And so, an evil master and his evil apprentice spent the rest of the afternoon gleefully approaching dumb Axis losers and "signing up" for their bogus religion. We had a ball coming up with all sorts of funny fake names and restraining our laughter when the cultist read them back none the wiser. And when I eventually ran out of fake names, I started giving out the names of all my old tormentors back home, just for the hell of it! Spiritual revenge never tasted sweeter!

"The Axis Church is proud to have Omi Crud as its latest member!" The crazy man exclaimed while I resisted the urge to correct his word choice from member to victim. "We look forward to seeing you spread the word of the wonderful goddess Aqua! Have a blessed day, Omi Crud!"

"Oh, I assure you! I most certainly will!" I replied, relishing in yet another spike of self-satisfaction over the brilliant method of dealing with these dopes. As the latest cultist skipped away without the slightest idea of my trickery, Megumin walked over to where I was standing with a proud look on her face. "You got another one?"

"Sure did! Once I noticed you started giving out the names of all your old bullies, I went ahead and started using the names of all the girls in my class I didn't like! Having their titles permanently entombed in this accursed city's religion is what they get for making fun of my cup size!"

"...not what I was expecting, but I like the pettiness all the same! Up top!" I crowed, offering the mage a high five before we both started to carve a path back towards the Inn, sufficiently evil-ed out for now. "Man, that was actually fun! Looks like this vacation is really picking up now!"

"Yeah, once you know the secret to getting the locals out of your hair, this town becomes a lot more enjoyable on top of being pretty to look at," Megumin agreed with a firm nod. "Although, for a certain perv in our party, I think she's able to find her own enjoyment out of this place. And that makes me weirdly envious of her in that respect."

"Yeah, Dark's wacky system sure has its 'perks', if you can call them that," I replied, pausing for a second as I considered our crusader once more. It wasn't like much had changed since we arrived, sure, and I was still content to give her some more time to think. Still, I was allowed to be anxious, and while I wasn't expecting earth-shattering revelations from Megumin, I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask for advice. "Speaking of- -"

"You want my input on your situation with Darkness, yeah?"

"H-How did you know?"

Megumin gave me a long, hard look. "You're pretty easy to read when it comes to the emotional stuff, Jack."

"Am not…" I muttered defiantly with my arms crossed and my head turned away.

"Look, man, I'm not gonna act like I know exactly what you should do. We've already talked about how you screwed up, and I think you got the point by now. It's just…this was personal for Dark, on a level past what Aqua and I saw it as," She explained, her expression genuinely serious for a change. "Maybe it's because it was her family name on the line, or maybe she really did believe we could trust you to be infallible. I dunno why this is sticking with her so hard but you should know that it's not all on you."

I nodded softly, her words settling into my mind. "Yeah…I mean, I guess we all kind of gave her a hard time during that dinner in some way, shape, or form. Aqua with her alcoholism and you threatening to blow up the other nobles- -"

"Okay, so maybe it was a team effort. Don't take that as an excuse to get up on your high horse," Megumin interjected with a jab to my chest. "The point is, we'll all find a way to make it up to her. Just because she's mad at you right now doesn't mean she'll stay that way forever."

I could believe that. For as long as I've known Darkness, I've come to determine that she's really not the type to hold grudges. Sure, she could get mad…like, really mad in my case, but she's also forgiving. It may have something to do with her nature as a masochist, but regardless, it's honestly very likely that she and I will come around again. Patience is still the name of the game here.

But if I get impatient enough, maybe I'll just build another time machine and travel to a time where we've already made up. We'll see how I'm feeling.

"You're right, M-Bomb. She won't stay mad forever. It's just not how she's wired. Even so, I think we're all probably due for an apology for that dinner party. Although, doesn't she technically owe you an apology for the, uh… clothes thing? "

"Oh yeah, right…I kinda forgot about that actually. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," She grumbled before shaking her head in palpable disdain. "Still, that stupid dinner was bound to end poorly anyway. It sucks that things spiraled the way they did, but really, what a shame."

