Spokane, Washington
September 25, 01:05 UTC

Suffice it to say, Virgil did as he was told, falling asleep as soon as the jet reached cruising altitude.

It wasn't until the following morning, when the jet touched down, that Virgil was roused from his slumber. Rather rudely in fact since he was only asleep for four and a half hours. Living in Bludhaven's comparative safety next to that of Manhattan must've softened him up.

"Ungh…" Virgil groaned as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, rising from his seat and cracking his back. "Hey, Four Seven Niner!" he called out to the front. "What time is it?"

*Sigh* "Bout one o'five," she answered, yawning in her seat.

"Wha-One o'clock!" he blurted out.

"We went west, so you gained those four and a-half hours," she answered.

"I… am going to have the worst case of jet lag. Ever. Of all time."

"At least you got to sleep through it. Between the autopilot and this guy, I didn't get a wink of sleep," she said jabbing her thumb at who Virgil assumed was the co-pilot. The defeated sigh told him whoever was in the 2nd chair, was used to that kind of treatment.

"Riiight…" Virgil groaned as he laid back in his seat. As the sound of turbines outside the plane began to die down, the jet began to slow, taxiing away from the runway and towards a hangar at the far side of the airport.

Ten minutes later, when the aircraft was pushed into the waiting hangar, the passenger door finally opened, Virgil grabbing his briefcase and carry-on before stepping out. The sun wasn't even out yet, just the sort of thing that happens when you skip backwards a couple time zones.

The hangar itself was pretty much empty, and aside from the plane, there was only one other vehicle.

Parked a couple meters away was a dark blue IAV Stryker, one of a family of eight-wheeled all-wheel drive armored combat vehicles produced by General Dynamics Land Systems, in use by the United States Army. Of course, the only reason he knew that was because he happened to catch sight of it on the History Channel while surfing for something to watch. Its coloration was dark blue, while the slogan DREBINS: WE HAVE YOURS was plastered across the side in bright yellow. Moments later, a figure stepped around from behind it, a cup of coffee in his hand.

The man was African American, had dark brown eyes, a set of rounded rectangular black-rimmed glasses sitting atop his nose, and had messy black hair an inch or so away from being an army-regulation crew cut. His attire consisted of black combat boots, forest camo cargos, a black collared shirt with a white tie around his neck, and a gaudy custom-made turquoise-colored suit top.

"Who are you?" Virgil saw fit to ask, adjusting his grip on his briefcase and carry-on.

"Company policy says to call myself Drebin Three-Fifty-Six, but you can just call me Tucker for short since we can actually use our real names now," the man known as Tucker greeted.

"I see. And what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to be your driver for this little nerd-hunt of yours," the man replied casually. "Come inside. I've got some goodies for you courtesy of DREBINS before we hit the road," he said guiding Virgil to the back of the Stryker, the rear bulkhead folded down.

The interior of the APC was all-metal in gunmetal grey, enough seats near the door to seat six, a driver and passenger seat up front, and a periscope. On the left wall there were weapons ranging from handguns to rifles to swords, while on the right there were a number of photos and maps on a cork board. There was even a vending machine bolted to the side loaded up with snacks from both the U.S. and abroad.

"Before we begin, I'd just like to say…" Tucker said digging around in his pockets before pulling out an index card, clearing his throat a couple times as he adjusted his glasses on his face. "We here at DREBINS strive to deliver excellent customer service to all of our patrons, be they White, Blue, or Green collar in affiliation. We know that you have many choices when it comes to your armed needs providers, and we thank you for choosing us. As a token of our gratitude, and out of our desire to treat all patrons like members of the family, I, Drebin 356, would like to offer you this small gift, and hope you will consider us for all your battlefield needs in both the immediate, and foreseeable future."

Having read out the speech in full, Tucker then proceeded to pass a small parcel to Virgil, wrapped in army camouflage wrapping paper and a gray ribbon. There was even a label on top reading From: DREBINS and To: Vincent, and it was hard to determine whether the guy knowing his name already was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Hmmm…" Virgil hummed as he lifted it a couple times in his hands, trying to guess what it was by weight. Getting nothing out of that, he proceeded to whip out his balisong, cutting the ribbon before ripping the paper free, revealing a small metal army green carrying case with a single latch on the side and a small handle on the top.

Opening the case revealed a hand-held device resembling a walkie talkie, mostly rectangular in shape with beveled edges, a small joystick on the side, a couple buttons and dials on the top, and an antenna on the left. There was a circular LED in the center within a spherical node, the device's coloration primarily gunmetal gray with some dark orange accents.

"What is it?" Virgil asked looking the device over. A button press on the side prompted a holographic screen to suddenly leap out of the "eye" in the center, surprising him.

"That would be DREBINS' most-recent innovation, the iDroid_EX," the man answered. "The originals were used by the Diamond Dogs PMC back in the Cold War. The EX has all the newest tech, making it lighter and more-efficient, but keeps the original look for those of us feeling nostalgic."

"This thing looks pretty advanced for something from the eighties," Virgil said thumbing his way through the menu.

"Yeah, well, military always does get the best toys at first," Tucker replied with a shrug.

"I see…" Virgil said as he continued to fiddle with the hologram interface, which he noted looked like something out of a video game. 'Probably so it's user-friendly,' he noted, a little surprised to find a copy of his mission briefing, as well as any prevalent files waiting for him.

"As for what comes next, I know you're going to love this," he said pulling out another box. This one was military-style, but colored black with silver accents. It just screamed Special Ops when Virgil set it on his lap and opened it up.

"A bow!" Virgil said in shock, recognizing what he device was even before it unfolded in his hand.

"Yep. This bad boy's called the Predator Bow, featuring a PS Energy Support System and Automatic Reload System," Tucker replied like a salesman making a pitch. "At maximum draw weight, this thing can pin bodies to walls like butterflies, and has enough kinetic energy to stop a rhino."

"How much kinetic energy exactly?" Virgil asked as he looked his new tool over.

While collapsible, it looked very sturdy, probably made with some of the best materials money could buy. It followed the design of a compound bow, the grip, limb bolt, cams, and cable guard colored black, the bow sight, stabilizer, and limb struts colored silver, while the upper limbs were colored a dark orange, and the criss-crossing cables a dark shade of red. In place of a bow-mounted quiver, there was a dark green-colored box set right into the handle with a small slot on the left side running parallel with how the arrows would be drawn. Pressing a trigger on the grip, an arrow slid out of the box and into the arrow rest, before the shaft extended to full length via telescoping.

"According to the flavor text in our catalog, a normal human can lift around a thousand pounds max. During fight or flight response, that one-thousand can go up to three thousand. Because that suit you'll be wearing doubles the strength of a normal human, this custom-made rig has a draw weight around six thousand pounds."

