Hermione couldn't believe her eyes and ears. It was like her eyes and ears had been in cohoots with each other to play her for the fool. For surely...surely, this thing, this insanity which she allegedaly witnessed could exist in no sane realm of men. "Big Dick" Lupins luscious juicy balls had fallen plum off due to his frustrated passions.
"The world sure is a crazy place," she said outloud to herself, but Sirius "Big Dick" Lupin couldn't help but intrude upon her with his full hearted and ballless agreement.
How can i Please a woman with no love orbs to stimulate her sex?" He wailed and fellto his knees. Hermione tried her best to console him but he slapped her straight in the face and ran away, wailing, lost in his woe. Eventually he stumbled into a strange new world filled... with Magic! There was Neville Longbottom, getting the shit kicked out of him by Goyle and Snape, they threw him in a ditch.
"That's where snitches go," Snape spat "in ditches."
Sirius chuckled to himself, Severus Snape sure seemed a lot like his old pal, the hermity old man, Severus Dumbledore, who he'd last seen ranting about velocisomething or orthers. Sirius chuckled, good old Albus, wherever I go he's always the same. It almost took his mind of his heartbreak and deformity of the sex. How can one go one with a broken heart and no balls? He couldn't even fuck the pain away unless he moved to some strange country where women liked men balless and lithe. Maybe.. just maybe this really was the place for him, all along.
He smiled at everyone he passed, all about their usual routines, Hagrid grovelling at some short darkhaired girl, the darkbride of that rascally Malfoy fellow "Big Dick" though. More like "Ball Less" he soured to himself briefly until the scampering gate of the school drawves dsitracted his joy out the sorrow encrusted forgetfulnessof his heart. He suddenly felt bouyant and capable, maybe as a balless man he could pass himself off as a teen-ager.
It was just crazy enough to work.
MEANWHILE In THE ROOM OF REQUIRMENTS
Dumbledores Army had reformed, for a new cause. Harry nodded to everyoen present as he sauntered in. They all stared, obeiscient and cattle like, backing away in unselfconcious awe, and Harry suspected, not a little perversely enjoyed self abasement. It was the good old stuff. He'd honestly missed the thrill of power incured by his status, and he aimed to regain in and then me tell you what.
"We're all here to protect ourselves," he vocalized, everyone shouted or at least nodded or clapped their agreement and enthusiasm. There was a sudden hush ".. from ... Sneak Dissers!"
Everyone booed fierceley, Snape, tears in his eyes, came up to testify. "I never masturbate, becuase, actually, no, I can't, I can't tell you," he began to weep fiercer even than he had been all day. Madam Humphrfy had insisted on attaching a fluid drip to the unceasingly spewing man and it shook and clattered over in the throes of his passions. Everyone watched wit hteh upmost respect. "Anyway," he said, about 4 minutes later when he had himself under control, "it's a really long and crazy story, but it begins with a town filled with people who all have green hair... all but one."
THE TIME ::: 4-19 P.M. THE PLACE ::: VELOCIRAPTOR COVE
Under the howling gale of ocean spray and wind the five remaining magisaurs cuddled pittifully around themselves in a vain attempt to keep warm. Their leader, Red Claw, had proclaimed this rocky stretch of coast Velociraptor Cove, their promised unto God land they would nourish upon and thrive there, at least.. that's what he said.
In reality living on the barren rock and saltsea-scape was quite tedious, to the point of bleakness,at least, that's how Tonya often put it, but she had a negative sense of humor as more of a defense against true negativitity was in all honesty quite the sweet and optimistic, if at times a little naive, young woman. Her scaley green breasts had been budding this summer, and Brent was finally starting to notice her the was he noticed Ashleigh. Asheleigh pretenedd not to notice and threw herself on Red Claw and Arthur with a newly kindled fervor, sucking them off at the drop of a hat at a reckless whiplash pace that often left all involved and even nearby with at least a few horrificly placed bruises.
Whiled the others where distracted Tonya called Brent over the jagged rock she had been crouching on all day. He crouched beside her for a while.
"Life sure is crazy," he said, flickering his tounge into her lower eyelid while he toe'd her steamy hot slit with his crusty protuberance of a toe claw. She became sodden wet, insdie and out, as the salt spray fro mthe ocean exploded from the ocean on top of her and the salt spray of passion that they produced happened then as well. They fell to the ground, completely exhausted yet at peace.
That's when Saturnalia fell upon them. But not with an attack. Not yet anyway... no ... she thought.
oh no no no
not yet...
it was delicious, the horrible thing she was plotting, but she would get to relish it again soon enough ,as ashe explained her vile plot to the velociraptors they circled her first in wary defence then in hypnotization. They were completely mesmerised by the fiercity she exuded in the schemes that tendriled from her like abutments and pipes out of a steampunks fleshlight. You see, all day Saturnalia had been plotting,
plotting...
revenge.