Dumblerd
ore awoke with a resounding crash! He was very nearly late for the last day of the school semester and he figured he should go ahead and hurry it along and get going. And that is just what he did. He dashed from his bed to his bureau and picked out his outfit for the day, he didn't even stop to peruse his visual output by the mirror because he was in a hurry because he woke up late. Then he ran into the kitchens.
The cooks were nowhere to be seen! He nearly fell over several times in his madcap perplexity. Over and over again he scolded himself for being a flippant and lazy old man while he hastened to prepare the day for the students. He yelled, "be sure to fire up a large and hearty breakfast!," hoping that the hidden cooks could hear him and would follow his advice. "Also get started right away!" He added, checking his watch and in dismay realizing that it was very nearly noon. 'good thing all these students are such heavy sleepers,' he decided to himself and then he put a little extra zip in his step.
Before he left the kitchens though he helped himself to not a few handfulls of fresh chocolate pudding. He swallowed so much he thought he would soon be drunk on it and his fingers and whiskers were beyond sticky with the residual proof his enthused sloppiness.
The pudding was suppoused to be saved for the end of the year dance immediately following the field trip. At this very special magical prom night the king and queen of Hogwarts academy for magic would be crowned and also the final scores of the yearly House Cup Competetition would be tallied permanantly, but everyone already knew that the Slytherin's had clearly won the cup because they clearly had the most points. All thanks to Harry Potter and his boyish insistance.
Harry was Probobly albus's best school friend but at times the sap haired fellow sure could get underneath one's skin…. couldn't he.
Queitly as he dared to he rushed to the teachers quarters and began banging on all the doors, running down the rose petal strewn hallways of the professors sleeping tower, shouting and hollering in all manner of ways.
Even though he was in a hurry he couldn't resist stopping outside the occlumency tower and letting rip a whole cascade of brutal punishing farts that far from dissapating by the time the hapless forseer returned from her ill fated trip they would have instead entranched themselves within the very wood of the walls and floors of the towers, permeating the once luxurious place with the stench of his wilted puckered asshole.
Of course Dumbledore failed to arouse anyone beccause today was the day that the school field trip was happening and he was all alone inside of Hogwarts. Doubtless you at home with your comfy jackets and air controlled space, sitting on your lofty cushoined couches, doubtless you have already arrived at the conclusion, but for Dumbledore, right down there in the thick of it, well, it took him a little longer.
Finally, Dumbledore skidded to a halt outside of the Gryfindor common room. His best pal Harry Potter sure could help him, he thought, and he made as if to creep through the commons and sidle up to Harry's bed so that maybe the boy detective could puzzle out just how Dumbledore was going to manage running the school that day when he had already got a bad start of it. "Classes start at 8!" He could imagine Harry admonishing good naturedly, "not Noon! You silly old coot, but of course I'll help you out and lucky for you I know just the right way, all you have to -" But then the imaginary talking all dried up insdie of Albus's grey old head, he couldn't think of Harry's solution yet because Harry wasn't even in his bed!
When Dumbledore realized he had been crouched next to and whispering at an empty bed for the past 5 minutes he leapt to his feet cursing beat to scare the devil.
He positibely screamed his fury out at the empty beds and began kicking piles of laundry and book bags aside this way and that. Each snapping pencil and torn book assuaged his anger a little and by vthe time he had thoroughly trashed the room he had calmed down enough to puzzle out just what was going on. But, just then! He noticed he wasn't really alone in Hogwarts at all, just over the corner of his shoulder he could make out two men wearing black and white striped shirts with little black eye masks holding big black trashbags and sneaking up the school lawn!
Of course he noticed the Wachoski twins and their theiving ways right off the bat, having expelled the ratched duo little on two years ago today!
"Aha!" He shouted out, startling a passing 3rd year girl who hurried out of the strange old man's way, "so they think they can burgal my school while no one is in it do they! Well they have just one surprise, I'm here!"
He sure was.
Dumbledore immediately ran to his private chambers once more. Here he had a large chest positively filled to the brim with marbles and toys. Snape had often criticized Albus's marble collection nad had even once vowed to ensure the destruction of every device of amusement that he could find when he became Hogwarts Headmaster. Albus had always laughed at that prospect, but now that Snape really was about toe become the princiap it was a goot thing Abus ahd hidden his toys. He threw back the fake pile of laundry that was actually an enchanted sheet made to resemble a bunch of dirty boxers and sweat stained undershirts. No one would want to touch all of that. Certainly...
Underneath his magical sheet was the toy chest we've been discussing. Inside of the chest Albus spied very many marbles and be began to pick them up by the handful and carry them with him to the front of the school.
At the very front of the school was the front door and right in front of that Albus splayed all of those Marbles that he had grabbed. Just then the two robbers apparated inside the school and immediately fell to the ground, paralyzing themselves permanantly upon the hard stone ground. Albus fell to his knees, his long bony fingers clutching his wrinkly bald head in consternation.
"What have I DONE!" He cried out, but there was no one there to hear him, not when he needed it most. All the other students and teacehrs were in America on vacation and Kraug was still paralyzed, it was all up to him, now.