superpierce: I didn't hear you mention mutants before especially during the chapter where Storm was in but does that mean the X-Men are also in this?
NeoNazo356: I'm pretty sure I explained the differences between Meta-Humans (DC) and Mutants (Marvel) in the fact that they co-exist within a shared universe earlier in the narrative of the story when Virgil was ruminating about SPBs and the contextual differences between Metas and Mutants. As for the X-Men, there's a reason I haven't mentioned them in any significant capacity.
Blaze1992: Did they seriously just use him as a lab rat for untested Rad treatments which could've f**king killed him!
NeoNazo356: You have to remember, he DID consent for Clinical Trials after joining FoxCry, and since the Medical Nanotech in his system represents a SIGNIFICANT investment of Capital, as well as the Prototype Nanosuit as-testing, they wouldn't do something that COULD kill him unless they minimized the risks. Human Testing IS a necessity for advancing Pharmaseuticals out of the prototyping stage, and the entire point was making sure the radiation didn't kill him. Metallic Archaea neutralizing radioactive particles is part of why his Downtime was so small, despite the significant Total Body Irradiation on his part.
Arnold (Guest): Arnold:Metallic Archaea was introduced to Virgil's bloodstream? Does Virgil know this? And why refer Virgil as a specimen? Gives me the heeby jeebies.
NeoNazo356: Yes. No. Foreshadowing. And, that was the intent.
*CLASH OF CLANS*
Bludhaven
November 14, 08:21 EST
"God it's good to be home…" Virgil sighed tiredly as he made his way back to the Red Light, fresh from quarantine with a good night's sleep at The Bunker so as to not wake the others in the middle of the night.
An ordinary person would've been dead several times over from the kind of radiation he'd been subjected to, but thanks to H&RB's cutting-edge pharmaceuticals and radiation treatments he was able to avoid any long-time complications. The fact that he didn't need to get any bone marrow replaced was a plus too, because that would probably be really hard to hide from the sharper-eyed members of the Moxxi Household.
That and if it left scars he'd never be able to wear shorts again, lest he be forced to answer some very difficult questions.
An added plus of the mission of course was that putting himself in harm's way to protect the others from the Radioactive Man had ingratiated him to the other Freelancers, tearing down some of the invisible walls that had separated them before. While initially he was a lucky kid privileged with bleeding edge military technology who needed his hand held, after receiving the name "Washington" from his peers, he felt like he really was one of them. Someone who could walk by their sides instead of hanging in the back.
Hopefully in the future, his response to unforeseen circumstances would be something better than "Suplex City" and stabbing them with a blood-sucking "Hidden Blade".
He still wasn't comfortable with possibly having to become a "corpse vampire" in the future, desecrating bodies on the battlefield by turning them into mummies like in the attached pictures on the technical specs; but at least getting a cool name like "Washington" took some of the nauseating edge off.
He just hoped the name wouldn't cause him any kind of complication in the future.
*CLASH OF CLANS*
"Hey, before I forget, whatever happened to that man in the robot suit?" Virgil asked into his Codec.
It'd be for the best if he got these lingering thoughts out of the way before he dragged them into the home in which he was staying.
"You mean the Titanium Man?" Otacon asked.
"Yeah. That guy."
"Well, let's see…" Otacon said as he typed on his keyboard. "According to the post-mission report, Boris was immediately taken to a black site for summary interrogation. Officially, Boris Bullski is a traitor gone rogue with stolen military tech, but there's been speculation abound that's simply a cover-up to allow the Russians to have their pet super-mercenary run about without leaving a trail of red tape behind. However, since the Russians have yet to request he be expedited back to their country, it's possible they only see him as a liability now. If they were to reinstate him as their Titanium Man, or if it were revealed he was let free, this would likely spark a massive outcry through the UN. In all likelihood, they've now abandoned him for his failure."
"And what became of his armor?"
"FOXHOUND seized it from evidence and have begun to reverse-engineer the tech that went into it. While the Russians have fallen behind the west in some aspects, there might still be a few nuggets of tech that's worth appropriating. Spoils of war and all that."
"Won't the Russians want it back?"
"They might, but since the armor was 'destroyed' in the conflict, they won't really be able to tell if what we send back is the real armor, or just a pile of broken machine parts," he chuckled.
