Elsa's eyes fluttered open, the first rays of morning light seeping through the window, casting a soft, golden glow that touched her skin like a whisper. It should have felt warm, but instead, it only felt distant. The room, bathed in that fragile light, glistened like a frozen crystal, a reflection of her own heart, cold and broken. Everything in her seemed to pulse with a heavy ache. The softness of Jack's hand resting gently on her stomach, his breath warm and steady against the nape of her neck, should have been enough to comfort her. But instead, it only deepened the sorrow she couldn't escape.
With each breath she took, slowly, quietly, she felt her heartbeat synchronize with his, two souls intertwined, yet she couldn't shake the weight of the past. The moment she allowed her gaze to drift to Jack's serene face, a storm rushed through her. The softness of his features, the peace etched into his expression, shattered in an instant as a flood of memories overwhelmed her.
His blood. His broken, bloodied face. The horrifying moment when his life slipped away in her arms.
She had failed him.
In every lifetime, in every existence, she was there, always the one to hold him, to love him, but always the one who let him slip through her fingers. She couldn't save him. She couldn't protect him. And it had cost her everything.
Her selfishness, her regret, her love, it all swirled in a tornado of anguish inside her chest. She had loved him...too much. And now that love felt like the very thing that was ripping her apart.
The memories of Jack's gentle, carefree spirit, the way he made her feel alive for the first time, seemed like a dream she could no longer touch. How had she allowed herself to fall so deeply, so swiftly, into something she knew could only bring pain? But in his eyes, in his presence, she'd seen a version of herself she thought was lost forever, a version of herself capable of feeling joy, of believing in love.
Jackson Frost Overland.
Jackson.
Her Jack.
Her love.
But he wasn't hers to keep. Not truly. Not forever.
Elsa closed her eyes, feeling her breath catch in her throat. She had found him, loved him, and then just as quickly, she would have to let him go. It felt like a cruel joke, like fate had woven them together only to rip them apart again.
She could feel her heart breaking into pieces, one shard at a time. But she had made a vow, in the depths of her grief, to make sure Jack had his happy ending. Even if it meant she had to sacrifice her own. Even if it meant living a lifetime without him.
Her hands trembled as she gently traced his face, brushing the hair away from his forehead, her fingertips grazing his soft skin. She whispered, almost as if speaking to herself, "You're so beautiful, Jack"
Tears welled in her eyes, and her voice quivered as she thought in her mind, 'This face, I want to etch it into my memory for eternity. So I can carry it with me. No matter how many lifetimes we're apart.'
Jack stirred, his lips curling into a tender smile, and he pulled her closer, his voice thick with warmth and affection. "I'm so grateful that you find me beautiful, Queenie."
Elsa felt the weight of his arms around her, holding her in a cocoon of warmth, but it was a warmth she would never be able to keep. The thought crushed her.
"How long have you been awake?" Her voice was small, barely a whisper, embarrassed that he might have noticed the storm of emotions breaking inside her.
Jack's smirk was gentle, teasing. "Since you turned over and started staring at my face like it was some kind of treasure." He tightened his arms around her, his voice softening. "God, your cuddles are the best, Snowflake. I could stay here forever."
Her heart wrenched at his words. Forever. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be. She knew that.
"Sooner or later, we all must move on, right?" Her words were barely a breath, an echo of a truth she could never accept. Why was she burdened with memories of their past lives? Why couldn't she just be here, in this moment, with him?
Jack chuckled, sending a shiver down her spine, and the sound of his laughter wrapped around her like a tender embrace. "Well, I've decided I'm not going anywhere. So how about breakfast? Loki can bring us something."
Elsa smiled faintly, even as the ache deepened. "Babe, why don't you freshen up while I ask Elena to make breakfast?" She glanced at the clock and sighed. "It's already 11 a.m Jack. We've slept in!"
"I don't want to," he whined, nuzzling her neck like a child, unwilling to let go of the peace of the moment. His arms tightened around her, and Elsa felt her heart shatter all over again.
She would lose him. She would have to let him go.
But not yet. Not today. Today, she would hold him close, savor every touch, every word, every fleeting moment.
"We need to get moving," she whispered, even though every fiber of her being wanted to stay in his arms forever. To never let him go.
"As you say, Queenie," he murmured, reluctantly releasing her, his hands lingering on her skin for a moment longer than necessary.
When he left to freshen up, Elsa lay there, her heart in pieces. Why did life have to be this way? Why did fate have to make them meet only to tear them apart again?
She'd found peace in his arms, but she knew it would be temporary. The pain would return, and this time, there would be no escape.
His touch. The way he caressed her with his cold hands, the ones that could make her feel alive again.
She would miss it.
His laugh. How it echoed in her heart and made everything feel lighter, even the darkest moments.
She would miss it.
His smile. The way it lit up his face, waiting for her to catch up, to share in the joy of whatever silly thing he had just said.
She would miss it.
Elsa closed her eyes tightly, her heart heavy with the weight of it all. She would miss it all.
But for Jack, she would endure this heartache. For him, she would let him go.
And as time slipped away, she found herself downstairs at the table, her thoughts still swirling, the ache still there, gnawing at her like a constant companion. Jack had stepped out for a moment, and Elsa absently toyed with her food, lost in the memories of their time together. Memories that she could never let go of, even if she wanted to.
She didn't want to. She just wanted him.
But love wasn't enough. Not when fate had already written their story.
"Do you not like the food, Mrs. Overland?"