"If you thought that dinner party was a shit show, you should've seen the last business party my parents made me attend," I reminisced with an evil yet wistful smirk. "I got so fed up with being dragged to those stupid things that I whipped up a makeshift freeze ray using pieces of a swan ice sculpture. Made some of the floors slippery and enjoyed the show of pretentious snobs falling over themselves. Needless to say, I didn't go to any more parties after that."

"HAH! That's certainly one way to dodge those sad excuses for parties!" Megumin chuckled, relishing the shared evil energy. She really was a damn good apprentice. "Still, I can imagine your parents gave you some hell for that one in the long run."

"Mom and Dad weren't as amused by my prank as I was, no. Got quite the tongue-lashing once the party was over and all the guests left," I answered casually with my hands resting behind my head. "Luckily, I got off pretty easy. It might've been the guilt of constantly neglecting me that colored their decision to not give me a more severe punishment. Who knows."

"Yeah, who knows…" Megumin murmured in reply, her tone less exuberant than before. I could tell even without glancing at her that she was giving me that look again. The same one all the girls gave me whenever I mentioned my home life before reincarnating. A bit of pity, a healthy mix of concern. It probably should have felt more grating, but really, it kinda just made me feel stupid for coming back to that topic again.

"Sorry, don't know why I keep bringing my folks up," I admitted bashfully while rubbing my arm. "Guess I never gave the situation with them much thought until after coming here. I'll try to stop doing that. After all, I got you guys now, right?"

"Yeah, you do. And it's no big deal, man. It's just…we worry about you sometimes, y'know? All of us," Megumin replied, her expression serious yet again as her crimson eyes glowed with emotion. "You went through a lot back home. I just want you to know that that's not gonna happen again. No matter how things play out with our party, we won't leave you behind like your parents did."

Oh god, my eyes were starting to get wet again. Shit, why does them saying mushy garbage like that do this to me? I'm supposed to be tough! Made of stone! Must resist the urge to go in for a hug…

…once again, I prove myself to be weak-willed.

Luckily, before I had to sink to that level of desperation myself, Megumin was generous and spared me the embarrassment by wrapping me in a side hug: the perfect amount of physical comfort to let me know she cares without making a scene. I really didn't need Axis cultists seeing me cry in public.

Thankfully, the waterworks wouldn't be happening today as an electronic coo caught my attention. Spielberg had been quietly filming us, camera in one claw and Chomusuke in the other. Speaking of the cat, I could've sworn it was looking at us with a knowing grin somehow. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if that was just something cats were capable of doing naturally in this world. Stranger things have happened in both my lives.

"Alright, alright, you two finished enjoying the show?" I grumbled while staring the pair down, soon joined by Megumin who hadn't noticed them. Spielberg at least had the decency to act embarrassed, but Chomusuke kept on grinning. Weird lil' furball.

"Sorry, sir," Spielberg apologized while shutting off his camera. "I understand that, as the director, you're not a fan of sappy scenes in your movie. But the two of you were so gosh darn cute together that I couldn't help myself! I had to film it, even if it wasn't going into the final cut."

"We're not cute, we're fearsome! Get it right!" Megumin chided as she shook her head and lightly socked my arm. "That was a Crimson Demon Battle Hug, obviously! It's meant to bolster our spirits for the battles to come!"

"Uh, y-yeah! What she said!" I joined, not wanting to look soft as I crossed my arms and gave Spielberg a firm look. "It's, like, super manly and actually really nuanced in its execution. Far from what anybody would call cute. I thought you'd know better, Spiel. I'm a little disappointed right now…"

"Apologies, sir! Truly!" Spielberg insisted almost desperately, obviously not wanting to disappoint his creator. "No more candid shots like that, I promise."

