Titans: Elemental
Chapter 17: Mad Mod
Dick sits up after a moment with a huge gasp!
This place is a large, partially lit atrium with several balconies running around the walls, as well as paintings hung everywhere.
Dick is sitting in a polished wooden chair. His wrists and ankles are securely bound to it; Dick struggles against the restraints, but cannot get loose. Near him is Starfire in a chair of her own. Now the lights have fully come up to show one Titan after another also clamped into chairs. They are all half-unconscious, but come around with assorted groans, and each has an additional binding. Red energy rings at Starfire and Blackfire's wrists, steel straps over Vic's chest, a white energy band encircling Raven's, giant rubber bands on Beast Boy's, Jack's staff was strapped to the back of his chair, where he couldn't teach it while he was bound. The same for Rose's staff and sword.
Vic asked in confusion, "what?"
Rose said, very confused, "how the-?"
BB asked, "huh? Am I the only one who has no idea where we are?"
"Why, you're right where you belong, my duckies."
Beast Boy gasps upon hearing these words. They all see a man standing at an open set of double doors on one balcony. Light from the other side obscures him for the moment, but a cane can be seen in one hand. This is Mad Mod.
Mad Mod exclaimed, "you're in school!"
He leaps onto the banister of a nearby staircase and slides down it, giving a full view of himself. Early forties; red hair in a Beatle cut with mutton chop sideburns; small rectangular sunglasses; sport coat with the design of the British Union Jack flag, a black shirt, white kerchief tied at the neck, a pair of white pants, brown shoes with black socks. The cane is topped with a large ruby. Landing near Starfire, he twirls it in one hand.
Mad Mod said, "that's right, lads and loveys. You're the only students at Mad Mod's Institute for Bratty Young Do-Gooders", he tosses the cane high, to his other hand, and holds it out, "and it's high time someone taught you sprogs a lesson."
BB said, "uh-oh."
Jack asked, "this ain't gonna be a normal day, is it?"
Mad Mod starts strolling leisurely towards the Titans, the ruby on his cane is blazing. As he nears the Titans, he raises the stick for a swing.
Dick yelled, "Titans! Move!"
Rose groaned, "we're trying!"
The others are unable to break their bonds; Beast Boy cycles through lizard and cobra forms as he strains against his. Jack desperately tries to reach his staff. Mad Mod is now prancing around at the foot of the stairs and twirling the cane.
Starfire said, "my star bolts are useless!"
Blackfire said, "so are mine!"
Mad Mod said, "specially designed chairs, love. Can't have those nasty superpowers disrupting my lecture now, can I?"
He leans closer to Starfire as Blackfire growls in anger.
Dick yelled, "get away from her!"
The bizarre Brit straightens up and glances over at Dick, and thrusts the cane into his face. Its ruby flares up anew, more intensely, and Dick recoils from the glare as far as he can.
Mad Mod said, "now don't get your knickers in a twist, my little snot. I didn't go to all the trouble of building this school and filling your tower with knockout gas just to finish you off lickety-split."
Jack muttered, "clearly not."
Raven asked, "then what do you want?"
Mad Mod said, "just what I said, dearie", he leans into her face, "to teach you lot a lesson", he turns away and scratches himself, "yes, I've been watching you children misbehave. And I hate misbehaving children."
He points the cane off to one side. A picture of him, done in the style of Andy Warhol, turns around to show Vic, Jack and Raven beating on Thunder and Lightning.
Mad Mod said, "fighting crime."
We see a second such painting, which swivels to show Dick, Rose and Starfire cradling kittens they have rescued from a blazing fire behind them.
Mad Mod said, "saving lives."
A third picture turns to show BB, as a dog, pulling down Plasmus' shorts as Blackfire holds a bucket of ice over it.
Mad Mod said, "interfering with the plans of hardworking villains. Why, you lot are nothing but a bunch of troublemakers!"
Jack starts making a loopy face before Mad Mod turns back to them.
As he points the cane around, each in turn reacts with varied expressions of fury.
Mad Mod said, "but you'll learn your place soon enough. You see, I'm older than you, so I'm bigger, badder, and better."
Vic tried to yell, "say wh-?!"
Vic is bashed with the cane.
Vic yelled in pain, "OW!"
Rose muttered, "this guy's a loon."
BB whispered, "watch it Rose, my mama's half loon."
Jack asked, "really?"
BB said, "no, not really, I can't back that up."
Mad Mod said, "shut it! You're in my world now. And you won't be getting out 'til you've learned some proper respect."
Dick growled, "we will get out. And when we do-"
A gesture of the cane is followed by the ringing of a school bell.
Mad Mod said, "oh, dear, there's the bell, my duckies. Off to class!"
The floor tile under each chair opens like a trapdoor, dumping each Titan in their chairs out of sight.
….
Dick drops into view and makes a perfect four-point landing in the middle of the floor. The chair rotates until it is facing a large blackboard. The side walls are blank, the board is on the end wall, and two busts of Mad Mod flank it. The man's face is quickly drawn on in chalk as the board speaks with his voice.
