Alright, another day, another opportunity to make a quick buck...I mean eris. Still getting used to some of the terminology here.

Anyway, the last quest the girls and I went on went surprisingly well for once. Even if I had to lie about the specifics of how it went down, it was still ultimately a net gain on our end. But, of course, that wasn't enough. We were going to need a lot more dough if we wanted to make ends meet, and Aqua's arts & crafts just weren't cutting it lately. World domination ain't exactly a cheap business venture y'know.

So, with that in mind, I studied the quest board for something decent in terms of both workload and profit. I finally won back the rights as leader to choose any and all future quests after a painfully long debate with Aqua. Seriously, you give that woman an inch and she'll take a mile.

"Let's see what we got here…" I muttered to myself in concentration. "'Carrying luggage for a visiting nobleman'? Hmmm...sounds like demeaning grunt work. But the pay does look good. Plus, I can always get Darkness and the JackBots to do most of the heavy lifting for me. And who really cares if this gig turns out to be degrading? I've done more for less."

"Yeah, I bet you have, little man!"

When will people learn to butt out of other people's one-sided conversations?

That jab came from the table closest to the board. It was your generic stock group of adventurers. There was a raven-haired archer wearing a blue jacket, a wizard in a green jacket with a racoon tail that I couldn't tell was fake or not, a Crusader who looked like he was trying to be the next Rambo, and that blonde teen in the red jacket who was crying about tomatoes on the day of Beldia's death.

Hey, I never said anything about their appearances or backgrounds being generic.

"I heard that, you know," I informed with a tight frown.

"Oh, I know," Tomato Boy replied smugly. "That's because I wanted you to hear it. I mean, you're seriously considering taking on a luggage-carrying quest of all things? Dude, c'mon, you're in a party full of top tier babes with advanced classes! Why can't you take on a more challenging and worthwhile quest, huh? You're just dead weight holding the rest of your party back. Ain't that right, Adventurer?"

Tomato Boy's blue jacket counterpart laughed along with him. And while the green jacket girl and rugged Crusader tried to be professional by not openly joining in on the diss fest, they were definitely holding back from snickering.

I felt my fists balling up like they had a will of their own. This wisenheimer didn't know a damn thing about me. He doesn't have the right to mock the ruler of the universe!

Settle down, Jack, you've gone through your whole life being the butt of everyone's jokes. You should've developed thicker skin by now. Doesn't mean it hurts any less, though…

But, as of the current moment, I had no rebuttal. I was still stuck with the generic Adventurer class, the one that's looked down upon for its slow level-up rate and debuff to all skills outside of its class. I've yet to meet the Level cap needed to make the switch over to a class that's more brag worthy, i.e. Battlesmith.

Besides...the guy's not totally wrong about my teammates. Sure, they make me want to tear out my hair, but they do hold advanced classes that overshadow mine. If coordinated correctly, the girls can be utilized for evil, but that doesn't cover up the fact that I'm still the weakest link in my own team. So, once again, I have no legit comeback...

That didn't stop me from trying though.

"O-Oh yeah!? Well…at least I have the highest IQ in the guild! I'm so smart, I build robots just for the heck of it! How do you like them apples? Or should I say tomatoes in your case? Oh wait, that's right, you don't seem to have any~"

That last part must've struck a nerve with him as he immediately stood up from his seat to have a glare-off with me.

"Big talk coming from a wuss like yourself! You think just because you can make a small militia of golems to hide behind, that suddenly makes you hot shit? You rookies are all the same: all bark and no bite!"

I barked, "They are NOT golems! My JackBots are highly advanced, intricate killing machines. Golems are mindless clumps of dirt and clay lazily assembled by magic. The difference between the two is staggering!"

Tomato Boy was quick to respond. "Oh? You mean like how the odds of you hooking up with own harem are staggering?"

Most of the guild erupted in laughter while that blonde asshole sat back down to take a victory sip of his beer. That's it, he's landed himself on my blacklist, just below the Xiaolin Losers.