"Six thousand…!" Virgil gawped as he turned the bow over in his hand. "Screw the rhinos! With six-thousand, I could stop Superman with one of these things!"

Of course, Virgil knew that statement was false, but he wanted to live up the hype a little longer before mission-time.

"If it were laced with Kryptonite, maybe. Maybe," Tucker said with a shrug, before a beeping sound came from his pocket. Pulling out his own iDroid, the man looked over the holographic screen that appeared before putting it back in his pocket. "Alright then. The route's been finalized, so it's time to get going. If you need to change, do it in the corner over there, and if you get hungry, first snack's a freebie. The rest goes on your tab," he said jabbing a thumb at the vending machine before making his way to the driver's seat.

*HULK HUNTING*

While en route to Banner's location, after changing into his mission gear, Virgil took the time to get a little more acquainted with his new gear.

While he could've spent all day fiddling around with the iDroid and gotten nowhere, actually looking at the instruction manual helped a lot. Using the holographic interface, he was able to find maps of the mission area already waiting for his perusal; the fact they were in satellite-based format really helped him get a lay of the land. There was a transcript of the mission briefing, both in written and recorded format. Included were documents relating to Banner, Ross, Betty, and even the Gamma Bomb that gave Banner his powers, though on that document some of the information was redacted; aesthetically it looked like someone took a black permanent marker to it and marked 70% of it out.

It also possessed the ability to quickly scan and record documents with more clarity than most cameras, all he had to do was point the bottom-mounted LED at what he wanted to record and press the side button. Strangest of all though was the fact that it could generate a holographic flame that could actually light stuff on fire; the flame was cool when he waved his hand over it, but combustibles like wrapping paper from the snack machine lit up like normal.

After that came looking over the manual for the Predator Bow. First time he unfolded it he'd done so by accident, but now he knew that it would change from collapsed and extended forms via internal pneumatics. As for the Automatic Reload System, essentially, special cartridges were loaded with arrows featuring telescoping shafts, and because the custom-job was synchronized to the Nanosuit, it "recognized" what arrows he wanted, instead of an over-complicated mechanism in the handle, and Nanovision gave him an approximation of how much ammo he had in it. For this mission, the cartridge he was provided with contained 10 Carbon-Impact, 4 Bomb, 3 Stun, and 3 Super-Thermite arrows making a grand total of 20.

Because the Hulk was reported to have a muscular density exceeding that of solid concrete, if it did come down to a fight, he might actually need that six-thousand pound draw weight.

'Thank Athena for the miracles of science,' Virgil thought to himself holding the OctoCloak out in front of him before throwing it over his shoulders, the two devices synchronizing almost seamlessly with one another. Unlike the Predator Cloak, the OctoCloak only stopped at waist level, probably for greater freedom of movement and so it would be less-likely to snag.

That actually worked out pretty well, since according to Snake, he'd be doing a lot of crawling around on his belly while using OctoCamo. Snake had been insistent on him learning to do a proper Snake Crawl that was both fast and stealthy.

That and how to utilize cardboard boxes as an infiltration aid. While he had been insistent on the Snake Crawl, he had been adamant when it came to the cardboard box. For whatever reason, he insisted on calling it a QPCS, or Quick-deployment Personal Concealment System. Also for whatever reason, was that while using it, Virgil found an "inner peace" of sorts he hadn't experienced before. Even when he meditated or did tai-chi with his lesbian foster mothers in Florida.

Of course, since this mission was going to take place in a forest, a collapsed cardboard box was not included in his mission gear. Some of the guys Snake snuck by in the past may've been idiots for not paying more attention to a cube of corrugated paper, but Banner was not such an idiot.

"For a high-tech robot, this thing is actually pretty easy to assemble," Virgil said as he assembled the Metal Gear Mk IV. Once he made sure everything was in place, its head started moving around before the screen on its side flickered to life.

"Hey there." *Yawn* "How was your flight?" Otacon greeted. Obviously, it was really early over there, and he'd fallen asleep at his desk until the Mark IV came back online.

"I slept through most of it," Virgil replied. "Everything checking out on your end?"

"Yep. Green lights all across the board," Otacon said as he sipped from a cup of coffee that was nearby. "I assume our hired driver from DREBINS was there waiting for you?"

"Yeah."

"And you got the gear we ordered?"

"Right here," he said holding up the iDroid and Predator Bow.

"Good. Good. That means we can get down to the plan."

"Which is what exactly?"

"Alright, first off, Drebin is going to have to drop you off a couple miles from Banner's cabin, less of a chance he happen across us by accident. It'll be a bit of a hike, but it shouldn't be any problem for you. Once we're there, we wait low until Banner leaves the cabin. Recon team determined that once a day around noon he leaves his cabin to go foraging in the woods. Hopefully he goes fishing, that'd give us a couple hours, but if he's only going to check the traps, we'll have less time to work with."

"Yeah, I read the mission files."

"Oh, you already knew that… Well alright then…" he said drumming his fingers on the table. "Well, um, it should be a couple more hours until you get to the border. Only advice I can offer is get a couple more hours sleep so you're well-rested."

"Roger that," Virgil sighed as he laid sideways across the bench to catch a few Zs.

"Oh, wait, before you go to sleep," Otacon interrupted. "We have your new call sign for you."

"Do I really need one of those? I mean, according to you, Codec is completely unhackable."

"Yeah, I know, but its standard procedure."

"Alright then. Lay it on me."

"Night Snake," the man replied, Virgil raising an eyebrow at the choice of name. "Originally we were going to go with 'Hidden Snake', because your Nanosuit can hide you from view with Cloak, but that sounds a bit dirty, so 'Night Snake' it is."

"Night Snake…" Virgil rolled the name over his tongue. "Hm. I like it," he said with a shrug.

*HULK HUNTING*

Because Banner had opted to live out in the wilderness, right on the Canadian border, it took a number of hours to drive out there. Half of the time there weren't even roads, forcing Tucker to go off-road, the bumpy ride making it hard for Virgil to catch up on his sleep.

It didn't really matter that much in the end, as a few hours later they finally arrived.

"This is as close as I can take you. The rest of the way you'll have to go on foot," Tucker said poking his head through the panel above the driver's seat before pulling it down, the Stryker disappearing moments later.

"Huh. Guess he wasn't joking when he said this thing had OctoCamo on it," Virgil thought to himself as he set the Mk. IV down. "Still, how does he expect to pick up chicks with this thing if they can't even see it?"

"Doesn't matter. We've got to get moving, or else we'll miss our window," Otacon said as he wheeled off. Strangely enough it was pretty fast even with all the dead twigs and stuff it had to drive over.

