Peeking over a rocky ledge, my Evil Posse and I spied on a white rabbit with a unicorn horn staring at nothing in particular as it sat still.

So this was the so-called "Lovely Rabbit" I've heard about. Also known by their less subtle name, "Dire Bunnies", these little guys were apparently considered dangerous monsters by most folk. Enough for the guild to put out kill-quests for them with a generous sum of reward money. Hence our arrival here.

"Gonna be honest, when I first saw this bounty on the quest board, I was a little skeptical," I mused quietly to my teammates. "Either this mission is the worst joke in the world, or we're about to get our throats torn out. Monty Python hasn't steered me wrong yet."

"As someone who's seen that film, I can unfortunately confirm the latter," said Aqua, my newfound movie buddy. "Lovely Rabbits look cute, but they're notorious for their bloodthirsty nature. They use the horns on their heads to impale people and would-be predators. By the way, is it too late to back out of this quest?"

"And get suspended from the guild? Hell no! We're taking high-paying quests like these to clear the debt faster. We can't afford a week of twiddling our thumbs!"

A word to the wise I picked up from Dust was that it wasn't good practice to forfeit quests. Outright failing them was one thing, sometimes shit just happens, but chickening out was frowned upon in the adventuring community. Guilds will typically put you on a one-week suspension for essentially wasting their time. The more often you couldn't commit to quests, the longer the suspensions, culminating in getting blacklisted from the establishment. You were still allowed to operate in other guilds, but good luck with all the bad press.

Megumin chuckled proudly and menacingly. "Puny mammals are nothing to the might of the Crimson Demon's foremost prodigy. Jack, allow me to show this pitiful creature true oblivion with my Explosion Magic!"

"Was already planning on it, M-Bomb," I said with a smirk. But I made sure to clarify, "Just do it silently though. Don't want to alert -"

"I REFUSE!"

With fast reflexes that impressed me in retrospect, I tackled the loud idiot to the ground while covering her mouth, Aqua and Darkness were already crouched behind the ledge, so I didn't worry about them being spotted. My Enemy Detection radar didn't show the Lovely Rabbit having moved, and when I peeked behind the ledge to confirm, it was still in the same spot. Although now it was moving its head around to find the source of the noise.

"Phew. That was a clo- AH!"

I quickly covered my own mouth with my free hand when the little punk bit the one I used to shut her pie hole. She shoved me off as soon as I removed it, going off on me in a hushed tone as I tended to the bite marks.

"Don't ever touch me like that again. I don't know how you were raised, but that is not how you treat a lady! I can understand doing that to Aqua and Darkness, but I will not be subject to that kind of harassment!"

Crap, now Aqua was on the verge of crying and Dark was barely holding back an orgasmic howl. These girls were going to be the reason I die to a fluffy bunny!

"You: throw a tantrum and I won't pick up some bubbly later," I said to Aqua, prompting her to get her act together. "You: moan and I'll tell more people about your real name," I said to Lalatina, causing her to gasp in fear. "And you: I'm sorry, but you were being too loud! Which is exactly why I don't want you chanting for this one! Didn't you say you can cast Explosion without all the grand speeches?"

"Yes, but Crimson Demons are all about being loud and verbose with their spells," Megumin explained with an unamused stare. "It's kind of our thing, you should've known that by now. Don't like it? Deal with it."

Great, it was the Manticore/Griffin kill-quest all over again...

I ran my non-bitten hand down my face and held back an irritated groan. "Look, I understand the simple joy of hamming it up to your enemies, I really do. But unless you'd like to have your insides become your outsides, omit the chant this one time. Your spell doesn't even need a power boost: it's a single, small target."

"Bribe me with some more sweets and I'll do it."

I growled, "Fine. Now get your Explosion ready and let's get out of here."

As Megumin raised her staff over the ledge, Aqua roughly pulled me away to whisper-yell in my ear. "Jack, what have you done!? Don't you remember the last time we let Megumin have too much candy!?"

"Relax, I haven't forgotten," I whispered right back. "That's why I plan on synthesizing some sugar-free candy. Since she has no frame of reference, she should hardly notice the difference."

"You're going to trick a kid into eating sugar-free candy? You really are evil..."

"I do my best~"

"Explosion."

While the delivery of Megumin's signature catchphrase was unbelievably flat, the following blast more than made up for it. A strong current of fiery mana shot down from the sky, making the entire area shake violently and nearly throwing us off our feet. Once the dust settled (literally) and Megumin fell to the ground on schedule, we surveyed the blast zone.

No Lovely Rabbit in sight. Just a large, charred crater in its place. I glanced down at the immobilized girl before me and beamed.

"Nicely done, my evil apprentice! Looks like I owe you a Twix."

"Don't forget the Kit-Kats," Megumin added as she lifted her head up off the ground. She sighed, "Man...it's just not the same without the chant. What's the point in unleashing the most powerful attack spell in the world if you can't brag about it dramatically...?"

I gave an understanding nod. "I know, I know. It does lose a little of the pizzazz, doesn't it? But at least it got the job done!"

As if Eris herself was waiting for the perfect moment to mess with me, a distant rumbling caught my attention. Enemy Detection was pinging me like crazy, I peer over the ledge...

A hoard of white blurs come rushing out of an ashy burrow that was exposed after the Explosion. We'd just found the den.

"Oh fuckbunnies..." I murmured fearfully. "ACTUAL FUCKBUNNIES"

"Fear not, my friends! I shall draw their attention!" Darkness cheered as she drew her sword. "I shall make quick work of these foul creatures!"

The Crusader with a one-track mind slid down the slope we were hiding above and activated her Decoy skill. Y'know, the skill that makes it so nearby enemies gang up on the user? Yeah, that one.

Two seconds later, all the angry Dire Bunnies swarmed the woman. Their ravenous…uh, "bunny sounds" thankfully drowned out most of her erotic cries as she wildly swung her blade and failed to land even a single hit.

Why, Darkness? Just... why?

"Okay, there's only so much that knucklehead can do on her own. Aqua, let's -" I stopped myself when I turned to find no water goddess beside. "Where'd she go?"

A familiar, ear-bleeding shriek clued me in on Aqua's whereabouts not a second later. I turned around and spotted her running away from a sizable swarm of undead monsters. She must've woken them up from their dirt naps from the woods nearby…again.

"Oh for crying out loud…" I cupped my hands and yelled out to her, "TURN OFF YOUR DIVINE AURA! IT'S DRAWING UNWANTED GUESTS!"

"THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! NOW STOP YELLING AND HALPPPPP!" Aqua bawled as she continued to run from the shambling creatures of darkness (not to be confused with the person currently getting the snot kicked out of her by bunny rabbits). I sighed and tapped away at my wrist communicator, dispatching four JackBots to help the demigod. Maybe that'll teach her to be more grateful to them.

I was just about to call for backup myself when I realized something: I really should be focusing on getting more experience points. Letting my JackBots kill all my enemies for me resulted in wasted XP, just like Megumin theorized. All that time spent post-Destroyer? Yeah, I have little to show for it in terms of stat increases or level-ups. I was still at Level 14 while the rest of my team were in the 20s. I'd never meet the Level requirement to switch over to the Battlesmith class at the rate I was going.

I glanced back down at my Crusader friend, still on cloud nine and still missing her targets. At least she'd be making the grinding experience easier for me.

"Alright, I'm going down there myself," I huffed while drawing my short sword. "Megumin, hold the fort while I'm gone."

"Kay..." Megumin grumbled, obviously not in any position to refuse.

I slid down the slope, gripping my blade and swallowing thickly. Evil or not, I didn't feel fantastic killing a small horde of fluffy bunnies, even murderous and bloodthirsty ones. But it had to be done, and I wasn't going to earn XP any other way. Well, there was always eating monster food, but the indigestion wouldn't be worth it.

I grimaced as I stabbed the last rabbit gnawing on Darkness, making a conscious effort not to look down at the pile of dead, no-longer white animals. To distract myself from the rising bile in the back of my throat, I glared at the woman before me. Despite having been scratched to hell and back, she didn't look worse for wear.

"You couldn't hit the ocean with the world's biggest beach ball if your life depended on it…"

Predictably, she flinched at my insult and hugged herself in shameful ecstasy. "So deliciously cruel~!"

"I'm not being delicious, I'm being honest!" I snapped, too annoyed to get flustered over her usual mannerisms. "I know you have bad aim, but they were practically all over you, Darkness! Were you even trying to hit them!? Or did you get too 'caught up in the moment'?"

"I-I'm sorry, Jack! Truly, I am! But I'm afraid it's simply out of my hands," Darkness replied, still flushed and avoiding looking me in the eye as she awkwardly handed me her Adventurer Card. "Here. I trust you can glean a proper answer from this..."

Slightly confused, I took the card from her hand. I was the only one of the group who never got to look at Dark's stats and skills when she first joined. Aqua and Megumin seemed impressed upon first glance, so I took their word for it at the time. Clearly a mistake on my part given the perv's track record for hitting stuff with a sword. But if the answer to her piss-poor aim was somewhere on this card, I was going to take a good, long, hard look at it.

...I've been hanging around this nymphomaniac for too long.

As expected, most of her base stats were above average, save for Physical and Magical Defense which were on par with my Intelligence stat. Her list of skills included Decoy for attracting enemies, Passive Health Regen for long-term endurance on the battlefield, and skill point increases to multiple defense oriented abilities. None of this really surprised me.

But as I kept scrolling through her card like a real-word video game menu, I noticed something. Or rather, I noticed a certain lack of something. Something that was crucial for her to achieve anything outside of standing around looking pretty.

"Dark? Where are your attack skills?"

The older woman hid her hands behind her back and shyly glanced down, like a child pretending to be innocent.

"Darkness?"

She had become unresponsive.

"Lalatina!"

"Don't call me by that name!" she shouted in annoyance.

"Where. Are. Your. Attack. Skills."

Forced to acknowledge me, the noblewoman was cornered and forced to provide an answer. "W-Well, ah, y-you see, there is a perfectly l-logical reason for that. As a noble, I have...an obligation to protect this kingdom's people by maintaining the law. As a Crusader, this further extends to physically protecting those that cannot protect themselves from harm. So naturally, I invest my skill points into my defensive stats and abilities to achieve this sacred duty."

She fumbled a little at the beginning, but Darkness managed to compose herself as she explained the reason behind her gross negligence. Either she genuinely believed her own words, or she was covering for her perverted ulterior motives. It might've been both honestly.

"Okay…but why skip out on your only method of attack? Wouldn't reliably fending off enemies make your job of protecting people a little goddamn easier? Like, I'm a bad guy and don't care what you good guys do, but that's kind of a no-brainer!"

"A-Ah. Well...as I stated previously, I was under the impression that the best way to defend was with an overwhelming defense. As such, I improved those stats exclusively, so..."

Darkness repeated herself like a freaking wind-up toy, though she did sound less confident in her answer. I crossed my arms and sized her up, ready to add my two cents.

"You know what I think, Dark? I think we both know the real reason you deliberately avoid taking an offensive skill," I started calmly. "Now try and follow along with me here: you're a masochist, right? Don't deny it because it's a rhetorical question."

Darkness flushed yet again, but for once didn't respond with a torrent of hasty retorts. Instead, she managed a weak, compliant nod, crossing her arms before motioning me to continue. Truth be told, I wasn't expecting her to be willing to hear me out.

"Right. And as a masochist, you get pleasure from pain and, more specifically, humiliation, right?"

Darkness whined in what could've been dual annoyance and elation over my assessment. As quick as it came, she shook her head and sputtered, "P-P-Perhaps, yes, your point, please?"

"Here's what I propose…" I continued in confidence, doing my best to walk casually around her while not stepping into fresh animal carcasses. "I think the idea of being defeated by virtually anything is something that really tickles your fancy. So what do you do? You purposefully beef up your defense while leaving your attack to the wayside. That way, whenever you're forced to go in for the kill, no matter how hard you try, no matter how badly you want to…you just can't do it. You're too clumsy, you have no training with a blade, your best isn't best enough, and you end up with your ass handed to you. Bruised and humiliated, just the way you like it…"

To really seal the deal, I leaned slightly into her face with an all-knowing smirk. Her eyes were wide, her face was on fire, and she was sweating bullets. I had her number.

"And while that can be really inconvenient for me sometimes…credit where it's due, that's a pretty selfish motivation you got there; I'm kinda proud. It warms my greedy black heart knowing you have just that little spark of evil in you after all~!"

