Disclaimer : I don't own Dynasty Warriors.
The storyline below is not in the same order as the original historical story, as well as in the novel "Romance of The Three Kingdoms".
Apologize for any grammatical errors.
"Come!".
The bandits looked at each other, including their leader. Don't know how to explain it, but their villain instincts tell them, that this giant man in front of them, is not a fake fighter who just bluffs. Maybe he's even such kind of a war veteran. But, in order to cover up his sense of prestige, the bandit leader still ordered his men to charge.
"Get him!".
Lü Bu can even hear the leader's voice shaking slightly, which was then followed by four bandits jumping at him at once.
"Uwaaaa~~~ ..."
"Hyaaaa~~~ ..."
"Hmph!".
TRAAANNGGG!
Lü Bu used his long halberd hilt to block the four bandits' attacks simultaneously.
"Aargh!" Then with superhuman strength, he pushed the four bandits easily, until they were blown away, as if swept away by a hurricane.
Seeing this giant man quickly and easily defeating four people at once, he threw them away, they didn't even have a chance to touch him, spontaneously there were whispers of fear from the other remaining bandits. Some of them are even visibly shaking now.
"Anyone else?" Lü Bu challenged them, calmly yet sounding like a death challenge.
"Go!" The bandit leader poked repeatedly the arm of one of his subordinates who was standing right next to him while pushing him slightly. His eyes never left Lü Bu.
"Eh?" The bandit subordinate, who was also afraid, surely didn't move forward at all, although now the leader had really pushed him forward to face Lü Bu. He shook his head vigorously, he didn't want to die today!
Since none of his subordinates wanted to come forward, the bandit leader now slapped his men's arm, "What are you doing? Forward! Go and beat him!". A funny pushing and shoving scene occurred between them when the subordinate remains petrified in his position, doesn't want to take a single step forward.
Heh! No way in hell! If he dared, then why wouldn't he be willing to face him himself? After all, isn't he their leader?
Unexpectedly, this not only irritated the bandit members, but also Lü Bu.
A coward like this is the leader?
Instead of wasting time, also it's no fun dealing with cowards, Lü Bu decided to go straight to their so-called leader.
He grabbed the bandit's neck and lifted him off the ground like he was a kitten.
"You are the leader?" Lü Bu asked in his deep, chilling baritone voice.
"Hah~hah~~~No! Lemme go! Please! Don't kill me! Please ... Lemme go!".
Ignoring him, Lü Bu while still clutching the bandit leader's neck, he turned and walked towards the figure he was looking for.
Now that they were standing just a few meters in front of her, Lü Bu asked again. This time his tone was deeper and more terrifying. "This girl. Did you touch her?". His grip on his neck unconsciously tightened, as he asked "did he touch her" part.
"Aaack~~~ NO! I ... didn't do anything to her! I SWEAR! Lemme ... go! Eeekkk~~~" The bandit struggled to answer with difficulty. His voice is nothing more than a hoarse whisper. His entire face started to turn blackish red. He's really suffocating now!
Whether this bastard was telling the truth or not ... Lü Bu observed his lady. She did look messy and tied up, but at least she's still fully clothed.
But suddenly Lü Bu was furious at this weak bastard who liked to harass women. He threw him in front of her with his face to the ground, pinned him down with his strong body, then yanked his hair until he couldn't help but look up at the lady.
"Apologize to her! NOW!".
"So-sorry ..." He just uttered weakly. But then a second later, he screamed loudly as Lü Bu once again grabbed his hair and jerked his head back harshly.
"Do it properly or I'll break your neck!" Lü Bu hissed in his ear.
"I'M SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.
Meanwhile behind them, the underling bandits took advantage of that moment to slowly sneak up and leave the place. The hell with their leader! Let the coward die as bait!
Then, does that mean Lü Bu doesn't know about their escape? Of course he knows. But to him, those who fled in battle were just cowards. And cowards are not worth dealing with him! Just let those cowards run away, he doesn't care! After all, he's now on an important task. He's educating a man so that he's not disrespect women.
Lü Bu then looked up at his lady, asking for her approval.
The lady, who didn't understand his meaning, opened her eyes wide, with the real intention of asking, what did Lü Bu want to say.
On the other hand, what's ridiculous is that Lü Bu misinterpreted those wide-eyed gesture. He thought she meant that this bastard had harassed her even though with just a perverted stare. Well, he wasn't completely wrong actually. Or maybe this is the time for this bandit leader to get his karma, for all this time he has been harassing women.
In short, due to the misinterpretation earlier, Lü Bu became even more irritated. He's angry now. Roughly, he turned the bandit over so that he's now lying on his back beneath him. While still pinning him to the ground with his large and burly body so that he couldn't move, Lü Bu now placed his two thumbs in each of the bastard's eyes.
"No, no, no, nooo ... DON'T!" The bandit howled in fright and despair.
"Thank me! At least I helped you lessen your sins!" He ignored those scumbag's frantic whining.
"MMMHHH! Hmm ... mmm ... mmm ... mmm ... mmm ... mmm ... mmmmhhh!".
"Hmm?" Just as Lü Bu was about to press his thumbs to poke holes in the eyes of the perverted bandit, uh ... he actually got a loud protest from the lady in front of him.
"What? I did the right thing! A pervert like him is better off not having eyes, right? A sex crook!".
"MMMHHH! Mmm ... mmm ... mmm ... mmm ... mmm ... mmhh!".
Since she kept on nagging at Lü Bu not to continue what he was doing, then with compulsion, and half amused actually, but of course he was still acting cool, Lü Bu slowly stood up. "Oh well. Looks like My Lady doesn't like seeing blood ..."
Just when the perverted bandit was relieved because he thought it was finally over, and then …
NYEKKK!
Heh?
All of a sudden, without further ado, a rush of excruciatingly intense pain assaulted his groin, all the way up to his stomach. The pain was so horrible that words couldn't describe it, until it felt like he had died for a moment. He even forgot to scream.
