Medieval castle's staircases were built for safety. Since most swordwielder fought with their right hand, the staircases were built counterclockwise. This means that the invader will have a hard time swinging his sword while fighting in the stairs, giving the person on the higher elevation an advantage. The steps themselves were built like a thin slice of pie so that the invader will lose his footing while trying to fight.

But none of those matter anymore.
Why? Because you can now walk on two feet.

You shivered this dawn. Even during the summer, the halls of the Ehrmich castle remained cold and moldy, much to Captain Levi's annoyance. The unused stairs remained mucid and uneven you had to be careful in every step. You wondered how many soldiers and invaders alike died in this place when the king of the walls once reigned.

You let the lamp lit your footing, one hand in your crutch as you looked for that storage room in the upper floors that Petra mentioned.

Third floor, right, fourth door. You remembered her instructions.

You murmured the directions in a sing-song manner, while your eyes looked passively over the row of doors.

Then you heard a moan.

Not the 'in-pain' kind of moan but like a 'writhing-drowning-in-pleasure' type of moan.
And on the gap of that door, right next to the storage room, was a faint yellow glow.

People are there.

You're in no hurry to return the crutch anyway and you can use it as an excuse to find out who's with who. You're never the probing type, really, not with the lives of people you have no business with.

But... you are curious.

They said you're a genius, and a genius just happens to be... curious, all the time. It's part of your nature you see, and you can't go against nature. No— no you are not the probing type. You're not that shameless. For research purposes, you wanted to learn who may be on the other side of the door.

You gulped, careful not to make any sound as you creeped closer...

On the gap...

...of the door.

There were exhales and inhales, soft curses and breath hitches...

The reverberating sound of wood against cement echoed on the dark halls, you tiptoed closer...

and closer...

"No more..."

Nanaba's messy, scandalous form was splattered in this gorgeous mahogany while Miche on the other end, was buried on her heat. She crunched to make eye contact; she tapped the table to protest but her partner was relentless in expressing his desperation for her taste.

You gulped at the scene. There was this strange spasm in your lower abdomen, a tickling tension sparked between your thighs. Torn between this urge to know what that feels like and the conscience to stop watching them, yet too shocked to move and take a step back.

You can always come back later. You thought, You can let them finish first and—

"Oi, what are you doing?"

Your neck almost snapped seeing Levi a few steps below. There was no way Nanaba and Miche couldn't have heard him, and because your luck is shit, you're the first one they'll see. It felt forever before your leg muscles twitched, giving you a head start. You recklessly ran back below to save yourself from the embarrassment that you're caught watching two grown people have sex.

You skipped a few steps, careful not to lose your balance, but the unevenness and slippery moldy stones on Ehrmich castle proved to be difficult.

So you crashed into captain Levi Ackerman, abandoning the crutch and the lamp— tumbling down the uneven spiral staircase while you clung on to the first thing you could hold onto.

Which in this case, was him.

You instinctively put your hand at the back of his head, mimicking the way he protected yours. You gritted your teeth at the unwelcomed pressure in your bandaged wounds, reminding yourself that you'll have to redo the bandages later in case they bleed again.

You shut your eyes and clung tightly to him. Step by step you stumbled and rolled on the staircase, until you crashed into a random wall, and then chaos stopped. You were slow to open your eyes, your breathing went from steady to subtle panting, and when you opened them entirely, you were greeted with lethal, grey eyes.

"What in the fuck—"

"Anyone there?" Miche's call haunted the staircase. You looked up and anticipated their footsteps.

"Did anyone see us?" It was Nanaba's turn to speak. Her soft curses reverberated through the walls, and you saw this as a chance to run away.

So you pushed yourself out of Levi's arms only for him to tighten his embrace.

Wait a minute...

He's... basically hugging you.
On a damp, dark staircase.

As if he actually wants you to stay.

"Enjoyed the show?" Or not. Beyblade master derided, like that wasn't the first time.