"WHA - I - That is not a fair assessment in the slightest – how DARE you!" Darkness squawked. The wall of tension that'd been building up over the past minute shattered in a hilarious display as she flailed her arms in defiance. "I will concede, it's possible my t-tendencies may have affected my decision-making somewhat. But to say that it is birthed from a place of evil just isn't fair! I live to serve to protect others, I would never willingly put them at risk!"

"Oh, don't try to hide it now~" I offered, playfully nudging her side with my elbow. "Your true motivation is selfish, and everyone knows that selfishness is the cornerstone of evil. Therefore, you are evil, and that's good! No, wait, I mean that's bad. Like, good-bad, remember? Or was it bad-good …?"

"No, NO! I refuse to be roped into your confusing world of morals!" Darkness hotly retorted while jabbing her finger in my chest. "I am good, alright!? Just good! I'm not perfect, but I am FAR from evil! I do not do what I do out of self-interest...okay, not entirely out of self-interest but - STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"

What started as me trying to contain a snort quickly devolved into a full-blown laughing fit. Something about seeing a perverted female Crusader bend over backwards to justify her obviously evil actions was too funny! It really is the little things in life that keep you going. Aside from world domination of course.

"Glad to see you two are having fun at least..." came an irritated voice from above. We turned around to find a frazzled Aqua carelessly dragging poor Megumin down to our position while the bots mopped up the remaining undead.

"Guys! Perfect timing! You're never gonna believe this!" I exclaimed, giddy over my latest discovery. "I just found out that Dark has a, dare I say, dark side to her! She has evil goals in mind just like me!"

"SHUSH, no! Don't say it like that!" Darkness fumed, still desperately attempting to deny her true nature. "Uh, s-silly Jack here believes he's made some grand realization about my...condition. But he is WRONG, thank you very much!"

Megumin, seemingly content with being dragged by the cape, craned her head around as far back as she could to stare at me blankly. She sighed, "Okay, I know I'm going to regret asking, but what's this all about? What sort of 'realization' have you come to and why do you think it makes Darkness evil?"

"Simple, my dearest M-Bomb," I replied proudly as I moved in front of her and crouched down to her level. Might as well explain it without making her strain her own neck. "We all recognize Dark's unusual habits and how they may stem from a more than likely selfish place. As such, her decision to dump all her skill points exclusively into defense and none in attack to get more thrills PROVES she's got a droplet of evil in her!"

Megumin and Aqua's eyes widened a bit after my explanation. Both girls turned to look at Darkness (who had her burning face buried into her hands while muttering, "It's not like that…") before turning back to me with funny faces.

"That's…well, that's a lot of things, really, but I don't think evil is necessarily one of them," Megumin said after a brief pause. "That's stretching it."

I huffed, "Ugh, you guys never let me have any fun...fine, we'll do it this way then."

Mildly miffed, I turned to Darkness and groaned. "Alright, Dark, here's the deal: make a logical argument for why your dumb actions don't make you evil and I'll drop it...for now"

Peeking out between the cracks of her fingers, Darkness lowered her hands and let out a tired sigh. Though her blush didn't fully go away, I got the sense that she was about to go into "boring-serious-adult-mode" again. She's a lot less fun when she starts acting her age. When I become an evil adult genius, I ain't never letting go of my childlike sensibilities. Some of the best fictional villains out there have a constant playful attitude that makes them all the more charming and funny!

"If you insist on making me defend myself, then I shall do what I must," Darkness replied evenly before clearing her throat in preparation. "I understand that my bad habits may have had a minor influence on my choices, most notably in regards to where I allocate my skill points. However…I ultimately do what I do for the good of others, not for my own personal gain. I continue to max out my defensive stats and skills specifically with this in mind; to defend those who are unable to defend themselves! As such, I vehemently refute your claim that I operate with evil intentions, Jack."

Not buying it. I know there's a hint of bad within her that just needs time, patience, and most importantly acceptance to draw out.

Glancing back at the other two, I was disappointed to see a sniffling Aqua wipe stray tears from her eyes. Seems as though Dark's speech moved her I guess. However, evil hope was not lost as Megumin still had this unreadable expression on her face (unreadable to me anyway). Did she see through the Crusader's heroine act like I did?

"Darkness...I think I have to give it to Jack for once. Even if you truly want to protect people, that doesn't justify putting them at risk by not having any offensive skills. I know you mean well, and Jack's obviously being a big dummy over the evil claim, but you can't act like you're entirely altruistic either. That's just not fair."

A part of me really wanted to highlight Megumin's own hypocrisy given how she also refuses to learn more offensive skills. But she was kinda/sorta backing me up here so I let it slide.

My moment of self-satisfaction was short-lived, unfortunately, when I noticed how quiet my Darkness had become. When I looked over to her, she had her head hung low so I couldn't make out her face. Despite that, I could gather that she was probably feeling sad…and seeing her sad kinda made me sad too, to be frank.

"Perhaps...perhaps you have a point, Megumin. I suppose my current position is rather...self-serving, in retrospect," she muttered in a soft and dejected tone soft. "It appears I have quite a bit to reflect on for the future. Let's head back to Axel now. Maybe the walk will give me time to think..."

With a hum of confirmation, Megumin turned to Aqua and kindly requested that she'd be carried and not dragged across the fucking dirt. This snapped the blue-haired ditz out of her trance and she fulfilled the girl's wishes. With perfect timing, the JackBots I dispatched came down to meet us after they dealt with the zombies. I ordered them to carry the dead bunnies for us so we could sell their hides at the market. Might as well seeing as how we were effectively forced to do these quests for free; we needed to loot and sell as much as possible to stay financially afloat.

We started to depart for the trek back home, but I stopped when I patted my belt and noticed something was missing. Somehow, I managed to drop my darn sword post-bunny massacre.

Asking the others to hold up for a second, I doubled back and found it after a quick once over. I grimaced as I knelt down to pick it up from the small pool of blood. Why did adventuring have to be so gross? Building robots was so much clean-

"Ow!"

I quickly withdrew my fingers from the sword, suckling on them to ease the pain a little. Damn static shocks. You never know when they're going…to…strike. Huh.

Taking my fingers out of my mouth, I stared into my reflection on the blade. My genius mind was already picturing blueprints and calculating hypothetical equations.

"I think that just gave me an evil idea…"

Long after we returned to Axel, selling the rabbit hides and taking another small chunk out of the debt we owed to the capital, I hunkered down in my lab to begin work. Hopefully what I had in mind would not only prove me right, but also help our party become a little more...efficient moving forward.

