JDS62: oh no... not them... not CRMN, actually kill CRM and keep N she is at least interesting unlike, Daddy issues phantom pain version; kleptomaniac illusionist multipoint inclusivity; miss megalomaniacal superiority complex pyromaniac. Other than that glad to see that the familiar is being helpful, unlike other fics where they become either forgotten in a chapter or just become comic relief.
Re: What happens to the people from the Stinger will have a bit more nuance than that… but as soon as I decided that Morris would have full-on Shapeshifting power, I just had to go with the Faceless Rhesus Monkey bit and have him be something more than an over-glorified pet, you know?
Superpierce: How many chapters until canon?
Re: I have no way of knowing for certain, but there will be a few lesser timeskips and a larger one cutting out a decent chunk of 2010 leading up to the 4th of July.
Okaze: Microorganisms that can eat through metal and can be laced on the arrows. Good God terrifying is right.
Re: Truly, science is one of the most-powerful forces on Earth~
Kalbario: ...Oh Spit! you're bringing in RWBY in this!?. Actually, that doesn't sound so bad.
Wow it's been a long time my friend! Muse being a fickle tease again?
Re: I brought RWBY into this a while ago, though I was more subtle about it… And I'd like to think that my "reinterpretation" of the RWBY cast would be justified since the world of DCAU-E16 is radically different from Remnant.
Something like that. Trying to stay on my Rotation, but that just means I can do a quick triple-update every once in a while~
Wraith048: Who's ready for Miller's Maxi Burgers? I for one am famished for a delicious chemical burger.
Re: Heh~
*Cue Anya Forger Smirk*
TheWhiteKnight245: If the site do shutdown can you also post on webnoval
Re: I haven't used that site, so probably not.
Blaze1992: Umm I really hope the people at the end are not a boot headed for his life.
Re: You do realize his life is "80% boot" at this point, right...? I mean, he still has that "Final Boss" looming over his head.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
Gallup, New Mexico
December 21, 22:46 MST
After the Freelancers plus Code Talker got some late-night cheeseburgers at the Old Diné's insistence, Virgil scrambled for some sort of gift for the people in his life since he only had about… three days left not counting Christmas itself to get his shit together.
"Dammit, how could I have flaked so badly on this?" he asked tossing the rest of his burger to Morris, who devoured the chemically-augmented meat happily while facing away from everyone else, so no-one could see how something without a face actually ate.
"Youngling, you need to relax. Your thoughts betray you," Code Talker said holding up his peace pipe and offered it to him, another cheeseburger in his opposite hand.
" . . . Yeah, okay, a drug trip can't do any worse for my total brain fart on ideas," Virgil said taking a drag, coughing a few times as he proceeded to wrack his muddling thoughts.
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . You feel anything yet?"
"Well, I haven't spazzed out or anything so I don't think OH GOD IT'S STARTING!" he cried falling out of his seat.
*Thump*
" . . . So why this place?" Connie asked as she looked at the neon sign overhead, Miller's Maxi Buns. "Why not McDonalds, or a Burger King?"
"Hey, say what you will about the 'Chemical Burger', but this stuff is damn tasty!" South Dakota argued.
"Could've done with a better name though," her brother hummed.
"Oh, you have no idea," Code Talker hummed as he continued to eat his oddly-colored comfort food, Virgil wigging the fuck out in the background with Morris waddling over to offer comfort.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
Moxxxi's Red Light
December 22, 09:51 EST
'Thank god I'm finally sober again…' Virgil thought to himself many hours later as he was dropped off under the red neon of the Moxxi family home the next morning. Pushing open the door, Bag of Holding over his shoulder and wand up his sleeve-holster as the muted stench of human intoxication washed over him…
"Yo! Slab!"
"Guys, it's ten in the morning. How are you drunk already?" Virgil asked as Brick and Mordecai flagged him down.
"It isn't ten everywhere in the world," Mordecai hummed.
"So, where you been?" Brick asked.
"Work training," he groaned rubbing his eyes. "Anything happen while I was out?"
"Well, your girlfriend and Gaige have been talking, so that isn't a good sign," Mordecai began.
"Hey that isn't fair. They could have something completely benevolent in mind for him," Brick argued, sounding affronted. "To depend on our Victorian stereotypes of the mad-woman in the attic, to play on our prejudices about women as unstable and vengeful, is to reduce countless individuals to gender-based cartoons whose entire selfhood is determined solely by their reproductive organs. It diminishes me as a man to simply hear such canards recited."
Suffice it to say, Moxxxi's Red Light went completely sober and silent at the hulking wall's articulate and verbose articulation.
" . . . Have you been reading feminist literary theory?" Moxxi questioned off to the side.
Virgil opened his mouth to comment, but then paused because he had no idea if Moxxi's chosen lifestyle was the antithesis, or the very execution of, feminism.
"Literary theory? What's that? Does it taste good?"
Brick… was exactly as Virgil thought he was, only now he knew the man was fit to momentary fits of brilliance before potential brain-damage from all the head-punching made itself known again.
"Are the two of them together now?" he asked delineating from his internal monologue.
"In the workshop now. I'll call ahead and let them know you're back," Moxxi waved him off.
"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this," Brick said tossing a can Virgil's way.
The brunette deftly catching it, he saw that it was silver with a red band around it and the front view of a fist in white. Above said fist were the words WHUP-ASS in bold, blocky print, while underneath it in elegant cursive were the words- Colorado's #1 Fighting beer. Open up a can today.
"In case you need a little 'liquid courage'," Mordecai hummed knowingly.
" . . . I think I might have issues."
