Chapter... what am I on now? Nine? Yeah, Nine: Kill Steal
When the mist flooded their field of vision, stopping at the barrier but still blocking them from seeing anything past it, Minato frowned. He knew he really didn't need to worry about his wife, she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but he still did. Nevermind the fact that she was only in a bunshin body and the worst the enemy could do was disperse it and send her back into the seal.
... unless their opponent had a soul-affecting jutsu or kekkei genkai... or had some way of attacking chakra... or used some sort of indirect attack like a genjutsu to trap her in an illusion that broke her mind...
Dammit. Now he was even more anxious. Why hadn't he placed a Hiraishin seal on her like he had on Naruto? Then he'd at least have a general idea of what was going on around her. Not to mention, an easy way to help her out should she need it. Which she wouldn't, so he really ought to stop worrying.
"Argh! Why are we staying back here and not helping?" his son demanded in frustration. Minato was honestly surprised he'd lasted this long without complaint. The younger blonde had gone from antsy to pacing in the space of about fifteen seconds, and had now progressed to complaining.
Behind the teen, his teammates stood a bit back. The Uchiha was still wary of the 'possessed' shadow clone, and the pink-haired girl (Minato really needed to remember that one's name. Hana? No, that was Tsume's kid...) had that oh-so-familiar look of a fan-girl on her face that made the yondaime grateful she was a shy fan-girl, and not the loud obnoxious kind.
"What do you expect to do, idiot?" Sasuke spoke, glaring at his teammate. "Swim out there and attack their ankles? You can't walk on water."
"I'm not seeing you come up with any better ideas!"
"Hn." The dark-haired boy rolled his eyes. "It's called waiting here and protecting the client in case the enemy isn't working alone."
The two scowled at each other and Minato mused about how they reminded him of Obito and Kakashi at their age. Then decided he probably should intervene before they came to blows. "Now, kids, let's not forget we are on a mission and-"
"Kids?" Naruto protested, "You're my clone! We're the same age!"
The elder blonde sighed. "Physically, yes. Mentally I'm actually..." He did some quick math. "Thirty-eight. That's... mildly depressing. Man, I'm old."
"Wow, you are old!" his son agreed, wrinkling his nose. "That's older than Kakashi-sensei."
Minato refused to think about what Naruto would say if he knew he'd been Kakashi's jounin instructor. Or adoptive father-figure-thing. "Uh, do not repeat that in front of your mother. It's probably safer for everyone if you don't remind her she's twelve years older than she thinks she is."
The younger blonde scoffed. "I'm not afraid of-"
Naruto cut off mid-sentence when the mist beyond the barrier suddenly changed to an ominous blood red. The teens looked around apprehensively as maniacal laughter filled the air. The yondaime breathed a sigh of relief. So Kushina was winning; not that he hadn't expected her to, it was just good to have confirmation.
"Ah, I think Kushina is just about done."
Naruto no longer looked quite so confident in what he'd been about to say. Kushina had that effect on people.
The fog began to clear rapidly, and the battlefield came into sight. The first thing Minato noticed was the huge glowing red seal on the ground. How... how had she managed that? Fascinating piece of work... two subjects linked; one fueling the seal, one imprisoned. The link would cause whatever happened to one to be reflected on the other... oh.
The yondaime couldn't help but laugh. The voodoo doll seal? Greatly amplified and altered to be activated through bunshin instead of a doll with some hair tied to it, but the principle was the same. Kushina hadn't used that since they were kids, back when she was teased for looking like a tomato. That one hadn't been capable of more than minor phantom pains, this one looked much more dangerous.
The teenagers shot him disturbed looks, and the yondaime quickly schooled himself back to seriousness. He forgot sometimes that while he might see his brilliant and beautiful wife doing awesome things, other people saw her as a raging sadistic psychopath on a rampage. Other people just didn't understand her like he did.
Kushina was saying something, and with the fog gone, they could make it out. "... I'm gonna set you on fire." And then she was cackling with madness again.
Minato struggled to keep a straight face. This was not helping the public's opinion of her as a raging psychopath. Oh well, she would still forever be his brilliant and beautiful wife.
She raised the simple fire release seal that would set both the clone and real counterpart aflame. Her husband wondered briefly if he should advise the kids to avert their eyes, death by fire was not a pretty sight by any stretch of the imagination, but was saved the trouble when Zabuza suddenly keeled over dead; a senbon stuck expertly in his neck.
Instantly the yondaime dropped to the ground and sent out a sensory chakra pulse. He should have done it much sooner but had gotten distracted by meeting his son and worrying over Kushina. It proved unnecessary, though, as the newcomer stepped out into full view. At least he'd confirmed there was no one else.
The person, Minato honestly couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, wore a green and white haori held in place by a brown sash. A white mask with thin eye slits and a red swirl pattern covered their face, and even chakra enhancing his vision did nothing to peer past it. A mist hunter-nin, the blonde hokage realized as the mysterious shinobi snatched up the enemy's body before it could fall into the water.