Let's be real: while the fact that Darkness was selfish was fantastic progress on the road to corruption, her selfishness was a handicap to our overall success more than anything. Putting yourself before others is great and all, but it kinda becomes counterproductive when it also gimps your own evil team.

She fulfills the role as the party's self-appointed meat shield fine enough - great even, better than anyone could ever ask for (or even know they wanted at all)! But if she wasn't so damn stubborn about not learning offensive skills, she'd become both the immovable object and the unstoppable force!

And that's why tonight I was planning on making that happen, one way or another.

After running a few painful but necessary trial runs, I eventually finished up my little experiment, giddy as I plucked it off the workbench. Admittedly, I was kinda looking forward to this, strange as it may sound. It was oddly cathartic thinking about how I wasn't the only morally dubious person in the party, even if Dark's sliver of indecency was small by comparison.

Hiding the present(s) behind my back, I made my way upstairs in search of the blonde not-so-good-doer. I tried knocking on her bedroom door first, only to be greeted with silence, letting me know she probably wasn't in there. I roamed the halls for a while, calling out her name like one would do for a dog, but no dice. Was she always this hard to track or what?

My search eventually led me to the living room, where I found Megumin and Aqua in their pajamas playing a game of chess on the floor. The latter appeared to be deep in concentration (rare sight to behold) while the former snacked on one of the sugar-free candy bars I gave her. Seems she was none the wiser to my trick so far.

"Yo, you guys see Darkness around? I got a little something-something I wanted to show her, heh."

Megumin and Aqua glanced up at me, confusion passing by both their faces before they seemed to decide it wasn't worth asking. They shrugged and pointed down the adjoining hall.

"Dojo."

I blinked. "As in a little green dragon or the place where you train?"

"The training place," Megumin clarified while giving me another strange look. "Why would a dojo ever refer to a dragon of all things?"

I waved her off. "Eh, don't worry about it, I just got tripped up. Didn't realize this house even had a dojo. First time I'm hearing about it."

"That's our little basement dweller: too creepy to come out of his hidey hole to survey his surroundings," Aqua idly and rudely commented as she moved one of her pieces across the board. "My Adventurer switches to the Archer class and snipes your Swordmaster!"

"It's a cellar. Not a basement," I corrected irritably before taking a closer look at the game she was playing. Upon further inspection, it wasn't actually chess, or at least not the version I was familiar with. It seemed to be this world's analog to chess, with the pieces resembling real adventurer classes. And based off of Aqua's last declared move, it was safe to assume that the rules in this version were drastically different.

"Just wait until I get my Crimson Demon piece on the board! Your Archer will die before the awesome might of Explosion!" Megumin announced dramatically to her opponent. She put her act on pause though to say something to me. "Oh, the dojo is down the hall, hard left, make a right. Can't miss it."

With a drawn out noise of confirmation, I awkwardly showed myself. I'll have to ask the GuardBots later if they also knew we had a dojo. If they did, then…wow. No wonder everyone used to break into my old home. I'm unobservant as fuck.

"By the way - Jack! What's with this candy you gave me!? It tastes kinda...!"

I hurriedly followed Megumin's directions, dodging her incriminating questions as they faded the further I walked away. I did end up finding the dojo fairly easily. The process was assisted by the fact that I could hear Darkness training away inside. Her shouts and grunts rang loud and clear as I stood outside, weighing my options as I clutched my latest experiment.

For whatever reason, I elected to lean out behind the entrance and take a peek. Don't ask me why, I don't have an answer.

Activating my Lurk skill, I peered inside. Sure enough, we had a dojo alright. Along with a Darkness doing an intense round of sit-ups…with no armor on…leaving her in nothing but her skin tight black bodysuit and -

Holy shit…were those the outlines of, of… ABS~!?

I threw myself backwards, colliding roughly with the wall behind me as I desperately tried to catch my breath. It was no secret that Darkness was ripped, as evident by all the muscle jokes we made to poke fun at her. Yet it somehow didn't occur to me that she'd be toned enough to develop a six pack! Those were the hottest things to me next to big boobs - WHICH SHE ALSO HAS!

I slapped myself with the special tech gloves I made for Darkness.

"Pull yourself together, man! Remember why you're here!"

"Jack? Is that you?"

Crap. In my attempt to stop ogling my friend, she stopped what she was doing and looked around the room. I wanted to do this more casually, but screw it, might as well get it over with.

I deactivated Lurk and waved stiffly at Darkness. "Hiya, Dark..."

"Jack! I thought that was your voice. Why were you invisible just outside the dojo?" Darkness questioned, before she fidgeted slightly and straight-up drooled. "Unless...you were here to spy on me as I worked out, weren't you!? Violating my obscene body with your blood-red eyes as my b-bodysuit leaves my assets more exposed than ever!"

Seek professional help, Darkness. It'll do you wonders.

"N...No!" I denied, cringing as my voice cracked. "I only swung by because I thought I'd do what friends do and, uh…y'know...hang out? Err, YEAH, that's it! Hang out!"

Darkness managed to drop the wet daydream as she raised a brow. "You wanted to hang out with me...while being invisible?"

"Well...I heard it was the latest trend among adventurers," I lied smoothly, taking advantage of her nobility naivety. "But then it occurred to me that Crusaders can't learn the Lurk skill, so...yeah, that's a bust. But we can still hang out in the visible light spectrum if you'd like!"

"Huh...I've never heard of a trend like that before. A shame my class restricts me from using the Lurk skill. I would've loved to partake in such a quaint social custom!"

Good thing the aristocrats of this world lacked common sense...wait, that applies to the aristocrats of my world too.

"Regardless, I don't mind us spending more time together. Although it would be easier for me to believe that's all you wanted if you weren't staring so... intensely at me right now..."

Shit, did she catch me eyeing her abs!? It's not my fault her bodysuit really accentuates them! I was just trying to keep my gaze downwards to avoid the risk of checking out her tits - HORMONES! Knock it off!

"SORRY, sorry! I just…had no idea you were so ripped!" I blurted out. It made me want to facepalm then and there. "I know the others and I teased you about it, but seriously, I'd kill for abs like those! N-Nice work on your core...?"

Socially dense though I may be, even I was aware of how self-conscious Darkness was about her muscles. So when she looked away from me and tried to cover up her abs with her arms, I kicked myself. Maybe we were teasing her a little too much; I was only trying to give a compliment like she wanted.

