Chapter 126: Tough Talk
Shuffling out of the Tomb on his own, YN went to walk to the edge where the steps to descend were, but from beyond his vision and before he could take the first step down—
Ram: —YN.
Having bounded up the stairs, faster than she had ever in any of the previous loops, the peach-haired maid YN knew well was right before him suddenly with an alarmed look on her face.
YN: R-Ram—?
Ram: —Are you injured? How bad and where are the wounds?
Just like every time before, Ram had fully expected YN to be rejected by the Trial like Roswaal had, but to her continued astonishment, as she grabbed his arms, lifting them, turning them over, and inspecting them, she found he was without injury.
Ram: ...How?
As he stood in place, unmoving, the maid went full circle around him, inspecting for any obvious lesions like what had encapsulated Roswaal's entire body. Making her way back to the front of him, Ram hastily grabbed his shirt collar to pull him down closer to her own height, which from there, she manually turned his head about, inspecting for even the smallest injury.
Ram: ...Nothing. There's... There's nothing. How is that possible...?
Talking a step back from him now, Ram's one exposed ruby eye seemed to glitter in the torchlight with a potential theory.
Ram: Unless—?
Simply nodding to the maid, her one visible eye became larger, in awe at YN. Quickly throwing a head-check behind her, looking for where Garfiel was, she re-approached YN and began to straighten his shirt collar. As she pushed his posture back to normal, the maid whispered to him.
Ram (whisper): Speak not a word of your Trial to anyone. Ram will come see you later.
The oni in her usual cunning self, had quickly recognized that YN's lack of injury and the lighting of the Tomb were all synonymous indications he had undergone the Trial, similar to how Emilia had too.
Ram's never been this concerned about me after coming out of the Tomb for the first time in a Loop... Is it because Subaru and I took longer to exit this time? We did talk for a while in there... Or maybe it's because I exited on my own this time? It's strange to say the least... She seems extra concerned over me. She understood that I took a Trial pretty much immediately, but she does that every Loop. I guess I better just go with the flow on this and maybe that'll clue me in to why it's different this time...
As Ram had let YN's condition and revelation overwhelm her thoughts, she gently shook her head, letting her peach hair sway as she regained her composure. Ram, as a maid, still had other pressing priorities too at this moment she needed to concern herself with.
Ram: Emilia-sama, and Barasu—
YN (whisper): —Both took the Trial too.
Ram, finally asking what she knew she should have started off with, nearly gasped at this second bombshell of information.
Ram (whisper): Barasu... as well?
Looking to her left and right, as if trying to quickly weigh her options on what to do with that additional thunderbolt of a fact, continued to whisper to YN.
Ram (whisper): R-Regardless, Emilia-sama; are there any issues relating to her?
YN: None.
Letting her responsibilities as a maid it felt slowly crumble due to the storm of confliction in her mind, Ram had to force herself to maintain her usual composure now. —Which, was something made even more difficult than usual due to the irregular mana replenishments she had been forced to deal with since the Mansion had been evacuated.
YN: While I don't think her Trial went well, Subaru and her were having a pretty emotional moment together, so they might be a little bit longer—
Ram: —Emilia-sama!
With her eye having caught the attention of something behind YN, Ram had taken only a second to identify who it was now also leaving the Tomb. While she gave YN one last side eye glance of unknown emotion, the oni let her maid-ly training take initiative, and went to tend to whom she had a responsibility to.
As YN turned now too, he was somewhat caught off-guard.
Emilia: I'm sorry to have kept everyone here so long... Subaru needed a little extra help.
Clearly with dried tears on his face, it was Emilia who was helping Subaru out of the Tomb, not the other way around like the black-haired boy had initially always rushed in to do.
Ram: How laborsome it must be to have to rescue the one who came to be a rescuer. Barasu, do you have no shame?
First sympathizing with Emilia, and then jabbing at Subaru, Ram took Subaru off the half-elf's shoulder and got him to fully support himself.
Subaru: Isn't this usually when the other person says 'Oh it's the thought that counts?'
Ram: If the 'thought' was running in to only make yourself look like a fool afterwards, then yes, it does count.
Subaru: *Sigh.*
Emilia: Subaru was just worried about me... The same goes for YN, he was worried about both of us...
Subaru: Wait a second, by that logic, Ram, shouldn't you be criticizing YN?!
Emilia: Well, YN probably saw you crying and didn't want to intrude...
Ram: —Hah!
Subaru: E-Emilia-tan!
Betrayed inadvertently by Emilia's airheadedness, Subaru was once more given the unequal treatment for efforts he'd come to expect.
But even in Emilia's unintended harm to Subaru's pride, the half-elf's kindness still shined through to redeem her knight-to-be.
Emilia: Subaru has saved me so many times already... it's only fair if I comfort him if he's upset too, right?
Looking to Subaru with a certain admirable twinkle in her eyes, Emilia went on.