The Blackboard said, "now how can I teach you anything if you won't sit still and listen?"
A wooden hand extends from the chair's top edge and grabs Dick's head. He tries to wriggle out of the grasp, but with no luck; it is pulling back on his scalp, forcing his eyes wide open.
The Blackboard said, "one of my hypno screens ought to get your attention and it'll erase everything in your brain as well."
On the end of this, the chalk face swirls away and the board is replaced by a pulsating pattern of concentric black and white rings.
His laughter rings in the room.
Dick groaned, "can't let him hypnotize me…. Got to stay focused…."
His eyes are pulled even wider open, and the pattern starts to affect him. The rings are flashing across every wall. With great effort, Dick manages to tip the chair onto its side, breaking some of the wood from one of its arms. Underneath, his wrist is held down with a metal clamp. He flicks a small lockpick out from one finger of that glove, uses it to free that arm in short order, and tears the wooden hand from the chair top. One hard throw cracks the hypno screen wall and puts it out of business; now he sets about freeing his other three limbs. The other walls have returned to normal, and Mad Mod's voice makes itself heard over a hidden speaker.
Mad Mod said, "naughty snotty. If you're gonna destroy school property, school property's gonna destroy you."
Dick said, "whoa."
On the ruined wall, something very large starts to push through; it is a fabric screen, and it pulls back to show an enormous missile ready to launch.
Mad Mod said, "right, then. Count along with Moddy."
One of the two busts extends laser muzzles from its eyes and spinning blades on jointed arms from its ears.
Mad Mod counted down, "ten…. Nine…. Eight…. Seven…. Six…. Five…. Four…. Three…. Two…. One!"
During the countdown, the bust and its identically aimed counterpart move in and fire at Dick. He rolls across the floor and hurls himself at them. He quickly hides behind one and ducks as the other fires and blows its head off. He pushes the remains aside, gives the missile a good long look, and bolts to the ruined wall. Finally, he dives through the cloth to make his escape.
We see Dick, now going full tilt down a tunnel done out in the checkerboard pattern. The weapon roars up behind him, entering through a trick black panel, and detonates with a blast that throws him against the wall. He stands up and dusts himself off before polishing the bird symbol on his chest.
Dick said, "there goes my shot at perfect attendance."
Mad Mod said, "don't be so sure, my little duckie."
Dick looks down the tunnel. Sure enough, there Mad Mod is down the way, now wearing a dark suit.
Mad Mod said, "you may be out of the classroom, but class is never dismissed."
He goes up the side, so that he is standing upside down on the top surface, and runs at Dick. He passes overhead as Dick jumps up in a vain attempt to grab him.
Mad Mod said, "next lesson: physics!"
Dick said in shock, "huh?"
Mad Mod said, "what goes up, stays up!"
Dick growled, "until I take it down!"
The chase begins, ranging through a network of staircases and arches that connect floor to floor. We follow them through a trick of perspective and design, the checkerboard ceiling has more stairs coming down from it. M. C. Escher would be proud! Now they move into a region of black and white cubes, Dick right side up and Mad Mod upside down, approaching from opposite directions. The whole thing turns 180 degrees to reverse their positions, and the Titan tumbles to his enemy's level with a yell and a thud. Mad Mod hops over him and runs off.
The chase resumes, now against a field partially filled with checkerboard tiling. The upper portion is filled with vertical black and white stripes; the overall effect is of a half-woven basket. Mad Mod and Dick dash along the interface between the two regions, disappearing briefly behind each black stripe.
Suddenly, the redhead doubles back and descends a staircase hidden among the squares, and Dick stays hot on his heels. Now they move into an area consisting of two side-by-side sets of concentric squares. Mad Mod runs into the left set, a tunnel, and does a sharp turn into one of the white bands. When Dick tries to follow, he runs flat into a wall.
Dick asked, "how did he-?"
Mad Mod emerges on the right and runs while blowing a raspberry back at him. Dick gives chase. Dick enters another room. A loud whistle draws his attention; he sees the crazed Englishman at the top of that long staircase seen earlier. They are back in the main atrium.
Mad Mod said, "you may as well chuck in the sponge, laddie! You can't catch the likes of me!"
Determined to prove him wrong, Dick charges toward the stairs and bounds up the banisters. A wave of the cane, and we see him running full tilt, his feet pounding up the steps. We then see that the staircases have become long escalators; he is on the down one and getting nowhere fast. Mad Mod stands at the top, against a black-and-white sunburst, but this soon gives way to the normal wall.
Mad Mod said, "now what did I tell you? Children today won't listen to their betters! Have to learn everything the hard-"
Before he can finish, Dick throws a wingding, whirling it through the air. It ricochets off the railing in front of the Cockney crackpot.
Mad Mod said, "hey, oy! No throwing things while the teacher is talking!"
Dick fires a grappling hook that embeds itself in the wall above the doorway as Mad Mod runs out, then reels himself up to the landing.