"Hah! This is so satisfying! I hate perverted men! Disgusting! Die you insect!".
The lady couldn't help but dumbfounded as Lü Bu once again stepped on the perverted bandit's groin. While the bandit? He has passed out, obviously.
"Hmph! Serves you right!".
After making sure that his opponent was completely motionless, Lü Bu went to her, helped her to remove the gag and the ropes that bound her body.
"Are you alright?" Unexpected even to himself, Lü Bu was really worried about her. She just nodded. Looks like she's still in shock.
After doing a quick screening and confirming that she wasn't hurt, Lü Bu helped her up. "Let's get out of here!". It was only then that she remembered something, she squealed a little.
"What? What's wrong?".
"My pouch! They took it from me!".
"Huh? What pouch?". Then Lü Bu remembered, she did have a small pouch filled with gold. "Oh ... That!".
Lü Bu felt bad for her, but it can't be helped. That's how it is if you're unlucky and accidentally run into bandits. They steal, seize by force. But still, the loss she had experienced was quite large. That pouch actually contains rare pure gold.
Seeing various emotions such as anger, sadness and disappointment mixed together on her beautiful face ...
Now wait a minute. Beautiful? Did he just ...? Okay, he'd forget if he ever said that word. Let's just pretend it never happened!
"Hey, what are you doing?!" In an instant Lü Bu returned to his senses when he saw the lady casually walking towards those fainted bandit.
"Does it need to be asked? I'm looking for my pouch, of course. Maybe he kept it somewhere in his shirt ..."
Lü Bu immediately ran and blocked the girl's path towards the lying scumbag with his body "Are you out of your mind? No need to look for it! Let's just get out of here before the rest of the bandits come!".
The girl looked at him with a disapproving look, and Lü Bu, he already knew that the lady in front of him was a stubborn one, raised both hands, giving her a solution "Okay, fine! You stay here! I'll find it for you. I don't want you to touch this perverted bastard!".
But then, when he saw her reaction raise an eyebrow, Lü Bu, who became aware that there was something slightly odd with the words he had just spoken, hastily corrected it, so that she wouldn't misunderstand. "I mean, of course you wouldn't want to get your hands dirty touching a perverted bandit like him, now would you? Ah never mind!". Frustrated by the awkward feeling he had never felt before, Lü Bu chose to ignore it and started crouching down to examine every inch of the bandit's body who was still unconscious, or maybe even in suspended animation, looking in every crevice of his clothes, he even dug into his pockets.
"Well?". Behind his back, the lady is peeking with a hopeful face.
Instead of answering, Lü Bu stood up. After all he had already finished searching.
"Can't find it, huh?" She asked with a sad face, making Lü Bu feel funny inside.
For God's sake, he is Lü Bu! The mighty Lü Bu! A great, most powerful and fearful warlord! In his head there is only war, slaughter, bloodshed. No time to feel uncomfortable or sad, especially when it comes to women! And yet ... What is this, the uncomfortable feeling when he sees this little girl in front of him sad. He's not happy to see her sad.
No, not a little girl. She is a young woman.
Alright, that's enough! Stop thinking about this now! Besides, why the heck are they still here? Well, whether voluntarily or under compulsion, he was going to take this young lady out of this bandits' lair. Now!
"Look, I know you feel sad because you lost your pouch and I sympathize with you! But that doesn't mean we have to linger here. We really have to go now!".
She seemed to think for a moment, before finally letting out a resigned sigh and nodding with a heavy heart. "Well ... I guess you're right!".
Lü Bu was relieved to see she finally turned around and started walking towards the door ... but only for a few steps. He was already walking behind her to escort her, when she suddenly turned around and asked once more. "Have you checked every fold of his shirt? His pockets? Nothing was missed?".
Lü Bu actually, could have hit her so that she passed out, so it was easier for him to get her out of here. But he doesn't want to hurt her. He himself wondered why he didn't want to be rude to her. In fact, he knew himself to be a merciless, bloodthirsty general in war.
Rather awkwardly and stiffly, Lü Bu then tugged at her sleeve, since he didn't know if she would be comfortable if he suddenly took her hand or her arm.
"Yes, yes and yes! And for the last time, let's get out of here!".
When Lü Bu glanced at her, it seemed that she had opened her mouth to protest. But then she didn't and finally complied when Lü Bu pulled her, not violently, away from the bandits' lair.
They kept walking until they came to a crowded place. And all that time, Lü Bu kept pulling her sleeve, until a time when Lü Bu finally realized, that people were already paying attention to them. Some even dared to point at him!
Lü Bu, who suddenly remembered his past when he was still in the cage, became furious. "What? Why are you guys looking at me with such contempt, hah? If you have a problem with me, tell me clearly!".
Unexpectedly, a middle-aged woman dared to answer him, while pointing her finger to him. "Young man! Have you no shame? You dragged your wife all the way following you, she's not a donkey, is she?!" .
Beside her, a young woman, probably her daughter, was tugging at her arm, begging her to go. But the mother shrugged her hand instead and continued to scold Lü Bu. "If you call yourself a real man, then you will definitely treat women with more respect! Especially to your wife!".
Being rebuked like that, of course Lü Bu was shocked, he didn't expect it.
First, there's a middle-aged woman, who he didn't know, all of sudden out of nowhere dared to scold him in public plus pointed a finger at him, even though at that time, women would never ever dare to talk to strangers, let alone men.
Second, Lü Bu just realized, since he is very tall, so his legs are very long. Automatically, every step he took was definitely much wider than people with average height. Lü Bu turned to the young woman whom he now considered as his lady and just realized that she's petite, although not too short. But still, one step for Lü Bu, maybe two to three steps for her. Moreover, since he was still holding onto her sleeve, it was only natural that people would misunderstand, thinking he was dragging her, though clearly he didn't mean that at all.
Third, now this is what actually surprised him the most because … Wife? The middle-aged woman referred to his lady as his wife? Do they look like husband and wife?