Emilia: Besides... It was nice to see your more sensitive side... Sometimes you worry me because it feels like you hide it from me...
Making Subaru a bit flustered, he stuck his hands into his tracksuit's pockets and scuffed the ground with his shoe, a bashful expression on his face.
Subaru: If I don't, it's because I only want you to see the cool side of me... I hate looking more pathetic than I usually do, so it might be best if you just forgot what you saw...
Unable to keep eye contact with the half-elf, she quickly stepped before Subaru as his words tailed off and grabbed his hands with her own from out of his pockets, which startled him.
Subaru: —!
Emilia: Hey! We promised to be more honest with our feelings, right? I want to know if you're not feeling well, or if there's anything I can do to help, alright? I reeeeeeaally appreciate you worrying about me, so let me worry about you a little bit too, okay?
With a small tint of red going across Subaru's face, he failed to maintain eye contact again, but quickly restored it as he nodded to her, not wishing to deny Emilia.
Emilia: —and that goes for you too. I know things are hard for you too, with Rem still asleep and all... But I appreciate you both coming in after me. Even if it was just for me to fail... but I'm sure you've all recognized that by now...
At first he hadn't realized she had been speaking to him, but YN quickly perked up once he did.
YN: I'm sure you'll have more chances to overcome the Trial. What I think is worth noting though, is that Subaru didn't hesitate for a second and was the first to rush up into the Tomb, even knowing what sort of danger might lie ahead.
Wishing to keep his friend's spirits high from Emilia's words of praise and build upon them, it was shuddered by the maid standing to YN's side.
Ram: Yes, yes, Barasu may be brave, but he's still a fool and crybaby nonetheless.
YN: Nee-sama... don't you think he's been verbally punished enough at this point? 'Solt in the wounds' and what have you?
Weakly saying that to Ram, YN scratched the back of his head as he looked down to his side.
?: *Pant* Don't you two— *Pant* —get it?
Having just arrived up the long flight of stone steps now, the newcomer to this conversation said that as his distinct green hat had come into view from below.
Otto: —That's just how Ram-san is! She's more critical of Natsuki-san when he's done making her worry.
Hands on his knees, he leaned back to correct his posture as he also turned his attention to YN.
Otto: Although, with how lenient she is with you... maybe she's not that concerned about your safety—
Ram: —Did Ram not leap up here as fast as she could upon YN stepping out of the Tomb?
Trying to defend her own differences in action when it came to YN compared to Subaru, Ram inadvertently outed herself in how worried she had been for YN, something she had tried to conceal for her own reasons.
YN: You... 'leaped?'
Ram: —hk.
Snapping her head back to YN with her face nearly as pink as her hair, Ram turned her whole body away and crossed her arms.
Ram: R-Ram only anticipated you to be the one carrying Emilia-sama out of the Tomb is all. But it seems Barasu succeeded where you failed. F-Feel ashamed!
Subaru: Didn't you just insult me for being the one helped by Emilia-tan?! Which is it?!
Otto: Well, if we're being pragmatic... Ram-san was alarmed when Natsuki-san went in after Emilia-sama... She only started fervently pacing back and forth when YN-san got out of her reach —AIIIEE!
As the whipping sound of wind magic was let loose, Otto's green, feathered hat was blown from his head, and began it's tumble down the Tomb's stairs.
Ram: —Speak another word and Ram will make sure her wind knocks not only your hat down next time.
Getting the message to hold his tongue, should it further embarrass the oni, the merchant turned to chase his hat down the stony steps as he passed someone else just arriving at the top now.
Garfiel: Alright, alright. We've made sure everyone is right as rain.
*Smack*
Subaru: —Gah...
Giving Subaru a "friendly" pat on the back, Garfiel went about moving everything along.
Garfiel: Ya done being doted on by the women? Good.
Subaru: Ugh... I wouldn't have called it 'doting...'
Garfiel: Whatever yous wanna call it, it sits better with me than what they're giving him.
Gesturing to YN with his thumb as he gave Subaru a few more rough pats on the back, the golden-haired youth glared at him.
Garfiel: I'd be tempted to say it's makin' me queasy. *Spit.*
With spit landing at YN's feet in his disgust, it was clear Garfiel still wasn't too much of a fan of Ram acting friendly to him.
Still though, YN knew both him and Subaru had just Returned by Death twice now in a short period time, meaning that more than likely, their levels of Miasma upon them now was probably the greatest Garfiel had smelled in any Loop.
—But I doubt that. Even if I hadn't had Rem to tell me it would be impossible for Garf to smell the Witch's Scent on us, his behavior now doesn't reflect that he does. And based on how Subaru described his actions in just the last Loop, Garf definitely didn't smell something alarming enough to treat us as a threat like he has in other Loops later on.
Gambling on it, YN pushed the envelope.
YN: You sure it's not a certain smell making you nauseous?
Giving YN a side-eye look, he watched as Garfiel turned his head back to YN, giving it a small tilt as he did.