You blinked countless times before you realized that he got what you're trying to do: reduce Humanity's Strongest to Humanity's Strongest Peeping Tom, while you escape the shame. He didn't let you go— in fact, the more you pushed, the tighter his hug had become. You struggled and pushed and struggled for a long minute until your muscles couldn't... couldn't put any more strength.

"Don't you dare pin this on me you little shit." He throatily whispered.

Their footsteps got louder...

There is one thing you can do in this desperate attempt of preserving your reputation, but it's below the belt. Like literally, below the belt.

Maybe you should kick him where it hurts.

"Sir, let me go, I promise I'll do twice the work—" You heard approaching footsteps and your pleading whispers quickly turned into impatient, angry hisses.

They're just a few steps away.

"Sir, please let me go!" You hissed, hurry was palpable in your voice.

"Grit your teeth." Levi whispered.

"Wha— why?"

You felt him jolt, Levi's hold in your torso suddenly got tighter. Just what in the walls is he trying to do? You heard his knuckles pop; the vein in his neck protruded when he bolted out down the stairs, the feeling of which reminded you of that one time you rode the hellevator.

You swore not to ride the hellevator again after that.
Not even this; its spiral, evil twin.

You closed your eyes and did as he said: grit your teeth. You could've called this tiny, fun-sized, cookie cutter all the bad words in every language that you know, but instead, you held onto his shoulders; your fingertips dug into his collarbone and shame on you for undergoing three years of gear training and yet have this primal urge to pluck all hairs of humanity's strongest because you are being a total pussy.

You didn't breathe reading that, did you?

Your soul was always an inch away from your body, your hair was everywhere in your face and you're this close from pissing in 'humanity's strongest's' arm.

Levi tripped on the gaps of the stairs just before you could safely land on even ground. You tightened your butthole in case this will be another injury you'll take in the face. But Levi rolled instead, the back of his head ready to take the blow and crack his skull open.

You put your hands at the back of his head, anticipating the blow of his fall. Hands are the dirtiest part of the body. Given that they come into contact with almost anything regardless of contamination or not, they need to do that because that's how hands function. They do most of your business in the world you live in.

So if your hands are so precious to you, why would you take the fall of someone so capable and strong?

This is not good.

"You okay?" He said between his rugged breathing.

You said nothing.
In fact, you couldn't say anything.

"Hey Johnson."

He smells like freshly laundered cotton dried on a sunny day, rural life.
His breath smells like steamed corn for some reason, although he had always drank tea.

You didn't know why you did what you did, but when your fingers ran over his undercut, you were pleased to notice little bumps of skin sticking out in his nape.

He flinched, allowing some space between you, but never actually letting go.

Oh, this is so not good. Not for your reputation, and definitely not for your heart.

"Levi...?" Hange suddenly appeared out of nowhere. In fact— and as surprising as it sounds, a lot of soldiers were in the saloon at this time of day.

And what position are you in right now?

"What are you two doing— hugging in the middle of the main hall?"

Levi let you go and by instinct you sprung up, ten billion brain cells coming up with an excuse.

"I just wanted to return the crutch in the store room but I fell down the stairs before I could get to it then Captain Levi was behind me I swear nothing's going on Captain Hange we weren't hugging he was just—" You had to close your eyes...

"I swear nothing happened, Captain Hange." ... because you were endlessly rambling on, and you didn't know if you even made sense.

"Huh," Hange clicked their tongue. "Well—"

Then Miche and Nanaba showed up. There was empathy in Hange's eyes when they looked at you, before winking at you. You had to look around, there was this all-knowing look on others' faces.

So this whole incident is no news for them, huh?

"Good morning." Nanaba greeted cluelessly, her expression soon turned to bewilderment. Her magnificently smooth, toned, hairless legs spread between Miche's face just flashed in your mind you had to physically shake your head.

Levi turned his face away, his expression was unreadable and yet you can hear that mental groan seeping from his sideburns.