"At ease, tin soldier,," I teased while playfully pulling the bot's hat over his photoreceptors. As I did that, I noticed how Chomusuke kept grinning at me like a smug human. "Yo, M-bomb, your cat's weirding me out. It keeps looking at me like it knows something I don't."

"Oh, she does that sometimes!" Megumin replied while taking her pet from Spielberg and fluffing her fuzzy little head. "Such is the way when you've tamed a dark god as your familiar..."

I gave her a blank look. "I thought you said she was just a cat."

"I may have lied to keep you from freaking out since you had a weird aversion to felines. But now that you've gotten more comfortable around her, I believe you're ready to handle the truth now," Megumin said in her usual dramatic flair before thrusting her cat in the air, startling it. "For THIS! Is no mere kitty! But a fragmented piece of a dark god whom loyal demonic servants have died trying to take away from me!"

…

"Yeah right," I snorted while resuming my walk.

"No, really, it's true," Megumin insisted, dropping the Crimson Demon theatrics for a moment. "I had to kill two demons who were following Yunyun and I to Axel after we graduated. They kept claiming Chomusuke was their 'Lady Wolbach' before I shut them up with Explosion Magic. So unless they were just crazy, I'm inclined to believe I have tamed a dark god as my familiar."

I took a long, hard look at the furball in question after Megumin explained her reasoning. The cat licked the back of its paw and groomed itself nonchalantly like any other normal member of its species.

"Well, unless I see her do something truly noteworthy, I'll be inclined to believe those demon stalkers of yours were just coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs," I stated before cupping my chin in contemplation. "Hmm, although…that could explain why she seems to hate Aqua so much, assuming she really is a dark god and all."

"One day you'll be as enlightened as I," Smugumin said with her head held high. I merely shook mine.

"Whatever. Anyway, the inn should be just down the road. Let's go see how well the others have fared in this completely tolerant and respectful community, eh?"

"Sounds good to me. How much eris you wanna bet Dark is still having the time of her life?" Megumin goaded with another laugh as we resumed our walk back toward the inn.

The receptionist, Selena, leveled a glare at us once we entered the lobby, but thankfully left us alone to go back to her book. Perfectly fine with us as we made our way down the hall to our slightly below average (but free) suite. Jingling the room key, I unlocked the door…

And was greeted with the usual mess I've come to expect from this group of mine.

Aqua, as expected, was out cold. For once, it seemed like it wasn't induced by alcohol, either. Wiz and Alexis were playing some kind of card game on the far bed, with the latter looking uncharacteristically steamed. Finally, Darkness seemed to be in the middle of pacing as we entered, cheeks flushed and muttering to herself.

Yup, she was definitely still having a great time.

"Oh! Jack, Megumin! You're back!" Wiz called out cheerfully, unaware that her opponent was close to blowing a fuse (figuratively and literally). "I hope everything's been alright with you two, given the Axis followers'...eccentricities. Yes, that's the polite way of putting it."

"We're fine. In fact, thanks to some help from Alexis, we found a little loophole that makes the locals a lot less agitating," I replied, before casting the seething bot on the bed a nervous glance. "Speaking of which, you alright yourself, Alexis? You look a bit, um…not happy."

"No shit I'm not happy, fuck-for-brains," Alexis hissed without even looking my way, her words packing quite the punch even though I knew she probably didn't mean it. "I am running a million calculations per second in my head and yet somehow this undead magic meatbag is still beating me at this stupid card game…WHY ARE YOU THIS GOOD!?"

"I-I'm sorry, Alexis! I used to play this game with my adventuring party, long before I became a lich," Wiz desperately tried to defend, laying down her latest set of cards against Alexis, who looked like she was seconds away from bursting into flames. "I'm just experienced is all!"

