Chapter 125: From Dream To Nightmare
At his cry for help, the echoing shout brought the sound of a distant projectile closing in at a high-velocity, ripping through the atmosphere as it hurdled to their location.
With a single twinkle against the blue sky above, the Witch of Wrath rocketed onto the scene, fist first.
Minerva: For crying out LOUD!
Blown back from her impact, YN was flung to the next grassy hill over, and was airborne for several seconds, and rag-dolled upon landing. Yet as he came to a halt, he felt no pain.
Huh...?
YN: Bleh!
Spitting a clump of grass and dirt from his mouth, YN checked to see what he had broken from the impact. The feeling of zero pain made him fearful he had injured his spine or head, and the damage simply wasn't registering.
Yet as he patted himself down, spare a few grass stains on his clothes now, he found he was surprisingly fine.
In fact, his back actually felt less stiff than it had before he was launched.
I guess that's the Witch of Wrath for ya...
Recalling Minerva's authority and its healing powers, YN shook his head and rushed down the hill he had landed on before scrambling back up the one that still held Echidna's tea party.
We gotta get Subaru healed!
Left like that too long, YN worried what sort of permanent damage might occur to his fellow wayward traveling companions mind.
Practically on all fours, climbing up the steepest side of the grassy hill, YN reached the top as his lungs burned and he panted for air.
YN: Oh thank goodness.
Nearly collapsing from the scene before him, YN caught himself by falling to his knees.
By the time he had reached them, Minerva had already healed Subaru, who had now walked over to where YN was trying to catch his breath, thankfully dispelling the worst of his worries.
Subaru: I gotta say, you look almost as bad as I did a few minutes ago.
Offering out a hand, YN took it and was helped up by the black-haired boy.
YN: Not at all. I don't think I ever want to see something that harrowing again.
Subaru could only weakly look back at YN with a silent nod. Clearly he was still disturbed from actually experiencing the effects of Gluttony, which had only just been removed from him.
Joining them now though, was the short, but well endowed Witch that had heard YN's call for help.
Minerva: Daphne wanted me to let you both know 'That's how the Great Hare feels all the time.'
With a pout, Minerva relayed the message she had been asked to. As YN and Subaru exchanged a look, it was YN who spoke up first in reply.
YN: So she wanted one of us to understand how it feels to be the Hare? Are you kidding me?
Subaru: Maybe so we can understand how it behaves?
Minerva: All I know is that was way too cruel. Making others feel pain and be hurt just to teach them a lesson isn't a virtue worth knowing!
Minerva became more flustered as she went on saying that, causing small tears of frustration to form in her blue eyes as she crossed her arms under her ample chest, making it bounce in a pronounced way.
Paying that no mind though, YN stared down at the ground and just shook his head.
YN: She really did have a 'bad affinity' with us... What a twisted way to go about things. In the end though, it did do a good job at showing just how things created by Gluttony act and behave...
Subaru: Yeah. It definitely inspires to what degree they're controlled by Gluttony... It makes more sense now why Daphne was the way that she was too. Her coffin on legs is just a way to keep herself from burning as much energy as possible. When you have to go to such lengths to quell your hunger, it isn't surprising she created such creatures, and why they themselves act the way the do.
Minerva: Are we finished then? Dona is gonna wanna talk to you both soon...
Pouting still, Minerva kept her arms crossed as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, showing the mild amount of impatience she had growing.
YN: A-Ah! Right. Um, thank you, Minerva-san... I know you probably didn't expect to be back so soon...
Nervously scratching the back of his head and looking away as he said that, YN missed the stark blush that went across the Witch's face as she turned her back to him to hide it.
Minerva: Well... If it's for you I don't mind...
YN: Really, thank you again. I appreciate it.
Still unknown to YN, Minerva cast her own eyes down to the grassy ground.
He doesn't sound like he gets much help...
Noting how sincere his thanks was, Minerva concluded her single moment-length self-reflection with a warm smile as her back was still turned to them both.
Minerva: If someone's hurt, don't hesitate to holler, got it?
Looking back over her shoulder, the Witch saw YN nod in understanding.
Leaping up into the sky, she was gone again.
?: My, somehow that turned out both exactly how I had predicted it, and completely unexpected.
Whisked back into existence, the Witch of Greed's words entered their heads before any visual of her did.
Subaru: I guess that ended up being a lot of trouble for you, wasn't it?
Echidna: Perhaps, but it's good for them to talk to someone who isn't me every now and again. So, did we learn anything?
As Subaru had scratched his head and lamented his host's hardships for his company, he completely changed his tone now as he looked back to where the grass remained stained in a scarlet shade of red.
Subaru: What did I learn? Maybe what hell feels like...
Echidna: That surely isn't everything though.
Subaru: No. It's not.
Looking back to Echidna with a face full of determination, Subaru clenched his fists at his side.
Subaru: I learned that those beasts need to be destroyed... I don't care if Daphne made them when she was at her hungriest... That hardly excuses the four hundred years of pain they've caused.