"Ya, Ma'am! What are you talking about? He didn't drag me! You see, he's very tall so his legs are really long ... Uh, excuse me? Ma'am? I am talking to you?".
Once again Lü Bu was surprised, because his lady had the same thoughts as him. Plus, she was now eloquently defending him. Although, it's actually useless, because the middle-aged woman has been pulled away by her daughter.
But they could still hear her grumbling. "And he carries a giant ax too! Does he think he's great?! His wife too, how dare she talk back to me! Hah, young people today's, lack of moral education!".
"Thanks for your concern, anyway! Take care!". She still had time to shout and insinuate the middle-aged woman.
What a unique and attractive woman she is! Who is she really, Lü Bu is getting more and more curious. Oh right, he hasn't asked her name yet! Then, this time he won't forget ...
Just as Lü Bu opened his mouth to ask, she spoke first. "Well, thanks for helping me. Though I actually wanted to ask how did you know I was caught by those bandits, but, I'm in a bad mood right now, so ..." She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess this is really the time to say good bye, huh? Take care of yourself!".
"No!" Lü Bu immediately answered before she left him again. Of course he refused.
"No?" She repeated it in a questioning tone.
Lü Bu cleared his throat. Actually he was not comfortable with this situation, nor he was good at putting words together. However, he would still try. Hopefully he doesn't talk nonsense!
"I've decided. I'll go with you!". Yep, that's nice! Short, concise, clear and easy to understand. Lü Bu is very proud of himself!
However, his confidence was slowly eroded when the lady just kept still. She didn't answer, she didn't even seem surprised or interested in his statement just now. In short, she didn't react at all.
After waiting like for eternity, eventually she answered. "Oh. Wow. Okay, let's make it clear. You want to go with me? Are you sure? I mean, you don't know who I am? Maybe I'm some kind of bad guy who will hurt you while you're sleeping or off guard?".
Now, look at her! Those words came from the young woman he had just rescued from the bandits who were threatening her honor as a woman, yet she's still trying to scare him. He desperately held back his laughter, which luckily worked.
But hey! Besides, it seems like she doesn't know who he really is either, now does she? Well, that doesn't mean Lü Bu will tell her either, he didn't want to scare her. Plus, it would make her even more reluctant to let him go with her.
Lü Bu shrugged. "I said, I've made up my mind. So, yes, I'm sure!".
"Don't you want to go back to your home? Your family?".
Hearing this, Lü Bu snorted. "I have no home! No friends let alone family! Everyone I know has turned their back on me! They betrayed me! What do you think ... How did I end up as the pet of that damn merchant?" He spat out the last words bitterly. Lü Bu even felt disgusted when he said the word 'pet'. Just imagining it, he was itching to beat up that greedy merchant who always tortured and humiliated him.
When he looked at her again, he could see, her eyes were indeed on him, but Lü Bu could tell that her gaze was lost somewhere, looks like she's daydreaming. However her consciousness returned as Lü Bu waved his hand in front of her face. "Hey, what's wrong? Are you daydreaming?".
"Huh? What? Oh, it's nothing! I just ... well, let's just say I just remembered the reason why I ran away ..."
Lü Bu raised an eyebrow as she hastily stopped her words just now. It seemed like she had just realized that she might have accidentally leaked some of her secrets.
Just now, she mentioned that she ran away? But, running from what? From any angle, she didn't look like a fugitive at all. In fact, she was more suited to be a poor weak victim. After all, Lü Bu was still an ordinary human. And as a human, he too, still has curiosity.
"Hmm... Judging by your reaction earlier, you're afraid of seeing blood and violence, then obviously there's no way you're a murderer. Oh, I see. Are you a robber? You have a lot of gold, so maybe..."
DUGH!
Lü Bu looked at his knees, then at the woman in front of him. Then back at his knees, then again looked up at her.
Did she just kick him?
It's painless, though. Not even itching. But surprisingly, it was she who's now wincing in pain.
Seeing her in pain, Lü Bu sighed and asked her patiently. "Are you all right?".
He was no longer surprised to find himself not angry even though he was actually just kicked by her. If only he was the old Lü Bu, wah, she would die formless! Even just imagining it, was already horrified!
However, there's something even more terrifying, when the young woman in front of him suddenly looked at him with eyes that flashed with anger.
"Did you just call me a robber?".
Of course not. Lü Bu only meant to joke so that they would get to know each other better. It's just, he wasn't good at putting words together, didn't he say that before? Eh ... come to think of it, he didn't really say that. Shit, this is bad! It seemed that he had said something wrong and had offended her.
Wondering what he should do, between wanting to help her, but seeing that she was angry, there's no way she would allow him to approach her, Lü Bu chose to remain awkwardly silent.
This girl in front of him was amazing. Instead of yelling and cursing at him now, humiliating him right in the middle of the sea of people, she was now trying to control her anger. "Wah, I need to sit down! Let's get some drink!".
And what she meant ... was drinking tea.
Here they are now, sitting in an inn with a small tavern on the ground floor. She drank the hot tea like drinking arrack. Lü Bu wondered, was her tongue not burn? The tea is really hot!
"Don't feel relieved just yet! I'm still mad at you! But, I don't want to embarrass us. Besides, since it's rude to curse and yell and scold people in public, so ..."
"Do it! I will listen!".
"Don't tell me what to do! Aish, you really piss me off!". Suddenly she exploded like a volcano. Can people get drunk from drinking too much tea? It seems so. And that's her! She is that person! She started nagging at length. Luckily the tavern was quiet, they are the only visitors.
Never having faced a woman, let alone a drunk one, Lü Bu repeatedly bit his lip to control his laughter. He even choked on his tea a few times.
"Hey, Mister! Are you still listening to me?".
Actually no, not anymore. As she has started babbling, her words are not clear anymore, so he just let her ramble on. However, rather than angering her further, Lü Bu pretended not to hear. Calmly, he took a sip of his tea.
"Ah, tsk! Look at you! Now you're even ignoring me!" She drank another cup of tea and then suddenly burped casually without covering her mouth, Lü Bu gawking in surprise. Apparently, she seemed to be full of tea.