Garfiel: Huh? That you sayin' you wanna take a bath? Well, it can wait. We's all got stuff to talk about still. Let's wrap things up here and move to the Princess-sama's dwellin'.
Continuing to give YN a side-eye as Emilia and Ram turned to follow Garfiel down the steps, their exchanged look communicated one key piece of information;
—Garfiel definitely can not smell the Witch on us.
The question they had now though only deepened the mystery of the Sanctuary before them: "Who had smelled it, and then told him?"
Things ultimately proceeded how they always did upon getting Emilia to her shack, where the discussion about the Trial took place. Emilia was encouraged to rest by Ram, while Subaru and YN simply kept answers vague when asked by Garfiel or Ryuzu. After enough talking, Garfiel would proclaim that Emilia would just need to try tomorrow, and Ryuzu would agree.
As the two left, Ram began preparations for Emilia to get some much needed bed rest, which involved kicking out the two remaining guests. Yet, Subaru did plead his case that he still needed to talk to Emilia, which after enough bickering, Ram agreed to if Emilia wasn't too tired by the time she was done attending to her.
Led to the front porch to wait, Ram locked the door, and shut the blinds "lest Barasu decides to peep on Emilia-sama."
Alone now, Subaru and YN were given the rare chance to speak in private of things they needed to. Being quick about it, Subaru explained in better detail of what had led up to him being kidnapped by Garfiel, two Loops ago now.
He had been abducted for simply telling Garfiel and Ryuzu he had passed the First Trial. Since he had told them with no other witnesses around though, this was why they had decided to knock him out in this instance. However, he did mention too that during that private meeting Ryuzu had used a different variation of her name, and that it was different from how she had introduced herself before.
When Subaru had woken up, he had been brought before Roswaal, where he had learned of the existence of his Gospel and why all these awful things had been orchestrated, just like he had told YN about when the two had first arrived in Echidna's Tea Party. From there, it had enraged Subaru to the point he had tried striking Roswaal, which in turn had only earned him a sucker-punch from Garfiel. After being knocked out for a second time, that was when Subaru had found himself held hostage, bound, gagged, and restrained until he was rescued.
In reply, YN informed Subaru of what little had occurred while he was held captive. Ultimately, he had very little he could tell the black-haired boy about. Unlike Subaru, YN hadn't figured out anything on his own.
Subaru thus far had done all the heavy detective work since being trapped in the Sanctuary, and was responsible for most, if not all of their advancement in understanding their situation and working to get past it all.
YN: I feel incredibly useless... I haven't done a thing to help so far... You've been doing all the information finding and all you've gotten for it is suffering.
Frustrated in their position and himself, YN shook his head.
Subaru: That's not true at all. If it wasn't for you, who knows how badly Garfiel could have messed up Otto and Emilia when we first got here. Not to mention you played a pretty important part in letting Ram coordinate my escape. Even if those weren't 'winning' Loops, because of you, I was able to learn more on how to get around our problems.
While he couldn't fault Subaru, he still felt most useless, a sensation that lingered from Rem's erasure.
Shaking his head, YN knew it was pointless to dwell on the topic any longer when there were obstacles still before them.
YN: Roswaal played us like a damn fiddle.
Subaru: You're telling me...
YN: To think he'd have a Gospel of all people... just like Beatrice. What's up with that? Why them?
Shrugging in reply, Subaru could only theorize.
Subaru: Something tells me it has to do with the Library that Beako guards, but I have no clue.
At an impasse again, YN bore his continued frustration poorly.
YN: How could Roswaal just abandon Rem to Gluttony like that? She's an essential part of the camp... so why—?
Subaru: —His Gospel made no mention of her.
YN: Huh?
Somewhat stunned to hear that, YN looked over to Subaru with his brow furrowed
Subaru: I asked him the same thing, trying to understand what would make him do such dangerous and self-depreciating things just because a book told him... He told me he had never read of Rem being mentioned.
YN: — — —
Truthfully, YN didn't know if that was good or a bad thing.
YN: On one hand, that means he didn't forsake Rem... I don't know how her or Ram would react if he had done so intentionally... But on the other hand, that seems a little too convenient, given these 'Gospels' have a purpose to get their owner to their desired outcome.
Subaru: Are you saying it might be that the Gospel purposely didn't mention Rem?
YN: Maybe. That or the Authority of Gluttony changed it as part of its power. Now, whether or not that was intentional, I don't think we'll ever have a chance of knowing until Rem wakes up and things go back to how they should be.
Subaru: Regardless, there's a lot of stuff to figure out before then. That's just part of it.
YN: Yeah... I suppose you're right.
Sitting back up straight, YN had been leaning on the rotting wood railing of the shack's mostly enclosed porch when he and Subaru both heard the lock of the front door be undone.
Ram: Are the two of you still out here? Do neither of you have anything better to do?