Echidna: That is quite the bold goal, especially with everything else going on that you need to face.
YN: Subaru already got rid of one of them that was in his way, he'll do it again if we have to.
While the Witch wasn't too keen on YN also feeling fanciful like this, she couldn't fault that he wasn't wrong, so she did the next best thing, and simply didn't respond.
Instead, she poured two new cups of tea, and invited Subaru back to sit with her.
Admittedly though, to YN, he was beginning to be weary of this entire tea party. Even now as Echidna was getting Subaru to better understand his place in this mess, YN couldn't help but be tired of it all.
Sure, they'd learned some things about the Great Hare, and maybe had gotten some insight into the logic it followed, but to what end had their suffering let them accomplish anything? For what little it felt like they had gained, YN couldn't help but feel like this was all some sort of a show; entertainment for Echidna.
Or rather—
This feels like she's setting us up... In a sense, she's buttering us up for something later...
Truly, to YN, her motives were still a mystery, but the longer Echidna seemed to play this game, the more suspicious he became of her.
I can't tell if she's waiting for us to become reliant on her for something, or if she's being extra patient to strike at the right time...
While YN was lost in thought, Subaru and Echidna had discussed a number of things, mainly the Great Hare, Daphne, Minerva, Typhon, and again about Return By Death.
As YN started to tune back in, Echidna had begun to heavily inquire on the fact Subaru could just go back to being "normal" after such painful experiences. It was especially curious to her, how the black-haired boy could even hold a normal conversation like this, especially after the mental scarring the pains of Gluttony could have on him. Getting no real reaction from him on that curiosity, the Witch rather began to ask him how he viewed Return By Death, to which, Subaru answered as gallantly as he could.
He openly declared he'd expend as much of his own heartache as needed to reach the ideal future for him, as well as YN, and everyone else. Even as Echidna questioned how someone not insane could rationally say that, Subaru could only reply with the fact he really did think something was wrong with himself too by her observation.
With a sip of her own tea, Echidna could only resign to letting Subaru think that such a way wasn't detrimental, but did agree that given the circumstances, that using Return By Death was perhaps his only way past the obstacles he and YN faced. But what bothered YN was what she finished by saying.
Echidna: To be wholly reliant on Envy... I cannot say I'd be too comfortable in being that.
Before he or even Subaru could question her on that though, Echidna for the first time now turned her attention to YN, the Greedy desire for knowledge was obvious in her dark eyes.
Echidna: You've managed to stay awfully quiet till now... While I would prefer you stayed that way, I guess I have become somewhat curious on your view of it—, on Return By Death. Do you accept it as easily as Subaru, I wonder? —Could you, if you had to?
Getting a few beratements in there with her honest inquiry, YN simply didn't bite the bait cast out by the Witch, and rather, calmly answered her initial topic after a deep breath, momentarily reflecting on his own feelings regarding the subject.
YN: I don't really think my opinion on it really matters. If I did or didn't accept it as Subaru has, ultimately I'm still only along for the ride.
Echidna: But it effects you, and only you outside of himself, certainly you must think of it as your power too?
YN: If it really was partially mine too, I'd be turning back time too when I died. And we both know that's not happening.
Not playing ball with Echidna, she continued to try and gouge an answer out of YN, as if determined to lay and ignite the cinders of conflict between the two of them.
Echidna: That may be true, but do you not hold direct influence over it yourself? You have more than enough capability to make him use his ability. So why not do that more often?
YN: Because I've learned that's not right. I bear no consequences, and I feel no cost when he uses his ability. It imparts cruelty upon a friend, as death never gets easier for him, but killing would get easier for me. 'Murder is a habit,' after all.
Echidna: You heard him though. He said he was willing to take any sort of pain or heartache to save everyone and make sure every wrong was made right.
Looking more intensely at YN, a dark aura seemed to surround the Witch with white hair.
Echidna: Would the real cruel thing then be for him to not allow you to keep re-trying a Loop until your problem is fixed? Is it just because it's his power that he has, with the potential to solve your problems, means yours are of lesser priority? Are you letting him say that your tragedies are second to his?
On and on, the Witch cleaved into YN's logic and answers, striking a definitive blow each time he answered. Subaru, who remained silent for this, thought YN would be unable to combat her words of venom each time she slung them at him, but miraculously he stayed on his verbal toes to counter her every time.
YN: You misunderstand than. Neither's problems are of greater or lesser importance. The main point is that Return By Death carries a huge toll for the one who ultimately must perish.
Looking at the Witch, YN met her dark aura with his own aura of hopefulness.
YN: If Subaru had to do this all on his own, and didn't have a single soul to help him through it that he could tell all this to, unless he had a miracle of support from everyone else, his mind would have gone to mush a long time ago. We're only able to count on Return By Death because we share the strain it causes.
