Chapter 2: The Roommate Proposal

Several years later, Eleanor Black was allowing her mind to wander as she began yet another shift at the Pasadena Cheesecake Factory. She didn't really like the job. The food was just…well let's just say she had some problems with the menu and that was before getting into the whole argument about Cheesecake not actually being the primary dish despite the company's name. Still, she was a very good cook but without actual culinary degrees the fancier restaurants hadn't wanted to employ her. So, she was at the Cheesecake Factory.

She did not like her job. More to the point, she didn't like the people she had to deal with. Especially since the inconsiderate arseholes had scheduled her night shifts during the full moon. Thankfully she wasn't forced to transform like a traditional werewolf but it was still very uncomfortable having to be out in public on the full moon. If she had her way, she would be prowling around her tent and chewing on some beef bones she had acquired just for the full moon. Instead, she was working the kitchen alone despite it normally being a five-person job.

Fortunately (and unfortunately), she was what the Mundanes called 'an efficient worker' so she was scheduled by herself. In truth, she was using a hell of a lot of magic, both temporal and otherwise, to run the kitchen. The non-magical people working for the Cheesecake Factory didn't realize it, in part, because they couldn't see it. The United States had all its magical citizens undergo something called the Secrecy Ritual when they were born or immigrated to the United States. The Secrecy Ritual disguised Magic as whatever made the most sense to the people observing the Magic happening. It worked far better than Britain's Obliviator squads as it not only stopped the issue before it happened, but it also fooled electronics. The fact that most of what Eleanor did was wandless just helped reinforce the ritual.

It had taken her three days to settle affairs in Britain. Thanks to going back in time to slightly before the Potters revealed themselves, she had been able to get to Gringotts and settle affairs there. Using her status as the Potter heir (and the only Potter not legally declared dead or nonexistent in the case of her younger siblings) she had agreed to return all non-coinage Goblin Made artifacts that were found in the Potter vaults. She had also hired Gringotts to provide her with a copy of all books in the Potter Family vault save the grimoire which couldn't be copied. She had done the same for the Black Family vault. Lastly, she called in all loans that both families had made over the years.

After that came the hard work of forging a new identity for herself. Both she and Director Ragnar agreed that the Potters would eventually be convinced by Dumbledore to disown her even if they never realized the truth behind her 'suicide' off the Astronomy Tower. As a result, she didn't bother claiming the Potter heirship ring. It would just fall off her finger when James Potter, the head of the family, disowned her for whatever trumped up reason he decided on. The only good news is that it would take a while for the Potters and Dumbledore to find a disownment ritual that could be used that wouldn't judge the people calling for the disownment as well as the person being disowned.

The Black family was good for a mundane identity but was also potentially compromised. It was possible that the various claimants for the House, the Potters and the Malfoys, would anger the family magics with their bickering. That could cause a backlash against everyone who had Black magic in them. Judgment could go either way as far as Eleanor was concerned. It all depended on how much it thought that she could have prevented the House's deterioration. Ragnar was under the opinion that the judgment would hurt like hell but would find in her favor due to her actions during her 11-day regency to reclaim and secure the House's assets. Eleanor just hoped that the disownment and judgment weren't triggered at the same time. In any case, she held off on claiming any of the Black family rings.

She did, however, put the gold in the Black Family vault to work. She commissioned Gringotts to relocate the Forbidden Forest's Acromantula colony to a properly warded island and establish a proper silk farm. She had 25% of the profits go to Gringotts, 20% to her and 40% reinvested in the business. The last 15% would go into the Black family vaults. She and Ragnar had set it up so the percentages could only be re-negotiated with the blessings of both her and Gringotts.

Then she had the vault purchase a lot of investments, both Muggle and Magical, to drain the amount of gold that was in the vault for leeches like the Ministry or Malfoy to try to seize. The profits from the investments were to go back into the family vault, minus the 25% for Gringotts. If whoever gained forced entry to the Black vaults demanded that the stocks be sold, Gringotts was instructed to buy out the Blacks with the money from her accounts and transfer the stocks over to her (they would keep 25% of the profits if the stocks went to Eleanor). She also arranged for 10% of the stocks purchased to be her fee for directing House Black toward more money.

For the moment, Gringotts was putting all the money and stocks acquired through Black funds into a separate personal vault for her. If she retained the Black title, then she would re-work where the money and stocks were divided up. She would likely transfer the bulk back into the Black vaults while designating a smaller percentage to be paid as a 'fee' for her time to her different titles. According to Ragnar, Magic didn't like one person having multiple titles (even though it preferred that to having the titles vanish from the face of the Earth). As such, Ragnar had advised her to keep the finances separate and make sure that all families were compensated for the time she spent on any other family's business. So once the Black title was decided, she'd have to figure out what to do with the profits from those enterprises.