*HULK HUNTING*

If it weren't for the Waypoint Marker at the top of his HUD, Virgil would've gotten turned around who knows how many times. The hike itself was about five miles, but for Virgil it was more of a light jog. While they could've gone faster if Virgil tucked the Mk. IV under his arm, Otacon was greatly opposed to that, saying that a high-tech piece of equipment like his current apparatus wasn't meant to be carried under-arm like some kind of small dog.

'Next time I'll just hit the On Switch when I'm on-site,' Virgil thought to himself as he snake-crawled up the hill. With the Predator Bow synched to the combat webbing on his back, and the OctoCloak thrown over his shoulders, from above he looked no different from every other patch of forest floor, the perfect camouflage.

"Vir-I mean, Snake," Otacon corrected himself as he crested the hill. "We made it."

"Yeah, I can kinda see that," Virgil said cresting the hill himself, still on his belly.

The terrain before him was pretty much exactly like the satellite photos indicated, but pictures didn't beat the real thing. The lone cabin in the woods, surrounded on three sides by risen ground was actually quite scenic.

Of course, seeing a place like this… reminded him of the trip he never got to go on… what never could've been… All because of Mercer. And the Nazis.

"Snake, you alright there? There was a spike in your Theta brainwaves a moment ago."

"I'm fine," Virgil shrugged off as he narrowed his eyes. "Activating Nanovision," he said to himself, the world across from him becoming greyscale, save the heat signatures in the cabin, of which there were two major sources. "I think I've got a bead on Banner. Can you confirm?"

"Yeah. According to the Foxhound guys we've got watching Banner, he hasn't stepped out of the cabin today."

"Looks like this guy's burning the midnight oil," Virgil said looking up at the corner of his HUD, the current time reading 06:35. "I'm guessing we'll have to wait until he leaves?"

"Yeah," Otacon replied as the Mk. IV hunkered down. "Why don't you catch a few more Zs. I'll let you know if something happens."

"Don't mind if I do," the brunette sighed inside his helmet as he crept backwards, crossing his arms beneath his head like a pillow as he let his eyes droop shut.

*HULK HUNTING*

Special Ops was far from as glorious as the media made it out to be.

It wasn't guns-blazing the moment you set foot down. It wasn't running through a hail of bullets before throwing yourself against the rearside of waist-high cover and asking what's going on because you didn't have the foresight to ask on the way there. And it certainly wasn't kicking down a door and killing the guards in all of two seconds because they were playing cards at the table instead of doing their jobs.

It was waiting. Lots, and lots of waiting. Waiting for the sun to go down for cover of darkness. Waiting for the weather conditions to be the most favorable. Waiting for gaps to open up in the patrol of sentries.

But more than anything else, it was waiting for someone, somewhere, to fuck up.

That's why Virgil slept for a good five hours before an alarm stated to sound inside his helmet, rousing him from his slumber. Because the suit he was wearing powered the nanomachines in his eyeball fluid, hjs eyes were quick to adjust to the light, almost like he hadn't been inside a dark helmet for five hours.

"Psst! Snake!" Otacon said through Codec. "Banner's leaving the cabin. It looks like he's about to go fishing," the Mk. IV motioned above the rise, Virgil snake-crawling and peeking over the edge to see a scrawny man in a white shirt and brown pants heading to the forest behind his house, a fishing pole in one hand and a case in the other.

"Alright…" Virgil said as he pressed himself to the ground, waiting for Banner to crest the hill. "Let's move," he said as he snake-crawled across the open field, OctoCamo keeping him perfectly concealed, especially with the OctoCloak breaking up his silhouette. Otacon's Mk. IV on the other hand had become completely transparent, sans a small lensing effect.

Silently, the two made their way to their target's stronghold, hoping beyond all home the man didn't come back to grab something he'd missed.

*HULK HUNTING*

Strangely enough, the domicile of a so-called "gamma-terrorist" had absolutely zero traps on the perimeter. The cabin itself was a one-room fixture with two windows on the front and back, a front door between the windows facing the mouth of the basin.

Borescope in hand, courtesy of the Mk. IV, Virgil peered under the door, the cabin itself completely vacant. Back pressed against the door, as the Nanosuit's color and texture changed to that of the wood cabin around him, the test pilot took the opportunity to look around, his Nanovision connecting directly to the borescope in his hand and highlighting items of interest.

Aside from the bed in the corner, the rest of the cabin's fixtures looked like something out of a mad scientist's lab. Computer towers both old and new were connected to monitors, fans off to the side keeping their temperatures low as they ran through calculations. There were centrifuges, microscopes, and other medical equipment off to the side, situated in front of cork board covered in hand-written notes, most of their contents in short hand, which you'd need a PhD in gamma sciences to understand. The most eye-catching object in the room was the one pressed against the back wall, a tall metal cylinder large enough for a person to stand in, the interior lined with vertically-aligned tubes glowing an eerie shade of green that cast muted light across the cabin.

"Otacon. Are there any radiation leaks I need to know about?" Virgil asked as he disconnected his Nanovision from the borescope's feed.

"No. Surprisingly enough, Banner didn't cut any corners, even though he's suspected to be radiation-proof."

"Alright… Moving in on my mark. One… Two… Three… Mark!" he shouted through the Codec as he reached up, twisted the knob, and combat-rolled into the room. Predator Bow unfolding, an arrow was notched in his hand the moment he came to a stop, sweeping the room left-to-right, floor-to-ceiling.

"You know," Otacon said as the Mk. IV backed into the door, closing it shut behind them. "That combat roll was completely unnecessary."

"Sorry. It just sort of came to me," Virgil said as he holstered his weapon on his back. Rising from his kneeling position, Virgil began to go over every inch of the room. "What are we looking for exactly?" he asked as he took out the iDroid, letting it scan the documents, but mindful to put everything back when he was done.

Last thing they needed was for Banner to know there were people going through his stuff when he wasn't around.

"Anything that will either substantiate, or refute what Ross has been saying," Otacon said as the Mk. IV went over to the banks of computers, its prehensile arm slotting in a futuristic-looking flash drive into one of the USB ports.

"About Banner planning to use gamma bombs against the US, you mean?" Virgil asked as he began going through printouts of psyche evaluations. Based on the trend, while there wasn't necessarily anything wrong with Banner's mental state, there recently had been a slow and steady decline in his physical health, on top of a growing in ability to sleep that night. A phrase that repeated through a number of reports was ominously penned "The Devil", but he could read it later at his leisure since the iDroid was recording it all.

Still, anything called "The Devil" in someone like Banner was bound to be really fucking ominous.

"Right," Otacon replied, having the Mk. IV hop its way onto one of the tables with the assistance of a small grappling hook, as it began scanning the medical equipment being used. "Hmmm… While Banner's blood has been reported to be highly toxic, I'm not seeing anything here that would constitute the development of any kind of bio-weapon."

