"The way I see it, there are 2 paths we can go down: we go outside before we're stabbed in the back, or we exterminate our would be killers first." There were gasps from every member.

"So choose Hange." Levi's voice seemed louder at the silence of the night, which only made Hange's shoulder grow tense.

"Both of them," Hange said, after seconds of pause, they answered. "We'll do both at the same time." Hange's voice was surer— firmer, the more they spoke. "Miche's squad's in charge of watching over the shifters, my squad will gather intel about Historia's father, and Levi's squad will be our offense. Keep Eren and Historia safe."

"Huh," Levi clicked his tongue, a faint smirk lingered in his lips. "That's exactly what Erwin would say."

"Sir, not that I'm questioning your order but why did you bait the real Eren and Historia? We could've used someone else." Petra calmly asked one more time, because like any other sane person, she must've thought that Levi has gone mad. He did, mad enough to believe you that is.

You swung yourself up to the roof to join Petra and Levi, as the others watched Dimo Reeves' men cup and fondle Historia's growing breasts. It was excruciating to watch so you had to get out of there quickly before you clock the motherfuckers, but if Levi trusts you this much, you need to give back the same amount of trust.

And patience is what that looks like.

"What's it look like inside?" Levi asked as he crouched on the roof, holding on to the chimney for support.

"Historia's getting molested sir." You responded. He wasn't surprised nor alarmed. He had a head start. "There are three of them—"

"Three grown men molesting a kid?" Petra however, struggled to hold her marbles. "Sir are you really going to let Historia—"

"Reeves's going in." Levi straightened his posture, readying to jump down. When the command was given, a rush of cold, rancid air slapped your face as you charged in. The wheeze of your gear was freeing, the curve of which you hopped from one roof to another was oddly exciting. Your footsteps were light on the rooftop, and you stood there, overlooking Trost, watching your squad's back while they freed the baits.

"For situations like this," You mouthed Reeves' line by memory, "We need to start stripping our captives."

And countless gears wheezed to the ground, hard thumps of boots hit your ears followed by the henchmen's unfamiliar groans.

And it wasn't too long until silence in the warehouse was restored.

"Phoebe!" Eld shouted, pinning Reeve's in the ground, "There's three of them! Is that really everyone?!"

You peeked from the warehouse window and shouted: "Yeah, that's everyone and there's no one else nearby!"

You took out your waterskin and drank from it, momentarily inhaling the cold, rancid air. Looks like they pulled it off.

You watched the squad from above. Reeves' henchmen were aligned in columns, restrained and gagged, their backs facing the ceiling. Petra especially focused on that one man all over Historia, panting and salivating, his shameful bulge protruding even from the distance you watched from.

Petra stepped at his groin, twisting her foot to kill his hard on. But Petra soon realized that stepping on him only aroused him more.

"Historia!" You called out, tossing the waterskin you just drank from. The maiden fumbled to catch the stiffened bag, and had a harder time taking the cork out with her trembling fingers. Water was the only comfort you could give.

"Let me," Eren said, popping it for her. The maiden nodded in thanks. You watched the two delve into a conversation, their subtle gestures and animated expressions told a story that Eren was trying to comfort her.

"This is him sir," Eld said, pointing at Dimo Reeves. "He's the top merchant in Trost. His business sustains the town."

Levi clicked his tongue as he bent his knees, "Mr. Reeves," he said, "How'd you prefer to be called?"

"His men call him boss," You interjected from above. Levi brushed you a look, then quickly peeled it off as soon as you finished your sentence with 'captain'.

You looked away from the squad to man the premises. No suspicious carriage, no back ups, no nothing. It was too perfect to be staged as kidnapping. Wasn't this all planned by Levi's uncle?

Man, you're really going against the Ackerman uncle, huh?

You have no idea what Levi had in mind when you told him about the coup. Every detail, every injury, every life taken by his blade, you spared no detail from your captain.

Not even Kenny's death.

You saw the squad appear from the entrance, with Reeves between Levi and Eld.

"Phoebe," Your captain called, and nudged his head to signal you all had to go.

Go where, exactly?

"Why'd you take me all the way here?" Reeves lit his cigarette, his feet dangled in the high walls of Trost. The air was too cold but at least, the smell of decay didn't reach here.

