When I woke back up, the first thing I registered was that whatever I was lying on was a helluva lot softer than the floor.
Sitting up, I realized I'd been moved to my bed in my room upstairs. I rubbed my eyes as my body started to wake me up, pinching the bridge of my nose as I struggled to recall exactly what happened before I passed out.
"Oh, hey, he's awake," I heard Megumin's voice say. Groaning, I sat up to find my party plus Kazuma and Yunyun all huddled in my room, doing what they could to make themselves comfortable. "How you feeling, Jack?"
"…indifferent…" I moaned, rubbing my slightly aching forehead. "God, I didn't get drunk a second time, did I?"
"Not even close," Kazuma huffed, catching my attention as he leaned on the far wall with his arms crossed. "Getting drunk would've been a blessing compared to what that stupid crystal did."
My face scrunched up in confusion before the last thing I remembered came back to me. "Oh yeah…that's a lot to unpack, isn't it?" I sighed as I pulled my legs up and hugged them. "I'm not sure where to even begin with all that."
"Join the club. Not having too good of a time with it myself," Kazuma replied while averting his gaze, shifting a little against the wall.
Another beat of silence followed. The girls looked between us, not quite sure what to do either from the looks of it. After a few seconds, though, I forced myself to speak.
"So your parents sucked too, huh?"
Kazuma glanced back at me when I said that, face unreadable. "They...weren't always that bad. I'll admit, I kinda set myself up for that one, and I'm still mad that they laughed at my death. But...shit, I don't even really know how to feel."
"Not that it's a contest, but at least my folks had the decency to say, 'I love you,' before they left their toddler to fend for himself. Yours literally beat you up...even if it was kinda deserved."
"They..." Kazuma tried to find his words, failed, but babbled on anyway in frustration. "Fuck! They're the ones that paid for my school tuition, okay!? And what did I do to thank them for trying to make sure I get a good education? Waste their money by becoming a hikikomori!"
"A what?" I couldn't help but ask, confused by his Japanese term.
"A shut-in! NEET! Recluse! Hermit! There's a million different names for it!" Kazuma clarified in exasperation. Just when I thought he was going on a rant, however, he calmed himself down enough to lower his voice.
"You already saw what my school life was like, so don't act so surprised. Between the bullying and my old childhood crush moving on without me, I just...couldn't handle it anymore. I stopped attending school after a while and snuck back into the house to play video games, even when my parents were notified of my absences. But, for whatever reason, they just decided to let me rot in peace. Never knew why nor did I have the courage to ask them. Probably disgraced the family name if I had to guess. Whatever. Not it like it matters now that I'm finally out of their hair..."
Part of me wanted to point out how at least some of Kazuma's problems in his last life could be attributed to him. But I held my tongue because, deep down, I could relate to all the other shit that wasn't his fault; the stuff that was out of his control. In his own weird (albeit kinda perverted) way, he was just trying to fit in. Not unlike me back in my early days, which he no doubt saw flash before his eyes like it did mine.
In some ways, we really were in the same loner boat, weren't we?
"...school's overrated anyway," I said in an attempt to try and lighten the mood. "Even if you're not a genius like me, the educational system is just plain flawed. I dunno how it is in Japan, but in America? Pffft! I'm almost surprised my country made it as one of the global superpowers!"
That actually earned an amused snort from Kazuma. "Won't argue with ya there. And it's not like I learned all that much when I was still attending classes. I wouldn't call myself a 'genius' but I'm obviously not dumb if my Intelligence stat has anything to say. Maybe you're onto something about the system being flawed."
"Just one of the many reasons why I want to rule the world, if only to not let dumb people keep ruling it. By the way, your evil monologuing from your your youth could use some serious work. Sounded more heroic than villainous."
"God, the two chuunis just had to see my own chuuni phase..." Kazuma groaned into his hands, making me slightly annoyed with his implications. "But for the record, that's because my persona was meantto be a hero. At least in his 'home dimension'. It's not always about cursed evil eyes, even if I did wear the eyepatch."
"If I didn't give away my own seal to one of Jack's robots, I'd take offense to that," Megumin couldn't help but butt in.
Kazuma and I both chuckled at that. But Megumin speaking up reminded me that the girls were still present, and one in particular was very keen on averting her gaze from us.