Dick bursts through the door and stands up for a look around. One eyebrow jumps in complete surprise. He has come out in an atrium that looks exactly like the one he just left.
Dick asked, "what?! You've gotta be kidding me!"
That's when he hears Starfire yell, "NOOOO!"
He then hears Blackfire yell, "LET! US! GO!"
Dick yelled, "Starfire! Blackfire!"
….
We see a set of very tall library shelves, with a ladder set up to reach the topmost levels of one of them. Dick climbs this, seeing a maze of shelves stretching as far as the eye can see, and a checkerboard ceiling over the lot.
Starfire yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!"
Blackfire yelled, "don't make me burn your ears off!"
Across the library, we see another hypno screen has been set up among the stacks. The display is shaped like a giant book, propped up and open, and rows of desks have been set up before it. Starfire and Blackfire are at the rear center, thrashing from side to side with their eyes tightly shut, but two thin arms reach from the top of both chairs.
Starfire yelled, "I will not read your book of meanness and swirls!"
Blackfire yelled, "I swear, you won't be able to hear for the rest of your life!"
The arms grab their heads and force them to face front.
Mad Mod said, "now, now, loves, it's for your own good."
They begin to succumb.
Mad Mod said, "nothing teaches discipline and respect like a brain-erasing trance."
They close their eyes at the end of this, but the wooden fingers soon pry them back open; they gasp in shock and look upward. Up at the ceiling, a large section of tiling opens to reveal a giant rubber, "OVERDUE", stamp.
Mad Mod said, "besides, if you two won't stop squirming…."
It pistons down and stamps the floor, crushing a few desks to splinters.
Mad Mod laughed, "… I won't stop squashing!"
The stamp moves closer and cycles again. Gasping in sheer terror, Starfire and Blackfire renew their efforts to get out of the chairs, their heads have been released. Now it comes down right in front of them, throwing bits of wood in their faces. As they stare, horrified, the string of huge rubber letters positions itself directly over their heads and hurtles down. They both let out screams of fear!
Dick dives across the floor and plows them out of the way a split second before OVERDUE is stamped into the tiles. The chairs have been knocked onto their backs, and Dick pulls out a tiny welding torch to attack the energy restraints that have been neutralizing their star bolts.
Starfire asked, "are all the schools on your planet this horrible?"
Blackfire said, "because if so, I ain't ever setting foot in one!"
He frees them. But a new problem arises as books come off the shelves and start flapping toward the three Titans like giant bats.
Dick yelled, "come on!"
Starfire is yanked up with a gasp, while Blackfire simply runs after them. A moment later, some of the books hit the chairs and explode, blowing them to bits. They reach a set of shelves and head straight up; Dick climbing, Starfire and Blackfire flying, as more volumes hit and detonate all around them. Dick is jarred loose by the blasts and falls screaming back toward the attacking literature, but Blackfire and Starfire make a last-second grab and haul him up.
They leap along the tops of the shelves, avoiding the oncoming books while the sisters shoot one or two down. We see a closed door: Library, "quiet Please", set in a wall that is tiled with concentric squares. The sisters and Dick burst out, slam it shut, and lean on it with their full weight; a final, hefty explosion from the other side nearly pushes it open again. Smoke drifts out through the cracks as
Dick strides away and they follow.
Starfire said, "Nightwing! I wish to thank you for rescuing us from-"
Dick said, "don't thank me yet. Mad Mod still has us right where he wants us. I know we could take him if we could just get our hands on him. But every time we get out of one trap…."
Busts roll up behind them.
Starfire turns to look behind and gasps upon seeing them. The sunglasses on a sculpture on one slide up the forehead and a missile pops out of the nose; spinning blades emerge from another's ears; a third's jaw opens to reveal a stun gun; the hair of the last rises to show a cannon inside the head.
Dick said, "… There's another one waiting."
Blackfire said, "if we ever find this guy, remind me to kick him!"
Dick gets ready for a little kung fu action, but Starfire and Blackfire think better of it when a cannon shot lands too close for comfort.
They yank him off into one of the square patterns.
Mad Mod laughed, "run, my duckies! Run all you like, but you'll never get out!"
On the end of this the area turns 90 degrees to frame them now moving from bottom to top, then moves ahead to show a spiraling pattern of concentric squares just ahead. They reach it and tumble screaming toward its center; gravity has just hiccuped again!
….
In another room, near ceiling level; the tiles are all white here and marked with the symbols of the periodic table. Some giant models of molecules have been set up as well. As the yells grow louder, the tile marked for Zirconium flips open and the three teens drop out. Dick tumbles along the floor while Starfire and Blackfire bring themselves to a midair stop above him. Giant beakers and test tubes filled with solutions line the walls, along with a microscope and a bunsen burner, we have just reached the chemistry lab. They now head further into the room; as they pass behind each container of chemicals, their image distorts in a different way.
Mad Mod said, "it's no good procrastinating, really, because sooner or later, you'll both end up like him."
Starfire gasps.