"Where was I? Oh, yes I remember!" She cleared her throat before continuing.
"Ehem! So, Mister, I ran away, not because I was a fugitive! Or a robber … Or a murderer … ARGH! I'm not a criminal! How dare you accuse me recklessly!".
"Then why did you say you ran away? Must be a reason, huh?" Actually Lü Bu was just asking for fun. Who knows she might answer since she was drunk.
She raised one eyebrow. Looks like she's not completely drunk. "Ha! Hahaha! Nice try! You, Sir, you really took advantage of the situation, huh? Do you think I will answer, hah?".
Lü Bu just shrugged. It's fine if she doesn't want to answer him. He was raising his cup to his mouth, about to drink again, when she replied. "I ran away from home!".
Lü Bu's cup stopped halfway. Huh? So, she finally answered?
"You know ... I'm the only child in my family. My father ... was very wealthy, a landlord. As for my mother ... she died long ago when I was a little. I don't even remember her face!".
"I'm sorry!".
She's waving her head and hands like a drunken person "It's okay, it happened a long time ago! Let's just continue the story. Father never remarried, and I thank him for that!" She looked lost for a moment before carry on.
"Hhh ... I used to think, I'm a lucky kid. You understand too, right? Born as a girl, let alone as the only child, with a rich father ... However, my father was different. He's ... proud of me?" Somehow she sounded hesitant when she said it.
"Long story short, my father never questioned me even though I was a girl and he had no sons. He always gave me the best education. I was also taught not to be extravagant, to work hard, save my money, and also to remain polite and respectful to everyone, even to our guards, maids and servants, horsemen and gardeners. Father loves me very much. Or so I thought.
Until one day, I overheard when my father was talking to one of the officials who happened to come to visit. It's not too strange, because most of father's friends are from high-ranking or nobles, our house often has important guests. Anyway, you know what I heard? I heard with my own ears, that my father ... He ... He meant to, how should I put it, sold me off?" She snorted sarcastically, but her eyes clearly looked hurt and disappointed.
"Father even said, 'I raised her as a princess, gave her the best education, prepared her so that she could be a perfect wife-to-be material thing, you know ... What's the point of having daughters, if not marrying them off to officials or authorities, eh? By the way, I heard one of the officials in the north is looking for a mistress ...'
All of a sudden, I got sick of hearing their conversation. Okay, I thought, I've heard enough. I'll be sold to a masher as his mistress. Do I have any other option? Ah, whatever! I didn't wait any longer. That night, I ran away from home! At least they won't get me that easily, geez, I'm not some ... kind of stuff that can be traded arbitrarily! HAH!" She fell silent again, this time her breath hitched with anger, sadness and disappointment. "It's just ... I never thought! My father ... He ..."
Hearing her voice start to tremble, Lü Bu hastily interrupted, "You don't have to continue if you're not comfortable!".
For a long time she just stared at him, Lü Bu got nervous. He had refilled his teacup again and again. One more cup, he too would be drunk from drinking too much tea.
"You, Sir, are such a good person!".
Good thing he didn't spit tea in her face, though he was choking. He started coughing.
"Are you alright? Haish, drink slowly!" Without fear, she leaned towards him to pat his back. Unfortunately she didn't realize that her current position actually showed her cleavage, but he did. However, instead of taking advantage, Lü Bu immediately turned his face away while slightly pushing her away "I'm fine! Sit properly!".
Huh? Wait a minute, this is weird isn't it? He's a man, isn't he? Yes he had never been married before, or even officially dated a woman. But that doesn't mean that Lü Bu has never slept with women, though he rarely did, even if compared with his own men.
Then, there was Diao Chan. Everyone at the time thought that they were officially in a relationship. Maybe not wrong, but not completely right either. At that time, he thought of Diao Chan as one of his … devotees? Well, there may be feelings of attraction and liking, Diao Chan was indeed beautiful after all. But, that's all.
But, for this lady, somehow he didn't dare to be insolent or presumptuous to her. Lü Bu only knows, this young lady in front of him should be treated with dignity and respect.
Just when Lü Bu looked up, she was looking at him with one corner of her lips rising in annoyance. Her face was actually really funny, but Lü Bu knew he better not laugh, because she was clearly upset.
"Finally! I've been talking at length while calling you for a while ... eh, but you're daydreaming instead! Hhh ... Luckily no one else was around. Otherwise they'd have thought I was crazy for babbling alone!".
"Is that so? I-mphm ... Ehem! Hold on sec-mphm ..."
Alas, Lü Bu just found out that controlling laughter is just as difficult as controlling anger. It might even be more difficult. The more he tried, the more he couldn't hold it in anymore. At first he just giggled softly, after a while, he burst out laughing. When he glanced at her, she was shocked at first, but after a while she looked at him with a funny bored face while resting her chin on her palm. But Lü Bu was sure, he saw an amused smile on her lips behind her fingers.
"One second. Give me ... one second!" He gasped for breath and struggled to stop his laughter. His stomach hurts too. When Lü Bu finally regained his composure, he straightened his seat. "Ehem! You were saying?".
She raised one eyebrow, with her face implying that in fact she still doubted him.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that? You don't believe me?" And after that, he giggled again.
Lü Bu himself did not understand what was happening. Never before had he been made to laugh like this, and what he meant was that he really laughed because there's something fun and funny, not a cynical or mocking laugh, usually at his opponents. Somehow he feels … happy around her.
"Okay! Ehem! Okay, okay!" Lü Bu raised both hands, with his palms facing her, as if he was giving up. "Huft! Now I'm ready!".
Sluurrpp!
"Waah, this gravy tastes really good! Hmm? Oh, sorry, since you didn't stop laughing, I got hungry, so I ordered this radish soup. You too, go order something! Aren't you hungry?" She spoke with her mouth full of food, but remained nonchalant.