"Oh, by the way, AQUA," I started with an intent glare, mildly pleased seeing the goddess jump in fear upon being outed. "Care to explain exactly how I died again? Last I checked, I was told I kicked the bucket in the most humiliating fashion and had people laugh over my corpse. But something about that truck running me over didn't exactly scream stopped to me. And how come Kazuma's aftermath more closely matches the story you gave me, huh?"
Aqua shifted from foot to foot, a surprisingly subdued frown on her face as she laced her hands together. When she finally offered an answer, her tone was softer than usual, and far more composed.
"So...I might've accidentally mixed up your files when you both died? Or one of the pencil pushers in the Background Department gave me the wrong ones? I-I don't know, but I'm really sorry! I honestly didn't mean to lie to you about that..."
It was so rare to see Aqua look and sound genuinely regretful over her actions. So much so that it was enough for me to drop the glare momentarily to stare at her with uncertainty.
"So you didn't mean to lie about my death, but you were still willing to laugh over it like those doctors and nurses? What gives!?"
"Look, I just...it was easier to dissociate back then, okay!? Gods aren't exactly instructed to take every single human death and turn it into a spectacle!" Aqua defended, still looking fairly upset as she balled her fists. "I know what I did was shitty, but I didn't know you back then! Not like I do now! It was...hard to care. Because if I let myself slip even once, I'd have to care about every lost soul that came my way…"
Wow. I…never thought of it like way. What she said to me (and by extension Kazuma) still kinda hurt but, at the same time, I also get where she was coming from. If the Grim Reaper had to choose between weeping over every lost soul or being a callous dick to them, I'd imagine he's gonna choose the one that makes his job go faster. That's simply the detached nature of productivity. And I should know, I come from a business family.
"Look, Aqua, I'm not gonna say I'm cool with what you said back there...because I'm not. But I'm also not really that mad at you either," I admitted, offering her a small smile as she eased up a bit. "I can't speak for Green Bean, of course, but I at least see where you're coming from. As far as I'm concerned, we're cool."
The water goddess sighed a great big sigh, her body visibly becoming less rigid in the process. She raked a hand through her blue hair as she smiled softly at me. "Thanks, Jack. I know I may not be the smartest or most considerate sometimes, but I do try my best! It's not easy being a goddess, contrary to popular belief."
"Yeah, I sorta figured. I love power as much as the next guy, but there comes a point where it becomes...overwhelming sometimes," I replied, taking a second to consider my own goals. World domination was right in the sweet spot where I wanted it; just enough control without making life utterly boring.
After addressing Aqua, I turned to address the third party. "Oh yeah, probably should clarify that she really is a goddess. In case that wasn't apparent to you."
"I put two and two together a while ago," Kazuma said in an oddly chill manner. "Don't get me wrong, it was hard for me to fully accept it at first with that awful personality of hers."
"What was that, otaku?" Aqua growled ever so slightly. Kazuma seemed unfazed as he kept going.
"But the longer we hung out...I dunno, it just became a lot more clear over time. That, and I've never seen a normal person puke rainbows after a night of too many drinks. With all that in mind, I'm with Jack: I'm not too mad about the mix-up you made. Hell, it was kind of a blessing in disguise given the whole...y'know."
"In my defense, I wasn't the one who had to sort out all the documentation back in the Heavenly Realm. I just look over what I'm handed prior to guiding a soul," Aqua defended, a small blush tinting her cheeks as she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. "It doesn't happen often but every millennium or so something slips through the cracks. I was just as confused as you two were, so don't go saying this mix up was squarely on me, ya hear!?"
"Didn't you admit you glossed over Jack's alleged file when it mentioned he was the loner type?" Megumin asked the Blue Thing out of the blue.
"...fine, so there was a bit of user error involved!" Aqua huffed, getting more embarrassed as she crossed her arms and pouted like normal. "I already said I was sorry! You guys don't all have to pile on!"
I simply let her off with a dismissive hand wave. It was just Aqua being Aqua. My friend was like a slow puppy: you couldn't really stay mad at her and she was admittedly adorable when doing her best. Well, actually, she was supernaturally hot being a literal goddess from heaven. But I guess there truly is something to be said about a personality making all the difference.
My gaze went back to Kazuma, and we looked at each other for a moment before things became uncomfortable again. Now that what happened with the "Friendship Crystal" happened…what exactly did that make us now?