As her peach hair hung out of the partially opened door, Ram passed her eyes from YN to Subaru before stepping more into view, revealing she held two warm cups of tea, one in each hand.
Subaru: W-Wait, Ram, I still wanted to talk to Emilia-tan still—
Ram: —Emilia-sama is far too exhausted to try and comprehend whatever drivel it is you wish to discuss with her. She would simply tell you the same thing Ram is.
Subaru: My Emilia-tan would never reject me!
Offended at the very thought, Subaru's exclamation was met by an answer by the one he spoke of.
Emilia: I guess if you really want to talk, I'll do my best to hear you out.
Ram: Emilia-sama.
Appearing behind Ram in the doorway, the sleepy-eyed half-elf in her nightgown spoke in response.
Subaru: E-Emilia-tan!
With her employer's sponsor right behind her, Ram moved out of the way, and stepped out onto the patio, joining Subaru and YN outside now.
Emilia: I can't promise I'll be able to stay awake though... I'm worried if you go on about stuff I don't understand, it'll put me to sleep...
Hearing her say that, a small remembrance of this sort of behavior out of Emilia was re-awoken in YN's mind.
That really was something I'm glad Rem never did... She was always willing to listen to me no matter what it was, even if it was something she wasn't familiar with. She'd just want to know all about it.
While he was glad Rem had never exhibited the behavior of willful ignorance, he did feel pity for Subaru.
Emilia also seems to do that to Subaru only for the most part too... I couldn't deal with that.
Ram: Ram would like to advise Emilia-sama to not entertain Barasu's obvious attempt at seduction while you're more vulnerable.
Subaru: I-I'm not some scummy opportunist!
Ram: Lies.
Scoffing at his perceived intentions, Ram it seemed was fully intending to deny Subaru any audience with the one he loved.
Ram: What could even be so important to speak of that robs Emilia-sama of much needed rest?
Subaru: I just wanted to talk more about what happened in the Tomb...
Clearly doing little to persuade the maid, YN stepped in for the sake of his friend, knowing Subaru would do the same for him too.
YN: Nee-sama, maybe just give him a little bit of time? If Emilia-sama needs to sleep in a little extra longer tomorrow, that should be okay, right? The Trial doesn't occur until sundown anyway.
Looking to YN, at first he thought the look in Ram's single visible eye was refusal, but just as it softened a bit, she spoke.
Ram: YN does not think Barasu will overburden her?
Emilia: Ram, I'll be fine. It's okay.
Sighing at Emilia's own brash acceptance of Subaru's desire to speak, Ram replied.
Ram: Very well, Emilia-sama. But Ram will be staying here until Barasu leaves, if only to make sure he doesn't do anything deplorable and doesn't overstay his welcome.
Nodding at the oni's condition, Emilia opened the door more to invite Subaru inside.
Emilia: If that's what it takes to get your approval, okay.
Subaru: Ya know Emilia-tan... it is you who has the final say, not Ram.
Emilia: I'm aware, but everyone should find ways to get along, right?
Subaru: *Sigh* I should have expected you to answer that way...
Proceeding inside, just as Emilia was about to close the door, Ram barked one final warning to Subaru.
Ram: Barasu. Too long and Ram will not hesitate to drag you out of there herself. Understand?
With only a single raised hand from the black haired boy as acknowledgement, Emilia wished Ram and YN a goodnight, and shut the door.
Now alone with Ram on the front porch, YN was uncertain of what he should do now, but was quickly given an answer.
Ram: — — —
Unable to see her expression from the side he stood to her thanks to her bangs, Ram wordlessly presented one of the cups of tea she held to him, still warm enough to lightly steam.
YN: O-Oh, thank you.
Holding the remaining cup with both of her hands now, Ram took a sip from it.
Ram: Bleh...
Hearing her disapprove of her own brewed cup, YN took a sip from his own cup in curiosity.
It's nothing like how Rem used to make... but it's not distasteful...
Seeing YN's lack of reaction to the tea like she had, Ram turned to him and spoke finally.
Ram: This cup had been meant for Barasu, so it was brewed from whatever leaves Ram found lying on the ground. However, she does find it wasteful to just pour it out...
Clearly indicating that YN's had been made of actual tea leaves, he felt guilty since ultimately, he couldn't enjoy it no matter how high quality they were.
YN: We can switch if you want. I don't mind.
Looking down at the cup she had already taken a sip of, and looking at YN's which he had also taken a drink from, Ram's face turned slightly scarlet at the notion of trading now.
Trying to hide her expression, Ram hastily turned to face the railing of the porch, and poured the tea out onto the ground
Ram: P-Perhaps it is for the better Ram does not drink such tea only fit for Barasu.
Extinguishing the possibility of YN taking a drink of her own cup, and halting the temptation she felt of also taking a drink from YN's by doing so, Ram kept the confliction she felt in her mind about him from boiling over like the tea originally almost had when brewing the cup made specifically for him.
