a tiny bite size piece of flesh came off with it.
YN: Gah..!
In pain, YN looked at the severed head with great surprise.
Not only had this small rodent suddenly attacked him, it had also bit through his clothing as if to get to his flesh so it could dine on his being.
What the hell?!
But upon closer inspection, this severed hare head had another oddity to it other than a piece of flesh caught in its teeth—
Is that...?
YN: A horn...?
This wasn't just a rabid animal.
No...
It's a mabeast?! Are you kidding me?!
Alarmed at such a revelation, he was afforded little time to dwell on what it meant as Ram finally collapsed forward onto him, causing him to need to catch her.
YN: H-Hey! Ram! Stay awake!
About to pass out, the barely conscious oni, unable to restore her own mana, mumbled to YN as a new small stream of blood ran down her forehead.
Ram: YN needs to run... Use Ram as a decoy...
YN: —!?
Too alarmed to argue back at first, more rustling from the bush where the single hare had leapt from the first time cut off anything he could hope to say to Ram in his shock.
YN: Jiwald!
Vaporized by the cascade of white light, three or four more hares were cut down in what YN could only assume was the same goal as the one that had caused the wound on his arm now.
Ram: Run... Now... Leave Ram be... There is no more immediate danger from the Garf...
YN: Ram... I'm a bit more worried about whatever that Tiger was than Garf now... Plus these hares...
Looking up at him with half opened eyes, Ram confessed the truth.
Ram: That beast... The golden Tiger... that is Garf. These things already got him.
YN: — — —
The impact of what Ram had said shook YN to his core.
YN: That... beast... The Tiger that killed all those villagers, —killed Otto, and attacked us... That was... Garf?
Ram: Yes... He is able to transform into such a monster when angered...
As outlandish as it sounded, YN quickly found it completely plausible, given his sister had also transformed.
A lioness, and a tiger... That's fitting I suppose...
But that's when YN's mind slowly registered the next part as well.
YN: And he was... 'gotten?' by 'these?'
Knowing she meant the hares, YN could scarcely believe how that was possible until he happened to glance down at his still injured arm.
No... No way...
Ram: The Great Hare... one of the three most notorious mabeasts to roam the land... They suddenly showed up, and they swarmed the Sanctuary... Garf was powerless to them... they devoured him immediately...
YN: — — —
Hearing Ram weakly describe this unfolding nightmare, YN hadn't a clue what was going on now.
As his mind raced, he was oblivious to the renewed rustling in the brush behind him until—
Ram: Fu... la...
Barely managing to push enough mana to form a wind blade, let alone lift her hand behind YN's body, Ram saved him again from another flying hare, bent on tearing him apart. But just a second later, feeling an acute satisfaction upon seeing the hare's head fly off it's body—
Ram: *Sigh*...
—Ram passed out.
Fully alone, and unsure if more of these hares would pop out at any time, a panic refilled YN as he dropped one arm down, his injured one, and let Ram lie on the ground while he took some of the torn clothing from where he had been bitten and ripped it the rest of the way off. Tying it as a makeshift bandage around his wound, YN picked the pink-haired maid back up, and began to run as fast as he could.
With his mind blank, his adrenaline dumping into him, and a new fear burning in his chest, YN ran on to the one chance he had to escape with Ram in this brewing hell; his car.
Snow had started to fall by the time he could begin to see where he had left it.
Just a little more!
On this run for survival with Ram over his shoulder, YN had used his Yang magic several times now against more hares coming to feast upon him and the maid he now carried. Each time he vaporized them, but only just in time.
Algol really picked a bad time to go missing again...
While the spirit had been essential in garnering the mana and strength needed to use his most powerful spell to save Ram and himself from the golden tiger, —from Garfiel, Algol had decided to go into hiding after YN had scooped up Ram and fled.
Still though, YN had no time to be upset over things he didn't fully understand, and couldn't control either, because just like what had happened to him, the jostling of being carried while he ran began to awaken the one in his arms.
Ram: Ugh... Y...N?