"Hmmm… Well, it's not like this would be the first time America stole tech from a foreign power," Virgil hummed, thinking back to how German scientists had helped America beat Russia to the moon. "And the Radioactive Man? Were you able to catch him before he fled the country?"
"Unfortunately, no," Otacon sighed. "FOXHOUND pressed Boris for information on where he might've gone, but by the time we got to their FOB, Igor was already long gone. Any traces of radiation leakage from the wound you inflicted on him disappeared as well, so it's likely he's gone to ground with a fresh inhibitor, and who-knows-how-many supplies and capital. After what happened here, I doubt he'll rear his head again unless the reward is worth the risk. After the botched hostage exchange, he's jumped up a few ranks on Interpol's international watch list, especially since he's a nuke with feet."
"Well, as long as he's out of my hair, I'll let him be someone else's problem," Virgil muttered. "So how are the other Freelancers holding up?"
"They should be out of Quarantine in a few more days. The only reason you're out sooner, despite getting more rads than them, is because your medical nanotech was a huge help in accelerating your recovery."
"So what? Should I remain on standby?" Virgil spoke, asking what was really on his mind.
"No. For the time being, you've been given leave from active duty," Otacon replied. "After all the risks you took, you've definitely earned it, so enjoy yourself a nice vacation. If we need you, we'll give you a call."
'Well, no more talk about work,' Virgil thought as the smell of piss and booze became a little more-prominent. 'Time to face the music. Hope I wasn't gone too long.'
*CLASH OF CLANS*
"Virgil! You're back!" Athena cried out the moment she saw him; about a minute or so after he stepped into the living room.
"H-Hey!" Virgil yelped as the girl threw herself at him, arms wrapped around his midsection. "Glad to see you're… so full of energy," he groused, trying to find the right words as her womanly bosom pressed into his chest.
"You're gettin' a boner over there, ain't ya?" Tina asked cheekily.
"Nobody asked you!" the brunette hissed.
"So…" Athena greeted with a bright smile. "How was your trip?"
"It was… uneventful," he replied, thinking back to his quarantine; and nothing else.
"Well, as long as you aren't hurt, that's good-enough for me," Athena smiled. "So… Now that you're back, maybe you'd like to-"
"Hey, Slab! Welcome back!"
The next moment a massive meat hook clapped roughly across the teen's back, throwing him to the floor with a hearty *THUD* in response to the mountainous man's monstrous strength.
" . . . Ow."
"Brick, no rough-housing. He can't do the thing if you send him to the hospital," Lilith chided.
"What thing?" Virgil asked looking up.
"We just… need you to be our driver, that's all," Roland stepped in. "The four of us have a few errands we need to do as a group, and it'll just be faster to have the extra help along."
"Can't you ask someone else? Virgil just got back," Athena pouted.
"Sorry, sweetie, it's kind of important, and we need all hands on deck for this one," Lilith returned, clapping her hands. "Don't worry, we won't damage the goods before you get a crack at him~" the red-head said with a knowing smile, Athena blushing bright red.
"F-Fine…" the blond relented. "But if I find so much as a scratch on him…!"
"Don't worry, he won't be anywhere on the front lines," Roland said holding up his hands. "Besides, if he does a good job, maybe he'll be able to get his driver's license, take you somewhere nice out-of-town."
"I don't even have a car yet," Virgil said with a deadpan.
He of course wasn't going to blab about having over a hundred grand stashed under a loose floor board under his bed in his room.
"You can borrow ours," Lilith said tossing him the keys. "After Thanksgiving, the four of us will probably take the RV on a cross-country tour, so it might be good to leave the old girl with someone we can trust."
"Is 'cross-country tour' code for seeking out paid ass-kicking?" Virgil asked flatly.
"It depends on where the wind takes us," Mordecai replied as he held up his arm, Bloodwing flying onto his extended arm. "Come on. Let's get going while it's still daylight out," he said stroking the bird's chin.
"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya," Virgil sighed.
*CLASH OF CLANS*
"Remember, drive super-casual," Mordecai coached as they drove to the edge of town in their van.
"I am. You don't have to back-seat-drive me," Virgil growled from behind the wheel.
At the moment the Fortune Hunters were all piled into their van, the sixteen year-old driving them all to the northeastern part of Bludhaven. The neighborhood was prettier than out by the docks where the worst elements of Bludhaven were out on full display, but the neighborhood was still pretty skeevy. There were forests and mountains visible in the distance, hence this part of Bludhaven was also known as The Highlands.