"You and everyone else who walks through those doors," Moxxi stated nonchalantly before Virgil walked off, beer can in hand.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
When the door to Athena's workshop whooshed open by its own accord before his knuckles could be struck upon it, Virgil took it as maybe a bad sign. What he walked in on…
"Aahh..!"
"Hah…!"
"Nngh…!"
"You… You getting tired…?"
"I can… Keep this up… all day…!"
'Why're they grunting suggestively when the robots are doing all the work?' Virgil thought to himself as Deathtrap and (whatever Athena was going to call the post-retrofit) Ace arm-wrestled atop a work bench. "I'm just gonna come out and ask; why're you two all sweaty?"
"Virgil!" the two girls cried out, causing the arm-wrestling robots to briefly look up from their engagement. "When did you get back?" Athena asked as Deathtrap stole the win with a loud *BANG!*
"Just now…" he said giving the lab a once-over. Athena's Holo-Table she'd gotten from Stark was up and ready, holographic renders of the two robots in question cued up on opposite ends with numerous amendments and citations made; not that he was smart-enough to parse what those updates were and/or in what order. Deathtrap looked a little more refined, though still as asymmetrical as before, whereas Ace had all his white epidermal covering removed and was all in chrome while wearing what he suspected were some of Brick's pants. " . . . Is that a mustache?"
"Tina kept doodling mustaches onto the blueprints, and I sorta bolted it on without thinking…" Athena admitted bashfully. "Oh! And the next time you see Sunny, give her a hug for me, will you? That BlueBox she sent over while you were away was a huge help~"
"I still say I could've made you one myself…" Gaige pouted cutely.
"Gaige, your robot made a girl explode. At a science fair. In front of God and everyone. And the internet."
" . . . That doesn't mean I still couldn't do it…" she continued pouting cutely.
"So I take it you two have been trying to one-up one another vicariously through your robots?" Virgil asked putting the pieces together.
"Something like that," Athena replied. "But enough about our robots, how are you doing? Was your work-training trip fruitful?"
"You could say that…" Virgil replied before opening his arms hopefully, Athena leaping in and hugging him fiercely a moment later.
"Welcome back," she sighed in relief, resting her chin on his shoulder.
"Glad to be back," Virgil sighed in turn as Athena's body pressed against his. " . . . Gaige, we're trying to have a moment here…" he said realizing the red-head had snuck her way into his 'welcome back' hug as well.
"Don't worry about it, it's cool. Heh heh heh~"
"Gaiiiige… I don't like the sound of that chuckle you're making… Or that face."
"Shhhhhh~ Just let this happen, baby~" she said rubbing circles on his body.
"Athena, I didn't put her up to this, I swear."
"Um…" the blond paused, eyes darting.
"Hey 'thena, you going to tell him, or should I?"
"Tell me what?" Virgil asked worriedly, Athena breaking the hug and dragging her fellow genius with her.
"Well… You see…" Athena dithered, trying to find the words. "While you were away, Gaige and I have been talking and…"
"And…?"
"And I realized how completely and utterly starved she was for normal human interaction," she continued, gesturing to Gaige like she were a mental patient. "I mean, I know that my high school life went to shit after… certain things happened, but what she went through… No-one should have to suffer through that alone."
"What about her parents?"
"What teenager has ever thought their parents 'went through the same thing'?"
"Fair point. And what does this have to do with me?"
"Well, while you were out of town, I've also been chatting with your little friends from Vegas."
"The Little Sister and the Girl Next Door~" Gaige grinned waggling her eyebrows.
"-and they had some rather interesting things to say about their time with you."
"Such as…?" he asked feeling a nervous chill run up his back.
"That you're considerate. And nurturing. And that Zatanna had a huuuge crush on you before you quashed it~" Athena listed off with a slight smile.
"I couldn't help it. They were positively adorable and-I think I have a weak spot for cute girls…"
"And I have a weak spot for guys who have a weak spot for cute girls~" Gaige giggled.
"Like I was saying before we got off-track…" Athena coughed into her fist. "Since I'm already sharing you with my 'evil twin', I may as well-"
"Wait, hold up!" Gaige interrupted. "You've got an evil twin! That's so metal!" she grinned. "Where is she? Is she here? Or is there some kind of basement-"
"There's no basement, so don't bother looking," Athena huffed, the ginger girl dropping the corner of the rug before she saw the port hole underneath. "As I was saying, since I'm already sharing you… in a sense…" she said looking at herself in a nearby reflective surface, eyeing something only she could see, "I might as well let you pamper Gaige here a little. For as long as she's here at least…"
"Whoohoo! I knew I'd wear you down!" Gaige whooped while Virgil's jaw dropped.
"But! You can't 'pamper' her more than you've 'pampered' me. You got that?" Athena asserted.
"Question: How much 'pampering' has been going on?" Gaige asked taking out a notepad.
"Are you seriously taking notes?" Virgil asked incredulously, feeling like any sense of normalcy he expected upon his return had gone right out the window.
"Making out and over-the-clothes petting," Athena answered in turn, Virgil sputtering at how she could do such with a straight face.
"Second base. Got it," she said scribbling something down.
" . . . "
"Um, Virgil, you okay?" Athena asked worriedly as her boyfriend stared at her.
"Am I being Punk'd? Because if I am, I'm going to kick Ashton Kutcher's ass," he said looking around. "Not because of the polyamory thing, but because he convinced you to debase yourself into a gender-based cartoon whose entire self-worth is determined solely by her reproductive organs."
"Have you been reading feminist literary theory?" Athena blinked.
"Virg, trust me, when she caved, I was shocked too," Gaige said throwing an arm over his shoulder. "And just between you and me, I'm pretty sure Moxxi was working on 'thena from the other end too."