With Potter and Black handled as much as they could be, that left her with Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Gaunt. She'd been surprised by all four titles. Ragnar informed her that Magic had judged her a worthy successor to both Gryffindor and Hufflepuff and thus chose her over all the other possible claimants. It was why she'd been able to pull out both Gryffindor's sword and Hufflepuff's shield from the Sorting Hat while facing the Basilisk. It was also why she could summon both armaments at will (She handed both over to the Goblins for safekeeping until she summoned them again and used a large part of her trust vault to pay the rental fee for both items). The last two titles were because she had fought and won against Voldemort multiple times. Right of Conquest.

She accepted all four Ladyships and promptly cast Tom Marvolo Riddle out of both the Slytherin and Gaunt lines. She also cast him out of Black, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff just in case stealing her blood had given him even a partial claim. Unfortunately, she didn't have the authority to do so with the Potter line, so Voldemort was now a Potter problem. Since she eventually wanted to separate back out the family lines, she decided to create 4 different identities: Harleen Gryffindor, Hemlock Hufflepuff, Circe Slytherin and Hydra Gaunt. Eleanor was the middle name for all four so that there was a common thread that Eleanor could use to maintain her (admittedly limited) sanity.

Unfortunately, she didn't have a lot of money once everything else had been taken care of. She would eventually get a lot of money for Slytherin's Basilisk once Winky finished harvesting the monster. However, apart from a large sum for the meat (which Gringotts was purchasing for itself), the rest of the money was going to be slow to acquire due to how much care was needed in marketing and selling such a toxic beast. So, she had decided to get a good quality tent, commission a 13-compartment trunk and use the remainder to relocate to the United States, take her NEWTS and get a college degree.

MACUSA had helped with the last two and given her both political asylum and diplomatic immunity. They put her presence in the U.S. as a state secret. She still had thoughts about becoming 'Agent E' for MACUSA's Magical Investigative Bureau (MIB) but supposedly it was the best way to keep her presence a secret and for that secret to be kept. Thankfully, Theseus Scamander was content to let her do her own thing so long as she kept in contact and possibly helped when there was an emergency in the Los Angeles area. So she had wand rights, the American equivalent of her A Level exams passed, NEWTS and an apparition license which also doubled as a driver's license.

Things had gone decently well. She was living out of her wizard's tent as she hadn't been comfortable trying to rent an actual place yet. Funds had also been tight between college (out of state tuition for Berkeley was fucking ridiculous) and food (the wolf made her eat a lot more). So even if she had been interested in renting her own place, she didn't have the money to do it. Now that she had her degree, she might be able to afford to rent now. She'd probably start looking for places in the next few weeks. She was getting tired of the tent (specifically of having to pack it back up each day and find new places to set it up every few weeks).

Despite the Weasley sized food bill, she was glad that the werewolf curse had mutated. If she'd been a normal werewolf she would have been fucked. So many fucking regulations concerning werewolves even in the States. And no, she didn't want to move to wherever Forks was so she could run with the other werewolves. There was being fine with being a werewolf and then there was taking it too far. Greyback was a good example of the too far on the bloodthirsty side. Lupin was another example with his damned never-ending pity party. Then there was the Forks pack with the fact they were running around shirtless in the woods and fighting sparkly vampires. Could they get anymore stereotypical? Also, for fuck's sake vampires aren't supposed to sparkle. Why hadn't the wolves finished off those faux vampires? The whole thing just reeked of incompetency.

Long story short, she was glad to have avoided the worst of the Bombarda blast when that bastard Greyback bit her. She could manage wanting to eat several horses' worth of food, an inclination to gnaw on bones, and increased levels of irritability and horniness. It was just a new monthly problem to replace the one that she should have normally had (after being examined by MIB's healer, she had found out the Basilisk venom had several long-term effects that could have been avoided if she had been treated for it by a competent healer). Currently, she was a bit irritable but otherwise wasn't in danger of transforming. That said, if anyone sent their food back tonight, she'd likely be eating it rather than tossing it out. The wolf's appetite was no joke.

"Oh fuck, they made you work tonight," came the voice of one of the waitresses…Penny if she remembered correctly, "Sorry Eleanor."