"This is my hometown. Trost's outer gate— er, former outer gate." He huffed a cigarette, and offered it to Levi.

Levi ignored him, and the man chuckled wryly.

"You don't smoke?"

"I don't want to look or smell like you."

"So you took me to lecture me here about smoking?" Reeves grinned, puffing another. "Please soldier, give me a break, being up here isn't easy on my old body."

"Shit, you're right. I hate seeing an old man get chewed out." Levi sat beside him; cold air blew his fringe and all you thought at that moment was what would it feel to run your fingers across his hair and nestle your face at the base of his neck. To breathe his scent hiding under the warmth of his collar. You'd want nothing else but memorize it; how his name would softly slip from the curves of your lips and his dry, chapped ones would take it from you, carving it with his tongue, sketching it inside your mouth, marking you in the skin.

He looked so cool when he grabbed that henchman by the neck and slammed him in the hard cement.

Oh god— you had to mentally slap yourself. You mentally took a picture of what Trost looks like from above. That or your captain in the most inappropriate place and time.

"So tell me, what was the point of the deal you made with the interior MPs?" Levi asked.

"Deal?" Reeves replied, puffing another smoke. "There was never any deal. We followed orders we were given. The point was to follow orders so that we didn't lose anything."

"Historia," you approached the kid who was more restless than she'd ever been. "You have the water—"

"HUH?!" Eren abruptly stood, making you jump. "CAPTAIN LEVI—"

"But you'll have three conditions," You caught Levi's quick glance before proceeding. "One."

Reeves will join the Survey Corps in opposing the Interior Military Police, Royal government and its decrees;

Two: To trust the Survey Corps wholeheartedly and;

"Three," Levi raised an eyebrow when he heard your deadass giggling like a seagull in the corner that when he shot you with a glare, you had to refrain yourself.

"From now on, the Survey corps will receive priority access to any rare or luxury food, drink or product the Reeves company obtains." Levi paused for emphasis.

"Tea, for example."

"Well, Sir Oluo hasn't had meat for a while…" Gunther mumbled coolly.

"Oi!"

"The whole Paradis and a good cut of meat for two kids?" Eld chuckled wryly as he crossed his arms and nodded to himself. "Seems cheap to me."

"I wonder if Reeves has cosmetics…" Petra sheepishly nudged you.

Wait— she's beside you and is talking to you?!

"U-Uh yeah…" You tucked loose tendrils at the back of your ears. "I bet he has some."

"But of course, nothing like yours." Petra smiled. You didn't know how to react to that, but it felt nice to talk again.

"Sir Levi, is that really okay?" Eren interjected, "I don't mind being handed over but Historia—"

"Trust him, Eren." You threw yourself in the conversation, giving the boy a warm, confident smile. You watched Levi from a distance, his solemn back slightly curved from exhaustion.

"Is that really… gonna be okay?" Eren anxiously muttered, his eyes seeking reassurance from you.

"Hmm," You nodded, your smile never faded. "The captain has a plan."

"Seems you're greedier than a merchant." Reeves snickered, offering his hand for a handshake.

And the clouds gathered to gray weather, the air turned cold and sticky to the skin. Silence plagued the high walls of the Trost but the aggressive howling of the winds.

The conversation ended with men exchanging handshakes, sealing the premises into a deal and Levi's plan was put into action.

Loving the rain, you learned, has varying degrees. You love it when you're at home, covered in layers of thick blanket, on your comfy PJs or almost nothing at all, as some generic soft Lofi tickles your ears at the perfect volume.

You love it less when you're outside in your cute outfit for the day, with your umbrella to shield you from the pour.

You hate it, however, when you're cold, wet and shaking from hunger, as your horse galloped to some secret spot that turned out to be Eren's former hideout.

You guessed that Bertholdt and Ymir were in that well in front of the wooden cabin.

"Connie!" You heard Sasha call out. Damn, she ID'd you by your scent. "Tell Captain Miche Phoebe's coming!"

You waited by the doorstep, and it wasn't long until the squad welcomed you in with a towel and warm water, and you gratefully received them with your trembling fingers.

