Chapter 139: What You Don't Know

Staying behind, YN and Ram were left to await the completion of Emilia's Trial. In truth, not long after Subaru had departed from the Sanctuary with Otto and Garfiel, the lights on the Tomb went dim, and with both of her onlookers holding their breath in anticipation, out walked Emilia.

Without a tear on her face, or any other indication that she had faced another insurmountable past, the half-elf bore them both a smile of welcoming spirit. At this, her remaining onlookers rushed up the steps to greet her.

YN & Ram: Emilia-sama!

Still too concerned with her well-being to even gasp for air after running up the steep sets of stone each, they awaited the Candidate's word with silence.

Emilia: —It's done.

YN & Ram: — — —

A wound up amount of tension was still in the air at her open ended conclusion. Any hint of doubt could interpret these words in a number of ways. With a knife, one could cut the thickness of the atmosphere here.

Emilia: This time... I was triumphant.

Scattered was the static in the air, and a release of pressure was followed by the feeling of that shared triumphant to her two onlookers.

Emilia: While I appreciate the two of you being here... is there a reason everyone else, —especially Subaru, isn't here?

Almost wounded by their absence, Emilia asked this with a nervous hand over her chest, as if going to clasp the crystal that had once hung around her neck for comfort, only to remember it was no longer there.

YN: Some rather serious things came up... There was a problem only Otto, Garf, and Subaru could attend to. Back at the Mansion, no less.

Emilia: I... I see... It was something that couldn't be ignored I suppose... Although, I wish they could have stayed until I had finished... All that talk and preparation for them to simply not be here at the end...

YN could easily spot Emilia's more childlike tendencies here. In good sport of being his friend's best confidant when it came to Emilia, YN cleared his throat before trying to smooth that over.

YN: It's entirely in their faith in you that they felt comfortable with leaving to deal with the impending issue. They were confident you'd be successful.

Emilia: I guess you're right to say that. Sometimes he makes me wonder if he really does love me...

Speaking of Subaru's truest feeling, ones that YN knew were an absolute fact, he wasn't about to let this doubt slip past his watch.

YN: Subaru's feelings for you are deeper than the lowest holler, and higher than the trees growing out on the far off hills.

Giggling at YN's rather eccentric choice of words, Emilia was nonetheless totally reassured by them.

Emilia: That's a poetic way of putting it. Thank you for that.

With the ongoing exchange between them though, YN had realized Ram had been rather quiet. Suspiciously so.

Just as the groundskeeper was about turn to her and see why that maybe was—

Ram: —!

Before another word could be said, it was the maid herself who stepped forward to the silver-haired girl.

Ram: Emilia-sama... I... I must sincerely apologize.

Bowing her head, this sudden notion had caught both YN and Emilia off guard.

Emilia: Umm... Ram?

Ram: Until now, Ram has been faithless in her belief that Emilia-sama would overcome this hardship, —to pass the Trial she had so struggled with, but had stubbornly continued to attempt.

At this admission, to YN, it made sense Ram would originally come to this conclusion.

Ram's a person who requires evidence of something to find belief in it... It's no surprise she'd been feeling this way about Emilia... But why bring this up now?

Clearly, Ram was setting up for something she had not even informed him of.

Ram: Your moral had been entirely destroyed... the Great-Spirit-sama had left you... and your faith in Barasu had wavered. Ram truly believed you had no chance at overcoming this Trial... yet that has been disproven to her.

YN: Nee-sama, if that's true, why did you help us with Garfiel? All that was paramount to Emilia-sama passing her Trial.

Looking back to YN for a moment before returning to her bow to Emilia, Ram answered him.

Ram: I simply saw it originally as an investment to a better future with no risk on Ram's side of things... But after you declared your intention to make peace with, and help Garf, that was when Ram had begun to see efforts in a new light.

Emilia: Those were still all efforts that led me to where I am now, —having overcome the First Trial. Regardless, Ram, you helped me, and I'm thankful for that... Really I am, no matter your original intention. I'm happy for you though to have found more worth to it.

As an air of bashfulness went across her face as she said that, Emilia went on.

Emilia: —But, it's unlike you to say these things about yourself in this way... So—?

Ram: It is important that one should demonstrate their sincerity before asking a selfish request.

Falling to one knee, Ram put forth her utmost genuine self for Emilia to hear out.

Ram: Emilia-sama, please... help Roswaal-sama.