Eleanor turned toward the woman and saw that she genuinely looked sorry about it. She wasn't sure why it mattered to Penny; she wasn't the one who set the schedule.

"I…er asked if you could come in since it's a Tuesday and well…you're the best cook here and the only one who actually makes the food to Sheldon's specifications. The others fuck it up and then I never hear the end of it for the entire week since the only reason he and the guys come here at all is to help me out. If I had realized it was that time of the lunar month, I'd have just told the guys to go to their alternate Tuesday restaurant for this week."

"Other than the tip, why do you care about him and his opinion," asked Eleanor who was a bit more annoyed now.

"Sheldon's the neighbor who lives right across the hall from me…I…er…actually get a lot of help from him and the guys…not sex," she said quickly, "I'm not sure they actually know how to do that but with things like Internet and quarters for laundry and food which really helps me out because the wages here suck and I haven't gotten any good acting gigs."

Eleanor sighed, getting her temper back under control. She couldn't fault Penny for trying to take advantage of the system to ensure a favorable outcome if this Sheldon guy did so much to help her out. Gods know that they weren't being paid a whole lot.

"His usual," she asked once she had calmed down.

"Yeah. No mustard, no mayonnaise, an equal layer of onions so they cover the burger patty, the patty needs to be well done but not burnt, the barbeque sauce needs to be spread over the bun evenly, the pickles have to be an actual layer not just 4 slices, and the cheese needs to be melty so it traps the vegetables and prevents them from falling off the burger."

Eleanor looked at her for a minute, "I thought his usual was well done but not burnt, barbeque, bacon and cheese on the side?

"He decided that since you got it right the first time, he'd try a more advanced order."

"Okay. I'll get on that. Everyone else?"

"A Chicken Parmesan 'Pizza Style,' a Green Chile Chicken Enchiladas order, and the Louisiana Chicken Pasta."

"Alright. Though one of those shouldn't exist, one shouldn't be offered at this restaurant and the last shouldn't be available outside of Louisiana. I do not want to hear complaining from the idiot that ordered it that it's too spicy. Louisiana does spicy."

"Yeah, but that's Howard trying to prove that he's 'manly' in yet another attempt to get his grubby hands in my pants. I've got him down for his usual Four Cheese Pasta when he predictably decides that the Louisiana Chicken Pasta's too spicy for him."

"Can't stand people who waste food," Eleanor muttered as she began gathering the ingredients, "I'm going to make him a small bowl of the Louisiana pasta. If he eats that without complaint, I'll send out the full dish."

"And when he doesn't like it," asked Penny.

"Guess he'll have bought me dinner then," she replied with a shrug, "It'd go straight into the trash otherwise and that's just…"

She shook her head. She had starved enough at the Dursleys that she couldn't stand people who wasted food.

"Make sure he's charged for both pastas. I'll be damned if I let the managers think I'm running a soup kitchen."

[Scene Transition]

Penny had a smirk on her face as she brought out the guys' food. She set Sheldon's down first so he could inspect it. Then Raj's and Leonard's. Why Leonard got something with cheese in it despite being lactose intolerant was beyond her. Wait a minute, Eleanor had left out the cheese. Damn that girl had a good memory. Shame it was wasted here. Then she placed down the small bowl of Louisiana pasta and the Four Cheese Pasta.

"Babe, I didn't order this," protested Howard.

"Yes, you did," replied Penny ignoring his attempted familiarity, "You just haven't realized it yet. Now go ahead and eat the Louisiana pasta so I can remove the dish when it's too spicy and then you can move on to your real meal."

She saw Sheldon's lips twitch into a slight smile at the exchange.

"I assure you, beautiful, that the Louisiana pasta won't be too spicy."

"You willing to put your money where your mouth is," asked Penny, "You eat that sample size without complaining or tearing up and the chef will send out the larger portion with her compliments. Oh and the Four Cheese pasta will be comped. When you fail, you'll pay for both and double the tip you're going to leave."

"Dear, if you and our obviously beautiful cook want my tip all you have to do is say so," replied Howard, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Not if you were the last man on Earth," replied Penny without missing a beat, "And I'm pretty sure that's our chef's reply too."

"Why are you calling her a chef," asked Leonard, "this is the sort of restaurant that employs cooks, not chefs."

"I disagree," interrupted Sheldon, "A cook does the bare minimum, a chef however exceeds expectations. A chef is the one who'd be able to anticipate Howard's upcoming complaints, adjust your order so it doesn't have cheese and cook the perfect burger. Whomever is working the kitchen is a chef."

"Regardless, the premise is flawed," argued Howard, "as I won't be complaining about the pasta."

