Disclaimer : I don't own Dynasty Warriors.
The storyline below is not in the same order as the original historical story, as well as in the novel "Romance of The Three Kingdoms".
Apologize for any grammatical errors.
Lü Bu is very, very happy and excited. He never imagined that he would still be given a second chance for introspection and self-correction.
Just getting a second chance is already a blessing. However, it seems that his blessing is not only that. He also got a 'bonus' apparently, hopefully he didn't get it wrong, he was also given a 'companion', namely a cutie, though chatty lady, to help him become a better person.
If likened to ... is like a rainbow that appears after the rain. Clear sky, fresh air, colorful life like a rainbow.
"So what's the plan? Where are we going now?".
"Sleep! It's getting late!". But then she hastily added while glaring and hissing, thinking Lü Bu would be frightened by her warning. "In a different room!".
Amused, amused and amused. Lü Bu even thought, did God accidentally spill too many cute and adorable potions on her when He created her?
"But before that, I want to ..."
She sounded a bit hesitant to say it, so Lü Bu raised an eyebrow. "Yes? Just say it!".
Huh, what? Why was she glaring at him now? What did he say? Did he say something wrong? Though, what he meant was, he was ready to help if what she wanted to do was beyond her abilities. Like punching someone, for example?
"Haish! Do I need to answer it? It's something we haven't done today!".
Hhh ... and now she's playing guessing games. Hello! Did she think he was a mind reader like herself?
Hmm? Wait a minute! What was the 'hint' again? Something they haven't done today? Uh ... Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Really? No, he meant, didn't she just make those ridiculous 'no-touching' rule? Then why so contradictory ... Does she think what he thinks too?
"Auh, look at your face! You must be misinterpreting what I mean, right?".
Lü Bu immediately looked at her. This time he was very sure he didn't say anything. Besides, he couldn't possibly discuss this with her, could he? Then how could she know ...?
"It's not hard to guess, actually. Especially when your whole face says it plainly! You don't have to be a psychic or have a sixth sense for that! And nope! I don't think what you're thinking!".
Since he didn't know how to answer, Lü Bu just dared to ask. "Hooo ... And what was I thinking, hmm?".
But cleverly, instead of answering Lü Bu's trick question, Eugene parried it with an answer. "I mean take a bath!", which turned out to be successful because Lü Bu really didn't think about that.
"I don't know about you, but today I haven't bathe. My body feels so itchy ... sticky ... euw!".
Body? Itchy? Sticky?
Actually, nothing wrong with her words just now, in fact she sounded so innocent. However, somehow spontaneously and unexpectedly it made his imagination and his ... 'little brother' wake up from his long ... hibernation.
What the ...?
Are you serious?
But, why all of a sudden? This is definitely not the time!
Okay fine, he knows he hasn't been with women in a long time, especially with a fun and exciting one like Eugene, but please ... not now!
"Aah, I was imagining how nice it would be to have a warm bath. You know, usually at home, I soak myself until I fall asleep in the tub!".
Soak ... Warm water ... Fall asleep ... Her dreamy state ...
"And if that's the case, father usually scolds me, because he's the only one who can carry me out of the tub, though sometimes he's busy working or having guests. And no, if you think I'm naked in the tub, then no. I'm still wearing a thin dress. Hey, I also still have etiquette! Even though it was my own father carrying me, but I'm already an adult. I'm also embarrassed to be, uh, naked in front of him!".
Whoaa! Danger, danger!
Explosion countdown starts in three, two ...
"STOP!" Lü Bu raised both his hands. "Stop! Stop it! Okay, I got it, so, just ..." He took a deep breath. "Stop!".
Dear God, have mercy on him! Give him hundreds or thousands of enemies to face alone on the battlefield, instead of one young girl, who innocently, Lü Bu even suspects, is unaware of what she has just told him. Make her stop talking! Now!
Eugene, who wasn't thinking out of the context, became annoyed that Lü Bu interrupted her reverie of taking a nice warm bath!
Tsk! Doesn't he know how nice it is to soak in the warm water? But then, after watching him carefully, now that she was the one who misinterpreted him. She became regretful and felt guilty for being annoyed with him. She thought, Lü Bu was like this because it must've been a long time since he had a proper bath, but he was too embarrassed to admit it or tell her.
Meanwhile with Lü Bu, he gasped for air, trying to calm himself and his now trembling 'little brother'.
'Fuck! Control yourself, Lü Bu!'~~~
He desperately racking his brains, looking for something else to think about, because he suddenly felt 'hot'.
Must be because he hasn't bathe as well since, uh ... When was the last time he took a bath? Don't know, he's forgot already. For God's sake, he was rarely fed, let alone allowed to bathe! And thanks to this cutie little missy, he, The Mighty Lü Bu ... now he's ...
'Oh geez! Think about something else, Man! Imagine ... Cao Cao making out with Zhang Liao! Or-or Liu Bei with Guan Yu! Or ... Eww … Liu Bei making out with Guan Yu? How disgusting! But hey, looks like his ploy worked! See?! Now he is no longer thinking about ...'
"Alright, come with me! Let's take a bath!".
Lü Bu immediately looked at her with another surprise "Excuse me?".
"I just asked the innkeeper, where is the nearest bathhouse. Let's go there to take a bath!".
Lü Bu took deep breaths repeatedly, struggling hard to calm himself. Apparently this is more difficult than he expected.
"Can't you just ... go by yourself?" Actually, he's whispering hoarsely now.
Unfortunately she didn't notice. No wonder actually.
"I guess I could. But it's a public bath, where men and women are just separated by, I don't know, some kind of curtain or thin walls? Or are they mixed together?".
She's goddamn hell scary! She even discussed this with him, as if they were just having chit-chat about clothes or makeup between girls. Lü Bu was now absolutely sure, it was certain that she was still 'pure and innocent'.
"So, I thought, let's go together! You can take a bath at the same time! Plus, we can also guarding each other too, right? Who knows, there's a perverted snoop? But don't gouge out their eyes! Remember! No blood!".
And instead, casually grabbed Lü Bu's hand, which was already super tense, chilling and shivering, the hairs on his hands are all standing up.