"T-Thanks," You said, encircling your palms on the hot cup to take its heat.

"Mechanic to messenger," Miche chuckled, seeing you wet as a chick, "That's a huge downgrade. What's up?"

"Y-Ymir…" You sounded wobbly, "I h-have to take Ymir back with me..."

And the mood turned tense, the squad looked perplexed.

"I can't guarantee your safety going back with her, Febe. You're going to deal with a titan, are you sure?"

"A-Am not but I-I can talk to her…" Your body uncontrollably shivered to generate heat. "I'll try to-to talk…"

Miche paused and gave you a disapproving look. He looked around his subordinates, mirroring the same expression he wore.

"Is this an order from Erwin?" Miche asked.

"A-A suggestion from Captain Levi…" You sniffed, "He wanted to use Ymir for the up-upcoming attack."

"How does he plan on doing that?" Miche crossed his arms. "And all we're told is we should be looking after the two titans. What's happening in Trost?"

"So Levi handed over Historia and Eren to Reeves to kidnap Sannes to learn about Historia's identity? I don't understand. What's with Historia?"

"Yes," You replied, a little calmer now. "That's what Captain Hange is trying to figure out why the MPs wanted her and Eren so badly. Sir Levi wanted me to bring Ymir back to convince her to fight on our side."

You heard a mixture of baffled, even protesting noises in the background while you sipped on the third cup of hot water Nanaba graciously provided you with.

"That shorty went too far…" Mikasa growled in the corner. "Handing over Eren…"

"And don't forget Krista— Historia now is it?" Connie said.

"But if I may ask sir," Armin inserted himself in the conversation. "When the commander said that he's planning a coup, is he planning to use Ymir to attack inside the walls and blame it on the monarchs? If the commander did that, the people might want to kill Eren for being a titan too." Armin broke his trail of thoughts to ask for your opinion.

"Does the commander want to make the Survey corps look like heroes if we 'defeat Ymir' in public?"

You didn't know what to say. You didn't want to spoil the future for him; that one of these days, the Anti-personnel Control Squad will hunt all Survey Corps members in Trost. So you feigned innocence, like you knew nothing about Levi's plans.

"That's all I know, Armin. Captain Levi is hesitant to share his thoughts. But I believe you saw how Ymir looked at Historia, even in the Training years, didn't you all?"

They couldn't deny it; it was too obvious. The younger members looked at each other with a defeated look.

"I think that's what the Captain is betting on." You said with utter confidence in your captain's plans.

There was silence but the crackles of fire in the hearth. You caressed the rim of the cup by your thumb, waiting for Miche to say something.

"Very well." Miche finally said, slapping his thigh before standing from where he sat. "We'll prepare a carriage for you—"

"No, you don't need to sir." You smiled. "No one's around to see us, and if it's okay, I've always wanted to ride on a titan's shoulder."

So this is how it feels to ride a titan's shoulder, and you never want to do it ever again. You managed to catch her up with everything that had been going on just in time before you arrived. Ymir let you down before letting her titan self disintegrate in the air, stretchy veins or some kind of nerves were attached to below her eyes before they eventually fell off.

And you puked beside her, after all the jumpy-walkie thing she did to get to this small house by the cliff. Motion sickness while talking is the worst!

"Who got here before us?" Ymir said, brushing the remaining titan flesh off her shoulders as the chunks steamed to oblivion.

"Probably Nifa," You sounded throaty from all the secreted bodily fluids from your throat. You stood, wiping your drool in your chin and stepping in on her bubble, preventing her from moving anywhere near that door.

"A word before we go in?" It didn't sound like a question because you didn't intend it to be. Ymir glared at you, giving back the same tone in your words by the sharpness of her eyes.

"I won't take the future Queen away, I won't even try to." She said, "I've decided, I want to stand by her while she makes her own decisions."

You loosened the tight space you locked yourselves into, but Ymir held unto that tension.

"But Phoebe," She called out, "What do you get from this? Why want me by her side?"

You thought hard; longer than any of the hardest questions you've ever encountered, most complicated than any theories you've ever read. Why do you want Ymir by Historia's side? No, that's not it— why do you want Levi's plans to succeed?