Alexis gave the lich a particularly nasty glare that only a former dominatrix like her could pull off. Wiz squeaked in fear and actually trembled on the spot. However, that seemed to appease the android's fractured sadism programming as she just sighed and got off the bed. Producing a cigarette from one fingertip and lighting it up with a built-in lighter in the other, Alexis puffed one before brushing past me and out the door.

"Right, well, that was terrifying," I murmured, slightly concerned about Alexis' reaction to losing at a card game of all things. Maybe she was competitive due to her dominant programming from before her reconstruction? Might be worth looking into later. "Wiz, how many rounds did you beat her at for her to get that salty?"

"About five or six…" Answered the lich gloomily as she pulled her knees up to her chest like a little kid after they got yelled at. "I really hope this doesn't put a strain on our new friendship. We really seemed to hit it off during our time together. Why do games bring out the worst in people sometimes?"

Note to self: never offer Alexis up on multiplayer.

"I think she'll get over it, Wiz. Don't lose any sleep over it," Megumin insisted with a bright smile, before turning her attention to Darkness nearby, who still hadn't stopped pacing since our arrival. "What's with you?"

The grinning, muttering, pacing pervert put whatever daydream she had on hold to finally address us. When she did, her red face somehow turned even redder as she stammered. "J-Jack, M-Megumin! When did you get here?"

"Uh…like two minutes ago?" Megumin reiterated with a raised brow. "Did you seriously not hear the fuss Alexis was making when we stepped in?"

"I did not. It appears I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts again," Dark replied, looking thoroughly embarrassed, but not the pervy kind for a change. "A-Anyhow, I actually had something to present to you, Megumin!"

Thoroughly curious (if not a little bit frightened), M-Bomb and I stood by as we watched Darkness move over to her bed and shuffle around some items in a bag. She pulled out what seemed to be a pile of red clothing. She explained herself as she approached Megumin with all the fresh new duds in hand.

"While I was out getting pleasantly harassed and stoned for my opposing religion, I actually made a stop at the local tailor. Y-You see, I was…well, am still a little guilty for, uh, 'stretching out' some of your dresses back home. So I made the decision to purchase some new ones for you as an apology! They may have marked up the sales when I told them – err, uh, I mean, when they found out about my religion, but one cannot put a price on friendship, yes?"

Megumin stared at the plie for a few seconds, and yet again the brief thought passed me by that I really should make a mind-reading invention someday. Not for anything evil necessarily (though the potential is there), but just to skip the buildup of awkward moments like this. They kinda stressed me out, honestly.

"Now, I should have them all in the correct size for, ah , self-explanatory reasons," Darkness went on somewhat nervously when Megumin went silent. "But if you find that some don't fit quite right or you just don't like the look of some of them, let me know and I'll make sure to return – !"

"ALRIGHT, I get it! Just stop babbling already, you sound too much like Yunyun," Megumin huffed, going over to inspect the clothes for herself as Darkness was left in an awkward state between arousal and confusion. "I still haven't forgiven your gross cow udders for ruining my expertly crafted Crimson Demon garb. However…I shall accept this obvious token of goodwill from my clearly remorseful party member. Be thankful I'm in a merciful mood as I don't normally take jabs at my chest size lightly, be they intentional or not."

"Uh, this girl talk is making me uncomfortable…" I muttered weakly.

Megumin turned her back 'round to me and blinked. "Oh. Shit, that's right, I almost forgot you're the only boy here. Ignore all that then."

"Don't have to tell me twice."

Despite the awkwardness lingering in the air and the tsundere-like "thank you" from Megumin, Darkness seemed satisfied enough with her result. She even went in to give the squirt a hug from behind.

"Well, it appears I am humbly in your debt then. I only hope you like the selection I picked out for you. It wasn't easy finding red clothes in a city associated with the color blue."

"Darkness…what's that heavy sensation I feel on my head…?" The Crimson Demon asked through grinding teeth.