Panic, Lü Bu immediately jerked Eugene's hand away, by raising both his hands up-high, which took her by surprise.
"No touching! No-touching!".
Now, who would have thought, the rules he thought were ridiculous before, would actually be the savior of his remaining honor, pride and dignity.
Lü Bu studied the young girl in front of him, worried if she could read what was on his mind from his reaction just now.
She did look surprised. But after gawking and blinking for a few seconds, she's now scratching her hair nonchalantly. "Oh, you're right! I forgot the 'no touching' rule!".
Lü Bu patted his forehead. Didn't she make the rules herself? And now she had forgotten?
"Oh come on, hurry up! My hair is itching!".
Actually Lü Bu didn't want to come. He needed to calm himself down first, so it was best if he wasn't around her for a while.
But, knowing that the bath is a public bath, he can't help but come along. He had to protect her in case there was a perverted snoop, just like she said. Heh, if there really is a perverted bastard there later, he'll be happy to provide extra services for free. After all, he also needs to release his desir ... He meant, his excess energy!
And here they are now.
Eugene was right, a warm bath is amazing!
Although the bathhouse is small and not very luxurious, but for Lü Bu, it is more than adequate. Imagine, the last bath he did was with a piece of smelly wet sponge, with just a drop of soap, for dishwasher, maybe. Very disgusting!
Thankfully they came when it was late, so the bathhouse was quiet, there were no other visitors besides them.
Soaking in warm water, in a quiet comfortable atmosphere, with a full stomach and ... a beautiful young lady.
Lü Bu took a deep breath. He never thought that life would be so much more peaceful and enjoyable than when he was a warlord.
No enemies.
No traitors.
No killing and blood, just as she wanted.
He used to think that throne, position and power were everything. And all of that is proven through war. The winner is the strongest and thus, automatically, becomes the owner of everything, but ... but ...
"Mister? Hey! Hey, Mister, wake up!".
Hmm?
Felt someone shake his arm, half-consciously Lü Bu opened his eyes. Since when has he been asleep?
The first thing he saw was Eugene's face, grinning widely at him.
This was the first time Lü Bu had seen Eugene this close, and maybe it was because he was still half asleep, but, was she really this beautiful?
She … How Lü Bu explain it, her beauty was different from the girls Lü Bu had known all along. Not the seductive type, of course. Her beauty was pure and innocent, like a goddess. An ethereal beauty.
Yes, maybe she is even more beautiful than Diao Chan! Where have his eyes been all this time?
"I told you, didn't I? A warm bath was great, you might fall asleep! How? Feeling refreshed now? Anyway, since it's getting late and the bathhouse is about to close, the bathhouse grandma just told me to wake you up. Go get dressed! You can continue your sleep at the inn!".
Wait a minute, something seems odd ...
"Hiihhh!" After realizing what was odd, Lü Bu immediately shrieked like a girl, then crossed his stout arms to cover his broad, bare chest.
"Eugene! This ... This is the men's bath!".
"Yah? So?".
"I'M NAKED!" No need to explain at length, just get to the point.
"Ah, I didn't see it, really! After all, Mister, if you want to cover something, it's not your chest!".
Then she just walked away with a small chuckle, Lü Bu didn't even have time to cover his "little brother".
God must be joking with him! Maybe she really is as beautiful as a goddess, but she's nosy as fuck.
Grumbling to himself, Lü Bu rose to his feet. It's really weird, actually, this isn't the first time he's naked in front of women, is it? But why did he feel … embarrassed in front of her? That he didn't want to look embarrassing in front of her? That kind of thing.
"Are you done yet? Is it still need a long time? You also still have to change your bandage, you know? You didn't forget to wash it, did you?".
All of sudden, her head popped out like a long-necked ghost, peeking into the men's bath, just as Lü Bu stood up gallantly and ...
"Eeh? Oopsie!".
Lü Bu didn't know if he should be embarrassed, irritated, or amused instead, seeing Eugene hastily pull her head back. This time he could catch a glimpse of the blush on her goddess's face.
"If I fall asleep, just wake me up, okay? I'm so sleepy!".
Hmph! Let Sleeping Beauty sleep! Yes, better so!
Since Lü Bu didn't answer, Eugene thought maybe he was annoyed with her because of those little 'incident' just now. She chirped again with her cheerful voice.
"Don't worry, I didn't see it! Plus, there's a lot of steam inside there, I can't see anything! I swear!".
"Why doesn't she just announce it with a giant mouthpiece, so everyone can hear her!" Lü Bu got dressed, while grumbling softly to himself because he was so embarrassed. Hopefully no one else hears them! But, secretly, he ended up chuckling as well. She's too cute!
When he finally finished and came out of the men's bath, Lü Bu couldn't help but smile again when he found the cutie waiting for him. But instead of sleeping, she was now happily chatting with the bathhouse grandma.
"Oh, are you done? Come, sit here! I'll change your bandage!" Eugene called out to him in her sweet, cheerful voice, while patting the cushion seat next to her.
Lü Bu didn't understand either, why he just obeyed when Eugene called him to go here and there. He's not her dog, geez! But still, he obediently came to his lady. Nobody comments!
"Here, drink this! Grandma made us hot ginger!". She gave Lü Bu a cup of hot ginger, before she gently and carefully started to change the bandage on his palm. "Careful, it might be very hot! Blow slowly before drinking!". As usual, Eugene said it without looking at him. She's still busy with her bandages. But since she was working faster now, in no time, Lü Bu's hand was wrapped neatly in a new clean bandage.
Lü Bu finally understood what made Eugene different from Diao Chan or the other girls he knew. She is very sweet and kind. The type of girl who is fun and easy to get along with anyone, even if she comes from a rich family. Even in retrospect, Diao Chan wasn't as friendly as she was. She's not as pleasant as Eugene.
What Lü Bu knew, girls who had 'served' lords or high-ranking knights, became arrogant and haughty. Not to mention the concubines and mistresses, as if they were already in the position of wives or queens. They became oppressive and only pretended to be nice and sweet in front of their masters.
"Hmm, Grandma, this is so delicious! The ginger spiciness taste just right. Not too sweet either. Perfect for drinking on a cold night like tonight!".
"Is that so?".