Her amethyst eyes opening wide to this request, Emilia could only whisper an echo of the ending part in immediate reply.

Emilia: 'Help Roswaal...?'

Looking back to YN one more time in a brief glance, Ram lowered her head to Emilia once more as she elaborated.

Ram: It was YN that helped Ram realize that the way these events are being shaped, not only are they going against Roswaal-sama's Gospel, —to its writ, but that if things continue as they do, his desperation to make these words of prophecy come true still will only end in him becoming a hollow husk of the person he once was.

Emilia: That... Is that not unavoidable though?

A pained expression went across Ram's lowered face at this being said.

Ram: At first, there was a pact made between Ram and Roswaal-sama... Should the world ever diverge from the Gospel's writ, Roswaal-sama would surrender himself to Ram.

Looking back up to Emilia now, Ram's face was showing a rare shape; one of somberness as she retold these feelings she had kept inside for so long.

Ram: At one point... Ram would have been overjoyed with just that... Or even if things had kept a steady course, —a status quo, Ram would have been happy being no more than a tool for Roswaal-sama's will. —Just to feel needed by him...

Retelling how she had once been, Ram had already spoken to YN of how her heart had come to a change, and now, she would stay true to that change.

Ram: It was YN though who showed Ram's heart that such a path was not one she truly desired.

Leaving her innermost thoughts unspoken now, Ram still spoke of her change to Emilia.

Ram: No longer does Ram think all she wants is being wanted or needed anymore... There are others who are stronger than my feeble self who still see Ram as valuable for who she is.

For a brief second, Ram had gazed back to YN as she had said that last part. YN's own eye, and Ram's ruby one met for that moment before the maid returned to bowing her head to Emilia.

Ram: In the same way YN helped Garf to see a better future, Ram wants to help Roswaal-sama from becoming a husk after the world inevitably diverges from his Gospel.

Confident such a thing was to occur, Ram awaited Emilia's answer on her request.

Emilia: How though...? How can we do that?

Hoping Ram didn't perceive her question as denial of her assistance, Emilia timidly asked it.

Ram: Emilia-sama can only help by making Roswaal-sama's dream come to fruition... —Take the Throne. Show him a world where the Gospel's word goes awry, but you are still to take the Throne.

Spoken with concise determination, Ram went on in a more resolved tone.

Ram: Should Roswaal-sama realize a world where that is possible outside the Gospel's writ, only than can he be saved.

Hearing the tall order being asked of Emilia, and how long of a delivery date that might have, YN voiced his concern to Ram.

YN: Nee-sama... You've considered too, that even if that's shown to him, he'll continue to cling to his Gospel regardless... right?

YN knew Ram wasn't short sighted like this, and as such, she quickly answered him.

Ram: —That is why we'll destroy those cursed texts. By fire or flood or landslide, we must make those words cease to exist.

YN: If that's what it takes... But you don't need to face that alone. In fact, I might have some more help we can call on if it's going to be Roswaal we have to deal with directly...

To them all, they knew such a conclusion to the Gospel would not come easily, but as Emilia could see Ram was in need of help now, she regrouped her own resolve, and spoke with her own determination to the maid.

Emilia: I will help in the best way I can then. It's my duty to take and pass the Trials, —all of them, and that's what I'll work to accomplish before it's too late.

As they both looked to Emilia as she held a hand over her chest, she nodded to them both with a fierce motivation.

Emilia: To ascend the Throne, the Sanctuary needs to be freed. That won't be done until the barrier lifted, and for that to happen, all the Trials must be passed by me.

Without another word spoken between them all, Emilia turned, and began another venture into the dark Tomb behind her.

Ram remained knelt, her hands clasped, until the lights of the Tomb were in full display again. As the illumination danced on her peach hair, the oni slowly stood again and approached YN.

With only a brief exchange between them, the two descended the steps of the Tomb with a plan, and set out into the night-time forest.

With the light "pitter-patter" of her feet across the damp floor of the Tomb, for a second time, Emilia emerged from her Trial.

Torches lit the entrance of the Tomb now, and from them, Emilia's view of the exit was obscured from the differences in brightness. Shielding her amethyst eyes from the harsh light to see out into the darkness beyond the Tomb's mouth, a voice greeted her.

?: Emilia-sama.

Familiar, it was someone Emilia knew. The tone indicated this person was like an elder, an individual who would speak and use a vocabulary Emilia felt was admittedly familiar to her own.

?: Emilia-sama? She's returned?