The crusader immediately let go. "AH! Sorry, sorry…"

I buried my piping red hot face deep into my hands. It wasn't easy being the only male member in the party…

And what doesn't help make me feel better is the obnoxious snoring of today's source of stress right beside me, snot bubble peeking out of her nose and all.

"Of course she had it easy out there, being their idol in disguise and whatever," I grumbled loud enough for my bot to catch. "Spielberg, do we have a marker lying around? Might as well vent my frustrations on a blank canvas if you catch my drift."

"Jack? That doesn't seem like a terribly good idea," Wiz interjected while Spielberg went searching through my luggage for said marker. "We both know how…wrathful Aqua can get when she's upset. Perhaps it would be best to keep the peace instead?"

"Relax, the worst she'll do is throw another hissy fit. I think I'm due for a little evil justice right now," I argued back while glaring down at Sleeping Bimbo before me. "Besides, she's a heavy sleeper. Watch."

I lightly slapped Aqua's cheek, not enough to hurt but enough to stir a normal person awake. So color me surprised when her eyes immediately shot open and we both ended up staring at each other awkwardly, neither of us really sure what to say or do next.

As I found out, slowly trying to drape the blanket over her face and pretend nothing happened was not the correct course of action (go figure).

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" She shrieked belligerently, voice echoing within the confines of our room as she tore the blanket away and shook me. "MEANIE! I was just trying to get some beauty sleep!"

"I didn't do anything!" I managed to get out in between the thrusts my body was going through. How was using Drain Touch on her not enough to wake her up in the past but a light slap to the face was!? "I was just making sure you were asleep and not dead on the spot! Evil genius' honor!"

"Hey, sir! I found the sharpie for your- -" Spielberg declared triumphantly as he returned, before noticing Aqua's near chokehold of me as both of our heads snapped to look at him.

"...for your art project! And totally not for your hypothetical plan to doodle on a sleeping face! That's what I meant to say."

Aqua was quick to glare at me, clearly not buying the bot's cover story. Since I was kinda fed up with her and her followers anyway, I didn't even bother rolling with the lie as I sighed.

"Okay, so I was going to pull a prank on you. Sue me."

"You DICK , what'd I ever do to you?!"

"Aqua…to spare you the long list of grievances I have against you, I'm just gonna give you the most recent one: your followers."

"My followers?" She parroted with a curious head tilt. The fucking nerve with this one. "What's wrong with them?"

"What's wrong with them? More like what ISN'T wrong with them! They're like mini YOUs – except without the powers that make you not totally useless. And they just won't shut up about their religion: Axis this, Axis that, Axis shove it up your ass already! If it wasn't for Alexis teaching me a trick to get rid of them, I would've had to resort to pulling out the atheist card, and something tells me that wouldn't exactly go over well in a place like this."

"First of all, yes, calling yourself an atheist in a world where gods are literally responsible for things like the weather would've made you sound crazier than you already are. So watch that mouth," Aqua explained with an air of seriousness seldom seen from her. This was quickly shattered, though, following her next sentence. "Secondly, YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT MY PRECIOUS FOLLOWERS! HOW DARE YOU!"

"I ain't takin' nothin' back, it's the truth! You're just biased!" I retorted swiftly, jabbing her nose and making her back off slightly. "And why wouldn't you be?! Like I said, they're basically just less powerful versions of you!"

"Yeah, I know! That's what makes them so likable, 'genius'. Because I'm so likable," Aqua retorted with one-hundred percent confidence. I cannot believe this bitch I call a friend sometimes. Even I wasn't this lacking in self-awareness (at least I don't think). "Where are you even getting at with this, huh? I fail to see the problem here."

"You know what? For once, I am going to be the bigger man here and drop it. I'm wasting my precious breath with you," I huffed, shaking my head and raising my hands as I took a deep breath. I wasn't gonna ruin this vacation, or I was at least sure as hell not gonna be blamed for it. "So for what it's worth, I'm… ugh, sorry…I guess."