YN: Ah! Nee-sama! Thank goodness! Listen, we'll get to my car, —er, dragonless carriage, and I'll give you the last bit of my mana. I don't have much to give but I should be—
—'just enough to give her the strength she might need.' is what he wanted to say, however, Ram had a much different idea of what YN should do...
Ram: —Just drop me here.
YN: —?!
Making direct eye contact with her as she was gently jostled in his arms, YN couldn't believe her unwillingness to live.
Ram: Ram needs to be a good decoy for YN like he was for her back in the forest, —when the mabeasts were attacking.
YN: I'm not doing that to Rem's sister. No way.
Ram: Being a decoy is all this weak body can offer anyone else now...
Nearly to the car, YN began to slow his pace as he fumbled in his pocket for his keys.
YN: —tch. This isn't like you, Ram. What changed? —What happened?
Lazily looking upward at the snowflakes falling down from up above, Ram realized that her internal conflict, the same one that had been plaguing her in all these Loops, unknown to YN at all, had reached a boiling point for the first time in any of them.
Ram: Roswaal-sama is gone.
YN: — — —
Unable to fathom what Ram was trying to say with that, YN felt the gravity of the predicament magnify.
Even greater than the pressure on YN though, was the mounting confliction in Ram. It was so great now, she had begun to doubt herself, which in turn only compounded how truly useless she felt.
Ram: Why is YN doing this for Ram? She is nothing but a burden to him now. All of my usefulness is... —it's gone.
Fishing the keys out of his pocket and into his hand, YN replied while opening the car door and managing to step inside with the oni still in his arms.
YN: You are not a burden to me, Ram.
Essentially having her on his lap, now, he had made strong eye contact with her upon saying this, yet, with seemingly only YN recognizing how he held her while making this contact, he quickly moved to set her over on the seat next to him as he stuck the keys into the ignition and turned the car over.
Even now as hares threw themselves at the car, smacking their little faces against the glass, sometimes leaving even a small blood splat as they hit it with such force, Ram paid the outside world no mind, and blankly stared at her own reflection in the frost covered glass of the passenger side window.
Moving ahead, YN hit and ran over countless hares as he got the car in motion.
Every few seconds it seemed, the car's suspension groaned as it drove over one or two of this never ending swarm. All over the car, the sounds of impacts could be heard like hail hitting the roof, these hares were determined to break in, and YN feared how creative they could get if he didn't keep moving fast. He even had to resort to using the windshield wipers to clear his view of snow and white fur.
After a few minutes of this though, YN was able to free themselves of the worst of it, perhaps outrunning most of the hoard by then as the car made its way down the snowy forest path now, Ram it seemed was willing to speak up as things had quieted down on the inside enough for YN to hear the maid mumble under her breath.
Ram: This is just like that incident in the forest all over again, isn't it?
Looking down at her own hands while they shook minutely, YN was silent before he himself questioned her on it.
YN: What do you mean?
Curious what it could be, given that the situation involving him was tied deeply to Rem, a person who no longer existed in anyone's memory, YN was either going to be surprised, or deeply troubled by what Ram would say next.
And the result would end up being both of those things.
Ram: When all three of us were cornered by the mabeasts, and Barasu still had Ram over his shoulder, it was YN who ran out to be our decoy.
Ram's expression softened greatly as she stared out the windshield of the car, the dried blood running from her forehead distinctly marked her relaxed face as her eyes rounded.
Ram: Just like now, Ram's weak body was limp, tired, out of mana, and at the end of her rope. As YN surely knows, and most likely from Rem, Ram finds even the most basic of tasks to be a painful experience. It has been that way since Ram lost her horn, so when situations like this arise, the pain is only magnified to unbearable degrees. Ram can no longer shelve it to the back of her mind and ignore, or pretend it is not there. But—
Looking to YN now, Ram went on, with more and more emotion in her voice.
Ram: —when YN ran off, to be our decoy, —Ram's decoy, in the forest that night, he managed to make all the pain in her body, as excruciating as it was, just disappear into thin air. That was when Ram's heart... it first fluttered.