He looked like he caught them dozens of times before, but didn't utter a single word. And now he's done dealing with it once and for all.

"Something we missed?" Nanaba asked you.

"Nope." You lied, shaking your head. "None at all, ma'am—"

"Phoebe, your knuckles are bleeding." She worriedly informed you.

"Oh." They were in fact, bleeding.

"Erwin's coming for the gear adjustment." He turned to everyone, letting it slide once again. "Anyone who hasn't had their gear modified, wait here. Johnson," Levi glanced at your hands, then to you.

"Come with me."

This was your first time in the captain's office.

There's not much, really. You couldn't even call it minimal because it wasn't intended or decorated to be minimal. Levi just didn't have much stuff. You thought Levi liked the better things in life so you expected that he'd have a couple of fancy things like an expensive china set or an empty can of rare, loose tea, but there wasn't.

Judging by the absence of papers in his desk or on the floor, it seemed that the captain didn't like delaying his work.

You waited near the door which remained open. He never told you to close it; in fact he opened it so wide it said: 'I don't like rumors spreading about me.'

He opened a few drawers, then took out a medical box.

"Sir, there's a few more in the kitchen—"

"It's empty." He flipped the box with a soft thud, his eyes never laid on yours.

"Sir, I could just fetch the supplies if I know where it's kept." You reasoned out. "Erwi— the commander's gonna be here soon and I can just wipe the blood for now and tend to it later."

You scoffed as you observed the state of your hands. It wasn't like it can get anymore fucked up now, right?

Levi finally looked at you and with one nod he urged you to come closer. You pursed your lips in an uncomfortable smile, hesitantly walking up to him, until you're close.

"Closer," He quietly said.

You took a few more steps, the edge of his table nudged your abdomen. When he uttered the word 'hand', you raised one of them, and he slowly unrolled the bandages away.

You turned your attention to whatever was outside his window. You pretended not to run out of things to observe, repetitively counting the soldiers now on their morning footwork and making out shapes from the gorgeous whirl of clouds.

But it seems like he's taking his time patching you up.

"When Petra does it, it's really quick." You attempted to start a conversation by comparing how they treat you— great start. "No— I mean, it's okay to take your time, but the commander—"

"Your nails are fucked, it's ugly." He didn't even look at you, "Not that you'll die from this, but make sure you clean them everyday. Infection is a nasty thing."

"I clean them everyday." You responded, "Sir." You always forget he's ranked above you. Maybe it's the height...?

You use the medical kit more often than any soldier, or maybe you're the only person using it now. You're even surprised that that box never ran out of stock.

Who could be taking their time to restock the medibox in the kitchen?

"The wounds you got are shallow. Nothing's broken, but expect bruising in your knuckles." He said, now putting ointments in your wound. You never had ointment put in your wounds before because Jean and Connie used your last stock. It was always brine that washed them, and somehow, you're getting used to the sting of washing it with salt.

"Okay." You murmured, but enough that he heard you. Silence lingered in the room for quite a while. It began as an uncomfortable silence that most people would want to cover with meaningless, shallow conversation, and after a few minutes did it become comfortable.

Natural.

"Whatever I saw upstairs, pretend I didn't see it?" You confirmed the norm. He glanced at you when he had to switch your hands. You observed his technique and couldn't help but observe it's neater than how Petra's. It's also looser, more comfortable.

"Now you know why Miche keeps his beard trimmed." You snorted at his remark. You saw humor, amusement in his eyes, a small smile in the corner of his lips if anyone would observe really closely.

Like how you're doing.

He has such long, straight eyelashes and you've never wanted anything but to brush them with your finger. He meticulously tended to the weeks old wounds, as well as the more recent ones, like they were the only thing that mattered at the moment. You gulped, realizing that you shouldn't feel this serene with him or anyone in this place.

You'll leave, remember?

You heard horses outside which meant Erwin arrived. He held your finger tighter when you pulled away a little as if telling you to stay still.