Again, suddenly Lü Bu remembered Diao Chan and couldn't help but compare this lady in front of him with her. She's definitely not as elegant as Diao Chan, but, there is something unique and attractive about her. Something, that Diao Chan doesn't have.
By the way speaking of Diao Chan, Lü Bu suddenly became angry. He used to think Diao Chan truly loved and devoted to him. How wrong he was!
When Cao Cao sold him as 'merchandise', so that he would be humiliated for the rest of his life instead of beheading him, Lü Bu saw with his own eyes, Diao Chan voluntarily surrendered herself to Cao Cao, possibly to be one of his concubines.
Diao Chan and ... Zhang Liao.
Wonderful! Completely beyond his expectation! He thought the two of them were the most loyal and devoted to him. Bah!
Exasperated, Lü Bu subconsciously squeezed the teacup that was in his palm, crushing it to pieces.
"Ya! What's the matter with you? Calm down! If you're hungry, then eat! Why destroy other people's things? Haish! Give me your hand, lemme see it! Auh! So much blood!".
Lü Bu, who just realized what he just did, admiringly watched the lady deftly clean the wound on his hand. She pulled out one by one the shards that stuck in his flesh, as gently as possible. What amazed him even more, every time she pulled out a shard, she always looked up at him apologetically, in case it hurt him. As if.
Hold on, he thinks she's afraid of blood?
"This wound of yours needs to be sterilized! Is there any antiseptic here? Some kind of alcohol?". She then stood up, seeming to be looking for the alcohol she had mentioned earlier.
"Wait here! Don't you dare to touch anything again, you understand! Here, hold this!" She gave Lü Bu a beautiful lavender handkerchief, made of silk. "Press firmly on your wound to stop the bleeding! You wait for me here! I'll get you some medicine and antiseptic!".
Lü Bu was very impressed with her. Very.
Yes, she might not be as graceful as the daughters of high-class nobles.
Yes, she may not be as beautiful as Diao Chan, although she's not ugly either.
Yes, she likes to nag. They had just met today, and she had nagged him a lot, which was oddly enough that Lü Bu was neither angry nor offended. Instead, he was amused.
One day. Just one day with her, felt so good to him. Well, even though there was an unexpected bandit kidnapping incident, but ...
Lü Bu immediately came back from his daydream when he saw her coming back while biting her nails. She looked ... embarrassed, restless, apologetic? Lü Bu frowned.
Why?
He waited patiently when he saw her ordering something from the owner.
"I forgot that I lost my pouch. Apparently they took my wallet too, those fuckers!" She hissed her curse, which made her adorable.
This is not the time to laugh, Lü Bu reminded himself.
The owner came to deliver the order and just as before, she thanked politely. Lü Bu smiled. For some reason, the sight was very soothing to him. Even Diao Chan, never thanked her maids.
Lü Bu watched what she ordered that was now on the table. A bowl of hot rice, a bowl of wonton soup, four pieces of shumai and … Was it what he thought, a jug of arrack?
As if reading his mind, she said "Ah, yes, I ordered some arrack!".
But then she stared intently at him, as if warning him. "Not to drink! This is to sterilize your wound, because, uh, I thought it contained alcohol? Well, let's just say so. Come here! Gimme your hand!".
She simply put down her beautiful silk handkerchief which was now covered in blood. She didn't even complain that her handkerchief was covered in Lü Bu's blood.
"Hold it! Maybe this will hurt a little!".
Lü Bu, who was already immune to cuts and scrapes, only felt a slight stinging pain. This is nothing to him! Instead, he enjoyed watching her gently and carefully washing his wounds.
Seeing how skillful she was in washing and tending wounds, Lü Bu hesitated. She was more properly called a healer than one who was afraid to see blood.
"You can start eating your soup instead of just looking at me! After this you have to take antibiotics. Your stomach needs to be filled with something! Besides, you haven't had dinner either, have you?".
Okay, Lü Bu was surprised at first. How would she know if he was watching her? She also seems to be able to read minds. Is she some kind of psychic? She even said it without looking at him, she was still busy tending to his wound.
"I'm right-handed!". Wow, just one day hanging out with her, Lü Bu suddenly felt he also became smarter. He can, uh, argue elegantly? Just like her. No anger, stay cool, to the point, winning answer! His injured hand is indeed the right hand, really!
When she looked up, Lü Bu knew that he had lost, though she didn't say anything yet.
"I know! That's why I also ordered shumai. You can eat the shumai with your left hand, can't you? By the way, Mister, are you a former soldier? War fighter? Somekind of warrior, eh?".
Lü Bu, for the umpteenth time was surprised. However, this time he was more afraid.
Then, what? Was she afraid of him now? Does she know who he really is? Would she forbid him to come with her?
"Look at this! Your hands are full of muscles, but strangely, the bleeding has stopped! Usually the bodies of people who are often scratched or injured, automatically have a mechanism to stop the blood faster as a form of self-defense, so as not to bleed out quickly. Then judging by your shape and appearance … you can't just be a carpenter, right?".
Relieved and amazed at the same time. She is one in a million! His injured palm was now also wrapped in a very neat bandage.
"There! It's done!" She flipped through Lü Bu's palm which was enormous in comparison to hers, proudly watching her handiwork.
"Have you eaten the shumai? If so, now take this antibiotic ... Ya, why haven't you eaten yet? If you want to take medicine, your stomach can't be empty!".
Lü Bu usually didn't like the fussy and noisy type of woman like her. He calls them attention seekers.
"Excuse me?".
"Hmm?".
A moment later, a strange and awkward situation occurred, she walked back slightly awkwardly.
"Oh! So-sorry! I forgot that you're a grown man! I just meant to ..." But then, she came to her senses and stopped herself from "being fussy" again.
Lü Bu didn't understand at first, he blinked in confusion. But then he realized that ... Oh no, this can't be happening, can it? Could it be that he accidentally said it out loud, about chatty women who he thought were just attention seekers? Without thinking, Lü Bu immediately leaned his tower body towards her, whereas she immediately took a step back.