Dick said, "Beast Boy!"
We see the end of the lab, where a few desks have been set up. A head can just be seen over the top of a chair that is front and center, positioned for a full view of the overhead projector screen that hangs down from the ceiling at an angle. The hypnotic pattern is playing across it. It is indeed BB, wearing a dunce cap, fully under the screen's spell, drool running down his chin, babbling incoherently.
Dick, Blackfire and Starfire move in for a look.
They then see that Rose is trapped in a large beaker next to him!
Blackfire asked, "Ravager? Why are you in that?"
Rose explained, "since I've only got one eye, the hypnosis wasn't effective on me, so he put me in here to watch Beast Boy succumb to it."
Mad Mod chuckled, "ah, yeah. A model student, that one. Not like the pirate duckie. Lovely. Sits there, quietly, never thinks about misbehaving, matter of fact, he never thinks at all! Hahahaha!"
Starfire said, "Beast Boy! Awaken", she waves in his face and removes the cap; Dick uses his torch, "your friends are here! Beast Boy?"
Blackfire quickly smashes the beaker, freeing Rose.
Starfire snaps her fingers; no good. Now she steps to the screen and warms up a starbolt to knock it out, but Dick stops her before she can fire.
Dick said, "wait! Trust me."
The test tubes blow their stoppers and all the chemicals in the place boil over. Colorful toxic slop spreads across the floor, dissolving desks as it reaches them. Dick frees Beast Boy from the chair and hands him to Starfire.
Dick said, "here's your hall pass. Meet you outside."
Blackfire grabs onto Rose as Starfire holds onto BB.
They fly away, and Dick leapfrogs along the disintegrating desks to traverse the lab. Riding one like a surfboard, he approaches the door, where the others have already made it out, and vaults to one of the molecular models and then over to them. He ducks through the door and slams it shut.
….
A few moments later, we see the others trying to snap BB out of his hypnosis.
They are back in the main atrium.
Starfire asked, "Beast Boy?"
BB sits crumpled on the floor, with Starfire and the others looking down concernedly, and he is now drooling all over his clothes.
Starfire said, "it is I, Starfire, your friend. Please! Speak to me! Beast Boy? Beast Boy?"
She knocks on his head a couple of times, then sucks in a huge breath.
Dick covers his ears as Blackfire covers Rose's.
Starfire yelled, "BEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSTTTTTT BOOOOOOYYYYYY!"
Dick is left a bit stunned when the yell finally dies away, but Beast Boy just drools and babbles some more before keeling over.
Dick said, "ah, Star? I don't think that's working."
Rose said, "captain obvious is here."
Starfire said, "but we must do something or he will remain this way forever."
Beast Boy sits up and wavers a bit, and tumbles against her midsection. A door is heard opening; she pushes him away.
Dick growled, "Mad Mod! Come on!"
He hustles away. Starfire, not quite sure of the proper hygiene protocol to follow here, yanks Beast Boy after him, with the other two close behind. The five end up huddled behind the staircase.
Dick whispered, "we'll hide here and then take him by surprise."
A little bit of random mumbling gets on his nerves very quickly.
Dick whispered, "any way to keep him quiet?"
Starfire claps a hand over the slack mouth and shudders mightily as drool oozes through her fingers.
Rose snickers, but Blackfire covers her mouth as well.
Blackfire said, "stop snickering. And if you lick my hand, you'll be sorry."
Dick peeks out, sees a shadow approaching, then ducks back briefly and leaps out with Starfire and the others right behind him.
Dick's foot extended for a kick, the sisters hands ready to fire starbolts, Vic's sonic cannon, Rose's staff ready to strike, Jack's
hands engulfed in fire and ice, a large black hand projected by Raven.
There is a white flash, which clears to leave the seven Titans ready to unload on each other; Raven has suspended Dick in midair.
Starfire said, "Nightwing! Zivel! Raven! Oh, how glad we are to see you!"
Vic disarms; Dick is set down.
Dick groaned, "this place is making me crazy!"
Vic said, "tell me about it. Mad Mod's wacked-out computer lab nearly crashed my hard drive."
Starfire asked, "where did our captor send you, Raven?"
Raven opens her cloak partially and reveals, instead of her usual black outfit, a white jersey with a large zero on its front.
Her usual blue wristbands have been replaced with white ones, the jersey has Mad Mod's name along with the zero, and she wears shorts, knee pads, and athletic shoes.
Raven flatly said, "gym."
Jack said, "he tried putting me through health class, but my magic kept me from getting brain-washed. It took a lot of effort to get my staff back. I found Raven after that. And I gotta say, I can't wait until that jersey is off of her."
Raven said, "the feeling is mutual."
Vic asked, "anybody seen BB?"
Babbling from the ground makes them all look down towards the floor. He is slithering along like an inchworm, with copious amounts of saliva lubricating the path.
Dick said, "Mad Mod's hypno screens. We can't snap him out of it. We've tried everything."
Vic asked, "did you try this?"