Well, I'd come to my own conclusion soon enough once Kazuma worked up the nerve first to say something first. "Look, man, I'm gonna level with you: I don't actually hate you as much as I try telling myself. I still think you're a Grade A asshole, but I've also met worse people both here and back home. Although I have come to realize now that you and I are still two very different people, despite some overlap. Regardless, I wanna bury the hatchet between us; start with a clean slate. We don't have to be 'best friends' or anything cliché like that, but I'd rather we both learn to get along. If for no other reason than that we're two Earth humans surviving in this crazy world together. So…whaddya say?"
Always with the complicated social human stuff, wasn't it? I blew out some air as I leaned back on my bed rest, placing my hands in my lap as I mulled over what to say back.
"I'm…not the best when it comes to deciphering my own feelings, let alone others'. I can read my JackBots like open books but can't read the room to save my life. Sometimes literally. That said, after everything that's happened between us…I just don't think staying mad at you is worth it anymore. It's only been making me stressed and bummed out whenever I do. You can be annoying and you kinda give me the creeps, but I'm man enough to admit that I may have crossed the line with almost getting you arrested."
"'May have'?"
"You try finding a loophole with a magic lie-detector on the spot!" I bit back in defense before willing myself to settle back down. "Anyway, um...I guess do sort of appreciate you looking out for me here and there. Whether it's jumping in to help fight a Demon General or just giving me your advice on something. So...thanks."
Kazuma looked at me weirdly for a moment, probably somewhat put off by my shaky attempt at an apology (something I've been good at). If he had a sardonic comeback in mind, he didn't voice it, instead opting to give a quick nod.
"I guess a late thanks is better than no thanks at all. Just glad we can put an end this pointless beef. Although I wish we could've done that without one of Wiz's products opening up old wounds."
"Tell me about it…" I groaned sympathetically. "Reliving all those failed Xiaolin Showdowns was not fun. I came here to get away from that old life, but looks like the multiverse just doesn't want me to escape my past!"
"Oh yeah, that reminds me...YOU NEVER MENTIONED MAGIC EXSISTED ON EARTH!" Kazuma suddenly blew up, my musings having sparked a fire within him over the topic. "Seriously, how the fuck did I never hear about this before!? I literally watched you get turned into a cactus in one memory!"
"I dunno," I supplied with a half-shrug. "But yeah, Earth has magic: ghosts, witches, cyclopes, cursed war lords, mystical Chinese artifacts, the whole shebang. Hell, the planet got conquered on two separate occasions while we were alive. I even have a firsthand account on both. Were you really that much of a shut-in to have not noticed?"
Kazuma didn't respond. He slowly assumed a fetal position on the floor while Yunyun looked on in worry.
"Ugh, please don't speak about the whole 'conquered Earth' incident," Aqua groaned with a head shake. "It was a whole thing up in the Heavenly Realm, heads were rolling. We couldn't focus on work for weeks, and because it started in Asia, I got yelled at for it even though I was just as clueless as everyone else! So not fair!"
"Huh. So you really were aware of all that stuff then," I mused out loud to the goddess. Should've been obvious in hindsight but…this was Aqua we were dealing with here. "Does that also mean you're aware of Shen Gong Wu? They are supposed to maintain balance on Earth, or so I've been told."
"Yeah, I'm aware of them. And whoever told you that doesn't know what they're talking about," Aqua said with a roll of the eyes. "Some 'Grand Master' guy tapped into my realm's mana fifteen-hundred years ago and made his own magic items with it. He totally ripped off the cheats we give to reincarnates. We even had to put up signs to warn newbie gods not to let in that con man!"
"I KNEW there was something weird about those cheats you showed me!" I exclaimed in excitement. My suspicions were confirmed! "So Shen Gong Wu really are the knockoffs, huh? Guess the Xiaolin Order isn't so high and mighty after all!"
A quiet yet strained grunt distracted me from my moment of evil self-righteousness. Oh yeah, Kazuma was still grappling with the whole "Earth-getting-conquered-twice-and-magic-always-being-a-thing" thing.
"Kazuma, it's going to be okay," Yunyun reassured him in a soft yet surprisingly firm tone, similar to how Darkness would speak whenever the situation called for it. "I may not know how you thought your world was supposed to work – hell, I'm still coming to grips with Earth being a world and not a country like I thought – but it shouldn't matter regardless. That was then, this is now. As long as we have each other, we can overcome anything. You've been there for me more times than I can count, so it's only fair that I be there for you when you need it, like right now."
"Where has this stalwart Yunyun been the whole time...?" I overheard Megumin mutter to herself.