I think my teammates could see the steam bellowing out of my ears because it was around this time that they all came to my side.

"Hey, Jack, don't bother with these chumps," Megumin reassured as she gave me a pat on the back. "I don't give a damn what they have to say about us."

"She's right, do not let the meaningless words of a drunkard bring you down," Darkness reaffirmed while patting my shoulder. "You're better off ignoring him."

"Yeah, he's just jealous that you have us on your side!" Aqua cheered in what I assume was an attempt to lower the tension in the room. "We don't need his validation, so let's just ditch him and go do something together."

…Y'know something? I honestly needed this kind of support right now. Really, I mean it. In fact, I might have to treat them all to ice cream later. It's the least I could do to thank them.

But before I could turn away and make good on that promise…

"How envious it must be to be surrounded by powerful babes! How envious it must be to not know true suffering!" mocked the blonde douche before settling back down and snorting into his drink. "How's about switching places with me, bro?"

"WHAT WAS THAT, PUNK!?"

Despite losing my cool, I did take pride in seeing the dickhead's reaction when I took his beer mug and splashed it right in his face.

"Oi! The hell are you - !?"

I wasn't going to let him finish. I grabbed him by his jacket collar and laid into him like I did Chase.

"Oh yeah, sure, let's all pick on the new kid! He's fresh meat, and as we all clearly understand, noobs are sub-human trash who don't deserve respect. WELL WHO THE HELL TAUGHT YOU THAT LOAD OF BULL, HUH!? YOUR MOMMY!? Did she force-feed you spoonfuls of those lies while you were still in diapers? It's either that or mob mentality!"

The guild became as quiet as a church. Tomato Boy's companions didn't seem to know what to do or say. I thought I heard one of my own companions try to say something to me, but I didn't care to check who.

"You think I have it easy?" I asked him rhetorically before giving a quick, sharp, sarcastic laugh. "HAH! I wish I had some of what you're smoking! Because APPARENTLY I am forever cursed to always get screwed over by the universe. So in order to counterbalance my rotten luck, I have to work TWICE as hard just to take a step forward for every two steps I take back! Through sheer will and education, I'll be the one out there dominating the playing field while chumps like you end up bagging my groceries!"

They say eyes are the windows to the soul, so I made sure to emphasize my final message by staring intently into his red eyes and not breaking contact (something easier said than done for me). "That's why one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone thinks I don't know what it's like to suffer. So you know what? Fine. How about we actually switch parties for a day. I'd love to see you wrangle those three problem children all on your own!"

Said problem children immediately took offense to that. I couldn't help it if I'm right.

At any rate, Tomato Boy wiped his mouth clean of spittle and stammered, "I, err...sorry. The, um, alcohol might've gotten to my head. We obviously got off on the wrong foot here. Let's start over: my name is Dust and these guys here are my friends."

The mage with the green jacket interjected, "To be honest, Taylor and I have begun questioning the logistics of putting up with you. You've been getting on everyone's bad side more than usual lately."

"Hey, don't portray me as some kind of lowlife thug! I'm not that bad!"

"Dust, the police all know you by name now. And I've had to bail you out of jail so many times, people are starting to view me as your personal babysitter. It's so embarrassing!"

Wow. His party gives him flack too, huh? He may be a prick, but I still give my condolences...

"A-Anyway! I was only bitter because, from where I'm sitting, your situation is like a million times better than mine!" Dust cried to me in exasperation. "Having a harem of pretty ladies with advanced classes following you around? That's every self-respecting man's dream come true! You said you were willing to swap places with me, right? We each go on one adventure with the other's parties and see who has it better or worse."

Dust turned to his party and asked if they would be alright with that. They all gave various forms of confirmation. He turned back to me with a shit-eating grin.

"If you're having any doubts, this your last chance to back out~"

I leaned close to his face and put on my best determined face. "Gong. Yi. Tenpai."