"Thank god for that. Last thing we need are an army of Hulks running around," Virgil said before stopping mid-page turn. "Holy shit…" the brunette gaped as his mind began to go into full-blown conspiracy mode. Connecting Ross' position as a Four-Star Lieutenant General, on top of his being a dedicated patriot, in addition to his refusal to allow any super-powered being to so much as talk to Banner… "Command, do you copy?"

"We hear you, Snake. What's the situation on your end?" Re-l said through Codec.

"What is the possibility that Ross wants to replicate what made Bruce Banner into the Hulk, only instead of scrawny nerds he intends to use trained soldiers?"

"Mass production?" Re-l asked, though not in a surprised tone like Virgil would've thought. "The possibility does exist that it might be what Ross is attempting to do. However, without any evidence to act upon, we can't question Ross' integrity."

"Yeah, well, I'm going to call bullshit on anything Ross has to say about Banner, because I'm seeing zero evidence of him being the bad guy here," Virgil said going over the shorthand notes on the cork board, no slip of paper un-turned as he tried to digest as much information as possible. "I think… I believe the possibility exists that Dr. Banner is trying to cure whatever made him into the Hulk. Or at the least, find a way to control it," he said finding a chemical formula for something called Tetrodotoxin B.

Once again, he didn't have the PhD required to read those things.

"That theory falls right in line with how the Hulk has never appeared without being provoked beforehand," Snake said joining the conversation.

"I think Ross is playing a very dangerous game here," Virgil said as he went over to a laptop situated off to the side, the Nanosuit wirelessly hacking it and downloading any files of interest. "If it got out that he was trying to pull a cover-up so he could make an army of unstoppable, super-powered soldiers, this could lead to another world war if the other countries view this as a power-grab."

"Until we've gone over all of Banner's files, we can't say anything for certain," Otacon said as he finished culling data from Banner's equipment. About to wheel over to the piece of equipment against the back wall, the Mk. IV did a double-take, its cameras peering through the window and into the treeline. "Snake! We need to get out of here, right now! Banner's coming!"

"Shit, he must've hit a hot streak at the river! We've gotta move," Virgil swore as he put everything on the table as it was. Pulling the flash drive that the Mk. IV placed in the USB free, Virgil turned the knob as quietly as he could, allowing the Mk. IV to slip through.

Tiptoeing his way down the porch steps, careful not to make a sound, Virgil quickly laid himself out on the ground, OctoCamo changing his camouflage from hardwood to forest floor. Snake-crawling away from the cabin as quickly, and silently, as he could, the moment Banner came around the corner of the cabin he laid down and froze.

The Mk. IV likewise lowered itself to the ground, and while under optical camouflage, locked onto the front of the cabin, as opposed to staring right at banner. The Mk. IV's feed connected to Virgil's HUD, his heart began to beat in his ears as Banner ascended the steps to his cabin, step-by-step, as he approached the door. The man's hands going around the knob, Virgil's heart almost stopped in his chest as the scientist whirled around.

The man's gaze panning from left to right, the test pilot held his breath and ceased to move. Banner's gaze continuing to go from side to side, the brunette wondered how much ground he'd be able to cover before all six-hundred pounds of gamma-irradiated muscle was able to pound him into a mushy red paste.

Fortunately, the brunette didn't have to stress-test it, as Banner shrugged his shoulders and entered the cabin. The door shutting behind him, the brunette let out the breath he'd been holding.

"Snake, I'll keep an eye on the cabin, play red-light/green-light in case he decides to look out the window," Otacon instructed as the Mk. IV's camera feed focused on the cabin's two front windows. "Green light, go!" he ordered as Banner's back turned. "Gogogo!"

*HULK HUNTING*

After what must've been the highest-stakes game of Red-Light/Green-Light ever, Virgil and the Mk. IV were able to make it back to the crest of the hill they'd started on. Situated behind a tree across from the cabin's side wall, unless Banner had super-hearing they didn't know about, there wouldn't be any way the scientist would know they were there.

"Thank god that's over," Virgil sighed inside his suit as he pressed his back against the tree. "For a second there I thought he saw us."

"Just means our OctoCamo is doing its job," Otacon replied over the line. "Re-l, I was able to copy about eighty percent of Banner's files before he got back from his stroll. Sorry we couldn't get the whole thing."

"While the whole of it would've been preferable, we should still have enough to accomplish our mission," Re-l replied. "Fortunately, you were able to get out of there when you did. Ross just mobilized his forces. They'll be at Banner's location within the hour."

"Where does that leave us then?" Virgil asked.

"I'll leave that up to your discretion. However, this is still a top-secret mission. Do not engage Ross' forces directly. Officially, FOXHOUND has zero involvement with Banner's activities," the woman advised before cutting herself off from Codec.

"Come on, Snake. Let's get back to the rendezvous point before Ross' men get here," Otacon said as the Mk. IV wheeled itself away, only to stop when Virgil did not get up from the tree. "Snake?"

" . . . Will any of Ross' forces be cutting through the forest?" he asked.

"Based on my estimates… the only terrain favorable for the vehicles he's bringing on-site will be the basin itself. Ross will likely head straight for the cabin itself."

"I see…" Virgil hummed to himself as laid down, preparing to wait.

*HULK HUNTING*

"I hope you know what you're doing," Otacon said as, an hour later, a small convoy of vehicles came around the bend. Satellite images courtesy of the iDroid had them going at a pretty good clip from wherever Ross had mobilized them from, but now they were moving really slow, possibly in an attempt to catch Banner off-guard.

The convoy consisted of seven vehicles. Two APCs in the back, one more heavily-equipped than the other, likely a command center. A pair of tanks were off to each side, M1 Abrams like back in the Red Zone, only these had thermobaric cannons mounted on each side of the turret. In the front lined up in a pair and one behind, were a trio of Humvees in a reverse-triangle formation, strange-looking devices situated on their backs.

What would be really weird, was that if like the last convoy he came face to face with, he'd fuck all of their couches with only a single arrow.

Of course, there weren't any zombie-birds flittering through the air or armies of rabid Infected surrounding them, so that notion was completely ludicrous.

"Alright Ross… What're you planning," Virgil said to himself as the man poked his head out of the APC on the right, a pair of binoculars on his hand. Whispering orders into his microphone, as a group of soldiers with strange backpacks over their shoulders marched out of the second APC, the Humvees in the front moved into action, the one in the rear moving forward while the ones in the front split off to the sides. "Otacon, can you get me specs on their vehicles? Nanovision isn't finding any matches," he said as his vision panned between the three Humvees.

"The Humvees are all standard, but the weapons on their backs must be new prototypes," Otacon replied, the devices on their backs rising up into what looked like satellite dishes.

