The moon was a glowing pearl in the sky, casting a silver blanket over the city below. The bedroom was bathed in the moon light and illumination coming from a distant streetlamp filtering in through the window. The silence was only interrupted by the occasional sound of passing cars, evidence of people still working the night shift.
He had finished showering and was now ready for bed, but his mind was still preoccupied with something.
It felt as though he was lost in a maze of worries.
Glancing at the person in bed, he watched the rhythm of the sheets moving in sync with her chest rising and falling. As he slid into the cool, smooth sheets, the rustling of the fabric filled the quiet room.
L lay on his back, contemplating whether or not to share his latest concern with the person sleeping next to him. He turned towards her, gently pulling her into his embrace. She stirred awake at his sudden movement, and the scent of the new soap she had bought filled her senses as she gazed up at her partner.
"I might have to meet the Japan task force in person if the FBI agents fail their mission," L whispered in a low voice.
She paused, and her slight nod was felt by L through his chest. The two of them fell into a silence, each lost in their own thoughts.
Since the day M had decided to come to Japan with him, she had been aware that he would take drastic measures to solve this case. If the FBI were to fail their mission, the Japan National Police Agency (NPA) would inevitably discover the mission's failure, potentially exposing the secret operation. This would undoubtedly anger the NPA, who had not been informed of L's instructions to the FBI.
The task force members would also feel the weight of this failure, causing heightened tension and anxiety within the group. They might begin to question their own abilities or the heightened danger of the investigation. It would inevitably led to possible resignations and loss of members. To reassure the remaining task force members of his continued commitment to the case and rebuild trust, L might need to meet with them in person, even though it is something he has never done before.
But this wasn't what L had promised her when he vowed to stay with her two years ago. With his hands holding hers, he had said in a soft, reassuring voice, "Stay with me. I'll work remotely to ensure our safety, and I hope that will allow me to spend more time with you in this life."
M had always understood that L's time and attention would never belong to her alone. After all, who could stop the detective's dedication to his cases? She had accepted the reality of sharing L with his work, but the thought of him risking his safety by meeting the Japan task force in person was a difficult pill to swallow. She knew that Kira had access to the task force's information, and the possibility of Kira being among them made her even more anxious.
As he looked at her, pondering in silence, he sensed that she must have already figured out the reason for his earlier comment and was worried. He tightened his embrace and took in the scent of her hair, then decided to bring up another topic to ease her concerns.
"I'm thinking of taking the alias 'Ryuzaki' when I meet them."
M lifted her gaze to meet his, but the memories that came flooding back with the name made her heart heavy and offered little solace. As she looked into L's eyes, she could see the pain mirrored in his expression, and she sought comfort in his embrace. Burying her head in his chest, she tried to hide her melancholy mood.
After a moment of silence, she struggled to find the right words, but eventually settled on a single sentence. M whispered it in a voice softer than usual, and L noticed the apprehension in her tone.
"'Ryuzaki' is a good alias."
It was a beautiful June day, with the sun shining and the air pleasantly warm.
L found himself once again sitting beside Meredith in her room, listening to her play a piece on the piano while sunlight streamed in through the window behind them, illuminating the sheet music and the space around them. Meredith had told him earlier that it was Tchaikovsky's Seasons Op. 37a, specifically the Barcarolle, representing June. As she played, she shared a fact with him.
"Did you know that there are twelve short character pieces for solo piano in Tchaikovsky's The Seasons Op. 37a, and each piece represents a different month of the year in Russia?"
L shook his head and returned to being fully engrossed in her masterful playing. He had learned that this piece was intended to evoke the feeling of a sunny day in June, and he could certainly feel the warmth and serenity that came with it. The opening notes were soft and gentle, like a breeze blowing through the air. As the melody progressed, it felt as though he was walking along a peaceful beach, the gentle waves lapping at his feet.
The main theme was full of charm and romance, with Meredith's right hand playing a captivating melody that seemed to dance above the harmonies of her left hand. As the piece moved forward, the melody became more complex, building to a dramatic climax that left L on the edge of his seat. But just as quickly, the music returned to its tranquil and dreamy main theme, the tension of the middle section melting away into a peaceful calm.