"Just a few more, then we're done." He murmured, as if aware that it's just the two of you.

You were becoming aware of this too.

"You didn't have to do this sir," You said stiffly. "I moved instinctively. Besides, you took my fall and I brought you in my mess." You went on and on about why he shouldn't feel obligated to do something for you.

And to be honest, convincing yourself like this wasn't helping at all.

"If anything, I should be apologizing."

"You're done." Levi said, letting go of your hand, finger by finger, and each one he slowly took your breath, until you completely out of it.

Maybe it's because of how those then lethal, grey eyes, became softer in the fresh sunlight glow.

"Don't go to the third floor at dawn." He said after what felt like a few minutes. You inhaled a heap of air after forgetting for a while, after he finally broke that silence so comfortable, you thought you're falling for him.

No.

You have no right to do that in this place.
Not in this time.
And not with any of these people.

"Why? I could close the door after them." He chuckled softly in response.

You heard footsteps in the hallway, just before someone will appear in Levi's door frame and say everyone's waiting for you.

"You know why." He responded, now cleaning up.

"If I may ask sir, why were you there?" He let go of your hand, now meeting your gaze. He hesitated to speak for a while— no, not hesitate. He waited until that someone stood and waited in the door frame, so no further questions will be asked.

"Because we're out of bandages in the kitchen." He finally said.

And when you connected the dots, heat plagued your cheeks.

"Ah, damn it. I think we need to replace the plumbing." Rashad, a team leader under Hange's command, hit the floor with the wrench to express his frustration. You needed to get your tools from the kitchen and hurry back to the saloon, where Erwin and the rest waited.

"Who's putting coffee grounds in the sink?" That stopped you from moving. Everyone knew you had your own stash of caffeine, that's why everyone in the kitchen glanced in your direction.

"I did sir." You turned to face him, keeping your head low so he knows how sorry you feel. You were somehow ready for this.

"Do NOT put your coffee grounds in the sink!" You winced when he finally bursted out in anger. "You know what's harder than facing the titan outside? Coaxing patrons to pull out their wallets and give us some money!"

"I'll put it somewhere else sir." And you are sorry because you just have to do it, you see.

You need that pipe they bought from Sina to make a pipe bomb. That brittleness likened to glass is just the right kind you needed for the shrapnels of the bomb to easily thrust itself out. Since glass costs a lung-kidney price in this world, you did what you had to do.

"You can revamp gears all day, but you can't throw your damn coffee grounds outside?" He mumbled bitterly, still keeping your head low, aiming that your face remained calm and stoic.

"I'm sorry sir."

"Dispose the pipe kid. You should at least feel responsible for this." You nodded, looking at the filthy thing got removed and set aside for disposal.

There goes what you're waiting for, the only thing missing that will encase everything together.

"I'm so sorry sir." Rashad didn't speak or mumble. Thinking he's past his outburst, you glanced at him, and Rashad was on salute.

"At ease, Rashad." Erwin Smith arrived with his golden, tousled hair that used to be impeccably combed. You guessed he hurried back when he visited the patron Rashad was talking about. You wondered if Erwin had an instance when the funds are low and there's no one who wanted to finance Survey corps. Maybe those early onset of forehead lines tell exactly such a story.

Or maybe the nightmares too.

The captain towered over you. Actually, if he extended his arms up just a little bit, he'll definitely reach the door frame easily. You were about to give him a salute like any other soldier but Erwin Smith supposed to greet you another way.

"We meet again, cephalopod." He said so teasingly.

"Hello sir," You said sheepishly, a second late regretting your response. "I mean— commander."

"You can use the salute when Commander Pyxis is around. It's just us." You moved out of his way. He moved around while unbuckling his gear, Miche and the other soldiers began crowding the open kitchen along with their gears.

You saw this as a cue to tie your hair, feeling a difference of how Levi did your bandages as opposed to how you clumsily do it. You weren't anxious if it will come off as you finger-combed your hair to tie, and the tightness did not press uncomfortably in the wounds when you folded your fingers.