?: Emilia-sama!

?: Emilia-sama is out?

Now it seemed, from a longer distance off, a slew of voices were greeting her. While they weren't as familiar, they still did not sound like strangers.

Stepping past the light, Emilia finally was given a view of all those speaking her name.

Emilia: You're all...?

—The Sanctuary's inhabitants.

What must have been each and every one of them was now here, before the Tomb, awaiting as a crowd of onlookers for Emilia and her Trial.

?: Emilia-sama, how did your Trial fair?

The same voice from before, —the first one, now asked a question of Emilia. Turning to see who the owner was, the half-elf had to turn her gaze downward to be eye-to-eye with her.

Ryuzu, with her long, flowing pink hair looked up at Emilia with her childlike cerulean eyes, wondering if the silver-haired girl had been successful once again.

A hand to her chest as she answered, Emilia nodded.

Emilia: Yes. This one was a success too.

Ryuzu: That is wonderful news.

With an air of relief washing over the shorter elf, Ryuzu leaned a bit more onto her large staff.

At this announcement, many of the villagers began to clap and cheer for Emilia, which really only caused the poor girl to feel somewhat uneasy. While their approbations were welcome, she simply just wasn't used to such attention.

Almost expecting someone to tell her to enjoy this praise rather than feel as she did for it, Emilia realized she did not have anyone here presently to tell her that like her mind had completely predicted.

It was to that, that Emilia realized there were two other onlookers who she had thought would be here as well, that currently weren't.

Emilia: Umm, Ryuzu-san..? Did Ram and YN depart somewhere?

Nodding in confirmation, the short elf, with her mouth hidden behind her tall coat collar, answered Emilia.

Ryuzu: Y-bo and Ram unfortunately had to leave to take care of some business, not unlike how I also heard Su-bo and Gar-bo also had to depart for similar reasons.

Emilia: 'Similar reasons,' huh?

A tone of disparity echoed through Emilia's re-spoken words. Not only had her knight gone off to deal with other things whilst her Trial went on, but so had her remaining confidants.

Normally, Emilia might have felt the worst possible reasons for this, the poor girl. But given how she'd recently come to trust them all a bit more—

—No. They haven't left to shore things up in case I fail. That's not what they're doing.

Emilia knew her friends. She had friends in her camp. 'Friends trust each other' was something she had come to know well.

They've left because they trust me to do my part here. They trust me enough to know I can do this. They all have things they need to do too. —Parts they need to play.

Psyching herself up, Emilia took a deep breath, and patted her cheeks twice, giving her pale skin a slight rosy-red tint.

Emilia: I know what I have to do.

Turning away from Ryuzu, Emilia took a step back towards the Tomb.

I know YN wanted to try and sneak into the Trial while mine went on so he could attempt his... But if he left, he must have not had a choice. He's helping Ram now, that's the only explanation.

Taking another step forward, Emilia turned back to Ryuzu and nodded, signaling she was already prepared to take on the next challenge. Ryuzu herself nodded in reply, and so did all the Sanctuary residents behind her. Without further delay, Emilia entered the Tomb for a third, and hopefully, final time.

As the Tomb began to shine, signaling a Trial was underway, its light caught the first few droppings of a new phenomenon that was set to begin.

Snowflakes had begun to fall from the night sky above.

Across a narrow desire path, through a night time meadow of flowers, towards the childhood home of Garfiel and Frederica, the groundskeeper and maid walked.

Nowhere to be seen, or to have suddenly appear, were any of the Sanctuary's inhabitants. The two before coming here had asked Ryuzu to lead them all away to the safety of the Tomb's vicinity.

They had done this primarily because of what they each knew was going to be coming next.

Silently, the two had walked from the treeline to where the rest of the Sanctuary lied, and had their sights set on the lone structure that sat in the middle of this meadow.

Ram knew by the power of her Clairvoyance that this was where they needed to be in order to accomplish their goal; to confront whom they needed to confront. There would be nowhere for even him to hide so long as Ram had this ability of hers.

Surrounded by flowers of all colors under the full moon, YN halted as they were about halfway to their destination now.

With Ram behind him on the narrow path, she too had come to a stop.

Silent and still for a moment, YN turned finally to face Ram.

From the way Ram stood, her bangs shielded her single visible ruby-red eye from being illuminated by the lunar light.

Swallowing the apprehension of the topic he had, YN finally spoke up to the maid, who obviously could tell he had something to say.