For just a brief moment, Aqua ditched her high-and-mighty attitude and blinked at me. I bet she honestly wasn't expecting me to apologize. Neither did I, really, it just sorta came and went. Saying sorry isn't something I do or like to do very often. I personally think it makes me less of a villain saying that to people, especially those underserving of it.

Bah, forget it. Once this "vacation" is over, I'll go back to doing something incredibly evil to restore my bad karma. It ain't easy being, uh…villain-y. Yeesh, that didn't sound any better in my head than if I said it out loud.

"Yeah, well…you should be! I'm the reason we're even on this vacation, you…big dummy!" Aqua eventually sputtered, trying to regain her angry foothold in the now nonexistent argument. "You wanna know what I think? I think you're just salty about us making you go into the spa!"

My eyes widened at her accusation. Truthfully, I had kinda forgotten about our little "agreement" this morning since going out into town. And now I was wishing she had forgotten herself during her nap. Maybe I should've just let her sleep the evening away…

"N-no, of course not! At least, not entirely. Look, Aqua, c'mon, can't you let me reconsider? You and Megumin are seriously asking a lot from me right now!"

"Nuh-uh, no way! No backing out now, Jack, this is for your own good!"

"She's right, you know," Megumin added from the other bed as she was laying out the new clothes Darkness bought for her. "This'll help boost your overall confidence. Instead of having to hide behind a faux persona of bravado, you can learn to express genuine empowerment if you face one of your fears head-on. Otherwise, we wouldn't be pushing this hard for you to step into one of the baths. Y'know, the only worthwhile thing about this city?"

"But I don't want to face my fears! I'm perfectly fine wallowing in them!" I protested, pointedly ignoring how whiny I must've sounded. "L-Look, I know this is your guys' weird way of trying to help me, but I'm really not sure I wanna do this!"

"I honestly cannot believe the nerve of you two!" Wiz suddenly declared to both Aqua and Megumin. Her visible eye was sharp and it was probably the first time I had ever seen the lich look this stern before. "I've held my tongue since this is not my party to interfere with, but how could you peer-pressure your own friend into doing something he's clearly not comfortable with?"

Aqua didn't miss a beat nor bat an eye. "Simple: by making chicken noises at him. He's just that easy. Did you space out this morning or something?"

Gee, I feel so loved here.

"That is not what I mean, Aqua," Wiz deadpanned before shaking her head and sighing. "You should support your friend's decision instead of mocking him for it. I, for one, actually think Jack is being very mature in his reasoning for electing to opt out of the baths. Not everyone is comfortable in their own skin after all, especially around others who are."

Wow. Wiz, backing me up. Who would've guessed? Well, perhaps I didn't do anything that would prompt her not to, but still, talk about unexpected. And not just for me either, Megumin and Aqua both paused, seeming to reevaluate their options.

Which gave Darkness time to cut in with her usual shtick.

"Oh for the love of – I will accompany this closet lecher!"

"Say what!?"

Uh-oh, she must still be riding high on the fumes of today's excitement! Combine that with her week-long frustration with me and you've got a recipe for one hot, bothered, and confused woman venting her feelings the only way she knew how!

"It is obvious that he fears losing himself to his baser instincts in a confined area filled with nude men or Eris forbid women. Why else would he go to such great lengths to avoid bathhouses in the past? The answer is elementary: because he may not be able to control his inner beast when potential prey present themselves! Therefore, let me accompany Jack so that his hungry gaze stays on my erotic body alone! That should buy the innocents enough time to evacuate the bath should such obscene events occur!"

The silence that overtook the room was thick enough to cut with a steak knife. All five of us, Spielberg included, started at Darkness in utter astonishment. It's not like this territory was exactly new, but…wow. Apparently, pent up Darkness was a lot worse than standard Darkness.

Even Alexis, who seemed to have wandered back towards the room after cooling off, peeked in her head with a bewildered look and raised eyebrows.