Now she looks around nervously, except at him. "Eat, then take your medicine!" Her voice was subdue now, no longer cheerful and excited as before. "It's antibiotics. You see, I don't have enough money to get you antiseptic, so I bought you antibiotics, ehehehe ... Tonight, you can sleep at this inn. It's okay, I can still afford it. Well then, good night, Mister, have a good rest! I hope you get well soon! Don't worry, I won't nag you anymore!".
Perhaps since basically she's a cheerful girl, she still smiles sincerely while waving at him before she finally turned around and started walking away.
'What are you doing?'~~~
'Why are you still sitting here quietly?'~~~
'Go after her and clear up this misunderstanding! Man, you just lost a rare woman that you will never find again in any dynasty!'~~~
Even without his brain needing to tell him, Lü Bu also knew, he couldn't lose a rare girl like her! Even his ego agreed and pushed him instead to run towards her. Unfortunately, due to being overly passionate, Lü Bu pulled at her hand like a maniac, causing her to shriek hysterically.
"Oh my God! What the hell! You startled me! Oh! Oh my poor heart!".
"Don't go!".
"My pardon?" She asked nonchalantly while patting her chest, calming her still pounding heart.
"I ..." Lü Bu licked his lips, he's really nervous now. Hopefully he doesn't mess it up, please! "Look, I don't know what you heard or what I said but, I swear I didn't mean it! At all! Whatever that was!".
Instead of pretending to be sulky like girls who really are attention seekers, she was confused, then only understood what Lü Bu meant a few seconds later. "Ah! You mean about you don't like fussy girls?".
Now that these words came out of her mouth, Lü Bu's ears immediately felt uncomfortable. He could imagine, it was clear that she immediately wanted to distance herself from him.
However ...
"It's okay! You know, I really am a fussy girl. Father used to remind me to be calmer and sweeter and more collected, hhh ... But if I happen to meet someone I'm compatible with, moreover if I like him or her, usually without realizing it, I get very chatty. Even nosy sometimes!".
"So you like me?" Somehow Lü Bu felt very happy when he heard her 'confession', if that could be considered as a confession.
"Yes of course! Are you going to talk to people you don't like? It's annoying even just looking at them, isn't it? Like those bandits! If I ever see them again, I'll smack them in their ass for taking my wallet!".
How relieved Lü Bu was when he heard she was 'chirping' again with her cheerful voice. Maybe what she meant by 'like' here was clearly different from what Lü Bu meant, but, to hell with that! It's not that he doesn't understand either, but, for now Lü Bu's quite happy to know that she likes him, whatever that means.
"Don't worry, Mister, it's okay, I can understand! After all, you're a man. Men usually don't like talkative women! So ..."
"So, we're good now?" Maybe they are just right for each other. The proof, Lü Bu was able to continue her words almost immediately, something that had never happened before.
"I think so. I still have to go, though!".
"What? But you just said..."
"If I don't go now, I'm going to pee my pants!".
"Huh?" Lü Bu was stunned for a moment. "Oh!".
"Well? Move, then!".
Lü Bu couldn't help but smile, as he looked at her back walking, half running now, away from him, towards the restroom. Did she realize who she just ordered? Nah, who is he fooling anyway? He was powerless against her. Not even interested in rebutting her orders either.
"WAAAAAA!".
For God's sake! Lü Bu's heart almost fell out, from the shock. Thankfully as a former warlord, he quickly controlled himself, then immediately ran towards where the screams came from, hers obviously, behind the restroom door.
"What's going on? Hey ... Lady? Are you all right?" Agh! At a time like this, since he hadn't asked her name, it felt strange when he could only address her as 'lady'.
"Rat, rat! There's a rat! Mouse! HELP!".
Of course Lü Bu wanted to help her, but, she was in the restroom! What if he broke down the door to force his way in and it turned out that she was still in the middle of her 'business'? At least he tried to open the door. Yep, still locked.
"I can't help you if you don't unlock the door!".
"No, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Don't open the door!".
Good thing he didn't barge in. Turns out his guess was right.
"And ... the rat?".
"I think it's gone? Eh?".
Lü Bu waited for a while. Since she was silent, he knocked on the restroom door again. "Are you alright now? Is the rat really gone? I'll be waiting at the door, okay?".
"No, no! Go back to your seat!".
"But ..."
"It's okay! Looks like the rat has returned to the sewer. I'll be out in a minute!".
Lü Bu actually meant to wait for her at the door. He really was still right in front of the door, until he heard the sound of splashing water. Only then did he understand what she meant and decided to return to his seat quietly. Maybe she's shy and doesn't want Lü Bu to hear when she's cleaning herself. Yeah, she can still call him if she really needs his help, so ...
When he got to his table, Lü Bu saw the medicine and food on the table. What was the name of the medicine? Antibaiyau ... Agh! What a tongue twister! Whatever! Meanwhile, the soup and the rice are still steaming.
Well, well, he can be a good boy too!
"Hhh ... What a terrible experience! Why do rats and cockroaches like to give jumpscares? I swear, they are more horror than ghosts!".
Coming out of the restroom, she grumbled softly while walking towards her seat, only to be greeted by … a smiling Lü Bu, who was sitting nicely, now waiting for her.
He, Lü Bu, looks so innocent, docile and … adorable? Just like a kindergartner patiently waiting for his mother to pick him up. People who knew him would not believe it! Seeing him so well-mannered, she got a little goosebumps and suspicious. What now? Hopefully this is nothing!
"Are you okay?".
Or maybe he drank arrack, he's drunk now? Damn, she completely forgot that she bought a jug of arrack earlier!
"Look! I've eaten all the shumai and also have taken the medicine you bought for me! I'm trying to eat the rice and the soup. It's a bit difficult though with my left hand, so I eat slowly!" He even proudly explained that he had followed her advice, eat shumai first before taking the antibiotics.
Seeing her glance at the arrack jug suspiciously, Lü Bu innocently explained "Don't worry, I didn't drink a drop!", while now scooping rice with his left hand.