YN: ...Ram, you're aware it's not just this, —The Sanctuary stuff, but that Roswaal has orchestrated it all, right? It's been pretty much everything shitty that's happened since Subaru and I showed up at the Mansion that he's been behind. —Even going back to Emilia and the theft of her Royal Selection marker.

Ram: Ram is aware. —Aware of everything. She has known, and it's been happening that way since before Barasu and you suddenly were a part of it all.

As if now feeling a tinge of guilt from saying it in such a way, Ram looked away from YN.

Ram: Ram has been privy to Roswaal-sama's dealings since forming her contract with him.

Hearing a mention of that contract he hadn't been privy to before, YN raised his brows over her saying this now of all times.

YN: Is this that 'pact' you mentioned before to Emilia-sama? It's a full-blown contract between you and Roswaal?

Crossing her arms as if slightly uncomfortable to be speaking about it, Ram returned her gaze to YN.

Ram: Should the world ever diverge from the Gospel's writings, Roswaal-sama would become a husk... After that, per our contract, Ram would be free to do with him as she wished. It is exactly as Ram had mentioned in her plea to Emilia-sama only a short while ago.

YN, at this, looked downward and scruffed his shoe along the dirt path they walked as he took a moment to fully realize the depth of such a condition.

YN: I didn't realize it was that serious... So there wasn't much you could do then... even if it involved Rem's safety.

Crossing her arms and speaking in her own self defense, Ram did so with a calmer voice than YN had expected with her body language as it was.

Ram: It is unfair of YN to judge Ram based on that, given she was never aware of Rem to begin with.

Before YN could answer that, Ram immediately double guessed what she had just said, as it conflicted with her own morals she knew she now held.

Ram: —Or at least, Ram is aware now.

Knowing she was caught in the midst of her old-self versus the person she knew she was now, —that YN had shown her she was, Ram's arms fell back to her side as she sighed.

Ram: Perhaps... Perhaps things are not as they should be...

A minute brain-fog of sorts seemed to linger in her mind, much like it would be painful when she tried to recall things such as why Frederica had been summoned back to the Mansion.

But, being the first to tell her she was right when she said that part, YN went off.

YN: No, things are not as they should be. That's why your heart is so conflicted right now. It's the reason your loyalty to Roswaal is waning, and it's why you had a trust in me you couldn't base anything on. It's why I had to begin to build something you could base that trust on, like saving Garf.

Speaking all these things that held irrefutable truth, Ram's first instinct was to reject that someone could just boldly waltz in with answers to her deepest problems.

Ram: The 'confliction' in Ram's heart... What do you know about it? YN has only recently found out about the Gospel Roswaal-sama processes. It's fowlings have been the source of Ram's confliction for far longer than YN has been privy to either.

Shaking his head at her retaliation to his words, YN corrected her.

YN: You are mistaken as to what I'm laying the blame to, Nee-sama. It is not the Gospel and its writ that is responsible for your recent confliction, but rather, the cause is solely from the Authority of Gluttony. Rem's erasure is the sole cause. Nothing else.

At this, Ram's expression wasn't one of instant doubt or reprisal, but one almost of wanting this to be true, but given her nature to need something more than her emotions to believe in, her words and logic remained as they were, set, if not maybe swayed slightly.

Ram: ...How can YN be so sure though?

Taking a deep breath, he answered the maid with peach hair.

YN: Ram, I've realized something about you ever since Rem was erased, —no, before then, before you even knew you felt conflicted.

From the things Rem had shared with him, and the things YN had pieced together in this endeavor to understand Ram and the way she viewed this entire fiasco over these series of Loops, it seemed, to YN at least, this all was rooted in the earliest examples of why the twin's bond was so strong.

YN: Ram, you want someone, for any reason almost, to put you first. —Not the prodigy you were, —the oni-god, or whatever other idea or image others wanted you to represent. You wanted Ram to be put first, just once, by anyone.

Taking a stab at what was perhaps one of the primordial complexities that was what helped shape Ram into the woman she was today, YN tied it into what he was getting at.

YN: Part of the reason you cherished Rem above all else was that she was the only person to see you that way in your home village. She loves you for you. Not what you are.

Ram: — — —

Needlessly to say, it was like Ram to stare daggers into someone trying to dictate to her what her childhood thoughts and emotions were like

—Especially so if they were spot on about it.

YN: With Rem gone, that support that propped up the longing to be someone's 'first' was yanked right out from under you.