Casting his eyes down as the painful memories of the one he loved's loss, still fresh in his mind after all this time, YN fueled his determined response with that sorrow.
YN: Even if a problem of mine went unsolved... it was only because Subaru kept me in check, which is something Rem would have wanted.
Echidna: — — —
Unsure if he had thwarted the Witch's curiosity-turned-critique of him, or had simply bored her with his stonewall-esque stance, Echidna ultimately now seemed to stand down.
As the two only shared a somewhat tenuous stare-down, it was broken by Subaru's sway as he stood next to YN. Catching himself on his back foot as he put a hand to his brow, wincing in discomfort, Subaru complained under his breath.
Subaru: Ugh... It feels like the whole tea party is spinning...
Turning her attention to him, Echidna's tone immediately became more friendly again.
Echidna: Hmm, it would appear your body is beginning to awake... The Tea party will soon come to an end.
Looking upward, almost stoically, Echidna almost seemed to be lamenting the fact it would be over shortly.
Unsure if he accomplished everything he'd have liked to though, Subaru did inquire more on why the Sanctuary was sometimes referred to as the "Witch's Laboratory," to which Echidna refused to comment on, saying it would make him think bad of her if he knew the truth of her experiments.
Acting more like a school-girl with a crush now, Echidna really laid the act in on Subaru thick now, to the point even he noticed how shameless it was. The Witch did admit she herself was "a girl too," and liked having light hearted moments like this, but ultimately noted the difference between a "mere mortal" and a Witch.
From there, the conversation shifted more towards if Subaru wished to come and see her again. Echidna went on to say that seeing her a third time would prove to be quite the hurdle unless he participated in the Trial himself again. It wouldn't be as simple as it was this time for them, by simply wishing to see her.
Looking to YN though, she held her annoyed expression again.
Echidna: —although I hope only those invited will attend.
YN: Didn't you say you wanted me to take the third Trial? And that regardless if I passed, you'd answer more of my questions?
'My' being code for ones I can't ask in front of Subaru...
Echidna: Oh, I do. But what I look forward to is seeing you squirm in failure.
Darkly saying that, YN too now felt somewhat dizzy too.
YN: *Ugh...* Yeah, yeah. Sure.
Seeing YN was also in a mental haze of unease like he had been, Subaru concluded their time was close.
Subaru: Well, I guess this has been worthwhile... Thank you again, Echidna.
Echidna: You are more than welcome. Next time you're back, I'll be sure to brew some fresh tea.
Subaru: I'll pass, I think.
What kind of fetish does she have?
As YN's mind screamed in crude curiosity, Subaru declined her offer out and out. Echidna did give him a rather ponderous look as well though before they both were gone.
Echidna: You do know it's proper etiquette to compensate a Witch for her knowledge, right? It comes at a price.
Only able to scratch the back of his head at that, Subaru patted his pockets as if trying to maybe find a coin or two to throw her way, like she were some busker on the street.
Subaru: I... Uhhh... Do you take card?
Echidna: 'K-hard?' Hmmm, no... That is a saying from your world though...
A gentle hand to her chin in thought, Echidna pointed a finger upward as if she had come up with a brilliant idea.
Echidna: Would the correct response to that be 'the eye-scream machine is broken?'
Subaru: Uhhh. Sure.
Perhaps delving into their memories without enough context, YN pinched the bridge of his brows at the Witch's struggle with words she didn't understand.
Giggling at the exchange though, Echidna reached her hand out to him nonetheless.
Echidna: Your wrist, please.
Looking down at it before handing it over, Subaru hadn't quite understood her motive by asking for it, and the same went for YN.
With his hand in her own now though, Echidna untied the handkerchief on his wrist, the very same one Petra had given him.
The Witch laid it out flat, with the crudely embroidered caricature of the small gray cat, Puck, face up.
As her other hand glowed with a magic of some kind, Subaru was too fixated on that to notice the Witch had actually paused, and had smiled fondly at the small representation of the Great Spirit, something it seemed only YN had seen her do.
Applying her magic to it, Echidna folded the small fabric over once, and re-tied it to Subaru's wrist, holding his hand with both of hers upon finishing.
Echidna: I have collected my compensation.
A warm, almost romantic smile on her face as Echidna released his hand, Subaru took his wrist back as a bead of nervous sweat ran down his cheek.
Subaru: I-I thought you were going to take it... This was given to me by someone who expects it back... So I think I would have had to decline you if you did ask for it.
Echidna: It was clearly made by someone who treasures you. It's only imbued with an insurmountable amount of energy and power because of that. Every stitch woven into it was full of meaning.
Knowing she talked of Petra, Subaru lightly played with it as YN squinted at Echidna.
YN: Would it have even mattered if you took it? After all, once we're back in the real world, it's not like it would miraculously be missing. You said yourself that the physical happenings in here have no effect on the outside world, right?
Basically implying her touch of magic had other, ulterior motives behind it, the Witch scowled back at YN.