With Ram tea-less now, YN felt it rude to sit and enjoy his own. Halfway copying Ram, he turned to face the patio's railing too, but gulped down the tea in one go, making them both tea-less.
Ram: Ram wonders, is it just as wasteful to force down something you don't enjoy, all so that you don't throw it out?
Placing the empty cup on the railing while she said that, YN answered the maid's recognition of his displeasure.
YN: All I've been doing is 'forcing things down' since Rem fell asleep...
Ram also now moved to lean on the railing, but did so with her back facing it, enabling YN at the very least to now see her face, unobstructed by her bangs. Folding her arms, she responded.
Ram: Emilia-sama told Ram earlier she was worried about you. Apparently you haven't been eating much of anything at all.
Shamed for his ways, YN could only shake his head and weakly look out to the dark forest beyond what was lit up by torches.
YN: I got spoiled by Rem's cooking, everything else just isn't very good by any measure... But I will admit, had that been anyone else's tea, I don't think I could have tolerated it all.
Underhandedly complementing her with that, a silence began to grow between the two now. In this quietness, YN looked over to Ram.
Deep in thought herself, the confliction in her head was at a fever pitch. As the soft light from nearby torches danced across her peach hair, YN couldn't help but let his eyes rest peacefully upon her figure.
The softness of her features, her stature, the depiction of her hair, and even the glint of kindness in her eyes were like a sweet release to the most tired parts of YN's psyche.
Rem...
But, even while Ram was deep in near-paralyzing thought, YN's intense stare still felt heavy on her.
Finally seeing she was currently the object of his eye, Ram felt a hot rush quake her entire body free from the prison of not only her conflicted mind, but of the ambient pain she felt as a result of her disability.
Her face scarlet, Ram croaked out words to the one who so looked at her.
Ram: M-May Ram inquire why your gaze is so... intense?
YN: —!
Snapping YN out of his transfixation, he realized what he was doing now, having been a prisoner of his own mental state for a moment there.
Ram: Your look is... bordering on disgraceful towards Ram...
Ram had always touted herself as knowing she was adorable, and she really was. Her and her sister both were beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous. But Ram could not ever recall a time she had been stared at by someone in a way that was more than just being oogled at lustfully.
Inside Ram, she knew there could only be two possibilities for this.
Logicality, her best reasoning told her it had to do with her near identical appearance with the woman YN had professed to loving. After all, it was obvious she was on his mind at this moment.
Yet, the other half of herself, —a half that longed to be longed for, wished it for it to be something more in such an intense way. The gaze upon her had reality warping powers it felt, that matched in strength even Ram's most rooted sensibilities.
Truth be told, there was a part of Ram that wished for nothing more than to have caught YN in her charms, but at the same time, loathed that outcome, as it felt like a betrayal to her dear sister, whom she had been told adored her greatly.
Even as more fuel was added to the storm of confliction in the oni's mind, YN had finally choked out an answer to Ram's words as he painfully averted his eyes from her figure.
YN: M-My apologies...
Somewhat embarrassed at his own carelessness, he still found it impossible to take his eyes off the maid. While he no longer was only focused on her single visible ruby-red eye, his vision fell lower as other than her head, most everything else about her physically was even more identical to Rem.
The detached sleeves of their maid uniform, their aproned-skirt, the exposed shoulder and back, the tiny glimpse of thigh just above their stockings which then clipped into their garter belt...
All of it was greatly identical to one another between the twins. Of course, spare their hair colors, the other most notable difference between them was—
Ram: —Does Ram need to move to the other side of the patio?
Hugging her own body, her hands and arms, she covered primarily the area of loose cloth upon her chest that was normally filled out as far as the fabric would let on Rem. Taking a half step away as she did, while YN could tell Ram was only teasing, he hadn't a clue she only really did so out of worry for him, not because she was actually uncomfortable.
YN: I-I'm sorry...
Finally taking his vision away from the peach-haired maid, YN's slightly embarrassed, blushed face admittedly gave Ram some relief too.
Ram: Do not worry... While that gaze of yours was certainly unexpected... it wasn't entirely unwelcome...
Having to be honest about it, Ram steered her next words to avoid YN asking on it as she desired to change the topic.
Ram: It is just that... Ram is curious about something. Whenever YN looks upon her as of late, he ends up being more distant with his words and feelings. Ram would think that maybe all YN sees in her is Rem...
Before YN could answer to that though, the sound of the shack's front door opening shuttered any privacy they had to continue this topic.
Exiting outside onto the porch, Subaru could feel the intense atmosphere he had walked into.
Subaru: I-I'm not interrupting anything here, am I?
From hugging her body to crossing her arms, Ram shifted her tone as Subaru looked primarily to her, as her body language seemed the most out of place for what he expected to find.
Ram: —And your gaze is entirely unwelcome.
Subaru: —Tch!
Ram: —Foul. Drop dead, Barasu.