Elsa's breath caught, and her thoughts snapped back to the present. She hadn't realized how far she had drifted. Her gaze fell to the untouched plate before her, the food cold and unappetizing, just like the emptiness swirling inside her chest. She forced a smile, though it felt as fragile as glass. "No," she said, her voice trembling. "The food is delightful. I'm just...lost in my thoughts."
Elena studied her, a quiet concern in her eyes that pierced through Elsa's defenses. There was a softness in her presence, an understanding that made Elsa feel both seen and invisible at the same time. Without a word, Elena glanced at the empty chair next to Elsa and, in a voice like the caress of a mother, asked, "May I sit with you?"
The offer, simple and sincere, made Elsa's heart ache. She had spent so long alone, carrying grief in silence, that the idea of someone sitting beside her without judgment, simply to be there, felt almost impossible. She nodded slowly, her smile strained but genuine. "You may."
Elena settled beside her, and there was a quiet stillness between them, the weight of unsaid things hanging in the air. After a moment, Elena spoke, her voice warm but tinged with concern. "You seem unsettled, honey. I'm still learning about this place and the people in it, but I've come to admire you. I look at you like a mother would, so, if you ever feel like talking, I'm here to listen, just like I would for my own daughter."
Elsa flinched slightly, the mention of family stirring something deep within her. Her throat tightened. "You have a daughter?" The words spilled out before she could stop them, and her face flushed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. You look so young. I didn't know"
Elena smiled gently, brushing off Elsa's apology with a wave of her hand. "None taken, dear. Thank you for the kind words. I'm 47, Mrs. Overland." She paused for a moment, studying Elsa with a tenderness that made Elsa feel like she was being seen in a way she hadn't been in years. Then, with a soft touch, Elena placed her hand on Elsa's cheek. "You remind me so much of my daughter. She was full of life; always laughing, always bright. A sweetheart, just like you."
Elsa's chest tightened at the words, and she struggled to find the right ones. "I...I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."
Elena's voice was soft but steady as she began to share her story, the weight of her pain in every word. "She was in love, you see. So in love with a young man, and they were so happy together." She paused, as though reliving the joy in her daughter's eyes. "But sometimes, life isn't fair. He passed away, and not long after, she followed him, just a week after. I lost her...just like that."
Elsa felt her heart shatter, as though the room itself was closing in on her. The grief in Elena's eyes mirrored something deep within Elsa, something she had never dared to acknowledge. The loss of love, of someone who meant everything, was a weight Elsa knew all too well.
Noticing the clenched hands and the tightness in Elena's shoulders, Elsa instinctively reached out, taking her hands in her own. The warmth of the touch seemed to anchor them both in that moment. "I can't imagine the pain you've carried, Elena. To lose someone so dear" Her voice cracked, the words almost too heavy to say. "I'm so sorry."
Elena's expression softened, but there was a sadness there too. "I see the pain in your eyes, Elsa. It's not just sympathy. You're grieving, too, aren't you?" Her voice was gentle, like a whisper in the dark. "Who are you grieving for?"
Elsa's throat tightened, and the tears she had been holding back for so long threatened to spill. "Someone I loved," she whispered. "I lost them...multiple times." Her chest ached as she spoke, the words tasting like fire in her mouth. "Love is the worst emotion, is it not?"
Elena's gaze softened, her eyes filled with something like sorrow and wisdom. "Oh, darling, love is the most beautiful feeling. It's when you can't imagine a single breath without your beloved. Yes, it hurts. God, it hurts more than anything else in the world. But love...love is what makes us feel alive, even through the pain. We're so lucky to experience it, even if it's fleeting. Even if it breaks us."
Elsa's heart thudded painfully in her chest as she gazed at Elena, her voice barely a whisper. "Yes."
"But if you had the choice...if you could go back, would you still choose to love them?" Elena asked and Elsa closed her eyes, letting the quiet grief wash over her like a wave.
"Yes." She opened her eyes, her gaze full of quiet longing. "Not in a million lifetimes would I ever choose differently."
Elena's face softened, her lips pressing into a thin line as she looked down at their intertwined hands. "Love is a gift, even when it hurts the most," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "I miss my daughter every day. But I'm grateful, too. Grateful for the years I had with her. For the love we shared." She inhaled sharply, blinking back tears. "And I'm even more grateful that she got to love someone in return. I know they're happy together now, somewhere."
Elsa could feel the weight of Elena's words settle in her chest, heavy but real. She swallowed hard, tears brimming in her eyes as she nodded. "Thank you for sharing that with me. You're incredibly strong, Elena."
Elena rose slowly, her gaze lingering on Elsa. "And you, Mrs. Overland, are even stronger than you realize." Her words were a balm to Elsa's soul, but they only deepened the ache inside her.
As Elena walked away, taking Elsa's plate with her, Elsa's gaze lingered on the empty chair, the space beside her now feeling so unbearably wide and cold. She sank into the couch, the warmth of Elena's words still echoing in her mind. The flickering light of the chandelier above her caught her attention, and she found herself lost in its glow, her fingers absently toying with the pillow in her lap.
The movie playing in the background faded into nothing, and the darkness of her thoughts swallowed her whole. The grief, the love, the loss, each one tangled together in a messy, beautiful knot that she couldn't untie. And somewhere, deep inside, she realized she would carry this pain for the rest of her life. But perhaps, just perhaps, the love that had caused her so much heartache was the same love that would help her heal, if only she could find the strength to hold onto it.
And for the first time, Elsa allowed herself to cry, not in defeat, but in remembrance. Because love, no matter how it shattered her, would always be worth it.
Sleep took her.