One could even be compelled to make a- "there can only be one" -highlander joke.
"Where exactly am I driving you to again?"
"It's coming up on your left riiiiight… now," Lilith said pointing out the window, Virgil slowing the van down on the near-deserted street as he beheld the Fortune Hunters' intended destination.
It was a beat-up old building, even among the other old buildings surrounding it, styled like an Irish pub with lots of green ornamentation, shamrocks, and green bowler hats. The sign above the door read The Holy Spirits, and the familiar scent of booze wafted into the cracked window.
"You had me drive you out here for a drink?" Virgil asked exasperatedly. "You could've stayed at home for this! And I could've been doing… anything else today!"
"What, like swap spit with your girlfriend?" Mordecai asked.
"Or play tonsil tennis?" Brick teased.
"Or do the nast-"
"Enough," Roland cut in before Lilith could egg him on. "Virgil, we aren't here for a drink. We have some business to take care of inside, but we need you to keep the engine running. We'll only be there for a minute, and it's important we don't linger."
"So what, I'm your getaway driver?" Virgil asked with a raised brow. "What the hell are you going to do in there?"
"Nothing that'll trace back to you," Roland said reassuringly. "Can I count on you for this?"
" . . . Fine. But I'd better get an explanation after this," Virgil returned begrudgingly.
If they could convince him to act as live bait for a haunted muscle car and then help exorcize it one part at a time, they could convince him to be a getaway driver… Or whatever.
"Alright. Once we're parked at the end of the block, we'll make our way into The Holy Spirits. Does everyone have their lager?" Roland asked as he held up a bottle.
"Right here," Lilith replied.
"Yup," Brick nodded.
"I've got two," Mordecai said as he began chugging from one of them.
"Um… Why the hell're you getting sauced now?" Virgil asked with a raised brow. "I thought you said you weren't coming here for a drink."
"The Zafords won't let is in there unless we're so wasted 'Ellie looks like she has Moxxi's curves'~" Mordecai slurred drunkenly, the others going a little red in the face before shaking it off, making their way out of the van and toward the bar up the street.
"What the hell have I gotten myself into?" Virgil found himself asking as he watched the Fortune Hunters enter the Irish pub from the side-view. He didn't know if the Irish were really the sort to make being sauced an entry requirement, but by the fact they entered The Holy Spirits without any issue, it must've worked.
As for his previous question, it was soon answered a few minutes later as the sounds of violence and the occasional gunshot sounded out from the bar, a chair followed by a drunken Irishman sent flying out the front window before the Fortune Hunters followed suit, shaking glass out of their clothes as they ran back to the van, spilling into the back.
"Drive!" Lilith shouted, pounding on his seat.
"Guys… What the hell am I driving away from?" Virgil asked over his shoulder as he began to pull out.
"Um… Well…"
"We crashed a wake," Brick chuckled before Lilith could put it any more delicately than literally that.
"You WHAT?!" Virgil shrieked as he slammed his foot on the brake, throwing the Fortune Hunters forward.
"Listen, I know it sounds really bad, but I assure you, there's a perfectly-good reason for this," Lilith assuaged as she rubbed her head.
"Which we can explain as soon as we drive away!" Roland said as a beat-up Irishman dragged himself out of the bar and into the light.
" . . . You guys better be really right about this," Virgil grumbled as he drove off, pulling around the corner to the left before they could be seen.
*CLASH OF CLANS*
"Talk."
It wasn't a request. It was a demand. One that was going to be acquiesced to.
"Right. So… Where to begin?" Roland hummed after the van pulled into the parking lot of a fast food joint on the opposite side of town, Brick and Mordecai going inside to grab some food while they laid low.
"The beginning would be nice," Virgil said tersely. "What the hell did I drive away from just then? Why the hell did you crash a wake? What the fuck did you drag me into?!"
"Well… It kinda started a couple days ago…" Lilith began.