"Come again?"

"Begin. The. Showdown."

Aqua timidly piped up from behind me. "Uh, Jack? Don't we get a say in this?"

I waved my hand and answered absentmindedly, "Just think of this as being under new temporary management. You'll be fine."

The guy that looked like an office worker who pumps a ton of iron began the introductions. "Greetings, my name is Taylor. I'm a Crusader proficient with a shield and greatsword. I guess you could say I'm the de facto leader of the party, despite what Dust might have you believe. Anyway, even though this arrangement is only temporary, you're still a member of our team. Just follow my instructions and you should be just fine."

I shrugged. "Eh, it's fine. Being a leader can be really taxing sometimes. Taking orders instead of giving them should be what the doctor ordered."

Taylor's eyebrows shot upwards and his eyes widened a bit. "Wait…You mean three high-tier warriors are following the directions of an Adventurer such as yourself?"

"Uh...yeah?"

Dust's companions simply gawked at me for several unnecessarily long seconds. C'mon people, it's not that weird! I'm the brains behind this whole operation, and everybody knows that the brain is the most important organ. Well, I guess you could make the argument that the heart is more important since it circulates blood throughout the body – eh, details! Let's not lose focus here.

Racoon-tail-girl was the first to come to her senses and introduced herself. "Uh, anywho! My name's Rin! I'm a mage who can use Intermediate Magic. Nice to meet you! Stick with me and you'll go far, rookie!"

Am I hearing things, or did she just say she can use magic that isn't Explosion related? I thought I'd never see the day where a mage can be allowed to have more than one, single, solitary move in her arsenal. I think I've built up such a tolerance to general incompetence that normal stuff feels like a counterculture punch to the gut.

Last one up was the guy in the blue jacket, and he got straight to the point. "Keith. Archer. I'm the go-to guy if you want something dead from afar. Welcome aboard, kid."

After shaking Keith's hand and finally getting acquainted with the rest, it was only appropriate that I give them a short villainous monologue about their temporary recruit. After all, what kind of a bad guy would I be if I didn't?

"Cool, suppose it's fair to introduce myself. I'm Jack Spicer, Evil Intellectual Adventurer Extraordinaire! My hobbies include long walks on the beach at night, building robot armies, and – of course – winning. Now what's on the menu for today's adventure?"

My surrogate party members had to take a minute to bask in my diabolical glory. I allowed it, they were still new to the whole Jack package. Or as I like to call it, the Jackage~!

Keith suddenly turned turned to Taylor and asked, "Is it too late to get Dust back?"

The man scolded his insubordinate subordinate as he whapped him away from his side. He then turned back to me with an apologetic look etched onto his chiseled face...

Damn, if I don't get my act together, I might lose myself in those pretty eyes of his! Crap, I did it again!

"Please excuse my comrade," Taylor apologized. "He has a bad habit of not thinking before he speaks. He can be just as bad as Dust in that regard. Now, as far as questing goes, we weren't really planning on going on one today. Although, given the circumstances, we can always partake in a simple goblin-slaying quest. There's been a commotion happening near the hillside and the Adventurer's Guild needs the area cleared out. Since you hold the weakest class in our party, you'll be assigned to carry our luggage. But don't worry, we'll split the reward money equally~"

Wow, went from defending me to giving me snarky service with a smile. Thanks a lot, handsome prick. Oh well, I was bracing myself to carry crap anyway. I just hope he wasn't being sarcastic about splitting the money equally.

As I went ahead and tidied up the essentials we would need for the trip, I overheard the familiar shrill voice of Aqua coming from the quest board.

"HUH!? You want us to take a goblin quest? But that's way below our paygrade! Let's take something more daring! We need to prove to Jack that he's missing out big time!"

I looked over to see Dust rubbing the back of his head and addressing my evil posse. "Ah ha ha…Yes, well, I know this quest is child's play to ladies of your caliber, but please pick a simple one for my sake!"

