Harry couldn't believe his rotten luck. He had finally cleared up that puzzle that had been bothering him for so long and now a brand new mystery had landing perplexingly in his unwilling lap. Hermione trembled at his side, utterly confused, while before him the implacable robot stood, it's spiralling portal beckoning to him earnestly.
He had to get Hermione away, so he and the metal beast could talk one on one, he didn't want her around for that. "Let's play hide and go seek! I'll count to 12 while you go hide!" He blurted out to Hermione in a desperate gambit to extricate her from the situation.
"You know I love hide and go seek but really, Harry, now's certainly not the time!" His half baked plan was shot down.
He thought he caught a vauge flexing of metal alloys that translated into a robotic smirk of self satisfaction. He tried again, "Hermione! I've poisoned your parents, you had better get to them and give them the anecdote right away!"
"How could you! I loved you!" Hermione wailed, and dashed from the room, already booking a flight to her South London suburb on her smartphone.
Once she had thoroughly gone Harry cracked his knuckles, cleared his throat. "Now, let's you and I get down to brass tacks, eh?"
"Error: Does not compute. Must ensure safety of Hermione Prime." The "robot" responded and made to leave the room and follow the bewildered brown haired mudblood.
"Shut your robotic lie hole, Strand, the gig is up, see?"
"Well well well, Shanks O'Malley, you sure are a sharp one aren't you?" The "robot" intoned, in a far more human register. It chuckled to itself grimly.
"They don't call me the Katana Kid for nothing," "Harry" responded.
Just then the robot disaperaed and standing in it's place was Shanks O'Malley's long time nemesis Dr. Moriarti Strand. "I almost had you that time Shanks! You'll never defeat the demon league though!" He disapeared in a cloud of smoke.
"Drat!" Snanks hissed under his breath and dashed about looking for some erstwhile clue as to where his foe had disapeared to. But unbeknownst to him Hermione had tripped and fallen flat on her face right outside the room. While she had struggled to regain her footing in vain she had been tantalized by the secrets that were whizzing about the room at lightning speed in her absence.
She had heard everything!
"Harry? What is this!? Why did that man pretending to be a robotic version of me from the future call you Shanks?" Tears of confusion streamed down her sooty face.
Shanks sighed, "listen here kid, you've just stepped into a whole world of hurt with first class tickets to the pain train. I tried to keep you out of it, but now that you've gotten this far it'd just be safer to keep going." He tut-tutted to himself forlornly, "you're in too deep now..."
Hermione rushed up to Shanks and hugged him fiercely. She couldn't believe that everything they had shared together had been a lie. "Just..." she hiccuped with sobs, "just tell me. I'm a big girl, I can handle the truth." Luna Lovegood was there too.
Shanks had no idea where to start, he faltered and grasped until finally his convoluted tale began to unfold with fits and starts. He had heard wind of a major operation going down at Hogwarts and needed to get there right away. His old foe Moriarti Strand was rumored to be involved, there was no way he could turn this job away.
But there was one catch. The inside job at Hogwarts was happening in an alternate timeline, one where Kraug had been left in the distant past to reshape the future with her Squirtle patronus. Shanks had snuck into Hogwarts disguised as Neville Longbottom and bided his time placidly.
Finally, one afternoon, he had seen his window of opportunity open just a crack. He had watched as Kraug accidentally activated Harry's time turner. With lightening speed Shanks had knocked the boy unconcious, doned his clothes and taken his place on the whiplash ride through time.
"But that means..." Hermione concluded.
"That's right," Luna said with a smirk. "I'm the real Mecha Granger 20-30!"
With that settled Hermione and Mecha Granger 20-30 leapt into the portal and whizzed through the timesphere all the way back to the unconcious Harry Potter on the school lawn.
He was rubbing his head which ached sorely from the blow that Shanks O'Malley had delivered. It felt like he'd been shot.
"Quick! There's no time to explain!" Hermione cried, grabbing Harry's arm and pulling him further back into time with her, "we have to get Kraug! She's the only one that can save us from the Demon Legion!"
It was a desperate ploy, but Hermione had lost too many friends to this. She couldn't just back out now. No matter where or when it took her, she vowed she would solve this case, even if the world had to end for her to do it, she would, she would.