"I like it," he remarked.
"Everyone likes it. June was enormously popular," Meredith smiled in response.
A knock on the door interrupted their conversation, and it was Watari who greeted them upon opening it.
"Ah, children! I have been looking for you. I left the dessert tray in L's room, so why don't you go back there and enjoy your dessert? I will go and check on the other children."
As they returned to L's room, they were pleasantly surprised to find a slice of Japanese-style strawberry shortcake waiting for both of them. This version of the dessert differed from the traditional English version, which typically features a denser cake and a heavier cream topping. The sponge cake was light and fluffy, with layers of whipped cream and fresh sliced strawberries carefully arranged between them. The cake was then topped with more whipped cream and a juicy, ruby-red strawberry on the surface.
Strawberry season was in full swing, and they had been relishing in a variety of strawberry desserts. They had enjoyed the classic English Eton Mess, strawberry tart, ice cream, trifle, and English strawberry shortcake. As they savored their latest dessert, Meredith recalled the first time she met L when Watari had presented him with chocolate cake, but he had specifically asked for a strawberry cake instead.
"They weren't in season in winter," she said, spearing a juicy strawberry with her fork.
"I know, but I still asked for it, hoping against hope," he replied, finishing his own serving and taking a sip of his tea, his fingers pinching the cup's handle.
As they began clearing the plates and utensils, L spoke up, "Let me take care of these and bring them to the kitchen for Watari this time."
He stood up from the floor and made his way back to his computer, carefully navigating through the cables strewn across the floor. L collected his used cups and candy wrappers, intending to bring them altogether with the plates and utensils that they had just used. As he attempted to return to Meredith, he stepped over the familiar cables, thinking he knew where they all were.
However, he didn't anticipate what happened next.
When he stepped over the last cable closest to Meredith, he tripped and lost his balance. He tried to catch himself, but it was too late. In an attempt to avoid putting his weight on her, his limbs instinctively caged her, and he hovered just above her with a sharp pain shooting through his elbows and knees where he had landed. Despite the discomfort, he was grateful that he hadn't caused any harm to her.
The cups clattered on the floor beside them.
For a few seconds, the room was silent.
They both were stunned, frozen in place. After a moment, L quickly scrambled to his feet and apologized for the mess.
"Sor-Sorry…I didn't mean it," he stuttered.
Meredith remained frozen in place, but she tried to come up with terms, "It's..it's okay, it's just an acciden- "
Before she could finish, a rumbling noise filled her head, accompanied by high-pitched, piercing screeches that caused her heart to pound in her chest and her pulse to throb in her neck.
She thought she saw a figure suddenly overlap L's face when he fell on her.
A face she had tried so hard to resist recalling, but one she could never forget.
As the screeches in her head grew louder, she tried to suppress them by reminding herself that she was safe.
When Watari took her hand and walked out of the court, she squeezed his hands and was determined to start a new life, and never look back. She had managed to fight off the flashback memory for the past nine months at Wammy's, but now they seem to start consuming and drowning her.
Her body began to tremble uncontrollably.
The air felt heavy and humid as if the emotions in the room were thickening the atmosphere, causing her breath to come in short gasps. The trembling soon ceased when a choked-back sob broke the silence in the room - the kind that catches in your throat and refuses to be released.
L doesn't need to be the one to catch me.
Meredith was anxious and fearful of her emotions distressing L, and struggled to reassure him that she was okay. But no words could be voiced, and she was losing her composure.
Nothing had been fixed, and no wounds had been healed.
She had stored every pain she had experienced within her, waiting for an opportunity to break free from her body. And in that moment, it did.
The tears emerged fast, unable her to hold back.
At first in a trickle, then in a torrential downpour that blurred her vision and soaked her face. Each convulsive sob shook her shoulders, and she quickly covered her face with shaking hands, not wanting L to see her expression. She had been taught to keep a calm and collected exterior, to hide what was going on inside. But now, it was impossible for her to hold back.