"That's what she said," he let slip loose and almost-immediately regretted it.
"Gaige, I can still rescind the Poly-"Pampering" Accords whenever I feel like it," Athena deadpanned.
"Too late! No takebacks!" Gaige said grabbing Virgil's free hand and pressing it to her breast. "Ho~hohhh yeahhh~ That's the stuff~" she sighed as she worked his palm to knead her C-Cup breast, a surge of estrogen washing over her.
"Hey hold on a second!"
Athena trying to cut in, the two genius girls starting to get into an argument that Virgil lacked any context to understand, his attention turned to his off-hand where the can of Whup-Ass sat in his palm; tauntingly.
" . . . What the hell," he said dexterously popping the top with one index finger. "To bad decisions; mine, theirs, and everyone else's."
*Glug*Glug*Glug*
"Blugh! That stuff's foul!" he retched. "And people drink this swill for fun?!"
"Wait, is that a literal can of Whup-Ass? I though those were just a myth!"
"Gaige we are not done talking yet! And let go of his wrist!"
"He doesn't seem to be complaining~"
"He is trying to down a can of beer because we threw him straight into the deep end the moment he got back."
"Noooo. Throwing him 'straight into the deep end' would've been you throwing him onto that couch and-"
'Eject. Eject! EJECT!' Virgil screamed to himself.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
"So sug', how'd things go with the girllls~?" Moxxi grinned as the blushing brunette walked over to the bar.
Virgil in response set down the empty can of Whup-Ass on the counter and looked her right in the eye.
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . I don't have the words."
"Boys on the business end of the 'Accords' rarely do~" Moxxi grinned knowingly.
"So wait, are you like one of those anime protagonists now…?" Mordecai asked.
"God, I hope not. I actually wanna get laid sometime this century," Virgil answered. " . . . And I mean that in only the most-respectful way possible," he said remembering whose mother was right in front of him.
"Don't worry about it. And honestly, I think it's rather sweet she found a nice boy like you who wouldn't… take advantage of the situation~"
"Hey, is that a dog?" Brick blinked, Virgil looking down to see Morris sitting obediently by his ankles, tongue lolling.
"Sug, he'd better be housebroken," Moxxi said as she peered over the counter, bosom pressing into the wood and distorting her heart-shaped tattoo. " . . . Where'd he go?" she blinked.
"Wow, I must be really drunk…" Mordecai said rubbing at his eyes.
*FLUSHHHHHHHH*
The bar patrons turning toward the bathroom door, beheld the Welsh Corgi shouldering his way out and walking across the bar to Virgil's side, a length of toilet paper three squares long trailing behind him on his right hind-leg.
" . . . I guess that answers whether he's housetrained or not…" Moxxi hummed.
"Yes… Yes it does…" Virgil nodded as he picked up his Chinese dumpling and cradled him like a baby.
"Did anyone else not notice he basically teleported?" Brick asked.
"He didn't teleport. We're just drunk," Mordecai hummed.
"Yeah, let's go with that," Virgil said making his way upstairs.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
Moxxxi's Red Light
December 23, 10:22 EST
After getting Morris and his "Bag of Holding" squared away back in his room, finding a note in a side pocket assuring him that only he would be able to open the bag, let alone "notice it" (on top of the limit being that the only things that could be stored in it were the same books Sebastian himself had put in and that if he wanted his own Bag of Holding he'd have to study enough to make one himself), Virgil returned to Athena's workshop for lack of anything better to do.
"Virgil, if you're uncomfortable with this, you can say 'no'," Athena said putting a hand on his arm, Gaige merrily humming a tune on his opposite side and threading her fingers with his now that her crush could "pamper" her.
"I mean… I'm a little weirded out, but I just want you to be happy. And if me making Gaige 'happy' also makes you happy in a weird double-vicarious way, then… I was going somewhere with this, but honestly, in what universe is this a normal-enough occurrence I would have the words for this?"
"According to the math, the multiverse is a big-enough place that this sort of thing is normal somewhere. Like in World's End Harem," Gaige said manipulating her half of the Holo Table from-range with a stylus.
"Do I even want to know what that's about?"
"Man Killer virus, breeding program, dystopian harem setting, thirsty bitches," the red-head summarized with a shrug.
"Oh, so it's exactly what it sounds like…" the brunette deadpanned.
"Yeah pretty much~"
"Thankfully, real life is nothing like a manga and-I just realized how-stupid that sounds," Athena quickly retracted, remembering that aliens, magical girls, demons, and so-on were at the very least rare but not completely unheard of.
" . . . Athena, I know you well-enough to know that Gaige's high school isolation isn't the only reason you gave the Poly-"Pampering" Accords the green light. So I have to ask… What's the real reason you decided to have… 'this', be a thing?"
" . . . Have you looked outside, lately? The world is getting worse and worse. Meta-crimes on the rise, bio-terrorism at an all-time high. New York Zero looks like the bastard lovechild of Doom and Lovecraft. Fact of the matter is, any one of us could die at any time, and while I don't want to have any regrets… a part of me doesn't want to cause others regret as well."
" . . . I assume you want to keep… this… behind closed doors?" he said gesturing to his and Gaige's interlaced fingers.
That holding her hand gave the girl genius that much joy… It made Virgil cry a little on the inside…
"More for your own rep than mine or hers," Athena replied. "Fact is, my mom's reputation is a 'Scarlet Letter' that's going to follow me for the rest of my life, and I've made peace with that. To an extent…" she amended. "I've learned not to let what 'other people' say get to me, even if I do spend most of my time indoors away from the public at large."