"Oi, Dust!" Rin called out. "Don't get so comfortable that you won't wanna rejoin us, alright?"

He shouted back, "Hey, what do you take me for? A hopeless delinquent?"

"Yup."

"Y-You didn't even bat an eye when you said that!"

Darkness perked up like an excited puppy. "Is this true, Dust? Are you really a degenerate delinquent who treats his companions like tools!?"

"Wait, what? Why are you putting words in my mouth...?"

Tomato Boy's gonna have egg on his face for sure. If only I had a CameraBot ready for when that moment inevitably comes. Oh well, better conserve enough mana for later. But I think I know what my next robot should be...

God, my arms were killing me!

I was lagging behind Taylor's party when we set out on our journey to the mountains. The group was happily chatting amongst themselves like I didn't even exist. It'd been an hour into the trip and already I was fed up with it! My feet were sore, my arms were tired, and the sun constantly beaming down on me wasn't helping my complexion.

Not only that…but I was also bored out of my mind.

The walk to the mountain path was uneventful, nothing came to challenge us. Plus, my temporary party simply couldn't be bothered to engage with me in any meaningful way (other than taking the occasional glance behind just to make sure I didn't keel over and die). I know my regular team was chaotic and all...but at least there was never a dull moment with them around.

N-Not that I miss them of course! I'm only saying they were energizing to hang out with, nothing more. In fact, if push ever comes to shove, I can always replace them with perfect robotic doubles. At least then I can program them to be a little more docile then their organic counterparts.

Bitching and moaning aside, we finally made it to the mountains. They weren't like any of the lush, green mountains back in China. They were more rocky and bare like the ones in Europe. So that begs the question: why would a bunch of dumb goblins want to hang out in a place that provides little to no comfort?

Oh, right, because they're dumb. I answered my own question.

Taylor stopped to whip out his map and said, "Alright, the goblins were spotted at the top of this mountain path, just as it starts leading down this slope. There might be some hiding in the caves beside the path, so everyone be on guard from this point on."

"Hey, what about me!?" I cried, feeling left out. "I'm the one carrying everybody's junk over here! What am I supposed to do if a goblin attacks me?"

Everyone was quick to give me nasty looks. It's nothing I wasn't already used to, but something about the situation made me shrink back somewhat. In hindsight, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to annoy more experienced adventurers who can easily dropkick me at the drop of a hat.

"Just stay close to us and there won't be a problem," Keith responded with a low growl. "Also, if you lose or damage our 'junk', you can forget about getting paid at all. Got it?"

I nodded meekly.

"Alright," Taylor remarked. "Now let's go before it gets dark. Keep your eyes peeled everyone."

We trudged up the slope in silence. I was not about to cry, but I was seriously regretting switching teams.

The trail itself was narrow with a rocky wall on our right and a cliff on our left. We had to carefully walk in a single file line to make it up the mountain face. That's when something…interesting happened.

Out of nowhere, I spotted a red dot in my peripheral vision. I was going to dismiss it as my eyes playing tricks on me until I clearly saw the dot blink and move around. At the same time, a transparent outline of the very same trail we were walking up on appeared directly in my line of sight.

"The fuck…?"

I thought I had finally snapped. But then it hit me: this must've been my Enemy Detection skill going off. My Adventurer Card once said that it picked up on hostiles using "Radar-like pings". This must be what it was referring to! I was only surprised by it because this was the first time it was actually going off. Not once did it decide to activate during the toad quest, the cabbage harvest, or the boss encounter. Maybe it functioned more like preliminary security alert system? Like, the radar gets set off when the enemy is sneaking but not when they've already made themselves present? Well, that's the working theory I've got so far.

As for the red dot, it looked like it was going to make a turn around the corner we were heading.

"Uh, guys?" I cautiously spoke up. "I know you're probably still mad at me, but I'm sensing some kind of enemy about to turn the corner ahead of us."