It's really messy. The rice sticks everywhere. On the spoon, on the cheek, on the chin, lips, fingers. Now he tried to take the wonton that had bloomed in the gravy. Many times he failed, because the wonton skin had absorbed the gravy, making it slippery to scoop. But he really tried and she was touched by his efforts.
"If you eat like that, the soup and rice will get cold. The wontons will also bloom. It won't taste good anymore!".
Lü Bu shrugged "It can't be helped. I'm right-handed right?".
"Here, let me help you!".
Lü Bu was surprised as she reached for his spoon. "Wait a minute, help me? But, how?".
"Ya I'll feed you, what else? Oh come on, give me your spoon! Why is it? Are you shy? It's okay, I won't make fun of you!".
Never once in his life had Lü Bu imagined that he would experience anything like this. Even with Diao Chan though.
Is this what they call ... romance?
Do please underline, he is the one who feels it, not from the woman's side, as has been happening all this time.
Yes, it was true that during this time Lü Bu had rarely had any special, let alone romantic, relationships with women. In fact, almost never. He only occasionally sleeps with women, to fulfill his biological needs as a man.
But even so, he knew, women adored him. Who wouldn't want to be the wife, concubine or mistress of a Lü Bu, a mighty warlord? Before Diao Chan, they even competed with each other just to serve him in bed!
At that moment, Lü Bu felt himself like a golden trophy that so many people, both men and women, fought for, but no one could win his heart. And it turns out he was wrong. He wasn't a golden trophy. He was just a fake one, a cheap brass cup, which when it fell in a puddle, rusted and covered in mud and dirt, no one wanted it anymore but to trample it further and dunk it deeper and deeper into the mud.
But now ...
"I don't know your name yet!" The question just blurted out.
Seeing her only raised an eyebrow in response, Lü Bu immediately added, "I mean, when we go out together, it won't be funny if I just refer you as miss or lady? Wouldn't it be better if I knew your name? What do you think?".
"Did I agree that we would go together?".
Lü Bu felt as if he had been thrown into an abyss. Will she also reject him? Indeed, she hadn't clearly allowed him to go with her and serve her, but, he thought ...
"Look Mister, I suggest you'd better start a new life! You know, maybe you can get married, have your own house and family, have a job? But, if you really want to be adventurous, I think you should find another master to serve. You see, I am nobody. I now have no home, no acquaintances. Heck, in fact I was just robbed! I have no money! Well, there are still some, but not as much as before ..."
Does Lü Bu care about that? In the past, maybe yes. He will even justify any means, anything to achieve power and the highest position, which turns out to be nothing more than an illusion.
But now?
"In short, right now I have no purpose in life. I don't even know where I should go! Do you want to serve a master like myself? A master who doesn't even know her purpose in life or her future ... I don't think so!".
"After you said that, I think you're right!".
"Oh! That's right, isn't it!".
"Hmm ... Then, shall we go on an adventure together ... as companions?".
"Ha?" She blinked, looking at Lü Bu, who was grinning at her.
"Umph ... Mister, I don't think you understand? I'm a nobody! I don't have anything, I don't even have a home!".
"Neither do I!".
Excuse me? Did he just answer? Yah, even though his answer is not wrong, really. Never mind, she will try again.
"I also have no acquaintances or friends who can help me?".
"You have one now, me. Apart from accompanying you, I can also be your protector. How's that? It's not bad, huh? Think of it as a bonus! Who knows, you may meet some other crazy bastards?".
"Aah! Did you just, indirectly, call me weak? Well let me tell you, Sir, I may look like this, but I'm good at kung fu. Don't you underestimate me, huh?".
She is ... Hiihhh ... How Lü Bu puts it? She's really chatty, cranky, fussy, a bit sassy ... He wants to pinch her! Does she know how adorable she is? He didn't think so, and that's what made her even more adorable!
Ya, ya. A kung fu girl who is afraid of mice. Her kick didn't even feel the slightest bit! But of course Lü Bu didn't say that. If this kung fu girl was really sulking, she wouldn't let him come with her!
Lü Bu then changed his strategy.
What?
Lü Bu?
Strategy?
Oh wow! Being with her is not only fun, but also makes him smarter!
"You see … Lady, I'm just like you. Home? Family? Hmph! I'm an orphan, I've been abandoned since childhood! Yes, I was adopted and raised by a fairly wealthy landlord, only to be used and abused. Finally betrayed. But you, who are you? I don't even know your name! We don't know each other and haven't even met before. And yet, you immediately helped me! You're even willing to pay as much as a thousand gold pieces for me, which you don't even know before! You're the only one who helped me! How can I not be touched? I want to serve you to repay your kindness! Allow me!".
Hey! He's really gotten smarter, huh? The words and ideas just appear and strung together, though he's not a person who is good at words.
Lü Bu learned that this lady was very kind, her heart was so noble that she couldn't bear to abandon people or see them suffer. She's not a bully either. So, well, let just say, he hit the spot with his story.
Okay, he might be a bit of a cheat, but his life story is true! He didn't lie to her or dramatize it!
Lü Bu observed her reaction. When she seemed to be starting to hesitate, he took out his trump card. "Okay, if you really mind me serving you, that's fine. I'll try to survive as best I can, although I don't know how long I can last!".
He dealt the final blow, 'armored' with a sad smile. "I thank God, Buddha or any deity, because at least they let us meet! Honestly, I think I really have been given a gift by God, when I finally meet someone like you. Maybe … Maybe I was given a second chance? But ..." He sighed. "It's okay! I have to know my place, right? Just being able to meet you, I'm already grateful!".
Lü Bu again observed her. She's getting more and more restless now, she seems to be thinking and pondering.
Please, make it work!~~~
Please, make it work!~~~
Subconsciously, Lü Bu repeated the words silently, as if he was reciting a spell.
"Do you really have nowhere to go?".
"The cage has been my home for the past few years. I've even given up on my fate! I thought I would die there in disgrace ..."