"Athena…"
"I'm not asking you to go out and make a 'harem'," she said making air quotes. "I'm just saying, if you want to languish other girls with a little positive attention in platonic or non-platonic ways… as long as you mind your boundaries-"
"It also helped that your seventeenth birthday happened while you were out."
"GAIGE!"
"What? It's true."
"Virgil, you turning seventeen had nothing to do with this decision…!" Athena said blushing to her ears. " . . . Though is it just me, or did you get slightly hotter while you were away?" she inquired curiously, leaning in for a closer look.
"I noticed that too, but I didn't want to say it flat-out," Gaige added as she too appraised him.
"I'm sure it's just your imagination-"
*SNIFFFFFFFFF*
"Gaige… Did you just smell my hair?"
"No, I smelled you. There's a big difference~" the Mechromancer shamelessly flirted as she drew her nose away from his neck. "No, but seriously, if we have semi-recent photos of you, I'm sure we can use math to determine that you have-in-fact, become slightly 'hotter' since you were away."
"How about we shelve this conversation, get a little air, shall we?" Athena offered looking up from her phone.
"I'm up for anything, honestly," Virgil shrugged. "But not a slice of free cake from a sit-down restaurant. I prefer my birthdays to be a private affair. I don't need a bunch of strangers sticking their noses into it…"
"Noted," Athena nodded as Virgil rose from his seat and offered her a hand. The pretty blond taking hold a moment later, she watched as the brunette visually deliberated before he extended his hand to Gaige, the other girl genius happily taking hold and allowing him to help her up. Gaige standing up and leaning into him in the same move, the red-head let out a contented sigh as she embraced him, the brunette bashfully reciprocating as a look of utter contentment crossed her face.
"Geez, you were really starved for human contact, weren't you?"
"That isn't the only reason I'm doing this," Gaige pouted. "You also faked a hardcore crapalanche for me. In public. If that isn't love, I don't know what is."
"You have a very warped definition of what construes loving affection…" the brunette deadpanned as Gaige dragged one of his less-flattering moments back to the fore.
He hoped he wouldn't have to give repeat performances.
"You know…" Athena hummed as she linked arms with his. "If you hadn't hesitated to accept my offer when you were faced with… whatever this is…" she said motioning to Gaige who linked with his free arm, "I'd have immediately rescinded the offer."
"I'm still not 100% comfortable with this."
"And I'm not expecting you to, but if you can make Gaige's stay here a little more bearable until she can actually go home again… Us genius girls gotta stick together, you know?"
"Well, I'm not a 'genius', so I really don't… but I'll be the first to admit, I might have a problem when it comes to needing/wanting to pamper girls."
"It just means you have a very 'nurturing' personality," Gaige hummed, sidling up next to him. "Hey, so does this mean you're 'whipped', or some kind of reverse-whipped?"
"There's math for that sort of thing, I'm sure…" Athena hummed with a mirthful smile as the three headed out.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
"Where're we going?" Virgil asked as they walked down the street.
"Dave & Busters in the good side of town," Athena answered, an arm linked with his while Gaige walked alongside but crossing her hands behind her since they were in public. "Who knows, maybe we'll get some prizes?"
"Honestly, I'm just happy to go out with friends and do 'normal teen things', like a normal teenager," Gaige hummed.
"Is she being serious right now…?" he asked inclining his head at Gaige's quote/unquote "disguise"; other than the warmer clothing, she was wearing a knit cap with alternating gray and yellow stripes, pink rectangular-framed glasses, and headphones.
"To be fair, knit caps aren't all that uncommon in winter… Though admittedly she does look a bit like a hipster…" Athena hummed thoughtfully.
"Yes, well… hopefully I can get back a little bit of normalcy before New Year's…"
"Don't count on it, cutie pie~" Gaige grinned merrily.
"Cutie pie…?"
"I'm workshopping pet names."
"Dibs on 'babe' until I come up with something better."
"What about 'sug'?" Gaige asked Athena's way.
"Ugh, ew, no. I don't want him thinking of my mom when we're together."
This was exactly the sort of talk that made Virgil contemplate legally declaring mental insanity.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
Upon arriving at the Dave & Busters, the three of them, after exchanging money for tokens, homed in on a rail shooter by the name of Time Crisis 4; one in a long series of first-person on-rails light gun shooter arcade games.
This title started with a pre-mission briefing about a super-weapon falling into the hands of terrorists operating within the United States, the game starting in California. Almost immediately after stepping off the plane, they were attacked by a small army of guys in white-and-gray combat gear with golden visors and automatic weapons.
In true Time Crisis fashion, things only continued to escalate from there with the deployment of the bio-weapons known as "Terror Bites", the successive waves of enemies and over-the-top bullet-spitting making the whole thing look more and more like a mindless "Rambosian" action flick.
"Man, look at all those headshots!" Gaige gawped as she tagged out, face flushing slightly as she eyed Virgil's rapidly-flicking index finger, the brunette laser-focussed on the task before him.
"I'd hate to be the guy he's pissed off at while holding a weapon," Athena hummed as she got in the groove.
"Though I would like to be on the business end of his trigger finger, if you catch my meaning~"
"Your meaning couldn't be any more obvious if it were in neon signage…" Athena deadpanned as she shot at the enemies Virgil wasn't, though a part of her felt a little cheated whenever his reticle shifted onto the guys and bio-weapons she was shooting at.
" . . . I'm not apologizing."