Slow to respond, Ram's visual cues of potential hostility to YN subsided as she thought more on how it was he could extrapolate these conclusions from thin air.

Ram: ...Rem must have been the one to tell you all this, correct? About our home village, especially. How else would you know?

Surmising that had to be the only possible reason, the peach-haired maid reached this conclusion on her own sentiment. —A sentiment that had to be addressed by YN if he wanted to continue this direction of thought.

Ram: Are you saying Ram's feelings that relate to Roswaal-sama are just as he himself refers to you? —An 'anomaly?'

YN: No. And yes, Rem did mention all that stuff to me at one point. It's made me come to the conclusions I'm now certain of regarding you.

Raising a brow to YN, Ram's intrigue was being more and more compelled at how his reasonings flowed through not only her inner most quarrels of self, but also the contemporary conflictions she had now.

Ram: Explain to Ram what you mean and what you're getting at. —Say what you're saying is true, and that Ram is little more than an open book YN has taken the time to read, what does this all amount to?

YN: Your longing to be put first is now unfulfilled by Rem, meaning that longing has shifted onto your previous feelings for Roswaal since you view those as your next best source of that fulfillment, thus compounding them into something they were not originally.

Sighing as he felt he was being a bit too blunt with such a delicate topic ultimately for Ram, she could see he was earnestly trying to convey things in a way that didn't hint at him judging her for anything. In truth, Ram was only patient with his explanation out of trust, something he had thankfully rectified by declaring, and later delivering, on making amends with Garfiel.

YN: Rem's absence from your memories is making you double down on your feelings for Roswaal. I'm not going to sit here and say the feelings you have are an anomaly, but rather, the magnitude of them is.

Closing his eyes and taking another deep breath, YN summarized his point as keenly as he could.

YN: The Nee-sama I know wouldn't put Rem in danger by going down these paths of uncertainty, all in vein hope for Roswaal and his desires to be fulfilled.

Striking true to the heart of the matter, Ram's wavering sense of self translated into a more desperate argument of defiance, if only because she felt she needed to protect her vulnerable emotions.

Ram: What does YN truly know of Ram and her past? Is he even aware that Roswaal-sama was involved in the reason that village was destroyed?

YN: — — —

A dark sentiment now being cast into the mind of YN, he was taken back by this new knowledge.

Ram: Ram's feelings are not something she will just let anyone claim to truly understand, so how can YN say that he does know Ram's heart when it's entirely based off what he's heard second hand?

Clashing back with her own coldly calculated argument, Ram awaited YN's reply, which was slow and weak to form.

While he was shocked to hear this about Roswaal, and how this was obviously never revealed to Rem, else she would have told him, YN couldn't let that topic take control of the situation. Taking a deep breath, he sighed before he finally spoke.

YN: Rem never once mentioned that to me... So I'm only left assuming now that you knew or were told that, and you never relayed that to Rem...

Ram: — — —

Not answering Ram's question, YN pinched the bridge of his brow as he contemplated out loud to himself as to just why Rem would be oblivious to this if Ram wasn't.

YN: That only makes sense she wouldn't know... The two of you lost everything, and as far as Rem knew, Roswaal had saved you both in the aftermath...

Looking up to Ram now, he spoke more.

YN: —What sort of sister that was so dearly looked up to could crush her younger twin sister's heart a second time like that?

Casting his gaze away as Ram's remained unfettered by his conclusion, she now spoke, seeking an answer to her earlier question.

Ram: If YN cannot know the true intricacies of Ram's past, how can he so boldly claim he knows her heart? —A heart that is only as it is because of her past.

Feeling a tinge of extra anger at Roswaal burn in his chest now, on top of all the other things he was frustrated at the Margrave with still, YN turned his gaze back to meet Ram's with an evenly matched determination.

YN: It's pointless to make that the lynchpin of your whole crux, isn't it? No matter what you do, or I do, —or what Rem does once she wakes up, will change the past and how it affects you. So right now? I can venture to say that in the grand scheme of everything that's going on, none of that should matter.

Taking her question, and rejecting its angle, YN went on.

YN: What does matter right now though? Is the confliction in your heart right now. It's from Gluttony and what it's taken from you, and nothing else. That's what's making you cling to Roswaal as you have been. —But, I know it's also making you cling to me too, if only due to the promise I made, for Rem's sake, to you.

Clearly having an effect on her, Ram scoffed as a poor bluff to YN's reasoning, but her doubt was still cemented in her reaction.