Echidna: It's a bad habit to criticize the kindness of others.
YN: Oh, are you preparing to be compensated from me too?
Rolling her eyes and scoffing at YN, the Witch rested her cheek on her palm.
Echidna: I desire nothing from the likes of you. It will be enough for me once the anomaly has left my domain.
Unable to retort the Witch, both YN and Subaru were hit with a wave of dizziness. Their time in this temporal plane of existence was coming to an end as the Witch, and the grassy hills all around them began to fade away.
Subaru: Thank you, Echidna.
Echidna: The pleasure has been mine.
Giving Subaru a rather sultry look, the Witch kept the same expression as she turned her expression to YN, something that made him feel unease being looked at by the Witch in this way.
Echidna: Remember, your questions will only ever be answered if you attempt the Third Trial.
YN: Oh I will take it, don't you worry.
Fading away, one last sadistic smile crept across her face as her voice seemed to project from out of the air with the rest of her fully removed from existence.
Echidna: I look forward to seeing you squirm.
A sensation not unlike a Return overtook them both as their consciousnesses were warped and twisted about. Being stripped of all feelings, they were slowly returned back to them in different conditions.
Orientation, hearing, feeling, it was all familiar, yet it wasn't.
Familiar as if they had felt this way before.
Unfamiliar as it was starkly different to what they had just been experiencing in the realm of Witches and Tea Parties.
Awakening, YN spit the familiar dirt from his mouth as he felt the damp touch of stone underneath him. Wasting no further time, he now turned his fresh gaze upward to see the pair of large doors before him, as he was aware of where they led to.
I guess we're back in real life...
As he sat up, YN felt the unknown urge he needed to do a certain task, but he couldn't quite remember what it was.
There should be something I need to recall... but what was it?
YN went to stand as he thought and thought, but nothing seemed to be jogging his memory. He wanted to figure this out before he moved up to the larger chamber room where Subaru and Emilia were, beyond the broken pair of doors. As his mind dwelled on it, he leaned against the wall.
YN: —Ugh...
Brushing it off himself, some of the glowing, spongy moss had gotten on his clothes from the Tomb wall, leaving a small patch of glowing fluid on his shoulder.
YN: You really need to clean up this place, Echidna... —!
Saying this name, all the memories and happenings of the past hour or so of YN's came back to him.
'—Echidna!' —The tea party! We... We really did keep the memories this time...
Unsure why he couldn't have recalled it right away, YN could only chalk up his hesitant memory to the Witch just messing with him again.
Something tells me I lucked out recalling it so quickly...
YN didn't have time to mull over that though, as for now, he needed to regroup with Subaru and—
Subaru: —YN!
Barging out of the chamber room, past the broken doors, Subaru bellowed out for YN.
YN: Subaru.
Seemingly in a small panic, YN could see the signs on Subaru, but he remained silent as he now approached. Rather than looking about the narrow passageway, Subaru turned his gaze past YN, and even back where the large doors were.
YN: Hey, is everything alright? Do you remember the Tea Party too?
Subaru: Y-Yeah, I do. —Of course I do, but that's not my problem right now.
Exhausting any place to check now, Subaru briefly stuck his head back into the chamber room where he had just come from. YN wanted to ask what had Subaru all riled up, but he answered that question before there was a chance to ask it.
Subaru: Emilia-tan didn't come out here already, did she?
YN: N-No... She wasn't in there with you still?
Subaru: No. No she wasn't. Damn it. Hey, how long have you been up now?
YN: I just stood up.
Subaru: Are you sure you didn't hear her walk by?
YN: No. I would have figured she would have woken us both up before leaving here...
Subaru: — — —
Frustrated, Subaru nodded his head.
Subaru: —She would have. I know that for a fact. That means she had to have left here for another reason... An urgent one.
Eyes opening wide to that prospect, YN looked to the entrance of the Tomb and then back to Subaru.
YN: It's still dark outside... You don't think the Return point moved, do you?
Subaru: We can't rule that out, but just standing here isn't going to answer that either.
Moving past YN, Subaru spoke back to him over his shoulder.
Subaru: C'mon. I might need your help.
Nodding in response, YN followed him.
YN: You've got it.
At a brisk pace, the two headed to the exit of the Tomb, eager to find what laid in wait outside.
Exiting the Tomb, the surrounding area was dark. Darker than usual.
Subaru: What the hell?
It almost felt like neither of them had even left the Tomb, and they would have thought so to had it not been for the starry sky above them. Yet, before them—
YN: —It's just an endless sea of... nothing.
Like a dense fog covering the land, a black mist enveloped everything around them. The Tomb that they stood in front of was now an island in the sea, just high enough to be above the black water that reached up to the second or third highest step leading up to the Witch of Greed's resting area.
YN: Ram!
Subaru: Emilia-tan!
As they each shouted out into the black mist, their voices reached nothing. No one was waiting for them like every other time they exited the Tomb.