"Batter up then," replied Penny gesturing for him to go ahead.

Howard took a bite of the pasta and quickly reached for his drink.

"Are you sure she didn't add more spice to this," he asked.

"She made it as it's normally made," replied Penny.

"Sure," he replied sarcastically, "I dare anyone to be able to eat this."

"What are the stakes," asked Penny.

"I'll pay your rent next month. If you can do it without crying or going for water."

"Hold up Howard," interjected Leonard, "Penny can eat almost anything. This isn't a good test."

Penny glared at Leonard. Having someone else pay her rent for a month would have helped a lot and the idiot had ruined her chance at that.

"Well, you aren't a good test of it either," she replied, "Your constitution is worse than Howard's."

The group looked surprised that she knew and correctly used the word 'constitution.'

"Fine. Then Sheldon will judge it," he replied.

"Does the offer of paying rent still stand," asked Sheldon who was annoyed at having to put down his burger.

"No."

"Pity. You still lose the original bet with Penny and the chef though. You complained."

"It wasn't a fair bet as it was intentionally overly spicy."

"Hand it here," commanded Sheldon.

Howard passed the bowl over. Sheldon picked up his fork and took a bite.

"Perfectly acceptable spice level," he judged, wiping his mouth with a napkin, "I may have to get this next time. My compliments to the chef."

"I'll pass them along, Sheldon," replied Penny with a smile, "Now Howard, are we going to have a problem?"

"Noooo," he replied, "New fork please."

Having expected this, Penny handed him a new set of cutlery and took the old set. Then she headed back to the kitchen where Eleanor was plating another set of orders.

"We were right about Howard's reaction," she announced, "Bastard tried to welch on it by claiming it was too spicy. Sheldon shut him up about it though. He wants to give you his compliments and says he might get it next time."

Eleanor raised an eyebrow at her when she heard the word 'bastard.'

"He offered to pay my rent if I could eat it without complaining but one of the other guys shut down that idea. Fuck. I could have really used the extra cash."

"Tell me about it. I'm so glad that I wrapped up college last week. That was an expense I didn't need even if I did get a business degree out of it."

"Why business?"

"Thought about opening my own restaurant or repair shop. I'm a good hand at both. Problem is the start-up capital needed is expensive and most of my funds went to the damned degree and getting the hell out of Britain."

At Penny's look she explained, "My parents were part of an old secret society of aristocratic families. There was a fight, and they went to ground after someone from a rival faction attempted to murder them. Problem was they left me behind. I found out that the bastards were alive just after losing my godfather and surviving another assassination attempt. I also found out they abandoned me so that I would die in the original assassination attempt. To top it off, I learned that they tried to set up a marriage between me and an abusive pig. However, they discarded that when their mentor, my school's headmaster, pointed out that unless I died the enemy faction would continue to haunt their footsteps. For context, the enemy leader was obsessed with killing me at this point due to how often he fucked it up. So, I got out of there. I had enough money to fake my death, set up a new identity, move out here, get a tent and sign up for classes but beyond that…"

"This secret society wouldn't happen to be Magic would it," asked Penny.

Eleanor gave her a look.

"No way you can do all this without it," she said gesturing around the kitchen, "Besides my cousin Buffy's in the know and she told the family especially me when I moved out here. Didn't want me to get ideas about going up to Sunnyvale to surprise her. Apparently, that town is crawling with demons, vampires and werewolves which is why I know tonight's a full moon. Um…why aren't you hairy right now?"

"Mutated version of the curse. Have a few things in my blood that transformed it. I get irritable and horny. I also want to just curl up and gnaw on a bone or have a few rare steaks. Ice cream also works when I can't get steak, but I usually go through five pints of the stuff when it's one of those nights. It's annoying but I can deal with it. I'd rather not talk any more about it even if no one can hear us. Makes it hard to ignore it if I'm thinking about it."

"Would you be interested in being my roommate," asked Penny, "I got a spare bedroom I'm not using, and we both need to save money. Plus, I already know about all the issues, so you don't have to worry about not using your talents."

"You do know that I currently don't pay rent right," asked Eleanor.

"Yeah, but you're also living out of a tent. That can't be that good, especially since your earring is a tent."

"How much are we talking about," asked Eleanor with a sigh.

"750 a month including utilities would be your share."

"That's…. manageable. Is there anything I need to worry about?"

"Well, the elevator is broken, and the neighbors are nosey but that's about it."

"Okay. Let's get through this shift then we'll see about the new flat."