Spiders was wore slap out from the Chumbawumbas holiday album preiview surprise show but Neville had found the experience invograting. Some of the original members of the Chumbawumbas had left the band, like Milda Muttonchop but new Cumbawumbas consisting of Luna Spiders and Neville were better than ever! Milda thinks the the 'wumbas "sold out", is going to move in with Jupiter Keyes and sue somebody.
Spiders still had enough energy to encourage Neville, along with Lunas help, to make them cupcakes.
He is baking them now.
His mind wanders back to all the times he died, first by being bonked on the head by none other than the High Templar of the Demon Leuage himself, Moriarti Strand, and also his crazy conversation with Metatron the intercessor. Because of the timeskips rippling out from Nibirus approach (See Chapters 54-56) also because the Demon Lauege...
"Metatron sent me back to life to avert the Hermione Crisis!" Neville urges Spiders while he mixes the eggs and oil for the cupcakes together.
But she still doesn't care! She is a vapid teen and far too preoccupied with her imminent snack and the success of her band.
Now that Neville isn't dead all the Chumbawumbas will be able to sign that record deal with Air Traffic ContRockNRoll Records and Spiders is so enthused with her recently scheduled meeting with the head of the label, Waylon Strutters, also, secretly, of the Demon Leauge, fine details to be hashed out whenever the plane lands.
Which reminded Spiders of the missing pilot! Now she is worried. But luckily her bestie Luna is there two pull her through... A-and she realized suddenly delighted also that nerdy kid who plays drums in my band wont shut up about all kinds of crazy stuff maybe he knows when the plane will land? Id't be better than to keep tryna ignore him droning on and on about 8 person to the death elimination tournaments, Spiders is worried enough about her big meeting with her soon to be boss over at ATC records and also those damn time skips..
"When is this stupid plane going to land so we can sign our record deal and get rich?" Spiders implores of Neville while he stirs.
Nevile alsomst drops his spoon in alarm! "Sh! Don't let all the other passengers know about the fact that this plane has no pilot you idiot! there'd be a riot! then we'd really be in danger." He finishes in a near whisper barely audible over the rhythmic clacking of his stiring spoon.
The look on Spiders's face is enough to tell Neville she has no intent to abide his warning and makes as if to throw the cupcake batter into the trash, "swear to god spiders, I swear to fucking god if you freak everyone out with that shit I will throw this and evey other baked good I see into the ripest, wettest dumpster I can find okay?"
Eventually she nods ascent.
Just then Luna gets and idea sneaks off to write an article for her newspaper about how the pilot is missing which explains the mysteriously long 2 year plane ride... She has a magic pen to write all the copies at once and then arranges for a plane elf slave to distribute the copies.
To cover her tracks and ensure Neville will never find out it was her what broke the story she arranges to excite Spdiers with an enticing idea. Spiders and Luna love to ruin someones day. Usually they just shit all over Doghouse Malfoy, but today they're stuck with Neville so Luna knows this will entice her 7 ft besty into all kinds of crazy things to pester Neville about.
-3 and half minutes before distribution of Return to Hogwarts Daily Special Alert-
Luna to Spiders: "I'm pretty excited about these cupcakes Neville is baking especially because you can put literally anything in cupcakes and it totally tastes amazing, like even if it doesn't taste good outside of a cupcake, when you bake it into cupcakes it tasstes amazing!" Knowing damn well where this will lead. Then while Spiders asks Neville if she can put some glitter and black nail polish on the cupcakes Luna sneaks off and writes that aforementioned article. Then about three minutes later she hands off the fresh copies to Flanky the plane elf.
Luna stealthily returns to the kitchen to the sound of Nevilles patient explanation of why spiders would be a bad cupcake ingredient though he had found a fresh bag of semi sweet chocalote drops he was pretty sure no one as using and he wouldn't mind at all throwing those into the mix, but no, no spiders, not even the not-poison-ones.