YN: This is really reminiscent of the Whale's white mist...
Subaru: You don't think the Great Hare can do something similar, do you?
Shaking his head, that didn't make sense to YN.
YN: I get they have the same 'mother,' but wouldn't it have done that before?
Subaru: I guess that's true... I'm starting to wonder if for some reason we woke up much later than normal... And now it's well past whenever we've lived to...
YN: It's like you said though, right? Emilia wouldn't have just left us in there... Even if she had been forced to.
Subaru: — — —
Subaru was silent for a moment as thoughts as dark as the mist rendered in his mind.
Subaru: —Unless she wasn't given the chance to.
Fearful something else might have removed her from the Tomb, a cold sensation shook them both to their core.
?: — — —
There was a presence felt by each of them. To what it was though, or even where it was, neither had a clue.
?: — — —
They felt frozen. Fear and intimidation halted even their heartbeats it seemed.
Yet as their eyes looked out into the dark void beyond them, the waters of it parted, and a figure of even blacker nothingness began to emerge from it.
The mist swirled and contorted around this figure like a sea monster under the waves of the ocean, before rocketing out of it, were a pair of shadowy hands.
Still too frozen to move, neither evaded, but ultimately, only one would have needed to.
The hands went directly for YN, with one wrapping around one of his legs, while the other did the same but to a single arm.
YN: —!
He was not even given the courtesy of yelling out before the arms from nowhere had scooped him up, and pulled him away into the inky blackness below.
Subaru: —!
Only able to open his eyes wide at such sudden capture, it took Subaru's entire willpower to move his feet. Shuffling backward, he tripped on one of the Tomb's steps behind him and fell to this back.
Subaru: Y-Y...
A fear was overtaking him now. A fear that he would be next to be taken away.
Subaru: —Y-N!
Crying out for his friend, he heard and saw nothing.
Subaru was now alone on this island of a Tomb, in more ways than one it seemed.
It was hard to breathe.
What's going on?!
It was hard to move.
Where am I?!
It was humidly hot, yet dashingly cold.
What happened?!
Still restrained, but now with what felt like many more of the same hands that had taken him, it was akin to being trapped in Shamak, yet infinitely worse.
All of his senses were taken from him.
No matter how hard he opened his eyes, he couldn't see. No matter how tightly he shut his eyes, he couldn't escape the paralyzing darkness he saw.
At the same time, he had the sensation of free falling and being in the wide open, the fear of complete vulnerability, while at the same time, like he was compressed into a box, unable to move and like he would soon run out of air to breath.
His ears rung with the infinitely silence around him, yet echoed intensely with the sounds of his own breathing and heartbeat.
Existence, it seemed at this point, was a chore. It was pain. It was dreadful.
Seconds seemed like hours, days even. His mind wouldn't let him focus on the sound of his heart. Was it just a few fractions of a second between every beat, or was it hours? He couldn't tell.
Why is this happening to me?!
In this inky, misty, dank hell, YN could do nothing but await his own, or Subaru's death. Only such a terrible thing it seemed could release him from this.
Am I going to die? Am I already dead?
Only the most basic thoughts could be had. Simple. Easy. That's all that his own mind had sheltered away from this. It was YN's last string of sanity.
No... I'm not dead.
His mind could recognize only a few basic pieces of information at a time, and one of those had to be his current state; alive, or dead.
While not a sense someone would normally have, dying a few times seemed to teach him that.
—Something Subaru certainly knew how to feel to.
I'm not dead, because if I was, I'd be in the White Room.
Nearing the extent his reserved brain power could contemplate, this information also budded new revelations.
Like a beaker filled with water, the sane part of his mind was reaching it's very limited capacity. Too much, and things would start to spill out at random. Information he knew and understood now would become garbled and random.
"—Corrupted," you could say.
But the last piece of information to enter his mind proved to be an important key.
If I got to the White Room... Will I see her again?
The one whom his entire being seemed to strive and continue to exist for, was he soon to meet her once more?
Rem...
Her very image, her kindness, her love overwhelmed YN's limited mind. Rather than ruin what information was in his reserved brain, Rem displaced everything else there.
Rem...
A soft and faint warmth began to grow in his abdomen.
Rem.
This warmth, brought light.
Rem!
This light, scattered the darkness around him.
Rem!
With the darkness cleared, a sense of self was restored.
Gravity—, up and down was restored. His lungs breathed fresh and new. His vision was uniform. Gone was the crippling fright and compression his body felt.
YN: Rem...
Softly speaking her name, it brought him strength and power. From him, a spec of white light dashed away all these troubles.
In a space, free of torment, the image of Rem in his mind fueled his resolve, and allowed him to pass that strength to the one that could save him now.
Algol: — — —
Much like it had with Shamak, cast upon him by Puck, and even when Subaru had done so, Algol fought back against the hell around them. As natural as the light of a flame could cast back the night, this spirit of Yang did so too with Yin magic.
