a future entirely relevant from any perspective in time.
When Santa Claus effects ingress unto the Return to Hogwarts Express alongside the smaller two of his new Hermione pals the Time Child and Mecha Granger 20-30 Spine Eaters death rattle is still reverberating off the narrow walls of the cabin. A first year Ravenclaw splattered with blood and bone matter makes her way mouth agape to the serene spectacle intruding upon a former scene of carnage and .depraivity
"Where's everyones Christmas Spirit!?" Santa implores the stricken passengers with his hands on his ample hips.
These kids aren't Merry at all! and on Christmas none the less!
Santa's black leather boot kicks an unconconcious plane elf slave so hard that it bounces bonelessly back off the wall he punted it toward to go tumbling down the aisle in a sort of zombie cartwheel. This illicits a few chuckles from the blood splattered students. They have endured a beleaguering long plane ride... perhaps it would do to lighten up a bit...
As Planet X hurtles unto the Earth, to strike at the very core of magic, Hogsmeade itself! Because of that time dilation is happening and Christmas lasts excessively long(Authors Note: Hey everyone! It's e.b woodhouse here! I just wanted to note that that is why Christmas is taking so long in the chapters even though it's March by now)
HERMIONE ROLL CALL!
Kraug lies paralyzed in bed... motionless
Hermione Lion Heart, the Time Child, the girl who slew Voldemort at the dawn of time itself and Mecha Granger 2030, the futuristic battle droid have snuck off from Santa and the other passengers so they can smoke a joint Mecha Granger 2030 found stuck in her tank treads just now and are still bickering as usual. They argue like an old couple because they spent the last nearly 3 years together, first in an alternate timescape of diagonal hallways and romantic intriuge, then the desert and then the ocean riding on top of Giga Grangers massive palm Giga Granger, their erstwhile mode of transport and composite multi-self being, still follows from without because she is too big to fit on a plane.
Saturnalia and Hermione, twins from an impoverished alternate plane of reality, one with hair of verdant green another with hair of brown, have just left Golden Corral after a thoroughly satisfying meal of fresh fried chicken tenders wrapped with slices of cold ham and nacho cheese pie
Spiders, who is seven feet tall and really into spiders and was just comparing Nevilles cupcakes to The Rape of Nanking, has snuck off from the other members of her band to do a line of Boogers, a new street drug she had supposedly quit taking a while ago... Spiders is the penultimate Hermione, and as such it is her duty to prevent the Hermione Tat Ko; The Hermione Death Battle, but she would much rather get high on boogers and rock out with the rest of the Chumbawumbas
Harmonica, the eight Hermione, crouches alone in the cockpit of the plane sharpening the tip of her dragonbone blade. The sword, Death Maker, had its genesis in the fires of pre time and was entrusted to her by a powerful ally who did not wish to see this Hermione culled by the Gatekeeper Initiative...
"Let them come," she murmured, to herself or to Death Maker even she didnt know.
Outside the cabin a bubble of laughter popped to the surface as Santa Claus capered about for the amusement of the children, his weight had so thoroughly pushed his heel though the back of a passed out elf laying face down that he had stepped on that now the corpse of Bonky the plane elf was impaled around his ankle and he did a jaunty tap dancing jig which shamelessly surged up and down his ample frame and sent Bonkys lifeless body to flapping about in all manner of delightfully absurd postures and positions. At one point Santa began to do a sort of kick step move over and over which caused Bonky's arms to swing out in great parallel arcs and then slam together while his foot reached the full extent of the kick clapping her hands together in time to his kicks and resulting in a general outpouring of renewed Christmas Spirit.
Harmonica slit her eyes. The Christmas Spirit began to seep into the cock pit through the frame of the closed door. It built up like a heavy fog coming down the mountain on a spring morning as the insistent pounding of Santa's jolly dance continued...
A tendril of Christmas Spirit rose off of the floor and lightly brushed the end of Death Makers pommel and the sword hissed. Harmonica knew the sword was special... but now this...?
She tilted her head and furrowed her brow as though seeing the ancient sword for the first time.
Santa too could feel its presence, the presence of its maker, the powerful Annunanki Spirit; Jehovah. He was still bleeding from Muhad and the 'jackers's attack and would need every ounce of christmas cheer that he could conjure...
But what Santa didn't know was... it was actually Spiders's job to kill Harmonica!
But Spiders is too busy worrying about getting a record deal and scoring more boogers to kill anyone!