Ram: That YN can think so high of himself, —believing he holds an equal share of Ram's heart as Roswaal-sama does, is ludicrous. In what way does Rem being gone from Ram's memories make that come to fruition? Explain that.

Unphased by Ram's shakey rebuttal, YN let his unfettered heart be manifested into words as the fire of anger in his chest ignited with the fuel he needed to burn away the obstacles placed before the pink-haired maid's heart, and the truth he was trying to deliver her to.

YN: Because out of anyone you wanted to be put first by, —to feel needed by, Rem was the only one who did that for you. You wanted that from Roswaal too, but he had goals he placed more importance on than you, —following his Gospel. That is exactly why you still want to save him from that, and that's why we're both here to do that.

Ram: — — —

YN: And it's not that different for your situation with Garfiel, is it? You reject his feelings, despite yourself wanting to be needed, because he won't put you first either. He puts the Sanctuary first, and you're well aware of that. That's why he's not in this same confliction that I or Roswaal are a part of in your heart. For both of us, you still see a chance at being put first, but you know Garfiel won't sacrifice that for you, ever.

Ram: — — —

YN: You see that chance in Roswaal because of your contract with him. You used to be willing to go along with it because you saw that as your best shot to fulfill that longing you had. As for me though...

Fully willing to go all in on belittling Roswaal to Ram at this moment, YN felt his own words go softer when talking about himself, as if ashamed to do so.

YN: —the reason I'm the other half of your confliction, is because my main priority is Rem, but you didn't know about her until I told you after we arrived at the Sanctuary... That's why you were acting the way you were towards me when we first did arrive. You, for a brief time, –before you knew about Rem, were putting more importance on me than you were Roswaal.

His hand turning into a tight first as he held it to his chest, he sighed and looked up to the pink-haired maid, where she could see a pain was in his eyes.

YN: When I told you about Rem, it blindsided you... And I'm sorry I didn't better consider what that might have meant for you, outside of the shock of seeing a sister you never knew about...

Hearing his apology, Ram wanted to say something to it, but held her tongue as she knew YN wasn't done.

YN: To make up for it, that's why I will wholeheartedly own the half that is mine in your confliction. I know it's mine, because what even allows me to hold that half was the promise you and I made that I'd let Rem lean on me. From that, you hung your hopes on that it would be me to deliver Rem to a happy future you were fearful she'd never get to experience. With such a kind sister, —one that saw you for you as no one else could, you wanted nothing more than Rem to be happy, and never discover what it was like to have an unfulfilled desire to be put first.

Ram: — — —

Ram, still unresponsive to his words, could feel each point he made inserting itself into her heart. Not like how a knife could carve its way in and demand entry and recognition. But rather, like a key in a lock. As part of a puzzle, it was perfectly shaped for an undestructive, welcomed entry.

YN: From the moment Rem was erased, that's when that confliction was born into your heart, and it only originally favored me because you knew not of Rem. Years of loyalty to Roswaal are a hard thing to break, and I'm not saying you ever did, but I know for a fact you had thoughts pass your mind that I could potentially be what you wanted out of Roswaal; someone who could finally put you first and foremost. It was only when you learned that I too, —like Roswaal, had things above you that would not be so easily shaken, that was the exact point your confliction became cemented in your heart.

As both fell silent in this night-time meadow, filled with flowers, under the full moon, YN recalled the Loop where in his car, Ram had broken down and said many of these same things to him. It was from that moment, that YN was able to surmount the obstacle that was Ram's conflicted heart.

YN: I... I also know that part of the confliction you feel, at least on my half of it, is a guilt towards Rem. You can see how similar you are to her, —not only in appearance, but your status; both as a maids and proximity to my own. There's a part of you that thinks if nothing else, the closest you'll ever get to having that longing be satisfied is to ride the coattails of what Rem has...

Really hitting home on Ram's innermost feelings, her hands, with her arms crossed still, moved from her elbows to her shoulders, as if she were trying to conceal her physical self. Worried now he was laying things on much too thick, YN dialed back his point-making, and recomposing himself, refreshed his sense of sympathy he felt he was unwittingly sacrificing in order to get through to the maid.

YN: You're holding onto hope and riding a tightrope right now... You don't want to push Rem off for your own sake, but at the same time, you feel guilty for even considering that because your desire for the same thing she has is so strong...

Placing his hand on his chest, YN closed his eyes and chose his words carefully.