Yet, the solitude between spirit arts user and spirit was brief.
From beyond their sphere of salvation, the same dark entity from before approached. Once more, the inky black space beyond them swirled with its approach.
This time though, rather than just its hands, the owner and catalyst of this debacle showed herself.
?: Thank you... for helping my beloved.
Shrouded in shadows darker than she emerged from, the one responsible for his fate in this world approached.
?: Thank you... Thank you... Thank you...
Right before him, now of all times—
—it's her.
?: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The Witch of Envy.
YN: — — —
With a pause between them, the eye of the storm passed quickly.
?: Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou—
Relentless, just as she had been in the back seat of his car that fateful night, the pressure of her presence fully laid itself into YN.
YN: —Gah!
Dropping to his knee, he clamped his hands to cover his ears.
?: —thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou—
It was agony. The gravity of her thanks was too much for YN. With enough of this, soon this would out measure what he had been facing just mere moments ago.
?: —thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou—
Feeling if he was at his breaking point, YN lifted his head up, and yelled out the only thing he could imagine he could.
YN: You're welcome—!
Like a zap of lighting, everything that had been, was now not.
Everything—
Huh?
—was gone.
His body, his feelings, the pressure, the Witch, his growing mental strain.
All. Gone.
YN: — — —
This feeling of absence, was in itself, a relief, despite his body not being able to feel relief in and of itself at this point.
This absence, was familiar after all.
How messed up am I?
It was a crude thing to call this familiarity a relief, let alone familiar on its own.
The familiar relief—
*Sigh...*
—of death.
There was no time to dwell however, the Reset had been triggered, and now, a Return was started.
The sensations of lying on the cold, damp Tomb floor returned to YN like the familiar pattern of bumps in the road or path home.
Like he did every time, he spat the dirt from his mouth where he had collapsed, and helped himself up.
YN: Ugh...
Feeling every extremity of his own, YN's psyche demanded he do a pre-check on his body, lest paranoia develop from within.
YN: Okay... Everything seems just as it was...
Standing, he had returned to his former self. All his memories were there, that he was sure of. His body and mana felt normal. Only his vision seemed dull still, but that was to be expected.
The feeling of just being normal... what a liberation that is... I have no idea what caused all that though...
Looking down at his own palm as he opened and closed it, YN shook his head, and rallied his determination as he cast away the painful memories of only what must have been a few minutes prior.
Gotta go make sure Subaru is okay too.
Moving forward, YN stuck his head past the two damaged, broken doors that led to the inner chamber where his fellow wayward traveling companion should be located, alongside the one he longed for like YN did for Rem.
Looking inside, he first spied Emilia, still laid unconscious on the ground. And over in the corner of the dimly lit chamber—
Subaru!
Curled into a small ball, Subaru sat with his back against the wall and his knees up to his chest. A startled, "deer-in-headlights" look was on his face. While not a look of insanity or anything as drastic such as that, it was the face of someone who had just been through something worse compared to what YN had just experienced.
As YN walked in, it was only by the time he reached his friend's side did Subaru seem to notice him approach.
Subaru: ...!
Seemingly snapping him out of his state, he looked up at YN.
Certainly, the two had things that needed to be discussed.
Quickly looking between him and Emilia, Subaru seemed to be making a judgment of some kind before he spoke with a hoarse voice, having not spoken out loud in awhile, and trying to keep it from being too loud as well.
Subaru (whisper): —We... we have a little bit of time before Emilia-tan starts to really struggle...
Gesturing for YN to sit, Subaru too recognized the need to speak uninterrupted, and its urgency superseded waiting for when they'd be alone once more after putting Emilia to bed and leaving her in Ram's care. Since even that always occurred after the discussion that would always follow that involved Garfiel and Ryuzu, that meant a good hour or more could pass before YN and Subaru would have an opportunity to talk and discuss things in private from a fresh Return.
Taking the offered seat on the ground by Subaru, the two had an upfront view of Emilia still taking her Trial as they both faced her.
YN: So...
Subaru: 'What happened?'
YN: Yeah...
While it was obvious what he was going to ask, Subaru sought to be quick about things.
Subaru: Strange things. Garfiel... The Witch...
YN: 'Garfiel?'
Surprised to hear him of all things had come up, Subaru shook his head first, wondering why YN was more interested in that than the Witch, clearly signaling a disparity between what they each experienced what was ultimately only minutes ago.
Subaru: Before we get into that, what about you? What happened after you got grabbed away?
YN: That part is kind of fuzzy... But I had a run in with the Witch, right before we Returned.
Subaru: That's strange... Because I did too, right before I died.
Knowing all the things said about the Witch, it wasn't entirely unreasonable it seemed for someone like her to be in two different places at the same time, yet—
Subaru: Well... I can't say if it was her. Maybe a better word to use might be... her vessel.
As Subaru said this, YN could see he was intensely looking at the silver haired girl before them, still unconscious on the ground like she had been.
