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AUTHORS SECTION
Hi everyone! It's me, E.B. Woodhouse here, I want to take a little space here to go ahead and congratulate and give a lot of thanks for sticking around for 30 amazing chapters. I couldn't have gotten so far without all this wonderful fan support. You guys are seriuosly the best and have all done so much to help me craft this very special tale that the credit really shouldn't all be going to me (though i do love it! sorry couldnt help myself! xD) you all helped make this happen. But any ways...
Especial thanks are due to The Warty Hogg, thanks man! The Warty Hogg, if you didn't know, has his own Harry Potter Fanfic in progress as well, Weasleys Wedding Weazes, which is amazing!and should be read by everyone, like, on a required reading in shcools level its so good. He's also basically my editor and has really helped me to hone my skills recently, time and time again i can really on WH for insightful input and ...for praise and gentle admonitions., because as you know we're about to get ready for a brand new Semester at Hogwarts... and this year the Slytherins are the Head House! Also a couple more surprises in store, but anyway, let's get right down to brass tacks! This what follows is the first part of my brand new New Kind Of Granger sub-series (which returns all the witches and wizards you love, as well as not a few new faces, to their rightful place, Hogwarts School for Witch Craft and Wizardry... The Return To Hogwarts!
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Back To Hogwarts : Part 1
The desert stretched out long and low amongst the hills. The ground was a uniform tan and the sky a mirrored blue, Hermione the Time Child ran, she ran so far that soon she forgot what she was running toward, or from?, and soon ran for the sheer thrill of it. Her heart soared among the sandy dunes and peaks, flying aside the migratory seagulls and desertbirds in the air above. Mecha Granger 20-30, her droid companion, became lonely, but trudged on, and found a well of strength within her iron heart that she had henceforward unsuspected. Ever since that malicious rake, Harry Potter, had blown out her heart circuits she had been very down on her poor mechanical self, but all that was changing on her journey.
Secretly, though she loved Hogwarts, she wished the field trip would never end. Her and her bizare pall from that crazy alternate world she had been from the future of, Hermione Lion Hearted were late for the plane, and by now the train as well, she mused, so maybe the field trip really would never end. Although after a few days the faculty was liable to send Snape out to retrieve them and they'd find themselves back in school soon enough, that strange school of this alternate dimension they currently resided in, with its paralysis and "stair cases" in the place of their beloved diagonal hallways. Mecha Granger hadn't glided up a decent diagonal hallway in ages and she sorely missed them, but she didn't let that distract her from the task at hand, which was running. And run she did. She sped across the desert as though the day were about to end and tommorow would never come, and still she ran on.
After an indeterminate amount of time had passed the two blonde besties had finally caught up to their quary. The gigantic apparation, towering high in the sky with Hermione upon Hermione had finally run out of wind, the Hermione's compromising the lungs having worn themselves out, all several dozen of them were in states of critical exhaustion, the internal Hermione diagnostic and recovery team, the White Blood Cell Hermiones were on the scene, shoring up Lung Hermione 1 through 58 as best they could. Lung Hermione 34 had a badly sprained ankle and White Blood Cell Team Hermiones 5 and 29 crouched over her, consoling the poor bewildered girl and patching her up expertly. Just then the Red Blood Squad showed up, Hermione White 11 cracked her knuckles but was held back at the last second by Hermione White 10 and 12, they couldn't spare another brawl, not here, not while the Lung Hermione's were in such a desperate state.
"Honestly now 11, what ARE you thinking!" 10 scolded, her hands upon her hips. "We certainly don't have time for any of THAT nonesense... really!"
11 flushed a scarlet shade of humilitation. She had always been such a reckless and high emotioned sort of Hermione, even before she had joined Giga Hermione and really gotten her life back on track. And now here she was backsliding into the mistakes and maladaptive behaviors of the past. "You... you-," she couldn't almost control her fervent passions, but under the impatient yet kindly glaces of the other White Blood Cell Hermiones she forced herself to control her quelling passions. "You are absoluetely right, I don't know WHAT ever I was thinking and should really give myself a good dressing down.. but not right now! We had best get to getting the Lung Hermiones back in tip top shape so we can continue to run away in embarassment."