Vic leans down, pulls one ear wide open, and fires a major-league belch directly into it. Beast Boy laughs, shaken out of his trance.
BB laughed, "nice one! Uh…. How did I get here and why am I covered in drool?"
Starfire said, "wonderful! Now we need only to locate an exit."
Vic breaks out his cannon.
Vic said, "or just keep blasting 'til we make one."
Jack fired his hands up, "I like that idea."
Dick said, "easy. Last thing I smashed tried to smash me back. I'm sure this whole place is booby-trapped."
Beast Boy pops up nearby and wipes himself clean.
BB asked, "then how are we supposed to get out?"
Raven said, "we're not. Don't you get it? Mad Mod's just gonna keep messing with us until-"
Dick said, "-we mess with him. That cane of his controls everything in here. We take the cane-"
Vic said, "-we take control-"
BB said, "-and take him down! Oh, I'll find him. That demented doofus is never hypnotizing me again!"
A painting on the wall pops out and swings to face him, showing that hypnotic ring pattern. In no time flat, he is salivating, gurgling, and stumbling to the floor. Starfire catches him.
Blackfire groaned, "kribble nibbits."
Mad Mod chuckled, "come on."
We see in a corner, he rises into view through a trick black tile in the floor.
Mad Mod chuckled, "won't you lot ever learn? You're in my world, my duckies", he presses the ruby on his cane, and the doors behind him open, "you can't win."
He is off in a heartbeat.
Dick exclaimed, "Titans! Go!"
The others run off, leaving Jack and Starfire with BB.
Starfire asked, "but how do I-?"
Vic yelled, "make him laugh!"
They find themselves standing alone, supporting the hypnotized
Titan by his armpits. After a moment, Starfire hoists him up to look him in the eye and smiles broadly.
Starfire said, "how many Okaarans does it take to hoegee a morflark? Finbarr!"
No change in his mumbling and driveling; apparently, the joke loses something if the listener is not conversant in Tamaranean.
Starfire thinks for a second.
Jack said, "try saying something really stupid."
Starfire said, "um…. Boo-gers?"
That does the trick.
BB laughed, "hahahaha! Boogers! Aw, man!"
He is yanked off with a shout to join the chase.
Music starts playing as the chase goes on!
...
A hall lined with various pictures of Mad Mod; the real McCoy, wearing goggles and with a sheepskin coat and helmet over his suit, zooms along on a motor scooter. The Titans go after him, passing a picture of him in his main outfit. A bunch of bananas hides the face, but the painting pulls them away and glares after the team; he has pulled a quick change and given them the slip.
The bananas are thrown after the Titans, who are at the far end, and the lunatic jumps out of the frame and runs off; they charge after him. Now back in his suit and reclining on his scooter's seat, he motors down the hall. The eight heroes do likewise, but a mighty flash from that direction sends them back the way they came. Mad Mod is after them, having ditched the coat in favor of an enormous bazooka which he fires time after time.
….
We see a long, wide room whose white floor and ceiling are marked with a lattice of large holes. Mad Mod rolls in and drops out of sight; the Titans try to follow, but the hole has solidified to block them. As Dick drums his fingers on the floor, the nutcase pops back up two spots over, without his scooter. The team leader runs to grab him, but suddenly drops through the hole between him and Mad Mod, who rises through the ceiling. BB briefly becomes a tiger and jumps after the villain, with Blackfire dashing along with them; the other six start poking their heads in everywhere, and out in all sorts of impossible places. Vic even picks up one hole, holds it sideways, and steps through; it falls flat like a manhole cover, and Starfire jumps on it for a moment and shrugs before plummeting out of sight.
Rose jumps in after her. Raven is left floating by herself in the middle of the place, with Jack standing beside her as the other six heads start popping up all around them like a Whack-a-Mole game gone haywire. They are both scared into a hole when Vic peeks up with his head much larger than normal. A moment later, all eight reappear, with musical instruments and dressed in the sort of garish clothes often used by British bands of the 1960s. Mad Mod drives past, once again leaning back on the seat, and the Titans zip out of their new threads to give chase.
….
A long, winding staircase is where Mad Mod is powering his scooter up the incline, the team race along for all they are worth, and he reaches a door at the top and stops. A press of the cane's ruby turns the stairs into a slide, sending Rose and the boys down; Raven, Blackfire and Starfire, floating above the surface, watch them go. At the bottom, a hatch opens and a short stretch of stairs emerges, turning itself into a set of snapping jaws. Beast Boy screams and becomes an octopus. As he nears the floor, Starfire, Raven and Blackfire make it down; he stops his slide by wrapping two tentacles around the former while the latter grabs the two others. Raven grabs Jack by his arms. Dick thumps into BB, then starts to panic just in time to get four hundred pounds of bionic Titan plowed into his face, but the makeshift safety net holds. Rose plops on top of Vic. Dick sits up, dazed, and the girls haul them and Beast Boy up. Vic gives Dick a shrug and a sheepish grin.
They are carried up.
….