"Wh-What the hell does he think he's doing?!" Virgil gawped as one of the soldiers pulled out a fucking grenade launcher! Not only that, but he actually used it, firing a shell right into Banner's cabin and blowing pieces of it in all directions in a plume of fire.

"If they're trying to piss off the Hulk," Otacon said as what was left of the roof was suddenly kicked into the air. "It worked," he said as the Hulk strode angrily out of the flaming rubble.

"Video's got nothing on this," Virgil said as his Nanovison zoomed in on the Hulk. Pictures and videos didn't do the real thing justice. Everything about him screamed raw, uncontrolled, power, muscles larger than those on any Mister Universe shifting like tectonic plates, the ground actually crumbling with each step. "How strong is this guy exactly?"

"He can lob a fully-armed tank like a hammer throw at the Olympics."

"Oh, so he's that strong," Virgil said rolling his eyes, taking note that Ross had stepped out of his APC, goading the Hulk into walking forward by calling him things like "monster" and "freak". "What the hell's he doing? Doesn't he know the Hulk can break him like a kit-kat bar?"

"I think that's what he's going for," Otacon said as the dish-like devices on two of the Humvees swiveled to the side, the Hulk now in the center of a triangle, Ross goading the jade giant until he was smack-dab in the center.

"FIRE!" he ordered, columns of air in front of the dishes shuddering as pressure waves bombarded the Hulk, accompanied by a sound not unlike that of a deep bass. As Ross stepped back, the Hulk's hands going to his ears from the auditory attack, the men with strange backpacks moved forward.

Squaring their feet, they pulled hose-looking guns from the sides of their packs, taking aim at the Hulk. Triggers pulling, sprays of gray-colored gunk were sprayed from the ends of the hoses, splashing onto the Hulk's size infinity kicks, before rapidly hardening. Apparently this made him angry, because he promptly ignored the sonic attack and began smashing the ground at his feet, only for his hands to be gooped as well.

"Oh boy… It looks like Ross might actually win this time," Otacon said nervously as the Hulk writhed in anguish as the sound waves bombarded him from all sides.

"Re-l!" Virgil shouted into his Codec, hoping beyond all hope that his boss was listening. "Ross is about to capture the Hulk. What should I do?"

"That's a very difficult question. You're essentially asking whether or not you should interfere in a sanctioned military campaign on American soil," the woman replied.

"We still don't have enough information to fully confirm Banner's guilt, but there isn't enough evidence supporting his innocence either," Snake saw fit to add in. "Whatever you're going to do, do it fast. You won't get a second chance at this."

Nanovision honing in on the Hulk's tortured expression as he tried to ward off the omni-directional attack, and then to the sneer that was on Ross' face, Virgil's decision was made pretty clear.

"I'm stopping this," Virgil said as he drew his Predator Bow, the weapon unfolding and locking into place, the Auto Loading System dropping an Exploding Arrow into his awaiting hand, lowering himself to the ground as he examined the battlefield, waiting for just the right moment. "C'mon… C'mon… Give me something to work with. Need to make this look like an accident…" he said to himself as he eyed the soldiers, his Nanovision picking up the conversation between Ross and a man in a scientist's uniform.

"You want to what?!" the scientist gawped.

"You heard me! Increase the power! Increase it to maximum!" the general bellowed.

"But sir, the sonic devices can't take much more of this!" the technician argued. "If you push them too hard they could-"

"And if the Hulk gets away, it won't even matter! INCREASE POWER!" he barked, almost blowing the man's glasses off his face.

"Alright…" the man said as he took out a tablet, which his Nanovision told him was connected to the sonic devices. "Just don't say I didn't warn you," he said making sweeping motions across the screen, the sound waves from the Humvee-mounted devices beginning to intensify.

'THERE!' Virgil shouted as his mind's eye opened fully, drawing his Exploding Arrow back to maximum draw weight.

*HULK HUNTING*

*KRA*KROOOM!*

"What the hell!" Ross cried as the sonic-emitter nearest him suddenly exploded.

*KRA*KROOOM!*

Followed by another.

*KRA*KROOOM!*

The third following swiftly behind it barely moments after their sonic payload had reached maximum potency.

"I warned you! I WARNED YOU!" the scientist from before screamed, turning on his heel and running as fast as his feet could carry him.

"Hey! GET BACK HERE!" Ross bellowed as the man ran.

"General! The Hulk's escaping!" a frantic soldier cried as the Hulk, no longer under sonic bombardment, began to angrily smash the ground at his feet, breaking apart the liquid concrete that once held him down.

"Don't just stand there! Shoot him! SHOOT HIM!" Ross roared, the men abandoning their gel-spewing weapons and opening fire with automatic rifles, a horizontal deluge of lead bombarding the Hulk, only for the rounds to flatten against his skin as the jade giant shaded his face with his arm. "Tanks! Open fire!" he shouted, the two tanks from the convoy angling their turrets towards the hulk, powerful shells shearing through the air as they slammed into the Hulk, plumes of fire and smoke rising as the giant was sent rolling back.

Unfortunately, for Ross at least, the Hulk had raised his hands to block, and with them now free, he was able to grab the nearest Humvee, long since abandoned the moment things went FUBAR, and chucked it at the nearest tank like a softball. As the first tank went up in flames, the second one fired, but not only was the Hulk strong, but he was fast too, sidestepping to the right as the shell sailed past him and into the hillside. The giant stomping forward like a force of nature, whatever soldiers stood in his way were battered aside like the victims of a drunken truck driver, the soldiers in the second tank desperately scrambling out and running in opposite directions as the Hulk descended upon them.

Wrapping his hands around the barrel of the cannon and warping the metal with his grip, the Hulk threw the tank over his shoulder before bringing it down to the ground, its treads violently exploding outward as the Hulk spun on his heel, round and round and round until he tossed the massive moving weapon into the now-empty APC, which too went up in a ball of flame.

Turning slowly, footfalls shaking the ground, the Hulk let out a low growl which turned into a massive "GRAAAAAAAAAAH!", the following bringing-together of his colossal hands letting out a massive *CLAP*, the shockwave through the air scattering what remained of Ross' ranks, the goliath letting out one last roar before running north, before suddenly leaping hundreds of feet into the air, a dot of green leaping high into the horizon, getting smaller and smaller until disappearing entirely.

*HULK HUNTING*

'OH crap, OH crap, OH crap, running, running, running!' Virgil cried to himself as he scrambled towards the Stryker as fast as his legs could carry him, the Mk. IV tucked under his arm much to Otacon's protest.

"Snake! Put me down!" Otacon cried over Codec.

"Not until I've put as much distance between me and Ross as physically possible!" he snapped back as he ran, the Nanosuit pumping performance-enhancing narcotics through his system, his forest-covered body a veritable blur as the trees shot by him.