Lü Bu wanted to applaud himself. Where did he get such great ideas from? So touching!
She still didn't say yes and Lü Bu didn't provoke her. However, he did put on a sad and resigned look. But when she still didn't answer, Lü Bu became anxious.
Why is she still silent?
Were his words less touching?
What else should he say?
But his intuition told him to stick with that sad, resigned face mask.
Then finally, as she gave Lü Bu the last spoonful of rice, she finally answered. "Alright, alright! You can come with me. But I can't guarantee that we'll always have a roof over our heads! I'll try my best to keep us to fed every day, though. I don't want to starve to death either!".
Sometimes, happiness is simple.
One more valuable thing that Lü Bu learned today.
"Eh, hold on! There are some conditions still ..."
Lü Bu raised an eyebrow. This cutie wants to apply some conditions? Fine! Bring it on!
He sat back quietly. "I'm listening!"
"First, no killing! Unless it's a life-or-death situation. Kill or be killed! At most, make the opponent faint ..."
"Or suspended animation? It's safer!".
"Tsk!".
Lü Bu raised both hands, surrendering. "Okay, you're the boss!". Just so you know, fainting, made by Lü Bu, is the same as near death experience, or in other words ... suspended animation, so, well, yeah ... Next!
"Second, no blood! I hate seeing wounds and blood! Gaping wounds with flesh that oozes blood, eww ... Just imagining it makes me dizzy and nauseous. Anyway back to the topic, the combination of the two means killing. I think this one is easy. No killing, means no blood. Simple!".
Lü Bu nodded, as a sign that he agreed with her, but at the same time he was thinking from his point of view. As a former warlord who had fought and won countless battles, Lü Bu disagreed with her opinion. On the contrary, according to him, enemies should be left with gaping wounds that bleed profusely, beheaded or cut off their hands or feet or other limbs, to ensure their death.
Looking at Lü Bu who is now looking lost in thought, she clarifies this 'no blood' rule. "This rule will stay so, unless all of a sudden, somehow I become a bloodthirsty vampire, do you understand?".
At her warning, Lü Bu felt that this lady in front of him could indeed read minds. Oh come on, how did she know that he was thinking otherwise? That more blood was actually their 'shield'. Like he said earlier, safer.
"Do you understand, huh, Mister?".
Since he doesn't want to argue with her, so, no blood it is!
"Yes, Boss!".
"Good! And now the third, this is the most important, pay attention!".
Lü Bu was curious. What's that? Obeying her order, he was seriously paying attention and listening intently.
However, she became nervous, even though she herself told him to pay attention. She cleared her throat before continuing. "Okay, rule number three is ... is ..."
"Is ...?" Lü Bu tried to encourage her. Even though he doesn't understand either, why is she suddenly nervous and stuttering.
"Okay, alright, here we go! So, number three is ... no touching!".
Lü Bu gaped "O-okay?".
"Hey! Don't you dare laugh at me! This rule is important! I mean, if we do go out together, then, you and I ... So you see ... You're a man, I'm a woman ... I mean, you're a grown man and I'm a grown woman and we go on an adventure together, just the two of us ..."
Has he told his opinion, about how adorable she is? Oh yeah, looks like he has.
He actually wanted to enjoy the scene in front of him longer, where she frantically but cutely explained the rules about this 'no touching'. She thought that Lü Bu was a teenager who had just come of age and couldn't control his own desires! Or maybe she's just entering adulthood? How old is she? Judging by her face and appearance, Lü Bu guessed that she couldn't be more than twenty years old.
"So, Mister, you see ... eh ... Can't you just understand right away? I'm embarrassed to explain!".
"Okay, I got it! No touching!".
She smiled in relief.
"Unless ..." She immediately glared and Lü Bu grinned. He likes to tease her.
"Unless you're in danger! Or in need of help! How can I protect you if I'm not allowed to touch you?".
She seemed to think for a moment. It made sense, so she nodded in agreement. "Alright, with exceptions it's fine! But beyond that, no touching! Violating means fines!".
Lü Bu was now leaning towards her. This conversation is getting more and more interesting!
"Fines? Now there's even a rule about fines? Hooo ... What's the fine?".
"Haven't thought of that yet!".
Thank goodness she has implemented the 'no touching' rule. Otherwise, he would have squeezed those two pink cheeks in front of him!
"Those are some terms and conditions if we go together! How? If you can accept all of that ..."
"Deal!".
Seeing that Lü Bu immediately agreed without asking much, she's now wide-eyed in surprise. "What, so soon? Are you sure? Don't want to think about it first?".
"What to think about? No killing, no blood, no touching! See? I already memorized it!".
She couldn't back down anymore when Lü Bu gave his large, wounded palm for her to shake. It doesn't hurt anymore. In fact, everything feels beautiful now, he couldn't stop smiling.
She shook back Lü Bu's enormous, bandaged hand carefully. Doesn't it hurt anymore? She doesn't want to hurt him!
"I am Lü Bu!".
"Eugene. Nice to meet you!".
Lü Bu smiled. So her name is Eugene? Beautiful!
But a moment later, Lü Bu's brows furrowed. "Eugene? Your name is Eugene? How do you pronounce it? Yu-jin?".
"Yes. Why?".
Yep, as he expected. Yu-jin was one of the most powerful sub-generals he had ever killed. He was really very impressive to Lü Bu because of his tenacity. Even though he almost died, but he still fought to protect his master, though in the end he still had to die, torn in half by Lü Bu's halberd.
Lü Bu glanced at her. This Eugene also impressed him, a lot. And this time, he would not waste his second chance.
"Nothing! Well, Eugene, from now on, I will always take care of you!".
Oh, if only she knows, how serious Lü Bu is with what he just said! He kind of took an oath to himself, he would die for her! No condition!
Eugene bit her lower lip in amusement. Actually, in this ... strangeship between the two of them, who takes care of whom? Oh well, never mind! If God wills, everyone deserves a second chance in life.
Him and her too.