The view changes to show a hall with many doors on either side, seen from one end. A Mad Mod bust stands at the other. He rides in and, as the Titans slide through in a heap, exits through a far door.
Beast Boy reverts to human form and stands there, slightly dazed, while the other four bolt to the other end. He runs across the hall and soon has a green dog nipping at his heels. Now Dick peeks out, catches sight of him, and runs that way while Vic crosses the hall.
Rose dashed out one door, brandishing her staff, looked around, and dashed into another.
Jack ran out one door with Raven, and they both dashed into another.
BB, as a gorilla, shambles through and just misses Mad Mod riding a "penny-farthing" bicycle; Starfire chases him as Raven goes the other way. One door flips up to the ceiling, the opposite one down onto the floor, and Mad Mod drives across in an old-style roadster.
Here comes Vic from a nearby door; he heads back and through a farther one, but his image does not shrink as one might expect due to perspective, and he has to crawl out. Now Dick dashes out close to the back wall and toward a nearby door; the perspective trick is reversed, and he comes up very small and has to jump to it.
However, he gets the hinges instead of the knob and the door swings open the wrong way. Out he goes.
Blackfire finds herself on a pogo stick, going through one door, but tripping and getting flung into another.
Starfire charges across, riding Beast Boy as an ostrich, and Mad Mod, now wearing a racoon skin cap atop his suit, paddles a canoe across the floor. Raven flies out and hangs for just a moment before BB, as a gargantuan gerbil, runs across; her eyes pop in surprise and she follows him out.
Jack and Rose cartwheel through one door together. Now Dick runs into the hall and watches as the other Titans go everywhere; Beast Boy now seems to be switching forms almost at random- a whale, a pygmy elephant, a penguin, a monkey. Doors open and close just as randomly; against their hinges, from lower panels. the Titans dashing through as perspective-tricked miniatures, by swinging towards the ceiling and floors. Finally, all the Titans gather in one place, and Dick points furiously in several directions. They fan out to five different doors, and at a signal from Dick, pull them open all at once. Nothing behind any of them, they tiptoe to the door at the far end, which no one tried. Dick smirks at his comrades and yanks the knob, and all scream as the head of a colossal reptilian creature pokes through and roars at them.
Mad Mod, meanwhile, steps leisurely from a far door and waves to them before walking back out. The bust moves slightly. The Titans run up, and Dick flips the head back to expose a knob. A quick twist, and the music stops all around them.
Jack said, "weird."
They go through the door that has just opened. Their faces go slack with surprise, they see that the entire end wall has opened up to expose a peaceful meadow beyond it.
Raven said, "no way!"
Jack said, "I don't believe it."
BB asked, "is that what I think it is?
Dick said, "one way to find out."
They start walking towards the meadow and pass into it.
Vic said, "looks like the real deal."
Rose said, "if you're wrong, you owe me twenty bucks."
Vic said, "deal."
Dick holds up one hand and waves it around. They push through, but find themselves tearing through a huge sheet of paper, and see that they are back in the atrium where it all began!
Vic groaned, "no!"
Blackfire said, "well, now you owe Rose twenty bucks."
Vic groaned, "aw man."
Dick grunts in disgust.
Dick groaned, "right back where we started!"
A section of the floor flips over, bringing Mad Mod into the room.
Mad Mod chuckled, "of course you are, my duckies."
He taps the tiles with his cane and is promptly carried high into the air.
Mad Mod said, "class is over, and you lot haven't learned a thing. That's a failing grade for each blooming one of you."
A big, red F appears on the underside of the platform.
Mad Mod laughed, "there's only one thing for it", the doors swing shut in front of the torn fabric, "you'll have to repeat the entire lesson!"
The stairs retract up to the first balcony as he says this, after which all the walls fall outward to expose a curving black-and-white sunburst pattern all around. It is broken only by the doors and paintings, which remain exactly where they were. Many more busts move in, sporting a nasty variety of weapons. Mad Mod laughs maniacally as BB gets hypnotized again. Standing in the middle of the others, the newly re-hypnotized Titan starts to babble and drivel as he crumples slowly toward the ground. Raven and Rose catch him. Here come the statues.
Mad Mod laughed, "time for class, my duckies. Everyone back to your seats!"
Dick yelled, "Titans! Get that cane!"
Jack yelled, "you got it!"
Vic, Blackfire, Jack, Starfire, and Dick in turn give a hearty yell and charge. Meanwhile, a visibly disgusted Raven and Rose are still trying to figure out what to do with Beast Boy.
Raven said, "um…."
Rose said, "hello?"
The fronts of several busts open up to reveal small missile launchers that fire off a heavy salvo. Raven creates a shield to protect herself, Rose and their charge. They are lost beneath the glare of the explosions, but Vic runs through them, catches up to Dick, and links his hands. Dick jumps up onto the palms and gets a hefty upward boost; now a bust flies in and Vic wheels to face it. A single punch crushes it to gravel.
Jack starts making fire swirl around him as he shoots shards of ice at the busts, cracking them up.