"O-Oh, well, um…thank you, I guess? It's really not that big of a deal," Dark murmured quietly, barely managing a glance in my direction. "To be honest, I'm actually somewhat ashamed of my physique. It's not terribly ladylike for a noblewoman like me to have a muscular frame..."

"Ladylike, shmadylike!" I blurted out of protest, not believing what I was hearing. "You have abs, so what? Be proud of them! They're the best things to ever grace the human body! Guys and girls alike have debated over which is best: boobs, ass, thighs, or biceps. And while they're all equally valid in their own respect, I say abs trump all! Don't even get me started on-!"

My eyes shot open once I realized what the hell I was saying out loud. I forgot this wasn't the same as debating with a faceless stranger on an internet chatroom. Better course-correct, fast!

"A-Anyway, don't be ashamed of your body. You only got that way because you enjoy working out and staying fit. It's a sign of dedication. Like I said, I'd kill for abs like those."

Darkness continued to fidget, but was now able to steadily meet my gaze. She even managed a small, hopefully thankful smile as she slowly retracted her hands, instead lacing them together as she seemed to compose herself.

"I...suppose you make a valid point. Perhaps I should learn to take more pride in my appearance. I really do work hard to maintain it, don't I?"

"That you do," I said with a sincere nod.

Praying now that this doesn't give her a big head. It's hard enough clashing with Aqua and Megumin's egos.

Darkness took a quick sigh of relief before asking, "So...you really tracked me down just to talk then?"

"Huh? Oh! Uh…kinda?" I admitted lamely, stalling somewhat in order to work myself up to present her my gift. "Actually, before I get into the real reason, why are you exercising this late? Don't you normally train during the day?"

"Well, uh, I was actually hoping to brute force my way through my current dilemma," Darkness replied after a beat, seemingly still a bit uncomfortable after the talk from earlier this morning. "Megumin's words struck a chord within me, but...it is so terribly simple to ask someone to change and so very hard to make said change happen, is it not?"

Ah, the sweet smell of selfishness~

"Hmm…interesting," I commented, sporting a small but genuine smile as I braced myself. "Well, lucky for you, you have a benevolent evil teen genius for a leader. And I have something I think you and I are both gonna like. So, uh…HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

On that note, I presented my latest project: a pair of shoulder-length gloves, black and white in color with yellow accents dancing along the sides. It had a few circular conductors visible on the exterior, giving off the slightest cyan glow. I did my best to design them with Dark's usual armor set in mind.

"Oh. Uh…why thank you, Jack," Darkness replied slowly, making me irrationally upset on the inside. Didn't sound like she was super thrilled about it. "My birthday isn't until April but I appreciate the sentiment all the same. These are supposed to be gloves, yes?"

"Not just any gloves!" I replied, attempting to regain that spark of excitement. "These babies are gonna help you finally hit something, while still getting your kicks in the process!"

As soon as I handed off the equipment to a hesitant Darkness, I began scouring the room for something that could be used as a training dummy. There had to have been, like, a broom closet that Sena and her goons overlooked when they ransacked our house. As I kept looking, I heard Darkness voice her concerns.

"Jack? I'm a little confused. How are these gloves meant to be the solution to all our problems? And what are you looking for?"

"These!" I gestured to the motherlode when I opened a door and found five training dummies perfect for the job.

"...now I'm really confused."

"What else is new?" I snarked while dragging out one of the dummies and setting it up in front of Darkness. "Alright, here's what I want you to do. Try and hit this dummy as is. No tricks, nothing fancy. Just go for it as you normally would."

While she still looked a little unsure, a spark of her true greedy nature resurfaced as she panted, "You mean after all that has transpired today, you would have the gall to force me to make a fool of myself for your own amusement!? H…How shrewd~"

Usually I'd take comments about my character like that in style. But in this context? I was going to need a cold shower afterwards.

"Just take your sword and hit the dummy, dummy," I reiterated in a flat tone, focusing on the task at hand to prevent another blush from forming. "I'd like to do a little compare and contrast before and after you equip the gloves. You'll see what I mean soon enough."

Darkness nodded and went to retrieve a wooden training sword from a nearby rack. Once she got her fake weapon, she stepped closer to the dummy, reeled back, and attempted a straightforward stab strike.

She missed by an inconceivable margin.

"Darkness…" I uttered after collecting my dropped jaw. "How is that physically possible!? Like, c'mon! Were you even trying!? "

"I'm just clumsy, okay!?" she shouted back while beet red.

"'Clumsy' my ass! Even if you never picked up a sword skill, it shouldn't make hitting crap with one impossible! Get those gloves on, NOW!"

The Crusader made a noise teetering on the edge a hentai wail as she followed my direct order. I merely sighed and gave her a moment to settle down.

It shouldn't have been a surprise to see her miss a stationary target, yet somehow I was still let down. I knew nothing about swordplay prior to selecting a skill for it, but if you gave the old Jack Spicer a dagger anyway, he'd be more of a threat than Darkness! I could've easily stabbed a Heylin monster or two back on Earth…maybe.

Admittedly, my mood improved a little once Darkness put on the gloves. Seeing her admire another of my inventions with wonder and fascination put a genuine smile on my face. I almost forgot the pride of having my genius recognized after years of people not taking me seriously.

"Alright, the computational bot embedded in the wrists should have had enough time to register its user and scan the immediate environment," I said mostly to myself. I gave a cheeky smirk to Darkness when she looked confused over my science talk. "Look alive, Stormtrooper! Try hitting the dummy now and see where that gets ya."

Darkness raised an eyebrow at me calling her a Stormtrooper, but didn't ask as she assumed another stance away from the dummy. Before I knew it, she lurched forward with a determined shout. Her blade was already steering way off course.

"HIYAAAAA - Kyaaa~!? "

Her battle cry morphed into a pleased yet confused moan of pain as the gloves administered a controlled shock to her arms. They violently jerked back into the intended direction, resulting in Darkness - for once in her life - hitting her target. The dummy shattered from the raw strength she had put into the swing of her wooden sword.

I let out a whoop, clapping at the success of both my friend and my invention. Darkness stood panting, overexerted and aroused at having her arms suddenly zapped out of nowhere. When she looked back at me expectantly, I explained.