"I heard 'baser instincts' and came as fast as I could. What'd I miss?"

"You C-C-C-C- CAME!? ALEXIS! " Darkness shouted with an almost horrified look plastered on her scarlet face. Of course she'd misinterpret that word of all words.

"Really!?" I cried. " That's where you draw one of your lines!? Why does your kink come with - err, I mean, HAVE so many caveats!?"

"Now, now, Darkness. That clearly isn't what she meant. Hopefully, anyhow," Wiz muttered, doing what she could to keep the situation from spiraling any further into madness. "Um, Alexis? If you would kindly clarify?"

"Indeed I would, Wiz. What I meant was I overheard some rather interesting choice words and arrived as soon as possible," The android replied swiftly, her pre-programmed confidence already returning as she sauntered into the room and smirked at the flustered crusader. "But I think I can take a guess at what all the fuss was about now. Someone's had a very good day, hasn't she?"

"Got a feeling a cold shower wouldn't be enough help at this point," muttered Megumin.

"Well, why take a cold shower when you could take a nice, hot bath instead?" Aqua suggested casually as she slid right up to Darkness with a wide smile. "C'mon, Dark, you need to slow down and take a load off! How about I treat you and Megumin to this one onsen that has this amazing view of the valley? Girls night out!"

Darkness seemed to consider Aqua's words for a moment, actually sobering up slightly from her masochistic high. As she seemed to war with herself privately, I similarly weighed my own options. After a second, I actually worked up the nerve to speak.

"You guys really should go," I agreed, not bothering to hide my eyeroll as they all turned to look at me in surprise. "Look, I'm still not onboard with the spa thing, but this vacation is supposed to be about us relaxing and enjoying ourselves. Taking a load off and enjoying a nice view sounds pretty good to me."

The girls eyed me up and down as though I had been replaced with a body snatcher or something, which was to be expected. Getting all sentimental with people other than my JackBots was still kinda foreign to me as well, and I imagine they're still not used to their strong, evil leader showing his softer side on occasion. They better not spread any rumors about Jack Spicer losing his edge.

Although, now that I think about it…is there a possibility that they could secretly use that sentiment against me? As a way to turn me good…? No, no, no – they wouldn't do that! I mean, I don't think they would anyway. Then again, I do try to make them see a new perspective myself…b-but only as a friendly suggestion! That's totally different…isn't it?

"You dolt."

Before I could get lost any further in this disturbing train of thought, Aqua was the first to snap out of her shock as she pulled back on my goggles and released them, snapping them back to my forehead and making me wince. I was about to curse her out for that when she steamrolled over me.

"This isn't just a vacation for us, it's a vacation for you as well! Why do you think we've been annoying you to try out this city's main attraction already?"

"Because you like to get a rise out of me?"

"That AND because it wouldn't be the same without you there! You're part of this group too, y'know!" Aqua corrected. Admittedly, I hadn't even considered that as a possibility. "We pushed so hard because the idea of you missing out on the fun while we all got to enjoy ourselves bothered us!"

"Yeah, it's not just about boosting your confidence, it's about making sure you're not missing out!" Megumin added while walking up to me and patting my shoulder. "The 'getting a rise out of you' part is just a bonus. Seriously, though, you are probably the only guy I've ever met that will do everything to worm his way out of the chance to get into a mixed bath. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing, but still, something to note."

"Yeah, well, just 'cuz I want to take over the world doesn't mean I don't have some standards on things," I reaffirmed with an annoyed huff. "I keep telling you there are levels to my evil, don't I? Some levels I don't dare to go. I just don't understand you guys sometimes."

"Sir?" Spielberg began. "If it helps, imagine one of us JackBots one day didn't want to have a wonderful oil change. Would you not feel worried for them?"

"I now understand completely."

The girls all gave me a look.

"...Was it seriously THAT easy?"

I shrugged. "What can I say, my bots get me."