Lü Bu's eyes alternated between Eugene who was now enjoying her ginger drink and the old lady who was now smiling happily at her compliment.
See, this is what he means! She is ... sweet and adorable. Not to mention that her face is also beautiful and pleasing to the eye, so people feel at home, comfortable, just by being near her. They feel accepted and valued.
One weakness, she is really talkative!
But somehow, her chatty is ... magnetic. Lü Bu also didn't understand, how can a weakness also be so captivating? Don't know, but in short he seems to be bewitched by her and her witty, chatty personality.
The old lady then turned to Lü Bu "Young man, you really are lucky! You have a beautiful and sweet wife! Make sure you always take good care of her, hmm? Listen to this old woman's advice! Not all men as lucky as you, can get a wife like yours!".
Eugene and Lü Bu looked at each other without saying anything, but both had the same thought. This is the second time they are considered as husband and wife. Weird! Is this some kind of sign or something?
"I know I shouldn't be talking about this in front of your husband, but, if only you're not married, then I'd be happy to introduce you to my grandson!" She said while stroking Eugene's smooth cheek with her old, wrinkled hand.
O-okay? Eugene now glanced at Lü Bu in confusion. Thankfully, he got the message.
"It's getting late. You said you were sleepy. Let's go home!".
Acting like a doting husband, Lü Bu gently took Eugene's hand, making her glare, as if her eyes were saying 'no touching, no touching!'. But she couldn't do anything but obey, rather than later she'd be betrothed to the grandma's grandson.
Whoa, just a minute? Does that mean she indirectly agrees to be considered his wife?
Okay, so now which one is better? Confess that they are not husband and wife, but then there's a possibility that she will be arranged to her grandson?
Hmm ... Well, now that she thought about it, better if she supported 'her husband' acting.
"You're right! But Grandma lives alone, so she's lonely and I hoaamm ..." Wah, a lucky yawn! What an extraordinary coincidence that she yawned at such an opportune moment. Her acting is getting more convincing!
"Oh, my! Forgive this ignorant old woman! Your husband is right, Sweetheart, you look so tired. Go home and rest! I'm sorry if I held you back longer than I should have! Oh, just a minute!" The grandma then ran into her house as fast as she could.
For an old lady, grandma was still quite agile and fast. They waited maybe less than a minute, Eugene and Lü Bu even still holding hands without them noticing, before finally the grandma reappeared. She now brought two ripe, reddish-green mangoes that looked very tempting and mouth-watering.
"Here, take it! I bought it yesterday at the market. It's ripe. It's very sweet and delicious!".
"Auh, Grandma, please don't! Didn't you buy it for yourself? Why did you give it to us?".
"Take it, take it! It's rare to find mangoes this delicious! Somehow, when I see your face, I remember this mangoes. They are really sweet and rare!".
Well, now she's even likened to mangoes. Although, what the grandma actually meant was to praise her. By the way, unlike usual, this time, Eugene didn't know what to say, so she glanced back at Lü Bu, asking for his support. Unfortunately, 'her husband' is now looking down. From his slightly twitching shoulders, Eugene could tell, he was laughing too.
"Ah, you two, what a sweet, lovely young couple! At what age did you get married? Oh well, never mind, I'm babbling again! Alright I won't hold you back any longer, I have to rest too! Darling, next time if you have time, come and visit me again, okay? It's late! Take care on your way back home!".
After the bathhouse grandma closed the door, Eugene still stood dumbfounded holding the mangoes that old lady had given her.
"Here, let me bring these fruits for you!" Lü Bu, who has now finished laughing, takes the mangoes from Eugene's hand who is looking at him with a face that is a mixture of sadness and annoyance. "What? What have I done?".
"It's not you! I was just thinking, where is the grandson? Why did he leave his grandmother alone?".
"Well, maybe he has to work out of town or something? Not everyone is lucky, being born into a financially well-off family".
"Hmm..." Eugene didn't answer anymore, she just nodded as she started to walk.
"By the way Eugene, what was this fruit called? Does it taste good?" This was the first time Lü Bu had seen it. From the appearance and color, this fruit looks delicious and tempting. Mango was indeed a rare fruit at that time.
As the daughter of a rich man, of course Eugene knew and had tasted mangoes. However, being a picky eater, mangoes aren't on her list of favorite fruits, so she's not too tempted by them even when they're ripe.
"Hmm? Oh, it's called mango. It's sweet and delicious. Sometimes it smells good too, though not all of it. But I don't really like it. You can have it all! Tomorrow I'll peel it and cut it for you!".
Perhaps there was nothing wrong with her words. Yes, she also said it nonchalantly while keep walking. However, somehow all of sudden, Lü Bu misunderstood and misinterpreted.
This Eugene, didn't she notice that she just said she would peel and cut this fruit for him? Isn't that the same as a wife serving her husband? And indeed if he looked back, Eugene never got angry, protested, or even just corrected when people thought of her as his wife, though it happened many times.
Poor Lü Bu. He was confused by strange feelings and thoughts that he had never felt before. Yet the answer is very simple.
He's in love.
But ... It can not be, can it? Can you just fall in love this fast, with someone you even just met? Someone ... you have never knew before? That's impossible!
"What's wrong? Why are you just standing there? Mister? Ey? Did you pass out standing up?".
But a second later, Eugene chuckled.
"What is it?" It was Lü Bu's turn to ask her, he also smiled in amusement.
"Mister, do you know, you were standing there like a fierce giant statue, and yet, you're holding mango in each of your hands, I ... No, I can't ..." And suddenly she burst out laughing, as if something had tickled her.
It wasn't that Lü Bu forbade her to laugh, he himself liked to hear the sound of her laughter and in fact, her laughter was contagious, Lü Bu couldn't help but also chuckle with her. But, hello, it's late at night, and she's laughing like a maniac instead.
This witty girl must be stopped and Lü Bu knows, it's not easy to stop once you burst out laughing. It takes effort and, he's not gonna lie, stomach cramps. And if he looked at her face now, she had reached the stage where her stomach was cramping, but sadly she still couldn't stop laughing.
Lü Bu took a deep breath. First he should be able to control himself, before he finally approached her.