*CLASH OF CLANS*
The Dust: Ellie's Garage
November 11: 13:33 EST
"Thanks for comin' out to see me, y'all. Got a fun little project for ya," Ellie greeted the Fortune Hunters after heeding her summons. "Howd'you feel about gang wars? The Hodunks and the Zafords have been havin' a half-assed feud for years, and I been thinkin' the world might be a tensy, weensy bit better if all of 'em were dead. Or at least one of 'em. Grab those explosives and the clan emblems. The emblems are back in the junkyard. Here's my plan: you go to the Hodunk territory, do that thing you do - by which I mean shoot lotsa people and look damn good doin' it – and leave the Zaford emblem as a calling card. Then you head to the Zaford territory in the Highlands and do the same thing with the Hodunk emblem. Sound good?"
*CLASH OF CLANS*
Present + 30 Minutes Later
"So…" Lilith hummed after summarizing their activities over the past few days. "Basically over the past few days we've been pestering the Hodunks and the Zafords so they'd break their ceasefire and finish the clan war they've put on hold."
To make a long story short, on the 11th, the Fortune Hunters blew up the Hodunk's pride-and-joy –the third-largest tire in the eastern US-, followed by the Zaford's private distillery, leaving opposing clan emblems at each site. On the same day, Mick Zaford put out an open call to arms that the Fortune Hunters were swift to answer, and blew up the Hodunk's auto speedway out in The Dust. Following this on the 12th, the Hodunks put out a similar call to arms, which the Fortune Hunters were once again quick to answer, after which they snuck into the Ale Wee Cavern and pinched the Zaford's cash stash. After that on the 13th, the Zafords, unaware of the duplicity of their "allies", were contracted to raze the Hodunk's trailer park to the ground. And today, the Hodunks, also-unaware of their allies' duplicity, contracted the Fortune Hunters to crash the annual Zaford wake in honor of the deceased clan leader's son, Lucky Zaford.
In short, thanks to Ellie's machinations, the family feud escalated to the point where property damage made way for a rapidly escalating body count.
"And did no-one think starting a clan war was a bad idea? What if it spilled into Bludhaven proper?!" Virgil demanded. "In case you've forgotten, I LIVE THERE!" he raged.
"Oh, don't worry about that. The Hodunks and Zafords both are terrified of Badass Creed, so they'll keep their rough-housing out of his jurisdiction. The fact that police cruisers don't do well in sand means the BPD aren't exactly motivated to go out into The Dust," Lilith replied.
"You…! But…! Roland! How can you be so cool with this?!" Virgil demanded.
"Hey, work is work," the man shrugged.
"How the hell am I the most-mature one here!?" the brunette raged. "Also, if you've already wrecked so much shit while I was out of town, why did you need me here today?!"
"We needed a getaway driver just in case things got dicey at The Holy Spirits," Lilith answered. "Everything before this was either a hit-and-run or a snatch-and-grab, but what happened at The Holy Spirits was a straight-up drunken bar brawl, so we needed a secure escape route."
"So you thought the best idea was to turn me into an accessory?!" Virgil asked, brow twitching angrily.
"To be perfectly frank, you weren't supposed to know about any of this. Crashing their wake for Lucky at The Holy Spirits was meant to be an easy in-and-out. The most you'd have known was that you were our driver while we ran errands, but clearly things aren't that easy," Lilith sighed. "Sorry things weren't as simple as keeping the engine running, but we needed all hands on deck at the wake, and also someone to make sure no-one jacked our ride."
" . . . I had better get a cut of the money after this shitstorm blows over," Virgil grumbled under his breath.
It wasn't that he was greedy. He just didn't like getting caught up in shit like this and not be compensated for it.
Plus, it'd still be another year until he'd get his cut for being live bait for a haunted muscle car.
"Don't worry, you will," Roland assured him.
'These guys must all have a screw loose if they thought dragging a minor into all this was a good idea,' Virgil thought to himself. 'Then again, who's to say anyone has 'threaded screws' upstairs anymore?'
"Hey guys, we're back," Mordecai slurred, still sauced from earlier.
"We've got burgers, and fries, and milkshakes, and-"
"We get it. You bought food," Virgil said as he reached into the double extra-large takeout bags and started eating. "So… What now?" he asked between bites of what appeared to be a bacon double-cheeseburger.
"Best bet is to sneak back to Moxxi's and wait for tomorrow. The Hodunks and the Zafords won't try and ambush one another in the middle of the night, they'll call one another out into the open and settle things 'like men'," Lilith hummed.
"I feel like I'm missing some context… But honestly I don't care anymore," Virgil sighed as he grabbed a drink, taking a hearty sip through the straw.