Perhaps taking her frustration of being interrupted out on him, Subaru could only plead his case to the jury, or namely, just YN.
Subaru: That's entirely uncalled for! What have I even done?!
Feeling his innocence was being trampled on, Subaru hung his shoulders in defeat as Ram could only snort at him and give him her shoulder.
YN: So uhhh—
Not wishing for anyone to be upset, YN now sought to be the one to change topics.
YN: —how did your talk with Emilia go? Everything okay?
Only wishing to be supportive of his friend in his endeavors with the one he fancied, Subaru calmed his demeanor and nodded.
Subaru: It went alright. I did cut it short though because I wouldn't want Emilia-tan to be kept awake, worrying if Ram would brow-beat me. Which that does bring me to what I wanted to talk about out here now.
Putting his hands in his pocket, Subaru turned his attention to Ram with a more serious expression than before.
Subaru: So can I ask about it? Or are you not done acting like how Roswaal dresses yet?
Ram: — — —
Causing a rather drastic change in tone, the maid answered him whilst crossing her arms still.
Ram: Ara, is that Barasu's creative way of calling Ram a clown?
With a conversational derailment imminent, YN halfway stepped between the two, and gestured with both hands hoping to get their perceived hostilities of one another to he quelled.
YN: Alright, alright... Let's not get side tracked. Subaru, I can tell you have a serious question for Ram, so why not just ask it without the extra sass, okay?
Subaru: You're right, I do have a question I'd like answered. *Sigh.*
Trying his best to calm himself down, Ram only doubled down in poking fun at Subaru.
Ram: Now matter how earnestly you ask, Ram will not indulge your sick curiosity.
Subaru: —tch! Just what do you think I was going to ask, huh?!
YN: Nee-sama, please...
Pleading now with Ram, the groundskeeper turned mediator tried his best at keeping the tentative peace.
Ram: *Sigh* Fine, very well. But Ram fears she will have to bathe for days after this to rectify her dignity.
YN had managed just enough sway over Ram to get her to cooperate. Motioning for Subaru to go ahead, he figured what he wanted to ask surely had to do with trying to figure out a solution to their problems at hand in this Loop.
Subaru: What would it take for Garfiel to leave the Sanctuary?
Somewhat caught off guard by the topic of his inquiry, Ram repeated the question to herself as she put a hand to her chin.
Ram: —Garf may be persuaded to leave if Ram herself implored him enough to...
Subaru: ...Is he really a 'love is my one weakness' kind of guy?
Saying this, YN and Subaru both exchanged a knowing glance shared between only them. It took a moment, but they each knew that couldn't be the case, as Garfiel in his transformed state had tried slaughtering Ram alongside the other Arlem villagers.
YN: A-Are you sure about that, Nee-sama?
In rare form, at YN's own skepticism, Ram second guessed herself.
Ram: ...Ram seriously doubts it in all reality. While Garf does fancy my adorable self, he has other priorities... His heart is already set on something else.
With his solution meeting another dead-end in the form of information he didn't have, Subaru crossed his arms.
Subaru: And what is that?
YN could tell Subaru was close to perhaps forging a path and plan for this Loop, but it seemed this one hiccup was beginning to turn into a snag that kept that notion from advancing.
Ram: Ram will not say.
YN: Nee-sama, please...
Ram: It is conceited to speak and summarize someone else's heart. Garf's heart belongs to himself and himself alone.
Turning her stonewalled gaze back to Subaru, the maid concluded herself.
Ram: Go ask of him yourself.
Flat out denying them the path forward it felt, Subaru and YN exchanged a quick glance again. They each knew asking Garfiel such an in-depth enquiry out of the blue was out of the question. That would be a surefire way of incurring his anger again in this Loop, which was something they both realized they needed to avoid doing.
Subaru: —tsk.
Slumping his shoulders, YN could see Subaru was ready to give up on this avenue of discovery altogether based on how he knew it was pointless for him to plead further with Ram.
And YN knew it was equally as futile for him to try the same thing as well.
Yet—
YN: Ram—,
—that's why he wasn't going to plead. YN was going to do something Subaru stood no chance in doing with Ram.
YN: —you shouldn't throw stones in a glass house.
Playing hardball.
Inside him, YN knew he had to be useful where Subaru wasn't if they ever hoped of getting past these struggles they faced in the Sanctuary. And even more so if he wanted to wake Rem up.
And if that meant giving even Ram some tough love...
Ram: That's... quite the bold thing to say to someone you like to refer to as 'Nee-sama.' Ram would like to know what you mean.
Subaru could feel a drastic change of tone and atmosphere was taking place on the little shack's patio, and it was made especially dramatic since it came from between two people he hadn't expected to cause this.
YN: You're somehow being just as conceited as you say you don't want to be.
Re-crossing her arms and shifting her weight from one foot to the other, Ram's expression grew to be one that seemed to actually hold a hint of disdain for YN's words.