YN: —and the truth is, Ram, I want you to feel fulfilled too.

Ram: — — —

Relaxing her own body language more as YN said that, he followed this up by taking that same hand on his chest, and now held it out to Ram. He did so mainly because he feared the maid might feel more isolated than ever, having all these deepest and dearest feelings of hers be exposed as such.

YN: I can't get into the complicated mess of how your own, my own, and Rem's feelings are or ever will be after this Sanctuary business, —or when Rem wakes back up and even what might happen thereafter...

Feeling his own shoulders slump as he finished saying that, he stiffened his posture back up straight, and forced his demeanor to regain its confidence.

YN: —But what I'm worried about, and what I know Rem would want me to do, both right this second, are the same thing; She'd want me to comfort her sister. —And it's not just because you're Rem's twin I feel duty bound to try and relieve that confliction and sense of longing still in you... It's because I do genuinely care about you too.

Ram: —hk...

Turning her head away from YN as he said that, she had done so while her brows had been forming a frown, but right now, her bangs hid the glint of scarlet on her face, and the smallest of tears in her eyes forming at his words. Even while she was turned away from YN though, he went on as he knew Ram was at the apex of her confliction in her heart, and a choice would need to soon be made.

YN: You have to pick a side in your heart if you want to save Roswaal. As long as you're this way, —conflicted, you won't be able to do that.

And Ram knew YN was right when he said that. To overcome Roswaal's will, she'd need to be totally resolute in her own, regardless of what she would have her heart side with.

A hand back at his chest though, as much as YN wanted Ram to reach her own conclusion, he did have a minute interest in what side she did choose, and that was apparent by his softer spoken words now.

YN: ...You could at least pick the side that won't toss you aside if they lose whatever they picked first.

Speaking of course about Rem to him, and Roswaal; of his Gospel, Ram looked back to YN now with both her ruby-red eyes wide open. To her, a new path felt like it was possible to walk, and that made her maiden heart utterly flutter at the idea of it.

Ram: — — —

In certain select times, when achieving something for him, or performing deeds she knew would garner her favor with her employer, Ram had basked in the gaze of acknowledged usefulness that Roswaal would give her. Supplying warmth to her heart she'd never experienced before, those times of bliss to her were now eclipsed by the words YN spoke to her.

With such an emotion being easily noticed by YN on the maid's face, he relaxed his composure, and hoped his words had finally caused her some peace in her turbulent heart and mind.

It's not like I want to manipulate her into helping me... I do want to help her, but I also don't want to hurt her later on and maybe inspire the thought I was 'leading her on' or something...

Wishing he had Rem by his side here to help him smooth out the ending of this, he made due by thinking she was right there beside him, guiding him on. Another hand now, went out to Ram, offering itself to her.

YN: Let's better sort all these feelings out once Rem is back to how she was, okay? Until then... take my hand if you need to. Lean on me like you asked me to let Rem do.

Ram: —!

At his offer, Ram felt a mix of shame, but also sweet relief.

She was a woman who knew her own strengths and weaknesses. If she showed weakness, people would think less of her strength, so she put on a strong face, never ever taking offered moments to show vulnerability. But at the same time, Ram thought of herself as extremely weak. She knew what lay underneath any mask she dawned.

So to YN's offer, she did feel that initial want to reject it, yet she knew he was already aware of how she truly was, and she knew if she wanted to carry on her aura of strength to anyone else, she'd need to take any chance of refuge she could get.

Little to say, what YN was offering was more needed to Ram than either of them really could understand.

Feeling like she was gaining a new strength in her heart, —a new source of resolve, Ram walked forward to YN, and clasped his offered hand finally, in both of her own.

Ram: — — —

Without the will to really verbally acknowledge what he was offering her, Ram couldn't even nod. The twinkle in her singularly visual ruby-red eye was all YN needed to know she was okay with it. Giving a nod to her instead, Ram dropped her hands to her side now, and cast her vision down to their feet on the small, narrow dirt path amidst the flowers they still stood around.

With a rare shakiness to her voice, she spoke while keeping her head down, as if she were still feeling the effects of having her innermost thoughts and psyche be revealed and spoken about.

Ram: H-How does YN know all this? It is... almost like he knows exactly what to say to Ram, but there is no sense of rehearsal to it.

Softly spoken almost like how Rem might ask that—

YN: — — —

At her most innocent request, the groundskeeper had to hold his tongue, should he invoke a most Envious disposition against him by higher powers.

