"Who could've guessed one random conversation would lead to a holiday being imported across dimensions?" I asked myself while sipping a cup of hot cocoa on the couch.

Yes, by complete and utter accident, Christmas (or the cultural idea of it at least) had come to the town of Axel. We were in the middle of the winter season again and, as such, questing was more or less off the table for most people due to harsh weather conditions. Snow was falling particularly hard this year; probably the Winter Shogun being a pest as usual. It was getting harder just to walk down the street with how much snow was beginning to pile up…for anyone without a HeliBot or a flying car that is.

It was on one of these snowy nights at the Adventurer's Guild where I expressed my grievances with the season to the gang, citing Christmas as the only halfway decent thing to come out of it. Naturally, the mention of a beloved Earth holiday like that caught the attention of Satou, who couldn't help but inject himself into the conversation. He shared some of his Christmas stories with us, likely embellishing a thing or two just to tout himself as better than he actually was. Darkness and Megumin were nonetheless enamored with the festive holiday as Satou told his stories and I explained certain aspects of its tradition.

And then…other adventurers became interested. First it was Dust and his party. Then it was Chris followed by Luna. Soon everybody in the guild was huddling around our table to learn more about Christmas. Some even took notes!

After that, the buzz about a "fancy foreign holiday" spread like wildfire. Adventurers and townsfolk alike were suddenly getting into the newfound Christmas spirit. People began to decorate their houses and stores with wreaths and other approximations according to what Satou and I had mentioned in passing. Bakeries were quickly booming in business as customers ordered cookies "shaped like little men". Of course, some of the finer details were lost in the game of Telephone, resulting in some…creative liberties.

I don't know who it was that hung a stuffed Beginner's Bane head over the entrance to the guild, but they have my respect. And they did spruce it up with some pine needles, so it kinda looks Christmas-y I guess...?

Wiz and Vanir also received a spontaneous upswing in sales as everyone and their grandmother was out shopping for gifts. Why anyone in their right mind would want to wrap anything from that little shop of horrors is beyond me. But to each their own I guess. Who knows? Maybe Vanir put on a last-minute Christmas sale thanks to his uncanny foresight.

Which brings us to where this jolly craze unintentionally started. The JackBots all wore Santa hats as they zip-zoomed around the mansion to deck the halls with proper Christmas lights (the closest thing the average Axel citizen had was magic colored fire lamps). Darkness and Alexis were hanging candy canes on a pine tree they had cut down that day, the latter's hair-tentacle extensions coming in handy even if the former was having naughty thoughts about them. Aqua was building a gingerbread-themed gundam model out of milk cartons, Megumin watching in awe as she worked.

And I was content to sit by the fireplace and drink my hot cocoa in peace.

"Feel free to pitch in at any time, boss," Alexis half-heatedly snarked yet again.

"Pass," I answered all the same in between sips. "I already told you: Christmas is more of the JackBots' thing. If you and the girls wanna help them decorate, by all means. I'm fine with being a passive observer."

"Slow down, Mr. Grinch. Your heart almost grew three sizes there," Aqua quipped as she artistically dotted her model's pauldrons with fake gumdrops. "Where's your holiday spirit? Wait, let me guess…you get coal instead of presents every year, don't you?"

"For your information, I do get presents for Christmas. They're from my parents and extended family. But the Xiaolin Losers made it their personal tradition to break into my home every year and stuff my stocking with coal. No matter how tight security is on Christmas Eve, they find a way to spite me."

"To be fair, you do antagonize them a lot. It only makes sense they'd strike back from time to time," Megumin commented. When I turned to give her the evil eye, she raised her hands up in mock surrender. "But they can still go fuck themselves."

"Honestly, Megumin, it's disconcerting to hear you tarnish your vocabulary at such an early age," Darkness said while handing Alexis a candy cane to put on a higher branch. "Whenever my father overheard me let slip a vulgar word like that, he'd rinse my mouth out with soap. Slimy…disgusting…bitter soap~"

"AH-BUP-BUP! Leave your dad out of your episodes! Even if it's only indirectly!" I abruptly announced. Though it fell on deaf ears as Dark was already in her own little world again. "Anyway, isn't Christmas about doing things that make others happy? Well, I'd be real happy to be left to my own devices and maybe get a present from you guys. Thanks in advance!"

"Hey, if we're getting you presents, you gotta return the favor. This isn't your birthday," Megumin said pointedly, taking a break from gawking at Aqua's art project to poke my cheek.

"Simmer down, I know the rules. I'll make sure to get you all something. I'm not one of those lame villains who's oh-so opposed to Christmas. Even I'm not completely immune to the cheer."

"Good. Because I've already got an idea for your Christmas present. And if your present to me can't compare, you shall know the wrath of the Crimson Demons!" Megumin declared with her usual theatrics.

"I'm quaking in my boots," I said with a smirk, before actually quaking from a mysterious chill.

"HAH! You speak the truth, cowardly being! What's wrong? Has your mortal mind failed to come up with something to match my cursed greatness?"

"Cut the dramatics, theater kid! It just randomly cold in here all of a sudden," I said through chattering teeth, getting up off the couch to huddle closer to the fireplace. "Did somebody leave a window open? I'm not wasting the electricity that I only generate just to heat the outside!"

"Hmm…that's odd," Alexis muttered. "My thermo-scanners appear to be malfunctioning. I'm seeing random spikes of cold where there shouldn't be any. Unless there's some magic bullshit that I don't know about, I can't explain this."

"One of you dummies probably just forgot to close FridgeBot, relax," Aqua said in the most offhanded, intelligence-insulting way possible. I was about to let her have it when she started shivering too, thus vindicating me. "H-H-H-Hey! Th-Th-Th-That really is c-c-c-cold! WOAH!"