Ram: YN certainly has something to back that up, yes? Blurting out baseless accusations is a trait of Barasu, not you.
YN: — — —
A moment of tense silence passed between YN and Ram as a calm night time breeze dusted itself across the patio. With Subaru more or less standing between the two off to the side, he couldn't help eyeing them both, looking left and right, as if waiting for something dramatic to happen.
Ram: — — —
Ram deep inside herself knew YN wasn't the kind to bluff or showboat these sorts of things, so she didn't expect that now. Rather, all she could do was prepare for what he had to say.
YN: Ram. The people who put Rem in a coma were following their own hearts, guided by their Gospels.
Ram: And?
YN: Were you ever going to tell us about Roswaal's Gospel? Or were we just supposed to 'go and ask ourselves?'
Growing wide eyed, Subaru looked to YN with nearly completely dilated pupils.
How can he bring THAT up here?! Is he crazy?!
While Subaru stared at YN in disbelief, Ram stared daggers at him. The maid couldn't have ever guessed this was what he was getting at. Hell, she couldn't have even guessed how he had come to learn that.
Ram: —And just where did you hear that from?
Speaking lowly in a tone she'd never used against YN, he could tell she was extremely unhappy now.
Oh she's pissed at him...
Wondering if YN had just squandered his good standing with Ram over this, Subaru felt like he was about to collapse from the intense pressure the oni now had.
YN: — — —
Choosing to remain silent to her question, Subaru understood why YN was holding his tongue. If he brought that up, even if he omitted the mention of Return By Death, it would just be a recipe for making Ram more angry.
Ram: ...Do I need to hurt you?
Now moving to vague threats, Subaru felt they were ultimately empty. YN might have never dealt with an extremely angry Ram, but Subaru had.
Subaru: You don't mean that. You like him way too much to do that.
Ram: Ram is wondering if she needs to reconsider that.
Not breaking her death stare at YN whilst answering Subaru, she continued to speak without looking away from YN.
Ram: Barasu. Kindly leave us.
With so much seriousness in her voice, Subaru truly felt he should stay as support for—
Ram: —Now.
Subaru: A-Ah... Okay...
Having no room he felt he could argue, Subaru slipped behind YN, and walked down the two steps of the porch. Without looking back, Subaru walked the path illuminated by the lit torches into the rest of the Sanctuary. Waiting until he was gone from sight, Ram returned her cold attention to YN, getting right back at it with a blunt question.
Ram: Is what you saw in the Tomb the cause of this?
Already aware YN had taken the Trial by how he had returned unscathed from the Tomb, Ram kept her narrowed eyes on him as in rare form, and unbeknownst to her, he bluffed.
YN: Let's just say it's enabled me to learn a lot of stuff.
Ram: Oh? Like what? You sure seem to be hinting that you know a great deal of things you shouldn't. So why not share with your dear Nee-sama?
Practically snarling as she said that, YN took a deep breath as he prepared to answer.
YN: We both know you aren't clueless. You're aware that *everything* has been Roswaal's doing. And he's been doing it because his Gospel told him to.
Holding a hand up, YN did so to list these things in hopes the impact would draw home his point better.
YN: He *hired* the Bowel Hunter to steal Emilia's Royal Election Insignia. He—
Ram: —Nothing is Roswaal-sama's fault.
Cutting off YN before he could even get past one piece of damning evidence, Ram went on.
Ram: Ram does not care if YN lists a thousand of his sins, for it will not matter. Roswaal-sama does all that he does for his goal—, a goal higher than what you or myself can even properly fathom.
YN: His 'goal?' Ram, do you even plan on telling me what that is? Or will that again be too conceited for you to say? Should I just 'go ask him myself?'
Ram: — — —
Silent in reply to YN now, his rebuttal was a product of Ram forgetting YN didn't hold Roswaal in the same high regard as she did, especially not after learning what he was responsible for, so her words were much less tactful than she had hoped.
What troubled Ram now, was she knew her faith in Roswaal had been higher than it had been right now, but she knew not what was the source of its waning now. Certainly the confliction she still felt in her head relating to all this wasn't enough to in turn cause her doubt, right? Ram's loyalty was second to none, so why now? Why was she finding her resolve to be so fragile now?
YN: Ram. Roswaal not only planned this whole Sanctuary excursion in part to force Emilia to face the Trial, but he's also crafted the situation to keep our attention divided between the Trials, Garf, the coming disaster, and what's going on at the Mansion—
Ram: —What is YN going on about now? A 'great disaster?' Are you some sort of fortune teller now? With how secluded the Sanctuary is, pray tell, what such a thing could happen here of all places?
YN: The Great Hare.
Ram: Hah!
Finding his words preposterous, Ram's demeanor gained the same smug persona as when she would normally put Subaru in his place.
Ram: How could YN ever hope to say he knows such a thing could—
YN: —Roswaal's. Gospel. You know as well as I do that if you asked him right now, he'd acknowledge it.