YN: — — —
For what she could recall in her own memories, Ram had, for the first time ever, felt what it was like to have someone willing to go as far as to die for her. As someone who had only ever felt the willingness to die for someone else's sake, the scene in her memory had moved her heart immensely.
For once, Ram didn't feel the "chase" or the "urge" of needing to prove that she was needed to someone. Rather, this time, that need came right to her.
Yet this appeal to him, —this confession, came at a time of immense emotional emittance for both of them.
Was this just the result of a heavy situation getting the better of themselves? Or was this just the complex byproduct of Rem's existence being extinguished from the world?
'Made her heart flutter...'
Those final words, spoken with great emotion, were the same words Rem had spoken to YN on the morning after, right at this bedside, when for the first time they had been able to hold each other with their hearts fully aligned.
But fate now it seemed had found it necessary to rob even that from Rem and YN. The one being directly responsible of course being—
—Gluttony... Damn you... It's one thing for you to take Rem from me... but to just re-purpose the special and profound moments between her and I? That's too far... But I guess it's just another reason I have to undo your Authority's power... because it's also making Ram more dependent on me, and for reasons that never even happened.
It wasn't that YN disliked being a pillar for Ram, after all, he felt duty bound to support and help the woman he loved's cherished twin sister. But the fact that it was now for reasons that were falsities... That's what upset YN about all this.
YN: Ram... I hate to be so cruel, being the one to tell you this, but that's not what happened back in the forest... What made me run out to protect everyone was Rem giving me the strength to do that. I'm not strong enough to be that heroic on purpose.
Even as he denied the memories that made Ram say the words she did now, she continued to look at him as if expecting that answer. Ram was not dull, or weak minded, even when pushed to her emotional or physical limits. That was one of the chief reasons Rem so greatly admired Ram. She was strong in ways Rem thought she could only ever hope to be, even if Ram had her failings too.
Ram knew her memories weren't right, given she had no memory of this blue-haired, younger twin sister she had been shown. So of course, when looking back at her memories, analyzing how she felt about them, and how they shaped how she acted, she knew that looking at them in this context was direly necessary. Being the strong person she was, she had of course, already done that.
Ram: While Ram feels the way she does, she must admit, she can only truly recall feeling the way she does now, only being a recent phenomenon. This feeling may be a new one to Ram in all reality, but what she is certain of, is that what occurred in her memories is what makes her feel the way she does now.
Surprised by how upfront and honest with herself she was on a foundation that such memories may not be entirely accurate, YN was sincerely taken back by it. The magnitude of these things she felt now could not be understated; despite the hurdle it was to justify them, to Ram, their immense meaningfulness trumped even that.
YN: — — —
He was genuinely struggling to know what he should say back to her. Even in the face of uncertainty at her own memories, Ram placed full stock in her feelings above all else, which was rare for her and only spoke to how strongly they felt to her.
YN: Ram... The Sin Archbishops of Gluttony changed those memories... It's not like you forgot, or misremembered... they were actively changed by someone else.
Ram's expression towards YN ultimately changed very little to him, even as he put it as bluntly as he did.
Ram: Even if that may be the case... at the same time, Ram cannot bear to think her feelings from such memories are not as genuine as the memories themselves feel... But as to what YN is saying, he would go as far as to say what Ram feels isn't even real by that same definition.
YN: That's... more or less what I'm getting at.
It was a painful and cruel thing for him to just invalidate Ram sincerest feelings, but he felt he really did owe it to her to speak his mind.
Ram: ...Ram is unsure if she'd rather stay in this false reality where her pain is cured, or go back to how things should be by YN's standard.
YN: It's unlike the Nee-sama I know to choose the easy way, even if it's the most convenient way. —If only out of honesty towards yourself.
Ram: Ram must agree... Yet these feelings still—
—They were too profound to just ignore.
Pleading to YN, the reflection of what little light reflected into the car from the blanket of snow forming on the world outside upon Ram's eye told YN of all the welled up feelings inside her that were now coming to the surface.
Ram: Despite how Ram feels now, with no mana, —with her horn bleeding from overuse, she feels no pain.