"Stop, stop! You stay where you are! Don't come any closer! Ouch! Ouch my stomach!" She panted struggling to catch her breath while clutching her cramping stomach. "Okay! Okay, okay, okay!". Not only her stomach hurts, now Eugene is also wiping her tears.
"I don't understand. What's so funny?". In fact, she even laughed at him! What the ...
Eugene glared at him. Her laughing nerves are super sensitive right now, her stomach and face are already stiff from cramps! Yet this Lü Bu is provoking her instead! "Don't ... say anything! Gosh! Let me breathe first!".
While gasping for air, this lovely Eugene who loves to talk, started chirping cheerfully. "Nothing funny, actually. But for some reason, I suddenly became very amused when I saw you just standing holding those ... mangoes ... " And she immediately fell silent when she realized that now Lü Bu was towering right in front of her.
Very closely.
Wow, he's really big and tall. Very manly!
She was only as high as his waist. Well, maybe as high as his belly button, up a little.
But hey! This is no time to be amazed, Eugene! Wake up! Remember, no touching!
Hmm? Wait a minute, wait a minute! Is this just her feeling? But why did she feel like she was leaning more backwards? In that case, that meant … this manly man in front of her … was leaning toward her even more?
"Uh, Mister?".
Eugene tried to call him, but Lü Bu didn't answer. He's instead, eh, daydreaming while staring at her ... lips?
Impossible! She must've seen it wrong! It's already night so she can't see clearly.
"Mister! Hey, Mister? Err, Lü Bu?".
Lü Bu didn't even listen anymore. With his gaze literally only on her lips, Eugene is sure, by now Lü Bu's mind must have drifted off to ...
Drift to where?
'Eugene dear, think of something to save the chastity of your lips! And please not with your kung fu! It's just like you're fighting steel-armored concrete!'~~~
Fine, she had no other choice! Don't judge her!
"HAAAH! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! HAAAHHH!".
Did it work? Too bad she already brushed her teeth. Ah, shit!
Eugene waited, while Lü Bu remained petrified. Seems like it worked! From the look in his eyes, his ... senses are slowly returning.
Perhaps because she was too tense, her stomach suddenly became gassy. Wah! This is called a golden opportunity! Definitely not to be missed! Without further ado, Eugene then burps as loudly as she can in front of him, without being covered by her hands.
"Uh-hikk! Eergh! Oh, sorry! My stomach suddenly feels bloated!" Eugene said as casually as possible while nonchalantly wiping her lips. She was deliberately acting as disgusting as possible, so that this man in front of her, lost his, uh, passion, interest and appetite? Well, that kind of thing.
Yep, Lü Bu has returned to his senses, completely.
Yet he remained standing still, taking a breath, calming himself down.
Was he disgusted with Eugene who just burped so disgustingly in front of him? Nope!
He had even guessed that Eugene would do 'something' to protect herself, and in fact, protect him too from the regrets he would never be able to redeem for the rest of his life if that happened.
He wasn't angry, he wasn't mad at her, no. He was angry with himself!
What was he just about to do to her?
Please don't tell him he was just about to do something obscene to her! Then what was the difference between him and that perverted bandit?
But, what's important now ... is her.
How did she react?
What does she think of him now?
Is she afraid of him?
Does she hate him?
Does she not want him to approach her again?
Is this ... the end?
"Mister ..." She called out hesitantly and Lü Bu immediately looked at her. He wasn't sure what to do or say, for it was obvious she flinched a little when Lü Bu's eyes met hers.
"Uh, is it ... safe now?". She hesitated for a moment. "Do you need ... a friend? A lady friend?".
Lü Bu was still silent. He was still considering how he should answer her. Eh, this is really weird! He had never been this awkward when it came to matters of desire. Ouch, what did he just think?
It seemed that he instinctively really wanted to protect her from anything and everything, even himself! So subconsciously, he slowly reprogrammed his brain and mind to match her thoughts. He wants to be … a man who worthy to be by her side.
Fortunately he's not a type of man with excessive passion or desire in matters of intimacy with women. But the thing is, he's still a man.
But, since Lü Bu wants to stay with her so bad, so for her, he will tame, not just control, but he will tame himself! Eh, he sure can!
Meanwhile Eugene, who was waiting for Lü Bu's answer but he was still silent, she hastily added so that Lü Bu wouldn't misunderstand her question just now.
"What I mean with a lady friend is ... Eh, I know you know what I mean! But, it wasn't me! It's definitely not me!".
"Eugene!" Lü Bu raised both his hands as a sign that he was submissive to her. He sighed before continuing. "Look, I know what I did was wrong. I have no excuse. I'm ... I'm sorry!".
If only Eugene knew ... She was the first and only person, who made Lü Bu, willingly lower his head, admit his mistake and even voluntarily apologize to her.
"Well ..."
Lü Bu glanced at her as Eugene replied in a light tone of voice instead of being annoyed or sulky.
Yes, he's still scared, dammit! He was really worried about how Eugene would think of him after this incident! About what she was going to say ...
"Come to think of it, you didn't break the 'no touching' rule, so ..."
"Still, I scared you!".
"Mmm ..." In her signature cute style, Eugene scratched her hair. How did she explain it, so that this thing was over quickly. She already wants to stretch out in bed!
"Mister, let's just end it, hmm? I'm sleepy! I want to lie down!" Eugene is now whining like a child who is cranky from sleep. "Fine! If this makes you feel any better, well, let's just say we're even now!".
Lü Bu blinked in confusion. What is she talking about? They're even now? In terms of what?
"May I ask ..."
Eugene knows, when she gave the clue, then she have to explain. She was too actually uncomfortable to say this but ... Oh, fuck it! She's sleepy, she doesn't want to think anymore, so, let just get straight to the point!
"The incident at the bathhouse, which happened twice, ahh ... I lied to you! For that I also apologize! That's why I said we are both even now!" Eugene emphasize the word 'twice', hoping that Lü Bu would get it without her going too far into details.
At first, Lü Bu's face was full of questions. But it didn't take long, when Lü Bu started to gape in shock, Eugene quickly continued. "Feel better? Let's go back to the inn then!".