You hate their losses. You hate their tragedy and you never wanted to experience anything similar when once, in this very town, you had a taste. You want them to live longer, live better, you want to leave knowing that somehow, they made it.

But is that really all?

Sometimes, when you're alone, do you entertain the thought of what life would be like, thriving with them? Growing old with them, being with them?

Staying here with them?

That maybe, if you're smart enough and lucky enough to choose the smart choices, there will be peace on the surface, above all hell that is their whole world and you'll have a place here, with them?

Is that selfish to even think about, knowing well that you'll give up everything you've ever known?

"I don't know," You muttered, feeling weak and sunken. Blinking once, blinking twice. Ymir gently pushed the tendrils of hair away from your face, patting your shoulder and letting the weight of her hand resonate.

"I had an inkling about Historia's identity when they retrieved Eren," Ymir quietly declared.

"I know," You muttered as quiet, as you stepped further away. "You probably thought it was better to leave after that, knowing this place had hope or something along those lines…"

Ymir chuckled wryly. "I did. You know what went through my head that time?"

"Tell me."

And her answer ripped all logic to pieces, but it knew how to mend itself in a way your heart understood.

You led Ymir inside the cabin. Humidity with bodily odours in every intake of air, the group watched in horror as Levi asked the question before glancing at the newcomers by the door.

"Historia… as the Queen?" Eren asked, "Is that the main goal of this revolution?"

"That's right." Levi confirmed. "Historia, your thoughts?"

"I…"

"Historia." And the girl turned her head, finding Ymir standing at the back of the crowd. Historia didn't know who to look at first— the woman she inspired, and the blood she was born to, it confused her which takes precedence.

"I did. You know what went through my head that time?"

"Tell me."

"It's alright." Ymir said, dispersing noise with the comfort in her tone. "Whatever you choose. I'll be here. I'll stay with you."

"I owe them the life I took from them." Ymir chuckled wryly. "And the boys are fucked if they went back empty-handed."

"And we won't?" You were getting heated. Why? You have no idea, but it felt like you were talking to yourself more than you were talking to her. "You chose to stick around because you care about her, and Daz when he got lost in the mountains, and everyone— and that's not selfish at all—"

"Who are you talking to, Johnson?" Ymir's question hit too hard for being honest. "If I told you I'm the nicest girl you'll meet, you won't believe me, won't you?"

You scoffed. "Get to the point—"

"I'm betraying myself by staying here." Ymir responded quietly, pride tinted her voice. "Because for once, I want to know what's in store for me if I'd be honest about what I want. It's the first time I wanted something this bad, Phoebe."

Historia's eyes were oceans to heavens, completely entranced by Ymir's bright, honest, brown ones. Fight for her, kill for her, die for her. They shared a dialogue that no one but them could hear.

"And if wanting something is selfish, you got my answer."

Historia peeled her gaze off Ymir, and with a determined, hard expression, she faced the captain.

"I can't rule the walls, sir. I'm unfit."

"Yeah?" Levi walked closer to Historia. "Doesn't matter—"

"But," Historia said loudly, halting him on his tracks. "It doesn't matter if I'm unfit. I know that much, but I'll do it."

"What's yours?"

Historia's voice reverberated in the four corners.

"I'll be your Queen." Historia clenched her fists, facing everyone.

"I'll play as the Queen of the walls."

Pretty lengthy chapter, the italics in the latter parts is a flashback conversation between Ymir and Phoebe before they went inside the cabin. So Ymir chose to stay and she was urging Phoebe to choose too.

When I studied Ymir's character for the plotting of this arc, I found this post on reddit and I think they explained Y's character arc very well. I wish I could link it, there's no link button here. :(

And I kinda did some twisting to make her stay. That's where the line: "I'm betraying myself by staying here." came from.
Because they kind of have the same dilemma of staying or going, but P is still denying the answer she wanted, and is forcing the logical answer, the one she doesn't want.

So Ymir was like: Caring until the end is what my true self is, but not necessarily what I want. Like, So if I did what I want this time (which is to stay with H), I'm choosing to throw who I am (a kind, selfless girl), and ultimately, betraying myself.

That's what I decide to do. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Thank you for reading. I hope you're enjoying so far. :)