YN: Hold on, hold on. Can you start from the beginning? I don't really know how much time passed after I got grabbed... It's all sort of... screwy. All I can vividly recall were things right before we Reset. —At least, maybe that was right before we Reset.
Clearly telling that YN didn't have a clear recollection of things, Subaru obliged his fellow wayward traveling companion's request.
Subaru went on to tell YN of how after he was dragged away, Garfiel of all people had come to his aid. And that never once did he react to the Scent of the Witch being so fresh on them.
Subaru: —as far as Garfiel was pushed, he still felt duty bound to protect me since the Witch's shadow swallowed up everyone else...
It wasn't something YN had really expected to hear, Garfiel acting this way. Yet, that was far from the wildest thing he'd hear from Subaru.
Subaru: —and then after he refused to abandon me... that's when he fully committed to trying to escape from the Witch... he brought out his trump cards.
Explaining in detail, Subaru spoke about the nearly two dozen Ryuzu clones had come from the forest, and how Garfiel had used them as sacrifices, blowing themselves up in what Subaru thought was a way that turned themselves into mana, as their deaths yielded no gore.
Subaru: Garfiel said they were 'empty vessels' and weren't like Ryuzu herself... but it was still... bizarre to see him so haphazardly use them up like that.
In his full beast form, Garfiel had brilliantly coordinated the Ryuzu clones' explosions to thwart the Witch's defenses, yet his actions still proved immeasurable to the Witch's strength.
Garfiel fell to the Witch, and that left her alone with Subaru.
Subaru: I was just... so angry. She kept saying over and over at me, 'I love you, I love you.' I couldn't take it anymore, so I started yelling. I told her out of all the Witches, she was the least lovable, and that Echidna was way nicer.
YN: What good did that accomplish?
Subaru: A decent amount, actually. She stopped coming after me and just stood still.
Given what YN knew from his two interactions with the Witch, it was obvious to him that the "Witch of Envy" probably didn't like the idea of her "beloved" hearing he preferred other women.
YN: So, your words had some sway over her?
Subaru: Maybe?
Shrugging, Subaru went on.
Subaru: After that, she started begging me to love her. 'Love me, love me, love me.'
Waving off the repeated words like they were something dismissal-able even then, Subaru spoke more.
Subaru: —but that's when I told her that I hated her, and that I'd never love her.
YN: I can imagine she didn't feel too good about that...
Subaru: Yeah... She took the rejection so bad, she tried consuming me like she had everything else.
YN: So once she realized she couldn't have your heart, she decided no one could? Jeez, talk about a yandere...
Subaru: Hey now, I'm sure if the conditions were right, Rem too could be a yandere to match Envy.
YN: — — —
At first wondering if he'd crossed a line with YN, Subaru was relieved to see him return a weak expression in reply.
YN: You say that jokingly, but I'm sure you're completely correct.
With how deep Rem's infatuation was, her tendency to become tunnel visioned, and how frenzied she became with oni heritage, YN was certain given the right circumstances, Rem could probably become the ultimate yandere, even if it was of no fault of his own.
Subaru: I'm just going to pretend that look on your face doesn't scream 'I'm into that.'
While YN's mind pictured the blue haired oni he loved, he was brought back into the conversation by Subaru's jest.
YN: A-Anyway, is that how you died?
Subaru: — — —
Silent in reply, Subaru turned his attention back to Emilia, who still remained unconscious, and spoke a question in reply to YN's own.
Subaru: YN, we Return by Death when killed. That's thanks to the Witch of Envy. What do you think would happen if she herself killed us?
YN: — — —
Truthfully, YN didn't know. He had never considered that.
YN: I... I guess the same thing would happen? We'd just Return?
Subaru: Can you say that with complete confidence though? Would you risk everything on the chance that's not the case? Would you risk losing Rem on that gamble, never being able to wake her up?
YN: — — —
Silent once more, YN couldn't answer these questions either.
YN: ...Is this you getting at you didn't let her kill you? That you did everything in your power to let it be something else that killed you? Even... yourself?
Asking the hard questions, YN was met in reply to Subaru holding his own wrist up, the one that had Petra's handkerchief tied to it.
Subaru: I wouldn't say it was everything in my power, but that's about right.
Gesturing to it, YN knew exactly what he meant by that.
YN: When Echidna said that was filled with power... she did something to it, didn't she?
Almost speechless, YN's eyes were wide open at the notion such a thing had been anticipated by the Witch of Greed, as there was no other reason for it.
YN: W-What did it do? It must have been for something she knew would happen.
Subaru: At first, I thought it was something I could use against the Witch, but that only got me so far... In fact, maybe it had two purposes...
Thinking now with that same wrist's hand now at his chin, YN pushed for more answers, as his curiosity was piqued.
YN: 'Two purposes?' What were they?
Looking down at his hand, Subaru held his palm up to YN, mimicking what he had done.