The multicolored trio stopped dead in their tracks. Taylor turned to me, shocked, with his brows furrowed and his forehead creased in worry. I should know, I've made that expression more times than I care to admit.

"Wait, you have the Enemy Detection skill?" he asked. "And there's only one enemy? That shouldn't be a goblin, they always travel in packs. It might be a high-leveled monster."

"Well what do we do, then!?" cried Rin. "We're on a straight path, we'll be spotted for sure!"

Their shaky voices and talk of strong monsters was infectious, which is why I voted that we hide.

Keith glared at me. "Are you stupid!? We're on a cliffside, where are we supposed to hide?"

I blanked for a second before offering, "W-Well, I read that the Lurk skill can also affect party members touched by the user..."

"You have the Lurk skill too?" Taylor questioned before he shook himself out of it. "Never mind. Everyone, hold on to Jack's shoulders. Jack, use Lurk and slide up against that wall. Hurry!"

Spoken like a true sergeant. Maybe there's a chance I can recruit him into my evil army once the world is mine. A handsome face like his could be just the motivation the troops would need other than the looming threat of being court-martialed.

Getting back on track, I used Lurk to turn myself invisible while the others touched my shoulders and subsequently disappeared from the visible spectrum along with me. We all backed against the cliffside wall and waited with bated breath for the enemy to skulk past us.

The single creature that came shambling around the bend was something I was dreading to run into. It matched the description I was given by the mohawked beefcake on my first day of adventuring...

The Beginner's Bane. Also affectionately referred to as a "Rookie Slayer".

When I saw the thing, I covered my mouth in a panic to avoid screaming in terror. However, in defense of my manhood, Rin did the exact same thing first. I was merely copying her because she was a veteran, so…monkey see, monkey do.

After the saber-toothed beast sniffed the area, it wandered back in the direction we just came from until it was out of sight. That's when we felt it was safe to decloak ourselves and let out the breaths we'd been holding in.

"How…how scary! That was a Rookie Slayer, an actual Rookie Slayer!" Rin stammered. "I think my heart stopped beating for a sec there…"

"No wonder goblins have been spotted near town," Keith mumbled. "They must've been herded by that thing. These mountains are probably its home."

"And now it's heading in the direction of our home," Taylor noted. "This is problematic, we won't be able to return to town from where we came. That beast is too high-leveled for us to take down at our current strength."

Despite the underlying tension in the group, the non-masochistic Crusader quickly straightened himself out. "Still, we have a quest to finish. A Beginner's Bane normally protects the goblins it uses to lure in would-be adventurers. If we kill the goblins and hide their bodies in the woods, it might ignore us like it did just now and follow the scent of fresh corpses instead. Even if it does get close, we can rely on Jack's Enemy Detection skill. Let's head for our destination."

Yeesh, he's starting to sound like that Kangaroo Meatball guy. I hope being around goody two-shoes 24/7 doesn't affect my evil street cred. Or worse, rub off on -

Nope, nuh-uh, not happenin'! I already made the mistake of trying to turn good once; that will be the last time I ever do something so stupid. Besides, I was all depressed after disappointing my (at the time) evil hero, so I wasn't exactly in the best headspace back then.

Regardless, we all unanimously agreed with Taylor's proposal and continued on the path. But, in an unexpected turn of events, Rin actually took some of the luggage I was carrying off my back. When I gave her a confused look, she gazed off to the side.

"If we encounter the Beginner's Bane and need to run, it would be better if you had a lighter load," she muttered quietly. "So I'll carry some of my stuff. As compensation, we'll be counting on your Enemy Detection and Lurk skills, 'k?"

Hearing Rin say that, Taylor and Keith hurriedly took some of their bags from me as well.

Huh…Looks like things were coming up Jack after all!

After that disturbing close call with a ferocious, intelligent animal, we continued hiking up the mountain trail until we came upon a large indentation marked on Taylor's map. Likely a meteor impact site if I had to wager a guess.

