Wombats and Fried Chicken
(Inspired by an actual, and rather strange dream. Feel free to offer interpretations appropriate for teenage readers, Oh, and no, I do not hate Wombats)
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"Oh my," Kate said as her eyes fluttered open and she moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "That was really odd."
"Who are you talking to?' Kid asked, gathering her robe from the back of a chair and tossing it across the room to her.
"What have I told you two about entering my bedroom unannounced?' she scolded.
"You sounded worried, Kate. We were concerned about you," Heyes replied. "Concern beats etiquette every time."
"I am not worried and when it comes to the two of you, etiquette always takes precedence," Kate said, defending her rules for their visits.
"Then what was the 'Oh my' all about?" Heyes asked.
Kate hesitated, embarrassed to tell them about the odd dream she had just awakened from. "It was nothing," she replied.
"You had one of them dreams about me again, didn't you?' Kid asked with a wide, knowing smile. "The kind that leaves you all hot and sweaty?"
"I do not have those kinds of dreams about you!" Kate exclaimed emphatically.
"All the women have them dreams about me, Kate. What was yours about?"
"I'm telling you Kid, it was not about you. It was about... about your alter-ego."
Kid bristled. "What's he got that I don't have, cause there's plenty that I got that he don't. You know Kate, he ain't really a fast draw, he can't hold his liquor as well as me, and he's lousy at poker. I know cause I've seen him and that other fella try to play."
"Kid, it might surprise you, but not everything Kate thinks and does is about you. Let her tell us about her dream," Heyes told his partner.
Kate shook her head and stood to slip into her robe and slippers. "You two will just laugh at the thoughts that go through my head," she said and headed out of the room to the kitchen to make some coffee.
Heyes and Kid followed right on her heels. "We won't laugh. We promise. Right Kid?"
"I think you're expecting a lot outta me, Heyes," Kid grumbled as he and Heyes took seats at the table, just assuming Kate intended to wait on them hand and foot with coffee and food.
The catering needs of two former outlaws was not foremost on Kate's mind, but she did absently fill the coffeepot and put it on the stove to heat.
"Now what was this dream?" Heyes prodded.
"Well, I was riding my bicycle and..."
"How do you get them short legs up on a bicycle?" Kid asked.
"Bicycles don't look the same as they did in your day Kid," Kate explained. "They are much lower to the ground and the wheels are smaller and of equal size, and they use a bike chain to move the wheels when you pedal."
"I never could take to them giant wheel bikes in my day," Kid replied.
"Go on with your story Kate," Heyes again prodded.
"Well, as I said, I was riding my bicycle down a road and I passed by a thick row of trees. Just beyond the trees was a parking lot that I had never seen before, so I decided to investigate."
"Sounds innocent enough," Heyes told her.
"Well, in the parking lot, standing next to a white truck..."
"White's a sign of purity," Kid said knowingly.
"Well, you're alter ego was standing there with one arm resting on the hood, talking to a young lady who was sitting in the grass listening to his every word."
"What was he telling her?" Kid asked with serious competition concerns."I've heard them two alter egos talk and they don't seem to have a wide range of subject matter. Women and food is about their limit."
"Sounds familiar," Heyes told his partner. "Go on with your story, Kate."
"He was tutoring her on..." Kate hesitated to divulge the subject matter and Kid rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, like he knows more than me about that subject," Kid said with a smirk on his face.
"It wasn't that subject, " Kate replied. "It was about story composition," Kate confessed.
"What! Story writing? That's all he's got on his mind?" Kid said, honestly dumbfounded while Heyes did his best to conceal an amused smiled. "Kate, you said this dream was in your real time, right?"
"That's right."
"So my alter ego is like your age, right."
"He's older than me, Kid. But in the dream, he was thirty-ish."
"But you're closer to his age than you are to thirty!"
"What is your point?"
"Finish telling us your dream, then I'll tell you my point," Kid told her.
"Would the two of you quite bickering," Heyes grumbled. "Kid's right, tell us the rest of your dream."
"Alright," Kate replied. "So he's talking about story composition and the three of us get into some discussion about that. I mean they both act like it's perfectly natural for me to be a part of the discussion."
"I've heard he is very polite," Heyes said. "Likely wouldn't tell you he thought you were intruding."
"Are you telling this story?' Kate snapped.
"Sorry," Heyes replied. "Go on."
"Well, after a while he hands each of us a paper with three story ideas on it. When he gives me the paper I look up and ask him if he is tutoring me too, and he says "isn't that why you're here?"
"That's it?' Kid asked.
"No," Kate replied. "So I look at the three story ideas and he says he wants me to start with story number 3. Well, story number three is about wombats."
"Wombats?" Kid and Heyes asked in unison.
"Uh-uh. And I told him that I hate wombats. Well he just grins at me and says 'I know.'"
"Why would you hate wombats?" Heyes asked.
"And how would he know that?' Kid asked.
"I don't hate wombats and I wondered how he knew that, too," Kate replied. "So anyway, I get back on my bike and realize I am late for work, but I stop at a fast food place and buy a chicken sandwich, even though I'm late for work."
"Where do you work?" Kid asked.
"In the dream I worked at a restaurant."
"Why didn't you just go to work on time and eat there?' Kid asked.
"I DON"T KNOW," Kate said with great frustration. "That would make sense, but I didn't say the dream was logical."
"See, right there. That's my point," Kid exclaimed.
Kate looked at Heyes with some confusion. "What's your point?' she asked.
"Remember I told you when you were all done rambling about some subconscious thoughts streaming through your head, that I would tell you what the point of it all was?" Kid said.
"I don't recall you using those precise words, but go ahead and tell us your point."
"You're old," Kid replied as a simple conclusion and with no malice whatsoever.
"And that means...?" Kate asked.
"Means you got different priorities than you did when you was really thirty."
"And those different priorities includes wombats?" Kate asked.
"Might," Kid concluded. "At any rate you didn't wake up all hot and sweaty, did you?"
"Wombats don't typically cause that kind of a reaction in anyone, no matter what their age,' Kate argued.
"Maybe not, but the thirty year old alter ego of mine ought to evoke that kind of reaction," Kid said. "Instead, he just got you thinking about wombats and chicken sandwiches!"
"I think I'm beginning to see your point, Kid. It's not so much that I am old. It's that you can still evoke the hot and sweaty dreams. It's always all about you, isn't it Kid?"
"Can you think of a better person for it to be all about?"
"Kid, have you ever heard the term self absorbed?" Heyes asked.
Kid glowered at his partner. "You got a better explanation for that dream of hers?"
"Maybe."
"Then let's hear it, Heyes."
"I think Kate is exploring new literary options and is considering a wide range of subjects."
"Like alter egos and furry rodents, not to mention chicken sandwiches," Kid said. "Kate, stick to subjects you know, like me and Heyes."
"Alright, how about a story where Heyes is eating a chicken sandwich while you are being attacked by a wombat? I mean it has to have a hurt Kid element to it if it's a subject I know."
"Okay, I get it. You don't think much of my theory, but Heyes' theory ain't any better."
"You're right," Kate said as she poured them each a cup of now hot coffee. "So I still have no idea what the dream means."
"It just means what the two Rachels are always telling you," Heyes said. "It means your mind is always mulling over ideas, even in your sleep."
"I'm not convinced," Kate said. "But I think I'll let it go at that. You two can finish your coffee and then go back to whatever it was you were doing. I'm not going to dwell on a silly dream anymore."
"That's likely the best thing to do Kate," Kid added.
"But please, promise me that the two of you will start following the rules about visiting."