"Like your new gift? They're Jack Spicer's Evil Electroshock GloveBots! The glowing conductors running along the sides aren't just for show. They apply shocks to specific areas of your arm muscles right as you're about to miss. The computational bot in the wrist compartment runs constant calculations on the movement, speed, and position of your arms before predicting the most optimal path to give you a…let's say 'push' in the right direction. The intensity of the shocks are also calculated accordingly, and sometimes even randomly to keep you from getting used to it. Genius, isn't it?"

"I… agree, yes! I actually got to hit something like a proper Crusader!" Darkness cheered as she turned to me, thrilled and just a little hot-and-bothered. "And the wonderful stinging sensation I was subjected to - remarkable! Like getting zapped by Yunyun's Cursed Lightning attack exclusively on my arms! Jack, THANK YOU for this beautiful self-torture device!"

"I…wouldn't phrase it like that myself, but don't mention it!" I chuckled awkwardly before trying to clear my throat. "Uh, with the gloves on, not only can you properly do your job while still getting your daily dose of pain, you also don't have to worry about wasting skill points on the Two-Handed Sword skill. You can just keep dumping them all into defense and further scratch that selfish itch of yours. Everybody wins!"

Just like that, Darkness's bright smile faltered and she turned away from me, bangs obscuring her expression. At first I was irritated since I expected this meant she was gonna try and get back up on her stupid moral high horse again. But then the thought of how upset she'd looked when Megumin called her out earlier crossed my mind. It made me want to hold my tongue for once.

I think…I think I was actually going to think before I speak. If there was one thing I hated more than my evilness being put into question, it was seeing a friend of mine genuinely upset. For the sake of Dark's happiness, I was willing to backpedal a bit.

"Uh…y'know, prolonged exposure to the zaps should help you develop muscle memory after a while. Theoretically, there should come a time when you won't even need the gloves or a sword skill to kick monster butt. Plus, it's still your gift, do whatever you want with it. Feel free to do…'stuff' with it on your own time. So, uh…y-yeah."

Will I ever stop putting my foot in my mouth?

Anyway, since I was facing away from her, I jumped slightly when I felt a hand connect with my shoulder. When I turned to face Darkness again, the smile on her face was enough to make swallowing my pride worth it. Sure as hell wasn't gonna turn into a habit, though.

"Yes, well, I greatly appreciate the gift all the same. Thank you," she said in a soft tone of voice that I could fall asleep to. "Thank you for not only the gift, but for being so…patient with me. I am truly blessed by Eris to have you and the others as my friends. In fact, if I may be so bold…I would go as far as to consider you all my family. Not by blood, of course, but in the way you consider your robots your family."

Darkness's cheeks flushed as she looked away shyly. "I, uh, hope that doesn't come off as presumptuous of me."

"N-No, not at all…" I managed meekly. Evil though I may be, it was really nice to know that I had friends – a family – to come home to. World domination is nice and all, but it'd be awfully lonely without anyone else by your side. "That's really sweet of you, Dark. I guess you're part of my family too."

"Consider me honored!" Darkness cemented, slapping my back and immediately fretting over me when she forgot her own strength. I reassured her I've had worse, which unsurprisingly made her a little envious. She was a weirdo alright, but she was my weirdo. Same goes for Aqua and Megumin.

"Right, well, you have fun with your new toy. I'm heading back to the lab," I declared, stopping at the threshold of the dojo to cast a glance back at her, nervous again.

"Say…think you could still hook me up with that adamantite stuff later? Misunderstood rich kids like ourselves gotta stick together, right? And you did kinda promise already, sooo…"

"Oh, certainly! I should be able to reach out to my contacts next time we go into town, no problem," Darkness answered eagerly, dispelling my nerves with surprising ease. Still, she did flush a bit as she continued, tilting her head away. "O-Of course, being indebted to my party leader does have its advantages, doesn't it?"

I truly didn't know what to say to that. So I parted with a safe, "Yeah sure, night," and took my leave. Once I was out of her line of sight, I released a breath of built up anxiety and wiped my brow.

"Heh. Jack Spicer, you really know how to treat your partners in crime~"

It's a shame none of the other villains back home ever saw it that way. They might have been less inclined to ditch me every five minutes otherwise.

As I strolled down the hall feeling very proud of myself, I stumbled over my own feet when I noticed Aqua and Megumin leaning by one of the walls, seemingly waiting for me. Their expressions were…unreadable, I couldn't pin down anything too obvious. What was this about?

"Oh, hey guys. Again," I greeted, opting to play it casually. "So who won the game?"

"Megumin. Her Crimson Demon piece saved up enough skill points to learn Explosion and she flipped the board," Aqua admitted bitterly, further proving that this world's version of chess was nothing like Earth chess. She shook her head and glared at me. "So...you mind telling us what that was all about back there?"

I scratched my head at what she was referring to when it clicked: they must've followed me to the dojo and overheard everything. Oh god, I have to be absolutely sure about something first!

"You didn't hear the thing about the abs, did you!?"

Aqua and Megumin both looked completely flummoxed by that. Seems they weren't around to hear me gushing about abs and other female body parts. Thank Christ.

"Uh...no? We meant the gloves you gave her," Megumin explained after a beat.

"Oh, that. What's not to understand? Feels pretty self-explanatory to me."

"Jack, you made gloves that fucking shock Darkness! The hell's the matter with you!?" Megumin cried, her eyes glowing red. "I don't care if you're the 'evil bad guy' or whatever, that's just sick!"

"Yeah, I know! The gloves are pretty sick, aren't they?"

I doubled back when I noticed how both ladies did not share my enthusiasm.

"Oh, you didn't mean 'sick' in the cool way, did you?"

"NO! We very much meant it in the UNCOOL way!" Aqua retorted, wildly gesturing in the direction of the dojo. "You can't just shock Darkness into fighting correctly! It's, like, super unethical!"

Unethical? No duh, they're called Evil Electroshock GloveBots for a reason. But uncool? Nuh-uh, objectively incorrect. Time to get serious and explain why they're wrong.

"Aqua, we're talking about a woman who's survived two Explosions at point blank range and came out of both with a dopey grin on her face. Little controlled zaps to the arms are nothing in comparison. Besides, she said she appreciated my gift, especially when it helped her hit a training dummy. Darkness is a masochist – a pain junkie – she consents to the whole thing. The gloves will recondition her muscle memory, she won't get all mopey about spending skill points, and everyone else reaps in the benefits. So what's the problem here again?"

Aqua and Megumin continued to give me scrutinizing stares. I could tell that they were trying their hardest to formulate a counterargument, some "wise moral grandstand". And yet, as the seconds ticked away, my smile grew more and more as they visibly faltered. It was Aqua who was the first to relent, sighing before crossing her arms and giving me one last warning glare.