"Alright, this is the where most of the goblin sightings took place," stated Taylor. "Jack, picking up anything from your Enemy Detection?"

Bad. Fucking. Lord.

"Something's wrong with my eyes! I can't see! IT'S ALL JUST RED!"

"SHH! Quiet, you idiot!" Rin whispered-yelled nervously. "Guys, there may be more goblins around the corner than we can handle. If Jack's vision is entirely blotted with red dots, we may be going up against a horde!"

While I was trying to paw my way around thanks to my sudden vision impairment, I heard Keith snort, "So what? There just shrimps! The worse they can do is kick us in the shin. Besides, we can't let the newbie hog the limelight forever. LET'S GO!"

"Keith, stop! Don't be reckless!"

"No, Taylor, stay hidden!"

"What's happening!? I still can't see over here, you guys!"

I heard the others' footsteps dash ahead, so I had to us the rocky wall beside me as an anchor to reality.

Was this what it was like to be blind? If so, I have a newfound respect for people who can go their whole lives living like this. I should buy a walking stick in case my Enemy Detection goes haywire again. Or better yet, get a refund on the skill itself. No ability is worth giving me a panic attack over the loss of my vision! Can skills even be refunded? How the heck would that work? I'll bet Luna gets asked that question a lot.

I'm just trying to distract myself from the fact that all I saw was red, which kind of also merged into brown due to my weird color blindness. Turns out the Farsight skill I picked up couldn't correct that aspect of my vision. Yet another case of false advertising.

"Woah! That's a lotta gobs!"

"We told you not to go in bows firing! Now look where that got us!"

Once I shuffled blindly to where the shouts were coming from, I noticed holes to the outside world started popping up across my vision, meaning the red dots were finally disappearing. Finally! Now let's see what we have to work with here…

"…I think I made wee-wee…" I whispered to nobody at the sight of a GOBLIN MOSH PIT!

"There's usually only a dozen or so goblins in a standard pack!" Taylor yelled. "Damn it, if we turn back, we might get caught between them and the Rookie Slayer! There's nothing else we can do, we have to fight!"

Taylor and the others readied themselves for battle as I calculated in my head how fast the JackBots could get here if I called them. The answer? Not fast enough...

"Chi, chi, chi! Chi, chi, chi!"

The goblins emitted weird battle screams as charged up the slope of the crater. The situation may look bleak, but if we can keep the high ground, we might have a fighting chance.

An arrow from behind the enemy line zipped through the air and lodged itself in Taylor's arm.

"ARGH! Shit, I'm hit! Be careful! They got archers in their ranks! Rin, cast a wind-defense spell, quick!"

"Rin's still chanting, she won't make it!" Keith alerted. "Everyone, try to dodge!"

They needed wind spells to blow back the arrows? Well, I'm no Raimundo, but I've got something that might help.

"Wind Breath!"

Along with Create Water, I also took the liberty of learning the other three basic elemental spells: Wind Breath, Tinder, and Create Earth. They're only beginner spells I purchased for dirt cheap with my leftover skill points, but at least I can live out my fantasies of showing up those Wu-obsessed monks.

The small gust of conjured up wind was just powerful enough to throw off the aerodynamics of the arrows, causing them to clatter harmlessly to the ground. Taylor gawked at me. "J-Jack…! Great job, man!"

As soon as he gave me some unexpected praise, Rin was done chanting her spell. "Wind Curtain!"

A torrent of wind suddenly formed a curtain-like barrier in front of us. The remaining arrows targeted at us were swept away like twigs in a hurricane. Rin's spell also gave me a cheeky idea I wanted to try...

"Create Earth!" I shouted and generated two small mounds of dirt in each hand. Before my associates could ask what I was doing, I tossed the dirt into Rin's Wind Curtain. The whirlwinds greedily sucked up all the debris and, as a result, gradually converted itself into a miniature tornado. Then, I used what little mana I had left to conjure another Wind Breath spell to nudge the Wind Curtain barrier towards the goblin horde. The dirt was effectively blown into their eyes, momentarily blinding them and giving us a much-needed edge.