*CLASH OF CLANS*
Moxxxi's Red Light
November 14, 19:29 EST
'Dammit. I do care,' Virgil grumbled to himself that night, sleep completely eluding him as he rolled over in his bed, grabbing his phone, and dialing a number. After waiting several chimes to it to ring, the person on the other end finally picked up.
"Well howdy there, Virg! Caught me just as I was about to hit the hay. You here to give me some pillow-talk?"
"I got dragged into your little clan-war plan, so I think I'm entitled to some answers," Virgil grumbled.
"Oof, I'm sorry to hear that," Ellie winced. "So… What do you wanna know?"
"How about 'why', for starters. Why do you want the Hodunks out of the way? Why drag the Zafords into it too? And I don't want any of that 'make the world a better place' crap you fed the others, I want a real answer outta ya."
"What's the magic worrrrd~?"
"Please. Can you please give me some real answers as to why you want the Hodunks and Zafords out of the way?"
"Well sure thing, sweet pea," Ellie replied happily. "To be honest, it all started back when Moxxi, Scooter, and me first left the Hodunks. Jimbo was pretty angry 'bout it, but momma didn't want to raise the two of us alongside a buncha morons who'd sooner eat a baby than help raise one. That, and one time Jimbo told Moxxi to kill some dude or they was gonna turn me into the clan-wife. And she wasn't having none of that."
"Uh… Would they have really eaten a baby?" Virgil felt the need to ask.
Aforementioned "need" was due to the fact that he'd seen some really fucked-up shit in the Red Zone when the people living there still had a pulse.
"Hecks, yeah! The Hodunk are like if all the sick-and-wrong redneck trailer trash stereotypes had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews. If'n there's one thing they love just as much as their fast cars and their banjo-playin', it's gettin' to second base with their sisters."
"Sorry I asked," Virgil grumbled. He did not need that imagery in his head before bed. "What about the Zafords? How do they play into all this?"
"Well, that hot mess started back when Lucky busted momma's girl parts so they don't work no more. Scooter being the momma's boy he was went and buried him alive in a shallow grave, which broke the ceasefire between the Hodunks and Zafords. What'n they didn't know back then was that by that point, Scooter had already been estranged from the fam, but the Zafords blamed the Hodunks for it anyway."
"Do I even want to know what this Lucky guy did?" Virgil asked. "Scratch that, I'd rather not."
"Meh, your loss," Ellie shrugged.
'How the fuck would that be my loss?!' Virgil asked with a twitched brow, fighting the urge to speak aloud.
"Anyhow, the old ceasefire came to an end and the Clan War got back up, but things kinda went lame for the past couple years, so I decided to… help nature along, so to speak," Ellie finished.
"If the Zafords know who killed Lucky, and they're the worst kind of violent drunks there are, why the heck is Scooter still alive?"
It wasn't that he thought that way because they were Irish. He'd just heard a little bit about the Zafords while laying low after their wake got crashed.
That and the fact that participation in their wake had being drunk-as-hell as a prerequisite painted a negative light on them.
"Scooter lives a lil' too close to the Hodunk clan for the Zafords tastes, so they din't wanna start nothing unless they had a magic bullet," Ellie replied.
"And that's everything?" Virgil asked with a raised brow.
"Well, not everything," Ellie admitted. "Ma always said I wouldn't survive an all-out clan war between those idiots, so I guess part of me wanted to prove her wrong."
"And how much do I need to be worried about them?" Virgil asked. "What's to stop them from raiding the house and taking one of your sisters as the next 'clan-wife'?" he questioned, his blood boiling at the thought of anything happening to them; Athena in particular.
"If'n the Clan War hedges the numbers 'nough, you won't has to worry about my sisters anymore," Ellie replied. "I know the fam can take care of itself, but I worry 'bout 'em, so that's part of why I want those dumbasses outta the way too."
"Well, at least there's some method to your madness," Virgil sighed. "One last question before I go. Where exactly are the Hodunk and Zaford families going to duke it out?"
"By the half-buried Lynchwood train station out in The Dust. Why d'ya ask?"
"Because I've got a long night ahead of me," Virgil sighed as he got out of bed. "Thanks for the info. All things considered, I hope your little clan war goes well."
"Me too, sweet thang! Tell lil' Athena I said 'hi' before ya plow that virgin soil!"