"Ugh, geez…"
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
Around half an hour later…
"Hold up… If they had that many soldiers left over, why was the tower so 'short'?" Gaige criticized as the "everyone cheering" cutscene played, the launch room inexplicably filled with soldiers. So-many in fact that there shouldn't have been any shortage of gunfire hailing on the Terror Bites. Or bodies piled on top of one another so the main characters could get to the 'big red button'.
"I'm sure the lot of them only arrived after-the-fact," Athena hummed, wiping some sweat from her brow.
"Wow, that's… a lot of tickets…" Virgil said as his side of the machine spat out a great many redeemable tickets, all in an unbroken chain, those who had spectated over his shoulder cheering as he entered his initials.
"So… You saved the world from the Terror Bites and the Hamlin Battalion…" Athena hummed as the ending credits rolled. "What do you want to play next?"
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
For the next few hours, the three teens played more arcade games together; particularly rail-shooters and always in pairs, with Athena and Gaige alternating the Player 2 slot while Virgil moved like a machine. His laser focus was so intense, it was almost like he had an aimbot installed. Whether it was House of the Dead 4-
"Ugh! Who the hell gave those things claws!?"
"Claws?! Where the hell'd they find so many axes?!"
"I think the man in the chair's PhD is fake…"
-, Aliens: Extermination-
"Mission: Exterminate Hostiles?"
"Yeah, no fucking shit!"
"I'm surprised the Facehuggers don't have more censoring…"
-, Terminator Salvation-
"Why aren't these guys using cover?!"
"Everything's blown to shit! Of course there isn't any cover!"
"This must be real early in the war if they can mount this sort of offensive…"
-, Jurassic Park III-
"Wow, these graphics… have not aged well."
"Well, what do you expect? This is the only arcade title since 2001."
"Why do people think it's a good idea to keep going there?"
-or Big Buck Hunter Pro: Open Season-
"This… Um… well…"
"Kinda boring compared to the rest…?"
"To be fair, all it'd take is one gunshot to send woodland creatures running for the hills; not crisscrossing in front of you like a carnival shooting gallery."
-, after his arc reflexes became acclimated to the demands of the rail-shooter arcade platforms, the brunette left his mark on the arcade with a VAV across the tops of the cabinets' leaderboards. In the beginning it was by a very small margin, but as his hand became practiced in virtual 80s-action-hero-style shooting, the gap between #1 and #2 only continued to grow wider. The brunette among their party was undeniably "in the zone"; almost to the point he tuned everything else out completely.
'There must be something really, really wrong with me if I'm treating most of these rail-shooters like training sims…' Virgil thought to himself as he put the gun-shaped controller of his latest conquest back in its bracket, rubbing at his eyes and unaware of the ink-like patterns vanishing from his skin.
Whether it was zombies, aliens, robots, dinosaurs, or just feral wildlife, all of these obstacles were things he might have to face someday, with the way his luck was holding out and how-much he suspected Hecate would fuck with him for her own Pagan sense of amusement. Especially with the steady escalation of "comic book nonsense" leeching its way into real life with each passing year as SPBs, Metas, Mutants, and their respective diametrically-opposed factions became more and more common.
And sure, the "infinite ammo" may've been a little unrealistic… But then again, what did that word even mean in a world of superheroes, aliens, magic, and so-on…? Hell, the other day he experienced real-life Fast Travel crossing state lines; even if it gave him 'Teleportation Sickness' for an hour or so afterward…
Had it been before he'd read the summarized histories of the previous Snakes and those who worked with them, he might've been far more relaxed if not somewhat "intense" at the games he was playing. But to put almost the entirety of his focus into the rail-shooters, to the point he didn't know who was Player 2 half the time…
'I think I might have issues…' he thought to himself following his internal musings.
"Hey uh… Virgil?"
"Yes, Gaige?"
"You think we've got enough tickets…?" Gaige asked as she stared at the plastic bag in Athena's hands, stuffed to the brim with tickets from all the machines they pillaged.
"Probably. Though I'm not sure how far they'll stretch," Virgil shrugged.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
As it turned out, the bag-load of D&B tickets they had accrued, stretched quite far, actually.
While Athena and her family had gone to that Dave & Busters location a few times in the past, Virgil being a first-timer to that location and earning that many tickets was quite a shock. Amazingly, all their loot was juuuuust enough to get a Nintendo DSi (colored white) and a Playstation Portable (in black). Virgil wasn't one for video games of the handheld variety, so maybe he'd re-gift them? It was certainly the season for it…
With the sun setting in the distance, the party of three made their way home at Athena's insistence. The three of them taking the back seats, Virgil found himself situated between the two girls who had a thing for him, and whom he had a thing for as weird as it was starting to sound.
'It's just until she goes back home. It' just until she goes back home. It's just until she goes back home,' he chanted to himself like a mantra as Gaige snuggled into his side, preventing his adolescent mind from going off the reservation.
It wasn't that Gaige was un-attractive, and Athena's reasoning was sound, if not nonsensical… But he still felt like something of a creep for agreeing to this; even if it made Athena, and by extension Gaige, happy.
"Virgil."
"Yes?" he replied in a hushed tone.
"There's another reason I agreed to the 'Accords'. One that Gaige doesn't know about."
"Like what?"
"What happened to her… I imagine it's something that could've happened to me if I'd gone to Star Academy… And if there was a boy that I liked after he saved me from that but he was already attached to some other girl…"
"That seems like a very weird reason to agree to a Menage a Trois."
"Any 'reason' to agree to a Menage a Trois is going to be weird by default."
"Fair."
" . . . "
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Virgil asked again, gesturing to Gaige who threaded her fingers with his own.
"Real life is messy… The least we can do is impart some kind of order…" Athena replied with a somber smile, before she too laid her head on Virgil's shoulder. "Even if it spits in the face of societal norms."
