As they continued their arduos journey back to Hogwarts the HermSquad3 (consisting of Hermione the girl with the lion's heart, Mecha Granger 20-30, and Giga Granger) whilled away the time by having a conversatoin. It was going well until...
"i dont need to hear about your stupid day," Hermione, the girl with the lion's heart exclaimed.
"well that was just rude of you," Mecha Granger responded, "you asked."
Hermione Lion Heart took a good long look at her life and the things she was doing to it with drugs and alcohol, she decided 'today is the day, i'm finally going to go to an NA meeting and get my life straightened out, but not my hair, my hair at least i like it when it is curly' but she did not say that out loud, that was just for her and her brain to think about between the two of them, what she said out lout was "i'm sorry, i am in a bad mood because last night i was out in the rain for a long time and didn't towell off properly when i came back inside and so i got my period"
Mecha Granger found such biological functions unnecesary and disgusting, "I know, you've been talking about your period all god damn day, but don't worry about it, your bloody ass hole is a constant source of awe and inspiration to me and i just can't wait until we get back to Hogwarts so i can find my pens and paper and go and write down all the wonderful things you have told me about your bloodcrusted nethers while we walk through this stupid ocean because someone was too cheap to buy plane tickets and someone else is too gigantic to even fit on a plane anyway so here we are"
Giga Granger, being a walooping eighty feet high was all but certain that that last section of the insult was in reference to her, and the fact that she couldn't fit onto a plane because she is too gigantic. The world sure is a crazy place. 'If only i wasn't a combination of literally thousands of Hermione's from all over the existo-sphere and was instead just one simple little girl like my friends then i could have fit onto the plane and my two best friends would not be so cross because they would be well rested on top of a plane instead of having to swim all the way across the atlantic ocean so they can get home.' That's when she had a crazy idea.
"Hey guys," Giga Granger said, "how about since I am so tall and just able to walk through the ocean you guys could ride in my hand or on top of my head or shoulders and you wouldn't have to swim for literally thousands of miles all the way home."
MEANWHILE WHEN YOU LEFT I LOST A PART OF MY IS THAT SO HARD TO BELIEVE? COME BACK BABY BECAUSE WE BELONG TOGETHER
Harry just did not know what to do. Basically he forgot what he had been doing in the last chapter so now he is sitting next to Ron and Padma and introducing them to his new girlfriend, Spiders. "Hey Ron and Padma, this is my new girlfriend, Spiders," Harry said.
Padma narrowed her eyes with suspicion, "we've met-I don't want to talk about it!" She got up from her seat and ran away. Ron had no idea what was going on.
"What do you lot figure that was all about?" He inquired. Harry and Spiders shrugged helplessly. "I don't know fam," Harry replied, "but you had better go and get her so she doesn't get lost on this gigantic plane." Harry had just recently discovered how large the plane really was, because he had been walking all around it all that weekend, but he is back where he belonged now. He spent about all day listening to music. "Spiders, let's take our relationship to the next level, I know you have been whilling away your time, just like the spiders of your namesake, waiting for me to come of age so we can try anal, but guess what i just realized i am already of age ever since that mysertious and msyteriously familiar woman at that McDonalds gave me a beej so we can do that now i guess."
"That will probobly pad out the rest of the chapter nicely," Spiders agreed. She began to spit all over herself to lube herself up. She had no idea what she was doing at all.
Harry chuckled at this retarded display with sensitivity and understanding, "i am not going to put my penis all over your body, you stupid girl, i am going to put inside of you hoohoo so that is the only place you need worry about lubricating with your disgusting saliva.
Spiders thought that she had finally met someone who understood her, but it looks like she is wrong. "I'm not spitting all over my own body so that you can penetrate me anally, i'm spitting all over myself because I am punk rock now and that's what punks do." She got up and ran away, tears streaming freely, what would she do no?