The two of us shared a respectable fist bump while the rest of the room looked disappointed and defeated.

"That being said, I still don't want to go for all the reasons I've already given."

Megumin clutched her temple. "One step forward, twenty steps back with this guy…"

"What if I were to accompany you?" Alexis piped up. "As the most humanoid robot present, I still require regular baths to clean my human parts, but I can disable all arousal subroutines to keep it as clinical as possible."

"Uh, I'm not so sure about that, Alexis. It's not your arousal subroutines we'd be worried about," Aqua frowned, not so subtly looking downwards to my crotch.

"Hey, my eyes are up here, perv." I hissed, "And just what do you think you're implying?! Are you trying to tell me that you think I'm as hopeless as Dark?!"

Aqua ignored the weird noise Darkness made to point a finger at me. "Yes I am! I don't think you can control yourself, Mr. 'Touches His Beautiful Goddess Friend When She Sleeps'!"

"That was for Mana use only and you know it!" I snapped back. "An evil genius can totally control himself against any and all temptations that may arise!"

"Oh yeah? Then prove it! If you can get into the bath and 'avoid temptation' around Alexis, I'll never make you get into a bath you don't want to take again! If not, then you have to convert to the Axis faith!"

"Oh, you're ON!"

We shook on our gentleman's agreement, and I was eager to show how a clever individual such as myself could show up a foolish goddess such as her.

Then my eyes looked out to the rest of the room and noticed the pitied looks they were all giving me.

Wait a minute.

"Oh no. Did I just get outplayed by Aqua?!"

They all nodded their heads slowly and sadly.

I gazed down at my now trembling hands. "I've been Jacked…again."

"You've been 'Jacked'?" Alexis questioned with a raised brow. "Do I even need to ask what that means?"

"No, not really. You can probably infer through context clues by now," I sighed with a wave of my hand as I trudged my feet to one of the nearest suitcases and began numbly pilfering all the towels. I was gonna need a lot for where I was going. "Anyway, are you sure you wanna tag along, given your past experience with your creator? And I'm not just asking that as a last-ditch attempt to weasel out of this deal either. I actually wanna make sure you're alright with this."

Alexis absentmindedly looked over to Aqua, the blue-haired dope gathering for her trip. "I wonder if she even realizes she Jacked you off…"

My face flushed red. "That's not how you use it!" I barked quietly, trying to make sure she wasn't heard by the rest of the gang. "And that didn't answer my question either!"

Her fingers grazed her now smiling lips. "Of course I don't mind. I have to help you prove that you're capable of 'avoiding temptations' after all," She giggled while her hands ran up her body a little, enough to let me know that I need to delete those damn subroutines… "You can avoid it, right Sir?"

I planted my foot on a nearby chair. Declaring loudly to the room, "Let it be known! I hate everything about this!" There was a beat as everyone looked at me, but I kept my evil pose up to strike my finger to the sky. "POSSE, TO THE BATHS!"

Guess who finally got around to watching the Megumin spinoff? Yeah, I knew it was gonna be good and that I'd like it because it's literally more Konosuba. I just had to get over the irrational stigma those "super hardcore ultra fans" left on me. And now that I took the plunge after the dust has long since settled, I feel more confident in pressing forward! You may have already noticed some key spinoff information already sprinkled into this chapter to reflect my newfound knowledge (even tho I should probably just read the damn books since they no doubt cut some stuff but whatever). Also, I may have some slight retconning ahead of me regarding Megumin. Nothing TOO major I believe, but I may want to look back at the earlier chapters and do some slight rewriting here and there. Something tells me the first couple of chapters of anyone's first fanfic are hardly their favorites, but I'll do what I can to maintain them. Wouldn't be surprised if I end up doing a major overhaul of Season 1...while still keeping in line with all these later chapters. Writing is hard, lol.

Anyway, for once, the next chapter won't be that long! Hope you guys are ready for a new POV shift!