Ram: — — —
Ultimately, Ram knew YN wasn't bluffing. To say something so bold, and have it not be factual wasn't something he'd do unless he was absolutely sure.
YN: His goals are endangering everyone here without a second thought, —you and I included.
With the logic that not only she could be hurt, but YN too, someone Ram did genuinely care for, the crashing wave of momentum one side had over the other in her conflicted mind was brought to a harsh stop.
Yet, this only brought her tensions back to the status quo in her mind.
Ram: You're... YN is still asking Ram to go against Roswaal-sama's wishes, something that is a core belief of her own... What would YN do had Ram asked him to go against Rem's will? Sure then, he could—
YN: —You seriously don't get it, do you?
In rare form, YN spoke over Ram's words, making her blink twice in surprise.
YN: People here aren't the only ones in danger, Ram. Roswaal's ambitions are meant to have wide reaching consequences. Sanctuary is only half of what the problem is.
Ram: ...And this other half?
YN: If you'd had let me finish... it's the Mansion.
Ram: —? 'The Mansion?' Is YN conflating that Frederica being a traitor with not going along with... whatever it is you're trying to do here?
YN: The Bowel Huntress that Roswaal hired in the Capitol is still hired. It's her goal to kill everyone at the Mansion.
Ram: — — —
Unblinking, Ram remained silent.
YN: —Everyone. Everyone in the Mansion. Frederica, Beatrice, Petra...
Tightening his hands into fists, YN breathed in sharply as Ram swallowed a bit of her own pride.
YN: —and Rem too.
Seeing the frustration on his face, Ram had actually begun to regret her bullish words of devotion to Roswaal's goal.
Could Ram honestly live with endangering so much? —To people who were also immensely important to her?
YN: Rem is going to die, because Roswaal doesn't care about anything other than his Goals.
YN boldly drove home his greatest point he could hope to offer against Ram's near-blind allegiance to Roswaal. Yet even as he did—
—It's still not enough. It won't ever be, it seems.
While he could easily see the conflicting in her through her ruby eyes, it was still just that, confliction.
Not an epiphany.
Not a change of course.
And certainly not alteration in her resolve.
Even as Ram remained conflicted, although much more heavily now, YN lacked what strength that was needed to push her in the right direction.
—It seems no matter what, be it an after-effect of Gluttony, or Roswaal's own manipulation... There isn't anything I can do to persuade Ram otherwise.
With other powers simply outside of his ability to effect holding things as they were, YN had no choice but to move and step past the now frozen in place oni.
Stopping as he stood to her flank, Ram listened as YN spoke, neither looking at one another.
YN: You're going to need to pick a side sooner or later. Either Rem, you, and me are going to die, or you'll have to defy Roswaal. You won't get a good outcome by avoiding either.
With a few more steps, YN was around Ram, and had taken his first few paces onto the ground from the two short steps leading up to the patio they had been on. Going to continue onward into the nighttime Sanctuary, Ram's words to him were barely audible.
Ram: —It would never come to that.
Still obviously in deep confliction, it was only her pride in devotion that made her say this, as there was no motivation behind her words. As YN peered over his shoulder one last time, the maid still hadn't moved, and turning back to where he was headed, he left Ram with only a few more words of his own, —a warning of sorts.
YN: If you keep this up, it might even be you that Roswaal gets to end Rem and I both. After all, 'he does no wrong,' and 'you would forgive him...' Right?
Walking out into the night, past where the torches lit, YN left Ram to stew in her own pot of confliction, where it seems she was bound to stay in eternal limbo should nothing monumental ever be done to bring her out of it. For better or for worse—, for one side or the other.
Unbeknownst to YN however, he wasn't the only one having an intense talk of sorts this evening.
His fellow wayward traveling companion had also been roped into a discussion whilst YN had been in his. Speaking with Garfiel, one chief topic had come up, namely, that Subaru was aware of the Ryuzu clones. After much back and forth, Subaru had more or less told Garfiel he would unravel the secrets of the Sanctuary, and that in the end, he meant neither it, or Garfiel himself any harm or hostility. Shirking the golden-haired youth, Subaru was set on that notion; uncover what he wasn't aware of.
Subaru: Oi.
Patiently awaiting YN, the black-haired boy leaned against the door to the shack the groundskeeper and him were staying in whilst hostage here. Arms crossed and a look of determination on his face, he had somewhat caught YN off-guard, given he was still mulling his discussion with Ram.
YN: To what do I owe this pleasure?
Gesturing with a tilt of his head, Subaru descended the steps and met YN on even ground.
Subaru: You up for a little sleuthing?
Really all YN could do was shrug at the suggestion.
YN: What else do I have to do at what's probably one o'clock in the morning?
Subaru: That's the spirit.
Walking off, YN followed suit with Subaru to wherever it was he intended to go.
I guess he does seem pretty motivated. Hopefully wherever it is we're going, this pans out into us finding out more info...