The brunette looking up to an old married couple, instead of the scornful judgmental looks he was expecting, the two merely smiled nostalgically, mouthing the words- "Good luck." -to him before turning their eyes back forward.
He wasn't sure which alternative was worse…
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
"SURPRIIIIISE!" the members of the Moxxi household, boarding house, and a few of the drunken regulars cheered upon the threes' return to the living room, the lights coming on to revealed sun-faded streamers that'd been lovingly maintained and re-used over many birthdays.
"Is this really for me…?" Virgil blinked incredulously.
"Well, who else would it be for?" Moxxi asked with a quirked brow as the regulars shambled back into the bar. "We couldn't celebrate it on the 6th, you weren't here; but we figured you deserved a little something, even though Christmas is right around the corner."
"How'd you even find out? I never told anyone…"
"Your boss told me. Back when she first recruited you to become a 'model'," Moxxi winked conspiratorially.
"I'd assumed that conversation was relatively private…"
"I can read lips. Along with other things~"
"Stop. I don't want to know what else you can 'read'…" he said holding up his hands, attention turning to the decorations before a small smile tugged at his face. "Thank… Thank you, I… I'd really missed this feeling…"
"Megan and Artemis will send their well-wishes on Christmas, but Zatanna and her dad should be by in a little while. But before then~" she said pulling a small wrapped parcel from her bosom, which once again, shouldn't have been able to fit in there. "Presents and cake! The really good stuff will be waiting for you on the 25th~"
"Don't worry. The box was sterilized. I made sure," Athena whispered into his ear, the brunette taking the box in his hand as the others began to bring small gifts forward.
Peering down at Moxxi's gift, with careful fingers he opened the wrapper, hoping it wouldn't be some weird pervy sex paraphernalia. The last of the paper coming away, revealed a thick X-shaped piece of marble-like rock with well-defined edges and corners, just large-enough to fit comfortably in his palm. Its surface was dominated with thick wavy streams of dark gray, intermingled with thinner waving streams of purple that seemed to almost glow. Blinking his eyes at it and failing to see any recognizable tool markings, the moment it touched his skin he felt a surge of magic wash over him, purple-colored trails of petal-shaped energy swirling around it in orbits.
'D-Definitely some sort of magic charm…' he gulped, recognizing the like from The Black Room, although this one didn't make him feel any sort of unease. "Th-thank you…"
"No problem, sug'~ You'll get more use out of it than me, I think~"
'Does she know?' Virgil mused, placing Moxxi's… endowment, in his coat's breast pocket, still feeling a trickle of magic coming off of it even though it wasn't touching skin anymore.
The next item to come up came from Tina; a misshapen, crudely wrapped item in newspaper and scotch tape held up in expectant hands, the feral teenager saying-
"Do it. Do it. Doitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoit."
"It's not going go blow up in my face, is it?"
" . . . No."
"I didn't like that pause."
"It won't really. I checked," Athena cut in, Virgil nodding his head before peeling back the paper to reveal… a taxidermy squirrel sitting on a half-log segment, a live grenade in its forepaws and a tiny green army helmet on its head.
"So… they just happened to have this in a store, or something?"
"Naw, homes! I mades it~"
"A while back she had to lay low because a customer went on a rampage with bombs she made… so she got into taxidermy for some reason…"
"Well, this is certainly… distinctive…" he hummed as he looked down at the army squirrel and the (hopefully) disarmed grenade it was holding like a plus-sized nut.
"Here, kid. This one's from us," Lilith grinned, Roland's arm around her shoulders. Inside the wrapping was a box, and inside the box was a collapsiblekarambit with an ergonomic handle and a wicked-looking hooked blade, all in black.
"Is… Is this ceramic…?" he asked incredulously, feeling the heft; or rather, the lack thereof.
"Yup. Snuck through airports on six continents~" the soldier grinned.
"Frightening… but I'll take it," he said giving it a few experimental swings before pocketing it.
"And this one's from us~" Mordecai grinned as Brick held out a heavy box-shaped object that looked like it'd been gift-wrapped by someone less-than-sober. The wrapping falling away, Virgil discovered a six-pack of Whup-Ass waiting for him.
"Wow. You shouldn't have… Want some?"
"Well, if you insist~" the two grinned, taking a can apiece.
"Here," Shaula said disinterestedly as she held out an unwrapped shoebox. "Don't scuff 'em up before New Years."
Opening the box, Virgil found the sleekest pair of red sneakers he'd ever seen. Completely red and unadorned with decorations apart from a single black stripe running diagonally over the top with black soles. An experimental flex showed incredible flexibility of the material, and it looked like they breathed very well.
"And now, it's time for cake!" Rina grinned. "You're good with chocolate, right?"
"Pssst! Virgil!" Gaige whispered into his ear as she tugged on his sleeve, stopping him place long-enough to slip something into his back pocket. "Just a little secret between us~" she winked before sauntering away with a sway of her hips.
Part of him was worried what he might find therein, and didn't want to investigate. The other part of him, the sane part of himself that was slowly being chipped away until all that remained was the same sort of "eccentric weirdo" as everyone else who lived under Moxxi's roof, was all-too-curious as to what he would find. Opening the unsealed envelope, revealed the back of a 4"x6" photograph.
For those lonely nights when you're in the mood for a little cheesecake~ -it said on the back in cursive script that had to be computer-generated.
'Cheesecake?' Virgil pondered before turning the picture around. 'Oh. That's what she meant by 'cheesecake'…' he thought to himself, staring at Gaige's exposed skin for longer than necessary before pocketing the 'cheesecake' picture.