Gradually, Kazuma seemed to ease up a bit, the terror seemingly leaving his eyes and being replaced with a look of understanding. "Y-Yeah...you're right. That was a lot to take in all at once is all. Thanks, Yun. Really glad to have you as a friend."
Despite having been Kazuma's partner for a while now, Yunyun still froze in intense joy at being called a friend while also being flustered as hell.
"Well, R.I.P. Stalwart Yunyun. We hardly knew ye," Megumin said sadly while taking off her hat for a moment of silence.
"Megumin, that's not funny!" The flustered Crimson Demon cried to her on-again, off-again rival.
"Hey, don't worry, Green Bean. I get it" I assured my fellow Earthling as the two wizards had their debate. "As a man of science, I was freaked out by the discovery of magic too, especially when Wuya first materialized in my lab. But y'know, after a while, I learned to accept and even tolerate it. If it makes you feel any better, I've studied enough Shen Gong Wu to develop a scientific foundation on the field of magic. It's shaky but I have discovered some method to the madness, and that's what helped me through the coping process. Maybe that'll help put your mind a little at ease?"
"Definitely appreciate the offer. I might even take you up on that in the future. But for now...I think I'm going to go the willful ignorance route," Kazuma replied, offering me a weak smile while shrugging his shoulders loosely. "Push it outta my mind for the foreseeable future and try not think about it. I'll let you know when that stops working and you can share your findings."
"Cool. Wouldn't mind having someone other than a robot to talk about science shit with," I said with a smirk, one which soon faded into an awkward thin line as I scratched the back of my neck. "Sooo…I guess our business is done here, isn't it?"
"Yeah, guess it is," Kazuma agreed, equally awkward in his delivery, as if he too had just realized how weird it felt to finally be chill between us. After a moment, he finally got up off the ground and gestured Yunyun to head to the door with him. "Guess I'll see you around, Goggles."
In spite of myself, I snorted and responded with my own brand of evil snark. "Don't let the door hit ya on the way out, Green Bean."
With a stifled groan, Kazuma made his retreat with his partner in tow, leaving me and the girls alone in my room. Surprisingly, I felt a lot better after we'd managed to reach a consensus on our current standing, It felt good to have that nemesis spot back open for someone more worthy.
"Well, I guess everything worked out in the end!" I cheered lightly, turning to my team and flashing them a refreshed grin of relief.
Unfortunately, that grin wouldn't last long when I noticed how the girls suddenly looked antsy.
"Oh no, I recognize those faces. Those are the 'we need to have a little chat' faces, aren't they? You should know by now I don't exactly care for those."
"Sorry, Jack, but there was something we felt should be discussed after Kazuma and Yunyun left," Darkness apologized, lacing her hands together and staring me down with just a bit too much worry my liking. "About that first memory you destroyed, the one with the balloons and the yellow boy with the round head...you seemed particularly upset by it."
Crap...
"Yeah, well...it was another one of my losses. You saw for yourself how many of those I had, I just got fed up with looking at 'em," I stated plainly, arms crossed and head facing away from the Crusader. "And for future reference, the talking cheeseball's name is Omi. He's one of the monks I told you about."
"Jack, I know you don't like the touchy-feely stuff, but we can't help but be concerned here," Megumin sighed, shooting me a pointed look as I glanced back in their direction. "Something about that memory, above the rest, made you lash out. What was it?"
"You know, prying into my personal baggage even after you saw it all on film is cruel. Even by my standards," I said bluntly, doing my best to steady my voice as my underarms began to sweat from the pressure my friends were putting on me. Why must they do this?
"Jack, please! We just...we only want to help! Or at the very least understand why you're troubled," Darkness insisted with slight agitation. However, no sooner had her frustration flared, it was gone. It melted away as her eyes softened and the walls guarding my shameful secret threatened to crumble. "I know you don't have to tell us anything, and at the end of the day we can't force you to...but we'd certainly appreciate it if you did?"
I sucked in a shaky breath, bringing my legs up to hug them again. The truth was that a part of me really did want to tell them about it. Desperately so. They were my first real friends, and that memory was something that's always haunted me in the back of my mind. I wanted some proper closure on it.
The only problem? My first real friends were good guys who still technically don't believe in or appreciate my evilness. If I told them that I once tried to turn good out of my own free will, they'd never let me hear the end of it. I don't want to be good, dammit, I want to be evil! But I also want to keep my friends, even if they were good guys! The fuck do I even do!?
