The Birthdays
(Because the birthdays of the alter egos (i.e. Pete Duel and Ben Murphy) are just a couple of weeks apart. This little tale is in honor of both the birthdays)
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It began just as it did every night, the first in a series of three. As per the routine, the noise began as a sort of whimpering designed to begin the journey from a deep, peaceful sleep while nestled in the warmth of a soft down comforter. But seconds later the whimpers gave way to high pitched yelps, then operatic soprano barks that could easily rival Beverly Sills' highest attainable note...
Two o'clock in the morning and Kate, now in maternal instinct mode, pulled back the comforter and climbed out of bed and into the cold winter air. Still half asleep, she slipped into her ski pants and parka, then unlatched the crate door and, with leash in hand, coaxed four month old Murphy the Beagle from his bed to brave the snow and frigid temperatures long enough for a short, exploratory, potty excursion.
As they descended the stairs, Kate was startled to hear a rapping on her front door. Surprised, but not particularly frightened (a benefit of small town living), Kate turned on the porch light and peeked through the frosted glass window before shaking her head and unlocking the door.
"Just once I wish the two of you would check the time zone before arriving unannounced," she grumbled as she stepped out on the porch and gave Murphy free reign of the leash to sniff the boots of the two cowboys before he ventured into the yard to tend to his more urgent calling of leaping into or over piles of snow and finding the perfect clump of snow to alter it's color.
"We came announced," Kid protested. "We did just like you told us. Didn't you hear the knock?"
Kate yawned and nodded as she gave the leash a slight tug to remind Murphy this was a business trip and not an adventure at the park. "So what is it this time?" she asked.
"Well, we over heard them too alter egos again and it got us to thinking," Kid explained.
Murphy (who had completed his business and had suddenly realized the two strangers were still at the door and, even more interesting about them was the fact they smelled very much like leather), came bounding up the steps to greet them once again.
Heyes reached down and picked up the puppy who was eager to sniff and lick Heyes' face until of course, he discovered that the stampede straps hanging from Heyes' hat would be a most delectable chew.
Let's go in the house before the neighbors see me parading around in over sized ski pants cavorting with two cowboys who obviously have no concept of time whatsoever," she said and led them into the kitchen and took advantage of Murphy's preoccupation with Heyes long enough to make them all some hot chocolate.
"What did you overhear them talking about this time?" Kate asked as she worked. "And maybe it would be a good idea to quit eavesdropping so much," she added.
"Birthdays." Heyes told her and rolled Murphy onto his back in his arms to scratch the puppy's belly.
"What about birthdays?" Kate asked.
"Well, apparently them two have birthdays just a couple of weeks apart and that got Kid an me thinking about our birthdays."
"Like when are they?" Kid asked.
With her back to them, Kate rolled her eyes at the thought of yet another explanation about the difference between reality and make believe and was determined to avoid that subject entirely. "You don't know when your birthdays are?"
"The fire that burned our homes to the ground and made us orphans pretty much destroyed any records our families might have had," Kid explained. "You remember the fire, Kate. You wrote about it more than once," Kid reminded her.
"Uh-uh," Kate said as she brought three cups of hot chocolate to the table and sat down before sliding a cup to each of the two outlaws. "I don't see why you can't just share the same birthdays as the actors, I mean, the same birthdays as your alter egos," she suggested.
Kid snorted. "What are the odds that we're going to have the same birthdays as them two?"
Kate looked at him curiously. "I don't know," she lied, still determined to avoid the reality check conversation again.
"I'd say about 365 to 2," Heyes replied, stroking the back of Murphy's neck as he fell back to sleep curled up in Heyes' lap.
"What's so important about having a birthday, anyway?' Kate asked.
"Well, them two was talking about having one big birthday party and inviting all their friends."
"Well you two could do that," Kate said with some exuberance. You could invite all your friends! Maybe make a list and then send out invitations!"
"Who would we invite?" Kid asked.
"Wheat and Kyle and all the Devil's hole Gang, Soapy and Silky. Maybe Big Mac, even Lom..." Kate suggested.
Kid and Heyes looked at each other in disbelief. All the people Kate mentioned were men."
"It ain't a bachelor party," Kid exclaimed.
"You know, it is kind of odd just how few female friends we have, Kid. Maybe some of them other writers... are right about us."
Kid rolled his eyes. "Maybe you, Heyes. I seen how Harry Wagoner was looking at you, probably dreaming of a nice, intimate swim."
Heyes bristled at the memory of being in the water with Harry, "Oh yeah?" Heyes said defensively. "What about you and Jim Stokley. I never seen you gush over a man like that before."
"Gush! Gush! Well maybe I was gushing because Jim Stokley wasn't trying to boss me around all the time! And Jim never stood around and just watched me get beaten to a bloody pulp, Heyes. You done that twice as I recall!"
"Boss you around? Why I oughtta..."
"Boys! Boys! Stop it right now! I'll not have one of the best partnerships in western history break apart in my kitchen!"
"Kate's right," Heyes said with a heavy sigh.
"And we do have female friends we could invite. There's Clem, and Georgette, and Michelle, and...and...and a whole lot of other ones," Kid added.
"You could have your party in a saloon so there would be lots of women present to help you celebrate." Kate added.