The water goddess was shivering so badly, she fell off the ladder she was standing on and crushed the model gundam she'd been working on. Once this clicked within her hamster-powered brain, she promptly bawled her eyes out.

"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Megumin asked while wrapping her cape around herself to preserve warmth. "Something is messing with the temperature. Jack, go fix it!"

"I suppose a 'please' is out of the question?" I grumbled irritably. But before I could even get up, another blast of frigid air hit me. And it was supernaturally cold enough to put the fire out too. If I didn't do something about this soon, we'd all get hypothermia at this rate!

That's when the wall busted down.

Blistering wind and freezing snow leaked into the living room. Proximity breach alarms went off all across the base as every JackBot was scrambled to confront the intruder. As I got up from the blast, shivering up a storm to rival the actual snow storm outside, I got a sense of déjà vu. And not just because this was all to similar to the Evil Snowman incident from back home…

"Oh no…it can't be…"

"Is…is that who I think it is?" Megumin asked with a tinge of fear in her voice.

"I think it is…" Aqua gulped.

Mhpm, mphm, mmm-mmm!

Being the closest one to the wall at the time, Darkness got hit with the full blunt of the blast, and was subsequently buried in a mound of snow.

The large figure responsible for the property damage slowly stepped out of the mist and into the house. Footsteps thundering as the icy titan's reflective body shined from the flashing red emergency lights. The traumatic experience with him was only recently repressed, but it filled me with dread all the same.

The Winter Shogun.

"What the hell is that thing, boss?" Alexis questioned as she steeled herself for battle, a platoon of JackBots rallying behind her. Though the Santa hats didn't exactly make for an intimidating show of force if you ask me.

I answered slowly and carefully, afraid that saying the wrong thing will make the monster go all slicey-dicey on my head again. "The embodiment of winter itself. Something you don't want to mess with for no good reason."

"Then would care to ask it why it's messing with us for no good reason?"

"M-M-Maybe he still holds a grudge over that Snow Sprite kill quest we took last winter," Aqua stuttered, partly from the cold but mostly out of fear.

I hissed at her, "I thought you said he was forgiving!"

"Well, sometimes I'm wrong, okay!? Everyone, prostrate yourselves now! Maybe he'll spare us if we show him what bootlickers we are!"

I was about to order the bots to stand down and follow Aqua's lead when I blinked and suddenly the Winter Shogun was right in front of me. Right…forgot he was faster than he looked.

"JACK!" The girls screamed.

I instinctively flinched, still not ready to have my head lobbed off a second time.

…But no blade came. Sure, I could still feel the Shogun's icy breath down my neck, but that also meant my neck was still on my shoulders. Hesitantly, I opened my eyes.

The subzero monster before me had its hand opened. What looked to be a pinecone covered in a thin layer of snow was resting in it. Naturally, I was left confused.

"Interloper…" The Winter Shogun spoke, stunning me and everyone else as we'd all assumed this thing was a mute. "Though you have once invaded my domain and slain my offspring for your own selfish desires, you have learned your lesson and have not disturbed me since. I know not how you have risen again, but that is irrelevant to what you have done recently."

"A-And, uh…what did I do recently…?"

"For millennium, your kind have grown to fear and even despise winter. This is not without its justification: crops die, livestock die, and the sick and old die. But that is simply the way of the seasons, the way of nature itself. People have neglected the beauty of this season, only dwelling on the hardships. And then you come along with your 'Christmas'."

Oh no...did I accidentally do something good again?

"The settlers of this land are full of…joy and merriment when they'd normally be cold and miserable. Your strange customs have finally given them a reason to be grateful this time of year. And it seems this will carry on for generations to come. This pleases me."

I know I said I wasn't a two-bit villain that hates Christmas, but I was seriously beginning to reconsider that notion the more Frosty here was praising me for being a goody-goody.

"Which is why, just this once, I have decided to appear before another soul unprompted to partake in your gift exchange," said the Winter Shogun before placing the snowy pinecone in my hands. "This pinecone is imbued with the secrets of the ice and frost. The snow on it will never melt and keep any room it is placed in as cool as the occupant likes. So even in the most torrid of summer days, the whispers of winter shall accompany you."

"Oh…uh, thank you," I mumbled, knowing better than to tell this poet of an ice elemental that I already own an AC. "D-Do you want me to go get you something in return, or...?"

"No need. Continue staying out of my affairs and I shall consider that enough of a gift. You have done good, Interloper. Farewell, and have a 'Merry Christmas'."

And on that note, the Winter Shogun disappeared in a whirlwind of snow. The storm died down, leaving me in a wrecked living room with stunned girls/robots and a ton of snow seeping into the carpets.

Darkness also had finally dug herself out of the snow pile she was buried in. "AH~! Oh, those endurance tests with the ice cubes have really paid off!" She looked around in confusion. "What happened?"

I glanced down at the magic pinecone I'd been gifted. For being on the Winter Shogun's personal Nice List.

"Bah humbug…"

Merry Christmas, everyone! Seeing as how the next chapter of the story is gonna be a long one to edit and I've only JUST gotten started on it, I figured I owed you all one. So, I whipped up this omake in the span of one day! Partly as practice to get back into the swing of things and partly as an apology for taking so damn long. Between the holiday shopping, working, and annoying healthcare complications, it's been hard to justify getting back to writing when all I wanna do is crash on the bed lol. But I promise I am working on the actual story now. In the meantime, though, enjoy this nice little festive holiday one-shot in the middle of a plot that's more suited for Halloween! Don't know where this would go in the timeline (or if it's even canon for that matter), but that's you to figure out I guess.

Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year~