What a good time to take a few steps forward without him. She needed a brief moment to breathe after 'being forced' to confess her, uh, sin. Eh, but look on the bright side! Finally she had honestly confessed her sin! No more regrets or embarrassing secrets to keep!
Lü Bu didn't know what to do or say anymore. He was really turned head over heels by her!
It wasn't that he was annoyed or irritated with her because she had 'seen' him! Heck, he wasn't even that upset after finding out Eugene was lying to him. Surprisingly, Lü Bu can understand, maybe she is embarrassed.
Thinking for a moment what he should do, oh well, looks like this cutie isn't a drama queen either, so Lü Bu just casually catches up with her. He couldn't help but chuckled though.
"Eugene?" Lü Bu tried to call her in as normal a tone of voice as possible, while testing his opinion.
"Hmm?".
How relieved and happy he was when Eugene answered him in her usual nonchalant voice. Lü Bu only needed one word from her, to know his guess was right!
Eugene is not a troublesome drama queen who likes to seek attention by sulking like flirty girls. Plus, Lü Bu was now in front of her, they were walking side by side now, Eugene's face now really showed that she wasn't interested in discussing anything. Maybe because she was sleepy like she just said earlier. But Lü Bu wanted to tease her instead.
He cleared his throat before continuing. "Eugene! I think something needs to be added to our ... 'adventure rules'" Lü Bu made an apostrophe gesture with both his index and middle fingers, as he said 'adventure rules'.
Good grief! Now he even knows how to add gestures while talking!
"Ha? Adventure rules? What the hell is that?".
Haish!
"No blood, no fucking killing ..."
"Aah! You want to add a 'no fucking' rule? Okay, all right! Although there is a 'no touching' rule, but, mmm ... yah ... The clearer the better!".
Breathe Lü Bu, breathe!
Huh, wait! Why is this turn like this? This is not what he meant!
"I mean no seeing! 'No seeing' rule!". Apparently they are just the same. They both like to get straight to the point.
Lü Bu immediately added because now Eugene was looking at him like he was an alien. Wait, what are aliens?
"You see ... Today I was clearly at a disadvantage! Twice! And that, thanks to you!".
Eugene wasn't intimidated at all, even though now Lü Bu pretended to look fierce. Well, his face does look really scary every day.
"So that's why I think we need to add a 'no seeing' rule! How's that? I'm smart, aren't I?".
And just as Lü Bu was bragging in front of her, he thought Eugene would amaze and flatter him ...
"Though I really ... thank you for your input, but no seeing equals blind! That's a double disadvantages! I prefer the 'no fucking' rule!". Not only smart, Eugene also seems to have a surefire way to dodge and turn things around so that they side with her and mostly, success in silencing her interlocutor.
Lü Bu's now massaging the bridge of his nose.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm tired too! By the way, are we lost? Why haven't we arrived at the inn yet? Is it just me or ... I feel like we've walked longer than when we left?".
"Don't ask me! You're the one who showed me the way! I'm just following you!".
Ah, of course Lü Bu lied. For a veteran, especially since he was a warlord, finding a way and direction was not a difficult thing for him. He could memorize easily, even the most difficult and remote routes!
But, Lü Bu remained silent. Ha! Let this cutie be confused and a little panicked because she has misled them both!
However, it turned out that Lü Bu was still not worthy to be her opponent in terms of arguing.
"Is that so? Hmm ... Then, I'll leave it to you!".
Lü Bu raised an eyebrow, as a symbol of the unspoken question.
"I mean, I'm not good enough to find a way or direction, so, you, Mister …" In a witty manner yet without even the slightest fear, this cute lady in front of him is pointing at him with her index finger, made Lü Bu raise an eyebrow in amusement. "That's your job now! Aren't we companions? As companions, we should help each other, eh?".
Lü Bu rolled his eyes. Why wouldn't he be surprised if it ended up like this although, to be honest, he didn't expect Eugene's answer to be this simple either.
Simple yet ... smart? Making him unable to refute, Eugene even inserted a few words of 'compliment' to subtly persuade his ego to obey her!
"What? Come on, show me the way, I'll follow you from behind!".
Lü Bu stared at her in silence for a moment. Ha! He hasn't lost yet!
"One condition ... Allow me to hold your hand, no, listen to my explanation first!".
His lovely Eugene looked so adorable as she hastily closed her mouth, maybe to protest or nag at him, when Lü Bu now silenced her first. Wait, did he just unknowingly claim Eugene as his? Oh, whatever! After all she can't hear it either!
"E-ehrm! First, it's late now. There's no way I'd let you walk alone behind me! What if suddenly a bad guy appears and kidnaps you, ha? Aren't you scared? Second, if I tug on your sleeve again, then I'll be accused of harassing you by dragging you like a donkey again! You're not a donkey, are you?".
Turns out, being smart is fun too! Moreover this time, Eugene really looked at him in admiration.
"You're right! I have to admit, I didn't think about it! But how about I just walk beside you? I mean, no need to hold hands at all?".
"Well, that makes sense. But it would be safer if we joined hands! And before you hit me ..." Lü Bu took a deep breath before continuing. "If we join hands, then it's, err ... so to speak, it's a statement that we are ... we are ..."
Hmm, at this point Lü Bu became doubtful.
That we are ... what?
Yea! What are they?
Couple?
Lovers?
Husband and wife?
Brother and sister? Lü Bu sincerely hope, not this one!
Which idea is the most acceptable and suitable to this sweet little darling in front of him?
"Together?" But apparently, the brilliant Eugene has her own answer which is certainly more ... adequate.
Lü Bu clapped his giant palms together as if he was swatting a mosquito. "Exactly!".
"Fine, then!".
When Lü Bu gave her his right hand, Eugene blinked in disapproval.
"Wouldn't it be better if you gave me your left hand?".
Ha? Oh, ya! He forgot his right hand was injured and bandaged.
They had only walked a few meters hand in hand, when Eugene turned to him. "You don't mind if I sing?".
Without waiting for his answer, Eugene began to hum a little, instead of singing. It was unclear what she was humming, even though Lü Bu had maximized his hearing.
Lü Bu felt like he was holding hands with a little girl, she now seemed to be immersed in the song she was humming and started to subconsciously swing her hand that was holding Lü Bu's, back and forth.