Subaru: It was shining bright white. At first, I used it to make the Witch's shadows go away, but when I cut them all down to get to her face... It wasn't her face.
Recalling how Subaru had mentioned it may have been the Witch's "vessel," he once more saw how Subaru looked back at Emilia.
Subaru: Somehow, in some way, for some reason, the Witch took over Emilia's body and used that to go on her rampage.
Now also looking at Emilia, things seemed to make more sense.
YN: That's why she wasn't in the Tomb...
Subaru: That's about all our best guess is going to be on that. But after seeing her face... I froze up, and that's when she started to capture me in her shadows.
YN: That 'purpose' you're thinking of, you think it might be Echidna's way of showing you Emilia and The Witch are linked in some way?
Subaru: Maybe... They're both half-elves with silver hair and amethyst eyes... But I doubt that's a good enough reason for someone to just get possessed all of a sudden.
With no real avenue to venture down at the notion that Emilia and the Witch were connected, other than the Witch was involving herself with people who were in turn involved with Emilia, YN still sought more information.
YN: So, after she decided if you couldn't be hers, you couldn't be anyone's... and since you hadn't let her be the one to kill you...
Subaru: —I took the easy way out. All thanks to that power Echidna put in the handkerchief.
YN: That other purpose then... she also figured being killed by the Witch could pose a potential permanent end, so she equipped you with what you'd need to end things on your own terms.
Subaru: But you also realize what that means too, right?
YN: She would have only done that had she suspected something like that to occur. She jumped to the most brash conclusion and fully prepared the worst case... That seems a lot like something she'd do.
"Echidna was smart." YN had to give her that.
Shaking his head, Subaru lamented the entire situation.
Subaru: I guess I was dumb to think we could ever get away with telling anyone about Return by Death. In Echidna's Tea Party—, in her own realm, the Witch of Envy can't get in, so she'll just wait until we leave it to deal with us afterwards.
Turning to YN, Subaru gave him a weak smile.
Subaru: I guess you're still the only one who's allowed to know, since you too, remember things after death.
Somewhat taking solace he had a friend to experience the hell that was Return By Death alongside with, it was bittersweet for YN.
—or maybe the proper rule for it is 'allowed to directly tell.'
Delving his mood in guilt, YN kept a poker face to hide his true internal thoughts as a silence between the two wayward traveling companions brewed.
I really don't know if I should ever tell him Rem knew... It feels like it's been so long now, it would be a massive betrayal... But the longer I wait, or worse, if he finds out on his own... It could get really messy...
YN knew Echidna had figured out that Rem had been made aware of Return By Death. But it was apparent too she had also judged that Subaru finding out wasn't the best course of action as well.
Maybe Echidna knows something I don't... Maybe she wants to tell me whatever that is, and knows the Third Trial is the only time we can meet one on one...
Truthfully, given how the Witch reacted to Echidna learning about Return By Death, YN now feared if the Witch herself didn't exactly know about Rem either, just like how Subaru wasn't aware.
But she would know, right? I can trigger Punishments too if I try and tell someone about it... And that was true with Rem as well at one point... So why did it become okay? Was it just because she found out in a roundabout way? Why didn't the Witch go on a rampage then like she did now?
At an internal impasse, YN was snapped back to reality as Subaru spoke back up, stretching as he did to stand.
Subaru: The only conclusion we can readily draw is that the Witch really didn't like us telling Echidna about Return By Death, so she took over Emilia to wipe the slate clean. Now that we're in a Loop where we haven't jointly visited her, that technically never happened.
Looking up at Subaru, YN moved to stand too.
YN: But, what's to stop the Witch from just continuing that pursuit? Would Death really be enough to sate that anger she had?
Subaru: Maybe it wasn't anger. Maybe it was something else. All I know is that Emilia is herself now, and I'll take that.
Seemingly struggling with the idea that it had been Emilia's face Subaru had been forced to fear, YN admittedly could relate.
As he looked over to the half-elf, he could see the reason why Subaru now stood.
Emilia: No... No...
Mumbling in her unconscious condition, Emilia was reaching the part of her Trial that she always got hung up on.
YN: I'll let you two be.
Subaru: Thanks... It shouldn't be long. I know what to do for the most part now when she wakes up.
Considering he'd comforted her several times now waking up in this Tomb from her Trial, YN had confidence in Subaru.
Knelt before Emilia, ready to rouse her as she began to fidget about in displeasure, Subaru held out a single closed fist to YN.
Subaru: Thanks for being a pal. I'll meet you outside in a bit.
YN: Gotcha.
Lightly bumping his fist into Subaru's, YN turned to leave out of the chamber with his guilt renewed by Subaru's kind words of friendship to him. Should he have stayed any longer, or heard anymore, YN was fearful he'd be swallowed up by the guilt entirely.
As the dull sound of his shoes walking on the damp, earthy ground of the Tomb's tunnel echoed in his ears, YN shook his head.
I really am a bad person like Typhon said, aren't I?