The cauldron simmered; the fire crackled.
The growing crowd of soldiers sardined the kitchen, and the temperature got hotter.

You tucked the tendrils of your hair behind your ear, as you heaved your tools on the table for easy access. You began unscrewing Erwin's 3DMG, and got on with the job.

He watched your hands as you fumble over his gear. He occasionally asked some questions about how you knew the mechanism worked and why you studied the whole thing when you perfectly knew it was illegal. There were murmurs that were turning to full blown conversations, but Erwin's presence muffled them all.

You could hear your thoughts so clearly as if he housed you in a dimension where only the two of you exist. And in there, you felt safe to pass by whatever your mind made you think.

As authoritative as he is, there is something so comforting about him. A sense of peace when he asks his curiosity-induced questions. He almost looks like a child asking incessantly and like a toddler with twinkles in his eyes when he explains how he understands things.

And a gentleman when he asks if you see things differently than he does.

It was easy letting your guard down with him, you thought the books lied to you. Was this man really capable of dragging people to the pits of Gehenna on his death?

"Isn't it painful working with those hands?" Erwin asked.

"The threshold of pain in women is usually higher, sir." You said which earned you an arched eyebrow.

"I read that somewhere too. Maybe that's why childbirth is said to be painful— the most painful sensation a human can possibly go through."

"Wrong." You dared to rebut the commander, but he looked more amused than pissed. "It's Trigeminal Neuralgia. It's described as a severe shooting pain near your jaw, like you're getting hit by electric shock in the face. It can last about two minutes or two hours and you're unable to do anything."

"What causes it?"

"Irritation in the nerve, mainly, but it gets triggered by anything— be it eating, yawning, or even the wind. Worse, women are more susceptible to it."

"I guess we happen to be lucky."

"No, not really. Men are the only species to experience penile fracture." You stole a sight of his stifled smile, like he's amused the conversation has come to this.

"Men get it from blunt sexual trauma.. like..." You cleared your throat, "fucking too hard."

He chuckled at the remark, while you hastened to finish his gear. There were more soldiers who have not had their gears modified and you're scheduled to finish at least twenty-six to thirty more today.

You started to sweat. The air was warmer and thicker now.

"Done." You nonchalantly dropped his gear on the table, late again to realize you were talking to the commander of this Legion. You picked it up and handed it with more respect, clearing your throat to imply your apology.

And the magic of being with the commander, now gone.

Levi made his way to Erwin, while you worked on the next gear. He whispered something in the commander's ear, and you chose to dunk your head on the work than listen to their conversation.

"Alright, I understand." You heard Erwin respond. "Johnson," You looked up to meet the commander's gaze.

"You will test vertical back support today, I was told?" You glanced at Levi. So they wanted to test the commander's gear while testing the prototype you came up with.

"Yes sir," you responded, feeling warmth ooze from your nose.

"Johnson, your nose is bleeding," Erwin was suddenly alarmed. You immediately felt it up, the coppery taste of blood came palpable in the roof of your mouth. You quickly tilted your head, only for Levi to duck your head once again, his handkerchief waited to catch the slow ooze of blood.

"You want the blood out, not in." Levi said. He let you take his handkerchief, while telling the soldiers to leave their gears in the saloon and wait outside. Is this from stress? Well, you haven't been eating and sleeping much lately, and it's because there's just so much to do and you're the only person who can do what you do. You felt that terrible swirl of vertigo set in as you held onto the edge of the table to steady yourself.

Maybe you should listen to Miche and Petra. They've been nagging you so much, Petra even sneaks two bars of those high-caloric ration biscuits they serve during the Trost breach.

Maybe you should take solid food instead of dousing coffee in your throat. You couldn't help though, it's an easy fix.

"You can rest a while in the infirmary if you so wanted," Erwin said. "You may decide."