Now on a roll, I barked, "Taylor, hit 'em while they're distracted! Keith, take out those archers hiding in the back! Rin, keep using those wind spells! Also, while you're at it, throw some dirt in there to keep blinding them!"

Nobody even questioned my directions, they just looked at me and did exactly as I said! Taylor effortlessly cut through the goblins' defenses like paper, Keith sniped the archers with the deadly accuracy of an assassin, and Rin spammed her Wind Curtain skill (while taking my suggestion to heart no less)!

Despite the unexpected chemistry of our teamwork, one of the green midgets somehow managed to get the jump on me when I least expected it. It knocked me flat on my ass and had me pinned down with its surprisingly strong arms. The others were too busy with the horde to notice or hear me, so I was left to try and buck the little bastard off. Its face was grotesque and its breath was nauseating. It kept growling and attempting to bite me like a rapid animal on steroids. I could feel myself losing strength from thrashing around as much as I did.

This was it, wasn't it? This was where my journey ends. I don't think I've ever been this scared or alone in all my life...

"Jack Spicer, prepare yourself for a most humiliating defeat!"

I must be going delirious because that sounded like Omi's voice.

When I cracked open my eyes, I was met with a bright round yellow face instead of a deformed green one staring down at me. Cheddar Head's ever present shit-eating grin was smeared on his lips as my strength faded and my vision blurred.

"O-Omi…?" I grunted.

"Give up, Spicer! You will never hope to be as strong and talented as me!"

I didn't understand what was going on. Best guess was my previous life flashing before my eyes and getting blended into current reality. Regardless I was getting sick of hearing those all-too-familiar jabs directed at me. If only Omi here would just -

"Wuya and Chase were right: you truly are a disgrace to evil everywhere!"

"SHUT UP!"

Adrenaline rushed through my veins as I headbutted my assaulter. With my arms now free, I unsheathed my short sword and swiftly stabbed him in the side of his neck. The goblin gurgled for a bit before falling over, dead.

I remember just standing there, the battle but a faint ring in my ears as I replayed the event over and over in my mind. I knew they just were monsters, no different than deranged animals that would rather eat you alive or take glee in killing you if they were sentient enough. But it still felt...icky killing one up close and personal. After the incident with the Giant Toads, I thought I'd never be able to properly stomach murdering living creatures. Hell, the only reason I even kept a somewhat cool composure back then was because I busied myself with a tunnel vision objective of saving Aqua and Megumin.

But now…I think I may have accidentally found a coping mechanism to get around killing monsters: by imagining them as my past tormentors!

Deciding to test this revelation, I zeroed in on another goblin that was making a charge at me. I concentrated and, in my mind, superimposed one of my old enemies' faces onto it.

"Maybe if you worked out once and a while, you wouldn't look like a scrawny old lady!"

"Fuck you, Kimiko!"

I successfully dodged the monster's predictable attack and stabbed it in the back. Another went in to avenge its friend.

"That Jack is slower than a three-legged cow in quicksand!"

"Am not, Clay!"

I used the hilt of my sword to stun him before slicing him through the abdomen. For the rest of the battle, I continued to use my newfound technique to help my teammates kill all the remaining goblins.

"Ready to have your butt kicked again, wannabe goth?"

"Why must you insist on building those infernal machines? They're useless!"

"Silence, worm! I have no time to trifle with the likes of you!"

There was no doubt in my mind that this was far from a healthy way to cope. But, to be fair, it got results. No survivors of the goblin horde were left after we were done.

"I have never seen anyone use magic in such a way before! Is Basic Magic really that practical?"

"I know, right? We were taught from a really young age that Basic Magic was just a waste of skill points! If only my parents could see Jack back there!"