YN: — — —
Ram: —There's no pain because it's replaced by the fact someone cares enough to risk themselves to save Ram, even when she's aware of how much of a burden she is deep down.
Speaking with a pained tone, through clenched teeth at the end of her last sentence, Ram once more drew parallels between now, and her memories of what she recalled happening in the forest near Arlem.
Ram: What occurred that night in the forest may not have unfolded how Ram recalls it... But right now, what YN is doing for her reminds her so very much of that evening. At the very least, Ram can take solace in one thing; what is occurring now, right before her, is very real.
Closing her eyes, Ram looked down at her lap.
Ram: Part of Ram even finds it hard to believe such memories are untrue, considering how closely YN is acting now, compared to how he did then.
With new tears running down her face, Ram gave into her innermost emotions, and clung to YN's arm now as he drove.
YN: —!
Ram: YN is perhaps the only person left in the world who values Ram at all. It is clear Roswaal-sama no longer does... Not with how he left Ram.
Choking up as she finished saying that, YN was to say the least, surprised and off-put by how Ram was acting now. It was one thing for her to be acting so weak-minded compared to how high a standard she held herself to, but it was a completely different level for Ram to act out in such distress and helplessness.
As much as YN wanted to speak some sense into Ram, what she said regarding Roswaal clued him into just how the maid was pushed into this state of mind.
YN: Ram... You mentioned Roswaal was gone earlier... but what does that mean?
Did he flee? Disappear? Or was it worse?
Why would Roswaal suddenly be out of the picture? No, it's not as simple as that...
It was clear that something Roswaal had done played a huge part into why Ram was the way she was now.
And if Roswaal of all people was acting strange now, in these near clueless Loops YN and Subaru faced in the Sanctuary, such a lead needed investigating.
Ram: Roswaal-sama is dead.
YN: —!
Looking down to the maid that remained clung to his side, he had nearly run the car off the road in the process.
Correcting its path just in time, YN's mind raced with a new slough of questions.
What does Roswaal of all people in?!
YN: Were... Were his injuries more serious than previously thought...?
Ram: No... Roswaal-sama was killed.
YN: —?!
No... There's no way. How?!
At this revelation, it explained why Ram was the way she was now. She was on the cusp of hysteria more than likely with such a loss.
But what burned inside YN, was the questions he now had.
He was killed... Meaning someone else is responsible... But the only one capable of that would be—?!
YN: Was... was it Garfiel? Did he, as a tiger, do that?
Ram: No. Just as the hares ended Garf, they also ended Roswaal-sama.
What?!
This simply just didn't add up to YN.
YN: Ram... How does Roswaal of all people let himself be overwhelmed by these hares?
Tightening the grip she had on YN's arm, the oni relayed how this had come about, despite how much the recent visuals pained her to recall.
Ram: Ram did not see the carnage herself... But before YN woke up, Ram had made haste to him to evacuate him as well but when she got there... The house had already been overrun by hares... He had given himself to them.
YN: There's no way... They must have surprised him, or—!
Ram: —The last time Ram had spoken to him, he told her that as per our contract, Ram was now free to do with him as she pleased. He had become a husk of his former self.
'Contract?'
Surprised at the notion of there being such a thing between Ram and Roswaal, not even Rem had mentioned its existence.
Ram: It is... far too much to explain as to what the contract entirely entailed... but should things ever go in a way Roswaal-sama did not intend for them to do, he was to give himself to Ram, so long as she stayed unwaveringly loyal...
Once more tightly clenching the arm of YN's she held, Ram bitterly shook her head.
Ram: —Even then, he still did not see fit to let Ram try and protect him first, even if it was obvious such efforts would be in vain against the Great Hare...
What it boiled down to for Ram, was that she wanted to feel wanted, —to be needed. With how Roswaal had died, to her, it seemed he hadn't valued her enough to let her fulfill that.
"But why?" was the question that couldn't be answered in her mind.
Was she not strong enough? Cunning enough? Talented enough? Was the crippling inability to produce her own mana too much a burden on her master?