"Alright, Jack. Against my godly judgment, I'm going to trust that you know what you're doing because you're my friend. But if this turns out to be a front for some disgusting form of play, you're going to be making multiple visits to Eris for me. Get it?"

"Hey, HEY! Ease up on the threats! I'm a teenager, not a sex freak!" I shot back in offense. I had my weaknesses, sure, but being a horny bastard wasn't one of them! "My intentions are in no way sexual, I promise!"

The water goddess stared deep into my eyes, making me fidget from the prolonged contact before she eventually exhaled through her nostrils and dropped her glare.

"Okay, I believe you. Just...keep an eye on Darkness, alright? I'm a little worried about how much she wants to 'help' people. If those gloves really help her out, great, but until we see as much...make sure she doesn't get us all killed."

"You have my word as an evil genius," I promised with a smile, putting up my hands and wiggling my fingers. "See? No fingers crossed! That's how you know I'm being genuine."

Aqua rolled her eyes at the gesture before walking down the adjoining hall, probably planning on crashing for the night. Megumin, however, waited by me as I shot her a questioning look.

"Gold coin for your thoughts, M-Bomb?"

"...you think Darkness is doing okay?" The young mage asked quietly, catching me by surprise with just how serious she sounded. "Over what I said today I mean. She was really quiet for a while, and now that she's got those gloves..."

What made her think I knew the answer? I'm a mad scientist for badness sake, not a shrink! Still, I should probably say something to ease Megumin's worries, even if it meant pulling something out of my ass. Just hope whatever comes out of my mouth next will be enough to satiate her.

Since when did trying to turn my friends evil get so convoluted?

"I…think she's gonna be okay. Mostly. I think all you did was help open her eyes a little," I admitted, stuffing my hands into my pockets as I shrugged. "You know how she is, Megumin. She wants to help people, even if it's in a weirder way than how most good guys would go about it. All she needed was a second opinion. Nothing to worry over, yeah?"

I watched in suspense as Megumin lowered her gaze to the ground, seemingly mulling over my words. Just when it felt like the pressure was going to crush me, my anxiety simmered when I noticed a ghost of a smile pass on the girl's lips.

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks for giving it to me straight, Jack. I was worried I might've made her reconsider her life choices. I know from experience how soul-crushing that can be. Glad to know I was worrying over nothing."

"Welcome to my world," I semi-joked with her, the two of us sharing a chuckle over it. Once again, relative peace has been restored amongst my closest (and only) friends. Let's try to keep it that way.

Just then, Megumin and I noticed a lone GuardBot hovering right on by. I flagged him down to ask him something important.

"Hey, Paul! Did you know this house had a dojo?"

"Of course, sir!" GB-P4UL confirmed a bit too enthusiastically before registering my grimace. "Were…you not made aware of it?"

The asshole mage beside me practically collapsed where she stood, holding onto her sides as she doubled-over laughing.

"SHUT UP!"

One-Shot Bears.

Bear-like monsters with Attack stats on par with most Dragons, the strongest creatures this world has to offer. They could split trees in half and give even the most experienced and high-leveled adventurers pause. If this thing so much as breathes on you, there was a good chance you weren't going to live to tell the tale. Thus the name, One-Shot Bears.

Now, an endgame monster notorious for insta-kills usually wouldn't be spotted this far out in the countryside, where all the novices gather. But back when the Mobile Fortress Destroyer still ravaged the lands, a lot of monsters were forced to migrate away from it. This, in turn, led to a lot of high-leveled monsters from the capital area coming down here unopposed.

Dangerous monsters like One-Shot Bears meant big money for us. Taking on even a few of these quests would make significant progress in our debt.

"Explain to me why I can't just use Explosion the second we see it?"

I sighed as we all stood at the edge of a shrouded forest, waiting for the JackBots to come lure out our target. "Because I'd like for Darkness to get a chance to test out her new gloves. Besides, I'd rather you save it in case we get a big cluster. Didn't you learn anything from the Lovely Rabbit kill-quest?"

"I've learned not to trust you with the snack printer," Megumin grumbled ruefully. "Next time, I get to pick out my candy. You still owe me for trying to pass off that sugar-free crap!"

I side-eyed Aqua.

"Don't look at me! I knew better than to snitch! It's your own fault for underestimating a Crimson Demon's cleverness. She was bound to catch on."

"Don't think you're off the hook either, Aqua," Megumin warned. "You were an accomplice, so that makes you just as culpable. You'll both get what's coming to you soon enough…"

"It's not fair…" Darkness moped while kicking the ground. "My friends get to be subjected to a revenge plot but not I? It's bad enough the One-Shot Bear likely won't be able to get a hit on me. The zaps are nice, yes, but can they hope to compare to the meaty punch of a ravenous beast?"

I may need to increase the voltage on those gloves in the near future.

"You'll get hurt no matter what, don't worry," I reassured the hopeless masochist. "We'll wait for a bear or two to come out, Aqua will buff your stats with Blessing, and the gloves will do the rest."

"I still think you're overestimating Darkness's defenses," Aqua said bluntly. "Explosions are one thing, but are you that confident she can handle a One-Shot Bear? You're becoming quite trashy for how you treat girls, y'know."

M-Bomb, Dark, and I took turns roughly pinching Aqua's cheeks, each for our own separate reasons. Still, it was nice knowing I wasn't the only one who could accidentally offend their friends.

Suddenly, a thunderously loud roar shook the tree line before us. The sounds of something very big and very pissed started to get closer.

"We found one!"

The leading JackBot frantically beeped as he and his team flew out of the forest as fast as their propulsion jets would allow. But before the last bot, JB-J3NK1N5, could make it to the clearing, a beefy arm shot out of the shadows, holding the poor thing in place. It was then that a bipedal brown bear stepped out of the shadows.

It…wasn't anything like I had imagined it.

Instead of some gnarly, unkempt beast, the One-Shot Bear looked like something out of a kid's cartoon. It had the arms of a bodybuilder, legs that were way too stumpy, a beer gut with an outie belly button, and a tiny head more akin to a teddy bear than that of an actual bear. With how disproportional its whole body was, it was a wonder the thing didn't topple over from its own weight.

I probably would've laughed at how ridiculous the animal looked if it didn't proceed to pull a power move right in front of me.