"That's not what I…! Nevermind…" the brunette groaned, realizing the "long night" comment could've been taken out of context. "Ugh. The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can get back to bed," he told himself as he dug around under his bed for his Sneaking Suit. "This had better fucking pan out or I'm going to literally murder someone."
*CLASH OF CLANS*
The Dust
November 15, 11:55 EST
The following morning, the Fortune Hunters plus one made their way out to The Dust for the final showdown between the Hodunk and Zaford clans. According to the Hunters' contacts in each faction, the showdown was slated to start at "high noon" as both clans rallied their forces to settle their feud once and for all.
To make things even more messed up, each side was banking on the Fortune Hunters to help turn the tide, yet neither knew they'd been getting played for the past few days.
As the Fortune Hunters pulled up to a hill in the distance overlooking the train station, the Fortune Hunters got out of their van, scoping the place out.
"That's a lot of rednecks," Brick hummed as he looked through his binoculars.
"And Irish," Mordecai hummed.
"So… You think things'll work out like we want them to?" Roland asked.
"I think so. Neither of them tried luring us into some kind of trap, so I don't think they've compared notes or anything," Lilith hummed. "Still, I'm surprised you wanted to come out here and watch with us," she said turned to Virgil, who was standing in the remaining shade of their parked van. "Here I thought you wanted to wash your hands of this whole thing, but instead you're treating it like a spectator sport."
"Well, what can I say? Might as well see this thing through to the end," Virgil said with a shrug. "So…" he hummed reaching into his pocket. "What's the plan?"
"Mordy's going to fire a round between them and start the shootout a minute before the clock hits high noon," Lilith answered as Mordecai threw out a tarp, got on his belly, and readied his sniper rifle. "The further we are away from this powder keg when it blows, the better. And even if both clans don't off each other, whichever one's left won't have enough strength to pester Ellie, Scooter, or any of the Moxxi family."
"I see," Virgil nodded as he took a knee next to Mordy, eyeing both sides. Part of him felt a little guilty for what was about to happen, but if what Ellie said was factual, they kinda would be doing the world a favor by taking the Hodunks out, and the Zafords were a hazard to themselves and everyone around them.
Maybe it was part of being a Two-Percenter that allowed him to treat human lives so objectively… or maybe he was just always this fucked up in the head and he didn't notice until The Second Outbreak.
'Note to self. Get some therapy after this,' Virgil noted to himself.
Wouldn't due to let his mind, his most-powerful weapon, grow bent and warped beyond recognition, now would it?
"Hey kid, you mind grabbing me some beers from the cooler? I always shoot better with a little sauce in my system," Mordecai asked as he screwed on a suppressor.
"Yeah, sure, no problem," Virgil shrugged as he set something down and made his way to the back of the van, Brick setting up a lawn chair and viewing the inevitable slaughter like a spectator sport. "Hey, my hands are full with the beers. You mind pressing that switch for me?"
"You mean this?" Mordecai asked, picking up the remote control that Virgil left behind.
"Yeah, that one," Virgil said as he exaggeratedly dug through the cooler.
"Well…" Mordecai hummed as he beheld the remove, a single red button on top with an antennae sticking out of the front, the whole thing held together with super glue and duct tape. "I don't see why not," he shrugged as he pressed the button.
*Beep-beep*
*BOOM!*
*KABOOM!*
*KROOOOOOM!*
*WHOOOOOOOSH!*
"Kid…" Mordecai gawped as the old train station went up in flames. "What the heck did I just set off…?" he asked as he and the others beheld the mushroom clouds in the distance, chunks of redneck and Irish meat raining down into the sandy ground.
"About a dozen blocks of C4," Virgil said plainly, beers in hand, as though he were talking about the weather.
"Where the heck'd you get that much C4?!" Lilith gawped.
"Do you really want me to answer that question?"
"Was it Tina?" Brick asked. "I bet you got it from Tina, didn't you?"
"Pretty much, yeah," Virgil shrugged.
" . . . WHYYY?!" Lilith and Roland gaped.
"Weren't you going to help one side massacre the other all of five minutes ago?"
"Well… yeah, but…"
"Way I see it, whoever was left was going to harass the family no matter who you guys took out, so… since both sides annoyed the living hell out of me, at least by reputation, I decided to set up some C4 at their dueling ground last night while no-one was looking."