…
Bury my face in my knees and start sobbing quietly, that's what. Like the indecisive coward I was.
"Hey, hey! It's okay, it's okay. Sorry," I heard Megumin soothe me as I made an effort to level my crying. "Sorry for sticking our noses where they don't belong. If it's that touchy of a subject, consider it dropped. No reason to tear yourself apart over it."
"…but I wanna talk about it though…" I admitted shamefully through a whimper.
"You don't have to rush yourself for our sake. That was wrong of us, and we should've known better," Darkness assured me, her voice soft as could be. "Take as long as you need. You only need tell us if you want to, and if you don't, that's fine too."
Steeling myself, I pulled my face out of my knees to look up at my friends. They…really did look like they give a shit as much as they sound like it. While I still don't fully understand why they'd be this intent on putting up with me, I was still grateful for it all the same. In fact, kinda like Darkness, I sorta viewed them all as part of my family. And I really wanted to confide in them like one too.
Even so…
"N-No, I…wanna tell you, really. It's just that…" I paused, barely able to make eye contact with any of them as I worked up the nerve to continue. "I'm scared you're gonna use what I tell you as ammunition to judge me…"
"We won't do that to you. I swear it on my holy powers," Aqua swore, sharing the same tone and strength as the others, resolute and caring with her words. I knew she meant it but I still wasn't sure I could even get the words out. I've never told anyone other than the JackBots about this…
"A-Alright. I'll tell you then," I sighed, already feeling tired even though the hardest part had yet to come. "But in order to explain the memory, you need to know the context leading up to it. So if you hate long stories, now's your chance to back out."
The girls all gazed at each other and, in a wordless exchange I could only hope to imagine, turned back to me with a unified nod. This was going to be a hard one to talk about...but I wasn't going to run from it any longer.
"Your loss," I chuckled humorlessly before locking my eyes to my knees. "It all started when I was trying to make a second RoboJack. The first one double-crossed me – his programming must've adapted my own insecurities or something – and I wanted to give him another shot because the thought of building a robot that didn't like me bothers me. I know installing emotion chips is a double-edged sword like that but still. Anyway, Chase contacted me shortly after and offered me an apprenticeship, the catch being I had to compete with another villain to nab the next Shen Gong Wu. Being the stupid, lovesick boy that I was, I hauled ass with RoboJack in tow. Guess my feelings for the lizard also carried over into his programming. Either way, I lost the apprenticeship but 'won his pity' as he so lovingly put it. God, I still can't believe I ever had a crush on that dick! Even if he was admittedly handsome in his human form..."
"I know you're telling a personal story right now, but that last part was TMI," Aqua interrupted with a disgusted face and a tongue sticking out. "From what you've told us before, Chase sounds like he has an unholy stench wafting off him at all times."
Despite the interruption, Aqua's blatant diss on my ex-crush actually earned a short but genuine laugh out of me. "Heh! Yeah, I guess so. I mean, if he did, I never noticed like with Wuya. Maybe I'd need a godly nose to pick up on it or something."
After coming down from the moment of levity, I carried on with the story. "Anyway, the shit cherry on top of that disaster of a day was RoboJack locking me out of the house just to spite me. And on the one day my mom was back home making cookies too. With my spirits lower than they've ever been, I took a long, hard walk out in the countryside to reflect on all my failures. I've doubted myself before, sure, but this…this self-doubt hit different. My mind was going places that scared me. I guess you could say I was having a midlife crisis at age fifteen. If I failed at being normal and I failed at being evil, then what was left for Jack Spicer at that point? Before I realized it, I had wandered to the Xiaolin Temple where the monks lived. That's when Omi suggested I train as a monk and turn good against his friends' objections. A-And I was so desperate and sad and lonely at the time that I…I…"
My face burned red hot shame. I rested my forehead on my knees as I forced myself to let slip what I knew the girls would latch onto forever.
"I actually took him up on the offer…"
The silence was deafening. Half of me wished it was because they got bored and left while the other half was praying they were still there and not plotting to exploit my insecurities. Whatever the case, I decided to blast through the rest in growing irritation just to fill the silence.