Luna smirks to herself congratutorily. "But semi-sweet chocolate drops are boring we want tricked out cupcakes with a lot whipped cream inside the cupcakes like a jelly filled doughnut but with whipped cream instead of jelly and a lot of sprinkles and mike and ikes and m&ms !"
Luna intentionally chodes Spiders into a frantic state alongside her. "YEAH!" Spiders continues more forcefully now that her bestie is back to bolster her confidence, "we want cupcakes with lemon and lime wedges on top with cilantro and guacamole and the really spicey salsa because we can handle it!"
Luna tried to stifle laughter as Neville, sighing, reiterated, "no, whoever told you you can put 'whatever' onto cupcakes and it'll taste great even if It doesn't taste great outside of a cupcake was either stupid or lying or probably both and if your going to chode me into making all these damn things in the first place then there's fuckall chance that I'm going to let you fuck them all up with play dough and bugs or whatever it is you eat."
Luna had known for a while that Neville really didn't actually like hanging out with Spiders, he had some sort of weird ulterior motive..., but she was still just as surprised as Spiders was at his hurtful tone... Spiders slumped against the wall, "nobody likes me."
Luna: "You know that isn't true," she puts a hand up to console her 7 foot tall friend, reaching for her shoulder, failing, landing on her left undertit, all this while glaring daggers at the callous lout of a Neville standing now bashfully, whisk lowered in abasement for his flippantly cruel candor just then...
Luna held her glare, "Listen Spiders, I've had a busy day, and then you guys kind'v pressured me into making these cupcakes, which is fine!,"he rushed to add,"but I really don't think we should put Salsa on them since they're about done now anyway huh? why not just plain cupcakes this time?"
Luna rolled her eyes as Neville added, "then next time you can trick them out however you like okay?" Spiders sniffles back a tear, then bashfully nods and Nevile slips the cupcakes in the oven, Spiders immediately thhrows a handful of Spiders through the oven door as he closes it but Luna distracts his eyes from his hands and the now crawling with spiders oven door by asking him how much exactly they can trick out the cupcakes next time?
Luna, autisticaly, mimics Nevilles sigh before he answers, "as much as you like, you can trick them out from timbucktu and back if you want I don't care anymore."
Good answer Neville... good answer..
Meanwhile
Harmonica has finally gathered if not all then most of the plane elves together and inspired them to unionize!
Harmonica flipped through her copy of Malcom X's autobiography / how to manual for insurrection and guerilla warfare; "the first step it says here is to unionize and go on strike so we can get wages" she told the elves and they eventually agreed that sounded like something they could get behind.
Harmoinca helped Flanky the elf, one of the newest recruits to the cause. Flanky was building a protest sign but it was all tiny and in such a small script that the intended audience, all the Hogwarts student and teacher passengers wouldn't even see it at all.
Luckily Harmonica knew where some building supplies where and her father had been a carpenter so she made a much studier and far larger sign so heavy Flanky could barely raise it into the air without his frail miniture frame toppling. She hotglued the used cocktail napkin his original sign had been made out of, tucked into the end of a drinking straw, over the face a spare stop sign. She soldered a lot of thick copper onto the whole thing, it weighed about 70 lbs and even the most stringent riot gear couldn't lay a scratch on it.
As Flanky, wheezing, dragged the sign out of her impromptu workshop, Harmonica felt filled with a sense of inner peace that could only come from the successful liberation of a down trodden people. It felt good. Damn good.
So good she got wet and couldn't resist jerking off right then and there. Sirius Black happened by and wordlessly he slipped his 4 and a half incher up her backdoor through the slutty revealing jean miniskirt she wore. He rawdoged her until he laid a fat sperm load up her but then she spun him around and really got a good look at his face for the first time and then she bent him over and returned the favor.
She just loved partially balding 40+ white men with criminal records. It was her secret fantasy and desire. But she couldn't even enjoy that providential Christmas gift to the fullest because outside in the main section of the plane there was quite the ruckus.
Harmonica untagled herself from the sweat soaked and flabby, pale, Sirirus Black, and went to see what all the fuss was about.
Harmonica gasped...-!
(to be continued)...