He was ... intrigued by her! Very, truly, deeply.
Yes, that's probably the closest word to describe his current feelings and thoughts towards her.
She's like a powerful magnet, attracting anyone with great force, but without the slightest effort. She doesn't even seem to notice that she has an alluring aura and Lü Bu, he felt himself like a moth that couldn't help but be captivated by the shining light emitted so strongly by her.
Lü Bu actually wanted to take a walk with Eugene, hand in hand, a little longer. But, knowing that she was tired, so ...
"Here's the inn, Your Majesty!".
"Oh. Hah? We've arrived? But that's so fast! I thought we were lost so far far away!".
"You only took one wrong turn!".
Eugene glanced at him while lifting one corner of her lips again, how does she do that?
"And why didn't you tell me earlier, hmm? If you tell me, we don't need to get lost like this!".
"You're the one who took the wrong way, why blame me?".
"Ha-chih!" Sroott!
Although Lü Bu was surprised by Eugene's sudden sneeze, he was now more able to accept the situation that ... this was what makes Eugene, Eugene!
However, Lü Bu couldn't help but wonder, is Eugene really the daughter of a rich man? He meant, her attitude and demeanor were slightly different from the daughters of rich men, who were usually educated with high manners and definitely not careless. She's kinda, barbarian? But now when he saw that she was busy wiping her nose, instead of feeling disgusted, Lü Bu was worried that she might catch a cold.
"Okay, enough arguing! Let's go inside! It's cold here!".
But when Lü Bu again offered his hand, Eugene immediately raised both her hands as if she was dodging an attack. "Wooo! We've arrived now. The 'no touching' rule is back in effect! Besides, my hands are dirty too, euh! Please step aside, Mister! I have to wash my hands!".
Lü Bu just looked at Eugene passing by in front of him nonchalantly, he shook his head while rolling his eyes.
Never had he met a woman like this Eugene. She is easygoing, funny, silly, indifferent, not a drama queen. Yet she is also caring and loving. She's also not a timid weak woman, who can only obey. But indeed she's a bit nosy ... and witty. She was even familiar with some swearing words and terms, Lü Bu was quite surprised when he found out!
Well, maybe the gods are now telling him to learn patience and parenting! Parenting a beautiful and adorable young woman instead of a child, which he would gladly accept and carry out!
Just as Eugene, followed by Lü Bu behind her, stepped into the inn, the innkeeper greeted them with a smile, then proudly announced the 'good news' to them.
"Ah, Mister and Madame! I've been waiting for you! I have prepared a nice room for you to rest! I've also put your things in the room!".
Lü Bu 's brow furrowed. He had indeed left his halberd and his armor, but, is this innkeeper strong enough to lift his super heavy halberd? He looks thin and so weak!
Hmm ... Now wait a minute! just now, the innkeeper called them Mister and Madame? Once again, they were considered husband and wife. But, hey, hold on! If the innkeeper thought they're husband and wife, then the room he's referring to ... Could it be ...
However, in contrast to Eugene, she completely ignored the innkeeper's words, or she just hadn't realized it yet. At that time she just really wanted to wash her hands.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, but later! Let me go to the bathroom first!".
Seeing Eugene running a little in her trademark style, the innkeeper approached Lü Bu and whispered to him.
"She's so cute! Where did you find a woman as cute as she is? Man, you're so lucky!".
Then in a friendly manner, the innkeeper nudged Lü Bu's arm with his elbow, one big mistake!
Still oblivious to his situation, as if pouring gasoline on the sparks that started to ignite, the innkeeper's eyes remain glued to Eugene's back. Two big mistakes now! And since Lü Bu didn't answer, when he turned to look at Lü Bu, his face immediately turned white as paper.
Fortunately at that very moment, Eugene came out of the bathroom. The innkeeper rushed over to her, seeking shelter, but Lü Bu was faster. He had caught the back of his collar to keep the innkeeper standing beside him and not come near her.
"Sir, you'd better provide guests with some soap and clean cloths in your bathroom ..." Eugene's eyes shifted alternately between Lü Bu, who smiled innocently at her, and the innkeeper, who now looked terrified, as if he was prey caught by his predator, before she ended up staring suspiciously at Lü Bu, who was now giving her his best innocent and confused face.
"What's ... going on? Gentlemen?".
"Nothing!" Lü Bu's answer that slid out of his mouth a little faster, causing Eugene to narrow her eyes, making her even more suspicious of him.
"Oh, alright! So here's the story. When you're in the bathroom, this innkeeper Sir, just complimented you cute ..."
The innkeeper glared at Lü Bu and Eugene was just about to blush, when Lü Bu continued. "But then he rushed over to you when you came out of the bathroom" Lü Bu shrugged his shoulders. "So I held him back. The End!".
What? He's not lying, is he! Eh, by the way, apparently he has also been infected by Eugene's ability, which is able to turn the tide in his favor.
Anyway back to the story, Eugene reacted just exactly as Lü Bu wanted. She got annoyed with the innkeeper, misunderstood, probably thought he was a pervert.
"Now what? What do you want me to do to him? I'm at your service!".
The innkeeper was now trembling with fear.
They're mad! Crazy married couple! He's in a deep shit!
Oh God, please save him!
"Put him down, what else?".
And instantly, God answered his prayer.
As for Lü Bu, he actually didn't agree with Eugene's orders. He wished he could vent some of his irritation on this innkeeper! Hmm? What's wrong with him? Isn't it obvious? Because the innkeeper thinks Eugene is cute and beautiful! It pissed Lü Bu off!
"That's it? Are you sure?".
Eugene just nodded, leaving Lü Bu unable to do anything but obey her and let him go. Note, he's still pissed off!
Uh but wait, wait a minute! Eugene is now walking towards him, walking to his side, he means, Eugene made him a 'brick wall', separating her from the innkeeper, whom she misunderstood and considered as a pervert. She looked doubtful, looking at him like a little girl innocently asking for his protection, she's even willingly 'hiding' behind his mighty big body now. Lü Bu's chest puffs with pride!