"That's… really fucking dark, man," Mordecai shuddered as a stray eyeball landed in the sand a couple meters away from him, staring at him.
"Says the guy who kills people for money."
" . . . Touché."
"So… We going to go back to Ellie's and get our money or not?"
"Forget Ellie's! We gotta move!" Lilith said as she dragged him by the arm back into the van, the others haphazardly tossing their shit into the back. "Its one thing for gangs to shoot each other in the desert, but you set an actual bomb off-"
"Mordy did it."
"There's going to be a police investigation!" Lilith said ignoring him. "We need to get out of the city, wait for the heat to die down, or at least get out of Creed's hair for long-enough we don't have to worry about him hauling all our asses to jail the next time he sees us!"
"To be fair, it's your fault for soliciting murder so close to home."
"No-one asked you!" Lilith cried as they piled into the van and sped away.
*CLASH OF CLANS*
"Remind me why I agreed to this again?" Virgil asked as he walked down the steps of the Red Light with several days' worth of clothes in his duffel bag.
"Because if Creed gets to you, you'll talk," Lilith said flatly.
" . . . Fine, whatever. After the month I've had, I could use a vacation," Virgil sighed.
"You're being pretty nonchalant for a guy who just incinerated a dozen people," Mordecai hummed.
"To be fair, you incinerated them. All I did was set up the bombs."
"Well yeah but…"
"Don't worry guys! They'll never make me squeeeeeal!" Tina cried out.
"Good girl," Virgil said patting the manic girl's head as they all tossed their luggage into the van.
"So, you ever been to Vegas before?" Brick asked as the van lurched under his weight.
"Vegas? Why there? Wouldn't it be enough to go anywhere out-of-state?" Virgil asked hopping in behind Mordecai.
"Well, yeah but, we gotta get rid of Ellie's blood money," Brick said patting an envelope full of money as payment for services rendered (read: solicited murder).
"Didn't you guys say there was no time to get the money?"
"Well, Ellie's place was on the way back, and leaving town without the money would just be leaving money on the table," Lilith admitted as she hopped in after Roland.
"Well… since I acted as your getaway driver through that whole hot mess, I'd better get a decent cut," Virgil grumbled as they peeled away from the Red Light as-casually as they could.
"There. I hereby buy your silence," Lilith said leafing through the sheaf of bills with a practiced hand before passing them to Virgil.
"Much appreciated," Virgil said as he leafed through the money before taking off his shoe and stuffing the money into the bottom of his sock.
"Uh… Why'd you put it there?" Brick asked quizzically.
"Because no-one checks the insides of socks at airport security," Virgil answered as he adjusted the money so it was resting atop his foot.
Since Virgil figured he was being monitored anyway, he didn't really feel the need to let his handlers know where he was going. Especially since they could probably track his phone or whatever.
That and if they needed him, they could just call him like regular people.
In all likelihood, they had some kind of nano-tracker in his system or something. He didn't really ask if they put something like that in his system while he wasn't looking, but he wouldn't put it past them to do so.
Not like they'd tell him about it even if he did ask.
"Still… Vegas, huh?" the teen hummed. "That actually sounds pretty exciting!"
"Ah, see? I knew you'd look much cuter with a smile on your face~" Lilith teased. "Athena's real lucky to hook a lady-killer like you. Give it a few years and you'll be beating off girls with a stick."
"Or men," Brick shrugged.
"Still, a shame you couldn't bring your girlfriend along," Mordecai sighed.
"Yeah, well, Athena doesn't have a passport and I can just feel Moxxi taunting me about taking her little girl out for a Vegas wedding," Virgil sighed, though honestly, the lack of a passport and her inability to come with him bummed him out more.
Still, avoiding jail time by staying out of Bludhaven for a few days was the more-pressing concern; in the long run.
"Here's hoping nothing too weird happens in Vegas," Virgil hummed as he hopped into the back, the Fortune Hunters and their plus-one heading for the airport outside of town.
*CLASH OF CLANS*
AN:
I changed up the "Clan War" mission where you play the Zafords and Hodunks against one another to have the BL1 cast involved, so I hope it was just-as-entertaining for those of you that've played BL2. Also, while most players in-game can finish up the Clan War missions in around a half-hour or so, in a real-world-esque setting, it'd take a few days for things to "escalate" between them, hence why certain antagonizing actions were staggered. Too much too soon and they'd get suspicious.