*SWEET SIXTEEN*
"So… What did you wish for?" Moxxi asked as seventeen wisps of smoke rose up into the air.
"The bounty on Alex Mercer's head."
-is what he didn't say out loud.
"If I tell you my wish, it won't come true."
-is what he did say out loud.
"By the way, I'm surprised you didn't put up the tree while I was gone."
"Oh, we aren't having Christmas here. We're having it at your little friend's house."
"Whose?"
It was a small circle, but it merited asking.
"Why, little Megan's place, of course~ She and her uncle invited us all over to Happy Harbor; guess we made a good impression over Thanksgiving. And maybe Mr. Jones has a thing for… single mothers~"
"Ugh, gross!" Rina and Tina retched, one playfully, the other in legit revulsion.
*Br-r-r*Br-r-r* *Br-r-r*Br-r-r*
*Breen* "Hello?"
"Virgil, happy birthday!"
"It's nice to hear from you too, Z."
"Have you guys cut the cake, yet?"
"We just started."
"Well, save me a corner slice. Dad and I are on our way, but we got held back by a flock of rogue geese."
" . . . I'm sorry, 'geese'?"
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
When Virgil handed off his 1949 Mercury Coupe to Giovanni Zatara for magical enchantment after Thanksgiving, he expected a great many things from the exchange; especially after reading up on Runes, and Charms, and Enchantments and the like at A.R.G.U.S.
What he was not expecting, was for the first part of his car he saw to be its undercarriage.
Thusly, he let out the only sound he sensibly could in the given situation.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
"Huh… Looks like Gregor 'Goat-Fuck' MacGregor is starting early this evening…" Moxxi hummed from the dining room as an animal-like cry permeated the Red Light's walls.
"Gregor MacGretor?" Shaula asked. "Hell of a fake name."
"Oh no, that's actually his name."
"What, like the 'Caledonia' guy?" Rina inquired.
"I mean… There are guys named 'John Smith', soooo…" Athena hummed.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
"First: WHAT?! Second: THE FUCK!?"
"It's nice to see you too, young man…" Giovani huffed after he stepped out of the vehicle.
"Did I not tell you 'no flying cars'?!" he raged, happy the alley offered some modicum of privacy.
"I thought you were being rhetorical."
"Don't be hard on him. Once he started with the runes and the enchanting, he just couldn't stop himself," Zatanna hummed.
"It is a beautiful car…" Giovanni admitted as he looked longingly at it. "I'd get one for myself, but I do want to put Zatanna through a nice college wherever she wishes."
" . . . There any money left over from all the enchanting?"
"Yes, actually."
"And did you put it into Z's college fund?"
"Honestly, I thought that was lip service."
"It wasn't."
"Oh! Well… Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"You keep pampering me like this and I might fall for you anyway~" Zatanna beamed as she wrapped her arms around him.
"Hey, by the way, did you do something with your mustache?" Virgil inquired as he hugged her back. 'Too pure. Must protect.'
"Your car's damn flamethrower system went off…!" the man growled. "Honestly, I thought you were joking!"
"Hey, I take automotive security very seriously."
"Yes, well… After all the work I've done, this is now the most magically-secure vehicle on the planet. Only the President's 'Beast' and the Vatican's 'Popemobile' could hope to compare."
"Okay, I can understand the President shelling out for magical protection, but don't Catholics hate witches and magic?"
"I never said they weren't hypocrites, too."
"Yeah that's fair," Virgil nodded. "So… What all'd you enchant it with?" he asked looking his car over. There weren't any runes chiseled into the outside or anything, so maybe they were on the interior panels, or written in magic ink?
"Some of my best charmcasting in years," Giovanni sighed wistfully as Zatanna took out a sheet of paper and handed it over. The style of writing was, thankfully, meant for someone largely uninformed about magical vernacular, though also looked like something you'd draft up for a TTRPG.
[Immutable Ward]
Prevents an object from being altered by magic.
"What, like being turned into a rabbit or something?"
"Surprisingly, that does happen," Zatanna nodded.
"And more-often than you'd think," Giovanni added.
[Nondetection Ward]
An anti-Scrying enchantment that prevents the object or its contents from being observed or tracked through magical means. Also prevents spells from locking onto it.
"I trust you not to take my little girl to any 'Makeout Points'."
"DAAAAAAD!"
[Summoning Ward]
A ward that prevents Conjuration inside or around the vehicle.
"Many magi have been killed inside their cars because a large rock or something was dropped right on top of them," Giovanni explained.
[Psychic Reflection]
A ward that blocks psychic phenomenon ranging from psychokinesis to telepathy to extrasensory perception.
"M'gann might not like that too much…"
[Spirit Wards]
Protects against various forms of spirits and spiritual powers, such as warding away evil spirits and ghosts.
"Batman asked for similar wards to be installed after one too many encounters with Deadman."
"What, is he some kind of ghost who moonlights as a superhero?"
"Yes, actually…"
"Okay I was being sarcastic, but that name really is on-the-nose…"
[Magic Resistance Ward]
Augments the vehicle's innate magical resistance.
[Physical Damage Resistance Ward]
"With the military-grade plating and glass used as the basis of this Ward, well… Nothing short of an armor-piercing tank round could hope to pierce it. Though don't treat this as an excuse not to wear your seatbelts," Giovanni chastized.
[Trunk of Holding]
It's bigger on the inside.
"What, you couldn't make the cabin bigger on the inside?"
"Six people in one car is plenty. More than that and you might as well be driving a school bus," Giovanni hummed.
"Still great for road trips," Zatanna smiled, dropping a hint.
[Cleaning Charm]
"You wouldn't believe how much time one of those frees up."