The One-Shot Bear…balled up my robot while he was still beeping, oil dripping out between the creaking metal and electrical sparks flying. It discarded my now ball-shaped baby while the remaining units drew out their chest-mounted plasma guns, chassis quaking in fear.

I turned to the girls.

"WHY DID YOU LET ME PICK THIS QUEST!?"

Darkness took the initiative by unsheathing her sword. "Everyone, get behind me! Aqua, Blessing! NOW!"

Not fucking around anymore, Aqua spammed her Blessing spell on the Crusader, buffing her already excellent stats while we all followed her instructions and took cover. Amazingly, the One-Shot Bear seemed intelligent enough to understand the concept of being cocky, as it did the "come at me" gesture with its disturbingly human hands.

Even more amazingly, Darkness did not take to vocalizing her self-degrading fantasies out loud, nor did she take the bait. She stared the bear down, steadying her breathing.

"You have taken your last life today, monster. With Lady Eris as my witness, I shall avenge…um…"

Darkness glanced awkwardly at the JackBots behind her. "What was that one's name?"

"JB-J3NK1N5. 'Jenkins', ma'am," answered the leader of the recon team. "And he's technically still with us via the cloud network. But please, make that mammal pay all the same."

Darkness didn't quite understand the bot's words, but she gave a simple nod before turning her attention back to the bear. She further raised her blade and dug her heels into the dirt, preparing to lunge forward with one last resolute sentiment.

"For Jenkins…"

One-Shot Bear roared, followed by Darkness as the two opponents charged head-on at each other. The GloveBots hummed to life, casting the Crusader's arms in a light cyan aura as the electrical conductors prepared to deliver shocks to her muscles.

The bear reared back its paw as it began to glow like Aqua's fist when she was about to deliver a God Blow. The gesture did nothing to deter the Crusader as she homed in on the monster, and right as it went in for the punch…

Fist and sword collided, powerful enough to send a miniature shockwave across the field. Sparks flew as though the blade was being put to a grindstone rather than flesh and bone. It was truly raw as fuck, I have to admit. But it was also scary at the same time. How thick was the skin on that bear!?

The stalemate broke off, Darkness was on the offensive thanks to the gloves guiding her swings in the right direction. One-Shot Bear blocked each strike with the sheer mass of its bulging biceps.

"Exhilarating~!" Darkness couldn't help but cry in between swings. "It's like this grotesque thing knows it hurts for me to attack, and is choosing to stall so that it can prolong my suffering~!"

The One-Shot Bear faltered, probably because it too recognized there was something seriously wrong with this chick. But that left it open for the GloveBots to get a slash across its belly, which turned out to be far more susceptible to cuts than its arms. The gouge went deep, and the bear roared in pain as blood started gushing out.

"Feeling queasy…" I muttered while subconsciously clutching my stomach.

The pained roars of the One-Shot Bear ended abruptly when Darkness cleanly sliced its head off. I turned my head away at that point to avoid looking at anything more graphic. I was still getting used to seeing real-life monster gore, and I try not to think about it too much.

Thankfully, the bear's body slumped over in a way where I wouldn't see its draining neck stump. The rolling, decapitated head off to the side was admittedly round and cartoonish enough for me to stomach seeing. Although the friendly smile it had on throughout the brief fight was still there, making it kinda creepy.

Darkness's panting provided a much-needed distraction (never thought I'd admit that). She had fallen to her knees after the battle, shivering in pleasure from all the electroshocks the gloves had given her. But she also displayed childlike giddiness over her first, true victory; similar to when she hit the dummy last night.

"I…I did it. I actually did it! I-I fought a monster and I won! Heh… Hahaha! I really am a viable Crusader! Oh, if only Chris could see me now! She'd be so proud of her best friend, haha!"

"Way to go, Dark! Nature's Beauty~!" Aqua cheered, popping off celebratory party tricks. "You sure showed that mean old bear! And it was all thanks to my Blessing! It's never too late to convert to the Axis Church, you know!"

"Quit trying to advertise your religion, you nut," Megumin lightly scolded before congratulating Dark with a smile. "But she's right, you really put that monster in its place! Darkness, Lewd Noble with a Heart of Gold, dominated the battlefield and looked really cool while doing it! They shall sing your exploits at many taverns for generations to come!"

The older woman finally cooled down, though her blush stayed thanks to the praise being dumped on her. I imagine she wasn't used to this sort of treatment and had no real "defense" for it (if you'll pardon the pun). She rubbed her tingling arms shyly before nodding in my direction.

"Thank you, but it's really Jack you should be praising. Had he not invented these amazing gloves for me, I wouldn't have been able to secure this victory all by myself. His methods may be cruel and strange, but he truly is a genius where it counts."

Dang, being called cruel and a genius? This girl was gonna make me blush…which is why I had to turn away, busying myself with retrieving what was left of Jenkins.

"I know, I know, I'm amazing. Just hit me up if you have any questions about the gloves or if they need adjustments."

I heard Aqua say something about "tsunderes" as I went to pick up the JackBot ball that stupid bear made. It was definitely beyond salvaging; it'd be easier to build a new body for Jenkins. I've got my work cut out for me, don't I?

But as I discreetly glanced back at Darkness beaming at the girls…I felt a little warm inside. One of my inventions really did make a friend happy.

…

Maybe I would go easy on her for being so selfish. Wouldn't want to ruin the moment. And there's always other bad traits we can try coaxing out of her. For example, her lying still needs some serious work.

I was suddenly brought out of my ruminations by a chorus of roars. My eyes doubled in size as a pack of One-Shot Bears emerged from the forest. They may have been smiling, but I could tell they were not happy...

Megumin jumped for joy. "At last! A group of high-leveled monsters all huddled together! Time to farm some XP! Darkness blacker than black and darker than - "

We were forced to retreat as the idiot took too long with the chant.

Future Swood here. For trivial context, this chapter originally had a fake-out character death where a JackBot named Jenkins gets destroyed by the One-Shot Bear. For whatever reason, past me was stupid enough to think fictional robot AI worked by having all the memory banks or whatever stored entirely in the emotion chip (which would obviously have been crushed beyond repair).

Well...I guess that technically COULD be true since it's a fictional robot and you can justify anything with sci-fi nonsense but...uh, Idk, lol. Just thought it was dumb looking back considering Jack would likely have contingencies for backing up and updating his robots' AI. So Jenkins lives on, hooray!