Noticing his choice of silence though, Ram looked back up to him to see the troubled look on his face. It wasn't one that conveyed to her it was from guilt through nefarious means, rather, there was indeed something he simply couldn't put into words.

Ram: YN was not this omniscient until he left the Tomb. In fact... to Ram, it seems like you changed greatly since the moment you first went inside...

By analysis of his own actions, Ram had correctly deduced the location and time of YN and Subaru's most recently acquired Respawn Point, all part of their seemingly shared ability to cheat death itself. With all they each had learned, shared, and ultimately grown and changed as people over the course of these Loops, it would become ever more stark, the difference of person they had been between their first death, to the final victorious Loop. The longer a fiasco could go on, the more obvious the change would be to everyone else around them.

Ram: —What was it that the Witch showed you in her Tomb? During your Trials.

But alas, such a complex deduction, especially to someone as rational as Rem's Nee-sama, could only be surmised by more reasonable methods.

Ram: Ram fears how much YN truly has seen about her, or any number of other countless things...

Again recalling the Loop in which Ram had let her heart be poured out to YN after knowing of Roswaal's death, he knew they had to act to prevent that.

Rem would never forgive me if I let Ram fall to pieces like that...

Ram: Roswaal-sama has spoken very little of his 'sensei' to Ram, but she has always found her described temperament to be loathsome. —Far too meddlesome in everything.

And to what YN had seen and known of Echidna, he knew it was exactly like her to have a Gospel instructing Roswaal to do what he'd done thus far.

Not wanting to acknowledge too much about her or Ram's own deduction about how he knew, he walked his own vocal tightrope.

YN: ...The woman I met in the Tomb wasn't too fond of me like how you don't seem too fond of her. Any information she shared with me I really had to pry out of her, and that ended up having me know what I know of now...

He wasn't about to lie to her, just like he wouldn't to Rem, but he definitely knew he was skirting by in regards to Ram.

Ram: Is that so? It definitely sounds like she told you almost everything you'd ever need to know about Ram...

Halfway expecting the author to have Ram tease him about something indecent he also might have become privy to, if only to give a slight comedic break to the seriousness of the conversation, YN was at least aware that Ram had pushed that desire away on her own. After all, Ram knew she couldn't have been the only topic discussed between YN and the Witch during his Trials.

Ram: ...About Rem as well, did the Witch have anything to say about her at all?

Speaking about the fate that had befallen her, Ram knew that had to be the number one thing YN would have asked about.

YN: Well, she wouldn't be the Witch of Greed if she didn't save the best for last...

Perking up more as he said that, Ram's voice began to fill with a sense of renewed ire for this Witch.

Ram: YN still intends to see her for that third offered time then, correct? To make her speak more on Rem's condition.

Knowing from YN by the conversation between himself and Emilia about the Third Trial and his desire to take it, Ram fully supported his need to, as she couldn't admittedly think of a more possible place to learn about Rem's condition and a solution to curing it from anywhere else.

YN: Oh I do, make no mistake about it. It's just that if she ends up not wanting to share anything useful, I have no clue what I'll do...

Ram: If it should come to that, Ram will demolish that Tomb herself in a way that Garf only wished he could have.

Eyes going wide to that, YN smiled at the thought of it, as it was slightly amusing.

Ram, it seems, really doesn't like Echidna... Well, I can understand why from her perspective, at least.

YN: Before you get too excited though, you gotta remember there's a four hundred year learning curve she does have. She really knew nothing about this new generation of 'Sin Archbishops' the Witch Cult has now, and could only speculate on their Authorities.

Ram: How typical a woman of her disposition would hide behind the benefit of doubt. Perhaps Ram should graffiti her Tomb regardless if only to disgrace her.

Crossing her arms as she said that, it really was apparent how sour of an opinion Ram had of Echidna, despite not ever needing to meet her.

YN: Well, if you want the chance to do that, we gotta survive this first, don't we?

Nodding over to the single structure out in the distance, in the middle of this moonlit meadow, Ram also turned again to face it.

Ram: Yes. One thing at a time.

Concluding their talk, and ending it on perhaps the best note possible, the two set out to accomplish the goal they had taken this walk to do.

Arriving at Garfield and Frederica's childhood home, the groundskeeper and maid stood side by side, in a way opposite to how Rem and YN would usually stand, all so he could see the look in Ram's eye as they now faced the greatest challenge they had ever both confronted.