Or was it years of simpler matters proving to be insurmountable in the face of such a ruthless foe?
Was she not attentive enough a maid? Not fast enough? Too unskilled? Was it the fact she struggled immensely with any household task that even a greenhorn like Petra was already better at than her?
These looming towers of judgment and pressures pushed Ram's opinion of herself, —her own self deprecation, to new lows.
But for a storm to wager in her, there needed to be two winds blowing against each other.
And that second wind; stalwart and resolute, she realized, was YN.
Even now as she was weak, bloodied, could barely move, and was the very definition of dead weight to him, he still found value in her where she, and to her own observation, everyone else, could not.
Ram couldn't do a thing to help YN now, she had exhausted any usefulness she thought she still had, yet here he was, telling her that he needed her, and was going to protect her of all people.
He wasn't demanding the protection and loyalty and usefulness others had expected of her to feel needed.
She completely lacked being able to do any of those things, yet here someone was offering her the same things that had been once demanded of her.
To that end, Ram needed to be honest not with herself, but to YN too.
Ram: That's why... It's why Ram is certain the only person who values her at all, is YN.
As more tears fell from her face, the pain was shed completely from Ram's mind and body. But as one was liberated from such things, another it seemed now lingered in it.
YN: — — —
All of this. Every last sentence, every last word. All of it.
No...
All of this, was wrong.
That's not true... That's not true at all, damn it!
Regardless of how he himself felt on this notion towards Ram, she was wrong about one key thing.
As much as he truly did care for Ram, there was only one person who dwarfed that to no comparison.
YN: That's not true.
Ram: —?
Halfway shocked he could say such a thing, before he would allow any other notions to be drafted in Ram's mind, he went on.
YN: There's one person above all others who cares for you, and sees more value in you than anyone else. So much value, it's nearly infinite.
Ram: ...but who?
YN: Who else... but Rem?
Objecting to the idea he could ever hold the title Ram was giving him that already had a well established claimant, YN spoke the answer to Ram's question, the answer being the one he cared the most for.
YN: If you ever think your value is attached to any sort of worldly thing, you're wrong. Rem always has, and always will see you as her gallant twin sister, —her precious Nee-sama, for no other reason than you are the way you are. Nothing will ever take that from either one of you. Not even Gluttony.
Ram: — — —
For once now, Ram was the one left speechless in the car. In her silence, the raging sea of confliction she had within herself was now as strong as ever.
Ram: It is strange but... Ram feels envious of her younger sister... yet at the same time, the last thing Ram would want to do is make Rem feel ill from valuing YN so strongly in her own heart...
Getting to the real source of the conflict in Ram's heart, YN's grip on the steering wheel tightened slightly, as he hadn't wished for this situation to become so complicated.
Just like how Rem's cleaning and tidiness of the Mansion was undone, which brought Frederica back into the Mansion's staff, there's even more to the vacuum left by Rem's disappearance...
YN recalled Rem's own theory that it seemed the universe was fulfilling the role that 'someone needed to care about YN' like she had, and suspected Ram's actions might have clued into that.
How right, Rem truly was. The adorable, blue-haired oracle had done it again.
The infatuation Rem had in me seems to have been taken up by Ram now, in a way...
YN: Ram, you yourself entrusted Rem to me in her time of need to lean on me. So I don't think it's that long of a shot to think she would ask the same of me, for you.
Sighing, YN toed a narrow wire with his words.
YN: I can't exactly help guide how you feel, especially in regards to me, or anyone else, especially since what we both remember now, is totally different. But, I promise that when you need, you can lean on me if things get too hard, just like you asked me to let Rem do.
Casting her gaze downward, it seemed as if Ram steeled herself as she looked back up to YN with a stern nod.
Ram: No matter how her feelings are resolved upon Rem waking up, Ram also promises that if need be, YN can lean on her, like she's sure Rem allows him to do.
It was with Ram's declaration of intent spoken, and with closure reached, even minutely, the world before YN suddenly vanished to black.
—!
This was without question;—
Subaru, had died, and thus, a new Loop was now to begin.