"And yet, dad won't let me put one of those over my room."
[Hidden Magic Sealing]
A seal that encrypts the magic of an object, making it harder to detect and even harder to read. Stops the car from being "de-enchanted". In layman's terms, it stops "Christmas lights" from being "untangled".
"I'm quite proud of this next one. I weave it onto almost all of my stage props."
[Desire-Fear Charm]
When a normal person sees an expensive car, they desire it, even to the point of theft. This Charm however, amplifies their sense of caution, forcing them to think about how much it would cost to maintain, secure, and ensure, as well as amplify the fear of being caught. Those that get too close become "paranoid", feeling like someone is watching them and are simply "baiting them" into attempting to carjack it with the express purpose of catching them. Touching the car itself when you are not a recognized "friend" will cause a crippling panic attack. Most criminals will think their instincts are warning them off.
"Dad already started on that next one before I could stop him."
"In my defense, I really did think you were being rhetorical…"
[Flight]
Allows the vehicle to move through the air as though it were on level ground. Responds to the driver's thoughts as well as vocal commands. Nullifies damage from falling. Takeoff and landing can be lateral or vertical. The higher you are, the faster the top speed. Vehicle is insulated from cold temperatures as well as bird strikes.
'Because of course the man made it fly…' Virgil sighed to himself.
"The Coupe itself is also a conduit for the magic of the driver, so if you want to add temporary Abjuration magics in anticipation of a really big hit, like a head-on vehicle collision…" Giovanni went on to say.
"I don't plan to take this baby into any warzones, but I greatly appreciate all the work you've done on it," Virgil replied, bowing his head.
"That's good to know," the man nodded. "You know, something seems… different about you… Did you do something with your hair?"
"Er, no, I'm just… a little more knowledgeable about magic."
"Well, I can't wait to go crimefighting with you again~" Zatanna beamed. "But enough about work, let's get some cake!"
"I set aside that corner piece you wanted," Virgil hummed as he folded the cheat sheet. Before he could put it into his pocket however, a line of text on the back caught his eye. Giving the line of text he might've missed a once-over, he then turned to the elder magic-user before inquiring- " . . . Really? You really installed this?" he asked tapping the paper accusingly.
"I'm a fan of the classics, and I couldn't help myself," Giovanni said guiltily.
" . . . Well, at least I got my money's worth," Virgil sighed, realizing that if it were him given carte blanche to magically modify something, he'd have gone overboard too.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
A few hours later…
"Hey there, birthday boy~"
"Athena," Virgil hummed as the pretty blond stood in his doorway, adjusting her glasses before taking them off altogether and putting them in the pocket of her labcoat.
"You all tuckered out from the party?"
"Something like that," the brunette hummed as she closed the door behind her. "Something you need?"
"Just thought I'd get a moment alone with you before you nodded off," she said sauntering up to him, smiling prettily his way. "What's the matter? Do I have something on my face~?"
"N-No… You're beautiful as always…"
"Happy to hear it~ Glad to know the green light for a little side action hasn't given you a big head~"
"Y-Yeah, well… I guess I'm still processing…"
"That's good. I wouldn't have made this arrangement with you otherwise~" she grinned before tugging on her collar and pulling an envelope from her then-exposed cleavage, the same playful smirk on her face as her mother's. "Anyway, here's a little something from me to you, birthday boy~"
'Feels heavier than a photo…' Virgil thought, weighing it in his hands.
"Anyway, give me a ring when you're ready. You know how to reach me~" Athena said as she pecked him on the cheek before walking off, one last sway of her hips before she fired a parting shot. "I'll just… leave you alone with your thoughts~"
*Creeeeak*Click*
" . . . Well that wasn't ominous in the slightest…" Virgil hummed, looking down at the envelope in his hand before tearing at the barely-applied adhesive.
*SWEET SEVENTEEN*
AN:
In the original draft (of the story in general), what was going to happen was on Valentine's Day (2010), after "this and that" occurred, Athena would've said something that'd have broken his heart, and then he would've gone off on a training trip because he felt like he wasn't "good enough". As soon as Athena realized he was about to leave the country, in done-to-death RomCom style, she'd doubly realize that in trying not to "be her mother" in the worst ways, she did-in-fact estrange Virgil from her in the same way that Moxxi became esttranged from Marcus (Canonically, her 3rd husband). There'd have been something in there about wanting Tina to call in a bomb threat on the plane, hinting that it's a frequent occurrence, so as to stop him from leaving, and Gaige calling Athena out on doing something so monumentally stupid. The "Harem Route" (it's been asked for; you know who you are) would've revitalized much later under much stranger circumstances, and he and Athena would've eventually reconciled, even if they couldn't get back what they had "before".
As you can see here, a fit of inspiration caused by the changing-up of events courtesy of "Coded Message", has caused me to reconsider. There is of course nuance, and it isn't something they can do openly, but there's a great deal about the world that can change; especially when you've got the whole "Halfworld" thing like in the original Justice League with all the Adults being banished to another dimension to consider.
Also, before anyone asks, no, this was not a paid endorsement by Dave & Busters. Paid endorsements on FanFiction dot Net would be a breach of policy.
Anywho, I'll see you in the Reviews section, and next time on Chronicle of Zhu!
. . .
OH! And before I forget.
P.S.
If you want more Young Justice: The Hunter, check out my AO3 profile for the off-shot of this story and its first chapter, "Chapter 68.5", which obviously takes place after this chapter here and the next chapter. The name of the off-shot... pretty self-explanatory. It's my first time making a dedicated effort to content of that exacting nature, so if you have any thoughts, let me know.