You painstakingly looked around, seeing few soldiers you recognized. Gunther opened all the windows; Petra came with cold water to drink and Nanaba got you a wet towel to cool you down.

Miche and Eld Jinn were crowd controls.

Oluo came in with a stretcher.

You couldn't help but smile against the handkerchief.

So this is Survey Corps, you thought. This is them without the titans. This is them without the gear. You stared at them for a while, recording this in your memory. This is what you came for, the better days no one had seen. Moments like this make you refuse to believe Paradis and their great, yet tragic story were all there is to it, and finally, you found proof.

"When you see them like this, it's really difficult to think about rest, sir." You said, smiling at Erwin, putting down the handkerchief and continued working. There was silence in the kitchen aside from the boils in the cauldron and the crackling of fire...

They let you continue in peace, you, resting only when you exceeded your quota of about forty-nine gears.

That night, you were told to rest in the infirmary, and no work was allowed until you get good hours of sleep.

You like the beds in the infirmary. They were firm which felt good in your back. You liked how you didn't share its confinements, despite how easy it is to split the curtain and catch you doing something. You liked its dimness, but not the coldness and the silence of its hollow halls.

Silence allows your thoughts to roam like a hurricane, and there is no dome to protect you like that one Erwin built for you this morning.

You thought of Marco which led to the thought of Jean. Marco's remains shouldn't have been burnt considering his death occured after Survey corps piled and burned their dead. He was always so eager to help, that kid. He wasn't just helpful or kind, he possessed this wisdom not a lot of young people his age are usually fond of, or have. If there's anything resembling him, it was Armin and how he chooses talking over problems before resorting to force.

And Mina.

The ever talkative Mina. Chirpy, bubbly... maybe that's what Thomas was initially attracted to. At first, you weren't interested in associating with anybody but Historia was persistent and Mina is the first to change their heart about you. She suddenly asked about your preference towards guys despite the discrepancy of your age. You remembered blinking a lot, thinking you've never updated your ideal guy list since you were thirteen.

Who is your ideal guy now?

You heard footsteps on the aisle, and you hurried to wipe your tears. You pretended to sleep, until he called, that laid back, throaty voice you'll recognize in one note.

"Johnson," Levi called. You gave your face a swipe, and turned to him. He wore his button down without the straps or the boots or the standard jacket, and you can tell he just took a bath.

"Sir," You sat right up, thankful that the room was dim enough that he won't notice if your eyes were puffy or red.

"I saw your schedule, a little behind." You nodded in agreement. "We might need to use your day-off this week for the testing." He said, and you immediately protested.

"I can't. I—" You bit your lip, second guessing if your choice of word was impolite. "I mean sir, I'm sorry but I have something planned—"

"A date?"

"No—"

"A family dinner?" That somehow pissed you off—

"Grave visits." You looked at him in the eyes with such sincerity Levi did not bother responding back. You held your ground, your stance wasn't shaken or moved an inch. You've worked today more than anytime this week. Hange also gave you an A-okay to visit Marco and Mina's grave days after you agreed to work for them.

"Just half a day," You croaked as tears began to pool in your eyes, gulping them to keep them at bay.

"Please."

There were long, few seconds before he nodded his approval.

"Half a day, I'll see you in the afternoon." You nodded.

And somehow, the night had gotten warmer when Levi left.

Well... someone's starting to warm up, and someone's starting to show they care.

tbh, I pity Phoebe here. She's can't even have time to mourn. She even have to beg.

Also, I don't know if you noticed but she's actually treated like a machine... that they own.

And she didn't notice because well... a fish doesn't know it's a fish, when it's so used being a fish, right?

So when Levi saw her on the verge tears (upon saying that she wanted to visit Mina and Marco's grave on her supposed day-off) it's like a wake up call that he's actually dealing with a human who has perfectly balanced and reasonable emotions.

Something he repressed having because well, titles like Humanity's Strongest can be a heavy burden.

Thanks for reading! Hope to see you in the next chapter!