"Biggest mistake of my life. If those Xiaolin Losers really wanted to turn me good, they did a piss-poor job at it. Raimundo, Clay, Kimiko, they all mocked and belittled me as I worked my ass off doing everybody's chores. And Omi - GAH! That pretentious twerp was the worst! He kept shoving his stupid goody-two-shoes, honor and valor ethos down my throat while I was trying to do my best not to think about where the hell my life was going. Not a day later and I finally came back to my senses. First chance I got, I stole their Wu and bounced. But, as fate would have it, Omi came to confront me personally and we initiated a Xiaolin Showdown: Truth or Lie. Those giant balloons you saw in that memory? They pop when you get caught lying. As you've probably inferred by now, Omi genuinely believed in me when I agreed to turn good and wasn't just doing it to prove his friends wrong. And when I said I had planned to betray them the whole time? Well…now you know why I wanted to shoot that screen before it could finish playing."
I felt just as alone now as I did back then, even if the girls were likely still patiently waiting for me to finish venting. If anything, they were probably too fixated on the fact that there was a very brief moment in my life where I legitimately considered turning good to be listening any further. Still, I added in one last piece of my mind before resigning myself to whatever they had planned.
"But you know what? Even if that dumb balloon said he wasn't lying about believing in me, I like to personally think he was. Because let's face it: if Omi really believed in me, he would've kept being obnoxious about me coming back after I returned to my evil roots. Instead, he and the others took actual, sadistic DELIGHT in taking turns beating me till I was on the verge of blacking out. It got to the point where they even made their own sport out of it, with their pet dragon keeping a fucking SCOREBOARD! If you noticed a memory of the monks wailing on me while stripping my clothes as 'prizes', just so you know…that was a solid year after the Truth or Lie Showdown. It's almost evil enough to make a bad guy like me blush..."
I slumped back onto my bed, emotionally drained from both the Friendship Crystal and the shameful recounting. Now the girls knew, and I was left waiting for some kind of reaction; anything to show that they understood or didn't blame me or judge me or...just something to make the dull ache in my chest feel less awful!
And eventually...I got a proper response.
"Bastards…"
That one word. One of the last things I expected Megumin to say, truthfully, and with such venom too. It was enough to make me sit upright.
The vengeful sneer on her face along with the fiery red glow from her eyes was more than enough to spook me.
"How fucking DARE those bastards do that to you! To ANYONE! Disgraceful, the very epitome of underhanded and smarmy!" She seethed, fists clenched so tight her knuckles were as white as my skin. "I was raised on the principles of respecting your comrades, of looking out for those who need it most! The fact those monks not only pushed you aside and failed you as teachers, but continued to FIGHT YOU afterwards!?"
I was truly at a loss for words. I had such a difficult time trying to find my voice that I only barely managed to push through the first sentence. "I, uh, err...well, yeah, I mean…you know how good guys are when -"
"Oh, the HELL they were!" Megumin cut me off with a scary flash in her crimson eyes. "No 'good guys' should stoop to that kind of level! EVER! It's completely unacceptable! They don't deserve to be called that, not after what they did to you! It was wrong and you deserve to be treated better!"
O-Oh. Wow. Megumin meant that? That's…heh, well, kinda flattering honestly. Like really fucking nice to hear a friend say that about me, y'know?
I snapped myself out of my happy thoughts when I realized something. "Wait, but the monks work to safeguard Shen Gong Wu from the clutches of evil. They even saved the Earth when it got conquered twice. If you're saying they're not good guys and I'm saying they're not bad guys…what the hell is that supposed to make them?"
"People, Jack! They're just people! People who treated you like shit because they could!" Megumin shot back, the slightest bit of her edge fading as she continued. "Life isn't always so black and white, dude. People can do good things and still be bad, and people can do bad things for the right reasons. It's not always so clear-cut as you might think. The world's complicated like that..."
Wait...she's talking about gray morality, isn't she? Yeah, I've absorbed enough games and TV shows and books to pick up on the concept. I'm not stupid, I know it's a concept that exists. It's just…I don't know, it never quite appealed to me as the vibrant and colorful evil side I guess. Plus, morally gray/ambiguous/questionable characters were always a mixed bag for me personally. You get some interesting ones, no doubt, but others make you wanna scream at them to just pick a side and stick with it. With evil (and I suppose good if we're being fair), at least things are consistent, just like me!
…
The fact I wasn't totally feeling that started to gnaw on my worries…
Thankfully, the familiar pang of self-doubt faded when I was suddenly embraced in a bone-crushing hug courtesy of Darkness. On second thought, I wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse as I could feel myself losing precious oxygen.