On the off-chance any of Ross' men did catch a glance of him, they'd probably think it was Bigfoot in track shoes.

"Well slow down, will you?" Otacon said as the forests began to clear up. "You're about to run into the-"

*WHAM*

Moments later, Virgil had run right into the side of the Stryker, which he had forgotten was completely invisible in his haste. He was disoriented, laid out flat on his back as the OctoCamo shifted rapidly from Forest Floor to Dirt Road to Default, the Mk. IV thrown aside and broken in a few places.

"Hey kid! What the fuck are you doing!?" Tucker cried as he scrambled out the back, dragging Virgil into the back by his shoulders before scooping up all the Mk. IV's pieces and tossing them in the back. "We gotta go! Now!" he shouted as he set the door to seal shut, the Stryker's stealth systems at maximum as it drove to put as much distance between itself and Ross' ground zero as physically possible.

*HULK HUNTING*

"You're lucky I keep ice packs around for hangovers, otherwise there'd be a lot of swelling," Tucker said over his shoulder to Virgil, who was strapped into his seat in the Stryker's back, said ice pack to his head.

"Dude… Not so loud… My ears are still ringing…" Virgil groaned as he adjusted the bag of ice to his head. Like how a concussion is when one's brain bounces against the inside of their skull, the sudden stoppage had caused him to smack up against the inside of his helmet, like some kind of double-concussion.

"And you're sure you collected all the Mark Four's parts, right?" Otacon asked.

"For the hundredth time, yes!" Tucker snapped back, completely exasperated by the repeated questioning.

"Alright… Because all of that is custom-made hardware, and I do not want to have to replace-

*Click*

"Man, that guy's such a priss," Tucker said cutting the Codec's receiver off.

"The guy's serious about his craft. Cut him some slack," Virgil groaned as he rubbed his temples. If what Dr. Yumeno and Athena both told him was accurate, than the concussion he might've gotten from that last stop would probably be fixed up by the time he got home.

Brushing of a concussion still hurt like hell though.

"So… What do we do now?" Virgil asked as he changed out of his mission gear and back into his normal clothes.

"Hmmm…" Tucker hummed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel before turning around and saying- "You feel like having Burger King?"

" . . . Huh?" Virgil asked, having never expected to hear "Burger King" brought up during a stealth mission. Or any kind of mission for that matter.

*HULK HUNTING*

"So… That was a thing," Virgil said as he sat atop the Stryker, a combo meal of chicken nuggets, fries, and a drink at his side as passer-by gawped at the APC that just ordered drive-through. Obviously, he'd changed into his street clothes.

"Yeah, well, what can you do about it?" Tucker asked, chugging a grape soda with a stack of double-cheeseburgers at his side.

"Are you sure we should be out in the open like this?" he asked, finding that the Stryker was the center of attention.

"It's cool, it's cool. DREBINS has licenses to deal arms in most of the civilized world, so there isn't any reason we can't be here. And it's not like Ross can come up to us and ask what we're doing here without screwing himself."

"You mean aside from how he screwed the pooch an hour ago?"

"Bow chicka bow wow," the man chuckled.

"Riiight…" Virgil drawled as he went back to his food. As soon as he pulled his way out of the suit, the fatigue that came from that mission hit him like… like… Like some kid's goofy dad driving the family station wagon through the living room wall and wondering why there was a couch in the garage. "So when do I go back home?"

"Probably after Ross packs up his toys and leaves," Tucker replied with a shrug. "Less of a chance of running into one another."

"So then we've got a few hours to burn…" Virgil hummed to himself as he ate his chicken nuggets. "Hey Tucker."

"Yeah?"

"You up for crossing the Canadian border for a snack run?"

"If by snack run, you mean pick up chicks, I could eat. Bow chicka bow wow!" the man replied with a wide grin on his face.

'DREBINS lets a guy like this sell guns?' Virgil thought to himself as he sipped from his soda.

*HULK HUNTING*

FoxCry Underground
September 25, 20:30 EST

After making a quick snack run into Canada, which Tucker was upset to learn was not meant as an opportunity to pick up Canadian chicks, the two went back stateside once Ross had packed up his toys and left the state. After that it was another five-hour trip cross-country, a couple in-flight movies to help pass the time. That Four Seven Niner also watched with him instead of flying the plane was both worrying, yet at the same time made her less-intimidating to be around.

He had surrounded himself with a lot of colorful people in recent months. Particularly women.

'I need to find some guy-friends my own age or something,' he thought to himself.

The plane landed two-and-a-quarter movies later, and almost as soon as Virgil had gathered his belongings, he'd been ushered into the Black Van and herded off towards FoxCry's freight elevator. One part of him wanted to go straight home, to the Red Light, and lay down to saw many, many logs. Unfortunately, while the entire mission had been recorded by his helmet cam, standard procedure still dictated that he report back to base for an in-person debriefing.

It was for this reason that Virgil was back in the War Room, and via Codec conference call, had relayed his personal account of the mission to Re-l and Colonel.

"So then it was your intention to make the destruction of the sonic emitters look like an accident?" Colonel asked for clarification.

"Yes. If those things exploded for no reason, Ross might've suspected outside interference. That's why I waited for the right opportunity to present itself. I'm just lucky Ross completely disregarded the advice of tech support so he could put the screws to Banner," Virgil replied.

"And if no such opportunity had presented itself?"

"I'd have shot at least one of them, give Hulk the best chance to escape on his own. If push came to shove, I would've gone for two out of three, but that would've been pushing it, and I'd rather not blow my cover on the first mission."

"Hm. I see," Colonel nodded. "Fortunately, Ross has lost enough equipment in the past that he hasn't dug too deeply in why his sonic weapons failed. There's nothing to imply his suspicions of outside involvement, and if there is, a little data manipulation will be able to fix that."

"Alright. That's good," Virgil said with a nod, happy that his first mission had gone over so well. "So… Not to be that guy," he said bobbing his head. "But when do I get paid? If Banner had spotted me and went tall, green, and gruesome, he'd have squeezed me out of my suit like a bottle of toothpaste."

"I believe a copy of your expense report has been sent to your cabin. You can get more details there."

"Alright. That's good, that's good," he said nodding his head. "Will that be all?"

"Yes, that is all. Dismissed… Snake," the man said with a pause before giving a salute, his holographic form in AR disappearing moments later.

"So… What now?" Virgil asked turning to Re-l's hologram.

"Now… I would suggest returning to your cabin, look over your expense report, and get some rest," Re-l advised. "We got a lot of new data on Nanosuit functionality from that last mission, so you're free to go back home tomorrow morning at your earliest convenience."