The heads of Hermione White and Red Blood Cell Squads nodded their agreement and acceptance of this temporary pact and the two teams merged together, twice as effective, healing the Lung Hermiones twice as quickly and thoroughly. At the mention of Giga Hermiones overall current state of emotion though quite a few of the assembled Hermiones, even the semi concious and concussed Lung Hermiones began muttering amongst themselves at the nerve, the AUDACITY, of these new upstart alternate dimension Hermiones, not even in a guild or composite being yet, sneaking up and snooping upon Hermiones as thought they were the only two Hermiones that even mattered, the Hermione Primes of long legend and tall tale. And not to mention not a few not so undangerous cults and extremist sects, but that's a story for another day.
As these internal squabbles and dramas momentarily had disabled Giga Granger, almost like Kraug, laying paralyzed in her lonely bed, and yet temporary. And while Giga Granger was for the nonce unable to proceed further phsyically in her metaphysical sense, as her internal Hermiones were still perfectly mobile at the time, Mecha Granger snuck up on her again. The high tech battle droid was run by an exponentially advanced internal computer that could soulve 10 to the 999th power complex mathmatical equations and calculate a trajectory thorugh the very solar system itself she had little real time knowledge about human interaction and emotions. The Time Child was too distracted up there and Mecha Granger had no guidance because of this, so that's why she snuck up on Giga Hermione again.
Mecha Granger 20-30 was so amazed by the architectural genius of all of her alternate selves and she just sat there and stared in awe. But then... Giga Granger came fully back to her senses, the Blood Cell Squads having finally stopped their constant bickering and skirmishes long enough to heal all of the injured Lung and Ankle Hermiones. Giga Granger could not believe her eyes! All of the Hermiones that made up both left and right eyes shouted out in disgust! Here they were, taking their down time to talk about how maybe these two new Hermiones knew something about the Hermione Primes they had so longed yearned to learn more about, and they also were talking about that they should forgive them, but here they had snuck back up on them again! And they were staring at her again too!
The combined shouts of all the Eye Hermiones was loud enough to finally bring Hermione Lion Hearted back into the her senses and she quickly realized what horrible mistake had just taken place. "Oh daer!" She shouted out, clasping her hands to her cheeks in sorrow.
MG23 raised a quizical eyebrow and Hermione elaborated for her while also explaining the situation to Giga Granger, hoping to explain something to two birds with one stone. "You see, Mecha Granger 20-30, when the two of us happened upon Giga Granger here we did so by mistake and chance, each time, and yet Giga Granger thinks that we are stalking her!" She was finally able to work it out for herself as the words left her mouth. Maybe it was her lion heart that made her that way, either how it came to her she didnt even care because right now it sure had helped her to understand this complex situation a little better. She had a feeling she knew how diplomats felt, always so confused and thirsty from running through deserts or fields out there in the wide, crazy world.
"I don't just think you've been stalking me!" The Voice Hermione called out, all the others had fallen completely silent, as custom when the Voice wants to make herself heard. It was an intimidating and thunderous voice, echoing off the many dozen Hermiones lining her echoing chamber in the throat.
"Well that is a relief," said Mecha Granger 20-30, prematurely.
"I don't think it because I KNOW it!" The Voice boomed out, cutting off her early celebrations. "It is completely obvious that the two of you are trouble starters, carriers of mischance and misfortune; I name thee!"
Hermione Lion Heart fell to her knees and couldn't even believe what she was hearing.
"You two have followed all the way here, to the last place among places, the Grand Canyon, in your perverse agenda to look upon my imodesty right at the two moments when my gaurd is lowered the most! How can you explain such unlawful and troublesome behaviours if be you not the aforementioned appelations?"
The time child desperately wished she had some rebutal to this, some way to rebuke the heinous accusation thrust upon her and her one of two besties, two thrids the Golden Trio, fallen so far from glory as to be called such things, the other Golden Trioeete paralyzed, accused as well, of being something far worse... A sneak disser. And now this.