"Man, this is the first time I can say I actually enjoyed hunting goblins! I mean, I thought we were all doomed when I saw the size of their tribe!"

The four of us were laughing and joking about the fight on the way back to Axel. Emotions were still high and our blood still pumping! Even when I was back on Earth, it'd been so long since I last had a smooth victory like that. It's a real shame it doesn't happen as often as I'd like it to.

After we dispatched the goblins, we followed through with Taylor's plan of scattering the bodies throughout the forest to throw off the Beginner's Bane, and hopefully sway it into leaving the area altogether. In another close call, we actually spotted it on our back down to the field lands. Although it appeared to have just returned from a fight itself as it was fairly wounded and walking with a limp. And if I didn't know any better, I'd say it also had this look of...fearful disgust in its eyes? Like it had just witnessed something too nasty even for it to handle. But that could've just been me projecting onto a wild animal as the smell of goblin blood was kinda getting to me.

Either way, we didn't take any chances and cloaked ourselves until it passed by and was out of sight. We probably missed out on a lot of juicy XP with that one, but better safe than sorry.

"Good thing you had a nerd with a non-specialized class on your side, huh?" I turned back to the adventurers and joked. "Without my quick wit, you'd all be goblin chew toys right about now!"

The three of them seemed to get flustered over my little roast. Bet they feel pretty stupid for doubting me before.

"Ah...sorry for misjudging you back then, Jack," Taylor apologized sincerely. "We promise to never look down on you, or other newbies, again for occupation only. It was wrong of us...even if Dust was the one who started it."

Rin nodded and added, "Yeah, we shouldn't have been rude to you over something as petty as job descriptions. Don't judge a book by its cover, y'know? You sure proved to us that there's nothing wrong with sticking to the basic Adventurer class for a while till you find your true calling!"

Keith didn't contribute to the group apology at first. In fact, he made a considerable effort not to look me or any of his other teammates in the eye. Eventually, though, he settled on relaxing his arms over the back of his head like some cool dude in an anime or something before coming out with a surprise confession.

"I'm not gonna lie, I secretly resented you for not changing your class to something else sooner. Despite your…offbeat personality, I could see you as someone with a lot of untapped potential. From my point of view, you were just a guy throwing his life away in lieu of staying at home, tinkering with your 'bots' or whatever you call them. But after what happened today…you've earned my respect, man."

"Ooo~! Keith doesn't throw his respect around so often!" Rin teased as she poked the archer's side with her elbow. "You've just made a powerful ally today, Jack."

Taylor stepped behind them and rested his hands on their shoulders. "As with all of us. If you or your party ever needs help with anything, you can count on us. We'll always welcome you with open arms."

...

…wait, what?

I don't…I don't get it. Did I actually make honest-to-god friends? In an parallel universe no less? How come I could never do that in my own world before I turned evil? Kids wanted nothing to do with me at lunch or recess. Hell, the only time those brats ever socialized with me was when it involved mooching off of my hard work for group projects and - !

Of course. How could I have been so stupid? These guys want to use me. I'm just a tool to them. Like how I was a tool for Wuya, and Chase, and even Omi that bobble-headed little - !

"I-I…I…I need alone time!"

I took the coward's route and flew away, never looking back. When will I ever learn to always keep my guard up no matter what?

It was well into the evening by the time I arrived at the guild. The rest felt like a blur. I faintly recall Dust explaining how he and the girls encountered a Beginner's Bane and all three of them did something stupid – I dunno, I was feeling way too out of it to recall in perfect detail.

Dust went groveling back to his party (who I dared not glance back at) and Aqua started recounting their escapade together in whiny detail. I sorta blocked her and the rest of the outside world out. I felt safe and secure, but paradoxically confused and lost inside the confides of my racing mind for the following fortnight.

If I couldn't even bring myself to trust sane and rational adventurers...what the hell made me think I could ever bring myself to trust three insane chicks?