Kushina froze as the seal she had so carefully crafted fizzled away into nothing. With the death of the subject, it no longer had a chakra system to feed off of and failed. Minato had just enough time curse loudly and begin calculating the trajectory he'd need to throw his Hiraishin kunai at to reach her, when her face twisted into a snarling rage and she launched herself at the stranger.
Fortunately for everyone, as attacking another village's hunter-nin who was only doing their job on neutral soil could quite possibly cause an international incident if not start another war, Kakashi was much closer. Well, maybe it wasn't quite so fortunate for Kakashi... still, it gave Minato time to figure out the right angle he'd need to throw the knife at his space-time barrier to have it come out where he needed it.
The Jikukan Kekkai wasn't like other barriers, it diverted attacks by teleporting them away to one of his Hiraishin seals instead of just outright stopping them, though it could do that as well if necessary.
Kakashi was having an incredibly difficult time trying to hold Kushina at bay with one arm and talk her down from her blood lust when Minato arrived. He caught his three-pronged kunai from mid-air before it could fall, and landed in a graceful crouched position in front of his wife.
Or he would have landed in a graceful crouched position if he hadn't got caught up in the moment and forgotten that Naruto's chakra hated him. When he'd first possessed a bunshin and teleported Kakashi to the underside of the hokage monument, he'd almost fallen off the cliff face the first time he'd tried to stick to carved stone. However, he'd been expecting it at the time, and a quick surge of excess chakra kept him attached long enough to figure out how to make it work.
Walking on water, though? It didn't take as kindly to rapid fluctuations in chakra.
At least falling through the water with an indignant yelp of surprise had the intended effect of stopping Kushina in her tracks. She burst into hysterical laughter, genuine humor this time and not psychotic bloodlust, when the sopping blonde surfaced and climbed carefully to his feet on top of the water.
"HA! Namikaze... genius prodigy... failed... water walking-! AHAHAHA-!"
This was probably some sort of karmic revenge for all the long hours he'd spent trying to teach Kushina water-walking when they were kids and him getting exasperated at her utter lack of chakra control. Apparently it hadn't been entirely her fault, Uzumaki chakra was just difficult like that. The yondaime heard a muffled snickering and turned a glare on the offender. Hatake feigned innocence as he replaced his headband over his sharingan; he'd brought it out to help handle Kushina.
"Ha ha. Yes, it's hilarious." Minato rolled his eyes. "I'm still getting used to Naruto's chakra, alright?"
"Hn...," Kakashi replied airily, before turning to regard the newcomer with false nonchalance. Kushina was still flailing with mirth on top of the water between them. The fact that she hadn't fallen in yet herself was probably her own brand of rubbing it in her husband's face. He ignored her, and joined his student in staring expectantly at the other shinobi.
The hunter-nin shot the writhing mass of shadow clone that had been previously attempting to disembowel them a wary look before focusing back on the other two. They had retreated slightly with the body and now stood on the lake shore not far from them. "I have been searching for the opportunity to kill Zabuza for a long time. Thank you very much."
Kushina made a choking noise that sounded vaguely like an angry protest but didn't manage to stop laughing long enough to act on it. Minato didn't know whether to be relieved or irritated.
"And now I must dispose of this body to protect village secrets, farewell."
The mysterious ninja disappeared with the body in a Shunshin swirl of leaves and the Konoha-nin let them go. They had more pressing matters to see to, and they weren't entirely sure Kushina wouldn't try to kill the masked-shinobi once she regained her composure. Which was probably why the stranger hadn't stuck around very long in the first place.
"Are you finished, or should I drag you back to shore?" Minato asked, peering down at his wife.
There were tears in her eyes when she looked up at him and replied, "Isn't carrying another person a little advanced for someone who can't even support themselves?" Then she dissolved into a fresh bout of laughter and her husband let out a long suffering sigh.
"Don't worry, Sensei, I'll take her if you can't handle it," Kakashi spoke up cheerfully, grabbing the giggling blonde clone around the waist and hauling Kushina back toward the shore.
"It's not that funny!" the yondaime called out feeling more and more like the pouting twelve-year-old he currently looked like.
"Yes it is!" Kushina shot back childishly.
Grumbling about Uzumaki's and their stupid difficult chakra, Minato trailed after them.
A/N: Hmm... I didn't manage to make this chapter longer like I was planning, but I think I managed to get better at adding more details and stuff. I'll try again for a longer chapter next time.
Poor Minato. He's just not having a good day. It's okay though, he'll get better once he spends some time adjusting to Naruto's chakra. Probably during the whole tree climbing exercise thing. Until then, Kushina gets to tease him relentlessly over the sudden role reversal. :D
The chapter title thing is courtesy of my friend Sunspice who insisted I keep it after I put "What am I on now?" instead of a number because I was too lazy to go back and check what number was last. I was writing, I didn't want to stop and scroll up. D:
Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I had fun writing it. :3
-Py