Dick has begun hopping from one airborne stone head to another, dodging the occasional laser blast along the way, and finally hurls himself through space. A bust flies in and starts to fire, but is blown apart by two starbolts. The shooters fly past the cloud of dust they have just created.
Mad Mod said, "oy, no roughhousing! Do I have to separate you lot?"
He presses the ruby on his cane and causes the floor tiles to rise up as square columns. Starfire is on a collision course with Mad Mod and ready to shoot him full of holes, but a column rises in front of him without warning.
Starfire squeaked, "eek!"
She stops just barely short of the obstacle and tries to swerve around it, only to have that path cut off as well. Now the tile that was under her feet has reached her level and begun to carry her up; she gasps in shock as she rises against her will. Higher and higher she goes, with a forest of columns forming around her.
Blackfire tries to do the same, but is met with several columns that circle her.
Dick has resumed his game of leapfrog on the busts' heads, and they in turn have gone back to using him for target practice. He goes for one huge leap and gets clear of them, but his face soon registers surprise.
He collides head-on with a column. Vic is quickly hemmed in and carried toward the ceiling.
Vic shouted, "yo!"
When the motion stops, we see that a staggered pyramid of steps has formed. Vic and Dick are on different levels of the structure, but Dick has no time to ponder the geometry; laser shots from above force him to start jumping from one level to the next. He works his way up and seizes a passing bust, which carries him yelling toward a floating door. Working up a little momentum, he flips clear just before the sculpture crashes into it and explodes. He throws a wingding at Mad Mod, who leaps straight up to avoid it and passes him in midair.
A bust flies by and strafes, just missing Raven, Rose and BB, then doubles back for another pass as two others join it.
Raven chanted, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"
Three floor tiles, standing vertical, hurtle through the air and hit the attacking stoneworks edge on to slice them in half. The pieces tumble down around Raven, followed by a yelling Vic, who has been blown off his high perch.
Another bust flies close, but is smashed in midair by Rose.
Raven asked, "little help here? I don't do funny."
Rose said, "clearly not."
Vic stands up.
Vic said, "you asked for it."
Her hood is up at this point, but Vic pulls it back before she knows what is going on. Next, he licks his finger, depositing plenty of saliva on the tip, and shoves it into her ear. Her whole face looks as if it will split in half as her hair flies everywhere, but Beast Boy snaps out of his trance and laughs.
BB laughed, "awesome", he realizes Mad Mod got him once more, "aw, not again!"
Rose is holding in her laughter.
With an angry spark flaring on her temple, Raven puts her hood back up. A loud thump is heard from nearby, the four turn toward it; busts with metal spider legs, jumping down from their high levels. Beast Boy turns into a rhinoceros and charges, smashing a couple to bits, while Blackfire and Starfire shoot down a few flying ones.
Jack leaps into view, shooting flames that burned the busts into ash.
Starfire flies onto her back to pull this off, she does not see one moving in with two thin metal arms extended from its shoulders.
These grab her wrists.
Starfire said in confusion, "huh?"
Starfire is hauled up with a scream and put into a half-spreadeagle; now a bust approaches and extends a laser chainsaw from its base.
A swing of her legs knocks it away to slice a long gash through the cloth of the giant hypno screen that forms the wall.
Vic watches this one explode as it falls behind the columns he is standing on, but the moment is short-lived. More busts, these on tall pedestals and tank treads, are coming down the vertical surfaces and up from a trapdoor to form an advancing line. He leaps down, incapacitates one with a kick, and seizes it. With a heave, he sends it flying straight at the oncoming busts and destroys every one of them. Behind him, one more pops out, a stun gun extended from the mouth, and rolls toward his back. He turns around just in time to get a hair-raising jolt, or it would be, if he had any hair, that drops him in his tracks.
Jack is about to shoot more flames at the busts, but one manages to fly in and grab his staff!
Jack said, "after this, I'm putting a strap on that thing, so people can't grab it so easily!"
Jack is helpless to stop two busts from grabbing him with mechanical arms.
The place begins to rearrange itself; doors and paintings change locations, and the row of tiles he is lying on moves like a conveyor belt to carry Vic and Jack away. Raven, who has been seized by a chair, is being dragged in.
Raven yelled, "no!"
Her arms and legs are clamped down, and the white energy band fastens itself around her midsection.
Rose is overwhelmed by several arms that force her into a chair.
We see Vic being hauled in by his own chair and put BB in view, still a rhino. A hypno screen pops up right in front of him; reverting to human form, he turns his head and squeezes his eyes shut as a long metal arm reaches up.
BB said over and over, "don't look at the screen, don't look at the screen, don't look at the screen, don't look at the screen-"
For the fourth time, he surrenders to the mind-numbing effects and starts burbling and drooling.
Back with Dick, making his way quickly up toward Mad Mod's platform. Once he reaches it, he throws a kick that hits a big bunch of nothing as the villain easily sidesteps. Mad Mod plants his cane upright and balances on its end.