Kid nodded as the idea sounded reasonable. "Kate," he said as a perplexed look grew on his face. "Why would them alter egos want a cheap old broken cooking pan for a present?"
"A cheap old cooking pan?" Kate asked, wondering what on earth Kid could possibly have heard and misinterpreted.
Kid nodded. "A damn bag of pot."
Kate thought for a moment, then closed her eyes. "A dime bag of pot?" she asked hesitantly.
"Dime, damn, what's the difference?"
"When he was talking about pot, it wasn't something to cook in. Pot is like peyote," she explained.
Heyes smiled. "Which one was wanting that?" he asked, obviously amused.
"I ain't telling. They got reputations to maintain just as much as we have, Heyes."
"Let's get back to the subject of your birthdays," Kate suggested.
"Alright, but one more question, first. Kate, what's a Disco?" Kid asked.
"A Disco?"
"Yeah. Heyes' alter ego said he wanted to have a Disco party and it sounded like he wanted to have it right there where they was working."
"On the set?' Kate asked.
"I think so. He said he wanted to party at Studio 54."
Kate quickly decided it was better to play innocent than to try to explain Studio 54 to Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry. "Disco is a dance, like a square dance only faster and... more suggestive. She explained.
Kid shook his head. "Square dancing wears me out."
"Doing a jig wears you out," Heyes said under his breath as he gently massaged Murphy's ear.
"How about a party right here?" Kate suggested, again trying to redirect the conversation.
"The two of us and you? Kid asked. "What kind of party is that?"
"I could invite all the other writers," Kate suggested. "Most of them are women, Kid."
Kate could almost see the wheels turning in Kid's mind. "So, Heyes and me could talk to each one of them directly?"
"Of course."
"And give em all a piece of our minds?"
"Remember, it's a party, Kid. If you start doing than, I think the guests will start thinning out very early."
"Yeah Kid, and we'd end up with just the two of us and Kate again," Heyes said, then quickly tried to clarify himself. "No offense, Kate."
"Non taken. Tell me, if each of you could have the perfect birthday, what would it entail?" she asked.
Kid and Heyes looked at each other and after giving the question some deep thought, both were surprised by their very similar answers.
"A full day of peace and quiet," Heyes said with a far away look in his eyes. "And back to nature."
"And a warm bath, a hot meal, and a soft bed," Kid added.
"Is that all?' Kate asked. "Nothing more? Nothing...personal?"
"Flowers," they said in unison, then looked at each other with some surprise.
"Flowers?" Kate asked.
"Just a field of flowers, swaying gently in a warm, summer breeze."
"Done," Kate replied.
"Done?' they asked.
Kate nodded. "That will be my next story. Just the two of you, out in the wilds of nature, maybe a pasture full of wild flowers, a brass tub in the middle of the field filled with steaming hot water and lots of bubbles, steaks cooking on an open fire, and a huge pile of hay to settle into for a nice, long nap."
Heyes and Kid locked eyes as they pictured the scene, then both burst out laughing.
"We was only kidding, Kate. That's a sissy birthday!
Kate looked at the clock that read three-thirty in the morning. "Then how about this...an evening in a saloon, just the two of you and a room full of barely dressed ladies...playing strip poker?"
"Now you're talking! Kid exclaimed.
"Don't be so quick to agree, Kid It's Kate talking so there's gotta be a hook in there somewhere," Heyes cautioned.
"Hook? Heyes you're picking up the actor's lingo," Kate said.
Heyes shrugged, "When in Rome..."
Wanting desperately to bring the conversation to a close and get some sleep before Murphy decided it was time to be up for the day, Kate offered one final suggestion.
"Why don't the two of you pick a date to celebrate your birthdays together. You can spend the day here with me and create your own birthday story. I'll write anything and everything just as you describe it. You create your perfect day?"
"So if we decide we want a damn bag of pot at Studio 54, surrounded by a cackle of half nekked women playing strip poker while we each sit in a brass tub of hot water with flower petals floating on top...you'll write that?" Kid asked, then gasped for a breath of air.
"I promise," Kate said. "Anything to make sure the two of you have the best birthdays ever."
"So what's the hook?' Heyes asked skeptically.
"Well, when my birthday comes around, you two will reciprocate,' she replied.
"How?' they asked skeptically.
"You'll both spend the night here at my house..."
"Yeah?' they said with some eager anticipation.
"A quiet, peaceful, long and uninterrupted night..." Kate mused dreamily.
"Oh, I'm liking the sound of this party," Kid said with a wink aimed at his partner.
"And every two hours you'll each take turns..."
"Oh Kate, you're making me hurt already, in a good way of course," Kid said with a smile.
"Remember, every two hours, so you'll need a lot of stamina," Kate added.
"I'm up for the task, Kate," Kid promised.
"I am too," Heyes added as images of a sensual night danced in his head.
"Oh, I'm counting on that," Kate replied. "Because you can both have the pleasure of taking Murphy out for his nighttime business and exploration trips, every two hours, all night long, while I get a full night sleep."
Looks of great disappointment spread across both their faces.
"You really know how to kill a party, don't you, Kate?" Heyes grumbled.
"Come on, Heyes. Let's go have a talk with them two alter egos. Maybe they'll share that damn dime bag of pot with us at Studio 54."