"I'm so sorry those monks treated you so poorly, Jack! If I could somehow suck the suffering you've endured out of you and take it in your place, I'd do it in a heartbeat!"
For once, I didn't get the impression Darkness meant that in a pervy way. She truly sounded remorseful. I mean, sure, she'd probably still get a kick out of it. But that's beside the point.
Anyway, I'm asphyxiating.
"Dark…air…LUNGS…!" I wheezed out, prompting the insanely strong woman to release me from her death hug. Although given some of the things I've survived through in this world, I think I can say that wouldn't have been the more horrible way to go. "Thanks…for both releasing me and the kind words."
"Of course. And again, I'm sorry for what you had to go through," Darkness replied, putting a hand to my shoulder and giving me a small smile. "I swear to you, on my oath as a holy Crusader, I shall never disrespect you in a manner as heinous as those monks. Should I ever go back on my word in any way, kick me to the curb without hesitation. Or better yet, brutally punish me to make us even!"
"Implying you would berate and beat me just to get a kink fulfilled?" I asked while making sure to raise an eyebrow.
"Ah...sad thing is, I can't really blame you for thinking that..." She admitted shamefully(?) while looking away. At least she's becoming self-aware.
Anyway, if these ladies keep this up, I was gonna start blushing like an idiot. Speaking of which…what was going on with Aqua?
"Those monks should be thankful I'm not up in Heaven anymore," She murmured to herself, making me flinch when I noticed the cold glaze in her eyes. It wasn't outright scary like Megumin's, but more like...a scientist watching lab rats. "I could smite their stupid temple, or flood it with one heck of a storm. Oh, the ways to get back at them…"
"Uh…Omi's supposed to be, like, the Xiaolin Dragon of Water or something?" I commented stupidly and admittedly fearfully.
She merely exhaled through her nose and smirked sinisterly. "What's a dragon to a goddess anyway...?"
Goddamn. Aqua was like a completely different person when she was sincerely pissed.
When the vengeful goddess finally looked back over to me, her demeanor dramatically and instantly softened. She must've been so absorbed in her own evil revenge plots that she didn't fully register me talking to her. It...was kind of awe-inspiring after the initial shock died down. I didn't know she had it in her!
Aqua walked over to where I was sitting on the bed, offering me a surprisingly serious look before addressing me. "Jack-sama, I swear to you on my holy powers and stature of godhood that I will stand by your side as your ally. So long as you'll have me, of course."
Woah…talk about heavy. It's so weird, whenever you hear normally unserious people say stuff like that, it really just makes you go -
"Damn…" I muttered softly, feeling a familiar wetness begin to form in the corner of my eyes. "I-I don't know what to say. I wish I knew but I'm not super good with words…"
"You don't have to say anything...though a yes wouldn't hurt~" Aqua replied, a small smile rising on her face before she reached out and patted my head. "We're more than just teammates, Jack. We're like a family! And I promise that we'll do everything in our power to help you."
Family. Just like what Darkness said. Aqua thought that too apparently. Does that also mean…?
I was given my answer when I felt two small arms snake their way around my torso. A certain Crimson Demon looked up to give me a bright, silly smile. Her eyes glowed more softly compared to when she was steaming over the monks' past treatment of me.
"Ditto on the family thing, in case it wasn't obvious!"
At that moment, I suddenly felt...strange. Happy, honestly, more so than ever before. I wouldn't have expected it given the damn ride that crystal put me on, but I was happy, nonetheless. The girls were my family now. Nothing was going to change that.
As Aqua and Darkness joined in on the group hug, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to cry. Not the loud, ugly cry I was usually mocked for but simply a silent, happy cry. My mascara was almost definitely runny at this point, but I couldn't care less. I finally felt safe. And I made sure to let the girls know it with two simple words:
"Thank you…"
Hey, Swood from the future here again. So...I realized while re-editing the Friendship Crystal chapter that it was way too long, especially with the additional embarrassing memories. As such, I have now split it into two chapters for better pacing and less bloat. This really only affects older readers, though, so new readers feel free to ignore this message lol.
But obviously this will only serve to further screw up the order of reviews originally made before the re-edits/revamping of older chapters. Once again, I'm sorry, I really wish they moved with the chapters like they do in AO3. One of several reasons why I think I prefer that site to this one honestly. Anyway, I doubt people will care too much about reviews being a little scrambled, but I just thought I'd make sure you were all aware. Thank you for your time and patience.