*HULK HUNTING*

'Alright… let me think…' Virgil said as he made his way back to the elevators. 'Nanosuit and the Mark Four are back at the lab… Predator Bow's back at the armory… and I've got a nice paycheck waiting for me back at my room. Am I forgetting anything?' he mused to himself as he passed Med Bay, only to find Snake waiting for him in front of the Level 2 directory. "Snake? What's up?"

"Not much. Just thought I'd see how things are going," the man replied, an unlit cigarette between his lips. "How was your mission?"

"It went well. Colonel says I'm pretty much in the clear with Ross, and Banner gets to do his nerd-thing for a few months more while old Thunderstache scrambles to get more money together," he said trying to coin a funny nickname for the loud-mouthed general. "My real concern is what Banner left behind. I just hope no-one's dumb enough to touch anything with their bare hands."

*HULK HUNTING*

Spokane, Washington
September 25, 13:25 UTC

"It doesn't matter," a man by the name of Emil Blondsky spoke as he stared at the flaming wreckage that was once Banner's cabin. "This… is just the beginning."

"I hope you're satisfied, Blondsky. The Hulk got away," Ross chastised, quite upset his latest capture attempt failed.

"He'll turn up. He's a freak, and a conspicuous one. I'm more concerned with what Banner left behind," he said as his attention turned to an upturned piece of roof. "There! I want that bio-container before it's destroyed!" he instructed, moving toward it even before the guys in haz-mat suits could come over.

"Careful, Blondsky! You have no idea what you're playing with."

"I have a job to do, General. Banner left his toys in the playground, and I'm not about to watch them burn," he said edging towards the fire, seemingly with no concern for his own safety as he wrapped his hand around a metal cylinder, sparks jumping off of it before the energy was discharged through his body. "AAAAUUGH!"

*HULK HUNTING*

FoxCry Underground
Present

"But what're the odds of that happening?" Virgil asked rhetorically with a shrug of his shoulders a few moments later. " . . . Snake?"

"Yeah?"

"Is the first mission always this hard?" Virgil asked. He'd soldiered through it like a bonafide badass, stuffing himself with snacks and drinks on the plane, but even hours later and he was still exhausted, both physically and mentally.

"Hm. Not always," Snake replied. "Your first mission was just reconnaissance and information-gathering. I was asked on numerous occasions to disarm and destroy Metal Gears."

"The bipedal nuclear weapon-armed tanks?" the brunette asked, remembering one of the topics that Dana had spoken to him about during their time together in NYZ.

According to her, the term "Metal Gear" had first been coined by Soviet weapons scientist Aleksandr Leonovitch Granin in 1964 to describe the "missing link" between infantry and artillery: infantry could roam the battlefield at will, but were both vulnerable and lacking in firepower; artillery could inflict immense damage upon an opponent while resisting similar damage, but was at the mercy of terrain. The Metal Gear was essentially a tank with legs that enabled it to traverse the battlefield while dealing and repelling enemy forces on a scale never before seen.

The information on their existence had only recently been declassified, but most people didn't care in the slightest since "it doesn't affect me". Yet for whatever reason, they all wished to waste brain cells memorizing how many butt-injections that one Cardashian chick got up her white-girl ass.

"Yeah," the man said shrugging his shoulders as they made their way to the elevators. "Wound up averting nuclear catastrophe three times over. For that reason, the special ops soldier Solid Snake is considered a war hero."

'The way he said it... Is he trying to distance himself from that title?' Virgil thought to himself. "Next to guys like Big Boss and Captain America?" he then asked.

"To be fair, Captain America disappeared at the end of World War Two after stopping the Red Skull from dropping nukes on America, and the only ones he really fought were Hydra in small skirmishes. Big Boss, while leading the Diamond Dogs, was able to appropriate and disarm some two-hundred thousand nukes during the Cold War," the man elaborated. "They still made more nukes in the following decades, but it doesn't change the fact that, for a time, Big Boss was able to create a nuke-free world."

"What ever happened to him?"

"Died of heart failure in the Arlington Memorial Cemetery in Washington DC," the man said tossing a lighter in his hands, before pocketing it once again. "I thought I'd gotten him some years earlier with a bottle of hairspray and a lighter, but it turned out to be his phantom."

" . . . That would sound... so much more awesome if I had the appropriate context," Virgil stated. While he did now have privy to all kinds of classified information, being part of a government outfit, he simply hadn't had time to go through it all. Thus, he'd have to find out just what Snake had been doing in his younger days in order for any of these stories to make even an iota of sense.

*HULK HUNTING*

Passing through the Cafeteria, then the Lounge, Virgil entered his pass code into the touchscreen by the door to the VIP Barracks. Something he noticed was that the numbers did not remain in the same place, but they instead alternated position after each keystroke. Probably so that fingerprints couldn't be used to extrapolate the pass code. They really went the extra mile for security, didn't they?

Passing through the door, Virgil was greeted by a long hallway, six doors running down each side, odds on the left, evens on the right. None of the doors were labeled, likely so an infiltrator wouldn't know who was in what rooms. Even if they were targeting someone in particular, if they went to the wrong door, intent wouldn't matter, the hall's gassing protocols would lock them in and flood the room with inert gas, snuffing out the air of that confined space.

"Home sweet home-away-from-home," Virgil muttered to himself as he placed his hand to the scanner, entered the password, and crossed the threshold of #12. The room was 8ft wide, 12ft long, and 10ft high. To the back of the room was a private bathroom with a toilet and walk-in shower. To the front of the room to the right of the door was a Murphy Bed, currently folded up into the wall. Across from it was a desk with a personal computer. The left wall nearest the bathroom was dominated by a wardrobe, and to the left of that closer to the door was a bookshelf that was currently empty. The colors were mostly beige, with dark-colored wood paneling, the floor a uniform shade of eggshell white.

"F.I.L.S.S.," Virgil spoke around as he made his way to the desk.

"Yes, Virgil?" F.I.L.S.S. asked in return, having days ago acknowledged his request to be addressed as "Virgil" and not his legal name Vincent. The FOXHOUND Integrated Logistics and Security System, abbreviated F.I.L.S.S., was a computer system AI that worked to help regulate functionality of The Bunker post-retrofit. She had eyes and ears in most rooms, and if problems existed she had the capability of troubleshooting them before they evolved into bigger problems. Thankfully, she was kept entirely separate from the in-base security, which only human hands could manipulate.

"Can you pull up the expense report from my recent mission, particularly the paycheck?" he asked pulling out his chair.

"Of course," the AI replied, his screen coming to life, and within seconds, the bulk of his expense report was highlighted for him.

"F.I.L.S.S. Please explain these mission parameters," he said pointing to the terms Revenue, Expenses, the terms underneath them.