Mad Mod said, "oh, give it a rest, snotty. You've already lost!"
Dick looks down, sees BB sitting before his screen and the other Titans secured in chairs, then rushes at Mad Mod and leaps. He reaches out toward the cane, but when the fingers reach the wooden shaft and close, they simply go right through it. He passes through the cane and tumbles to the edge of the platform to look at his hand and figure out what has just happened. Mad Mod hops to his feet and does a little brandishing and twirling; close-up of the stick.
Dick yelled, "the cane isn't real! Which means Mad Mod is just as fake as everything else in here!"
He leaps straight at the Brit's image and runs right through it.
Dick yelled, "time for a reality check!"
He flings himself off the edge with a yell; the holographic Mad Mod swings the cane and sends two busts out after him. One base opens to expose missiles locked on target, then pulled back to frame both missiles and ear lasers ready to go. Dick sails toward the rip made by the laser chainsaw, as the busts fire their salvos.
….
Now we see the room from just inside a small service duct; he tumbles in through the opening, with the ordnance exploding all around him. One mighty blast wipes out the entire area.
….
We see a figure sitting among some machinery. The gray-haired figure that comes into view is very different from the dapper redheaded fellow who has been terrorizing the Titans all the way through. Seen from the back, he appears to be at least twenty years older and has lost all the hair on top. He is sitting in front of a bank of monitors, which show the team from many different angles, and working a complex array of controls. This is the actual Mad Mod, the flesh-and-blood wacko in his real-life command center. One screen, however, displays only static.
Mad Mod said, "yeah, this should teach those saucy little ankle-biters some respect."
He wears the same rectangular sunglasses, but his clothing is the sort you might expect on an old man of retirement age-plain, nondescript shirt and suit.
Mad Mod said, "just a tick. I've lost Nightwing."
He is referring to the static-filled monitor. One by one, the other side screens wink out to leave only the large central one still working. He gasps.
The reason?
Dick crawls around in the duct and rips out every handful of wiring he can find.
….
In the crazed room, the other Titans in chairs struggle against their bonds as BB keeps slobbering all over the floor. The hypnotic pattern starts to waver, and the Mad Mod image steps into view.
Hologram Mad Mod says, "uh…. Minor technical hitch, my duckies. Pay no mind, I'll have it fixed in a-"
Before he can finish the sentence, he de-resolves and disappears.
As the pattern shuts itself off, Vic, Jack, Rose, Blackfire, Raven, and Starfire break out of their chairs; the first with a loud, "boo-yah", but BB just stays on the floor, still mesmerized and salivating to beat the band. One after another, the pictures of Mad Mod fade away in their frames and crash to the floor; the surviving busts are knocked down as well. Now the fabric walls reel up like window shades, exposing the machinery that made all this insanity possible, and a forgotten door swings across on its support rope.
….
Mad Mod yells and stumbles backward as his systems short out in a plume of smoke; pan to follow him.
Mad Mod growled, "my machines! That meddling little snot will pay for-"
A small cry of fear escapes him as he discovers Dick waiting at the back of the room. He is promptly dragged forward by his lapels and cannot find his tongue for a second.
Mad Mod nervously said, " ahem, hello, guv'nor."
Dick growled, "school's out, Mod. And you're looking at about twenty years of detention."
The elderly Englishman recoils a bit at the prospect.
A shaft of light falls across the area and illuminates Vic, who is opening an overhead hatch to see the sky above. He puts his head up above a steel platform.
Vic laughed out, "ha!"
He climbs out, then Raven, Jack, and a properly trussed-up Mad Mod is thrown out after them.
Dick then climbs out with Blackfire and Rose.
Vic said, "oh, yeah, this is definitely the real deal."
Dick said, "school always seems smaller after you graduate, doesn't it?"
Raven said, "just don't expect me to go to any reunions."
Jack said, "Lord knows I didn't when I graduated."
Starfire struggles up, carrying the last member of the team, and sets him down.
Starfire said, "I cannot awaken Beast Boy. I have tried the tickling, all manner of bodily noises, and the word, "underpants." I fear that this time his brain is gone forever."
Raven asked, "Beast Boy had a brain?"
Jack snickers at his girlfriend's words.
After a long moment, BB sits up laughing; her sardonic remark has broken the trance.
BB laughed, "good one!"
Her meaning sinks in, wiping the smile off his face in a hurry.
Everyone else heads away, Vic carries Mad Mod.
BB yellwd, "dude! That's not funny! I totally have a brain! I just don't use it much."
Rose said, "sure."
Jack asked, "what say we get something to eat after we get Mad Mod in jail?"
Vic said, "sounds like a plan."
And with that, The Titans headed off to get Mad Mod to prison….
….
Reviews:
Canadude2029: yeah, I honestly think this episode really showed how similar Dick and Bruce were.
pokemonking0924: agreed, this episode has so many great moments.
SuperSentai199: he was one of my faves as well. And rest assured, I plan to reveal who he is eventually….
….