Lü Bu didn't misinterpreted. As a matter of fact for Eugene, for now she certainly trusted Lü Bu more than anyone else, although in truth still, they had only just gotten to know each other. She just hoped that this fierce, savage looking giant man, was really sincere to her, since she really didn't have anyone she could rely on right now, except him.
The three of them looked at each other without saying a word, it seemed that they were confused about where to start the conversation to end their awkward situation, until in the end, Eugene, no wonder she was the one who ended it, with a yawn.
"Oi!" Even with just a word from Lü Bu, the innkeeper already flinched, half shocked half scared.
"Y-yes, Sir?".
"What are you waiting for? Show us the room!".
"O-oh, right! This way please, Sir, Madame!".
Actually the innkeeper let Eugene and Lü Bu go first, but Lü Bu immediately interrupted, "After you!".
The innkeeper blinked a few seconds as he digested what Lü Bu had said, before finally agreeing without much questioning. "Okay! Then, follow me please! Watch your step! The wood is rotting!".
Lü Bu turned to the young lady behind him "Stay close to me!".
Eugene just nodded but she didn't answer. After making sure that she was safe behind him and, she also seemed to have nothing more to say, Lü Bu started walking, before he finally felt the back of his shirt being pulled slightly.
Lü Bu immediately turned his head. Without even looking, he knew the one pulling his shirt from behind was none other than Eugene. But that wasn't what he's concerned about. Lü Bu became worried as to why Eugene had suddenly tugged on his shirt. Is she scared or what?
Lü Bu then asked without voice, he only moved his mouth to form the word, "What?".
Not wanting to trouble him, Eugene chose to shake her head, although for some reason her instincts suddenly screamed at her, warning her.
Warn her for what?
Seeing Eugene's sudden strange behavior, without saying much, Lü Bu immediately gripped her hand tightly. This time he didn't even ask her permission first. Let her think what she wants!
For some unknown reason, she suddenly felt uncomfortable, Lü Bu didn't know why. All Lü Bu knows, he is here and he will protect her! And he reassured her by gently squeezing her palm with his jumbo thumb.
Surprisingly, Eugene didn't … protest at all? She just complied quietly, when Lü Bu started to pull her over, went to follow the innkeeper to ... ahem ... 'their room'. They were just walking towards the second floor when suddenly and unexpectedly ...
"Aaahh … Iiihh … Uuuhh …"
Eh?
What the hell is that?
With a mixture of panic, fear, embarrassment and confusion on his face, the innkeeper now turned to Lü Bu who was already glaring at him angrily.
Lü Bu turned quickly towards Eugene. "Cover your ears!" He ordered, before he finally cracked his knuckles, about to beat up the innkeeper who had received lewd guests at his inn. How despicable!
"Give me one good reason not to knock your teeth out tonight!".
"Hiiiiyy!" Poor innkeeper slowly shriveled his body as he raised his arm to shield himself from Lü Bu who was now walking towards him, although he didn't understand either, why Lü Bu was angry.
Yeah, he did rent out his room to uh ... maybe some flirty and lewd guests, but hey, that's not his fault, is it? Nor did he have the right to forbid the guests from ... having fun at his inn.
The innkeeper desperately casts a pleading look at Eugene as his last resort which fortunately, once again God heard his silent prayer, without even realizing it.
"Mister, it's alright! Just let him walk us to the room ..."
"The mooonnnn ... is so beautifooolllll toniiiittteee ... u-hiikk ..." Suddenly, a man who was heavily drunk and half naked came out of a room near where the three of them were standing. Too bad the he saw Eugene.
"Hooo? Oh my! Look who this is! The Moon Goddess herself! Eerrggh...!".
Seeing the drunkard begin to walk toward Eugene with a stagger and a sinister perverted smiling face, Lü Bu instantly forgot about the innkeeper. He swiftly stands in front of Eugene, blocking this pervert half-naked drunkard from approaching her. Hell, even just to see her!
"Owiiiiyyy? Who the hell are you? Why are you suddenly standing there? Get out of the way, you ugly monster! Don't block me from my Mu ... uuunnn Goddess!".
Lü Bu snorted. Moon Goddess my ass! He wanted to meet the Moon Goddess? Fine! Then Lü Bu will happily send him to meet his whatever goddess, quickly and ... for free. Though obviously, he doesn't guarantee that this drunkard will still be handsome when he meets his idol.
"Eyy ... are you deaf? I said ... get out of the way!". With his consciousness still remaining, even though it was only a few percent, the drunkard then fumbled into his messy kimono that seemed to just stick to his body, looking for something.
Lü Bu was getting more and more alert. Before he even pulled it out, Lü Bu already knew that this madman in front of him was looking for a dagger.
Lü Bu only had a few seconds to think what the best resistance he could put up. It's really not that difficult, actually. It's just, the young lady behind him hates seeing violence and bloodshed, Lü Bu could even hear she was already gasped in shock when her eyes caught the glint of the dagger in the moonlight.
"Don't be afraid my Dear! I didn't mean to hurt you. Lemme take care of this giant man first! Heyaaaa!" For someone who was heavily drunk, this man seemed to have a guts. Though he was staggering and armed with only a small dagger, bravely and without hesitation, he ran, intending to attack Lü Bu.
"Hiiiiyy!" The innkeeper immediately fled to save himself, but Eugene freezes in fear instead. Maybe because of the shock, she wasn't able to move her body one bit.
Lü Bu now only had about five to six seconds to think before the "storm", and he had to make the most of it!
"Eugene ..." He chose to warn her instead. His eyes narrowed even more, he was in a fighting stance. "Close your eyes now! Don't open it until I tell you to!".
Eugene didn't even have time to answer, when Lü Bu had already charged forward. He didn't want the fight to happen near her.
CLANG!
One hard slap from Lü Bu, sent the dagger out of the drunkard's hand, he now grabs the drunkard's neck and lifts him high above his head.
"Lemme go, you son of bitch! Asshole!" The drunkard was screaming and cursing at Lü Bu and he meant to punch him, when he bit his hand.
KRAUK!
"AKH!".
Enraged, Lü Bu threw the bastard who had just "tattooed" his palm with his teeth, into one of the "doors" of the rooms along the corridor, if that could be called a door, because obviously the door, which should be more accurately called crackers, shattered into pieces easily by the drunkard's body.
