Neville was supposed to be at band practice with the rest of the Chumbawumbas, but Spiders let that slide because she had also skipped practice that day because she was too high on Boogers. She figured it didn't matter though since they were a punk band and skipping band practice was pretty anarchy, but Neville wasn't all about anarchy at the moment, he was telling Spiders all about how she should drop the whole web thing and come with him to a Boogers Anonymous meeting so she can finally get off drugs and stop taking Boogers all the time.
"I guess you're right Neville, thanks" Spiders said, as she unbound Draco, Luna and Pansy Parkinson's from her rope and glue web.
"Don't you worry about it Spiders, you deserve a better life, better than trapping easily confused teens in a giant web and drinking them, you're a Hermione from a dimension where Hermione is seven feet tall and really into Spiders, and that still means something dammit." Neville said.
Spiders was ready to clear her life out and she figured Neville had just the tissue, but she was still a little skeptical, "but all of my friends build and hang out in webs all day," she said.
"Then it's time you get new friends," Neville admonished, "so what if your old friends don't approve, if they're going to stand in the way of your journey inward then you should just be rid of them, poison them and move on with your life. You can't make an omelet without poisoning a few friends."
Spiders blinked back sudden tears, Neville's words had stirred something deep within her that had desperately been wishing for the deaths of her friends, and yet had never considered actually making such a thing happen. It seemed so simple when he said it, though there was one problem... "But I don't have nearly enough poison for all of that!" Spiders nearly wailed.
Neville smiled, explaining gently, "that's fine, you can use fire, your bare hands, anything really,"
Spiders wiped a salty tear from her face then grinned despite herself, "I never knew there were so many ways to kill friends!" The world sure seemed like an exciting place to hear Neville tell it.
"Sure there are!" Neville agreed encouragingly, his enthusiasm seeped out to entendril the others, now they all wanted to try Neville's crazy plan for their very selves. The three previously trapped teens, Draco, Luna and Pansy,looked eagerly one to the other.
"Seamus criticized my posture the other day," Luna informed the others, "I can't wait to poison him!"
Draco nodded with a grin, wondering what would happen to Seamus's penis once he had been poisoned and began to wonder about the penises of the poisoned and sick in general while Pansy rubbed her hands together eagerly, expounding on her new plans, "Well I'm going to poison my parents. They're always holding me back, with them gone I can finally be somebody!"
Luna thought this was a good idea but Draco disagreed, "I like your parents..." Pansy shot him one of her 'fuck you' looks for that.
Pansy flipped her hair angrily, "yeah, they're okay sometimes but they are holding me back."
Draco should have just let her have her way but his recent liberation from Spiders's crazy web had made him bold, so he plowed foolishly on with, "from what?", before he realized how negative it was going to sound and did.
"What do you mean 'from what?'?" Pansy wanted to know.
Draco figured he was already in the doghouse so he didn't bother any sort of damage control, "from what are your parents holding you?"
Pansy couldn't believe how sassy he was getting with her, "from reaching my potential," she informed him tersely.
"Potential for what?" Draco shot back.
Pansy was beyond flustered, "That's just it! I don't even know yet! But with them gone I could finally do something with my life, like, I could discover Mars or something..."
"mars," Draco scoffed.
This pissed Pansy off even further, "What's so funny about me discovering Mars huh? so, what? only a man can discover Mars?" Pansy began to advance upon her pale 12 year old boyfriend but he held his ground.
"It's nothing to do with gender, it's just you've never discovered anything!"
Pansy couldn't believe her ears, "I just discovered that you're a little ass hole!" she screamed.
Draco folded his arms with a sneer. "Well done, but my point stands, you don't even know anything about Mars!"
"I know it's the red one!" Pansy yelled then ran tearfully from the room...