"Certainly. Starting with Revenue," the AI replied. "Mission Clear Reward: This parameter is dictated only by the completion of the mission itself. The amount of pay differs based upon the context of the mission, taking risk, likelihood of combat, travel distance, and other factors into account. The Mission Clear Reward is similar to the payment that special forces operatives receive. Performance Reward: This is a form of bonus that is dictated by how well or how skillfully you're able to complete your selected mission. Similar to some video games, Performance Reward ranges from D, C, B, A, and S-Rank. In the recent mission, while you were able to maintain yours and FOXHOUND's anonymity, failure to collect all of Banner's data resulted in point deduction. For this reason, you only received an A-Rank Performance Award, instead of the highest, an S-Rank. Regardless of this, that is still an admirable feat for your first mission, and a substantial monetary bonus to boot."

"Moving onto Expenses," F.I.L.S.S. said highlighting the next tier of the left column. "Deployment Cost: Each mission has a set budget in which to complete it. Things like travel arrangements, choice in weapon loadout, and ammunition expenditure are just some of the expenses which are deducted from your mission pay. I believe the expression "Make every shot count." applies here. For this reason, it is recommended that you be frugal with how many resources you expend. Resources not used in one mission can be carried over into the next, as resource acquisition unto itself has its costs. Support Cost: In the event that outside involvement is required, the cost of these deployments are subtracted from your overall pay. Use of the Fulton surface-to-air recovery system, requisition of bombing runs or air strikes, and calls for backup deployment among other things are all deducted. While it is advised to make the most of the resources available to you, just be aware that frivolous usage of military assets detract from your bottom line."

"And all these little subtractions at the bottom?"

"Deductions from your pay for things like life insurance, health insurance, car insurance, 401K, and others."

"Hmmm…" Virgil said eyeing the Total at the bottom. "A little over five-hundred for two-days' worth of work, huh? Seems fair for just a recon," he said before noticing something at the bottom. "Hey, what is this GMP annotation at the bottom?"

"That would be the abbreviation of Gross Military Product. GMP is essentially another form of credit which you can funnel towards the research of Nanosuit Modules, or acquisition of new resources for personal use in future missions," F.I.L.S.S. explained. "The dosage of Nano Catalyst which enabled the Nanosuit to utilize OctoCamo was a freebie, but all future developments of the Nanosuit, will be up to your discretion. This gives you some tactical freedom in deciding how you wish to cultivate and customize the Nanosuit prototype."

"Hm. I see," Virgil said as he went back to his console's homepage, seeing a tab labeled Research. "I guess I can look through this for a bit before going home tomorrow," he said clicking the tab and looking through what was available. Some of it was for weapons, some of it was for gear, and some for more Nano Catalyst, but that last one was WAY expensive.

*HULK HUNTING*

Bludhaven
September 26, 10:40 EST

Getting his body clock back in order was a little tricky. Because of that, Virgil wound up sleeping through his alarm when he intended to be back at the Red Light in time for breakfast. Also, because he forgot to pack a spare set of clothes, he had to re-wear what he'd been using the past two days, so admittedly, he was a bit smelly.

'Remind me to buy some more clothes for The Bunker,' Virgil thought to himself as he made his way to the Red Light's back door. After almost having Banner use him as a person-sized toothpaste, Virgil's steps were much softer than before. Even that one creaky step made no noise as he snuck his way upstairs, right past Moxxi and all her paying customers as they shamelessly ogled her exposed cleavage.

The moment he stepped into the den however...

"And just wheeere have you been, jiiive turkey?" Tina asked in her black-person speak, snapping her fingers and bobbing her head with a "Mmm-hmm".

"Uh-"

"And don'ts you even think about saying you were 'taking a walk'. That shit don't flyyy with me, sugar!"

Cue head-bobbing and finger-snapping.

"Well-"

"'Thena be worried sick about you. Girl don't eat, don't sleep."

"I just wasn't feeling hungry or sleepy," said blond interjected.

"She don't even go to the bathroom!"

"Okay, now you're going overboard!" the blond interrupted.

"And just what do you have to say for yourself, fine sir?" Tina asked jabbing a finger at Virgil in her British voice.

" . . . I've got Canadian bacon," the brunette said holding up the brown paper back with said Canadian bacon where within.

"Ohmigawd! Canadian bacoooon!" Tina squealed in her little-girl voice, lunging at the brunette and scuttling across his body like an adorable prepubescent xenomorph before grabbing the brown paper bag from his hands, holding it in her teeth as she scurried off to her room, the door slamming behind her.

"Well… That went… exactly as predicted…" the brunette said in a deadpan. Were this an anime, he'd have a grapefruit-sized bead of sweat dripping down the back of his head. "So yeah… I'm back…" he said turning his attention back to Rina and Athena. "How was your weekend so far?"

"Good. Where'd you go?" Rina asked.

"Athena… didn't tell you?" Virgil asked.

"She said you had to step out of town for a while, but she didn't say where or why."

"Oh… I see…" 'Probably just as good then.' "Nothing too major," he brushed off. If he'd gone toe-to-toe with the Hulk, that would've been major. Thus, if he used that as the milestone, then he could say "nothing too major" as many times as he needed and not feel guilty about it.

"Hey what the hell, Canada! This is just sliced ham!" Tina ranted from behind her door.

"Yeah, kinda figured she'd find out," Virgil muttered under his breath. "So anyway... Anything interesting happen while I was out of town?"

"Brick punched a guy so hard all his blood came out," Rina replied without a skipped beat.

"Um... Explain?" Virgil said turning to the certified genius in the room.

"Actually, she pretty much hit the nail on the head with that one," Athena replied with a shrug. "I'm still trying to figure out how it's physically possible."

" . . . I keep saying I won't be surprised by stuff anymore, yet somehow, I still am," Virgil said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"So... How did things go on your trip?" Athena asked.

"They went well. Your going-away present really helped me out."

"Oh, well, I'm glad I could get it up to spec."

"I'll just leave you two alone," Rina said as she walked out, leaving Virgil and Athena in the den to themselves. Aside from the low whine of the TV as it cut out, or the traffic outside, or Tina ranting about Canada's "false advertising" in high-class British, there wasn't really any noise to speak of, leaving the two in a rather awkward silence.

"So um... There really weren't any complications?" Athena probed.

"Not in the slightest. Everything worked like a dream," Virgil replied.

"Oh... I'm glad."

"Sooo... Uh..." he said rubbing his right cheek, his face flushing a bit. "About the kiss..." he trailed off, Athena's face flushing red as well. "It was... really nice," he finished with a small smile.

"Oh, well, thank you," Athena said clasping her hands together. "I'm just glad you're home safe and sound."

" . . . Do you want to talk about it?" Virgil asked scratching the back of his head. "The kiss, I mean."

" . . . I'd like that," Athena eventually replied with a small smile.