The sudden incident immediately sparked a commotion. The panicked screams that were followed by the guests of the inn, men and women wearing only skimpy clothes, which wasn't strange anymore, considering it was a "cheap" inn, rushed out of their rooms.
"What the fuck?" Asked one of the men with a hoarse, gruff voice. The smell of alcohol wafted clear from his mouth. On his chest, there's an enormous dragon tattoo.
With just one glance, Lü Bu immediately knew, they were a band of robbers or pirates. They all smell of alcohol.
"Bastard! Who do you think you are! How dare you attack any of us!" Snapped one of the men who had just realized that one of his comrades had just been knocked out by Lü Bu.
Not answering because he didn't want to take the risk, Lü Bu backed away slowly, his eyes never leaving the herd of alcohol-smelling men, who were all almost naked. He couldn't let his guard down or get stirred up now! He had someone he had to protect!
As he continued to walk backwards, one of Lü Bu's arms stretched back in an attempt to reach Eugene, ensuring that she was safely protected behind him. Unfortunately, before Lü Bu could reach her, the gang of criminals in front of him rushed forward to attack, as if scrambling to attack him, leaving Lü Bu with no other choice but to fight back, but this time he chose to defend rather than attack.
However, it was undeniable, even though his opponent this time was just a bunch of thugs, Lü Bu actually found it quite difficult since his concentration was divided. He repeatedly glanced at Eugene, making sure she was still safe.
Actually he wanted to shout at Eugene, telling her to run away from there and hide, but Lü Bu was worried that these losers would find out that he was with a girl, which would only be dangerous for Eugene. Her life and honor could be threatened again! That's why Lü Bu didn't do what he wanted to do.
However, even if these bastards were truly unmatched in both strength and fighting skills, they were numerous! It's also, not that they can't fight at all! Lü Bu, who this time chose to defend rather than attack, was clearly not in an advantageous position. Moreover, he's also guarding Eugene at the same time even if only from a distance.
Beside, why in hell is she still just standing there, still as stone? Get out of there! Run and hide!
Oh, how Lü Bu wanted his telepathy to reach Eugene, but alas, the one who got the message instead, was one of those ruffians, whose body was covered in tattoos, just as Lü Bu had feared.
"KYAA!".
Lü Bu's concentration was instantly lost when he heard Eugene shriek in surprise, causing one of the thugs to slash his back with a dagger. Lü Bu fell to his knees while groaning in pain. In front of him, he could see the bastard had now taken Eugene hostage. He carried a very large machete. An orange bandana is tied around his head, his body is fully covered in tattoos. He looked strong and dangerous, and also not drunk like the others. It seems he is the chief of the tribe.
"I've noticed that you are such kind of a war soldier. But you don't seem to be concentrating ... It's all because of this girl, isn't it?".
"Let me go, let me go! Hiiiyyy ... What are you touching, asshole?" Eugene starts to struggle when this tattoo guy starts to grope her and instantly Lü Bu could only see red.
"Ssh ... Calm down! A pretty girl like you shouldn't swear!".
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!".
No blood ... No killing ... No touching ...
The hell with those ridiculous rules!
Forgetting the pain in his back, with unfathomable strength and speed, Lü Bu charged forward. He grabbed Eugene and hid her behind his giant body. Too bad, he failed to reach the tattooed guy, though he was itching to break his neck.
The tattooed-bandana guy immediately jumped back when Lü Bu pulled Eugene away from him.
"That's fucking interesting! Obviously you're not just a random person, eh!" He brandished his machete, challenging Lü Bu.
"I am Gan Ning! A ferocious pirate. Come! Let us finish this!".
But Lü Bu didn't react at all. Instead, he seemed to choose to retreat slowly with very calculated steps.
"Oh come on! What are you waiting for, huh?". Impatiently, Gan Ning continues to provoke Lü Bu to attack him, while brandishing his machete. He tried to anger the giant man before him, whose figure was so mighty and valiant, like a warrior. He really can't wait to try out the greatness of this man who looks indeed like the god of war.
"Or ... Don't tell me you're actually scared? Your body looks jumbo, but you don't have guts, huh? Let's say, just like a little girl? Ooh, I'm scared, I'm scared ... This is soooo scary! Hahahaha ...".
'O yeah, that's it! It's finally out!' Gan Ning smirked with satisfaction when he saw Lü Bu's jaw started to harden and now he glanced sharply at him. If only looks could kill ...
And ... just like that. Gan Ning, once again had to swallow disappointment, as Lü Bu chose to ignore him again. It just ended without even starting!
Gan Ning squinted his eyes. 'How strange!' He thought. His instincts as a ferocious pirate, an ocean fighter who was highly respected by other pirates said, this man in front of him is definitely not a reckless man who has no guts! Gan Ning was absolutely certain, judging by his stature and aura, this giant man was definitely some kind of warrior. Even more! Warlord maybe?
Hmm? What's tha ...?
Unintentionally, Gan Ning caught the slender figure of a young woman, hidden behind this giant valiant body and he grimaced.
Ah, right! He had forgotten that young girl!
Wait a minute! Ah! Now he got it! This giant guy is trying not to be instigated, none other than because he wants to protect the woman behind him!
Lü Bu immediately panicked, but of course his face remained flat, as he read the look on the pirate's face in front of him.
All the cells in his body were ready to fight, when the damn pirate whistled with a mocking face and at that instant, he felt someone, boldly and unexpectedly, pulling Eugene away from him. Totally an unexpected attack!
But for Lü Bu, who was used to unexpected attacks, fuelled with his strong instinct to protect Eugene, his body automatically moved before he even understood what he was doing.
As for Eugene herself, not yet recovered from her shock because someone suddenly grabbed her arm, she was startled again when a large, stout and muscular arm stretched out right in front of her, tugging at the collar of the person who was pulling her hand and ...
"Whuaaaa!".
BRUAKK!
Throwing one of the poor thugs out, either through a window or through a 'crackers' wall, Eugene doesn't know.
Gan Ning and his fellow herd could only gape at the sight of one of their accomplices being thrown out so easily.
Then ... Lü Bu smirked.
O yeah. It is ... fucking interesting!