L was at a loss.
He was familiar with her reserved tone, calm expression, and soft smile, as if she had mastered the art of concealing strong emotions, and was capable of controlling every aspect of her demeanor, every subtle movement of her facial muscles. But he had never witnessed such raw emotion from Meredith before, and he struggled to find the right words or actions to offer her comfort.
Should he go out and seek help from Watari? However, he had no idea where Watari was located in the orphanage, and it could take a considerable amount of time to find him. He couldn't bear to leave Meredith alone in her current state.
As he stood there, feeling helpless, his mind raced, trying to think of what Watari would do. or what he could do to ease her pain. His thoughts turned to the way Watari comforted him. Whenever L felt vulnerable, whether from the nightmares that haunted him or the pain of his past, Watari would hold him tightly without saying a word, simply patting his back gently. His embrace was warm and reassuring, with a scent that was a blend of freshly ironed clothes and his cologne, and had always provided him with temporary relief.
It's the only way L knew to find strength, to empower himself and endure everything that haunted him - the past memories that carved themselves deeply into his soul and body.
L took a deep breath, hoping that his mere presence would be enough to ease Meredith's pain and bring her some semblance of peace. He knelt down beside her, wrapped his arms around her, and held her gently, offering the same sense of security and comfort that he had received from Watari.
He could feel her body shaking against him, and finally her sobs were audible, and turned into cries. She muffled them as she buried her face into his shoulder, her tears soaking into his shirt. Her arms hung limply by her side, as if all her strength was focused solely on crying. The cries then turned into muted screams, as if the pain and sadness were being expelled from the deepest depths of her soul, escaping as tears from her eyes and as screams from her mouth.
L was afraid that her cries might cause her body to break apart, so he held her even tighter, trying to steady her shaking body as if his embrace alone could prevent her from shattering into pieces. Her arms finally found strength and held him in return, as if she had found solace in his embrace.
Gradually, her cries softened and turned back into sobs, and grew quieter until the room fell silent once again. She was exhausted from emptying her emotions and exposing her vulnerability. Her body and arms hung limply in L's arms as she panted. The only sounds left were the whirring fans from the computer in the room, with L still holding her.
They stayed like that for a while, until L could no longer bear the numbness in his legs. He gently adjusted his posture from kneeling to spreading out his legs, and then realized that she had fallen asleep in his arms. Slowly, he leaned back on the floor, allowing her to rest her head on his chest.
Although tear tracks were still visible on her cheeks from all the crying, she now had a peaceful expression, as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She was finally able to find some relief, and so was L.
L never knew the full extent of what Meredith had been through.
Author's note:
Recently, I've been feeling anxious about my OC turning into a Mary Sue in my fanfiction. The motivation for writing my own story came after encountering an idealized version of L's partner that appeared too perfect, almost saint-like. Although this figure did not appeal to me personally, as a fan of L, I had always found the concept of him having a romantic relationship with a female OC quite intriguing.
It's no surprise that L's partner is a brilliant mind like him, as effective communication is crucial in their demanding careers. It's clear that she fully supports him and his work, as it takes a strong and understanding partner to endure such a lifestyle. But that could easily result in a Mary Sue…
(In terms of romantic relationships, I am aware of the popular genre of LxLight, but portraying them as lovers is difficult for me. The dynamic of their relationship as friends and rivals is the most I can accept.)
To ensure that my character is not becoming a Mary Sue, I am making sure that she has her struggles and challenges in her career, past and personal life (and also L's), consistent with the era [L's birth (1981.10.31), OC's birth (1983.1.2), I made some adjustments. And the Kira case (2006, according to the Japan live-action movie)] and confidentiality policies of Wammy's House.
I have already completed drafts for the next two chapters, and they primarily delve into Meredith's past rather than L and Meredith's relationship. However, I will compensate for the shift in focus by incorporating additional passages related to the Kira case.
Any comments and feedback are appreciated.